Finally Finding Myself Part 3 (Updated)

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Finally Finding Myself Chapter 3

Jamie was surprised to hear that Karen followed him home. He wiped the tears from his face with his shirt sleeve and headed down the stairs to the front door. He unbolted the lock, and let Karen in, with his eyes pointed downwards, ashamed to meet hers. He thought about how he had admitted to the entire school that his life was just an act. "I guess you must really think I'm a freak after that." Karen's eyes welled up, and she hugged Jamie tight. "I don't think you're a freak, and I really don't think you're weird either. I'm so sorry I said that Jamie."

"The truth is I do enjoy your company at lunch." She thought carefully before she said her next line since she didn't want to hurt Jamie again. "You seem so happy then, but you seem so different the rest of the day." Jamie backed out of their hug and his eyes got big. Did she suspect anything? It would be terrible if she found out he wanted to be a girl. He was a boy and boys just don't think like that. Karen saw the worry in Jamie's face and quickly added, "But after today I know why you act like that." Jamie gulped, expecting the worst. "With those jerks on your case so bad, it's no wonder you're not comfortable in school." Jamie relaxed, and Karen noticed immediately. "Thank goodness," she thought, "the hard part is over. Now I just have to make it up to him."

"You have more friends at school than you think. You might as well stay home now since school is almost out, but when you get to school tomorrow, don't worry so much. Just be yourself, I'll get the word out and we'll make sure that those jerks leave you alone." She smiled at Jamie and gave him another hug. "The kids at school will be glad to meet the real you. I know I'm glad I did." She left Jamie's house. "I'm going to head back to school. I promised Julia and Megan I'd meet them after school. See you tomorrow, and remember you have nothing to worry about."

Jamie sat after she left thinking to himself. How much of himself did he really want people to see? It's his natural behavior that got him in trouble in the first place. He couldn't let himself act like a girl, that's for sure. He definitely had to still try to copy the movements of the boys so he didn't stand out as a freak. But, no more acting stupid. He hated acting like that anyway. However, people noticed how odd he moved and acted, and he found that if he exaggerated it more, people would laugh at him rather than beat him up. If he really did have people watching over him as Karen said, then maybe he wouldn't have to worry about getting beat up. That thought brightened Jamie's mood considerably. "That's what I'll do then", Jamie thought. "No more acting weird, and I'll see where it goes from there."

When the rest of the family came home, Jamie was still in the living room thinking. His dad looked at him, "What's on your mind son?" Jamie looked back at his dad briefly, then turned his head towards his knees. "Nothing. I'm just thinking." Mr. Jameson noticed how sullen Jamie looked and decided that it was a good time as any to try to turn his mood around a bit. "Well, your mom and I have been talking, and we really think you should get out of the house more. We hate seeing you looking so down all the time. You really need to make some more friends. You should join the football team. You're the tallest kid in your school. You'd make a great linebacker." Jamie cringed at the tallest kid comment. He hated being so tall. He cried about it to his parents once when he was younger, but his dad just brought one of his friends' sons over to tell him how great it was for a man to be tall. Jamie hated the thought of becoming a man one day and almost told his dad right then and there that he wanted to be a girl, but thankfully he kept it in. His life had become terrible since when his family caught him in girls' clothes, Jamie shuddered to think what his life would be like if he actually told them that he wanted to be a girl.

Jamie's mind got back on track. Oh no, football. That's the last thing he needed. They smash into each other for fun. And that didn't seem like fun at all to Jamie. He wanted desperately to not get beat up anymore. Getting hit around in his free time sounded awful. "Actually, I was talking to Karen Clemens earlier. I'll probably be spending time outside of school with her."

Jamie's dad got a huge grin on his face. "So, you've got yourself a girlfriend?" He saw Jamie blush and picked him up into a bear hug. "Of course you do. You have the looks of your old man." Jamie cringed at that thought but gave his dad a forced smile. At least the football crisis seemed to be averted for the moment.

When Jamie's mom called the rest of the family in to dinner, his dad told her about Jamie's new girlfriend. Jamie blushed, and his mom told him that she'd love to meet her. When both his dad and his sister replied that they'd love to meet her too, Jamie knew that things had taken a sharp turn really quick. He barely knew Karen and hoped that he hadn't made things worse by bringing her up to his father.

That night Jamie tossed and turned as he thought of the day ahead of him. Will things get worse? Will Karen get mad at him because his family thought they were dating? Will he screw things up even worse by acting like a girl instead of acting less goofy? Will the kids see right through his charade?

The alarm went off, and Jamie woke with a start. He hadn't had a very restful night's sleep, but then again he hadn't rested well for years. "Well, time to face the music", Jamie thought. "Hopefully I don't screw things up too bad."

His mom and dad had already left, but his mom had left him and his sister their lunch money as usual. His sister would be up in 15 minutes to be in time to catch her bus, but he had to hurry off on his bike if he wanted to make it on time.

He made it just in time to hear an announcement calling Karen and him to the principal's office. "I'm very disappointed in you two for skipping school yesterday. Karen, I'll let you off with a warning since you've never been in trouble before. But this young man," he turned to Jamie with a stern face, "has been in my office too many times to count. I thought those days were behind us, but it seems they aren't. I'm afraid I'm going to have to call your parents and give you in-school suspension, Mr. Jameson. Karen spoke up, "Mr. Munsen, it's not Jamie's fault. He was being picked on by Jim Cleary and his friends." She held her head down as she continued, "I called him a freak. I didn't mean it, and I tried to tell him, but he broke down crying and was already out the door by the time I could say anything. I followed him home and apologized to him there." Mr. Munsen thought for a few moments. He did remember the commotion in the hallway. "Thank you for your honesty, Miss Clemens. Since no one was hurt from the commotion, I'll let it pass this time. I'm glad you're not resorting to violence to solve your disputes anymore, Mr. Jameson. But next time, come to my office instead of leaving the school grounds. I promise I'll always be here for you if you have a problem." The kids thanked their principal and went to their first class.

Jamie couldn't get the meeting with Mr. Munsen out of his head. "It seems like everyone is offering me support lately. I hope it stays that way." As he thought that, a rubber eraser hit him on the side of his head. It was shot by Brad Loomer, one of the football players. He and a group of his friends started laughing, and Jamie's thoughts of peace quickly dropped. "Knock it off you jerks. Don't worry about them Jamie, they're just idiots." It was Susan Thomas, another girl Jamie ate lunch with. They kept laughing, but Jamie smiled broadly. He never had anyone stick up for him before, and he had two people do it for him in one day. "With this much support, maybe I can try to be myself after all", he thought.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. All of the girls that Jamie sat with at lunch stuck up for Jamie, and the jocks never gave Jamie any trouble outside of the eraser incident, except that once during sixth period Math when Jim Cleary flicked him with his forefinger in the back of the head. Jamie soon realized that it wasn't the whole school that was against him, but just a small group of idiot boys. Jamie figured that he could live with that.

At the end of school, Karen surprised him by asking him if he wanted to go to Denny's after school with her friends. He thought back to his conversation with his dad. "I guess I really am going to be doing stuff with her." He smiled and said to her, "I'd love to."

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Comments

Story is developing nicely.

Story is developing nicely. It's good to have another chapter of this story, thanks.

WELL DONE !

ALISON
This is becoming a good little story and most enjoyable.

ALISON

This is a nice wee story.

This is a nice wee story.

I am also very impressed by the face pictured at the top. I don't think I have ever seen such a clear and absolute vision of complete and utter misery, created with just a few lines.

Isn't it wonderful how "a picture is worth a thousand words". No wonder our gifted and fortunate ancestors drew all over the cave walls the way they did!

Briar

Briar

Enjoying it

I like this series so far. It really hits home though. I was just about like him and 6 feet tall in eighth grade. Keep up the good work.
Hilltopper

Gina_Summer2009__2__1_.jpgHilltopper

I just can't understand

With so many 'incidents' with Jamie why did school do nothing - even installing a few surveliiance cameras in the hallways over the weekends would have uncovered the real culprits. But noooo, we be the adults, we know better who incorrigible.

Faraway


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Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


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This is spooky

It's like you distilled my entire experience of school into this story. It would have been nice to have had a friend. I was much the same, 6 feet, 185 pounds in 8th grade(I turned 12 that year[1984])and hated it. I got tormented a little, but I had one fight in 8th grade that stopped direct physical confrontation. In 9th grade, my father actually gave me permission to fight the guy who had hit me the day before. After that, no one bothered me in school. That was a good thing, in that no one tried to abuse me(except in Gym) but a bad thing in that no one spoke to me.

This seems to be telling a much happier story than mine. I certainly hope so.

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Finally Finding Myself Part 3

Like the drawing at the beginning of the story, captures the angst of Jamie, perfectly. And growing up, I went through a lot of the turmoil that he did because of my weight. Why I understand what others ere go through.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine