I, Monster. chapter 9.

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Who was Sarah? I didn't know an I called Sarah.

"Nurse Gracie, who is Sarah?"

Nurse Gracie didn't answer, she just made a noise.

A booming sound happened, three sharp booms that did that thing Doctor Reg and I had done with our voices before. In the hall I could hear Fido make screamy noises. He was getting louder.

I moved Nurse Gracie again; I was impatient, but I had to be gentle. "Nurse Gracie, who is Sarah?"

Nurse Gracie opened her mouth wide and made a noise, then opened her eyes. "AHH!" she yelled, and tried to move away. So I held on. I could hear Fido click-clack on the stone, and then he started screaming softer.

"Floor that way!"

"Jesus, Mary, you gave me a fright!" Nurse Gracie said (told me?) holding herself. Then she switched to me while asking: "Why did you wake me up, you little bundle of energy? Couldn't you sleep? It's only seven...."

What was Jesus?

"You forgot Joseph," Randolf said, making a noise like Nurse Gracie had and rolling over, away from us.

Joseph was a name. It sounded like a name. Who was Joseph?

"So why wake us, Mary? What's wrong? Can't you sleep just a little more?" Nurse Gracie asked, her mouth going wide again then clacking closed as she put a hand over it.

"Who is Sarah?"

More booms boomed. Nurse Gracie rose in an instant and shed the blankets, heading to the window. "Oh, shit."

That was one of the words!

Nurse Gracie turned and ran for the door. Which seemed like fun, but the blankets wouldn't let me go anymore. "Randolf, watch her! Slow her down, something!"

Nurse Gracie then shut the door, just as I got to it! My nose squished against the door as Randolf finally talked again.

"Wait, what?"

Randolf sounded like I did; how could he do that? What was it, the thing? Dis... dis... confused?

"Randolf, who is Sarah? Does Sarah here?"

Randolfs eyes got so big. How did he do that? "That's 'Does Sarah live here', and no she does not. Come away from the door please, and I'll read to you. Would you like me to finish Grendel, or read something a little more fun?"

I liked fun, but fun was outside the door, not in a stuffy old book full of darkness. Randolf was getting out of bed, making weird sounds. Good, he could join too! I let him get closer then I opened the door and went out; I left the door open because I didn't want Randolf to squish his nose. He might not like it. He didn't like squished hands.

Was it just Randolf? Nurse Gracie said some of the same things....

Dowwnnn the stairs, and I could hear a door open, then shut just as quickly. That was where the fun was, where a new other I was that I had not met before.

"Mary!"

Randolf was running, as expected, and behind him, Doctor Reg was too! Doctor Reg was even leaning forward and waving his arms! What a fun game!

My foot went off and I rolled down the stairs, which proved to be even faster! There was no way Randolf or Doctor Reg would catch me now, even if the room was spinning!

I found the door, but it wouldn't open.

"Mary, are you alright?!?"

"She's laughing doc, I'm pretty sure she's fine. Mary, come away from there!"

I could hear words on the other side of the door, but not what they were. There was a big piece of wood that went across the door, but it wasn't there now, it was placed to the side. Why wouldn't the door open? Did I have to try harder?

No, there was something else... the door handle?

Randolf reached me, and put his arms on me. "Got you! Now will you listen? Please?"

He was making a weird noise, sort of blowing like the wind did.

I always listened, so I nodded yes. "Door."

"It's locked, Mary, and Nurse Gracie didn't want you out there. So why don't we just go back upstairs and...

With a creak and a smaller boom, the handle turned and the door began to open. I helped it along, and heard Nurse Gracie clearly on the other side as she moved away from it.

"Ahh!" she said while taking quick steps.

And then I was out, in the bright and warm sunshine with a new other I.

An other I that was also playing a game! She stopped for a minute with her mouth open, and then wrapped herself around me as her eyes leaked. "Sarah! It is you!"

That wasn't how the game worked. "Mary."

The other I had yellow hair, and many lines and grooves on her face. Her blue eyes were blackened around the edge, and she like a bundle of sticks as she held on to me with great strength.

"Mary." I told her.

Randolf and doctor Reg came out. "Aw, crapsickle sticks." Doctor Reg said.

"What did you say, honey?" The other I asked, her arms still around me.

Nurse Gracie made a noise.

"Mary! My name is Mary!"

The other I stopped and looked right at me. "No, your name is Sarah, and you are my daughter."

Doctor Reg and Nurse Gracie stepped close, and grabbed her arms. "No, Mrs Jacobs, Mary is Mary, and she's very confused about who you are and why you're here."

They helped Mrs Jacobs off and away from me, which was good because I didn't want to hurt her. From the noises she was making, it would have been worse if I'd done it.

"No! Noooo! Let go! You... quack! That's my daughter!"

What was a daughter? I didn't think I was one, something seemed wrong about that, but I didn't know what.

"I told you Mrs. Jacobs, that if you saw her again, it wouldn't be her inside. I explained that quite clearly. Your daughter... She isn't here, and you know it."

Mrs. Jacobs wriggled. "No! She's right there!"

Birds flew, I think because she was so loud? "No, I'm Mary. Who is Sarah?"

She looked at me. Really looked, and she saw me at last, I could tell. Even as her eyes leaked, she stopped wriggling and smiled at me.

"So I see. Mary, right?"

I nodded.

"My name is Erica. You can call me Erica."

"Okay!"

I was outside. I was outside in the sunshine, and everyone was here. Even Fido was here, to the side, watching everything. So the game had to cont... keep going!

"Mary!" Randolf said, really loud, and the birds flew again. I could hear him as he came after me, feet pounding in the grass.

More feet in the grass, as Fido came along, and I could hear Nurse Gracie whisper something from right behind me!

"Gonna catch you!" Fido told me. "She's right behind you!"

I looked and she was there! I could reach out and touch her! I had to get away!

She reached out and poked me. "Tag, you're it!"

I stopped and then fell over. "Haaaa." I could do the thing Randolf did without trying! That was...odd?

Nurse Gracie had bare feet. I had bare feet! Oh no, Nurse Gracie would get mad! She sat next to me, and didn't seem to care.

Erica and Doctor Reg were talking, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. Erica still had leaking eyes, but she was nodding along to whatever Doctor Reg was saying, biting on her hand. Wouldn't that hurt?

"Mary, don't bite your hand. You could hurt yourself."

I thought so!

I stopped, but Erica didn't. She must not be able to hear Nurse Gracie. Randolf slumped beside me, a hand draped over me as he made more wind noises. "I am out of shape."

Randolf had a shape. it was like the others I's I knew. What did he mean?

"Not your fault. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to try and hold on to her. You're better, but you're not well."

I think they are talking about me. But why? I was right here.

"She took a tumble down the stairs, but jumped right back up. I think she got a little... better."

Nurse Gracie turned to me, and gave me a look I didn't like. "oh, really? Fell down the stairs, you say? Could it be she wasn't careful?"

Why did Randolf tell? We were having fun!

"Oh my, she's not happy with me at all."

He knew, but I decided to tell him anyway. "Jerk move."

"Jerk... move?" Nurse Gracie asked.

I nodded. "Fun game, and now Mary is in trouble."

Nurse Gracie hugged me. "He's just worried about you. No one here wants you to get hurt."

"But I didn't?" Did people get hurt so easily? I did not. Would Nurse Gracie, or Randolf? Doctor Reg?

"Yes Mary, we avoid trying to dive headfirst down staircases."

I shook my head and pointed to my feet, putting one of the other. "That happened."

"You tripped over your own feet?"

Randolf made it sound bad. I nodded. "Sometimes they... don't work?"

Nurse Gracie nodded. "Excellent, Mary. That was a good sentence and an adequate explanation."

I paid attention, I might need that speech later.

"Well, Lucky for us, you didn't break anything. You bounced right back up... did you really not feel it?"

Feel... feel... "I did feel it, but it didn't feel bad."

"You mean it didn't hurt, don't you Mary?"

I nodded. Hurt was the right speech.

"Regardless, you could have gotten hurt. Neither of us want that." Nurse Gracie made a wind noise. "Mary, this isn't the first time your feet have gotten crossed, right?"

I looked at my feet. Maybe they were the real jerks! I shook my head.

"Right, so maybe you shouldn't try to go so fast in the castle? It's made of stone, and stone can be very painful to run into. It can hurt a lot, and make other things not work. Since we don't want that for you, how about you just run like that out here in the grass? Away from the stone and the trees?"

Nurse Gracie's arm swept the hill and field beyond. I looked.

"I... okay." It was to keep me from getting hurt? Could Randolf or Nurse Gracie get hurt like that too? They moved fast when I moved fast, could their feet cross too?

"I'm sorry!"

"Oof! Mary, it's fine, so long as you understand. You can let me up now, I need to make breakfast."

My tummy made noises. So did Randolf's. Nurse Gracie frowned at us until her tummy made noises too. Then she laughed.

I like to laugh.

We all got up; I helped Randolf. Fido jumped around us, still laughing, as we went slowly back to the door.

"When we're done with breakfast Mary, we can all come outside and play. Well Randolf probably won't, but I bet we can get the Doctor to fill in."

Randolf looked... hurt? No, not that. Something. I tugged on his arm, gently and he smiled down at me, but he didn't look smiley.

"Sorry Mary, I'm a bit tired. I don't know how you and Grace do it."

Tired, that was it! But how do I um, answer this? What could I do?

That was it! I patted his hand. "It's okay, I forgive you."

Randolf made noises with his mouth that I didn't know, and Nurse Gracie laughed.

"Well done, Mary! Excellent acceptance of an apology! You remembered that from somewhere."

I hugged Nurse Gracie. She always seemed to understand me.

Randolf just made grumbly sounds.

"....I told you not to accept their calls." Doctor Reg said as we got close.

"I know, but I just... They said she was... active, and I had to see." Erica said.

Doctor Reg turned to us. "Breakfast time?"

Nurse Gracie nodded. "I'll get right on it, Doctor."

"Erica, would you like to join us? You haven't eaten yet, have you?"

Erica was looking at me again, with her leaky eyes. "I'd love to."

"Come on Mary, let's go first. You can watch me cook again. Randolf can you do me a favor and set the dining room before you go back to sleep?"

I liked watching Nurse Gracie cook.

"Sure, I can do that. But I won't set a place for myself."

Nurse Gracie smiled back at Randolf. "That's fine, I'll save it in the fridge for later."

We went into the kitchen, where the dangerous stuff I couldn't touch was. Nurse Gracie was amazing because she could, and knew what everything did.

"If you want to watch, Mary, you sit right in that chair. No, the one against the wall. You stay put right there, and you'll be away from anything dangerous."

I nodded. Nurse Gracie knew how to deal with the dangerous things in the kitchen, and I did not. I wondered why the kitchen was called the kitchen again. I would ask later.

The box that made heat and sometimes fire was called the oven. I remembered. Nurse Gracie put the kettle on it, and grabbed a pan... no, a skillet? Why was it called a skillet? It was different from the other pans, or it wouldn't have its own name. Not as tall? That could be it!

Nurse Gracie grabbed some things from the 'fridge' box, and broke them in the skillet. Then she washed her hands. Then she turned the fire on, and soon things began to sizzle. I swung my feet around but stayed in the chair.

Doctor Reg came in and began putting water in his thing. The cof... coffee maker! It made mud that didn't taste like mud, but I was told not to drink any. He left while the thing worked.

I wanted to try it, and Fido told me he would get me some later, but Nurse Gracie was around all the time so he hadn't yet.

I could hear Randolf in the room down the hall, the one we never used, setting up dishes. Why there, when we normally had food here? Wait, there were three chairs here... and Nurse Gracie, Doctor Reg, Erica, and Mary was four people. So we needed more space!

The stuff in the skillet continued to sizzle. The smell was a memory, too. Eggs? Chicken eggs. There was also a better smell, a more... a more yummy smell. That one I didn't know. There was so much I didn't know, and it was awful.

But I knew that I knew so little, and that was more than before. I could look out now for things I didn't know.

I waited. Nurse Gracie would want us all to eat together, I was sure of it. Even if my food didn't take as long to pre... prep... deal with.

Nurse Gracie was moving a flat thing around in the black skillet with quick motions. She pulled the skillet up and took the flat thing out and the eggs were stuck on it. She flipped them and went back to poking at it.

That was so great! It flew into the air, and back into the skillet! No spills!

"Oh you liked that, did you Mary?"

Nurse Gracie knew because I was laughing. She was laughing too. Even Fido was smiling; Fido always smiled.

Nurse Gracie flipped the eggs again, they were solid now and mostly flat. I clapped as she put them on a plate. She smiled, then added the other things I'd been smelling. Small flat brown things that made a "sss" noise.

They stopped once out of the skillet though.

Nurse Gracie started all over again. I watched. If I kept watching, I would know how to do it myself.

There was more to this, these... actions. Would I know it all when the time came?

I watched more.

My tummy was rolling around inside me by the time Nurse Gracie was done, and she grabbed the massive flat thing... plate full of flat eggs and went into the hall.

"Mary, could you carry that other plate please? The one with the sausage on it?"

That must be the other flat things. I grabbed the plate and followed.

Doctor Reg passed me, with one eyebrow higher than the other. "Be careful Mary, it would be a shame if you dropped the sausage."

I was careful. I set the plate down next to Nurse Gracie's and she helped me move it. "Now come on, let's get yours. You've been very patient, and we're almost ready now."

I followed Nurse Gracie again, and we passed doctor Reg again. He had the coffee in one hand, and a plate of... bread in the other hand.

Nurse Gracie got my food out of the fridge, and my straw, and a knife. She wouldn't let me help with that, but she let me carry all the bottles of water, which was harder than it looked.

Fido followed us, but he didn't help at all, he just smiled at us.

I put the water at the places Randolf had set up. Now I knew why Randolf wanted to go. This took too long!

"Thank you... Mary." Erica took her water, took the very hard top off, and ate some.

"You are welcome!" I remembered this, it was manners.

I waited while everyone sat down and got their food. Nurse Gracie did not want me to use sharp things yet, or make a mess. Nurse Gracie got to my plate and set a clear tall cup on it. "We're going to try from a glass this time, and not the bag. It's more polite. You'll still have a straw though, and you better use it."

I nodded. I would try not to be messy, I already said I would before!

Nurse Gracie used the knife so well nothing spilled, and she filled the glass (a new word, I remember!). Then with the 'plunk' sound of a straw in the glass, my breakfast was ready. Nurse Gracie then put the cloth around my front so I wouldn't make a mess of my clothes.

Erica looked at my food. "Is that...?"

"It is. It is the only thing Mary can eat or drink aside from water, as her stomach doesn't actually work yet." Nurse Gracie said.

That's right, it's my food, and you can't get any, you have your own!

"Quit pouting Mary, she doesn't want your food, nice as it is. She was just curious."

What was curious? Had I been told before?

I used the straw and while it was cold, it was good.

"So how does she..?" Erica asked. She was bad at asking questions.

"We think it pools in her, where it is broken down and used to rebuild by Mary herself."

Was I doing that? I don't remember doing that, and I don't have any idea how I would. Don't you need a hammer to build stuff?

"Mary herself?"

"You know. You've seen her." Nurse Gracie said, before opening her water and taking a small drink.

Erica looked back at me. "Right, the... young lady herself."

I smiled at her, and she moved back, turning to her old food. Just like Nurse Gracie had before, so maybe that was normal to seeing my tasty food. But it was not the same as the other I's food. Maybe they didn't think it was tasty? But it was!

"How do you get it?" Erica asked.

"Donations mostly," Doctor Reg said. "Everyone here who can contributes, and I've also got a deal with the local clinic. I believe that batch is my own from some days ago."

"And you're okay with that? What if she decides she likes the taste?" Erica asked.

I dont get it. Of course I like it, or I wouldn't be eating it!

"There is almost no risk of what you propose, and I would not stop even if there were. You know what is at stake here, Mrs. Jacobs. You of all people understand what is at stake here."

What is a stake? Did I see it and just not know?

"I'll explain later, Mary." Nurse Gracie said.

She was giving Doctor Reg the same look she gave me when I fell down the stairs. Doctor Reg moved a bit back and ate a piece of brown thing.

Doctor Reg made a noise, then said: "Right, Mary, would you like some more?"

I blinked and looked down. My food was gone! How had that happened? When had that happened? I nodded.

"Go ahead. Nurse Gracie, if you would?"

Nurse Gracie looked down at her own food. She wasn't done!

"Come on Mary, let's go into the kitchen this time. Grab your glass and carry it carefully."

What was the word? I couldn't remember! I pointed at her plate, and Nurse Gracie smiled. "Don't worry Mary, I can finish it later."

Nurse Gracie grabbed my hand and we walked out. She went first and I had to hold my glass with one hand.

"Normally Mary, you'd only get one glass, because it's very important that you don't overeat. But after last night, both Doctor Reg and I think you could use a little more, just this once. It might hasten your recovery."

