Window Dressing

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This was originally intended to be a comment on a comment on a recent blog entry, but I was rambling and going WAY off topic, so here it is on its own.

(NOTE: The contents of this blog are the author's personal opinion. The author is not a professional writer, nor do they pretend to be. Likewise, the author does not hold degrees in English, writing, or any related field. As such, all opinions contained below should be seen as just that, and can be ignored should the reader wish to.)

Detail in a story is good. Detail helps to give the world depth and verisimilitude, and can mean the difference between a clear and concise vision of what a story is intended to be, and a garbled mess that barely gets the author's point across.

Having said that, detail is also one of the number one banes of an author's existence, because of everything that can get in the way of a story, details are the worst.

From what I've seen, it's pretty much a given that authors are going to write in one of two ways, either: A) They will give the bare minimum detail to set a scene and location, or B) they will go into far more detail than anyone could ever need, explaining things in a depth far deeper than necessary to explain a character's surroundings or situation.

Ideally, a good author should be able to strike a balance between the two: enough detail to make the world vivid and real, with flaws and features that make it more than just a stage or prop and a living, breathing character of its own, while still avoiding the pitfall of describing every last bit of the setting and events -- removing all the mystery, wonder, and imagination from the reader's mind because there is nothing TO imagine, it's all been described. A good author knows that that very imagination and mystery are part of what keeps a reader interested, and works with that to make the world tailor itself to every person who experiences it.

Me? I prefer to err on the side of caution -- caution in my case stating that too little detail is usually preferable to too much.

An example: I am setting a scene inside a space station. No, make that THE space station. Now, I COULD go into a great deal of research into exactly how the space station works, what every part does, what each button on every control panel does, even what food rations they have available. I could make the world incredibly detailed around my characters before getting into their actions.

But what effect does this have on them?

There are three things, in my mind, that stand out as the most important parts of a story, and they are ALL character driven. They can be summarized fairly simply: Think, Feel, and Do. These three features are an author's best tools for telling a story, and represent loosely a character's intellect ("I know that Stephen killed Dr. Lazenby,") Empathy ("This makes me feel angry,") and physical response ("I'm gonna punch Stephen in the face!")

While the physical world around them -- or even knowledge of the working of things around them -- can in some cases make a difference to these actions, in most cases the world around a character is one thing and one thing only: window dressing.

It doesn't matter if the curtains in the background are red, blue, lace, or string cheese: what matters is the emotions going through the girl's head as she hides behind them and listens to the conversation going on in the room.

Whether the camera taking the picture is Nikon, Canon, or Fujifilm makes no difference to me as a reader: what I care about is the expression on the model's face as she fights down her nerves and poses for her first glamor shots.

Who is bothered by the feasibility of a compact handheld visible-light laser pistol: I want to know the hero is going to make his shot count, and escape with the smart, sassy princess.

An author doesn't need to know how a movie studio works to write a good story about an actress struggling with substance abuse problems on the set of her latest film, nor do they need to understand quantum mechanics and supergravity to write a well paced and intriguing science fiction romance. All they need to know how to do is make their characters believable. If they can do that? Everything else just fades into the background, where it belongs.

Let's apply all this in the context of my initial example, the space station. My protagonist is not a scientist, or an astronaut, or anything of the sort. She is just a normal girl, in the wrong place at the wrong time, who has through a series of unlikely circumstances ended up on the space station.

What use would it serve her, or her interactions as a character, to know precisely how much O2 the station had, or how many hours until they went nightside, or how many miles precisely she was floating over the surface of the earth?

What use would this information serve a reader, either, if their focus is on the girl and her experiences aboard the station?

If all she is doing is looking out at the stars, none of this information is needed. If she is interacting with scientists on the station, then it is only important in as far as how it affects their interactions with her.

Girl:
Think -- "I should not be up here, and I will be in major trouble when I get down."
Feel -- "I feel excited, and more than a little nervous, and afraid of what will happen."
Do -- "I will just curl up in the corner over here and try to be invisible, hopefully nobody will bother me..."

Scientist:
Think -- "Our weight load on the trip out here was about 125 pounds higher than calculated."
Feel -- "Something might be wrong, and my intuition is telling me I need to look into what is happening."
Do -- "I'm going to explore the cargo bay of the ship to verify that nothing is amiss before returning to normal duty."

The main character is the Girl, who we'll call Monica for now since "The Girl" is just too unwieldy. In most writing authors will use either the first-person perspective, or limited third person, keeping much of what the reader experiences limited to the direct surroundings and experiences of the protagonist. In either situation, it would be fairly silly to go into detail at this point about the names of the various pieces of equipment around her, or the exact terminology involved with her movement or what she looks at and interacts with. It would actually detract from the story, since none of this information is likely to be easily accessible, or even important, to the character.

If all Monica sees when she looks at the computer terminal is a bunch of blinky lights, then all that should be described is a bunch of blinky lights. If she notes there is a space suit in the corner, then that is detail enough, since she is unlikely to be bothered by the models of hoses, or the specifics of functions.

We as readers have few concerns for details if they are noncritical to the character, and often a very cursory or basic knowledge even on the part of the author is enough to make a story work.

So, don't sweat the details. If you want to make a rich, detailed world, feel free to do so, but always keep in mind that readers are there for your characters, not your ship design prowess or house decorating skills. We want to know the three basics: Think, Feel, and Do.

The curtains in the space station? Nothing but window dressing.

Melanie E.

Comments

Worthwhile points

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

A good blog article and something I have to confess that I struggle with. I tend to err the other way with too much detail and have to spend a while editing stuff down. Think, feel, do is a good mantra.



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Certainly a good start

With my reader's hat on, then I like a little detail to flesh out and/or colour a bare bones story. But sometimes details can be a distraction. In one story recently, the author chose to include a fine wine - giving the year and the name, which would normally have been ok. But I know a fair bit about wines as it happens and the author chose to describe a wine from the Bordeaux region with a year that the experts feel is a candidate for the worst vintage ever, and a name that the author needlessly embellished and then got the embellishment wrong! A simple piece of research on the author's part would have easily found this out, but some authors are more proud of writing a story in a short amount of time, than they are of double-checking facts and/or getting the presentation correct.

As a reader, I enjoy reading the stories and expect to build up a sort of flow as the story progresses. Any spelling mistake, like using 'heals' as the word to describe footwear rather than 'heels', interrupts that nice flow and makes me have to stop, rewind and go back to re-evaluate what the author means, then make a mental substitution, then get back into the flow again. If a story has too many of these, then the flow never gets going and it becomes a chore to read. If you then add in grammatical and punctuation mistakes, and the story just never allows itself to get going. The concept, the storyline, may be absolutely brilliant but the enjoyment has - FOR ME - been ruined. It's like having a telephone call with someone which has both a delay built-in AND on a crackling line. Several authors here write phrases in German and French, I have also seen Italian and Spanish. Any reader is going to go a little slower with these phrases, so it seems to me that it behoves the author to get the phrases right. The French for "Is it not?" is "N'est ce pas?" and is not "ne c'est pas?". Again, an interruption to the flow, again a minor factor that spoils it. One or two minor factors are fine, quite acceptable, but having these far more frequently occur becomes a turn off.

With my author's hat on, then details are actually at times a pain - each fact has to be double-checked - especially in a series. As an example, if in an early episode I say that by using xyz grass as a bandage, then bleeding stops immediately, I cannot in a later episode have the character use abc grass for this. Or maybe I can, if I want the character to have made a mistake. What I cannot do is keep changing the name of a character, sometimes use this spelling, sometimes that. That is just disrespectful to the reader - it's as if I am saying "This is the way I think about my character, and I don't care if it's confusing for you."

