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You'll note the picture above. It's how I imagine I'd have looked if I had been able to live as I saw myself at 13. Instead, like so many of us who dwell only on the pages of this site, I stayed locked away.
Fortune, rather than an accidental calamity, left me bare and exposed as Andrea when Mrs. D. discovered a story I forgot to close on our desktop. Fast forward to 2018, when she wrote in a notebook that I only discovered upon her death that she wanted to find a way we could tell our son about this part of me.
She came to accept me, even to the extent of welcoming my writing. That was due in no small part to introducing many of you in a way. Learning how wide and wonderful our presence is in this world.
Last year I came out to my son and daughter-in-law, only to learn that he came upon an open story just like his mom. They are accepting and supportive while we all still grieve Mrs. D's death.
Which allows me to segue in a manner of speaking.
At 73, I've been having some medical challenges, including the more than cautious approach my doctor has been taking concerning a cyst in my stomach - an adenoma near everything vital. Two biopsies proved negative, but the presence leaves concern that it might be pre-cancerous. A test scheduled next week remains precautionary. Add that to the vision and tremor issues I have and it gave me pause concerning how much more I can remain hidden - the "What do I really have to lose" prompting.
To that end, spurred on by some awesome support and hand-holding by Laika and Joannebarbarella and Emma Anne, I reached out to my younger brother's daughter. She recently gained her doctorate and her thesis was centered around TG health issues. A tentative text transformed into an hours-long support by her. Our conversation was about as encouraging I could have imagined.
I am not worried about the future other than the how of getting from point A to point whatever. As much as a struggle as I have chronicled here, I can honestly say I am blessed.
You all have been tremendous in your support, and I cannot even begin to express my gratitude. Love y'all!
Comments
Stories with happy endings
I had all my fingers and several toes crossed when I joined
Joanne + Emma in assuring you it'd be fine to come out to your niece-
I was 90% sure but it was based on what little I knew about her from you;
and doubting my own judgement + people skills I had a wee bit of trepidation
that my butting in with advise would prove disastrous. Am hugely glad it went as well
as I'd hoped. With her, Mrs D, your son + his wife; you really do have a blessing:
A few people you can be honest with, who believe you are who you say
you are and support ANDREA. The yearnings of the main characters
in most of your stories showed how important this has been to you, .
And while me + the rest of the peanut gallery might have helped
it was you yourself who supplied the one thing that no one else
could give you. The courage to act. And maybe there
was some help from the angels when they snuck in
+ opened your laptop to those big closet stories.
~hugs, Ronni
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
you are always on my prayer list
as well as my "send huggles" list.
Not So Brave
That's me. 'Drea has a ton of guts. She is now 'out' and accepted by three people in the real world. That's three more than me. I've been cheering her on from the water's edge while I haven't even dared to dip a toe in. Yeah, I've dropped a few hints here and there and I suspect my daughter-in-law has me sussed but no open acknowledgement. Maybe I should leave my computer open.
What 'Drea has is my love and that of a few others (at least!) here. This place has been a lifeline for me, "Where everybody knows your name" even if it is an alias.
I can only wish her ailments away and she made a beautiful thirteen and she makes a beautiful seventythree. You can see her soul shining through.
So happy for you
A bit of acceptance in a hard world . . . it doesn’t seem like it should be so much to ask, but it is rare enough to be precious. You had tremendous courage, ‘Drea, and I’m so very glad it payed off. Yay!!!!!
Emma
Those Who Give the Most
I mentioned those who don't pull the trigger or swallow the last thing they ever will are the strongest people put here on this big blue marble. The most giving and kindest are those who hide their drive to be who their mind is telling them they truly were born as. They give up their own life wants, desires for those they love, even more than their own life.
For all those caught up in life's gender blender, I wish I had an answer but I'm not Solomon. The only answer I have is I believe all of you, ever single one, is the most special person God put on this Big Blue Marble. To paraphrase Jason Bourne, "It's not a mistake. He doesn't make mistakes."
Hugs Ms Drea DiMaggio
Barb
The hardest part of life is living it.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl