The Stand-In

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In Culver City, California, on Friday, around noon, Tracy Clark was weaving in and out of traffic on his bicycle along Venice boulevard, on his way to deliver a package. Not the best job in the world, but he needed to do something to make rent, and it was kind of nice to be outside when the weather was reasonable. He came to the large intersection at Motor avenue and had to stop to wait for cars, when he became aware of someone yelling.

“Hey, kid!! You, on the bike!”

It took about three more shouts until Tracy realized he must be the ‘kid’ the yelling was directed at. He looked over at an expensive car, and the man motioned him nearer.

“Hey, are you in pictures?”

Tracy rolled his eyes. If he was in motion pictures why would he look just like a bicycle messenger? “No Mister. I’m a messenger.”

“You look just like someone who’s going to be starring in my next picture. How’d you like to make some good money being a stand-in?”

Tracy thought this over. A job like that was bound to pay better. The only thing was, it could be a scam.

“I’m not an actor; I’d be afraid of messing things up, but it does sound interesting. Could you give me your card? I have to get this package to Clarington avenue.”

The guy fumbled in his pocket for a card as the light changed and the drivers behind him started to honk. He thrust the card at Tracy.

“Please call! You’d be perfect. And don’t worry about acting; that’s not what a stand-in does. Wow, I just can’t get over the resemblance.”

He waved as he drove off.

-o0o-

When Tracy’s shift was over he rode to a fancy building in town where he had made deliveries before. NDB, a reputable talent agency was in the building, and he locked his bike and headed inside.

At the front desk he unhooked his helmet, introduced himself and asked to speak with an agent. The woman looked him up and down, obviously not impressed with his biker gear, but she got on the phone and found someone willing to speak with him.

“Okay, Mr. Clark. Walk back to the right and Ms. Glass will be waiting for you.”

“Thanks.”

He started back and a pleasant-looking woman stepped into his path.

“Tracy Clark?”

“That’s me.”

“Come into my office,” she said, stepping into a nearby room and offered him a seat.

“How can I help you?”

He told her about being stopped by this guy in a flashy car, and wanted to find out if the man was legitimate before doing anything else.

“I asked for his card,” he said, fishing it out of his pocket and handing it over.

She took a look at the card and her eyes flew open.

“Oh my! Yes, this man is a big-time producer and certainly legitimate. I wonder how he picked you.”

“He just said something about my resemblance to some actor he’s going to make a movie with, that’s all. There really wasn’t time for a long conversation.”

She looked at him critically, and her eyes widened a bit, but she decided to say nothing.

“Well, Tracy, I can assure you he’s legit. I hope, if you find yourself wanting representation, you’ll come back here,” she said, handing the card back.

“Thanks for your time. I’m not really expecting much, but I just wanted to make sure of him.”

“Understandable these days. Bye, Tracy.”

“Bye, Ms. Glass.”

-o0o-

Tracy lived alone in a subsidized one-room apartment. When he got home he pulled out the card and called the producer, whose name was Neil Craddock. The call was answered on the second ring.

“Craddock.”

“Hi Mr. Craddock. This is Tracy Clark. I’m the guy on the bicycle you spoke to earlier today.”

“Oh, yes! I’m glad to get your call. Have you decided to give show biz a chance, Tracy?”

“It has to pay more than the bike messenger business, right?”

“Absolutely. I’d like you to come in to the studio on Monday morning. Report to the gate keeper and he’ll let you know where to go so we can get you started.”

“Okay, Mr. Craddock. Thanks for the opportunity.”

“I’m glad I spotted you. We’ll see you Monday morning at 9.”

Fortunately the messenger business Tracy was attached to treated the messengers as independent agents, so he didn’t have to call in to say he wasn’t going to be there.

Due to being raised in an orphanage, Tracy didn’t really have any friends. Everyone there was too busy trying to survive, and small guys like him were targets. So he spent the weekend alone, as usual.

-o0o-

Instead of riding his bike in on Monday, he thought it might make more sense to take a bus. The studio was also in Culver City, and in the morning he got off the bus and walked to the gates. The guard looked down at his clipboard and found the name.

“You’re to report first to sound stage thirteen, and they’ll tell you what to do from there.”

So saying he handed Tracy a pass to put around his neck, and pointed out the direction of the sound stage. Tracy had been past the studio many times, but had never dreamed of coming inside. He had no particular ambition to be an actor, but money was money, and if he could move up a step in the world, why not?

When he got found the building, one of many identical, enormous and unadorned buildings, he found the door and went inside. The door looked ridiculously small compared to the giant blank face of the building, kind of like a mouse hole. The place was huge inside; way bigger than a barn, which was the largest interior he could think of. He heard hammering, and saw the set of a homey old-fashioned parlor was in the process of being built near one end. He spotted the producer talking with a few other men, and walked up, waiting until they were done talking.

“Ah, it’s Tracy, right? You made it! Great! Dave, this is Tracy Clark. What do you think?”

“Wow. He looks just like her.”

“I agree, Neil. They could be twins. Maybe he could do some double work as well.”

Tracy was confused by the reference to “her,” but kept quiet.

Craddock put his hand on Tracy’s shoulder.

“Tracy, after we get your paperwork in order I’m going to send you to Wardrobe with this person here,” he said, looking around for someone. “Barbara? Please take Tracy Clark to the office for paperwork and then to Wardrobe.”

A casually-dressed young woman holding a clipboard came up, smiled, and said, “Follow me.”

“Um. Hi. Can you tell me anything about what I’m supposed to do?” he asked, as they walked out of the sound stage.

“As I understand it, you’ll be a stand-in for one of our actors. That means when the actor is unavailable for one reason or another, you’ll stand-in their place during rehearsals while other actors read their lines. You’ll probably also stand-in for camera blocking, lighting setup, and stuff like that. It means a lot of standing and sitting around. Most times you’ll have to be in the same costume as the actor.”

“Wow. Well, it sure doesn’t sound too hard.”

“No, not hard, really, but it can be boring.”

“Uhhh, do you know who I’ll be standing in for?”

“Sorry, they don’t tell me stuff like that.”

Barbara actually did know who, but didn’t want to be the one to tell him.

They stopped at the office, where an employment contract was signed, as well as a membership in Screen Actors Guild. Then Barbara led him to Wardrobe and presented him to a woman named Katie French. She was around forty years old and had a nice smile.

“Katie, this is Tracy Clark, who has just been hired as a stand-in. I’ll leave him with you.” Barbara walked out.

“Hey Tracy. Nice to meet you. Let me take a good look at you. Turn around for me.”

He turned in a circle.

“So, you’re what? Five four?”

“Four-and-a-half.”

“Sorry. I know for someone that height every little bit counts! Let’s see… you’re nice and thin. You’re a little shorter than our actor, but heels can solve that.”

“Um, Ms. French? Do you know who I’m supposed to be the stand-in for?”

She looked at him, wondering why they left it to her to tell him.

“Call me Katie, dear. Yes, you will be the stand-in for Stacy Gordon. Have you ever seen her?”

“Her. Um, no, I don’t get to see many movies.”

“Well, I have to say that you look very similar to her. You have the same dark brown color of hair, and in fact it looks to be about the same length as Stacy’s. Your skin tone and many of your features are similar.”

“I had no idea I was supposed to be a stand-in for a girl.”

“Is this going to be a problem?”

He sighed.

“I suppose not. It’s just that where I grew up I was bullied for being short and girly. This brings back those feelings.”

“Sorry, kiddo. I suppose if you would stay in girl mode all the time, you wouldn’t have to deal with those kinds of comments. I’m guessing not many people have met you so far.”

“No, only a few. I guess I’d have to think about that idea. But, after all, it’s a job, and I’m also sure it’s less dangerous than weaving in and out of traffic on my bicycle, delivering packages!”

“That’s an excellent attitude, Tracy! Well, what I would like to do is measure you and get you into one of the costumes to see how it’s going to fit. We’re going to have to add some padding here and there, of course.”

“Of course. I know I’m not really too curvy,” he said, grinning.

“Not yet,” she said, and winked.

-o0o-

Katie first took all his measurements. She noticed he had a little bit of breast fat for such a skinny little guy. Then she got him dressed from the skin out, after adding a padded brief and a girl’s corset. She also saw that he was pretty hairless, at least as far as arms, legs and chest. With a filled bra, he was now the same dimensions as Stacy, the star. The movie was a period piece, from around 1900, so on went a petticoat, followed by a frilly light blue dress with little puff sleeves. She had him in black stockings, with old-fashioned garters to hold them up, followed by a pair of black pointy shoes that fit pretty well.

She stood back to look at him.

“Not bad. You really do look amazingly like Stacy. You need these earrings; they are clip-on and may pinch a bit, but pierced ears were not popular around 1900. Let me just finish this off with a ribbon for your hair.”

She parted his hair in the middle and applied a large bow.

“You know, Tracy, once you’re both dressed and made up, I’m not sure anyone is going to be able to tell you two apart. Well, especially if you wear heels. Here. Take a look in the mirror.”

She led him to a mirror and then stepped away to make a call.

He could tell it was him, but it also didn’t look like him. The girl in the mirror looked extremely girly, especially with all those frills and the hair bow. What in the world had he gotten himself into? Oh well, it’s not like his friends were going to make fun of him, since he didn’t have any.

He kept staring at himself, moving back and forth, and moving his hands, still surprised that the girl in the mirror did the same.

Just then the door opened and in came Neil Craddock.

“Tracy!” he called.

Tracy turned to look at him, feeling himself blush.

“Holy Moly! You really look so much like Stacy. It’s incredible. Maybe we should consider having you double for her too.”

Katie came over and whispered in Craddock’s ear. He nodded.

“Tracy, what would you think of staying in girl mode whenever you’re at the studio?”

“Oh, I, uh, Katie and I were kind of discussing that. In some ways it seems like a very practical idea. Maybe less confusing and embarrassing for everyone, including me?”

“Well, I certainly won’t force you to do it, but you’re right; it might simplify things. If you decide to go ahead with it, I’m sure you’ll be needing clothes. Let me know and I’ll send someone shopping with you.”

The door flew open and a pretty young girl ran in. She stopped and looked around, spotted Craddock and came over to him. She was about to speak when she noticed Tracy standing there.

“Wow! Are you my double? You look a lot like me!”

“Tracy, let me introduce you to Stacy Gordon. Stacy, this is Tracy Clark, and she’s a stand-in, not a double, although I’m rethinking that.”

“Ha! Stacy and Tracy! I like it,” said Stacy.

Stacy came closer and inspected Tracy and the dress carefully.

“You look really pretty in that dress, Tracy. I guess that means I will too!” she giggled.

Tracy felt as red as a tomato.

“She’s a little shorter too, I see,” she said, addressing Neil.

“Yes, but we’ll solve that with heels, Stacy,” interjected Katie.

Tracy was frightened of all this attention while he was dressed like this. He thought Stacy was very pretty, and she had a kind of larger-than-life aura about her. What would she think of him if she knew he was a guy? She smiled at him.

“Nervous?”

He just nodded yes.

“We’ll spend time together and soon you’ll be able to relax, Tracy.”

She gave him a hug, which felt oh-so-nice, and then turned to Craddock to talk.

Katie drew Tracy away from them.

“Looks like you’re a girl now, Tracy,” she whispered.

He could see that this was the path of least resistance. It really didn’t seem like it would result in his life changing very much. He’d still be a guy at home, although… now that he thought of it, how was he supposed to change back into a guy before leaving, and before arriving? Maybe this was more complicated than he thought.

-o0o-

Craddock and Stacy said goodbye and left Wardrobe, and he turned to Katie.

“Katie, if I’m going to do this I guess I’ll have to arrive and leave as a girl. I’m not sure how I can do that and still be a guy at home. Plus, I don’t know anything at all about being a girl.”

“Yes, that might be a problem. Tracy, my guess is that as we go through this it will become more obvious what will work for you. For today I’m going to give you some clothes to go home in. I also think that gluing the breast forms on makes sense. I realize that may interfere with your plans to be male at home, but right now I can’t see a good alternative. You’ll be in here sometimes with other girls, who will certainly notice if you have no chest, or if there are obvious falsies sitting in your bra. That reminds me; I’ll have to get you a gaff too.”

Gaff? Other girls? This information was starting to overwhelm him, and he sat down suddenly. He was going to go from boy to girl in one day? Seemed like events were getting away from him.

“Tracy? Lesson number one is to always sweep your skirt before sitting down.”

He looked up at her as what she said penetrated. He stood up and did it again, properly.

“Very good. You’re going to have to have more lessons, but I think I’ll have to get Neil to find an expert for that. Having said that, I do notice that you’re pretty graceful already.”

She got him undressed, and handed him a knee-length skirt, a camisole and a blouse.

“You can wear these home, but as Mr. Craddock said, you’ll have to shop for a wardrobe.”

“Oh, and you’ll need different shoes. And a purse. Let me get you a bag for your boy clothes.”

She went to the shoe collection and hunted around for a pair of flats.

“Can you find your way back to the sound stage?”

“I think so. Thank you for all your help, Katie.”

“You’re welcome, hon. Oh, listen, here’s a list of all your clothing sizes. Good luck.”

As he left the room, she shook her head, wondering how this was all going to play out.

-o0o-

Tracy got outside and felt very exposed. The skirt was no longer than his shorts, but somehow it felt like he had almost nothing on. He must be crazy to agree to do this. On the other hand, it seemed a lot more interesting than being a bike messenger, and, hopefully, paid a lot more. He found his way back to the sound stage and waited to talk to Mr. Craddock again.

“Tracy! What can I do for you? I see you have decided to play it safe, so to speak.”

“Yeah, well, after Stacy rushed in and you introduced us, it just seemed like it would be too awkward not to.”

“I understand. So you’ll be needing some clothes. And I had a call from Katie about ‘lessons,’” he said, using air quotes. “I’ll set both of these things up for you. I think there’s an assistant around here who can take you shopping,” he said, looking around.

“Karen! Would you come over here, please?”

Karen was a young woman wearing a baseball cap and jeans.

“I need you to take Tracy Clark here shopping for wardrobe necessities. Her luggage was lost. Oh, and you may as well go to lunch while you’re out and about.”

He then turned to someone else and started talking.

Karen shrugged and said, “follow me.”

The two walked out of the sound stage, and over to the parking lot.

“Did you drive, Tracy?”

“I don’t have a car; I took the bus this morning.”

“The bus! Eww. I hope it wasn’t too gross.”

“No, it was fine. Clean, even.”

They got into her VW Beetle and left the studio property.

-o0o-

Karen helped Tracy with the basics, underwear, casual wear, a few dresses and skirts and blouses, as well as a jacket and three pairs of shoes.

They broke for lunch at a decent little restaurant on the studio’s dime. Karen didn’t have much to say to Tracy. She helped get the clothes and suggested things, but she didn’t act warm and friendly. She didn’t act surprised that he knew nothing about shopping for girls clothes. She was pleasant, civil, but no more. Tracy guessed this was just another job for her.

When they were finished, it was around four o’clock. Karen checked in and found they were not needed back there today.

“Where do you live, Tracy? I’ll take all this to your place. I doubt you’d be able to deal with it on the bus.”

“Thank you very much, Karen. I would not have been able to accomplish so much without you.” Thinking he probably wouldn’t have been able to accomplish any of it on his own.

He gave Karen directions, and when they arrived she helped him carry it all up to his room. She gave the room a quick once-over, but didn’t say anything. It was a depressing little place, with no personal touches. Her attitude softened a little bit.

