Out in my transit van this morning 65 to 70 mph gusting 80 according to local coast guard station (Mumbles head.) My van literally bouncing as the gusts clobbered it. Lo and behold a learner scooter rider overtakes me wobbling all over the place.

I turn to my son; "Look at that twat he'll be off that before ..."

And lo and behold my son lets out a howl of laughter as the twat promptly wobbles just that bit too much and slams into the kerb. Arse over tip and lands on his arse with scooter duc, duc, duccing away beside him. I slowed down to check the idiot was okay and lowered the passenger window for my son to check by asking if he was okay. Only then I realise my son if helpless with laughter.

"You daft bugger!" I manage to choke out as I try not to laugh, "he could be hurt!"

"Na not him dad; that's Dodgy Bob and he's probably nicked the scooter as well."

Only then does my son recover enough to call out.

"Oy Dodgy! You'd better get back on before the plod nicks you! If they book you for speedin' say the wind caught you!"

"F--k off Dan!"

My son Daniel wags his head and turns to me with tears in his eyes.

"He's okay dad, he can curse and shout!"

And we drive on as my son regales me with tales of Dodgy Bob's nefarious activities. I didn't ask how my son knew Dodgy Bob.