I need some time off

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I'm stressed out by things that have happened back stage this past week. I need some time off and Piper's real life is kind of nightmarish lately so I hate to dump any more responsibility on her. My other assistants are really not experienced enough to do what I do here.

I'm going to be gone to the San Diego Comicon from Wednesday the 11th to Sunday the 15th. I'm thinking of shutting the site down while I'm gone or maybe just Thursday to Saturday since I'll be able to work on it Wednesday and Sunday. But really, the place would have burned down if I had been gone three days this weekend.

If I really felt that a spirit of amiability and tolerance would prevail in mid-month, I'd plan on doing a little work in the evenings while I'm gone and not worry that much about it. People have been attacked for posting stories and for not posting stories. Friday, yesterday and this morning really proved to me that even underneath surface appearances of respect and friendship lurk hatred, intolerance and bigotry against anyone that can be identified as different.

I'm very sad today. Three days without BC isn't going to kill anyone, and I think I do need the break. I haven't made up my mind though.

Hugs to all,
And yes, I mean that, even to the people who have annoyed me a lot, hugs,
Erin

Comments

You deserve a vacation for

You deserve a vacation for all the work you put in here. So, I say go ahead and have fun at Comicon.

If you are worried about moderation during your time off, could the site be locked down as read only (no new stories and no new comments) instead of being taken down entirely?

Thank you for bringing us this great site.

--Brandon Young

Use your best judgement Erin

But first and foremost this is YOUR site.

YOU must come first.

John in Wauwatosa

Hum? Could the stories still be accessable and simply all comments, PMs and postings be turned off? Just a thought.

John in Wauwatosa

I can't understand

This should be a friendly site and I can't understand the mentality of those who insist on anti-social behavior.

By all means take some time off - you've earned it. It's a shame, though, that the readership can't all be trusted to behave themselves in your absence.

We're all adults, aren't we? Surely petty squabbles have no place on BCTS.

S.

What The Hell Is Going On?

littlerocksilver's picture

In my line of business I come across many businesses that use a three strikes and you're out philosophy. Strike one, you are banned for a day; strike three and you're banned for a week, strike three and you are shrouded for a minimum of a year or more. Some people don't take a hint. Erin, this is your kingdom, you rule. Whatever you say goes. That is it - end of argument.

Portia

I've moderated and administrated

Daniela Wolfe's picture

I've moderated and co-administrated forums before and that was generally the system we used although the third strike was usually a lifetime ban.

Running a small forum can be stressful at times, I can only imagine how stressful it can be to run a site the size of BCTS.

I think shutting the sight down may be a good idea, if it prevents things from going nuclear hereabouts.


Have delightfully devious day,

Do what you have to do

I believe that your 'job' is an unpaid position right? So that means that none us can really object.

I'm sorry that it's necessary that we require a referee, but if you don't have someone who can stand in then you need to do what you have to do. I'm sure that I am not the only one who will miss BCTS if you need to shut-down while you are gone.

Hope that you are able to recharge while you're gone.

Um... What exactly happened?

Um... What exactly happened? You're obviously quite good in removing hostility as I haven't seen any, but it would be kind of nice to know what is going on.

If you're on vacation, I'd suggest you post a message on top and just deactivate new comments and posting of new stories.

However, thank you for all your work, you definitly deserve a vacation,

Beyogi

Go ahead and take a break.

Really, You don't owe us anything. You don't need to sacrifice your sanity for us.

I like the idea of making the site read-only. An idea that would require more preparation would be to make the site read-only for guests and known troublemakers. Either that, or only allow those who have proven to be trustworthy to post. That is, active members who have never caused trouble.

Have a fun time at ComicCon.

I would be bummed,

But I vote Aye. Everyone needs a vacation. Just put a place marker telling everyone when you will be back up.

We tend to be more open in our views, but everyone here is human, with our own bags of demons and history. I know I have buttons, ya'll can't push them because you don't know what they are. But they are there. And everyone has their own.

Just a thought though, could you leave the site open where the stories could be read but no posts (or submissions) made? It would allow me to catch up a little, if nothing else. :D

I agree..

you certainly are entitled to a vacation. If you have to shut down the site, then do it. I will of course suffer from withdrawal but I'll get over it. On the other hand perhaps you can allow stories to be posted but not allow comments. Whatever you do we'll deal with it. Have a great vacation and thanks for all the hard work.

Helpers

erin's picture

Sephrena, and others, can help but the stuff that has been going on lately, I don't want to dump on anyone.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

You need to take care of yourself ...

... we will survive somehow. I am saddened that we cannot get along. We are a small community, this should not be difficult, but human nature is what it is .... Please do not burn yourself out, or worse yet ... punge into depression or darkness. Take the time off, we will still be here when you turn the site back on .... You need to recharge yourself.

Love you

Kendra Manderscheid

(One step at a time is working)

Take a Break

Erin,

I don't know what's firing up in the background, since I'm only here as time permits. I'm confident you've been as patient as any two people trying to keep the peace.

Take a break. Rest, relax, and recouperate. Have FUN at Comicon.

You're right that it won't kill anyone to have this place shuttered for a bit, and perhaps it will help put things in clearer perspective.

Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)

--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.

I admit

I would miss constantly checking if my favorite stories had posted, but you have to take care of yourself. Putting away your worries and going out and having some fun is a very important part of that. Been some big news about good stuff coming to Comic Con so you should have a great time. Do what you have to do! :)

hugs
Grover

Enjoy your break

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

Whatever you decide to do Erin I hope you will enjoy your time at SDCC! :-) There are some interesting guests this year looking at the attendees list.



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Maybe go to read-only mode?

I'm sorry to hear that things have been going so badly.

Like others have said, take whatever time you need; you deserve a stress-free vacation. i rather like the suggestion of putting the site in read-only mode while you're gone, if that's easy to do.

Enjoy the Con.

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

As others have said, do what you need to.

Boy howdy, though, without BC up, I won't have any reason to be online! You know what that means, right?

Writing stories to post when it is!

Or, you know, wasting my time playing computer games. Whatever.

But seriously, whatever you do, just know that we'll all support you, and we'll all be here ready to post again when you get back.

Best of luck, and have fun at Comicon!

Melanie E.

I vote with shutting off comments for a while

If that is what is needed so be it. Sorry I am not optimistic about the maturity of people to leave any forum alone.

I do not see the need for turning off posting of stories though.

Kim

Wouldn't be as easy as it sounds

erin's picture

But I am leaning toward maybe just turning off blogs and forums while I'm gone. Less maintenance and I can probably keep up with story posts and policing story comments with a little help.

Funny how just saying this stuff in this blog helped me not feel quite so over-burdened. Lots of folks, even many here, have a lot more stress than I do.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

I do keep an eye on things

but I just can't be sitting here 24/7 to police the site for the comments and posted material to ensure they are not hatred attacks or religious promotion/defamation. I catch what I can and check often, but I do have real life issues, and I have cut back from what I had been doing in the past because of my health. Everyone has problems in their life and some have so much on their plate they lose focus when they get here to BigCloset and take it out on others. We, and I mean those of us who are TGIBL, who historically take the bottom of the barrel in terms of abuse and the butt of jokes on late night talk shows and behind our backs (even the big nosed,long jawed, gray haired guy does that ), should be more tolerant of others just like ourselves who are just as sensitive to the same issues as we ourselves are. We should show more restraint and be more respectful to one another. That will make the world go round much smoother and make BigCloset a great place to visit.

Erin has a life to live, as does Piper, myself, and the others whom work this site. If you have a lot of anger and are thinking of logging in on here, go outside, watch TV, play an online game or something to relieve the stress first before visiting here. And, if an author writes stuff you don't happen to like, just don't read the material you don't like. Or, if you do, restrain yourself from tearing into the author for writing it so. If you do wish to comment about the material, and it's something that fired you up to speak negatively as a whole, you can write a private mail send to the author, but be mindful of how you write it and what it's purpose is to achieve! Don't turn a critique of story into an attack on the author. That is people's main problem here on this site.

If there is an attack, the sender of comment will be dealt with appropriately. If you think there is an issue with the material, forward your say in a private send about it to Erin or Piper. But don't post or harass an author or commenter to vilify them on this site publicly. That is a big no no!

By being considerate and nice to others on our site, which I like to think of as home, then that will be a big incentive to keep others coming back for more and sticking around. ^^ But, if it turns into a hateful cesspool, then everyone will leave and the story writing will dry up.

Remember, almost all of this is entirely free entertainment for you.

Be constructive and thoughtful about what you want to say before you say it.
 
 
Sephrena

Thanks, Sephrena

erin's picture

Sephy covered the ground pretty good. :) One thing to add.

When people think about how people like themselves want to be treated, they should always plan to extend that thoughtfulness to people they DON'T consider to be like themselves. One of the big problems in comments here is a "more T* than you" attitude. Not helpful, no one has a monopoly on deciding who has the official line on who is or is not whatever.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Just do it

The advertising motto seems useful here as well.

We benefit from your gracious generosity in making this site available, and all your hard work behind the scenes keeping our many egos in check.

If you're needing time to yourself with not having to worry about things going wrong here, by all means, shut it down for a few days. I'm amazed that in my years here, you have only done so a couple of times, and only for a few hours each time.

We're still here, we'll be here when you get back. Go and enjoy yourself.

Hearing from the Silent Majority

terrynaut's picture

Maybe you just need to hear from more of the silent majority. I'd day most of us here are very tolerant and understanding. It's always a cranky few who add too much spice to the mix.

I hope you decide to go with just shutting down blogs and forums. I know that's a bit selfish but I really need my story fixes. Story withdrawal is a terrible thing. ;)

Take care and know you have my support whatever you decide.

Hugs

- Terry

You're right there

erin's picture

And something many may not be aware of, it's often the people who are most dedicated to the site who cause me problems. Having one's own emotions involved makes it hard to see that one's personal aims may not be best for the community.

A lifetime of dealing with my own temper has taught me to think twice then let it rest and think again. Then put off acting till the heat is off of the emotion at least.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Well deserved time off

Erin,

As everyone has stated you certainly deserve to have some time off to relax and enjoy yourself. It may be difficult but I'm sure we can all survive for a few days without our daily dose of BCTS.

My only concern is what will poor Angharad do with all that time off from writing her daily posting? Perhaps watch some more of the TDF, get some more time in riding her bike or perhaps be able to work on her other stories :)

Seriously, we are all blessed for what you do and I, as well as many others I'm sure, love you to pieces for it.

Hugs, Sarah Ann

Being protective.

I can't see checking on this site once while you are gone as a vacation. Rest, shut the bitch off.

Shut it down.

Your well being is more important than this site for three days.

Just saying.

Gwendolyn

captainless ship

We can live without the Closet for a week. Take a sabbatical if you need one, ad tell all the weirdos at the con that all the weirdos on the web say hi.

Take a break

Although it seems like conceding to the asocial, the three-day shutdown looks like the best idea to me.

I have this theory - a version of Pareto - that in any cohort defined by a human interaction, about 5% of the population of that cohort fouls things up for the other 95%. Taken over all the intersecting cohorts we each occupy in our own way, 80% of our buggeration comes from 20% of those in the sum total of our cohorts. Like the poor, the asocial are always with us.

I say stand firm. Take away their sweeties (in this case the anonymous trolling space) for a while. If story-posting has to be put on hold, think of the treats we will have when the site is re-opened. I would suggest that you should not put a lot of effort into working against the clock trying to lock down parts of the site, since that risks rapidly escalating your frustration levels (and Piper's workload?) even more. Simply take a break.

My greatest concern with a shutdown would be that sometimes the site is the closest thing to a lifeline that someone has - and I am sure that Pareto also applies to the PM traffic related to that, when compared to what we actually see about it in blogs. FWIW I am ready to offer a sympathetic ear at a dedicated address during a shutdown here.

Xi

Shut the site down so you don't have to worry...

...about it Erin. If it's up and running, like any mother, you'd always be worried about it while you are gone.

I vote to shut her down while you are gone.

I just feel a few of the bad elements would take advantage knowing you were gone for those days and raise hell enough to fulfil their ultimate goal. That goal is to have this site shut down completely and forever.

Huggles Mom and have a great mimi-vacation!

Angel

"Be Your-Self, So Easy to Say, So Hard to Live!"

Oddly

erin's picture

It's frequently the people who love the site and want to protect it from what they see as pollution that cause me the most grief. The actual ill-wishers and spammers are easily and quickly dealt with. Misguided friends take a lot of time and careful handling.

But that's why I get the big bucks! :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

No stress is a good thing...

...and I'm behind enough on all the stories I'm reading to not have great anxiety if I'm not checking every hour for updates. *reminds self to back up print versions of stories, for to read offline* Do what you need to do to relax, okay? ^^; Something as big and noisy as SDCC doesn't sound like it'd de-stress me, but there you go. ^__^ Enjoy! Please to share any interesting bits either via social feeds, or when you get back?

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

And if it is good

for you as I suspect it will be, maybe it can be an annual event. To repeat myself, everyone deserves a vacation.

If it were practical I would set the board to read only, but if it took any effort at all I would not worry about it. Just shut er down.