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So last night, at 10:55PM, while I was holding my Dad's hand, he passed away. He had been gasping for breath all day. I arrived from Spokane at about 5. Mom tells me she thinks he was waiting for me to arrive before he stopped fighting.
I sobbed several times as I talked to him. He wasn't responsive in a normal way, but as I spoke, his breathing became easier.
My mom, aunt, and sister were exhausted, as they'd been there round the clock, so mom and Sherry (my sister) dozed off, and I held Dad's hand, and stroked his head, so he knew I was there. His breathing settled down, until he stopped, and I couldn't find a heartbeat.
I haven't cried since he died, but writing this, coming close.
I spent all day working with Sherry on paperwork and preparing the stuff for the national cemetery in Scottsdale. He was a 20 year veteran in the USAF. This is hard, but he died completely peacefully.
Comments
My condoleances
He died completely peacefully.
Hugs and Love tmf
Bittersweet
Cherish knowing you were with him at the end and that he passed peacefully. He knew you were there and I am sure it made it easier for him.
Condolences, love and hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Sad Day
Sorry for Ur Loss Sister Rose
Loss of a loved one.
My condolences and sympathies for you. Even some internet {{{{{HUGS}}}}}.
It's never easy to lose someone close to you. My heart goes out to you, and if you can't cry, well, I am. You were there for him and made his final moments less distressing. Remember all the good times and keep them in your heart.
Leona
- Leona
All the hugs
All the hugs and my condolences. <3
Hugs and love
And if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me hon.
Melanie E.
Take Comfort
Take comfort from the fact that you were there , and that your Dad knew it. As much as any passing can be, it was a peaceful one.
Hugs Lucy xx
"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."
Like My Mother
I arrived at her bedside and held her hand. She looked at me and died five minutes after I got there. I swear she was just waiting for me to come.
I was told by a nurse that
I was told by a nurse that hearing is one of the last senses to go.
I'm sure he knew you were there. It will hit you over the next few weeks, sometimes when you least expect it. Let the tears come. We all do our grieving differentially. When my father died, Most of mine was in private or in the car. The male part of me is still conditioned not to show "weakness" . I hate that, but a lifetime of learned behaviour is hard to overcome.
Best wishes to you, your mum and sister.
Leeanna
So Sorry
That hole in your heart will always be there. For a time it will be agony. In a while, you'll recognize it as a symbol of love.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
So Sorry
I held my Moms hand as she passed , Dad died all alone Hospital never called us to this day I feel bad he was alone
Have good memories HUGS
Condolences
Even at this sad moment in your life, I am so glad for you that you could be at his side for the end. It will ultimately help you to gain closure in the process of grief.
Jessica
So terribly sorry for your loss
Like the rain the tears will come; for me, it took 5 days and a reminder of "Dad will... would have liked that bad pun" and it hit me (and still does over 3 years later). Let them come when they may, it helps wash the pain away. Lots of love and hugs (and maybe more than a few tear-filled memories),
Diana
Thank you all for the well
Thank you all for the well wishes, hugs, and prayers. It is all appreciated.
Hugs!
Rosemary
So very sorry ...
I know words can't help much ...
All the things I'm grateful for ... I toss those hugs 'out into the ether'. Grab all you need ...
---
May all beings be happy,
May all beings be healthy,
May all beings be free of pain, of fear ...
And may all beings be Loved, in this World, and in the Next.
It's never easy
My prayers go out to you and your family for comfort and strength during this time. Grief takes time. Don't be hard on yourself if you find yourself at times overwhelmed and unable cope for a while. Over the years the pain will lesson, but I doubt it will ever go away completely.
It's been thirty years since my dad passed and still there are times when I miss being able to call him and run a problem by him just to glean a bit from his wisdom and vast knowledge of how things work.
BTW, you may not have yet cried, but I'm taking care of that for you as I type.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Thank you all for your hugs,
Thank you all for your hugs, well wishes, and prayers. It's very hard, but I'm staying till next Friday with my mom, helping out on everything.
Last night we got hit with a storm that damaged some things, but already got the calls in for repairs so we're doing alright.
Hugs!
Rosemary