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Ask any young child what sound a train makes and the answer will be some variation of "Chug-chug-choo-choo". But think about that sound - it's the sound of a steam locomotive. I'm about to turn 60 and steam locomotives were retired before I became a teenager, yet that archetype still pervades society.
Being currently unemployed I have had a lot of time to read the stories on this site lately. I just finished one that featured a very detailed and well written account of a guy who learns to be a woman. Naturally there were a great deal of emphasis on makeup, cleavage, the proper way to walk, fashion models, fashion magazines and suchlike. It was interesting, but struck me as about as connected to modern femininity as "Chug-chug-choo-choo" is to modern railroading.
Granted I'm an unrepentant hippie and my life revolves around the folk music scene so that puts me well outside the so-called mainstream and have to admit that my only connection to pop culture is the satire in Mad Magazine, but even watching women on the streets I fail to detect the culture of femininity reflected in most TG stories. My wife and the women in my circle of friends do not use makeup on a regular basis and don't walk around in high heels except on very special occasions. I haven't seen a mini skirt on anyone I know well in decades and I've NEVER seen a copy of Cosmo or its ilk on a coffee table in a friend's home. They don't follow fashion, go for makeovers or wear corsets. Some of them still don't even wear bras!
So why is it we, as crossdressers, seem to be stuck with this highly artificial and certainly dated idea of what constitutes femininity? Perhaps it's the very artificiality of the whole scene that makes it so attractive - it's so far removed from the real world we live in as men. Let's face it, if you were to dispassionately compare the everyday casual clothing I normally wear to most of my women friends the two main differences would be that the women can openly wear a bra and dangly earrings. Otherwise we are both wearing sneakers, socks, jeans, panties and some sort of t-shirt or blouse. If the weather is cool enough to hide it I'll be wearing a bra, too. Not much story potential there, so that may be why we need to exaggerate the difference in our stories.
Comments
Don't know where you live
Maybe it's a regional thing. But here in CA, "traditional" femininity is still alive and functioning, it's just not the only thing happening for women.
What you're saying is true but perhaps not as prevalent as it appears to you.
Many women wear no makeup except maybe for special occasions but that's always been true. Mini-skirts are on the racks and on the hips of lots of women under 40 and a few of them over that age (yikes). The malls are full of women shopping and the shop windows display dresses and girly shoes, etc.
A recent popular TV show, "Sex and the City" displayed a whole cast of characters that would be recognizable from a TG story.
The culture of femininity is still alive in the US but women are allowed to truck around in some very butch outfits without having their gender or sexual choices questioned these days, too. And from another blog today, it looks like things are going the same way for men in Japan.
Could a unisex world exist where both men and women could be free to choose how masculine and how feminine to be?
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
My last steam train
My house used to sit very close to a set of Railroad tracks in a place near San Diego. I can't remember if it was Chulla Vista, Incano, or Suncrest. I haven't been back there since I was a toddler. I still vividly remember a steam locomotive sitting on the tracks in front of it. The sight of a steam locomotive is still very romantic for me.
Oh, I wear a bra, as do most women around me; to keep my nipples veiled, and to make it so I can run if I need to. Otherwise, it hurts to damned much. Sure, lots of women wear pants, but I know many who hardly ever do. My femininity is part of me, but it is not all of me. I still drive, go shopping, go to resturants, help friends, volunteer, ride the bus, my bicycle, and go for long hikes; just like every other woman I know.
Have a great day.
Khadijah
Totally!!!!
Ricky,
About the reality vs. trans-fiction nature of femininity: you're spot on. (Same with railroad engines, too, btw).
*But*... popular media: television, magazines, the internet (non-fiction sites), the average movie and most *other* fiction, all have almost as big a disconnect with reality.... with the notable exception of a fairly large subset of young teenaged girls who try to live the media dream image.
Fiction is fiction, though, and the fantasy of a perfectly put-together face, outfit and hairdo... well, like you said, the reality of a banana clip in a sloppy pony, a smudge of concealer and the same jeans as yesterday... it bears exaggerating.
;-)
Michelle
public or private?
I think you have a real point in what you write.... There are the fantasy corners of our world where many of us like to hang out for a while. There are more, however, of the everyday corners of the world that you describe. Don't forget though that the private fantasy world often hides many of us who wouldn't dram of going out and, still more so, passing as a girly........ many of us go out with only our undies on, knowing that there are joys therein..... many of us have no hopes to 'pass' as a girl, and so rely on private moments/minutes/hours at home where we can be who we want to be... but larger than life....... I mean, do I dress in jeans and sneakers at home, do I hell! Do I go out dressed like Dolly Parton, nope! no siree! (but i might wear her undies!) Forgive me as a larger than life dresser at home - live how you wanna live. Love Ginger (in lil' England)!
Now that you mention it
I was wondering how all that I was reading around here related to my every day life, and I feel as much as you do that sometimes, feminity is taken too far to be realistic.
But, I also know that I my every day life is not typical, and certainly not filled with feminity. I study in an engineering school and most of the students are male, I have few friends, my mother is not the least bit feminine (she hasn't touched any make-up product in years). My sister is also an engineer, and even though she is probably more feminine than my mother, I don't see her very often.
So far, I'm struggling to find the right balance. That's not so difficult, be yourself, don't make yourself stand up too much and that's it. But I wish I had more clue about the world surrounding me.
But since I started HRT, I'm much more at ease with the world surrounding me, and I sure will find my way eventually.
I see your point of view,
I see your point of view, but look at it from mine. I have not dressed in many years and these stories are my outlet for doing what I cant for various reasons.
I will admit that a lot of the stories are actually caricatures of what femininity really is, but i enjoy it none the less and try to use my imagination and put myself in the stories.
Perhaps someone should write a story with an old steam train in it. Then again maybe I miss the point.
There's Nothing Cliche
. . . about a steam engine going into a tunnel.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Symbols
Since I'm more or less reacquainting myself with dressing it is something I've thought a lot about. After all there isn't a gene for liking to wear dresses, but there are the items and things that we associate with femininity. Many of them come from what we saw women wearing when we were kids. More than a few of those things are now hopelessly out of fashion, however that doesn't mean their power over us is any less.
During my foray of gathering clothes I was asked, does the feminine me likes this or does she likes that? Honestly, I while I enjoy looking nice, comfort has it's say too. I suspect that for Ricky's group of friends that is a primary consideration. Hey, most really nice looking clothes and accessories aren't the most comfortable things in the world. Just consider shoes for example.
Plus as we get older many of us have much less of a drive to impress anyone. Oh there are still those occasions we want to look nice, but for me it is the nice soft cotton T and a comfortably worn pair of jeans.
For most casual events like going shopping or other chores most of my friends of the feminine persuasion is happily dressed that way too. They might add a bit of lippy as our friends across the pond might say. If we're headed to dinner or to a movie then more makeup could be added. More formal wear usually only comes out for church and other events.
That's not to say I haven't seen women in 4 inch heels and dressed to the nines doing her shopping in the Walmart. The exception maybe but I have seen them.
So I have to say that the girly 24/7 look is uncommon perhaps even rare, but it is still out there.
Just my observations :)
Hugs!
Grover
An unusual perspective, perhaps.
I have to say that the idea of clothing is for me almost totally divorced from the idea of being female(or at least mostly female). You see, I'm a nudist at home and only really put clothes on to go out of the house, something which really doesn't happen all that often since I work at home. Granted, I haven't worn a stitch of male clothing for over a year, but what I do wear is mostly jeans and fairly plain blouses that just aren't all that noticeable. I just don't feel the need to get out there and be all lace and garters. That could have something to do with the way I was raised(Farm and ranch people where the women did the same work as the men).
Anyway, I thought I'd just throw my two cents into the ring and see what others have to say.
An interesting topic for discussion
I have found that my tastes in clothing have changed over the years.
I like to dress up and look good (nice clothes, makeup, medium heels) if I'm going out socially. I've just been on 2 week's cruising holiday; four nights were formal and I was happy to wear an evening dress. On other evenings, smart seperates were appropriate. Daytimes were spent in strappy tops and shorts or cutoffs.
Most other times, you'll find me in tee-shirt and jeans (ladies as they fit properly) and low-wedge shoes. I am six years post-op and sixty-four in December.
As a kid, I wore Mum's clothes and tried to be as girly as I could. This gradually mellowed with age.
Many people can't, for various reasons, go the route I've gone and, I think, need the 'virtual' crossdressing that TG fiction can provide. Thus they can live their dreams through characters whose development takes them down a similar 'girly' route to that which many teenage girls experience.
Susie
Here's what I like to wear...via illustration only...
...when I haven't dressed in years, I look more and more like my mother, and I feel like crying. Sorry, but I'm not the only one out here. Sad but coping. Love you!
She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea
Love, Andrea Lena
Praise God...
...I don't look like mine. :D
The Brat...herself!!!
BTW...
...it is known that girls mourn their mothers far longer than boys. My heart is always with you.
The Brat...AGAIN!!!
experimentation
The key phrase in your sentence was that the emphasis on makeup, mini skirts, heels and fashion magazines was when the character is "learn[ing] to be be a woman."
When those lucky enough to have been born female are learning to be women, during their teenage years, you'll notice that most of them also emphasize those same things. They usually eventually settle down to a less extreme look, but at first they usually go just as deeply into that feminine image as the transitioning male in a typical story around here, and they may also end up with a less extremely feminine affect; it's just that most stories deal with that moment of transition or shortly thereafter, so she's still experimenting.
I think this is exactly right
Besides the fantasy element and wish fulfillment, there is the experimental factor. It's so very true.
On the flipside, who's more interested in macho pursuits and accouterments than teen-age boys? Some T-men-and-boys go overboard there, too. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
What is there to say??
ALISON
As always,Andrea ,you have said it all.Everytime I look in the mirror I see my mother.But I can see where Ricky is coming from.Alison
ALISON
Keep in mind
Most of what those young children have along the lines of exposure to trains at all are from movies. In the 1970s was Casey Junior -- the train from Dumbo, who was a steam train. In the 80's was the 1897 model Rogers 4-6-0 mixed traffic engine, used by Emmett L. Brown (Doc Brown) to push the DeLorean and later itself turned into a time travel vehicle. Then there's Thomas the Tank engine, and so many shows taking place in the past...
Today's kids don't have exposure to "real" trains in the U.S. -- and do you know for certain what kids from other countries think a train sounds like?
Age Matters
If you're fairly young, then the proposition you make is valid, I think. For those of us who are just a little older, we do remember steam trains and what they sound like. (More important, perhaps: what they smell like. One whiff of the smoke coming out of a preserved locomotive's chimney and I'm instantly transported back 40 years.)
But I digress. I think that what forms the fashion sense of most of us is what our female relatives were wearing when we were growing up. For me, that means the late 50's to the early 70's. Up till the start of the flower power era, women wore extremely smart, tailored clothes whatever their class and job. After that, we had the long, hippy-style look and after that things went downhill. This was mainly due to women breaking out of the strict mould of blindly following fashion from one season to the next, and just wearing what suited them.
If you are younger than that, your look might be influenced by punk or New Wave romantics, who I must admit had some good ideas, although far too much make-up. Shell-suits, bleh. Ubiquitous jeans? No thanks.
The down side for me is that I keep wanting to dress younger than I am. This made me sound like a loser until I realised that a lot of women are just the same. We are the age we think we are, and most of us anyway don't have to face Real Life quite the same way that the genuine article does, so we can afford to fudge things a little.
I don't think it's such a great problem in any case. Think about all those women, real or otherwise, who indulge in LARP. Civil War crinoline? You betcha. Elizabethan stays? I'll give them a try. If you're halfway there, why not have some fun along the way?
Penny