Apparently, I f'd up in Bikini Beach: Heroes

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Blog About: 

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

In BB: Heroes, I obviously screwed up conveying the message I intended. Comments, both here and on another site, are either love/hate, and the comments I've received privately indicate an extremely strong dislike for the story.

Add to that the annual performance appraisal, loss of an on-line friend, and an inability to be able to concentrate on writing, and I'm in a funk. Maybe I should hang it up for a while, since I wrote something that offends veterans - the last group in the world I intended to offend. I am a veteran myself, and I have nothing but respect for those who have served. But to have given offense like this indicates to me that I'm not on top of my game.

If you are a veteran, please know that I intended no disrespect. I humbly apologize, and am considering removing the story so as to cause no further offense.

Comments

To be honest, the fact that

To be honest, the fact that you've elicited such strong responses - both ways - means that you wrote the story _right_. The purpose of a story is to elicit a response, generally an emotional one. If people then want to be "emo" towards you - that's their problem, not yours. You simply wrote a story.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

vets

I have to say, I read the story about the wounded vet, and I took no offence whatsoever.... It was a good story,I enjoyed it ,and being a much older vet than most anyone here I got to say ...there are some assholes out there who are just that,assholes. they are the minority who take any thing they can & change it to fit their twisted way of looking at things
Know this Elrod & all I am a reciepient of a purple heart, luckily I am not crippled from my wounds, I go a bunch of other hadware from all that crap ,but I dont see anything offensive in what you wrote. So if anyone who bitched would like to get ahold of me to complain ....I will gladly meet you to discuss it
Write on elrod, screw the crybabies

story

elrodw your not here to please anyone but yourself and don't let others dictate otherwise your writing is for you and you alone. you cant please everyone and should never strive to do that. you will give yourself a brain aneurism and a heart attack worrying about what others say. so what you wrote a story and rattled some cages good for you.

Anyone following my blogs

Wendy Jean's picture

knows I have problems reading nowdays. I enjoyed the story myself. It was one of the few I have read nowdays.

Elrod I've said my piece

Elrod I've said my piece. It was a thought provoking story. I've heard Vets from Vietnam who didn't really talk about what they experienced. How they were called baby killers when they stepped off the plane. How they were reviled because they did what their country asked them to do. Vietnam was ugly all around.

Afgan is a different culture. We don't truly understand the mindset. As a soldier we do the job and get out. You wrote a story for a vet and I thank-you. Truth hurts sometimes.

People are human and soldiers are people.

Elrod

I am a veteran and I enjoyed the story a lot.

There are choices in life and you presented just one of them.

It just shows that with every choice in life there are more affected than just one person, but in the long term it is still that persons choice to make.

Keep on writing as not everyone will always like, enjoy or understand every story.

As another Vet and one with

gpoetx's picture

As another Vet and one with friends with loss of mobility and loss of limbs (not to mention mental issues) I saw nothing wrong with it. Soldiers die, soldiers get injured, we know this going in especially while a war is going on...

Everyone has choices they make and the ramifications are felt no matter what.

Maybe just move to another writing project for a couple weeks. Do not let it get you down man...

Win-Win/Lose-Lose

littlerocksilver's picture

I am a veteran of 21.5 years of active duty, and I found absolutely no offense to the story. There was no correct answer. It's a bit like Sophie's choice. She also has to think about herself, and I don't think this is being selfish. Her future was an unknown. There might be a time when she would have children of her own; children who through her nurturing would continue the good that she did. I think her choice was the correct one; however, it's not my job to second guess the author. I hope that she eventually would realize that she didn't have to feel guilty, and that goes for Elrod as well.

Portia

enging: heroes

while not a veteran, I found nothing wrong with your ending. ed made a very hard decision. who knows what future leader may come out of his teachings. don't give up your writing as I read earlier write to please your self. keep up the good work.
robert

001.JPG

A Worthy Addition To The BC Archive

I've just read the story, and I've deliberately avoided looking at either the comments it received or the ones made in response to this blog.

My first reaction is that anyone who's offended by this has their head stuck up their arse. You make no controversial political statements, nor do you denigrate in any way the contribution the protagonist or his comrades in arms made to the defence of their country. He's done his bit, suffered for it and now he has the opportunity to move in a different direction. Most of us would say he's earned it.

Now I've never served in the British armed forces, nor would I ever contemplate doing so. My country has not been threatened with invasion since the 1940s, and there is no likelihood that it will be in the foreseeable future. I imagine that a career in the military carries many rewards, but I don't think anyone who joins up can say they weren't aware of the risks. Veterans have no more right not to be offended than anyone else. And if they claim that they were defending our freedom, surely that includes the freedom to write whatever the hell we like as long as it doesn't transgress the boundaries we as a society have set out.