Sometimes, of course, you as an author may want the detail to work for you - say in a 'whodunnit'. If you ONLY supply detail for a clue, then you are sending the reader a huge flashing-light message that says "Hello, this here is a CLUE. Did you spot it folks?"

So a good author then needs to add other bits of detail in other areas to not exactly hide the clue but to make it not stand out so much.

So I do believe there is a balance to be drawn.

Someone (here I would normally go and research just who, but not today) once said that a good rule for authors is: "Don't tell, show."
In other words, make your character do some action which conveys the message rather than just tell the reader that the character did whatever.

A possibly poor example:

Federika put on her shoes, took her coat off the hook, picked up her handbag and umbrella and went out the front door, making sure it was closed, before going down the path to the road.

Knowing it might rain later, Federika chose her 'sensible' shoes and her best raincoat, made sure she had her umbrella, grabbed her bag and rushed out of the door, remembering to check it was secure before skipping down the path to the road.

I contend that the second version makes the character come alive a little more than the first - by adding detail.

A final point for this post is that books, stories and reading have a HUGE advantage over films and plays. In books (and the rest), the author has the ability to say "Hmmm. Nice butt on Jonathan," thought Sylvia.
In other words, the author can make the reader look closer inside the mind of the character. How do you easily portray "he/she thought" on film without some form of artifice?

So yes - Think, Feel, Do = excellent advice.

Cheers

Julia

5 seconds 3 quick shots

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

#1 Sylvia behind Jonathan

#2 a quick pan down J's body focusing in on the butt

#3 a close-up of Sylvia's face with a growing smile and a raised eyebrow

No dialogue at all, simply visuals. Ok, maybe 5 second is a little short but not by much.

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

It could also be written that way instead of boring "S thought..

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

Sylvia's eyes snanned down Jonathna's body starting from the back of his head, stopping at the halfway point. The rest to the world seemed to fade to grey when her scan was halted there. Slowly, her left eyebrow rose up and a learing smile spread her normally pouting lips.

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

Thought, Feel, Do

I don't mean this as far as what should literally be written, but simply as a guideline for judging needed detail levels in a story.

A walk through the park doesn't require you to describe each bench, or when the park was founded, or exactly what the trees look like unless these are elements your character finds important to the point it affects what they Think, Feel, or Do. If the piece of gum stuck to the bench doesn't matter to the character, then the reader doesn't need to know about it.

Essentially, extraneous details are extraneous.

Melanie E.

I usually do, truthfully.

The next part is about two thirds done.

And hey, it ain't like I've been lazy on the site recently!

Melanie E.

Neither have I

Angharad's picture

apart from my regular offerings here, I've done one short story for the Gabycon and am half way through number two.

Angharad

Keep writing!

D. Eden's picture

Maybe I should stop having these hours long conversations with you, huh little sister? But, to be completely honest - yes, you have been writing and I am very proud of you for the diligence you have shown. Plus, how can I complain when you have been instrumental in my keeping my sanity of late.

However, having said that, Ang is right and I would truly like to see more PFH as well! Plllllllllleeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssse?

Dallas

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

As an engineer.......

D. Eden's picture

By education, training, and experience, for me everything is about the details. A missed detail can mean hundreds of thousands of dollars, or potentially someone's life.

However, I am not an author - as I have repeatedly pointed out, and as I have been told on numerous occasions throughout my life. When it comes to writing, I can but offer two small pieces of advice:

1) As a reader, I like to have enough detail to stimulate my imagination, yet not enough to kill the creative process within my mind. An author should provide direction, and then allow the reader to fill in the blanks - to flesh out the characters and the world in which they live.

2) The best advice I ever received regarding writing came from a teacher I had in the 10th grade. She told me that an author's writing should be like a woman's skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep it interesting.

Now, as my legs may be my best feature, I don't believe in covering any more than absolutely necessary! I am inclined to say the same regarding detail within a story.

Dallas

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus