TopShelf Blogs

got my hip scanned today


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Well, I just got back from having my hip scanned, and honestly, I am a little shaky.

First, there was the whole issue of being nude from the waist down, with only a towel between my legs to keep my privates ... private.

Which created all kinds of I hate my bits to bits feelings ...

Then the lady was poking me with this wand and she wasnt gentle with it ...

I managed to keep breathing during the procedure, but I started crying on my way home ...

Ah, well.

Sensory Processing Issues

I have sensory processing issues and just got hammered with sensory overload. I was about to post a rant, but I think it might be more helpful to start a discussion.

So you know, we might better understand each other, or better understand characters with sensory processing differences of different kinds. I'm currently reading Bailey Summers' Encrypted, and Maddie comes to mind.

"I hate your children"


I hate your kids. And I’m not sorry.

It takes all kinds to make our world and each of us are uniquely one of a kind. Among the billions of people on this messed up planet each individual is one off with no duplicate. Yeah, I know, some will debate that. Moving on to the lady who hates kids. Did she think deep enough to understand she would not be here if her mother or any of the women in her heritage linage thought the same thing?

need author name


I am trying to find a couple of author names so I can order books for my kindle
one is the story about a boy who is transformed by a mud bath at a resort where his mother works
the other is about a man? who is changed by a goddess after he is attached by marauders

I would appreciate any help
pm me at djkauf

I saw it on the News...

It's been done before

Some fanfiction author is going to sue. The 10th anniversary (has it been that long?) Twilight is going to have a genderswapped version of the story.

(I included NSFW based upon what people are likely to say when they see the story. I couldn't find a Caution for horrible things.)

I came out to my family


I am crying with tears of happiness right now i told my brothers my mom and my dad everyone accpected me for who i am as a man to woman i am so over joyed with happiness after being a member of four years you girls and guys are like my online home i love you all i hope you all find your happiness some day i hope to start my transition soon XD.

The school of phobias


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So today i wore an old 1960's era USAF rain jacket to school... And promptly had the police on me telling me to never wear the jacket to school again... The jacket is just a elongated raincoat that is a dark blue. I was told that "it looked scary and it looked like i was 'military' and that offended people." Which is BS because it isn't like it is a jacket with high capacity pockets and weapons holsters... Its a damn raincoat/wind breaker!

Thanks "the news" for making large coats into a sign that you are going to kill people.

Whateley Academy Gen 2: Looking for artistic help

The Whateley Generation 2 team needs an artist who can help with character sketches for the new main Generation 2 characters. What's in it for the artist? Recognition, bragging rights, some early preview of Gen 2, and we are trying to get at funds together for at least SOME financial compensation. Note - this won't be at commercial rates. We're not that rich - we're all volunteer authors.

Question about who would be the most girly

Question about who would be the most girly Jaci or dorothycolleen. or if they were to be in a contest for who would be the cutest were would they land on the list.

i think it would be a tie with both of them for first place



Question for anyone who can answer. How long does it usually take for blood tests results to be made known to a doctor?

I'm asking in connection for my story. I'm having Mathew take a full genetic/dna test, and I just need a time frame.


A different gender binary


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There has been a lot of discussion going around about the gender binary and whether or not it exist. I think binaries are extremely useful, it keeps things down to simplistic choices. Coke/Pepsi, Vanilla/Chocolate, Starwars/startrek.

But there have been a lot of people calling for the end of the gender binary. They say that life is more than male/female. I understand what they are saying, but binaries always make exceptions. That said, I find myself thinking about binaries because I have that kind of time and I think I've come up with something useful.

Another Gaby chapter

Yes, another chapter of Swiss Cheese to munch through.

On another front I can report that Book 14 is coming along, 6 chapters complete so for the impatient the first quarter book should be ready in a fortnight - I'm away this coming week taking a party to look at some Swiss Archaeology.


Glimpses status

Ok, things are going to slow down for a bit. Most of what I've been posting was already written and only needed editing/rearranging.

Now I'm getting to new stuff (or at least newly completed/expanded) and things are likely going to be more spaced out.

Also, my muse decided that now was the time to take the note (and a couple paragraphs of actual story) I had for Don & Alice and go with them.

Don and Alice are *different*. VERY different.

I suspect that many people aren't going to like their background a lot. Alas, they are what they are. And their background, interests, etc are a big part of how they wind up at Whateley as well as how & why they have their abilities.