If I want to burn the Union Flag or the Stars And Stripes in my next story then I'll damn well do it. I'll tell you something else as well, the more people who complained about it the more I'd be motivated to write.

Please do not remove this story. It is well written, humane and hopeful. I consider it a worthy addition to the Big Closet archive, and in my opinion that is where it should stay.

Ban nothing. Question everything.

Elrod, your story

did strike a nerve with many, here. Have you thought about another story where the incident does not happen, or if it does, they all survive and meet at Bikini Beach?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

My confidence is thoroughly shaken

elrodw's picture

And not just by this. A friend has signed off and moved on, and I shall probably never hear from her again. She was a confidant on the awkward physical things I'm going through. My sister, who I just visited, is in bad physical shape and still fighting for a divorce from the husband from hell; she's effectively disabled, so that adds to stress. And the crap with the story, especially on the heels of another Morpheus masterpiece - I feel inadequate and partially depressed.

I probably shouldn't post this...

Imagination is more important than knowledge
A. Einstein

Elrod, your writing is very,

gpoetx's picture

Elrod, your writing is very, very special to many. Please don't feel inadequate. Bikini beach has been a special place for so long and then you go and create Operation Rescue that I keep reading over and over and over because Tommi is such an engaging character. I truly hope you can put all this out of your mind because as I said before, you can not please everyone. At least I can say you have pleased me for countless years with what you write. We lost you for a while before, I'd hate to see that happen again.
Take a short break. Breathe the air and don't fret over what was another great story, a story I might add that is yours only your no matter what.
Feel better. Gary

Elrod, you wrote a story that was bound to stir emotions

The hero/heroine was faced with two imperfect choices. BTW this tale had a gritty, real world feel to it. As real as it can be in a magical world, IMHO.

Neither was perfect.

Either the men would die so she might survive, help raise kids out of poverty and low self esteem and maybe produce her on kids.

As the man, the men would have lived but many many students would never reach their potential, he would never father any children and was close to suicide.

Plus he had no hope or chance of ever getting a degree to teach or do anything.

She in many ways took the harder route. She KNOW HE had saved those men. Thus she is driven to make the sacrifice worth it.

Rarely is there a perfect path in life. Even with magic he or she only had imperfect choices.

She choose to feel the guilt and to hope for a better future.

He would have saved those few but given up on the future.

Not an easy choice but the right one I feel was made. Though not a veteran I can see no insult was intended and if anything this touched on the plight of the survivors and the walking wounded.

He had severe survivors guilt. And physically suffered as well. It took great courage to have held on as long as he did as it did to fight in that terrible fight.

And to chose as she did. There was honor and pain in both choices. She did what we would hope of a good soldier. She though not only of herself but of what her decision would mean to others. She sacrificed HIS pride, his Medal of Honor for her chance to make things right a few students at a time, and their kids and so on...

Yeah, I DO like Morphus's latest a lot .

But do not think yours is any less.

You each have your strengths and I enjoy both.

If you need some time to *recharge* your mental and spiritual batteries , take a break.

WE can wait until you are in a better place.

Best wishes,

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

As a Veteran I enjoyed your

As a Veteran I enjoyed your story very much. It was well written and thought out. You did a good job conveying the pain suffered by many of us who were injured in the line of duty. My cousin's husband fought in Viet Nam and was exposed to agent orange. He still has problems today and suffers occasional boughts of PTSD due to the combat he was in. Other friends of mine lost their lives in combat as well.

Anyone who has read your stories should know by now that you do not intend any disrespect to any group of people (unless perhaps well deserved), so you have nothing to apologize for. If they didn't like it, oh well. You can't please all of the people all of the time.

I'm sorry you're in a funk, I hope you get over it soon, as I enjoy your stories very much (especially Bikini Beach-I'd love to go there myself sometime-LOL).

Hugs,
Mark <3

Another vet here

As a Vietnam vet and having 100% service-related disability, I can assure you that I enjoyed your story immensely. A very hard choice was made by him to trade the few for the many. ANYONE who has been in combat can tell you that they, at some point, had to make that same decision at least once during their tour of duty.

I received a medal for saving nine of my patrol members. I would give that medal back in a heartbeat if it would save the rest of the guys. I had to decide which of them had the best chance of survival and cover them from heavy enemy fire until med-evac arrived. You must help the maximum number you can. I still have flashbacks to that particular fight more than any others.

Your hero chose those who had the best chance of survival and a path that would save the most. If anyone complains about the path he/she took, ignore them as they don't deserve to be acknowledged any more than they deserve to be saved in a combat situation.

Please work your way through your funk and get back to writing. You do an excellent job. Don't let some losers keep you in that funk; they don't deserve to win. If you let them get to you, they win. In that case, you and I and everyone else here will lose out.

Hugs,
Erica

Dear friend

To go at your self like this is wrong. One of the gifts of the internet is to give everyone a big voice.. Sometimes that has a good effect others a bad effect. There will always be people who will attack what ever they see just because they can. Opinions are like assholes, every body has one and some of them stink. Don't let the trolls hurt you for being an excellent writer, your story asked some hard questions about the issues of war. The randomness of who died and who lived can never make sense, you will destroy your mind trying to figure out selflessness. War in our age has become the ultimate usery, where good and fine people are sacrificed for people's greed and corruption.
You are not to blame the war mongers are, continue to call them as you see them.

Huggles
Michele

With those with open eyes the world reads like a book

celtgirl_0.gif

characer vs writer

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

The complainers are confusing the characters choices with the writers, if you can't tell different points of view you can't really tell a good story.

It is perfectly valid for the writer to write a character that does not make the most moral choice. In this case the choice is at least somewhat ambiguous. Just think, How boring all would all stories be if there were no moral choices and everything always turned out perfect, who would bother reading them?

Colour me confused.

I'm rather confused as to this offence you caused. I certainly saw nothing that could, would, or should offend veterans. Certainly nothing in there offended me. From the comments I'm reading here, many veterans agree that the story was not offensive.

I did criticize the ending (mostly just Anya and her actions) but that didn't make the story bad, nor did it make it offensive. I read your story, enjoyed my time with it, and felt motivated to write how it made me feel, what I took away from it, and how I interpreted things.

When I think of the ending, I still feel saddened by the choice of the main character. But that isn't a bad thing. I hope you didn't take it as dislike for the story or for your efforts in writing it.

Why pull it?

You are the author of this story. If people don't like it move on. Elrod, you have a story that is YOUR way of seeing a hero being given a chance to start over. Let the bad reviews flow off your back and embrace the good reviews. Opinions are like a--holes everybody has one. I read the story and did not find it offensive. I can't wait to see what Anya and Grandmother do next.
HUGS!

Not offended.

As one of the more vocal posters that disagreed with the decision made, I would like to say that I WAS NOT OFFENDED by the story. I am also a vet.

Life is filled with choices...

Puddintane's picture

...all of them have consequences.

Perhaps, if only the protagonist had gone to medical school, he or she might have discovered a cure for dengue fever or malaria and saved millions upon millions of lives, all around the world. Is he or she inevitably a failure if, having not gone to medical school, she neglects her theoretical duty to humanity? What makes one small group of soldiers worth more than the millions who die every year of just these two diseases? Even supposing that she remains a simple teacher in a disadvantaged neighbourhood, perhaps one of the children she teaches may go on to perform even greater acts of heroism and/or value to humanity as a whole.

We all of us just muddle through the lives we're given, and there are always crucial points when something or another might have changed things in one way or another. What we *don't* know, and *can't* know, is any sort of long-term outcome. Perhaps one of those buddies whose lives he'd saved at the expense of his future disability went on to develop post-traumatic stress syndrome, wound up climbing up to the top of the Chrysler Building, and murdering a hundred innocent school children on an outing one fine day. Are the lives of all those children, is the pain of all those parents, brothers, sisters, "worth" the lives of those few soldiers who died? Is saving a future murderer a noble act? Or is it an act of unconscious villainy, like casually throwing a rock off a bridge and killing an hapless fisherman sitting in a boat below?

Decisions, decisions...

I had the interesting experience a few years ago of stumbling across a web site dedicated to the students of my high school who'd "passed on," as they say. I was shocked to see quite a number of my friends who had died, but this happens as one grows older. I was especially shocked, however, to discover that I myself had died, and saw my own graduation picture smiling back at me with an explanation of my death. Luckily, I had my sonic screwdriver with me, so was quickly able to correct the time stream, deftly turning a personal tragedy into a mere mistake by the woman in charge of the web site, who had read a very real obituary and rashly concluded that, since the names were the same, the identities were as well.

On the other hand:

With a bit of a mind flip
You're into the time slip.
And nothing can ever be the same.

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

It's only make believe

To those who are offended get over it is only make believe , a fiction not real and if Bikini Beach was a real place what would be so wrong with getting a break from pain. I am sure I and many others who live with pain on a daily bases would love to have a day off for the constent hurt of pain.
I saw nothing wrong with a story like this ,many stoies hear and other places strike a nerve with at least 1 or 2 people just look at past blogs.
Elrod if it makes you feel better it is your story to post and your story to remove but it is a good story that you put time and effort into writing so from me a personal THANK YOU for posting all your stories
KUDOS & THANK YOU :-) RICHIE2

Longtime lurker who has registered to make this comment

Forgive me for lurking for many years. For most of that time, I've lived in a country where even reading a site such as this could result in serious trouble with the government. That's not an excuse, just an explanation. I'm now in Canada with friends so can post more freely.

Now.

I don't much like Bikini Beach. It skates too close to identity death in most cases for my taste, and the stories don't push any of my buttons that much. (MAU? Those I love, including your recent efforts to recenter the series on canon.)

I disliked this story. I felt it painted a selfish compromise that was widely misinterpreted by its proponents, at least one of whom (not Maggie Finson) was far too scathing of those of us who were concerned.

But guess what?

Elrod, you are a very good writer. I enjoy reading what you write, even (sometimes) BB. This story was no exception. It was fairly well crafted, and emphatically not disrespectful.

I think you simply failed in that your reach exceeded your [momentary] grasp. You were touching on something brilliant and beautiful -- the sacrifice of [mostly] men in an all volunteer army in our society to combat terror abroad. You wanted to transform that into an equally heroic sacrifice in our society at home -- to forgo lucre in order to educate underprivileged children, especially girls.

Maggie Finson's take (a great writer) was good and honorable, but, I think flawed. She interpreted it simply as your character choosing future over past, and perhaps numbers over smaller numbers. For me (and perhaps others), I guess my issue was that you chose the certain death of ~12 men and the probable death of many more given that the terrorists escaped for the educational improvement of "many" young people who might plausibly have been helped by others.

I was really troubled by the way you presented this choice. It felt deeply flawed, selfish (antithetical to his nature as a hero) and even cruel.

This is not a hit at you as a writer. The very fact that you evince such emotions is a sign of your success.

How would I have resolved it? (I write a great deal, but little of it is fiction).

Cliche perhaps, but I'd have chosen to have him be his twin sister. She winds up attending his funeral... in this alternate BB reality, the fact he has a twin sister he knows can carry on his legacy allows him to die stateside in hospital, attended by her (a touching and honorable death scene; all those that were saved remain saved), AND she can go on to teach less privileged children.

But that's me.

Would I remove it?

Heck no. It's a good story even if not one to my liking. Its very flaws are worthy of dissection if you're man enough (or woman enough) to endure it. Seriously.

[paraphrasing] "Oh I'm crappier than Morpheus". Well guess what, so are we all. Heck, so is Morpheus on a bad day.

Please don't delete your story; and I think you have nothing much to apologize for. You are a writer who has entertained me for years, and I thank you for that.

-Quinn
(feel free to PM me, though I may be back to the Gulf in a few weeks in which case silence again...)

Welcome to unlurker status

He said what I was trying to get through much more eloquently. (I was also trying to avoid a fight.)

An eloquent way of telling me I fucked up

elrodw's picture

Not in a good place wrt depression, and I shouldn't have ever posted this story. I knew that I was always taking a chance when I posted a story, that I was vulnerable to feedback, but this is the worst crap I've ever written in that regard. I know not everyone will like my stories, but this was way over the top compared to other things I've done.

I'm overwhelmed. My muse is gone - possibly having done herself in after this last abomination.

Time to find a new hobby.....

Imagination is more important than knowledge
A. Einstein

I seriously hope not Elrod.

gpoetx's picture

I seriously hope not Elrod. When a writer stops it almost feels like the characters stop existing as well. As the wizard and Danni seem like they are now stuck in some perpetual limbo I would hate to see that happen to Anya and Grandmother, or some of your other stories too. Like Dee's story or if you decide to write Suzie's from Op Rescue.

El, You are a great writer,

gpoetx's picture

El,
You are a great writer, and as I am sitting here in between coats of painting a 65 El camino in my garage I am re-reading Op-Rescue New-coed for like the 9th time... Even the best of writers get hurt by what others say, I know there is a certain amount of pleasure in a person when other love their work and a certain amount of pain when they don't, they're like your children in many ways but you have to remember, even the ones who get upset and angry at a piece of work, it still reached them in some way that they did not expect. Emotions run high, it seems even higher when writing 15 years ago but still you have to carry on, you have no choice. Its inside you and there are many many who want to see what you create next. Gary

*ergh* All he said is that he

*ergh*

All he said is that he didn't like the choices, and that it might have needed more work. It was even stated that it was a good story, and you a good writer!

That does NOT mean 'it's a terrible story, you shouldn't have posted it'. It's not like it was War and Peace, for goodness sake!


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Another veteran

here and I see nothing in heroes that is either disrespectful or offensive. I grabbed a copy to read after seeing the controversy, and having read it, am glad I did. Stories that offend no one probably do not inspire anyone either. I've read and enjoyed much that you have posted here and would hate to see you withdraw from posting. Just my 2 cents.