Sadness this Christmas. RIP Wren

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It is with deep sadness and regret that I have to inform the Big Closet community that we lost another one of our members. I have just been informed that Wren Phoenix has passed away. I know she had been sick for quite some time with heart problems, but was eager to get back into the swing of things.

You will be missed, my friend.

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RIP Wren,

you will be remembered, here.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

That is sad news, my

That is sad news, my condolences to her friends and family.

Big hugs

Lizzie :(

Yule

Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p

When?

Wendy Jean's picture

I have finished crying, for now. I pray Wren is better now, and is the person she always saw herself to be, not the damaged husk she was trapped in. I firmly believe death is not the end, and we cry for ourselves, not the ones we've lost truly.

I know not everyone believes as I do, but it works for me.

Wendy

Goodnight Wren.

See you sometime after death possibly, if there is life after death that is.

We talked on Facebook more than BC but either way I'll miss you.

X

Bevs.

bev_1.jpg

RIP Wren

Oh, dear, that is such sad news. My condolences to her family and friends, both here at BCTS and in the outside world. She is now at peace and free of pain and the trials of life. RIP Wren.

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

The real you...

Andrea Lena's picture

...an excerpt from Dream by Wren Phoenix.

Finally, David turned and saw him. He took off his headphones, and waited for the worst.

They stared at each other for some time. Neither moved, or said a word. David was overjoyed to see that Jesse did not seem angry, but still, he was so afraid to say anything that might cause a scene. When Jesse finally spoke, it was quiet, but it had been silent for so long that it was quite clear.

“How did you know?”

“A dream. It was so clear and intense that I could not get it out of my mind. I had to paint it, there was no other choice.”

“I do love you. God help me, I do.”

David almost passed out. He had dreamed of hearing those words.

“I love you so much it hurts, Jesse. Will you let me help you? I want you to be the real you, the way YOU want to be.”

“The way we should be? Yes, I will.”

It hadn’t been easy, or quick, but eventually the two of them stood together on the hill. She touched his face, with absolute love in her eyes, and said what they had waited for.

“I do.”

I had already begun to cry before I found this, but I wanted to remember her for who she was; that beautiful woman who touched my heart with her writing and her encouragement. I do hope everyone that knew her got to know Wren, you know? To be seen and treasured for who she was and how she saw herself. Too soon.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

my thoughts

and prayers go out to her family. I'll miss reading her stories, since I never even exchanged an email with her.

May the creator take her soul

and cradle it in love. May Wren truly be the person she always was inside and find peace and rest.
My condolences and thoughts are with her family,
Diana

I'm just so shocked.

She used to PM me with a lot of good advice. I felt like she was someone i could talk to.

I just know she's in a better place...

Peace!
Cindilee

Vaya con dios mi hermana.

Vaya con dios mi hermana.


I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Crying

NNNNOOOO!!!!Man I'm going to miss her so much I love her Stories "Wild Magic" & "A Familiar Experience: A DarkRealms Tale" so much & now we will never get to talk to her or read her stories anymore.****Crying****I am going to miss her ssssoooo much!!!!R.I.P. Dear Big Sister,May u come back one day as ur true self.I send my deepest wishes to her family.She was a Great Big Sister & Friend.Sleep Well Big Sister Wren Phoenix,May U Find Peace & Happiness Where U Are Now!?!?!?!?

Signed Ur Little Sister Kagome

We have to enjoy each other while we can

Sweet Girl. Nothing is forever. That is why I encourage us to know each other and not closet ourselves away. Even BigCloset TopShelf may not be here forever. I will keep it here for as long as I am alive if I have to sacrifice all of my disability check to do so.

But my point is, know one another and love them for their differences. Live life, don't be depressed. Have the courage to come out and be who you are and be that person! Live it, don't dream it.

Life is too short to stay depressed and miss out on it.

The only thing you can take with you when you go are the treasured memories you made.

Sephrena

anime-child.jpg

So Sad

terrynaut's picture

I heard she was sick but I didn't realize she was that sick. I'm very saddened to hear that she passed away. I didn't know her that well but what I did know about her, I liked.

Rest in peace, Wren.

- Terry

Horrible and sad news!

Elsbeth's picture

That's heartbreaking, my condolences to her family. I so loved her stories and she was a pleasure to talk to.