New home


Well, I've spent a week in lovely England. We spent a night in Blackpool, where I first got to know Abby 2 years ago, and then 2 nights at Hawkshead in the Lake District. I don't know if I'll ever go home. So much history combined with greenery and beauty like I've never seen. Wow!!

Moongoddess, are you okay?

It's been almost two weeks, or maybe it just FEELS like it's been two weeks, without a chapter of THE ENHANCED TRI or SLACKER. I hope this only means that you are working hard and feeling better.

Catherine Linda MIchel

The transgender argument

Often while I'm driving I come up with a lot of thoughts. I've been thinking a lot about explaining transgender to people and this is what I came up.

The argument for those who don’t understand how a person can be transgender:

If I stripped you of your anatomy, would you still identify as a male/female?

(I assume the answer is yes)

Let Reason Prevail


Recently I've spoken to two different Doctors who told me that surgical intervention at birth to correct "gender" irregularities is increasingly being abandoned. When possible, all things being equal, parents are being strongly encouraged to give the child a role in that decision at a much later age.

Here in America, this has been a long hard battle.

On another note, there is now discussion regarding combining Canadian and American Military into one on certain "police" actions. I would agree with this as long as the Canadians are put in charge.


Be careful sending pics to people.


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A friend posted something about folks using pics to try to blackmail people online.

She was mainly aiming at the Littles community, but it applies to many of us here. If you aren't willing to post the pic publicly, you might not want to send it to someone you don't know really well.

Also, a warning for the under 18 folks. Sending nude pics to someone can get *you* busted for producing and distributing child pornography. It's happened to teens in several states.

Anyone with flesh-coloured flesh?

Since we're normally confronted with a pair of so-called flesh-coloured tits whenever we go to the BC homepage, I wonder if any readers actually have flesh of that colour.

My skin around the breast is very pale, almost white, and if I do expose it to the sun goes a shade of brown. It never goes to the pinky colour of most silicone breasts. Does anyone's skin match that colour?

MB2 - Momma's Children and Interview

MB2 - Momma's Children

The long awaited sequel to Momma's Boys

Released: October 20, 2015

Momma's boy was written 4 years ago, and is one of Dauphin's best known and acclaimed stories. Dauphin never has done a sequel, however after many messages asking him to do one for this story, he has finally agreed. The storyline of this one is a secret, so you just have to wait.

looking for a transphobic chew toy? Then boy do I have a link for you!


This is where I have been spending the better part of an hour, debating with some fairly colourful characters. It's in response to a 14 year old transsexual getting her first dose of hormones from her mom, and boy are they all coming out of the woodwork.

End of Month Update on Money


Updated: End of the month and we are about $700 short of our goal. We've been very busy, including some new projects we're not quite ready to talk about.

Bills this week come to about $1300, a lot of them small end of the month things like software licenses, phone bills and such. Any amount will help us out, you can send us a gift or buy a Hatbox subscription. The links are also in the right hand column.

Vaginal Fantasy

This Sunday, October 4th, Felicia Day and friends will be discussing 'Rosemary and Rue', the first book in Seanan McGuire's October Daye urban fantasy series. Vaginal Fantasy is a 'romance book club', which meets once a month to discuss a book. Strictly speaking, 'Rosemary and Rue' and the series as a whole doesn't fall into the romance genre, but there is romance involved, sandwiched between the bloodshed. It should be a good time, though be warned, there may be spoilers.

What the Pope said about transgender folk

So, I was not vitally interested in the Pope's visit but did hear that he had something to say about transgender folk. Avoiding the hype and hate crowd, I didn't look it up until this morning. It seems that T folk were compared to be Atom Bombs. Is that all bad?

So, does anyone know what he actually said? I can't seem to penetrate the media fog to see. I did find one youtube video that seemed promising but it was the usual ignorant bile.

Wonder City stories: I am lost in the city.

Since Tris Shandy posted the link to the Wonder City stories I have gotten totally lost in this amazing collection of tales. Am I the only one?
The writer is simply dead on with characterizations and the plots interweave and leaves me breathless from trying to keep up. Simply amazing stuff. Thank you Tris, for this great headsup.

Catherine Linda Michel

Too many ideas

So, I have a question for more experienced authors out there. You see, I have ADD and with it came quite the active imagination, so my mind is constantly writing stories or coming up with scenes, ideas and concepts. But I can't write them all and all of them need work, many don't even work and are more just a series of scenes sewn together.

My question is, what do you do when you have too many ideas trying to get through your head?

had a brief trip to the hospital today


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Well, I went to the hospital today, but I didnt get a full visit with my doctor, but I was able to get an appointment with him for tomorrow morning. He said very likely they will increase the dosage on my anti depressants, in the hope that will also help with my PTSD attacks.

Tried a pasty today...


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I was at the "London Tea Room" (my favorite tea shop here in St. Louis) around lunchtime, and saw they had Cornish Pasties on offer. And after reading Sue Brown's "Changes" stories and Shiraz's "Unaccounted Gains", I had to see what all the fuss was about, so I gave it a try.

Tales of the Anari ????

Looking for a Science Fiction story whose title is worded something like "Tales of the Anari". As I remember, the author just did the one story and in my opinion it was one of the most excellent tales I have seen. I think it was published around 4-5 years ago.


One for Cathy?


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Police in Gloucestershire near Dursley are hunting a wallaby - it could only happen in the UK. Looks like it got the jump on them as it escaped their efforts to apprehend the illegal immigrant.

See the full story here:

Sorry no Bike tonight been busy.

I really hate my skin...


I shaved on Thursday for the first time in about a week, which is about how often I usually do it. I shaved again just now in anticipation of going out tonight, and for the love of monkeys, you'd think I used a cheese grater to do it. I even made sure to use a fresh blade, but nooooooo, let's have whole patches of little micro-nicks all around my Adam's apple and on my jawline. And this happens almost every time I shave more than once or twice a week. *sigh*

Review: Wonder City Stories

Wonder City Stories by Jude McLaughlin is a series of novels and short stories set in a world with superheroes, but the stories are not primarily about active superheroes (or supervillains). Most of the main characters are ordinary people with minor superpowers, who work regular jobs (construction work, barista, architect, journalist, therapist, etc.) and don't have codenames or crimefighting identities; some are retired superheroes, others young trainee heroes. Several characters are transgender, gender-fluid, or non-binary.

Esperanza - Now on Kindle from Doppler Press


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My novelette 'Esperanza' is now available from Doppler Press on Kindle. Proceeds go to support Erin and her crew here at BigCloset.

If you haven't read it, I think you will like it.

It's a story I wrote about 12 years ago from an outline given me by BoyChiq who has since gone stealth. It's a ghost story about a girl who wasn't a boy and a man who wasn't dead.


Thank you for the reviews and kudos for Five Minutes to Eternity


In less than a week I have received more kudos and reviews, for my short story, "Five Minutes to Eternity", that any other single piece of writing I have posted on Big Closet here.

Thank you, to all of you, for your support. I am glad so many people enjoyed reading what I wrote. Your actions warm my heart. And I hope you enjoy reading the others stories I post here, as well.

Have a nice day,


Lizzie Armitstead wins World Championship Road Race


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Well done, Lizzie, what an achievement. So she gets to wear the rainbow jersey for the next year.


In a small matter at Twickenham, Wales beat England 28-25 in the Rugby World Cup, though both sides accumulated more injuries.


At last


For anyone who knew of my multiple failed attempts to make it to the UK to marry my sweetheart Abby, I have arrived! I got in last evening and we drove to Sheffield after a lovely dinner in Manchester. Needless to say it's a tad bit colder here than where I'm from. It was 107 degrees Fahrenheit when I left Phoenix Arizona USA. I'd love meet a few of the crowd of BC if possible while here.8 weeks of chilly old England.

For your entertainment

In my never-ending quest to find things cool and awesome, I have discovered an amazing artist. If you're already familiar with her, yay! If not...

Her name is SJ Tucker, and her style is ... difficult to describe. Mythpunk, folk-rock, neopagan blues might be a good start, but she really defies category. The important thing is this: she is amazingly talented.

Magical Skirts

So, I'm a hormone-taking transsexual, but i'm very much a tomboy transsexual; a rarity i know but we exist. But my boyfriend is gender fluid (I use 'she' for her most of the time) and got me into a skirt.

These things have some kind of spell on them because I'm addicted to them now! AAH! What's next!?

Lesson Learned

I had hoped the posting of The English Courtesan, which is nothing more than a story about two people, separated by centuries, who are struggling to come to terms with the very different worlds they live in would be taken at its face value. That it is somehow managing to degenerate into analogy of modern day political and social issues and a platform for readers to voice their thoughts on them is unfortunate.

Sexual Assignment of Intersex Babies in the Early 1950's


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Does anyone know anything about the medical techniques used to assign sex to intersex babies in the early 1950's? I have more than a passing interest in this.

First let me get a few facts out in the open. I have never really felt like I was a woman in a man's body, but there have been a number of psychological, sexual, and health anomalies in my life. Here are just a few of them.

Any other suggestions?


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I've been heavily involved in some activism for T folk in the Mormon church for some time and it feels like I am dealing with an unchangeable monolith. Perhaps abandoning what I've been doing is best? Sometimes no matter how many unimpeachable facts you give it is not worth the struggle since their agenda is not what I thought it was. Any who would like further explanation, you may PM me.

Photos of Victorian Crossdressers / Transgender Women


The link below to the daily Mail shows some photos from the Victorian era of some notable and not so notable cross-dressers, female impersonators and possibly some transgender women as well, including perhaps the first post operative transsexual woman, Lili Elbe made famous in the upcoming film starring Eddie Redmayne as The Danish Girl.

Worth a look.

A very bad couple of hours



Yesterday, I was making a masterpiece of a mousetrap car for my physics class (I am in high school, and i know that it says +18 but I've been coming here since before that) and today i come home and decide to put on the finishing touches and test it. I finish the construction and test it once... The damn thing falls apart, so i try to fix it, but I keep burning myself on the hot glue gun. Then the lever to increase the leverage fails, which means more hot glue which results in more burns, i cut myself with the box cutter slightly, and it still won't stay together.

My day at the Oregon Coast Aquarium

My wife and I were on vacation last week on the Oregon Coast. I love her dearly. She struggles to accept and understand her feminine husband. It is with great effort that she lets herself be seen with me when I'm not masquerading as an average male.

Writing off

I wont be writing for awhile. RL is sucking and I need to put all my energy into keeping my head above water, so to speak. I wont be posting for two weeks at least at this point. To those few who were following my stories I'm sorry. I will get back to posting as soon as I can. Later all.

Compulsory Heterosexuality

When I started transition, my gatekeeper, and some people in my support group, both insisted I'd turn out straight. Well, I am lesbian. But I still have a lot of hang-ups from that. And I haven't read much about the men, but I've seen a lot of stories about womyn who turn out bi/pan or het, but not so much about womyn who turn out lesbian or ace. And I really want to say that no, just because someone transitions doesn't mean that they'll develop an attraction to other sexes/genders. Some do, some don't, and I wish it were easier for each group to find representation.

Found on FB. I thought it might be relevant to a few here.


This was posted on a group's timeline.

homosexuality and homophobia.jpg

The translation:

Homosexuality exists in 450 species of animals.
Homophobia in 2: a spider that lives at the Equator, and some idiots (*) who live in the Middle Ages.

Quite succinct, I feel.

(*) a politer word has been substituted for the original here.

One hundred forty-two

That is how many pieces of fiction I've posted to the site.

Of course, this is a bit selective. I skipped title pages, obviously, but I'm also not including things like the lyrics to the "Hollywood!" theme song (a story I still plan to write, one of these days,) the BC Chat Gaming posts (don't remember those? not surprising, nobody read them :P ) and similarly not-really-stories-but-in-the-stories-list-anyway bits. Likewise, it ALSO doesn't include blog entries or forum topics, both of which have seen short bits of fiction shared as well.

for those who struggle with suicidal thoughts

September is suicide prevention month, so if you guys dont mind, I would like to talk about suicide for a moment, specifically the first time I danced on the edge of killing myself. Those who are sensitive to this subject should probably skip this one

not sure


this is my first time trying to post a public question, so not sure who if anyone will see this.

I have just finished venus cursed by saless and noted that the latest post states that it will never be finished, my question is why will it never be finished?



I'm looking for someone who lives in and around London. This is not about a story. I need some information. So if you can PM me I will let you know what I need. Thank you

Skype is goofy today.

Well, as I expected, skype is weird today. Why did I expect things to happen to skype? Because Microcrap owns it now and has for awhile.

Now for a lot of you, you don't even use skype, this is no big deal. For me and those like me who depend on skype for outgoing calls and for conversations, it IS a big deal.

School is back


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Well... Im finally a junior, but it is bitter sweet. It means that I only have a couple more years with the few friends that I have. It will also mean that I will no longer be able to see my sister. My mom makes sure to remind me of that almost every day. Now that I am a junior, I am taking AP classes, which fills up my schedule. I am always in the dark as to what is happening to the chat room... I am taking two AP classes at the moment, AP English III and AP US History.