A Christian Defense of Same-Sex Marriage

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I am an American. I was born in New York City and I believe that this Republic is one of the best forms of government that has ever come to pass on the face of the Earth. Let me start off by saying that I am a born again Christian, and I will not apologize for that. I was saved at the age of fourteen, regularly have attended church, and even listen to Christian Broadcasting every morning diligently. I believe that the Bible is the word of God and that it should be revered, and in most ways I am extremely conservative.

Those things being said, it might come across as surprising that someone of my religious and political inclinations would actually be in support of same-sex marriage. I did not come to this decision lightly, nor was a struck by a flash of inspiration and so-called open mindedness to come to my conclusion. I put careful consideration and deliberation into this argument, trying to get past the emotion and rhetoric that has been bounced around the political arena and have come to realize this truth; allowing same-sex marriage is the Christian thing to do.

Imagine if you would, that tomorrow the government tells a church that it is denied the right to perform weddings. That should not stand, right? But isn't that what we are doing to the number of Gay and Lesbian churches throughout our great nation.

What? But doesn't the Bible say that marriage is between a man and a woman?

Yes, that is what the Bible said. Every time that marriage is mentioned in the Bible it is always in the context of a man and a woman (or women in some old testament passages). I am not here to argue the Biblical definition of marriage though, but what an American Christian's attitude toward such should be.

One of the great things about our nations is the fact that we allow for religious freedom. We can worship, or chose not to worship, in many forms as long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others. However, when it comes to the question of same sex marriage, that is exactly what we are doing. If, as a Christian, you view marriage as a God ordained institution, then by forbidding a class of society to participate is to infringe upon their religious freedom. By telling these couples that they cannot join in matrimony would be the same as telling a Jewish person they could not go to the temple or a Muslim not to go to mosque. Even though I do not hold the views of Jewish or Muslim people to conform to my beliefs, it would be considered unchristian for me to restrict their worship. In the same way, by forbidding same-sex couples from marrying, I am doing the exact same thing.

As a follower of Christ, I am not commanded to condemn but to love. I am not called to oppress, but to lift up. As a Christian I will not lead anyone to Christ by telling them that they are an abomination unworthy of salvation. It is only by our displays of love and acceptance that those who are in need of a savior can come to Jesus. But, by denying people basic rights, we are acting more like the Biblical Pharisees than we are behaving like Jesus.

That said. With the religious context out of the way, we get to the role of government in this whole debate. Should the government allow same-sex marriage? The answer is yes. The government has removed marriage from the arena of a religious right into a civil contract a long time ago. There are millions of marriages that are performed outside of the church and there is no debate that these marriages should be not valid. It would be against the civil liberties of millions if the government would deny a marriage based on religious affiliation. Can you imagine the uproar if a person went to a Justice of the Peace and was denied marriage because they were Episcopalian, or atheist.

By denying same-sex marriage, the government is denying a basic common freedom, that being the right to decide who we wish to spend our lives and grow old with. In essence, the government is imposing a sort of caste system and arranged marriage ritual on its citizenry. “You can and will marry only this subset of the population or not marry at all.” That reeks of the bigotry that exist when bi-racial couples marry and people scoff. We have come to the point where it is no longer shocking that a white man and a black woman marry, where not even the boldest Christian would get up in church and denounce such a union. But, we will attempt to stand on some moral high ground to impose our beliefs that one man should not marry another.

I also think it is important to mention, because I think it might be one of the fears that some churches have if same-sex unions are legalized, where I do not believe that we should deny same sex marriage, I think it is common sense that churches not be required to perform such ceremonies if it goes against their particular beliefs. If a church or any religious organization holds that marriage is the union between one man and one woman, then to be required to perform such a ceremony would be infringing on their beliefs. Nor should they be held liable for not performing them. If we are going to say that marriage is a religious institution, then telling a church how to implement it would fly in the face of the first amendment. However, if a Christian holds a public office that has as its duty the act of marrying people off, I think he must abide by the rules of that office and not his religious convictions. If he cannot perform all of his duties then he has the freedom to resign, but not the freedom to oppress. An out might be if he could find someone else to perform the ceremonies he cannot do himself.

I am an American and I am a Christian, what I think is great about both is that I can coexist with those whose opinions differ from mine. With the love of Christ, I hope and pray we can live in peace.

Please keep comments and discourse friendly. These are my views, I respect your right to disagree, but please respect my right for having them.

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Comments

posting elsewhere

I would really like to flesh this out and post elsewhere if people know of a venue. If you feel it is worthy and want to pub this elsewhere, feel free, but give me credit and send me a link to where it is so I can follow it.

Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)

Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life

A Christian Defense of Same-Sex Marriage

I agree with you, As for your idea of posting this else where, there are other T.G. sites as well as The O'Rielly Factor. He might post your blog and give his opinion.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Same sex marriage

I think it is inevitable that Science will one day show that same sex attraction is genetic full stop and I do not think it will be more than 10 to 20 years on the outside. Until then, our judeo/christian ethic will prevent its becoming wide spread, I think. It is going to be tough times until then.

