For the past few days I have been helping out a very prominent member of the transgender community get her autobiography together and make it something people would want to read. It is amazing how much admiration I have for this person and the service that they did, but at the same time there is a sadness because I can feel the pain that they feel and see how certain people have taken advantage of her or have not accepted her.

A person who is a true hero in every sense of the word should not have to be subjugated to the biases of people. She more than paid her dues and it bothers me that those close to her haven't accepted her for who she was. What's more, it really gets my panties in a knot when people downright attack her on message boards and facebook.

I understand the there are people who don't like me. I see the one star reviews because I am what I am and people find that offensive (got another one on Wrestling Against Myself). I don't deserve peoples admiration, I haven't done anything to. I am a person of limited talent trying to tell stories and make a buck or two. That's not going to impress anybody.

But now I have this project. This autobiography. My name may never appear on it, I might not get an ounce of credit, and I don't really care. It's beyond my silly ego and pride. This has the makings of being a NYT best seller, and that is not me blowing smoke up anyone's skirt. This is stretching me. I have access to some information, but not all and I am trying to point out what information needs to be in the book. Right now we got 40k words. (Which ain't bad for 3 days worth of work) and I think we can be done Friday. Then it is up to her to run with it.

But as I see this extraordinary life unfold on the paper before me and see a list of accomplishments that I will never be able to obtain, nor would have imagined one person alone could, I am taking stock in my life. What am I doing to make life better for my fellow transgender brothers and sisters? Are the stories I write enough? I doubt all ever gain influence as a writer, or a person to make much of a change. That bothers me. I need to do more, but I need to do a lot of things and don't. Where do I go from here? This book is going to be out and the person will be on to bigger and better things. But I have been inspired to be more, I just don't know what that more is. What is in me? How do I leave my mark on history? When you look at someone who is so like you but had a more stable upbringing, you ask yourself "What if?" But what if doesn't change what is? And what is isn't exactly what I want to be, at least not yet. I need direction, so I write this message to see if there are suggestions. I know there are some that don't like me who will roll their eyes. I apologize that I offend you. But I need to be better, as a person, as a writer, and as a leader, but how?

--End Message--