just had another f#ing nightmare

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for the 2nd time in the last 3 days I had a nightmare. I thought all the rape counseling and stuff was supposed to help me with this crap?

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unfortunately

Yes. And no.

It's supposed to help you to know how to handle it, how to put it behind you, face it, and conquer it. Unfortunately nothing can ever strip the memories or the hurt. Even the fear. You unfortunately have to live the rest of your life dealing with these things...

The thing the counseling does is arm you with weapons to fight back, but that's all it can do.

And, I must say, you're doing a very good job of fighting back these days!

Abigail Drew.

Forgetting...

Andrea Lena's picture

...Abigail has it right; in therapy we gain the strength and the tools to deal with invasive memories and nightmares. It's really a matter of 'remembering' what was done to us in order that we can store the memories safely in the context of the here and now.

I've been having flashbacks and nightmares and night terrors every week for nearly three years. I'm stronger now than at any other time in my life, and I can attribute it in part certainly to the support I've received here. But it was also because I've been able to secure not one but two great therapists who have given me the tools that have helped me help myself.

A favorite quote of mine, which I believe exemplifies what Abigail said about you, Dorothy?

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Empathy

Dorothy,

I go to therapy. I have PTSD from combat and familial abuse. I use my meds to get throught the day and not have episodes. I still have nightmares and they are so vivid I wake up and don't go back to sleep. I used to have flashbacks from NAM, talking about things and understading that you can come to terms with your illness takes time and acceptance from you.
I was raped at age 32. I kept it to my self for 14 years. Once I talked about it and finally understood it wasn't my fault, yes I blamed myself for those 14 years.

I used to teach rape awareness classes and the things to do if one was suddenly attacked by a person who wanted to rape. I taugh the class after I had been raped. I would go home and cry after class.

I talk vividly with my therapist and have come to understand that I need not be in control of everything in my life. With the meds I take I have a balance life.
My nightmares still occur but not as frequently. I still have them and they still scare the sleep right out of me.

I try to write down the events and talk with my therapist.

If you have them you can write to me that should help you get the frequency down.

I try my best to not think of my rape, I dwell on my femininity and how far I have come since accepting myself as just another woman in this crazy world.

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.