TopShelf Blogs

Discriminatory attitudes


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I don't understand!

I don't understand why people feel the need to tell others how to live their lives. When you get right down to it that is what North Carolina DC 9 and similar laws are really about. I have a hard enough time trying to live my own life by my own ethical standards to spend time trying to tell someone else how to live theirs.

I don't understand hate. I've tried to hate various people and ideas, but it is too much work. It is much easier to love and tolerate, and I'm lazy.

North Carolina LGBT law violates civil rights


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In a letter to Gov. Pat McCrory, the Justice Department said federal officials view the state law as violating federal Civil Rights Act protections barring workplace discrimination based on sex. Provisions of the state law directed at transgender state employees violate their anti-discrimination protections, the letter said.

Certificate of Change of Name


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In the matter of:, MacKinnon, William Bryan

I, Michael J. Carey, Register of Probate at the Hampshire Probate and Family Court, hereby certify that after application and after due public notice the following persons changed their name as follows:

from: William Bryan MacKinnon to: Brianna Frances MacKinnon
which shall now be their legal name


Arson attempt at GRS surgery in Canada


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Early on monday evening an attacker attempted to burn down the Centre métropolitain de chirurgie in Montreal; the only place in Canada you can get GRS. It is also the practice of Dr Pierre Brassard, one of the top GRS surgeons practicing anywhere.

The full news story is available here.

Gabycon 2016


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More details at the weekend but we are pleased to announce that the 2016 Gabycon will take place over the last weekend of June - that's 24th to 26th.

Format will be pretty much as usual - cycling, reading, eating, drinking!

More details will be released as soon as we have them!



Jackie Evancho’s Sister Tells Her Emotional Transition Story

This was on my local news last night. There is a video interview with family. A nice change from the bathroom bills blogs :)


New Cover Artist

POPULAR.jpg I'm really pleased to announce that I am partnering with bela04 to make covers for my stories. This is the cover of the story that I'm publishing after I finish "FEMAIL", but I was so happy with the work bela04 did that I wanted to share it as soon as I could. Bela04 is an incredibly talented artist that generally creates comics about Age Regression/Pregoression, though they have a few really good TG comics as well. They have a Patreon at, and have also just announced that they are taking commissions. If you're looking for an artist to do covers or work on full length comics, I would definitely check them out.

Weird dreams, and trying to write


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I have the weirdest dreams.

Like last night I dreamed I was at an event at the University of Alberta, and the person I was with caught a bus without me. I then wandered around for a while, saw a pretty girl, and kissed her for no good reason.

Then I apologized for kissing her.

There was more, but honestly, it was so jumbled I cant really make sense of it.

On the other hand, at least the fact I had a dream means I'm getting used to wearing the CPAP machine ...

Early applicant for the bathroom police...


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“When I saw you enter...I thought you was…,” the as-yet-unidentified man said.

“A boy?” Rush replied. She was wearing a t-shirt and basketball shorts.

“You know it’s difficult,” the man said with a shrug as he walked away from the bathroom. “You are dressed like a man. Of course, you are dressed like a man, so…”

REACHit to the rescue

For those of you who deign to read my blog, you may remember how I was having trouble getting to file share between my Laptop and my Desktop computers. I'm not much into cloud services so I passed on that suggestion.

However, poking around on my Lenovo Y700 I discovered a program called "REACHit" It purported give you access to files on all your devices on your local network without using the internet.

Chapter Problems

Well I've run into a bit of a problem with Just Keep Rolling as I seem to have run out of chapters for now. Well I still have Ch.4 I can post but after that, I have nothing.

I was doing really good with my writing---keeping a schedule but I've had some stuff in real life that kept interfering. I have literally written half a page of Ch.5 sadly. So if I do post Ch.4 in the next day or so, it could be a few weeks before I get Ch.5 or other chapters written and posted.

Cuteness overload

When the human world gets to be too much for me (which is most of the time, these days), I watch this:

Twenty minutes of pure bliss and contentment. Not a word is spoken, and yet they manage to say it all. If only I’d had parents like these? When my father gave me a licking, it never looked like this. If mom had this sort of patience and affection?

My eternal thanks to the clever folks who write video download software… :}


I have great expectations when I submit a story for the scrutiny of the readers; however, I never know how it's going to be received. My latest effort's (Discovery) reception has been very pleasing, especially because the story's background development is going to take seven chapters. Someone commented early on that it seemed a bit slow in developing. I had to do it that way to fill in the background before we get to the part of the story based on an old play and opera. It's been nice to see that the interest hasn't waned much. Thank you for sticking it out.

too cool busted 100! kudos

Yaaa finally got 100 kudos on one story then another went the same way!

