Feeling very down

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Feeling very down regarding making my faith fit my need to transition. In fact, I'm feeling pretty down generally.

Doesnt matter. Got to keep going regardless.

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It does matter

Faith. In the event that I fail to perceive where I am and who I am I turn to my faith. I have grown up believing there is a God and that God gave us his son. The only evidence I have is the Bible to tell me about his son. the other evidence I have is the world and the universe to prove there is a God. Blind faith keeps me going. I talk to God daily and he talks back to me, we have a conversation.
Most people would say that is not true. As a born again Christian I know it is true. I pray to God on a daily basis more than once daily. Since I was a child I have prayed that God let me become a female. that prayer is being answered on Tuesday 17 September 2013. I have talked to God about a lot of things concerning me and why I am the way I am. There are nay-sayers in this world. there always will be. There will be those who cast doubts into your thought process. When you begin to doubt you open the flood gates to destroy your beliefs in your self.
Why do you doubt your faith and think it doesn't fit your transition. Who set your guidelines for your transition? You have, you have decided what's right and what is wrong based on your upbringing.
Go to you knees and pray like you have never prayed before ask God for his Guidance. Ask him to show you the way to you life as he has deemed you to be.
No where in the Bible does it say being transgender is wrong. It does say Gods ways are not our ways and God thoughts are not our thoughts.
I spent a lot of time praying and talking to God to begin my transition. Each step I took I prayed about it. Each person who told me that I was an abomination to God I rebuked Satan for.
Dorothy stand up for your self. Ask God to be with you. I have several Christian pastors who are very supportive of me going through GRS. I have no negative individuals in my circle of friends. I've learned to surround myself with positive people. If you remain in the negatives, you will always get the negatives. I will be honest since I made a date for my surgery I have not had a day of being depressed. I was an abused child, I was raped as an adult, I was sexually harassed as a young adult. Through all of the negatives, even being abandoned I found hope and faith. I am achieving something that I prayed for since I was a small child. I believe prayers do get answered.
I didn't do this by myself. My self esteem grew from being part of this community, I grew through bumps in the road, from saying the wrong things. Today I am a better person, not bitter but happier. I had a therapist who insister she could write a letter for my surgery even after I had a psychiatrist and a psychologist write letters of approval. I have never been this grounded. I owe it to a lot of people and to my faith. I did not get her by feeling very down and questioning my faith in regards to my transition. I did for a long time and for a long time I sat on the pity pot.
I'm telling you to get off that pot and grab the bull by the horns. Take a step forward and tell yourself you are worth every bit of happiness you can muster.
Jill Micayla

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

An abject lesson in faith....

D. Eden's picture

Faith is the belief in something that can't be seen, touched, tasted, smelled, etc. - that which you can not observe with your normal five senses, yet you know to exist. The key word is belief - to believe in something in the absence of all physical evidence.

I can not in all honesty say that I have religion. Yes, I was raised in a religious family - by a group of religious hypocrites. For years, I identified myself as an agnostic. I readily acknowledged that I had no clue what to believe in, or if I should believe in anything. I studied science and engineering, which surprisingly enough taught me that in fact there must be some supreme power, some over reaching being, some thing that not only started everything, but held it all together.

For those of you who might find fault in this, look up the laws of entropy and enthalpy some time.

However, science also taught me that if I could not demonstrate something through the scientific method, if I could not observe something happening, if I could not repeat those observations over and over again, then that which I was looking for did not exist. This contrasted with all that my hypocritically religious parents had indoctrinated me in my entire childhood and young adulthood. Thus my active agnosticism.

However, then came my time to serve my country and my fellow citizens. Then came the time where I found cause to believe. Thanks to my Uncle Sam and the US Navy, I was sent places I would never have willingly gone, I saw things that I would rather not have seen, and I did things which needed to be done but of which I am still bothered to this day. I did these things for the greater good, but often to the detriment of the lesser. I saw real evil, and I saw true good.

I also saw many things, many acts of selflessness that renewed my faith. Yes, I'm still not a big fan of organized religions - there are many religions which share many good ideals, but like all things touched by man they eventually get twisted by those who would use them to grab power over others.

Having said that, I still have faith, and when my life is at it's lowest ebb, that is when I remember and I hold tight to my faith. Faith in myself, faith in my friends, and faith that whatever is out there wouldn't make me the way I am without some reason. It is my job to discern that reason, or to live my life the best way that I can.

Dallas

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Read through my own blog...

Read through my own blog and also read If I Could But Hie To Kolob... The latter is a poem I wrote in which my faith AND my need to transition are both featured strongly.

For me there was never any problem at all between my faith and my need to transition. My very coming out was a very spiritual event for me.

Perhaps my own view and experiences might help... Perhaps not...

Please keep an open mind and an open heart though. Whatever you decide remember that you ARE DOROTHY. And that's all that matters.

Whether you can maintain your faith, perhaps with a little growth, for what is faith without a growth in faith? Or if you'll feel a need to abandon it completely... Just remember that YOU are DOROTHY. YOU are a spirit DAUGHTER of a LOVING father in heaven and YOUR BROTHER gave his life FOR YOU. Or not... Regardless. YOU ARE DOROTHY!!!

Abigail Drew.

Contemplate This

Take a look at Genesis 1:27. If you're looking for something to hold onto in the Judeo-Christian tradition regarding gender identity, here's an interesting passage.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

In His own image, male and female. Think about that. His image either: a) is male and female; b) contains male and female; or c) can be represented as either male or female. That's God.

Now, if that's so, what's so special about you, then? God made you as you are, inside and out. In His image. Rejoice and embrace the female in you. Perhaps to express your love of God, you need to allow the external expression of the female in you.