May the blessing of the rain be on you—
the soft sweet rain.
May it fall upon your spirit
so that all the little flowers may spring up,
and shed their sweetness on the air.
May the blessing of the great rains be on you,
may they beat upon your spirit
and wash it fair and clean,
and leave there many a shining pool
where the blue of heaven shines,
and sometimes a star.

Oh Goddess
There is great sadness
A cherished one has gone

Elsbeth

Is fearr Gaeilge briste, ná Béarla clíste.

Broken Irish is better than clever English.

A Good Soul Gone Home

Although I didn't know her personally, I always enjoyed her stories and the advice she gave to people was always good. She was thoughtful and insightful, a good soul.

Tears are for those she left behind,
she will be missed by us all.
Joy is for the peace she has found at last,
for her true self is the expression of the inner beauty she displayed.
She is now beyond our reach, but not beyond our thoughts,
she is now in Paradise, living as she aught.

May the Divine Creator* of all that is watch over us all, in this life and the next. May their peace be upon each of us, and all those who loved and cared for her. May they comfort and guide Wren and all who have gone before us. We will join you, each in our own time.

(*I believe the Divine Creator to be the Holy Trinity: Father, Mother/Holy Spirit, and Son/Word made flesh. And nothing in life, nor even death, can separate us from their love.)

I will miss you, Wren Phoenix. I will miss your stories, your advise, and most of all the expression of you.

Mark <3

R I P

Such a great writer , she was so looking foward to completing Wild magic and put out a chapter earlier this month .
She is no longer in pain and heart pain is very real and we here at BCTS have so heart pain at her loss.

HUGS in the after life may you be reborn as the person you where supposed to be good luck in heaven WREN say hello to Bob for us.
:-( Richie2

I didn't know Wren well

erin's picture

But I know she touched many here and most likely elsewhere in her life. She seemed to be a very sweet person, gentle and kind.

I've added her name to the memorial in the bottom right corner of the front page. The list get longer and longer of people we will miss. Goodbye, Wren.

Hugs to all,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

You will be greatly missed Wren.

A bright light of love is absent from all our worlds.

Heartfelt condolences to Wren's family from my family.

Abby, Cleigh and Mary

Battery.jpg

Damn it, not another one of the BC familiy died?

Poor Wren.

Guess her stories here will never get finished.

A pity as they showed us the person she could have been if not for the prison of her body.

Hey, can somebody talk to the multiverse and tell it to lay off for a while?

We are losing too many decent souls of late.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Wren finding the unexpected

Wren represents and catches in story to find beauty and joy contrary to many of our experiences, Unexpected Attractions like the wren that can light close to the ground or dance in the air so Wren has found a place within each of us. Tear yes, joy even more for having been touched by Wren.

Hugs with damp tears,
JessieC

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

Hello Everyone,I am Jessica,

Hello Everyone,

I am Jessica, I was Wren's best friend. Thank you for all of your kind words, and please forgive me if I refer to Wren as "him" "Ron" or "Bear" ( that was a self bestowed nick name from back when he was in high school, and it stuck with him thru out life )

I am 22 years younger than Bear, but we attended the same college for people with disabilities. I had a bad knee and Bear had problems with diabetes. From the moment I met Bear, we instantly became friends. We would go nights without sleep, just talking away in the Dorm. Ignoring the dorm curfew rules several times, we would sit in each others rooms all night or in the public areas just laughing and joking. Ron had been given the nick name Bear because he was a big guy. 6'3 and husky and when he wrapped his arms around you, it was like getting a hug from a Bear. And it was one of the most comforting, loving, hugs you would ever receive in your life. I think there was only one time he ever raised his voice to me, and that was because I was hysterical about something that my now Ex (his room mate at the time) had done to me. When he got loud, you didn't argue with him, you just kinda looked up at him and blinked. lolol

After months together at school Bear had to have part of his foot amputated thanks to the stupidity of his doctor, and he left for some time, and later returned in a wheel chair and what we called "Moon Boots" because they seriously looked like what you would wear to walk on the moon. That is when I could tell something more was going on with Bear than he would let on. I knew it was more than him not being able to walk as well anymore, I could just see the gears turning as his views on life seemed to become a bit more bleak when he talked. I had thought it was just depression, but it wasn't depression from losing part of his foot.
Over the next year or so he had to have his toes amputated on the other foot, and it was as if the doctors just weren't paying attention enough to what was going on with his feet and legs, so once again, the depression seemed to get stronger, but he never would let on as to what it was. Half a foot and a few toes didn't bother him, he would make jokes, and would laugh about it but like I said it still wasn't what was bothering him. I was his best friend, i could tell these things.

After a few years he met his Wife. I remember Bear calling me at 1am, i thought something was wrong because he never called me at that time of night. He was giddy as a school girl ( no pun intended ) He said that he was engaged! I was like, WTF is wrong with you Ron, what do you mean your engaged! He said he met the most wonderful woman, second most wonderful to me of course ( he made sure to throw that in, cuz that man loved me unconditionally ) then told me he was in love with her in the first 5 minutes, and had asked her to marry him 15 minutes into the date! I was like WHAT!? Are you Effing out of your mind!? ( Part of this was jealousy, not because I wanted him for myself, but because someone was about to get MY Bear full time, and I knew I couldn't do my 3am tipsy drunk phone calls to him anymore ) Over the next few hours he told me everything about her, down to her shoe size lol. He was one hell of a story teller, as you all know. :) Told me how she had 2 biological children and 3 adopted children with her ex husband. I was like, Wow, Insta-family! Bear could never have kids, but he wanted them so bad, and he was about to get 5 kids over night!
The next thing that came out of his mouth kinda shocked me "Jessie, I want you to be my best man" I was like what, you don't want your brother or someone, he goes Nope, your my best friend, I want you there for me, and I gleefully said yes, and was witness at his wedding at the justice of the peace in Grand Rapids Michigan.

Fast forward several years, we hadn't seen each other much, we lived 2.5 hours away from each other, and would talk maybe once every couple months. I didn't want to step on the new wifes toes. Bear had to have several other surgeries, and lost one of his legs up the knee, and the other leg to midcalf. He was feeling less of him self by now, because his body was literally being widdled away, but that still wasn't what was bothering him, i knew there was more than he was letting on.

Then I want to say, about 2 years ago he called me up out of the blue and said he needed to talk to me. I was scared to death something was wrong, that something had happened to the kids, or that he was really really sick this time. but it wasn't anything like that.
He tells me "I need to tell you something, but I'm scared" I then replied with , "why the HELL would you be scared to tell me anything, I'm your best friend" and that's when he told me how he really felt inside. And how much she admired me. ( I'm a heavy set girl who carries her fat well, plus being 6'1 helps, i'm very thick, but i'm completely proportioned ( could use bigger boobs though, always felt I got shafted for my size )) She told me that she wishes she looked like me. She knew she would never be small, but that wanted to be like me. My confidence, my statuesque composure, my fiery red hair. It's how she pictured herself inside, and she hated what she was, she hated the shell of the body she was trapped in. Bear was burley, with a beard, heavy set, and losing limbs at the rate of quarter of a limb at the rate of every 2 years of the last 10. She was scared to tell me because she thought I would look at her differently, and feel differently about her. I asked her if she had told the wife. and She said yes, that the wife actually accepted her too. And that was when I was relieved. And then yelled at her for scaring the hell out of me, making me think she was dying or something. She was relieved that I embraced her. Hell, i was speechless, she pictured herself like me, I was flattered. I know i'm pretty, and I have a way about myself, but to have someone want to look and be like me was an honor, especially her, the person who had been my best friend for at that time 10 years. Then she told me the name that she felt suited her the best. Wren Phoenix. Phoenix had always been my thing, my handle online, I was obsessed with phoenix's and had told her everything I knew about the mythology of the Phoenix. She told me that the name was inspired by me and my stories of the Phoenix. She pictured herself as a beautiful fire engulfed bird being born from the ashes of Ron/Bear. Fire in her wings, and fire in her soul, blazing bright as the sun. Yep, that was Wren, my baby phoenix being reborn.