I am trying to see what you guys like more?

vantier or Shadowsblade?

As One has a higher 'read' count (shadowsblade) But Vantier has more kudos?

So I guess both in its own way!

and like I said before send in your questions and ideas! As I do listen to readers and add stuff as I go along
Example "We want more Violet the Pixie!" so I added her in more....instead of the 'backup' character she was

thanks guys its fun here!

Broken Phoenix = No mas :(

Most of you probably know by now that I lost my outline for Broken Phoenix due to a lackluster job by a computer repair chain. I have the first two chapters still and what Little I had started on chapter 3. But that does me no good if I don't have the outline to finish the story. So it pains me to say this but Broken Phoenix is toast. I don't even know where to go as far as a new story goes. I'm a "novice" in this genre of fiction so it's kinda hard to find a plot that'll actually work and not feel completely illegible so to speak.


Lots of T folk, even post op ones, seem to feel the need to rat themselves out, even the ones who pass impeccably.

I have just been through a couple very tough and bruising weeks dealing with the Bathroom thing. It's very difficult to establish a balance between forgiving those who hurt us, and being very mad, incensed even at their ignorant and stupid position. In my case, having come from one of those groups, I feel quite qualified to beat them about the ears with their own clubs.

I'm feeling quite knackered now so will try to stand down for a while.

Fools Rush In to April Story Challenge - Last Day!

{Refreshening this announcement} Time for a new story challenge (Not a Contest)! :)

This is for any story or chapter of a longer work based on the theme of "Fools Rush In" posted in the month of April, 2016.

It's just for the fun of it so there are no prizes but there will be a feature spot on the front page for entries, once we have a few. Any length, solo or serial chapter or whatever. Go for it!


2016-04 (2)


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Received my first pension payment yesterday. After the standard bills (mortgage, elec/water, internet/phone, pets, ...) I got about 155 a month for food and medical left. Can't count the tax return at the moment as it's going straight to school at the moment ( the little that's left to pay) and some 'end of the year bills' (healthinsurance, hosting, cloathing, ... ) and no clue for this and next year due to end of contract (2015) and out process (2016) payments.

Bad Day +3


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It's been a little challenging since my last blog.

I had been waiting for an email back from the housing services lady and I sent a chaser email on Thursday morning, copied to a general inbox. With nothing heard I headed out just before midday. Only now did I receive an email reply asking if I had been to see the outreach officer in the local job centre. I queried this, given I had supplied all the documents requested. She insisted and said we would be thrown out of the hotel if I didn't.

Hatbox updated again


Newest Update: We have about $1800 due Friday and we have less than $500 in our bank accounts.

Not completely unexpected but we got hit with a tax bill for $800+, higher than expected, and now Felix has to deal with the expenses related to Katie's death, about $1600, without Katie's income, and we want to help out.

Accordingly, we are going to increase the April goal for the Hatbox to $5000. Yeah, I know that's a lot and to be frank, we're not really expecting to make it but we just wanted everyone to know that that is what we are going to be trying to pay out of our own resources.

Here's the usual info:

Use this link to send us a gift:

One-Time Gift


Use this link to subscribe through the Hatbox Membership page:


Checks can be made out & sent to:
Janglewood LLC
602 Higgins Ave
Suite 1 #283
Brielle, NJ 08730

Thank You

Return of

Hi everyone, well its long passed due but I've finally got to a point where I can resurrect! The first proper update won't be until next week but here's a link anyhow with a synopsis to what's afoot!

You get the update here early this week as I'm away riding at the weekend so go here for a new Gaby chapter.

So until next time


Ummm ... hypocricay much? (sort of political)

I was surfing the net and found one of the transgender bathroom rights versus sexual predators (probably a NC law supporter) ads. With the statement "Please do not let these hate groups win!!! " appended in support of the ad.

I have to ask, how does supporting a hate group (anti-transgender) in any way prevent a hate group from winning??

Found My Brain But can’t find my Sanity,

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Well got the house all unpacked and most of everything put away. Maiha and Sam stopped by the new digs to help out. Thankfully they knew where they packed my brains. It seems the girls thought it would be funny to put them in a box marked Yard Tools. That box wound up in the guest bedroom behind the door. Now if they could only find where I packed my sanity I might just be able to get back to writing.

Bad Day +1


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So my situation isn't brilliant but the help is starting to happen, or at least tiny steps towards proper help.