“I don’t know if you like this place or not, Tracy, but if you keep working in the movie business you should be able to afford somewhere a little more upscale than this.”

“It’s okay, Karen, I know it’s a sad little room. But a bicycle messenger doesn’t make a whole lot of money, and I have no family to help out. I have no idea at all what working at the studio is going to be like.”

“You’re a good kid, Tracy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you again, Karen.”

With Karen gone, he started to put the new clothes in the closet and the poor excuse for a dresser, shaking his head the whole time at what they had bought. When it was put away he went to the mirror. The silvering was coming off it, but he gazed at himself for a while to see if he looked like Stacy. ‘I guess I have to admit I can see some resemblance, but not as much as they seem to see. Maybe… a cousin?’ he thought to himself.

-o0o-

In the next week, he got a better idea of what was expected of him. There were a few scenes to be shot on other sets and a couple outdoor scenes. He was told where to stand as cameras and lighting were adjusted, dressed in the same type of clothes Katie had put him in the first day, and his hair was done exactly the same as Stacy’s. The clothes were for a girl of about fourteen, as Stacy looked youthful enough that they had cast her as younger than she was. Since a decision was made to use him as a double as well, two or three times they actually filmed the back of him while the actor he was facing said his or her lines. Being a double meant more money.

Neil Craddock did quickly find a woman to tutor him in the art of acting like a woman. She was patient with him, and declared he was “a natural.” She worked on movements with him—arms, legs and head—as well as walking, talking; inflections, how to apply makeup and so on. Somehow it all wasn’t that hard to remember.

Stacy tried to make time to spend with him. Unlike many girls her age she enjoyed frilly clothes from the nineteen hundreds, and she especially enjoyed it when both she and Tracy were dressed alike. She tried to get him to play a game where they pretended each other was a mirror, and had to move exactly like the other. It was fun, and the petticoats swirling around his legs felt really nice, but he didn’t think he did a very good job of it. He was growing to really like Stacy, and to feel comfortable with her, and it turned out she was also eighteen.

-o0o-

The second week, Amy Medley, an actress who was playing Stacy’s older sister, came in to rehearse. She was a more established actress, whom he also had never heard of. Some of this rehearsing was done with Tracy. He found himself fascinated by this woman. She was very attractive and he kind of wished he wasn’t dressed like a girl. She wasn’t much more than three years older, but a lot taller, so he and Stacy really did look like the little sister.

Katie, the wardrobe mistress, had gotten him a few gaffs and explained their use, and had glued on the breast forms on his second day, instructing him on how to care for them, and when to take them off. So it turned out he was in girl mode all the time. Since he didn’t have a whole lot of time to himself outside the studio, it was not a big issue. No one where he lived knew who he was, or cared. Food Services was available at the studio, so there wasn’t a lot of food shopping for him to do.

Wearing girls clothes all the time wasn’t seeming so odd now, and being addressed as Miss wasn’t that big a deal. He asked the makeup people to help him look different than Stacy, because on the way to and from the studio he was starting to get looks, and to be asked if he was Stacy. He’d just smile and tell them, “Yeah, I get that a lot.” They showed him how to fix his hair differently, and suggested he wear sunglasses.

His first paycheck wasn’t as large as he had imagined, but he discovered that was because he was paying off the new clothing. It was still enough to live on, better than what he had been used to making.

-o0o-

On this particular day of filming, he was costumed and sitting in a far corner of the sound stage reading a book, and didn’t hear a person approach.

“Mind if I sit here?” said Amy.

“No, of course not.”

It was a two-seat bench with just enough light to read by.

“How are you settling in with this job, Tracy?”

“I like it. It’s a lot easier than my last job!”

“What were you doing before?”

“Bicycle messenger.”

“A nice little girl like you??”

“Ha ha, Amy. I needed the money.”

“Hey Tracy, what are you doing later on?”

“Nothing much. I’ll take the bus home and maybe read some more.”

“You take the bus??”

“Should I be riding my bicycle here instead?”

“Huh. I guess you can’t afford a car, yet.”

“No, not quite yet. I’m still paying off my clothing bill.”

Amy had heard the lost luggage story.

“Yeah, that sucks. Hey, how would you like to go out to dinner with me?”

“Really? I’d love to!”

“Great! I look forward to it.”

That was interesting. He really liked Amy and would love to spend some time with her. He knew very little about Lesbians, so it just felt to him as if she simply liked him.

He was called up a few more times that day to run through scenes, and then went to take off the costume. He put on a skirt and blouse and went to find Amy.

-o0o-

Amy drove them to a nicer restaurant than Tracy had ever been into. That wasn’t difficult, since the only restaurant food he’d ever had was fast food. During the dinner she asked him many questions about himself, and he had to invent some things, or alter things, which he didn’t like doing. He hated having to lie to her. He tried to find out more about her, and learned she was from St. Louis, and had had a lucky break with a popular tv commercial.

When dinner was over Amy paid, and they got up.

“Is anyone waiting for you at home?”

“No, I live alone.”

“Really? I’m surprised because you seem so young.”

“I’m eighteen, but I’m an orphan. I really couldn’t wait to get out of the orphanage, which was a pretty awful place to grow up.”

“I’m sorry, Trace. Listen, why don’t you come to my place?”

“Um, sure, okay. I’d love to see where you live.”

-o0o-

Amy lived in Santa Monica, and it took about a half hour to get there. It was a nice little house on a clean street. She parked in a garage and they entered the house. It was nice and airy, with a kind of Scandinavian motif to the decoration.

“Wow, this is really nice, Amy.”

“Thanks. I like living here. The ocean is just a few blocks away, and Santa Monica is pretty nice.”

They sat down together on the couch and she put her arm around him. He looked up at her.

“I have been enjoying getting to know you, Tracy,” she said, running her fingers through his hair. “You intrigue me. You’re a quiet little thing, but there’s something about you…”

She leaned over and kissed him, setting his nerves on fire. Before he knew what he was doing he started kissing her back, and they were exploring each other’s tongues and tonsils, and it was feeling really wonderful. When they stopped for a breather they had their arms tight around each other. And then it penetrated his brain that she thought she was kissing another girl. This wasn’t fair to her. He needed to tell her who he was, but he really didn’t want to ruin this.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“Amy, I have to tell you something, and I really don’t know how you’re going to take it.”

“What? Are you… married?”

“No. Aw, crap. This was so nice and now I feel like I’m going to spoil it.”

“Just tell me, Trace.”

“Okay…” He took a deep breath. “I’m…not a girl.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. I’m really sorry.”

“You’re a boy.”

“Yes.”

She said nothing, just looking at him.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No. No, I don’t,” she said, kind of wonderingly. “I still think you’re interesting and cute, and this is even more intriguing. Are you trans? How’d you end up as Stacy’s stand-in?”

He told her about the guy yelling to him on the street, and how he checked out his legitimacy. He told her how Stacy came running into Wardrobe and how Craddock introduced him as a girl, and how he and Katie decided it would just be easier all around if they all kept it quiet and he stayed in girl mode.

“That’s an amazing story. And, girl or boy, you really do look a lot like Stacy. I can see why Neil called out to you. I think I might really enjoy having a girlfriend with that little extra something,” she said, smiling at him.

He put his arms around her neck and kissed her deeply.

“Thank you. I was afraid you’d be mad.”

She brushed his soft cheek with her finger, looked into his eyes, and said, “No, babe, not at all. It’s got Hollywood Story written all over it!”

-o0o-

They slept together that night and he enjoyed every moment of it. In the morning he had to wear the same clothes from the day before, but they left a little early so they could swing by his place to pick up some fresh replacements on their way to the studio. Amy came in to his apartment with him and kind of shuddered at it.

At the studio he was spending more time with Stacy. They seemed to have an instinctive friendliness toward each other. In fact, one day she told him, “You feel more like my sister than just a friend,” and he felt honored by that.

Stacy invited him to her house for dinner, and to meet her parents. They also lived in Santa Monica, in a nice place off Ocean Boulevard. Stacy wanted them to meet this girl with whom she had become good friends. She also made sure that the two of them were dressed identically, in summer dresses, so the resemblance would really hit home.

When he arrived he was shown in and introduced to her folks.

“Oh! I see what you mean, Stacy! She really looks just like you. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tracy,” said her mother. “Stacy has told us so much about you. Do you have family around here?”

“No, Mrs. Gordon. I’m an orphan, raised in an orphanage.”

Stacy gasped and her eyes went wide at hearing that. Her heart thumping, she turned to him and gripped his arms.

“Tracy, I’m also an orphan, and an adoptee! When is your birthday?”

“It’s coming up in September. Why?”

“September…26th?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Oh My God! It’s my birthday too! Don’t you see? We must be twins!”

He just stood there, dumbfounded. Unnoticed, tears began to run down his cheeks. He had never been told anything at all about his family. He’d felt so alone for so long, and now suddenly he had a girlfriend and a sister—a twin! Stacy wrapped him up in the tightest hug he’d ever had. She was crying too.

“You’re my sister!”

Aw, crap! If there had been background music to this scene, the tone arm would have been scraped off across the record at that point. He sighed and knew he’d have to tell her now.

“Oh, Stacy, about that… I think I should tell you that I’m not actually a girl.”

She pulled back and looked at him.

“What do you mean, not a girl?”

“I’m a boy. Mr. Craddock spotted me on the street and said I looked like an actor of his, but he never said it was a girl. I was pretty surprised when I got to the studio that first day.”

She looked him up and down.

“That’s pretty hard to believe. You don’t come across as a boy, and you’re shorter than I am.”

He just shrugged. “Mr. Craddock has been paying this woman to give me Girl lessons.”

“No, Tracy. It’s more than that. I can’t quite put it into words, but you feel like a girl to me.”

She suddenly smiled.

“Whatever sex you are, I’m so happy you’re my twin. I’ll probably always think of you as my sister though. I had no idea I had any family.”

“Me neither.”

Her parents, who had been watching all this, were fascinated.

“We’re happy for you both, girls. Oh! Sorry Tracy.”

“Please don’t be. At this point I’m comfortable enough to be thought of as female. Actually, my life seems to be going a lot better since I turned into a girl!”

“No surprise there, girl!” laughed Stacy.

Bud Gordon, Stacy’s dad, who was in medical research, was thinking about this situation. He knew that fraternal twins did not have identical features eighty percent of the time. And from what he could observe, Tracy had extremely smooth facial skin. He certainly wasn’t developed the way you would expect an eighteen-year-old boy to be. In the sleeveless dress, Bud could see he had slender arms, with very little muscle definition.

“Tracy, when’s the last time you had a physical?”

“It’s been a long time, Mr. Gordon.”

“I think it just might be worth getting yourself checked out,” he said.

“What’s up, Dad?” asked Stacy.

“Just a hunch, honey. I’d rather not say anything about it now.”

“Dad, do you know how long until Tracy’s medical kicks in, at the studio?”

“Sorry, I’m not sure. Some places make you wait sixty or ninety days. You were already on our medical, so I wasn’t too concerned when you were hired.”

“Should I be worried,” Tracy asked.

“No. It’s just something in the back of my mind that I think would be worth looking into. Let me know when you do go in for the checkup.”

“Yes sir.”

“You know what, Tracy? If you’re my daughter’s sister, why don’t you call me Dad.”

“Really? I would be honored.”

“Same goes for me, honey. Call me Mom.”

He felt overwhelmed by this, and started to cry again. Stacy wrapped him in another hug.

“I feel so bad for you, having to grow up in an orphanage while I had these fabulous parents.”

He couldn’t speak for a while, and just enjoyed the hug, with his head on Stacy’s shoulder.

“I’m sure there was some cosmic reason for it, Stacy,” he finally said.

Stacy’s mother embraced the two of them.

“Come on, girls. Let’s move into the dining room and have a nice meal.”

-o0o-

During the meal Stacy’s father managed to find out from Tracy the area in which he was living. He knew that part of Washington boulevard was pretty low-income housing. When the meal was over the girls went up to Stacy’s bedroom, and Bud talked to his wife.

“Joan, what do you think of our new daughter?”

“She’s kind of precious. She seems a lot younger than Stacy. I like her.”

“So do I. She’s probably smaller due to a poor diet growing up, although I think there’s more going on than just diet. But,” he said, staving off her inevitable questions, “I will wait for the results of her physical to say anything. Anyhow, it might be a little soon, but what would you think about having her come and live with us. I know that area she lives in and it doesn’t seem like the best place for someone like her. And Stacy’s had nothing but nice things to say about her.”

“If Stacy wants her here, I’d love to have her.”

They smiled at each other.

“We’ll talk to Stacy tonight.”

-o0o-

Upstairs, Stacy was still very excited about having a twin. She decided to just ignore the part about Tracy being a boy, since she was unable to see her that way.

The two of them discussed the movie, and their lives, and Stacy had many questions about growing up in an orphanage. It seemed so… nineteenth century. She could see that Tracy had not had a very easy time of it, and her heart went out to her. “My sister,” she said to herself. She loved it.

Tracy was enjoying herself, talking to one of her favorite people and trying to grasp the concept that they were related. Stacy’s upbringing sounded so idyllic, every need met, great parents, her budding career. She wasn’t jealous of Stacy; rather, she was happy Stacy hadn’t had to go through what she had.

When it was starting to get dark, Tracy looked at the time and said, “Stacy, I really should be getting home. It’s kind of late.”

The two got up and went downstairs.

“Thank you very much for the meal, Mist… um, Mom and Dad. I need to be getting home.”

You’re very welcome, Tracy. Did you drive?”

“No, I came on the bus. I’m sure one will be along soon.”

“Tell you what, why don’t I drive you home?”

“Well, thank you! If it’s not too much trouble, that’d be great.”

“Good. Get your things and we’ll leave momentarily.”

Stacy and her mother decided to ride along, and Tracy directed them to her low-cost housing block. Before she got out of the car Stacy hugged her and kissed her cheek.

“Bye, Sis! See you at the studio!”

-o0o-

On the way back home, Stacy felt compelled to talk to her parents about the housing situation.

“Mom, Dad, could we have Tracy come live with us? She’s all alone in this area, and takes the bus everywhere. I don’t know how safe it is. I’d feel better if my sister were with us.”

“We were discussing this, Honey, and we’d be happy to have her, if she’s willing.”

“That’s so great!! I can hardly wait to tell her!”

-o0o-

Tracy felt a little let down once she entered her small apartment. It had been an exciting and momentous evening. She had had a wonderful time, and now here she was, alone once again. Still, it was very exciting to find out she had a sister, and a movie star sister at that!

She called Amy.

“Hey Babe! How did the dinner go?”

“Amy, you will never guess in a million years what happened!”

“Well then, tell me! You sound excited.”

“Stacy is really my sister! We’re twins!”

“How did you find that out?”

“She’s also an orphan, and we have the same birthdate, not just the same face.”

“Well, that is kind of amazing. You must be happy.”

“I’m kind of overwhelmed. I was never told anything at all about my parents or if I had any siblings. With you and Stacy, I’m not alone anymore!”

“Aw, honey. I wish I was there to give you a big hug.”

“I wish you were here too.”

There was a pause as each imagined holding the other.

“Hey, her parents told me to call them Mom and Dad!”

“That’s very nice to hear. Did you tell Stacy…”

“Yeah, I kind of had to. None of them were fazed. Stacy said that to her I feel like a girl.”

“Hm. I guess I have to agree with her on that.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, Amy, to collect my hug.”

“You betcha, Babe.”

-o0o-

The next day at the studio, Stacy cornered her, gave her a hug, and then asked, “How would you like to come live with me and my parents? Please say yes, Sis!”

“Really?? That sounds like a dream come true to me. I’d love to! I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be in a real family.”

“I’m so happy, Tracy. I still can’t believe we’re sisters! Even if I already felt you were my sister!”

They hugged again, and got dressed for the day’s work.

Tracy also collected her hug from Amy and told her about Stacy’s offer.

“Aw, I was going to ask you if you wanted to move in with me, Babe.”

“I’m sorry, Amy. I would have loved to do that too, but I am really curious about what it’s like to be in an actual family.”

“It’s okay. I can wait for you. You might want to move out of there in a year or two. In the meantime we can still see each other.”

“I sure hope so!”

-o0o-

Neil Craddock was going over some details with the movie’s director when Stacy led Tracy over to him. They were both in costume.

“Excuse me, David. Yes, Stacy?”

“Neil, I have some excellent news: Tracy and I are twins!”

“I can see that, Stacy. What’s so new about that idea?”

“No, I mean we’re really actually sisters! We have the same birthdate! We’re both very happy. In fact, she’s going to move into my house.”

“Really! I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised; when I first saw Tracy I thought she looked like your twin. Congratulations, you two!”

She led Tracy away as Neil shook his head. He had just about forgotten that Tracy was a boy after the few weeks they’d been working together. There was a real naturalness about his portrayal as a girl. He needed to keep this in mind in case there was a film about twin sisters.

-o0o-

It turned out that the medical insurance didn’t kick in until just over three months’ employment, so it was a while before Tracy got her physical. She explained to the doctor how her current situation had demanded she live as a woman. The doc noted the breast material and other characteristics.

“I think we will do some blood tests and I’d like to get an ultrasound of you.”

“Should I be worried about this?”

“Not at all. You haven’t experienced any health issues recently, have you?”

“No, I’ve been pretty healthy.”

“Excellent.”

-o0o-

Several days later Tracy came back to hear the test results.

“I’ll begin by saying that you have a very low testosterone count, Tracy. That’s why you’re still small and appear not to have gone through puberty. You have no female organs, so you’re not intersexed. What would ordinarily happen at this point is that I’d recommend you see an endocrinologist, who would give you a kind of jump start with male hormones.

“But seeing as you’re presenting yourself as a woman, you do have the option of getting an injection of female hormones instead, and developing as a woman.”

“Oh, wow. I never expected this. How long do I have to think about it?”

“It’s not an emergency, but you really should make a decision one way or the other, because our bodies really do need hormones to function well. I’m going to recommend that you see a psychiatrist, which is standard practice in any case of gender uncertainty.”

“Oh. I hope this will be covered by my insurance.”

“Oh, I imagine it will,” the doctor smiled.

-o0o-

That evening Tracy sat down with Stacy and her parents to explain what she had learned at the doctor’s.

“That’s more or less what I thought was going on, Tracy,” said Bud. “You’ll have our support no matter which path you choose.”

She looked down and Stacy put her arm around her.

“You don’t really want to be a boy, do you?”

“Stacy, I am going to recommend you not try and influence Tracy. This is a big decision to make, and she shouldn’t make it based on your wishes.”

“Okay, Dad. Tracy, you know I’ll love you whatever you decide to do.”

She turned towards Stacy and hugged her. It still felt wonderful to have people who cared about her, and in whom she could confide about this issue. Her eyes filled with tears as she felt the full weight of that idea.

“What’s the matter, Tracy? Are you crying?”

“I’m just… overwhelmed by this whole family thing. A mom and dad who care about me, and the best sister ever. It’s so amazing.”

Bud smiled and Joan wiped a tear or two away. “Come here, honey,” she said, and wrapped Tracy up in a hug.

-o0o-

At the psychiatrist’s office, Tracy and the doctor discussed outcomes from choosing male or female paths, and the consequences of those choices.

“How would you feel about getting a little larger, hairy and muscular?”

“If you had asked me that five months ago, I would have said yes, male, no doubt. But after having lived as a girl these past few months, I’m leaning strongly in the other direction. I have enjoyed being Tracy the girl way more than I ever enjoyed being Tracy the boy. People treat me nicer and talk about how natural I am as a girl, but it’s not like I’m trying hard.”

“But if you decide to go the female route are you prepared to be treated as a second class citizen? Have your opinions discounted, earn less than a man?”

“Doc, that sounds like what I’ve always experienced. As an orphan and a short, skinny guy I’m not taken as seriously as some large, tall, muscly guy. And so far I don’t think I have anything to complain about. I think I’m treated pretty well. Once I relaxed and got into the ‘role,’ so to speak, I felt pretty comfortable.”

-o0o-

Tracy spent a lot of time thinking about the hormone issue, trying to weigh pros and cons. She didn’t want to make the ‘wrong’ choice and then discover it was a big mistake. But ultimately she decided that going the female route would be the better option. It was not a big stretch to live the life of a girl versus his sad existence as lonely Tracy, the bike messenger. She told Stacy her decision and Stacy was elated, even though she already thought of him/her as a girl.

She also sat down with Amy to tell her about it.

“So you need to get male or female hormones or else you’ll run into health trouble. Is that about it?”

“Yes. He said it wasn’t an emergency, but I do need to choose soon. So I’m choosing to be a girl.”

“I’m happy for you, Baby. I do wonder if it’s possible that having a bunch of estrogen could affect which sex you’re attracted to…”

“Gee, I hadn’t thought of that. I’ll have to talk with the psychiatrist, or the endocrinologist about it. But really, Amy, I can’t really see myself ever liking guys that way. They caused me too much trouble growing up.”

-o0o-

She found that she and Stacy were growing closer than ever, and had started to finish each other’s sentences, although Stacy did the lion’s share of the talking. Tracy was more like her little shadow. It was so nice to be driven back and forth to work with Stacy, and having loving parent figures continued to be overwhelming. And one weekend when they were all sitting down together, Joan asked, “Tracy, how would you like to be adopted by me and Bud?”

She wasn’t sure she heard right.

“Adopted? Can you do that for someone my age?”

“You can.”

“That would make me very happy,” she said, as tears started streaming down her face, and three people hugged her.

And she officially became Tracy Gordon, Stacy’s sister.

-o0o-

In later years, whenever she thought about those few months in her life, she couldn’t believe what a difference Neil Craddock had made, just by spotting her and yelling, “hey kid!” She got herself a new career, new parents, a new sister, a new gender and a wonderful girlfriend.

It still took her a long time to get used to the idea that she deserved all that happiness, but she had a lot of support now. For a while she tried to pay the Gordons back, monetarily and by doing things for them. They assured her that wasn’t necessary and they loved having her as their daughter. Still, she tried to take as little of their money as she could, paying for her own things. Joan even had to sit down with her one day to discuss it. She put her arm around Tracy.

“Tracy, dear, you really don’t have to pay us back for anything. You’re our daughter now and we want to support you in whatever way we can. I know this way of living is new for you, but trust me—we love you and want to take care of you.”

Naturally she cried again. She realized she’d been crying more since the hormone therapy started, but this just felt like it merited a good cry on its own. Joan held her and rocked her until she was able to stop.

“Thanks, Mom. I love you too.”

Saying ‘I love you’ hadn’t come easy for her, but that one was heartfelt.

The End.

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Comments

Sweet story

erin's picture

All her wishes come true. It's a simple sweet story with no real conflicts, but the writing is smooth and entertaining.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Thanks for that, Erin,

There's just the barest smidgeon of conflict, because, you know, drama needs conflict.

NN1

Wonderful story

Just a nice feel good story, I like the fresh baseline for the story

Happy

You are absolutely right

I remember reading your version, but more recently I read Louise Anne's Nicola-The Stand-In, and Joannebarbarella's Lina, and just wanted to try my own version. I'm just glad it doesn't seem to step on any toes!

NN1

Searching for a Story by Title

BarbieLee's picture

There are thousands of examples of similar instances. Stories aren't the only ones to fall to this malaise as songs, vehicles, machinery, guns, companies, etc. etc. Sometimes the results are absurd such as Mattel claiming copyright on the name Barbie. Really! They have a doll modeled after a German porno doll, a German boy's name that's been around for over six hundred years, and they claim it's all theirs? Trademark Courts wisely rejected their claim.

It's an interesting world when it comes to trademarks, copyrights, book, song, story titles, among other things. Really tough trying to find a song, story, maybe even a particular piece of equipment. Look up Hammy, it's a piece of farm equipment. Lots of luck.
Hugs Angharad, now I'm curious and will have to surf over and look at your story.
Barb
As we age, time changes value. An hour as kids is a lifetime. Then a day, next a week, a month, a year. Eventually a lifetime isn't.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

I Love You

BarbieLee's picture

Three simple little words with such strong meaning. Words so seldom said even to those we love with all our heart and soul. Tracy grew up basically alone with no one to share her love with. Even boys share love even if they won't admit it. YECH! Un huh, trust me boys and girls, if their heart and soul is in the right place, they find love with another boy although they say they are only a "friend" which lasts a lifetime.

Our Tracy found the right path to complete her love with her sister, her friend Amy, and her adoptive parents. A love she can freely express as a girl. It seems she already already possessed that trait.

This story could have went on with a DNA test confirming Tracy and Stacy were twins. With Stacy and Tracy legally adopted and a DNA test a search could have been made to find the birth parents. BUT, for whatever reason they were given up for adoption and the past is past. It can't be done over. A few truisms fit here. 'Let sleeping dogs lie." "Curiosity killed the cat." "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Hugs Noname, you did great with this one. Kinda heart warming Valentine story.
Barb
"Love you"

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

My mother once asked me…

…in the last few years of her life, if it was difficult for me to say, "I love you." When I admitted it was, she said it was her fault, that it was hard for her as well.

As for story titles, one of my first posted stories had the same title as one of SamanthaMD's, and at about the same time, and I was kind of mortified, thinking she would think I stole her title. But the stories were nothing at all like each other, and I just…let it go.

Thanks for your comments, Barb!

NN1

Thanks Dorothy.

I thought maybe I was done writing, just before this story surfaced, since absolutely nothing else was coming to mind. I'm happy a few liked it.

After Emma Anne Tate mentioned she hit her year anniversary, I realized I did too, or maybe it's tomorrow. So I got a year's worth of stories out before the ideas petered out.

you never know, hon

quite a few times I have thought I was done, but something always pops in!

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