My heart is really heavy tonight. I am deeply troubled. Those with no faith in God, or are too hurt to acknowledge it may want to just stand down on this one.

So, a pre-op newbie Trans person has latched on to me and follows me around like a lost sheep, forcing me to become instructive and supportive when I am too much of an old bitch to do so. What is she thinking? Seriously?

It's been a huge challenge to me because if I am to avoid being a complete hypocrite, I have to treat her according to the principles that I say I espouse. She's telling me that she looks up to me and emulating me. Really ? I know that some of you here view me as a right pain because of my rigid stance on certain issues, so how this present state of things has evolved I am at a complete loss to understand.

Worse yet, she is attending the church I attend, and at first I feared that she would get us both drummed out. Much to my utter shock, most people there have taken to her in an extremely loving way. That has been capitol because it permits me to priggishly not engage her at all.

So, the church gives those who are needy a car full of groceries periodically, and today she called me to take her over to pick them up. I said yes immediately because I knew I had to do so, or face the wrath of God. The trip was uneventful, and I was quite amazed at how much she's come round to social mores that I am comfortable with.

She pressed me to be decent to her and I enjoyed it. It is to my shame that I had to nearly be forced to it.

Gwendolyn