(aka Bike) Part 703 by Angharad |
![]() |
“This wasn’t how I expected to see you, Cathy.”
“What? Where am I?” I was looking at Sam Rose, who was standing at the end of an examination couch. It looked rather like a cubicle in A&E.
“In hospital, having been brought in by ambulance. Apparently you collapsed in the downstairs loo and Stella couldn’t get you out.”
“Oh. I feel okay now, so if you could call me a cab?”
“That little girl, I mentioned…”
“Susan Green, what about her?”
“I don’t remember telling you her name?”
“Does it matter?”
“Only insofar as I would have breached a confidentiality rule.”
“Her skull was improving as was her aorta.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
“Sadly, your magic wasn’t enough.”
“What do you mean? I thought her major problems were resolved and she’d be on the mend.”
“Her heart stopped, about the same time you collapsed. We weren’t able to start it again, despite having a crash team here in minutes.”
“A crash team?” I wondered what all that was about, was she involved in a car smash?
“Yeah, a team of specialist doctors and nurses who deal with cardiac arrests. They have a very good record.”
“But not this time?”
“Sadly, not.”
“So this proves what I’ve been saying all along.”
“What does?”
“I’m not in control of this, it’s too hit and miss and perhaps someone will believe me now?”
“Au contraire, Cathy; we still have miracles which we can’t explain and they seem to coincide with your presence here, or with a patient’s miraculous recovery.”
“I’m here because I was too ill to protest. I’m sorry, I can’t meet Paul and Daisy, nor am I going to Southampton. I don’t do miracles, it is nothing to do with me and I’d like to go home now, if I may?”
“Mr Matthews and the others are waiting, it won’t take long; do come.”
“No. I’m not well and want to go home.”
“As you wish, but the others will be disappointed.”
“Sam, I’m not going to react to moral blackmail, I did what I could to save that little girl–which wasn’t much–I’m not a Messiah, whether you believe in them or not, personally I don’t; nor am I a miracle worker or prophet or anything else. I’m a field biologist and film maker and occasional teacher–nothing else, no matter what others might think.”
“I’m just looking at the evidence–”
“–Bugger the evidence. According to the evidence, I was classified as a boy, clearly that was wrong.”
“Yes, what’s that got to do with it?”
“According to your evidence, you see me as some sort of miracle healer. It’s wrong, too.”
“But…”
“No buts, Sam, I’m going home. It isn’t a gift, it’s a curse and I’m having nothing more to do with it.”
“I see, I can understand where you’re coming from.”
“Can you? Can you really? I’ve been labelled a freak once in life already. It’s taken me a long time to resolve it, but it’s been worth it. I’m not going to save humanity–not that I could anyway–most humans are like lemmings, they don’t know which way is up. I have three children of whom I am inordinately fond and they don’t need to live with someone they call Mummy, who is also seen as a weirdo. I've done that, been there and probably have the indelible scars to prove it.”
“But you could do so much, Cathy.”
“Yeah, so do laboratory specimens. I’m going to do what I want for a change, I’m going home to look after my children and the others in my family. I’m going to make films about cute furry things because it might help those lemmings–the real ones–and their human counterparts from completely screwing up this planet. If it doesn’t, at least I’ll have tried.”
“Aren’t people more important than cute furry things?”
“Not if they continue destroying this beautiful planet. Without it none of us will survive.”
“I realise that, Cathy, even my myopic view of things can see that, but I’m skewed to preserving human life first.”
“Sam, you’re a doctor, and a fine one. You carry on and save all the children you can, it’s a perfectly laudable ambition. While I shall continue giving them a world in which to grow where the wonders of the universe are there for them to discover and understand. In a civilised world, the two aims would be compatible.”
“A civilised world? No change there then?”
“One day, we have to build towards things, to dream they will one day happen, the alternative is unthinkable.”
“You won’t change your mind, then?”
“Please ask them to call me a cab?”
“Okay.” He shrugged his shoulders and walked away. I know I had disappointed him, but I have a right to life as well and so do my loved ones. I have work to do, raising my children and looking after Simon and Tom and to some extent, Stella and Puddin’. I shall send love to those in need, but never again will I try to single-handedly save someone, except in a conventional sense. I’m walking away from this curse, well away.
I got the taxi home and avoided everyone. I wrote a letter to Daisy, saying that I was unwell and therefore unable to come and see her again. However, I would keep my promise and she was welcome to be one of my bridesmaids.
I knew her response would be anger, that I’d abandoned her and that she no longer wanted to be a bridesmaid. I would feel upset at her upset. Despite that, her mother would recover very quickly as she already had. I know I acted as some sort of catalyst, but no longer, I have retired as a wonder worker.
Those who condemn me, have every right to do so, except, they should imagine themselves in my place, then ask themselves, who comes first? The answer has to be, ones own children.