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So, here we are again. It's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to-
Ok enough of that. So It's been awhile Bigcloset. Alot's happened. Transition is proceeding normally. Friends are by my side. Good. On hormones, Great. Dad.... well That went in a way I did not expect. and ended. In a way that seems impossible to me. Basically about a month back he found out I was on hormones. Had a few confrontations and I explained it to him. time went by, and today, he sat me down and decided to have a chat with where I was going in life. He wasn't discouraging me. Infact he was ENCOURAGING me. But saying it's a path I walk with out him. That I need to cut him out of my life, if I want to be happy. It was hard not to cry.Instead I just said, I understand. He gave me the car I was paying him to have. and basically said, when I can. I should move out. That he loves me, but can't support what I'm doing because he can't understand it, even when trying.

He's earned respect from me for this. The respect I lost for him years ago. Yes, this hurts, but I don't want to hurt him. So....I'm honestly in agreement. What will happen in our future, I don't know. If we keep contact, thats good, if not, then I don't know. But, atleast I can walk away knowing that he'll love me, no matter what the path I take.

Talk to you later, Kitten

Comments

Kitten,

I hope and pray that your dad will eturn and want for you to be his Princess/daughter. It sounds as if he is taking time to accept the new you.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

To be sent away?

Andrea Lena's picture

...how painful that must feel, no matter what words were exchanged? I cannot imagine being sent away. As encouraging as the rest of your blog is, my heart breaks for the separation you must endure in order to make things right. You are in my heart, dear one.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Mixed messages

Angharad's picture

says he loves you but sends you away. Sounds like he loves himself more.

A bit like the old joke, "If you go through with this sex change you'll be no son of mine."

Angharad

I'm not so sure...

I get the feeling that her dad would be more than willing to let her stay around and would even still continue to TRY to understand and accept, but realizes that he's just not capable and that his problems would cause HER problems, and doesn't want to hurt her, so he'd rather push her away and hurt her a little now rather than continue hurting her for the rest of the time he has left.

It's sad... but... I can understand it. A lot more than the lying sacks my folks are. In my hearing they put forth a minimal effort, but when they think I'm not around...

They only "love" me because they feel obligated to. As soon as I can I'll solve that problem for them.

Abigail Drew.

sometimes in life, we have to

sometimes in life, we have to do the things that hurt us the most. but we come out stronger for it.

Never be afraid to push yourself to new limits. While you might not see the path, you will be amazed at what you can achieve.

Dear Kitten

I had a somewhat similar relation to my sister. She accepted it but it took about two years till she really had accepted that her older broter now was would be her older sister. But it all cleared out. And now ten years later (September 2013) there is nothing odd with our relation. So IF you chose to separate from your father, do not cut all bands with him. You are still his kid, and I think that is an instinct that will win in the long run.
Good luck in your transition
Your Ginnie

GinnieG