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I am having a particularly unpleasant visitor at the moment - Mr. Nasty himself, the "voice" who tells me how worthless I am.
So even though it feels like I've been doing this a lot lately, i once again am asking for any positive messages you can send me.
Thank you to all who read this little blog and support me.
Comments
Positive Energy
Positive energy going your way with a full regiment of Huggles to make sure it is delivered to you.
Peace and Hugs tmf
Re: Positive Anergy
I agree with tmf, here's more positive energy on the way and a matching regiment of Huggles to make the delivery.
You're a decent person, Dottie. Don't listen to Mr. Nasty, listen to the people who love you, like many of us here.
Hugs!
Hugs!
You are not 'worthless'
Your stories are excellent and you're one of the icons of bcts.
Hugs,
QM
Comments
In most of the stories I have read on this site, the ones I like most usually have comments from you. I really like reading your comments.
Ginny voice
Just tell him to fuck off, the wanker. What does he know? You're a good'un. Fuck, yeah!
Dorothy
Sister, you bring a dimension of courage, light and love to our community through your work here. there are times that one of your stories completely lifts me from the doldrums of depression back to liveliness and a smile that is power , girl and I thank you for you and for sharing you with us. Love, Joani
Talking to yourself again!
Mr. Nasty is a bully. Just stand up to him and he'll run away.
My wise granpappy told me it's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to yell at yourself, and it's even okay to argue with yourself. The only time you need to worry is if you argue with yourself and lose!
Boys will be girls... if they're lucky!
Jennifer Sue
Love
Love conquers hate every time. Don't let the nasties get to you. Look at the love ratings for this post. I love you, and 8 others do, so far. I bet many more will click the love button under your blog too.
Dawn
Don't let that demon win
It is not you you are a talented woman who needs to see herself as others see you, a wonderful human being.
Smile kiddo
There is some people you should never listen to, Mr Nasty is one of them Dotty. You instead should listen to your friends on Big Closet.
You are a great person who writes interesting stories we love to read.
Hugs, Karen
It is time to unmask Mr. Nasty
Mr. Nasty isn't you nor is Mr. Nasty a reflection of you. He is nothing more than a regurgitation of all of the bullies, ruffians, bigots and other assorted lower life forms who have preyed on you directly and indirectly with their negativity.
When Mr. Nasty comes calling, take a good look at him and recognize him for what and who he really is.
Visualize an overgrown bully wearing only a diaper (he is infantile, after all) that is a day overdue for changing. He is standing in front of you bawling, full of self pity because he doesn't have the courage to be a person of integrity who is looking to blame someone else for his own lack of character and decency. If you listen carefully you can hear him- between sobs- going "I want to hurt her because I'm jealous and insecure. I wish I was as brave as she is but I don't want to do what it takes to get there, waaah waaah, I want my mommy to make it better for me."
Once you put him in perspective, you will disempower him.
Oh so true
I know of a half dozen scumbags from my primary (catholic) and secondary schools who were the loudest in calling me faggot or poofta etc.
You can imagine my thoughts over the past 40 years, the 6 times it came to light that each of those bullies were in fact the faggots and pooftas.
Please excuse my use of derogatory terms, as a trans woman and lesbian it is even more offensive to me when the degrading terms they chose to use were for gay MEN (which they are), and of which i am not now, nor have i ever been.
No school reunions for me, not unless i'm willing to do jail time.
Hugs
Hugs to you. Maybe give Mr. Nasty a hug. It might help.
-- Daphne Xu
Hiya from downunder.
I'm saddened to hear you’re not in a good place at present.
I've been there and been suicidal twice, but only one failed attempt, I "found myself" after the second time and became who I really am.
On the 3rd of this month I brushed a table saw with my left ring finger, so a 3mm wide cut from the palm side of the finger 1/3 thru the finger and bone up to the nail bed.
I'm actually more embarrassed that I was distracted for that brief moment when the incident occurred (it's not an accident if I could have prevented it).
I was at my local country hospital 15 minutes later, and I started to think about my situation.
1. I'm right handed.
2. It wasn't my thumb or 1st two fingers.
3. it wasn't my pinkie (a friend lost his pinkie and said no one thinks about it, but he spilt hundreds of coffees before he adapted)
I realised that if I were to pick a finger to damage or lose, it would be the one I hurt.
5-1/2 hours late the ambulance ladies who had transferred me to a city hospital apologised for the delay checking me into that facility due to the large queue at the ambulance entrance, I said if anyone here needs more urgent attention, it’s called triage and get them ahead of me, her response was damn I wish a LOT more people understood that.
Several of the nurses and doctors I spoke to in the following 20 hours said they wish a LOT more patients had my positive attitude & outlook.
Was I in pain, hell yes, I nearly amputated the end of my finger between the nail and knuckle.
it was a few days later when I realised that a spot of blood on the end of my pinkie was not from the other finger, I actually touched the pinkie to the saw blade and broke the skin by 1mm and left a notch in the nail.
So to finally get to the point, I was extremely lucky, I’ve been meaning to buy a new blade, which being sharper would have been so much worse I’d have probably amputated the finger and lost the tip of the pinkie finger, there was a guy in the next bed to me in the hospital and I overheard the doctor telling interns that he'd severed his hand at the wrist somehow, that’s a bloody lot worse than my tiny little injury.
I guess what I’m saying is perspective and time make a difference, instead of again going into a depression over some idiot mistake I made (I told the Ambulance ladies i was worried about that). I’m thanking whatever god or goddess there may or may not be, and looking on the positive side.
I'm now having the finger redressed every 4 days and a doctor is called in to have a quick peek, and the consensus is that in 22 days my healing is remarkably fast (I was 50 last May), i saw a hand therapist today who expects me to start the physiotherapy as of today and my not needing dressings when I see her in a fortnight, I have to wonder is my state of mind helping the healing process?
Whenever I was feeling down I hated books and anyone saying oh just think positive, I’ll guarantee a lot of the people who said that to me were morons who have never been in that dark place, so I applaud you for asking the community on Big Closet for help, because I have no doubt that there are a high percentage of people here who do understand, and like me do care for someone they have not met but likely share so much in common.
I hope some of this makes some sense (I’m on oxycodone today so hope it's coherent.)
If the only positive you can think of is "at least I didn't do something stupid like Mandy did" then I say own it lol.
Hang in there girl.
Love & regards from Australia
Nil illegitimum carborundum!
Nil illegitimum carborundum!
Polly