Over the last 2 years, I have had the pleasure to get to know Wren, and call her my best friend, and love her like a Sister. I loved Bear/Wren like she was a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a companion. My love for Bear/Wren I will carry in my earthly heart until the day I die and I am reunited with him/her in heaven. I know Bear/Wren is a beautiful Angel, and damn it she has her wings, may not be fire, but hey, that may be what God gave her for being tortured in that body for so long. So I like to think of Wren standing next to me as I type this, firery wings a blazing, saying "jessie look at me, i'm beautiful now" But just like I told her when she was still here, "You are gorgeous, I don't care what you think about yourself, I see YOU, and i love YOU, and all I see is beautiful when I look at you"

I just gave birth to my 2nd child on the 13th by C Section, and was unable to travel. I wish I could have been there when he passed, but his 3 sons were there, his wife was there, and his family was there. I lost a part of me when his wife called me and told me he was gone. and I know that I will be rejoined with that part of me when I get to heaven.

She did not suffer, she was aware of the situation, and communicated her love for her family and friends even though she was unable to talk. I will not get into all of the details, but she did communicate that she was ready to be sent home to be with lost loved ones and God. She went peacefully.

I know several of you said that Wren's stories weren't completed. If anyone would like to send me information on the stories she had been working on, If I wouldn't insult any of you, I would like to try to finish them for Her, I always had a good sense in where she would go with a story, because she thought like me a lot. She always had me proof read and help her with her writings back in the day, in fact I think I have some stories you don't have on this site that I may be able to share with you all. I would be honored to be given the privilege if you all wouldn't mind me doing so and posting them on this site. If anyone would like to contact me my email is [email protected]

Thank you for being so good to my best friend, she really did love and respect you all, and was excited to be able to display her work in such an accepting environment.

Sincerely,
Jessica

Thank you so much Jessica.

Some of us knew her better than others but this illustrates how special a person she was. I know I will miss her terribly, so will many others. Love, Jenn.


I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Special...

Andrea Lena's picture

...I hope no one minds, but this song came to mind when I thought of her.... the need to belong... to be accepted for who we are? By Carrie Underwood from the Narnia movies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB9ueVfyZ1M

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Jenn, thank you again for

Jenn,

thank you again for reading my rambles about Wren on facebook. I know i've been going from one thing to another and jumping around. It's much easier to cope with a loss, when you are able to talk to someone about random things about the person, that doesn't get sick of hearing the stories, because they are brand new to them. :)

Jessie

It was my pleasure, I got to

It was my pleasure, I got to know another side of her. I'm here for you anytime. Love, Jenn.


I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Thanks, Jessica

I am still at a loss for words. She was encourager about a few of my stories. You could tell she had a big heart.

One of my stories, she begged for a sequel. I may have to do it and dedicate it to her.

Bless you Wren, for all that you have meant to us.

Torey

She would like that Torey...

She would like that Torey... and remember, Angels can read from heaven, so she will see it and cherish it I'm sure. :D

My Post was Edited??

I am unsure why a moderator felt it necessary to delete part of my posting, but I know this had happened because I had cut and pasted my letter and still have the original. Now I want to see if this stays up , this is the paragraph that originally came after "She went Peacefully" and before my email address.

Original Paragraph before it disappeared from the post:
I know several of you said that Wren's stories weren't completed. If anyone would like to send me information on the stories she had been working on, If I wouldn't insult any of you, I would like to try to finish them for Her, I always had a good sense in where she would go with a story, because she thought like me a lot. She always had me proof read and help her with her writings back in the day, in fact I think I have some stories you don't have on this site that I may be able to share with you all. I would be honored to be given the privilege if you all wouldn't mind me doing so and posting them on this site. If anyone would like to contact me my email is [email protected]

end paragraph.

I understand if you do not want a straight female completing her stories, but I wanted to offer to those who were inspired by her, to give them a chance to read what I believe in my heart, as her best friend, to be the way she would have wanted her stories to end. I wouldn't even have to post them here, I could privately email them. I just wanted to give her fans the opportunity of allowing a ghost writer to finish her work. I'm sorry if this offended the moderators.

- Jessica

I dont think it was edited

We have a memory leak in the text box area that sometimes gobbles up code (until we get the new version of Drupal). I will reinsert that paragraph for you :)

So always always , backup a copy of your material before you press preview or save.

Edited: I found the culprit code block in your comment. You had this as a typo just before that paragraph: </3 . That caused that paragraph to not show. So no one did anything other than a typo you created ^^ It's all fine! :)

Sephrena

happy.gifT128550568840623eff129f896431aa3874a1dc4c539f.gifT12855057397797c0de0a79a1b70051a5899bf494ba04.gifHi.gif

Well I'm glad that it was

Well I'm glad that it was just a mix up. I was like "Oh no, I didn't mean to insult anyone" Thank you very much. Feel free to delete my latest post about the edit once the paragraph has been reinserted. :)

Why on Earth

Would anyone be insulted when a good friend of friend wishes to do something for our friend? Wow that sounded a bit convoluted, didn't it?

I believe the editors for Dark Realms have the rest of her chapters of 'Familiar Experience' and we intend to post them for Wren once a few things get settled down.

Thank you for that glimpse of Wren/Bear as well.

Hugs.

Maggie

I'm going to look back thru

I'm going to look back thru my old hard drive and see if I can find a story she once wrote called "side Effects" the thing is, there's 2 different versions, the original she had wrote, and then the re-write version which was on going and much longer. I hope I can find my copies of it and share it with you all. Its not quite the same as her work on here, its before she came out to us all so it was kinda straight laced kinky. if there is such a thing lolol.

and if for some reason I can not find it, I will rewrite the story. We both have a knack for story telling, and had no problem with helping each other out when we needed a fresh perspective.

Side Effects

...or at least the first five chapters, through January 2011, appears on the non-TG sister site, Fictioneer, here.

(She spelled it "Sound Affects" and said that was intentional...)

Eric

(FWIW, there's no reason not to post it here now. For a while after Fictioneer was set up, this site was encouraging authors to post non-TG stories there instead, in hopes of reaching a more general audience. Later it became more common to publish them here with a "non-TG" tag attached, as long as the author had at least one TG story here as well.)

Thank you

Amethyst's picture

Thank you so much for this insight into Wren. She was always encouraging others, always had a kind word, and was such a wonderful story teller. Whatever wings she has she has earned them ten times over.

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

she really has earned them.

she really has earned them. :) i am just glad that she is whole again, and no longer in pain. my heart is aching.

What an awesome story!

Wren now has the perfect body to match her wonderful spirit.

I would love to see how you finish her stories. I think she would so like that.

Peace!
Cindilee

i feel that way too. But the

i feel that way too. But the thing is, she was perfect to a lot of people when she was here, we just never could make her see that.

I finially stopped crying long enough

I finally stopped crying long enough to add my heart felt condolences to the news of Wren’s passing on to her family and friends. I so enjoyed reading her delightful stories and looked forward to reading each and every new chapter of her stories. I’m glad to hear the news that there are several chapters that she’d written to some of her stories that are yet to be posted her.

Jessica, thank you for offering to work on completing Wren’s stories. I truly hope that you will do so. I think that you will find that many of the contributing authors and editors here will support you and be willing to collaborate with you to do so. I don’t think that it would be the first time here on BCTS that a close friend has taken up the task of completing the work of an author who has passed on. If I remember correctly, that is currently the case with the stories by Jaye Michael that are being completed and posted by Levanah Greene.

With a sad heart that is filled with love, Hugs
Tamara Jeanne

Thank you for your words. I

Thank you for your words. I hope that I will be able to start reading thru her unfinished stories soon so that I can get a feel for where she was going with them. I have a 20 day old baby boy at home and am constantly being used as a mattress by him right now, so I will have to contact the editors and a few people and find out which ones are still in progress. :)

Jessica

Memorial Service Information

This is the Memorial Service Information for Wren/Bear/Ron I am unsure of who all knew about Wren, but if you would like to send any gifts of condolences please do so to Ronald Zinn, we don't want any confusion (or questions that may make me ore Cecelia want to smack someone with a baseball bat because they are insecure asshats who can't handle that people aren't always what and who they seem). However, if you do decide to send flowers, after your name please put the intials bcts that way me and Cecelia, Wren's other half will know who they came from. Thank you. :)

Service for Ronald Zinn is as followed. Thursday, Janruary 3, 2013. Visitation time 12pm to 2pm with service following at 2pm. Place is Orchard Hill Church 1465 3 mile Rd Grand Rapids, MI.

And if you are local and would like to attend, I should be there ( weather permitting, its a 2 hour drive for me and I have a 20 day old baby I have to bring with me, so if the weather is bad, I will not risk it ) Just look for the 6'1 BBW with red hair ( dyed black on bottom layer ) with the puffy blue eyes and tear stained cheeks named Jessica. And Introduce yourself, please don't be shy.

Thank you,
Jessica