Struggling with massive body index

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I've grown an inch and a quarter ! Keeping my weight down is very serious business because the docs tell me that when the pain gets intolerable, they will put in Herrington Rods. Sure there have probably been less invasive advancements in Medicine. I recently heard of plastic Vertebra. I still am not attracted to the surgery theatre. This return to my old height is a very good sign for me.

Since I got serious about transitioning about 3 years ago, my body has literally blown up like a balloooooooon. I went from a svelt 155 lbs to 194lbs in about 18 months. Well, that was adequately terrorizing for me and for a long time I kept it below normal. I was still peppy and had lots of energy. But, as the rest of you may have experienced, with the gonadectomy, and the use of Celexa, Welbutrin, Estrodial, and Trazidone, my weight was uncontrollable. At the rate I was gaining, I would have been in the low 200's by years end. When I realized that, I threw my first bonifide "fit". Before I'd finish my life sitting in a chair, disabled, well ..................

I had been a very placid and obedient mental health patient and I must admitt that they literally, no bullshit, saved my life. I was literally done. I was recently told that they considered giving me a home in the pink house, but being short of funds, let me live on my own.

Having had a "good outcome", and recently started a supervised reduction in drugs. I notice that being off Celexa and on a greatly reduced amount of Welbutrin, it takes just a little effort to reduce my weight. I am down 7 lbs.

I am excited and very grateful.

Merry Christmas

Gwen Brown

Comments

Well done girl.

Angharad's picture

May you lose a bit more yet and keep it off.

congrats,

Angharad.

Angharad

You lost height?

Blimey! Wish I could do that. Get it down to about five eight would be nice. At six three or four, I'm out of range for so much - not to mention the hands and feet, would they shrink too?

As for losing weight, I really wish I could do better. I have a drum kit that I throw myself at every now and again and I must admit, since we decided to up sticks (all of them not just the ones for the drums!) and move to France, I have found myself with less inclination to beat the living daylights out of them, despite the experience being so energetic and fun.

We have one of those step machines too, but that's still looking like it has just been taken out of the box. I was doing so well too.

So kudos to you for losing the weight and try to keep it up.

As for me, at 238 lbs or thereabouts and most of it being round the middle, I get a C-. Must try harder...

Nick

Dear Gwen,

I can really relate to what you're going thru'. My memory is getting bad, but I remember that some tricyclic AD made me extremely hungry during the mid '80s. I can't remember how much I gained, but I think I topped out around 180. I was 6' 0". I switched to Prozac as soon as it was available and lost 30 lbs in 18 months. I really got back into dressing and ended up transitioning. The Prozac really stopped my depression for about 4 yrs.

Whatever you do try to stay off antipsychotics. I was on Risperdal for maybe 2 years around 2001. It made some wimyn at our clinic gain huge amounts of weight, but didn't effect me too much. I maybe gained 15 lbs. I just have major depression, but sometimes the antipsychotics just made me feel a little happier and calmer. I was off them for a few years then felt the need again. I tried 2 or 3 that gave me bad side effects, then I tried Abilify. I was still a little overweight at 180, but I gained 40 lbs on the Abilify in a year. I had tried to stop taking it after 6 months. Going off it made me feel bad; I did lower the dose by half, but kept gaining weight. After a year I was able to stop and lost 60 lbs during the next year. I was bicycling a lot, like I built up to 200 miles a week. 2 years later, I haven't bicycled as much, had various problems and I seem stuck at 168 with less muscle then 5 or 10 years ago and sort of a pot belly. I lost an inch of height post-op. I guess I'm not too badly off for a 58 YO fairly butch dyke.

Good luck with controlling your weight and putting up with all the crummy side effects of the psych drugs. After you determine that your body isn't going to get any more feminine (breast growth stops, etc.) you can probably cut down on your estrogen and you won't feel as hungry.

Goddess Bless, stay strong.
Love,
Renee

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee