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Gabi is. . .
Generous
Amazing
Brainy
In my heart
This early summer I became a “covidiot” and threw a BC temper tantrum.
An amazing number of people reached out to me and either told me to revert to form or to not take things so personally.
They were all right in their advice.
I had announced that I had unpublished all my stories, which I did.
When my rational thinking return, I announced I would republish my stories.
I set out to edit each story. About the first week into my efforts, Gabi offered to give my stories a proofing when I had them ready to be republished.
There’s never a perfect story. Pick up a newspaper and read for errors. It’s astounding to find so many mistakes . . . even in BIG headlines.
But, knowing that Gabi was backstopping me, allowed me to be less conscious of errors and more conscious of storytelling. What a difference! I would recommend that all writers have someone to proof-read for them so that they can put their energies into plot, characters, and setting, rather than spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
I’ve spent an average of about six hours per story on re-writing, updating, and editing, in addition to Gabi’s work. I’ve posted thirty-two and have about that many more to go.
Besides, I’ve put seven other stories through the same process and have given them to Erin to divide into four more books that will be published by Doppler – with all revenue going to BC to help maintain the site.
The stories I’ve posted here have generated an average of over sixty-five new kudos and comments -- and about 1,250 new hits. That has been quite gratifying, although the low number of comments are a bit of a mystery.
The additional hits have brought the number of hits for my stories to about eighty-eight percent of the total number of words in my stories.
I’m very appreciative of Gabi and the many people here who have huge hearts.
Never underestimate the community that exists.
Every human activity exists on a bell-shaped arc. That means that about forty percent of people will fall short of our judgment of what is acceptable.
Condemning people based on our expectations is nothing more than a futile walking of an over-advanced ego.
A special thank you to Erin, who has allowed me to be creative. There is no greater gift a person can give another.
Jill
Comments
*smiling*
I'm so glad you decided to bring your stories back! :D
Heather
It has been fifteen years since you posted your first story.
I can remember helping (???) you with it. My thoughts at that time were that you were a unique talent.
Your writing has matured. But the humanity you brought to your first story was genuine and needed no enhancement.
I'm glad you're enjoying the stories I've brought back.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Wow!
I didn't realize it's been fifteen years already. I'm so glad you helped me with that story. I really learned a lot from the advice you gave me! Thank you so much for all the support you gave me while I was struggling worry and self-doubt. I don't think I would have had the confidence to go through with posting if it weren't for you. :)
And -- That Would Have Been a Shame
I've worked with several writers who are much better storytellers than me. We all can learn from one another. I showed you enough writer tricks so that you felt better about your writing and went forward with confidence. You were always a great writer. I - like the Wizard of Oz - just gave you something you already had.
When you - and others - returned the favor - by holding up a mirror to my whining - you gave me what I needed.
Thanks.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
I just took the opportunity
I just took the opportunity to re-read your blog entry when you decided to unpublish your stories, and I looked at what I said. It is very impressive the number of people who commented and poured out their love on you.
I had thought I had been harsher in my urging you to not let whoever it was win, but in reading my comment again, I don't think I was. You are part of the backbone of BCTS, and I am absolutely thrilled that you didn't leave.
I have one request. Please don't ever let them get to you again.
Hugs!
Rosemary
Rose - Keep Your Eyes Peeled
I'm rewriting an old story of mine about a smalltown MN minister. It's a parody of The Legend of Sleepy Hallow.
While I rode my stationary bike this morning, I got about halfway through it. I thought of you several times. You represent a contrast to my "Ichabod Crane."
Twice in just over twenty years, I reached a breaking point with regard to BC. The other time, someone told me they were going to commit suicide -- because of a story I wrote. She said her family wasn't at all as loving and supportive as the family I depicted. It scared the daylights out of me. It took me six months, that time, to come back.
Compared to some of the things that have happened to me in RL -- what occurred here wasn't even in the same realm. Have you ever had a front page screed written against you? I have three times. Have you ever gone to court and lost because the system was rigged against you? Have you ever had a multi-million dollar business stolen from you, without any means of protecting yourself?
I've had my share of really, really bad moments. Some made me tougher. Some made me more vulnerable.
Friendships, like I've had with Erin for a long time, are great buffers.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
No, I haven't had problems
No, I haven't had problems like those.
What I did have, however, in a very small town, was when my brother came out as transgender, he was accused of murdering his wife (who had just committed suicide by hanging herself). Of course, there was absolutely no case. He had been at work 50 miles away, and his employer would vouch for him. My wife and I were accused of empowering him by babysitting their kids when they would go to a trans function. It didn't seem to matter that if we hadn't babysat, someone else would have. My parents, sister, and I had to leave the town we had spent the last twenty-five years in. I was just trying out for senior pastor in a church thirty miles away, and couldn't get it. I had no idea why at first, but as things came out, it became apparent. I was bitter about that at first, but I've come to realize I wouldn't make a good senior pastor. Just not my cup of tea.
There's been many other things that I'm still dealing with, so I can understand what you mean.
Friendships are worth their weight in gold (That becomes a fortune with my weight. LOL). I have friends that there is no way I would ever consider parting with. They'll stick by me through anything, and I by them. Norma, my wife, is the greatest of these.
Hugs!
Rosemary
Suicide
I've been on the sidelines for a number of suicides. They all have one thing in common. They are irrational.
Many have another thing in common, people won't accept that they're irrational and stumble around looking for a "reason."
I've stared suicidal thoughts in the face and know exactly how powerful they are and how incredibly stupid they seem years -- months -- days -- minutes later when unsolvable problems have been handled.
***
Empowering another person is the kind of "crime" good people get accused to doing.
***
I've done a lot of business in Iowa. I know a lot of people in Iowa. I watched one man steal $64 million dollars from hundreds of thousands of insurance company policyholders, with the blessing of a large number of Iowan elected and appointed officeholders.
I refused to sell a product designed by another large Iowa insurance company because it was fraudulent and the President of that company terminated our relationship rather than go to the CEO and admit he'd made a mistake. That product ended up costng his company a LOT of money when the inevitable lawsuits hit.
A friend of mine just asked for some advice and I recommended he work with another Iowa insurance company that I've followed very closely for several decades. It's one of the best insurance companies in the nation.
Bottomline -- Iowans have clear blue eyes that can be loving and or lying. It's impossible to know which.
***
If a person has more than a handful of really good friends they have more than their share.
***
I'm very sorry you had bad things happen.
As a rule bad things have happen to trans people and those around them. . .too often. It is useful in working with people on this site to remember that the majority of us are wounded doves who are easily hurt.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
There have been many times I
There have been many times I've been furious with others, even God, for the pain I endure all the time. I always get around to realizing that even those who hurt me, probably have my best interests in mind.
The problem is, they aren't here. They have no idea how much it has hurt every day of my life to be in a constant state of conflict in my mind. If they could, I believe most people would rethink their position.
Now I'm certain that they have their own problems which I can't conceive of, but without realizing that different problems hit other people differently, (sounds simple enough to understand, but it's really not) that understanding of their pain can't be reached. We all look at our pain as the most intense that anyone can face. It took me a long time to understand that being blamed for my sister being trans wasn't the single most difficult problem. Maybe it was my biggest, but that's it.
There are nasty people out there. People who don't give a damn if they drive someone to suicide. People that will rob someone else and not think twice about it. People who kill, slander, you name it. While many people think this kind of person is the norm, I don't believe they are. Sometimes people are led by the masses down the wide road, but I think most of us have morals, and try to live by them.
I like to joke that I'm a pessimist, because that way I'm never disappointed. The fact is, I'm not. I look for the good in everyone. I've got to be honest. Sometimes I simply don't find it. Other times, it's a little seed that if watered, can grow to a beautiful flower.
I'm in no way saying, don't be cautious. Unfortunately, there are those who give everyone a bad name, and they will not hesitate to disguise themselves as someone who is decent.
I love rule number two on BCTS. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I think that's the best gift we can give someone who is new to us. When I meet a new dog, I will love that dog with everything I have, but I'm still very much aware that I've never met this dog before, and it may take offense at something and bite. It all depends on how it was raised, and by whom.
People are the same way. Give them the benefit of the doubt, but know that they may turn on you at any moment. You just don't know them.
Anyway. LOL. I think I kinda rambled there, and I'm not sure if it's connected or not, but hey.
Hugs!
Rosemary
And I say all of that to
And I say all of that to notice there is a helicopter circling overhead. About a half mile away, there's a Burger King, of all places where a robbery has turned into a hostage situation. Lovely.
Hugs!
Rosemary
I'm glad
I am so glad that you have been republishing your stories. You are a fine writer and this wonderful site would be the poorer without you and your stories here. I've been reading some again as you've been posting them, if I have the time, and have been enjoying them immensely. I know I may not comment a lot, but I have little enough time for reading and I take a long time writing comments that won't give me anxiety attacks worrying about whether the author will take it the wrong way and sometimes saying "good story" just doesn't feel personal enough to me. Please, keep doing what you're doing. I enjoy your work a lot and I know that many others do as well, so it's good to see your stories back, even better than ever.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
It's Not About You
When an author reacts poorly, just remember it's not about what you said. You know what you meant.
Authors invest heavily in stories. Sometimes they invest too much. They can become irrational.
You're not a person who attacks.
Words are harsh in black and white. They come across much different;y when you're talking face to face. Blame the medium.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Yeah
When it's me I try to just take a step back and think about how the commenter might have meant it before getting upset, but it's not easy at times and I realize that.
I do try not to attack others, I don't like seeing people hurt, but when commenting I worry about doing so unintentionally because I'm socially inept. Something I meant in a playful way taken as insult or the like. Those things aren't always easy to convey in text only form and with my social anxiety I have difficulty reading and understanding people at the best of times. So the best I can do is try to keep quiet or make sure that my comments can only be seen as positive if I don't want my anxiety cycling out of control.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
Low number of new comments
I've thought about commenting on a few of your newly republished stories but in some cases, all that I wanted to say has been said already. I've been giving you kudos almost all the time. One story was just not my cup of tea but that's more down to the mood I was in at the time. My own bit of being a covidiot I suppose.
Keep posting and people will keep reading and I promise to add a comment if there is something new to add to what has been said.
Samantha
I've not posted...
...comments to stories I've enjoyed for similar reasons. Sometimes I'll post a comment that boils down to, 'I liked it too,' but most of the time, I prefer to comment on an aspect of a story someone else hasn't brought up yet. When I've not been able to find something new to say, I tend to rely on kudos to let an author know I've liked a story. Even though it's not as personal, it feels better than duplicating something that had been said by someone else.
I've also had times when I've started reading a story, run across something that triggers a negative reaction, and quickly back out of that story. My reaction does not mean the story is in any way bad. It also doesn't mean the author was responsible for me being triggered. If anything, the person responsible would be the person who did something to me that set up that trigger. There may even be times when nobody is to blame, because triggers can be created even when nobody did anything harmful.
Ummm...am I rambling? I think I may be rambling. Got lotsa thoughts bumping into each other this morning. Gonna stop rambling now. :)
I am also glad that you are republishing your stories
Your stories are among the first of the really awesome stories I found at BCTS.
And I know what you mean about editing newspapers. A friend of mine used to be a copy editor for the Montreal Gazette. She said that her job consisted of making sure that peoples names were spelled right and to fix anything else she noticed. Editing was never finished by the time the story went to print.
Editing
In college, I wrote a major article for the school paper. I wrote quite a lot for the paper but this was a three page article about a new department head. I worked feverishly on the piece for about ten days.
When it came out I was pleased and excited, until I spoke to the person I was profiling, Professor Braun, who I had identified as Professor Brown.
There were three of us on the paper who made up the sports section. One became a high-placed executive for a major life insurance company, one became a gynecologist and president of the alumni association, and one writes fiction for BC.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Thank you, Gabi . . . and thank you, too, Angie!
I was dismayed to see you remove your works, and I am incredibly happy to see each re-vamped one re-appear. For me it's also a learning experience, since it seems there are a number of pieces I've missed over the years, so I'm getting a happy re-education in the breadth of styles you've covered in your time on and prior to BCTS.
As much as so many of us identify you as a cornerstone of our community, please don't forget that such things go both ways: if you ever need anything, even something as simple as a hug or a Gibbs slap to the back of the head, you know we're always here for you.
*hugs*
Melanie E.