Honey I'm home ... more or less

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It's been a long since I logged into BC and I went looking for my previous posts.

How do things change??? My last post was 2 GF hitter and I'm back to being alone and hikemori to use a japanese expession. I went as stealth as possible but was more or less forst to be a voice for the T part of LGBTQI (bummer if you are the only one in about 30 people that can speak for the T part at meetings from an LGBTQI group -_- there goes the stealth at work).

One of the things that didn't change is the fact that I'm still looking for 'me'. Went from femme before and after my grs to semi boi / butch look lolz. Got a few people that think I'm pre-op FtM before I enlight them. Being mostly in the middel qua genderspectrum can suck :( .Having low selfesteem issuees and 'eating' problems away doens't help either. A wel my shrink has to earn her pay somehow.

Lynne

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Your center will find you.

I don't intend to convey to you the image that I am some sort of sage or smart girl, because I'm actually as loony as the next person. I hope that you do find your center and that you are happy. I am MtF and lived as woman for several years, but then last year in early April I tried to return to male. LOL, what a disaster, who was I kidding. People thought that I was woman trying to be man. I had my hair cut but the hairdresser decided I was not a man, and never had been, so she gave me a very short woman's cut. So, I had to get new glasses and went over to Lenscrafters to get them. The Doctor did not believe me and would not let me buy men's glasses, instead selling me androgenous frames. Yes, it was obvious.

So, I finally gave up, came to my senses and went back to living as female. So, for you, please do not worry too much. As a FtM you will appear as Male very soon if that is what you wish. Please take care not to take too much Testosterone as it is very hard on your liver and kidneys. Much peace.

Khadijah

andro <-> gyne

The physical part of doesnt wan't to go back to being male, no way no how. Otherwise Griet (shrink genderteam UZG in Belgium) wouldn't have given me green light. I don't regret going this way and I'll never will. The FtM part was a comment on the fact that being stealth you can be considered nothing else but a GG but still very male/butch. That was a comment by people would didn't understand transsexuality and the context around it. They tought that being MtF ts would mean that I would be over the top femme. Preconceptions ...

Althought I like to dress up I'm happy wearing a polo, jeans and sneakers/boots. So I fit in rather good with the lesbian crowd I hang out. Although have to say used to hang out with ...

The only thing I'm not happy with is the limitations of current science.

Welcome Back

Welcome back home and yes things do change hopefully for the better,I wish you luck in finding yourself---HUGS & KISSES RICHIE2