I cannot dress within my house
Don't get me wrong, she loves me yes
But only me, without a dress
I don't like force femme in a chair
I don't like force femme anywhere
But sometimes I do, so what to say?
I feel guilty so I pray
If you make me dress then it's okay
I can't be blamed, be blamed today!
I feel so bad, for others too
Who cannot be the self that's true
And what about me, the dresser said
You can't just say, it's in my head
I like my body, I really do
But I want to be loved just like you
I don't hate my maleness, I like it well
But without my other self it's hell
I want to be just who I am
I want to be loved, Joan I am
But there are times I wish it, yes
That my change was more than dress
That I might change and be another
To be a sister instead of brother
I go back and forth every day
I suffer doubt in every way
For so long I've felt this way
To cry and weep most every day
But I don't hate who I am
I just don't know me, Joan I am!
Sometimes the things I feel are bad
I think they are, which makes me sad
Less than whole, not all I am
Incomplete, I feel I am
Not quite right, dear Joan I am
One thing of which I'm sure
What I have needs not a cure
Just understanding and love
Treasured by my God above
I wish I had just one who said
It's really not just in your head
You love and live to tell each other
We're much alike to one another
And while I wait for my wife
To treasure this part of my life
I thank God for all of you
I thank My God, dear Joan, I do.
With loving gratitude to Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss)