And now I am all alone in this world

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I was born on January 22nd 1975, the first and only son of Keith and Vivian Leonard. I was named after my father and the connection with him pretty much ended there. From what I pieced together, he left when I was 6months old. I think the very next day my mother decided that she didn't want to stick around either. So there I was, 6 months old and unwanted. Maybe not completely unwanted, because there was Aunt Rosalie, there was always Aunt Roe. She took me in and raised me the best she could. When her husband got up and left us, we took on life together. Growing up I had a speech problem, she made sure I got into the best speech program that the New York City school system could provide.

When I was 7 my mother got remarried and decided that she wanted me back so we could be a real family. Though I am sure it broke my Aunt's heart, she let me go with them because that is what I said I wanted (my mom knew how to manipulate a 7 year old, congrats mom). When it was discovered that my step father was abusing me, my aunt went to war, had the police come to where we were living (legally she never did lose custody of me) and I was back in safety, because there was Aunt Rosalie, there was always Aunt Roe.

Life had not been kind to me. I had a childhood riddled with abuse, an adulthood trying to come to terms with that abuse, legal troubles that stemmed from things out of my control and a life that was always crumbling around me and that I was always rebuilding. But through it all, whenever I had a need there was my Aunt Rosalie there to bail me out, there was always Aunt Roe. She may never have understood my gender issues, she just figured I was gay, but she loved me unconditionally and tried her best to be supportive.

My aunt had spent years fighting various ailments. and now my mother is going to the hospital to remove my Aunt Rosalie from life support. In my life there had always been a constant, there was always Aunt Roe, and now that is coming to an end and I will face this world alone. I am sad and I am crying. I knew this day would someday come, but what am I going to do now. I love my aunt and this is going to hurt for a very long time.

I was born Keith Lee Leonard Jr., but I will always be Aunt Roe's child and she stuck by me for better or worse, for that I will always love her.

Comments

I'm So Sorry To Hear That

jengrl's picture

PICT0013_1_0.jpg I wish I was there to give you a hug right now.I am sending virtual hugs to you. People who really love us unconditionally are a real treasure in our lives and it really hurts when we have to say goodbye to them. I guess that you can take comfort in knowing that she isn't going to suffer anymore. You might be alone in the physical sense, but you have so many sisters and brothers from all over the world right here. When you need to talk about anything just drop us a PM okay?

Hugs,

Jen

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Hugs, Katie

erin's picture

I hope you can find someone there to talk to because I can't reach you for a real hug.

It always hurts when we lose someone close to our heart and there's nothing anyone else can do to lessen the pain, just perhaps help you deal with it.

Hore hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Sad and ironic

Sad and ironic that it would be your mother to pull the plug on you once more.

it is done

At 11:30 my aunt passed away peacefully. This is what I posted on her facebook page.

I will miss you more than words can ever say. I will always be your child, and the love I have for you has no end. But there are no good-byes, I will see you when I come home. Rest in peace.

K.T. Leone

My fiction feels more real than reality

Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)

Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life

Huggs to you

I hope that across the miles you feel the warmth and hugs from all of us to you.

Baruch Dayan Emet - Blessed Is the True Judge

RAMI

Dear LittleKatie:

Baruch Dayan Emet - Blessed Is the True Judge. May the Soul of Aunt Rosalie be in the hands of her creator and may She Rest In Peace.

Even though you did not receive the love and support you deserved from your birth parents, your true Mother loved you completely. Keep Aunt Roe in your mind and heart and she will never be far away. When you are troubled think about how she would have helped you and that help will be close at hand.

RAMI

RAMI

hugs

my heart goes out to you.
robert

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I am saddened and sorry for your loss

You were blessed with unconditional love. What a wonderful thing to have had.

I am sorry for your loss. Time will help some but you will always miss her.

I wish you my best.

fregen

MY HEART IS BREAKING

My heart is breaking for you as I know the hurt of losing loved ones , nothing more that I can say other than you always have people who love you here a BCTS even if we are not there to HUG you in person . I am sitting here and crying for you HUGS & KISES -- -- LOVE RICHIE2

I am so sorry...

Andrea Lena's picture

....your words bring tears to my eyes; to lose someone so dear who held you in her heart for so long is so sad. My prayers for you in your loss.


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Not alone

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I wish I could give you a real hug, but a virtual hug is all I can do. It appears that the world has lost one of the truly loving people today in your Aunt Roe, and my thoughts are with you.

And while you may be physically alone, you are not alone. We may be scattered all over this world, but we are together, we laugh together, we cry together. We share good times, and bad times. We will do our best to be there for you.

Big hugs, Valentine.

Compassion and Prayers for you

I have never been close to my birth family, although I have six siblings. I was the odd duck and abused by my mom and grand parents.
For a long time I had no one to turn to, seems that the reasoning was "I had it coming" I joined the military to die but found a home that require me to be all they thought I should be.
I have a suuportive family I chose to be around me. I get comfort, I get chastised and I get the one thing I never had is Love.
I can understand you being put out in the cold, but you have many people here that care for you and support you as well as understand your Gender Dysphoria.
I teach a class that part of it is about how when we are abused and shunned we tend to find friends that are more like family.
I truly believe you have those same sort of friends here, you can PM me if you would like. I can always use another friend, I may not be rich in money but I really feel I am very rich in friends.
Jill

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

My condolences to you

My condolences to you Katie. I am sending you my sentiments in this time of loss. It is allways difficult to lose a dear person close to our hearts. I sincerely hope you will be able to find a very special person close to your age who is willing and able to share a life with you.

Jessica

Katie

One can never truly express the depths of our emotions adequately through an email or comment online, but i hope you know that you have supporters throughout this community that care about you and do feel the pain of your loss... i can only imagine what it must be like for you or some of the others i have 'met' here or communicated with... i have been a coward for most of this earthly incarnation, hiding the truth from myself and my family and friends... i was safe, but alone. but here we... you, i all of us are never truly alone... all one maybe... please accept my heartfelt condolences and my offer of hugs whenever you want them and a shoulder whenever you need.
Big huge not alone hugs,
Diana

You had someone.

Someone who loved you and someone you could love. The loneliness that comes with such a person's passing is a loneliness most of us come to face sooner or later.

All I can say is try and be strong but when the tears come, let them fall. You cannot hold them and to try will only hurt more.

Good luck and take each day now as it comes. I can only offer you hugs by email but hold on in there. Someday you might find another who can partly fill Aunt Roe's place, that search alone can sometimes give the strength to carry on.

XZXX.

Beverly.

bev_1.jpg

I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry for your loss. You were truly blessed by having someone who loves you unconditionally. Your dear Aunt will always be with you. Though not physically she will live on in your memories and the love she gave to you. That will never end. Love is eternal.

May your heart and soul find comfort. Know that you really aren't alone so long as you hold onto the love she gave. Know too that you have friends here.

Connie