A letter to who I was

Dear Carl,
You have served me well. Hmmm, I guess as well as you were able to. But, I'm not sure if I would want to include the times you tried to kill us. Ok, so not counting those times, you have served me well.
I would like to thank you for getting me here and finally allowing me to live my life. That was really noble of you to let me take over and live after you put us in coma for three days. But you always were noble.

I would also like to give you my sympathy. I know the road here was a difficult one. Especially how the early years of abuse, and loneliness were so overwhelming. And you need to know that none of that was in vain. I do not know the reasons that bad things happen to children and good people, but if we can learn positive lessons from what occurs in our life, then we can turn it around in the end. I now have so much compassion and understanding from those horrible things; not only am I able to give to others in similar situations, but I am finally being able to let go of the pain. So once again, you have done your job well.   It is time to allow me take away your pain, and love you for who you were.

This new year I am resolved to find a new home, with those who truly love and appreciate me. Believe it or not, people like that are really out there. I think the hardest part was learning to trust them. I ask you to not get in the way of that trust. I know that you have been hurt so many times, yet maybe it was because you settled on anyone who would give you attention. I am finding that I have to let those people go. They really were not friends, or even family for that matter; and what I was getting back was not worth the cost. The new people I am finding, love me for who I am now, without me having to do anything but be myself. Please put your past fears behind and allow me to learn to trust them and to allow myself to be loved.

So I am finally strong enough to be out on my own. I cannot promise I will not make mistakes. I can promise that I will make the best of them. Life is too wonderful not to. I need you to let me go so I can live this life to the fullest.
Thank you for everything. I am letting you go. So please, go find peace.

RIP Carl E.

Love,
Cassie Ellen