I've noticed some disappointment in your blogs and thought I'd bring you some hope if not at least a way to look at yourself.
You wrote that you could never be Dorothy Colleen as a whole person unless you had surgery.

"I yam who I yam" Popeye the sailor

To me you are Dorothy Colleen, I've never met you in person only by what you write. I legally changed my name to Jill Micayla, had breast implants, and through regular interaction with other women I have come to know I am Jill Micayla. I am still waiting for surgery and due to an episode I will have to delay the surgery until November. Does that make me less whole?
not at all I am still me to me and I am Jill to all of my friends.

It isn't really about the surgery its about who you are and how you accept yourself before the surgery that counts. The surgery is just an added attraction that brings congruency to our mind and bodies. Nothing really changes. I'll still have the same bills, the same driver license except with an "F" and I will be losing a major part of my depression.

I am already Jill and to me if the surgery does not occur I will still be Jill.

Hope this helps you. Life is what you put into it and take out of it, its a daily experience with learning capabilties and some adversities. It is not a promise to continue but while you are living it make the best out of it you can. "When life hands you lemons, make chocolate milk!"

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.