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There were just no boxers in my drawer, somehow "the maid" also known as mum, had failed to keep me suitably stocked. The house was empty so I walked through to the laundry on the vague hope that she had just failed to place them neatly folded in my bedroom ready to wear. The basket containing unfolded clean items was filled with orphan socks and a scattering of other items, digging into the basket revealed entire mountains of socks that once had partners and now spent all their time hoping to one day be reunited with their Sole Mate. My hands touched something silky as I dug around, grabbing it I pulled out of the piles of socks only to find a pair of my sisters white silk panties. You can imagine how fast I dropped them as if they had a fatal disease smeared all over them that would turn me into a giggling young girl lacking in all intelligence. Such is the concern that flashed through my brain moments before the sensual feelings made their run at invading my brain cells. Needless to say it was only minutes before I stood there wearing those very smooth knickers, rationalising that only hospitals had super bugs that could melt flesh and change normal people into babbling idiots.

Let me say at the start of this tale that I am, or should I say was, an articulate almost 20 year old third year engineering student at a very prestigious university. My grades can prove how good I was and my birth certificate can show that I was all male along with several bear skin rug photos stored away in the family albums until I turn 21. Anyway back to the story of that fateful day just before midyear break. Alongside the basket was a pile of clothes sorted into whites colours, and darks, a pattern that my mum had tried to instill in me as the starting point for the washing. On the top was a sheet of paper that read "Please feel free to practice doing the washing, PS it won't kill you - Mum (not the maid)." I was late for classes so wearing the silk pants was the only way around the issue of nothing to wear, maybe commando would have been safer? They did feel nice all through the day and by the time I got home and ready for bed I placed them carefully at the bottom of my wash basket.

Monday came around and it was the start of four weeks of break, some simple assignments to finish and then a few days away with the family who by this time had left for work. Mum worked at a local company as their PR manager, Dad was away in China but due back in three weeks. My sister was almost 18 months younger than me but every bit as tall as I was, or should that be that I was as short as she was? Either way we had the same build and I thought at time we looked very similar in hair and facial features. She was called Kelly and I was called Kerry, tell me about it.

As I entered the kitchen to forage for food in dark places such as the refrigerator and pantry I came across the A4 sized note on the bench. It read: I know that sometimes you see this house as a full service hotel and me as your personal maid but it would really help if you could manage to do the washing today - signed your loving mother. The old guilt trip method, which meant she was in need, I turned to the laundry to find all of the clothes in four piles. The coloured pile had far more clothes than the other two and had been split into delicates and not so delicates with a matching bra and knickers just like the pair I had worn last week. Sometimes I can be slow but not today, it was less than thirty seconds before I had replaced my shorts and T shirt with the bra and knickers, they felt so nice and the padding meant I had some shape as well. I grabbed my bits and headed back into my bedroom to look in the mirror, now that made time stand still as I studied the image on the mirror. It was not the normal me but it was definitely "Me", something within me just said "this is the real Kerry."

My image was slight and curvy with light brown hair that flowed over my shoulders and soft skin that looked gentle, no other word for it, I looked gentle. I slipped my sport shorts on and a simple white vest over the top, the narrow straps and square front looked very much like a tank top that Kelly wore but I slept in mine. The image did not change, the shape, hair and smile seemed to say again "this is the real Kerry" but I could only stare at the smile and feel the glow inside. Nobody was going to be home today so I stayed as I was and went to put the washing on, darks first with two heaped spoons of powder. I ate breakfast and then started to clean my room, beats me why, it must have been some of those girl germs that infected my brain at times. By the time I had finished in my bedroom the second round of washing was ready for hanging out to dry.

As I started loading the next load into the machine the front doorbell rang, now call me blonde but I forgot all about the clothes I had on. I think the postman just enjoyed the look, took my signature on his pad, wished me a good day and went onto the next delivery. Nothing strange except as I placed mums parcel on the hall dresser I looked into the face in the mirror; fluffy hair with red rosy cheeks and a nice shape. This was me, let me say that again "THIS IS ME". All those years of not feeling right or feeling like something was just not the same as other people, came flooding into my head. This was truly me, there was no tension or doubt in my mind as I studied the girl with brown eyes and rosy cheeks that slowly had tears forming before cascading down her face. Epiphany is the best word to describe what was happening to me, the lights had been turned on and I could see clearly now what had been hidden or blurred in the past.
With light comes action and I wanted to get some of my own clothes, must have been the girl germs driving me to retail therapy, or it could be just me knowing that turning back was not going to happen. I mentally apologized to my absent sister as I raided her closet and found what I thought would be a suitable set of clothes and shoes for shopping. A pair of kitten heels with white and yellow skirt and cotton blouse over the bra and knickers that I was already wearing but something didn't look quite right. I had hairy legs, not very much but enough to spoil the image so reached into Kelly's drawers and pulled out some skin tone pantyhose, good enough to camouflage the legs and make them better to look at.