Has-ten? Recovery? No, don't get distracted.

"Stake?"

"Oh, that's what you were worried about? It means a vested interest. Hm, like you have a stake in what goes on in the kitchen. You want to know what happens because you live here."

Erica didn't live here. Would Erica start living here?

"Erica?"

Nurse Gracie made a wind noise. "Her stake here is a little different, but she and the Doc are friends. She gave Doctor Reg a few things in return for his help with an experiment, and it didn't pay off for her. So she's sad about that."

Nurse Gracie used her other arm to move her hair up and away from her head then looked down at me and said it again. "Just a little sad. Nothing to worry about."

"Has-ten?"

"It means to speed up, Mary. To move faster."

I liked new words. "Recovery?"

"It means to get better. Pretty soon, you'll know more than me, but you lost some of that when you took so long to wake up. In your case, recovery means you'll get all that back."

So recovery meant I would know everything, just like I had before. I didn't remember knowing everything before, but maybe I had.

Nurse Gracie smiled, and I could feel myself smiling back.

I sat down at the table and handed my glass over. Nurse Gracie grabbed more food from the fridge and filled it, and I was... happy, eating away. The taste was... great. It was great!

"Finish up Mary, then we can go play again if you want."

I nodded. I would like that very much.

......

Grace sipped her coffee, a long and leisurely filled sip. Outside she could see Mary and Fido running around the yard, playing tag. For now, it was enough to keep the little bundle of lightning occupied.

"So, did you get through to her?"

Doctor Reginald Stutz, her erstwhile boss, sipped his coffee alongside her. "I think so. She seems to realize that while the body is the same, the soul, the person, is different. I doubt she will give up all claim, but for now, she won't be doing anything court enforced."

Grace scoffed. "As if she has a legal leg to stand on. Her daughter is dead, and has been for a decade."

Doctor Stutz's answer was both instant and stern. "Be that as it may, I won't antagonize her. It is because she took a risk with me, that we got Mary."

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it," Grace replied. "It's just been a bad day. Waking up at seven am after staying up till four because she decided on a surprise visit didn't help."

"She didn't really have a choice. The others put her up to it; dropped a word or two in her mouth and let her imagination fill in the blanks."

"What do you intend to do about them?" Gracie asked. There would be trouble either way, she was sure of it.

"I don't know, but it's pretty clear something needs to be done. Something proactive. I might call him in on it.

There was only one 'him', and Grace had to work to keep the distaste off her face. "Are you sure you want to do that? The cost... "

Doctor Stutz turned to her. "The cost will be more than I want to pay, certainly. But he will be involved eventually regardless of what I do, and his involvement would stop the others cold, one way or the other. None of us will even need to dirty our hands."

"I don't like it."

Doctor Stutz sighed. "I know, and I don't either, but you know who they are as well as I do. They broke in here, and they will do it again. Unless they are convinced otherwise, of course."

Outside, it seemed the games were winding down. "Alright, it's your call to make, both literally and figuratively. I'll go get the little bundle of energy and see if I can convince her to sleep."

"What a great idea, we could all use some. I'll try and get him to set a time, this time."

"Thanks, that would make my job easier. Say, sir..."

"Doc is fine Grace, I've told you that. what is it?"

Grace smiled, an impish grin. "Sir, how close is she?"

Doctor Stutz paused a moment - a long moment that was just one side of uncomfortable - before answering. "She is very close. Some things are different, and of course she's not as mature, but it's easy to see the person I once knew. We have succeeded in that much, at least."

Grace bowed on her way out the door. "I see. Thanks for sharing with me."

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Comments

Slow Progress

Mary is very interesting. I'm not understanding the outsiders that are viewed as dangerous, unless they are greedy and interfering? I hope that she can be kept safe from them.

The dangerousness of some Medical professionals is not a stretch for me. The Psychology folk are especially despicable.

Gwen

Gwen Brown...

Yes, when the point of view is Mary, it's hard to determine who wants to do her harm and why, if at all. It'll get better in that regard.

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I knew it!

I mean it was obvious because this was BCTS but I fully belive Mary has his soul in her, and evenntually will come to! He may not like being in a little girl though, but we'll see :D

And who is "him" I am excite :D

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D

Mary

Elsbeth's picture

Well, interesting development. Looking forward to more

Is fearr Gaeilge briste, ná Béarla clíste.

Broken Irish is better than clever English.