My daughter had been allowed time off school this morning but it wouldn't have achieved anything o she went in and had breakfast in the canteen, the school has allowed free meals for her in the interim. As she didn't have access to her phone charger one of the staff arranged charging facilities. I had a job this morning, whilst it wouldn't be a priority it did generate some cash for the one hour I was there (idiot locked himself out of Windows 10 machine).

Mini-Contests? Sign me up!

My, my, the changes that have taken place since I've been away....

Some sad, like Katie Leone's sudden passing (and more on that after I've had a little sleep--RIP Katie) and some pleasantly surprising, like these "mini-contests."

Where are the rules for each month's contest posted? I've looked in the usual section for contests, but have found nothing. I doubt I'll be able to contribute anything for this month, but May is a possibility.

Hal 9000 is back on line!


well the hard drives are in and I got back up!

I just put up that latest chapter of Vantier for all of you, that has been waiting for a few weeks.

I had to work and that killed my time off....then add, I work with my hands and typing at the days end is Nye impossible! at times. Then next, when I was done with my assignment. The hard drive failed!

Opinions please... Bathroom debate

This showed up on my wife's Facebook page. She asked my opinion of it and I looked it over and thought, "What would the gang at BCTS think?"

Transgender in Women's Bathroom (Social Experiment)

Let me know if you feel this was a fair experiment or does this guy have an agenda and is he trying to appear sympathetic while joining the anti trans bathroom argument?

Is this sort of thing possible?

I haven't been stopping in much lately, as I've spent much of the last several months binge-watching online movies and videos (an activity which, sadly, has taken the place of writing). Ironically, the movie I was watching last night might very well summon the writing muse again.

Contributing to the Hatbox

Since I cant give money to the Hatbox at the moment, I've found a different way to help out here.

I've asked Erin to put my story "Quest for the Silver Cleric" in the Hatbox story collection, in the hope that my readers might join the Hatbox to check it out.

So please do!

A forlorn hope perchance


Hi all,

I am spending far too many hours on a project by making assumptions, or, better said, approximations, and then having to spend so much time smoothing out the approximations to give vaguely meaningful results.

It would be so much more simple if I could just enter the variables into a spreadsheet and sit back and let it do the work for me.

Back Home - worst luck!

Well I'm back in England - for a few weeks at least, so I present to you the next part of Culture Clash.

My trip to the Spreewald Marathon was quite successful - a total ride time of 6:35 for the 203km was a new personal best for the event despite the damp on the day. My actual ride time gave an average of almost 32kph/21mph which I'm quite proud of, I doubt i'll come close to that next week in the Tour de Yorkshire event!



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Lots of good conversation going on in the news and on places like Facebook, where Target, the American Family Association and other sites feature homophobes.

Though participating in the commerce is exhausting, I think a lot of good is coming of it. I'm just too snotty and sassy to let some of what the ignorant are saying just go by. Though, the time will come when I need to step back and take a break.

Many on the news and in Facebook are sympathetic to our plight, something that surprises me.

Counting is HARD! (Only for me)

Thanks to everyone who pointed out that I mis-numbered the last two chapters of Secondhand Life. I can only quote leaders and CEOs throughout history in saying:

"Mistakes were made"

...."by ME."

Okay, that last part is not a quote of any leader or CEO anywhere, ever.

But how I wish it was. ;-)

Check two-four (times many, many days)


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Well, gee. . .

it has really been three years. Time flies when you really don't have much to mark its passing. Saw my name in one of the blog posts today. logged on to my account (took me three tries to remember the password!) to reply and saw I had two unread messages - both over a year old.


My sincere and heartfelt apologies for my inattentiveness. As a much younger man was taught to say, "No Excuse, Sir/Ma'am."

Help! some one packed away my brain!


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Well I finally got into my new home. Very little problems with the move. Now I only have to deal with finding where everything is packed. At this point I think someone packed up my mind and I am drowning in a Sea of BOXES. If anyone has seen my mind and know what box it is in PLEASE tell this poor author where it is at. The good news is now that the move is over I should be posting new chapters here shortly.

Some good news on the job front


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Some good news on the job front.

I had an interview with the new cleaning company on Wednesday night, and they impressed me. Enough that if they offer me a position (they are supposed to be coming back Tuesday with the offers), I will take the offer

so if you heard

so if you heard via nuaan

my comp died via a hard drive going to the place where ----- digital stuff dies

well I am waiting for a new hard drive via the mail and I did save ---as far as I know all I have written! So with that I will be back to writing soon? this weekend maybe?

Tigger lost?

I was a bit bored a bit earlier this week and decided to go looking for a story, any story by Tigger that caught my eye. As I looked, I started looking at dates and to my dismay saw that December 2012 was the last post of any kind by him. Has anyone seen a post by him or heard if something happened? His stories were always interesting and well written that it would be a shame to not see anything new by him.

So crazy, so insane

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Life is bigger, too bigger for me right now. Why is it that the "50 Shades" trilogy makes so much sense to me; that I see myself in Anna, Christian and his subbies? Why do I vainly hope for that good ending? Why do I inwardly "rage against the dying of the light"? I've been tasked with writing a letter, my final appeal to a group of men that I have little respect for, and further my friends ask me to not be insolent and sassy, and disrespectful. They tell me that even if this last effort fails, at least it will benefit those behind me.

Hugs needed :(


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Can my life get any more hectic? College graduation is right around the corner, Moving houses with my boyfriend, finding work near the new house, and having a friend in the hospital! I'm at wits end and need some support. FYI Broken Phoenix is continuing, I just haven't had much writing time of late.

Why Do I Read Stories on Big Closet?


I read TG stories because they affirm my belief that there are a lot of people in the world who think somewhat like I do. I feel threatened by what I see as a less than compassionate attitude expressed by many in RL. The more I believe there are millions of TG people, the less I fear my own reality.

So why do I come to Big Closet for TG literature?


Transgender kid is tormented by his older brother growing up. His brother almost beat him to death when he caught him in his room in heels.

His older brother grew up to become a world famous scientist. He had a wife who died delivering triplets.

The transgender girl (who her brother insists is a man) found love and invited her brother to the wedding.

Her brother refused to acknowledge his sister as a woman, kidnapped her on her wedding day, and took her to his lab.

he tested "cures" for what he saw as a disease until his sister died on his lab table.

Blog Entry 20th April 2016- Across the Universe 2

No song this time as I'm reusing the blog entry title. :-p

Ten months ago (to the day, actually) I wrote a blog post detailing five stories I had in mind to add to the expending 'Jamieverse': 'Stephanie', 'Ian', 'Simone', 'Karsten', and 'The Playboy Club'. Here's the link to said post-

More makeup magic


Most of us, yep that includes moi, can't afford forty or fifty dollars a week on makeup. Even the basics like eye shadow, mascara, lipstick has become expensive. We find our favorites and age and the world changes what works so we try several others seeking that which we lost, our youth. Makeup is good but it ain't that good.

Just for fun, here are some makeup magic tricks.

Have fun with life, it's too short to take it seriously

Court overturns Virginia school's transgender bathroom rule

Still more appeals to go through. This is the same court that would review North Carolina's law.

A Virginia high school discriminated against a transgender teen by forbidding him from using the boys' restroom, a federal appeals court ruled Tuesday in a case that could have implications for a North Carolina law that critics say discriminates against LGBT people.

Found out something about myself while researching for a story.


So I was researching some of the modern terms coined by the asexual community because one of my characters has only desired our protagonist. I was reading the definition of demisexual, meaning that you only desire sex with someone you're in love with. Now, many people would only have sex with someone they feel an emotional connection to, but the desire is there. Not so for demisexuals. I spotted a link for a quiz. Realizing that this term seems to describe me, I took the quiz. It tells me that I am demisexual! So I'm not just a prude after all!

You learn something new everyday!

Anmarian Appendices

Hi all,

as you Anmar fans are aware, Penny has just started a new thread called "What Milsy Did".
I happen to know that this is also a multi-part tale, but not as long as SEE - nowhere near!

So I have created another entry for it in the "Anmarian Appendices" to provide a simple click mechanism to leap straight to any one particular chapter. This entire portion of the Appendices I shall then order by author name. Unlike everywhere else I have done, these entries shall NOT be in alphabetical order.

Painted Ladies, by P R Ellis

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I've just finished reading "Painted Ladies" by P R Ellis. Even without a transgender main character, it is a good police/detective story. For those of us in this community, the transgender heroine is frosting on the cake.

I'm Back!


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I'm back for now, I'm living in a assisted living facility as almost died this last January and with the stroke I had three years ago this month I'm not doing real good. Then trying to log back on the system refused to accept the log-on info I had written down I had to start a new account. Richard

Mixed Weekend


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Quite an active weekend despite I think having a continuing UTI which gets uncomfortable to painful at times and can be embarrassing as well especially if I don't make the loo in time. On Sunday which was a beautifully sunny and warm out of the cool breeze, I visited with a few others of the mammal group to one of the committee members garden which also happens to be a nature reserve. They have dormice in their hedgerow, which was why I was there along with the others hoping to see some.

Strange dreams


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I've had a lot of "searching" dreams - dreams where I'm looking for a place, a person, or an object, but last night i had a slightly different version of those dreams.

I was at some kind of combination carnival and sporting event with my brother and some friends, and when we got to our seats for the game, I realized I was hungry, and so went looking for a concession stand.

There I met a man who knew me, and he took me into secret parts of the site, and then I won a carnival game, and he seemed kind of sad about that for some reason.

Words to Live By by Megan Campbell


I am finding new inspiration every day because of this site.

I saw a Sarah Carerra blog post and after reading the comments decided to check out the story. I am loving every installment, but about halfway through book 1 I was so touched by these words. It is such a defining sentiment for anyone who has lost themselves only to discover who they really are.

I see singing as a metaphor for self-awareness.

"It felt so good to be singing again. It felt so good to finally let other people hear my voice and not be ashamed by it"

Sarah Carerra: Where is she? and other FAQs

Sarah Carerra: Where is she? and other Frequently Asked Questions

Hi everyone! It’s been a long time since I posted anything here, and for that I am deeply sorry. A number of things have led to my absence, but I’ve recently started writing again and I’m excited about what will hopefully be coming soon. I’ve put together a small list of answers to questions I frequently get asked and thought I’d post it for anyone interested.

Finally caved

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So I consider myself rather efficient in keeping healthy. I try to eat right, exercise (maybe too much). Sometimes I have issues sleeping, but it always seems to be "enough" when I get it. Over the years I've adopted too many feminine beauty regimens to register myself on the male side of the gender spectrum.

Trans Author on BBC website

This is an article entitled

Living with Peter who dresses as Penny

He's also a local Counsillor and Author (At least three books on Amazon) with a very understanding wife.

Here is another link to him on the Daily Flail/Fail/Mail. (Sorry)

Update on Denise


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Just to let you know, Denise is improving rapidly. For a while, letters were squiggly lines with no meaning. Now, although they have to be larger, letters and words are making sense. The cognitive difference had made typing difficult, bu now she's pluggin along really well.

We are in the process of writing a saga - a five volume story, should we live so long. Don't expect the first chapter for at least six months. After that maybe one complete story a year. At least, that's the plan at this time.

Denise thanks you for your good thoughts and prayers.

Touting Someone Else


I normally do not make unsolicited endorsements without first communicating with the author;however, I log in to Amazon daily through the BCTS link to benefit the site as much as I can. I recently read a book that is listed there called, Chained Melodies: A transgender romance by Debrah Martin. It is free to Amazon unlimited users and only a dollar to anyone else. It is a very compelling story and is well worth the time and expense.


God Bless the Child - An Opportunity

K.T. Leone recently passed away. Coincidentally I was reading her God Bless the Child. I haven't read much that Katie write for the last ten years or more. I didn't care for some of her themes and we "spared" years ago.

I just finished God Bless the Child. If you haven't read it, you should consider allowing yourself this treat. It's graphic and not for the faint of heart. It contains some religious sentiment, but not more than what is needed to be true to the story.

Bimbos Sanctuary is back


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Feeling Femme Sanctuary, AKA Bimbo's Sanctuary, AKA AmberChalise is back!

Apparently the Host didn't tell Amber, AKA Candi Shinne that they changed how the database they were using works. That made the website inaccessible.

Here's the link now:

Candi will be posting more info soon.


Elton John, Eric Clapton, Anmar, Palarand and Julina

At one of his concerts, George Michael was singing his version of Elton John's 'I Won't Let The Sun Go Down On Me.' Half way through the song, George announced to the surprised and delighted audience, as the lights came up on the piano player, and with a rising flourish: “Ladies and Gentlemen – Mister Elton John'. The composer himself was on stage playing along and he joined in the singing at that juncture. The live recording of that track went on to be a big hit.

2016-04 (1)


Well the amount of pension I'll receive has been approved as well as the first date of payment (end of April for April, backpayment of March somewhere in May). It's around what I estimated. So good (not enough for an happy dance).

On another positive note. Due to the fact I haven't got a bachelor degree I can ask for student support which doesn't impact my pension. (which is good enough for a happy dance > going to school almost for free till I get a bachelor and Uni / College is now manageable).

Tamara series/Shiraz followers


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Stop press!

I was watching a Television program on a guy walking around Scotland following old original tourist guides - I was so excited to see he was going to call at Thurso, the setting of a great deal of the Tamara series. Disapointed that he didnt go into the town and harbour and give a glimpse of this distant place. However, it would appear that Thurso is one of the top surfing spots in the UK, for masochists or rubber fetishists! boy does the north sea look cold. Will any of our characters be taking to a board?