G

I need to do some research.

I recall reading of a couple of studies done based on pheromones. I'll have to dig deep to find them again.

The setup was that men and women volunteered for the project. Some of each gender were straight and some were gay. They had nasal cannulas placed under their noses and were told to just relax. EEG sensors were attached to their heads. No external stimulation was allowed.

The premise was that pheromones can not be detected by our noses but our brain reacts to their introduction into the system. By randomly injecting either male or female pheromones through the cannulas, brain responses could be monitored and sorted by gender.

The result was that straight females and gay males responded identically to male pheromones while straight males and gay females responded identically to female pheromones.

Would this be proof of genetic sexual attraction?

Like I said, I need to do more research to see if I can uncover the source of this report. I definitely recall reading about it a long time ago, though.

Hugs,
Erica

not genetic- hormonal

I saw a study done ages ago, they found that in London the incidences of male homosexuality had an unusual pattern. For most age groups there was a fairly steady percentage, but in one small age group the numbers were wildly higher. After much examination they realized their mothers were all pregnant during the London Blitz. They then hypothesized that the stress of the blitz would cause hormonal imbalances that would affect the fetus. After checking the subject's hormones they found a higher than normal level of female hormones in their blood. They then tried treatments to restore the levels to normal, and many (not all) of the subjects orientation changed to bi- or straight, but none of them liked the change (said it didn't feel natural) and stopped the treatments, returning back to gay. High local population would cause a similar increase in stress, increasing the number of gay men, that then don't have children, causing the population to reach a balance somewhere BEFORE it would collapse from over-population. This leads me to believe that we are programed (by God or evolution) to become gay to prevent over-population. In Biblical times they most often fixed the population problem by going to war with their neighbors, which meant they needed a high male population to throw at them, which meant they needed as many children as possible to replace them, which is why birth control, and homosexuality are both illegal. It was an early form of arms race. Now nations are too big, and too intertwined to use war for population control. To say that God is against something he would have created for a good reason is stupid, and just shows how the leaders of Biblical times manipulated religion for THEIR purposes, just like many today are for today's purposes.

To Erica,

I remember reading about a study that found het gals and gay guys brains were similar as were gay gals and het guys. I think the difference noted was the thickness of the cortex or some part of it, in the "corners of the brain", but i don't remember what brain corners meant.

This and the study you site indicates, to me, that different sexual attractions are associated with differing brain structures. Twin studies show there is probably some genetic involvement with sexual attraction, but that it is not completely controlled by genes. It might be like having a fem brain in a body with male gonads, that one's brain might develop androphilic or gynophilic or in between because of excesses of one sex hormone or another, excess stress hormones or hormone mimics from foods, pollutants, etc. present at just the time when part of the brain is starting to differentiate.

To Katie,

Thanks for your essay. I think a big problem with many social issues in the USA is the idea that some religious people have that their religion is "in control" or should apply to everyone. For some Christians, if something is favored or disfavored by their interpretation of Christianity, then civil law should also favor or disfavor some practice, idea, etc. to correspond to this Christian view.

OTOH, everything I've ever read about separation of church and state by our founders, great statesmen/wimyn, or our most noted Supreme Court Justices states that the government can not tell a religion what to believe or if they can worship in a certain way, but a church or religion can not expect to have its dogma taken as civil law. I hear too many protesters/proclaimers tell me/us what God says, what the bible says, etc. I think if others of the religion are interested they can go to their church or temple and discuss these things to their hearts content. I think our law makers, however, should try to leave their religion behind (like JFK pledged to) when they go to their elected posts, trying to make laws for the city or state or for our federal government.

For example: teaching science should involve science, not "new earth" religious conservatives trying to have creationism added as a alternative to earth science, paleontology and evolution. Real humyn sexuality should be taught along with safe sex and birth control, not abstinence which has never worked for however long it's been recommended. Why should the US do so much worse than northern European countries? And, of course, if some religions want to condemn gays and lesbians, kill them, run them out of town and not let them marry, they can do what they want among themselves as long as no one is harmed. (I'm not sure about "hate speech" where someone rants against gays, then later some gays are beaten. I dislike the hate speech, but I'm not sure how to handle it, stop it, ignore it...) When it comes to laws giving government benefits, like marriage recognized by the Fed Gov, the constitution should be followed; equal protection before the law, no discrimination based on actions harming none, like gay love!

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

Bible is quite clear

The Bible is pretty solid on its stand about marriage being one man and one woman, and is pretty firm in its opposition to homosexuality.

Gen 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

And again in the new testament

Matt 19:4-6 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

1 Cor 7:1-16 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Even in your example it is always a marriage between male and female

Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)

Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life

When one considers the bible;

When one considers the bible; it should be remembered that it was not written in English and has gone through many hands for translation. Those translators will have based their translations on the presiding ways of thinking at that time and interpereted the original texts in the way that suited them, or whoever was paying for the translation.

When one considers the bible;

Worse you need to consider that the bible was not ONE BOOK written at one time to a cohesive whole, but SELECTED writings from a much larger body of writings from many authors that were felt by the Pope & the collage of cardinals of the time to be representative of what they thought religion should be, and then probably edited it to their taste.

Also all but one of your examples were old testament, and the one that wasn't STATED 'you have read'. Jesus stated that he had forefilled the old testament law, and replaced it with another 'Love one another'. This means that the inclusion of the old testament was just a history lesson 'where we came from', and to teach the 'glory and power of God' through his acts in the testament. When you talk of the will of God you need to find it in the new testament.

The bible isn't one book

Things change in the bible: things like dietary laws, rituals, all sorts of things... including marriage, or what we now call marriage. That's all I meant.

Back in old times, people practiced polygamy -- but that's no reason to practice it now.

If early Christians really did practice monogamy and marriage strictly between a man and a woman, that's no more compelling to us than the polygamy of the Old Testament.

If only

If only the general ignorant peoples/governments could seperate religious marriage and secular marriage.

Katie - I agree with you

Why not respect respect the life choices people make and let the Lord judge them? If I want to marry my someone...anyone and we're not hurting anyone else, why should it be so important to someone else what we do?

same sex marriage

I like your article but same sex marriage Has nothing to do with the bible or religion, what it has to do with is the bigots that run the government. Yea its easy to blame religion, it a good way out, the boys club runs the government plane and simple. The bible was written and edited by the same boys club and that left out such things as the gospel to Thomas. I believe all religion comes from god but also that all have been tampered with... God has no religion sex or gender God is love God is the essence of love.
Love and Hugs Hanna

Love And Hugs Hanna
((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))
Blessed Be
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Off Topic.

One thing to say about W. Churchill is that he's very quotable! He screwed up quite a bit in his career and his social policies were definitely pre-WWI. He did quite well fighting the Axis Powers in WWII, but UK people threw him out to get a leader to rebuild the country after WWII was finished.

>> I am an American. I was born in New York City and I believe that this Republic is one of the best forms of government that has ever come to pass on the face of the Earth. <<

Someone said, (I think it was Churchill), something like "democracy is a very wasteful, disorganized, frustrating form of government where it is sometimes impossible to get important things done, but we have it because it is so much better than any of the other types of government people have tried!" Anyone who knows the correct quote, please post it!!!

Katie, no offense but Kaleigh's article has to be correct. All those practices mentioned in the article are directly from that bible of yours. The verses you mention, in the translation you use, seem to indicate "1 man & 1 womyn constitute a marriage", but Kaleigh's article's facts are correct, too. This shouldn't be very surprising since the bible contradicts itself many times.

Back to your essay: It is great that you can bend your Christianity to encompass and bless same sex marriages; Congrats! I wish more conservative Christians saw things your way.

OTOH, your essay is also about the topic of same sex marriage in the USA. It is excellent that you feel the way you do, but the content of your bible or other translations and interpretations of the same work, or the contents of the Koran or other foundational religious documents from around the world does not really pertain to the subject. Marriages are allowed to happen because of state laws in the USA and Federal law gives those who are married a great amount of rights and benefits. At present Federal Law discriminates against same sex couples legally married in various states; these couples do not get any of the Federal benefits that other married couples do and that law directs other states not to recognize the ss couple's marriage.

Religious figures in the USA have the same freedom of speech that everyone else does; they can state their opinion, but taking advice from the Pope because catholics live here seems the same as taking advice from the British Queen or the Japanese Emperor because people from the UK and Japan came here and their descendants now live here. Religious teachings from anywhere in the world really should have no more effect on The Law than the thoughts of other learned people.

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

The Bible

I read all the comments about the bible. I have studied all forms of religion and esoteric studies staring in 65 when I was 10l. most people never read the bible, I have. Its really messed up and to think its the word of God well thats up to the individual person, not me i love God and i see God as gender less essence of love.
and I I live in blind faith with unconditional love. Love is the key If you love some one It just dose not matter. Now if you read the following and tell me if its not Messed up..
Incest
Deuteronomy 22:13-18 Genesis 19
Women
1 Timothy 2:11-12
New International Version (NIV)
11 A woman[a] should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man;[b] she must be quiet.
No Christmas trees
Jeremiah 10:1-25 ESV / 116 helpful votes
Hear the word that the Lord speaks to you, O house of Israel. Thus says the Lord: “Learn not the way of the nations, nor be dismayed at the signs of the heavens because the nations are dismayed at them, for the customs of the peoples are vanity. A tree from the forest is cut down and worked with an axe by the hands of a craftsman. They decorate it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so that it cannot move. Their idols are like scarecrows in a cucumber field, and they cannot speak; they have to be carried, for they cannot walk. Do not be afraid of them, for they cannot do evil, neither is it in them to do good.” ...

You have to pick and choose or you would be back to an eye for an eye. I could list pages new and old testament.
I Love the teachings of Jesus and the gospel of Thomas ... For the record I Believe Jesus was an enlightened teacher. Follow the positive trash the rest.

Follow your heart see yourselves in others with compassion
Love and Hugs Hanna

Love And Hugs Hanna
((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))
Blessed Be
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