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Sometimes you find out something that happened some time ago and affected you, but you didn't know it to respond in time.
I just discovered that Janice Lynn Miller, aka J.L. Miller, a friendly, thoughtful and prolific commenter here on BCTS and also a financial supporter of the site, passed away in December 2018, just four days after her last set of posts commenting on stories here. She had more than one account over a period of years, so you might have known her under a slightly different name.
I will add Janice to our memorial box. We miss you, dear, and our tears remind us of our own mortality.
The challenge facing humankind is always how to be both at once.
Love and hugs to all,
And be sure that I do care,
Erin
Comments
I'm always sad to hear
of the passing of a kindred soul.
Need to Know Basis
Looking through the list of departed BC members . . . there are many that I had on a need to know basis.
No, that doesn't mean they were people who were only told what they absolutely needed to know because they were a security risk.
They were people who had a perspective on life that made their opinions extremely valuable. I needed to know them in order to become a better person or to simply make it through the day.
Friendships cannot be quantified. Some friendships are based on a single act that revealed a person you immediately trusted and loved. Other friendships are forged over years of kind repetitive actions. But if I were to assign a numerical value from one to one hundred for the friendships I had with those on the In Memorium list and the average number was 50, it is clear to me that Erin's similar average number would be much closer to 100.
Erin's self appointed task of monitoring the passing of our friends is bittersweet. I'm sure she finds great pleasure in remembering the gentleness of a Bob Arnold, but due to the depth of that friendship her pains of separation are beyond measurement.
Erin speaks to the reminder of mortality and that it is. But also, some of the personalities on the list were gigantic. Angel and Katie were room fillers. I never met any of them in person, yet interacted with many of them heavily so that they became a part of me.
A part of me.
To me that list is a reminder of who I am and how I became that person.
Arecee made me more tolerant. Bob taught me generosity. Maggie inspired me to encourage newer writers.
They were people I needed to know.
Of all the things Erin does for this community -- keeping the memories alive might be the most important . . . and hardest.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Some of the people in memoriam
I knew outside this site and I still miss them, so e I got to know through the site, and some I recognised as kindred spirits without knowing more than slightly. It is one of life's ironies that we don't know what we had till it's gone. This is especially true of friendships, we don't know when they will end and sometimes are unprepared for it. Enjoy them while we can, but also while they have material here read it often and keep their memories alive. Farewell, Janice Lynn you will be missed.
Angharad
Sometimes when....
another name has been added, I have felt more inauthentic and guilty. No; not all the time. Survivor's guilt? Perhaps; especially when I look at the long list of friends no longer with us. The song below only fits in some ways. I've included some lyrics that represent my feelings.
From Les Miserables,
excerpt from Empty chairs at Empty Tables
...Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone
There's a grief that can't be spoken
There's a pain goes on and on
Phantom faces at the window
Phantom shadows on the floor
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more
Oh my friends, my friends
Don't ask me what your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more
Les Miserables
Claude-Michel Schönberg (music),
Alain Boublil, Jean-Marc Natel (original French lyrics)
and Herbert Kretzmer (English lyrics).
Love, Andrea Lena