Two pairs of pantyhose rolled up and stuffed into each bra cup made a world of difference, to the shape of the blouse and my feelings. My sister had makeup scattered all over her vanity table but it was just a light coat of lipstick that met my lips. Before leaving I stopped at the front door and considered the wallet keys and phone I had in my hands, handbag I thought and dashed back to Kelly's room for another acquisition.

It may seem like this was something that I had planned many times but trust me I had never so much as dreamt about wearing her clothes or played at dress up. Without any fear or hesitation I left the house and started my car, well sort of my car, it was a pale blue Hyundai that Dad had bought for mum and she passed it down the line to me when she got the new Honda Jazz. Nothing seemed out of whack, the world was bright and colourful as the birds flew across the autumn sky and the radio played easy listening music, just another day in paradise. Shopping centre's can be great places to be seen or to hide, neither of these came to mind as I parked the car and headed into the mall in search of my own clothes. Having the name of Kerry meant I could use my ATM card without any fear, even if I had thought about it before hands. So many things to do and so little time, my logical mind started making lists of clothes and accessories that I would need but my visual mind took over a soon as I hit the ladies department.

Shopping is different for each gender as men see and buy but women need to confirm and match then consider the alternatives and weigh it all up again while looking for better prices. A simple task took several hours as I purchased several pairs of everything girly and stored them in the boot of my car before returning for my fun. It did become more fun and less agricultural as I went on. Colour and feel made me look better or worse, sales assistants came and talked about how good it looked but I got the sense that some of them only sought a sale rather than my best. Still, the number of bags increased and space in my car decreased as the day wore on punctuated with coffee and lunch breaks before I felt the only missing item was makeup.

As I entered the front of the department store I could see five islands of colour with names that I knew meant high price, several had women demonstrating or selling. I chose an island where it looked like I could browse without being pushed into buying the world especially since I had no idea what I would need. It may have been obvious to everyone that I was lost at sea with no hope of sorting it all out but they let me browse for several minutes until a young girl turned up at the counter beside me.

"You seem a little distracted can I help explain anything?" she asked in such a gentle manner that made me feel like I could trust her.

"Yes please, I need to be more involved in making a good impression at work" I had thought through a scenario that made sense to me in case of being asked.

"Do you normally wear foundation or just basic lipstick?"

"Actually what you see is all that I use, haven't been much of a makeup person" I said quite truthfully.

"My name is Tina why don't you sit down here so we can test your colour profile and skin type" she said smiling in a most disarming way.
Tina used sashes of colour placing them over my shoulder and chest until she declare she had my "season", whatever that meant.

Over the next hour she painted, brushed, outlined, dusted, and finally spritzed, but most of all she went into great detail about what it all meant for me depending on the time of place and style or image I was wanting to portray. Tina painted my nails and brushed my hair to one side as she inserted a comb behind my ear. If this morning had been an epiphany and turning on the lights then this was like a thunder storm of lighting effects. My eyes sucked me into the mirror while the smile grew wider each second.

"What do you think?" Tina asked as I sat motionless in front of her mirror.

"Wow, can I take you home with me?" was all that came out of my mouth, if the image at home was me then this was me on steroids.

"I assume that you like the things that I showed you, would you like to buy some of them?" Tina asked making the sales push that she would have been taught.

"Some, I think I need the lot and you had better include brushes and anything else I need" my mouth said these things while my eyes still held me like retractor beams from an alien space ship.

Tina smiled as she collected several items at the cash register, "let me show you a better way" she said lifting down a metal toolbox type of device. She opened it up like a mechanics tool set to display brushes of many size and thickness alongside tools for eye lashes, nails, and lips. It contained pots of powder and disks of eye shadow and ten different eye liner pencils, spare drawers for pins and clips.
The downside was the cost, with cleansers and moisturizer it came to over three hundred dollars but Tina assured me that this was an investment in looking good in every situation and threw in several freebies such as makeup bag and some samples. All up this would last me a good two years she said and I could come back at anytime and ask for her help.

Let's just say that the girl that walked out of there was totally different to the one that had stood there earlier, she had confidence plus with a large dose of beauty for all to see. It may have been my imagination but I was sure that my walk had become more like sailing along a gentle river, smooth and effortless as I looked in store fronts on my way back to the car. Tina had made mention about my ears and the lack of earrings being unusual for people my age so on a whim I stopped at one of the chemists and asked about piercing and how long it would take. Twenty minutes later I had two studs and two hoops with cleaning solution as I continued back to my car, this time I made it.
Mid afternoon and the world was still bright and happy, but how do I tell mum and sis that they have another girl in the house?

I unpacked the car and placed each of the bags in my bedroom, some in the wardrobe and others alongside my desk. Glancing up at the mirror wasted another five minutes as I studied my new face before snapping out of it all. I had a plan that seemed as logical as anything else I had done this day, SMS to Kelly about a movie date and my shout for dinner. We did this every so often when we needed to talk so she was quick to reply agreeing to meet at the normal cinema.

Now the dilemma that every girl has "what should I wear?" I said, looking at all the shopping bags. First thing was to find the lingerie bag or bags and then match it to a comfortable skirt and top, white silk underwear and blouse with a dark blue knee length skirt. Top it all off with "Smoky" hose, medium heels and a liberal amount of jewelry that I had also bought today. One of the necklaces that I had picked up was several loops of dark and light blue beads interspersed with white lumps of plastic to break up the colours. All up a very credible image for a semi professional girl, I knew Kelly would be coming straight from her office job and as the junior she had to keep up the appearance of being one of the crowd. Mum would be home at 5pm so I had just about an hour to finish the final load of washing and secure my bedroom, then hang the washing on the line, I was out of the house by 4:45 carrying my new purse with lipstick and tissues.

My plan was to purchase the tickets before Kelly got to the cinema and meet her in the foyer then walk her into the dark before she could ask too many questions. I parked and entered the cinema to make sure the movie was available before sitting and enjoying a cup of coffee and chance to think. In my head was the famous phrase from Steve Irkle, "Did I do that?" did I really go out of the house dressed in a skirt, buy way too much and now sit here looking like a hot date.

"What was I thinking, Kelly will laugh all the way through the movie" I said inside my head as nerves built up threatening to kill the plan I had put together. Too late, she had entered the foyer and was looking around, our eyes met and she kept going around the room not recognizing me. Kelly speed dialed my phone before I could get to her, she heard it go off just as I stood up and approached her. The penny dropped and so did her jaw,

"Hi sis, I've already got the tickets lets go inside" I said taking her arm gently.

"Kerry?" she muttered.

"Who else would be meeting you here, sister dear?" I said continuing towards the entry.

"But how, why…." She asked trailing off as she had far too many questions to ask and nothing like answers filling the void.

"Let's get inside then I can answer some of those questions"

We chose a couple of seats at the far edge of the room away from the main crowd that would come in, although only twenty or so people would be at a five thirty screening. As soon as we sat down I could see her mind racing ahead trying to get the questions into a logical sequence so I cut her off and gave her the short cut version.

"So, there we have it all along I should have been your sister. Now how do I tell mum about it?"

"Stop, are you saying that you intend to change sex, is this a joke or are you serious?" Kelly asked shaking her head from side to side.

"Let me say it again, this is who I am, who I was meant to be" the words leaving my mouth but not getting into her brain. Maybe I had misjudged her, I though Kelly would see the real me and go along with my decision, maybe I was wrong.

"OK, let's assume that mum sees your side of the story there is always Dad to get around and you have no hope there"

"One step at a time, what about you, do you see the real me?" I said looking deeply into her eyes as if trying to read her mind and finding only confusion. Gradually she nodded then reached out to hug me, not the normal type this was like a homecoming hug, she squeezed and held me closely.

"Yes I do see the real you, I just knew you weren't like the other guys at school" Kelly said hugging me again as tears slowly appeared in both of our eyes.

The film was average but being there with sis made it all seem so much better, we held hands and giggled at the most inopportune time before walking out of the cinema. Kelly stopped me in the foyer and said she had to use the toilet, suddenly my bladder was full and the realization that I would have to use the same room - The Ladies.

"Just copy me and don't stare at anyone, you'll be fine" Kelly prompted as she opened the outer door to the inner sanctum of femininity, which by this time was getting quite busy due to the main screening. I found a cubicle, stepped in and closed the door. I breathed again, lowered my hose and hitched up my skirt as if in a dream, breathed again. Sat down and started to relax, shit, forgot the panties, stood up and pulled them down before sitting at last ready to do my business. Breathed again.

"Kerry, are you okay?" Kelly whispered through the door.

"Yes, just don't leave me here" I replied as I finished off rearranging my skirt. My Skirt, what a thought, last week I had nothing but guy wear and now I could easily throw the whole lot out the window. I am not going back to being the false me.

Kelly was at the mirror reapplying her lipstick and checking her makeup, I did the same looking at both of us as we stood there comparing ourselves.

"How could we ever have missed this, we are so alike" Kelly chuckled as she hugged me again.

"Great, let's eat and figure out how we can get mum on side" and we walked out of the cinema ready to eat.

Next time - Will there be laughter in the house or tears, will mum see the Real Me