Lots of excitement in my life just now. I've been cautiously thinking about how I might De-transition, and what good that would do? It might cause a lot of harm by making my housing situation and income uncertain. I rather enjoy not having to deal with men as a man. I don't want to lose that. My Breasts aren't that large, but I do not wish to try to pee standing up, even with my little camping funnel.

I started sneaking birth control pills around the late 90s since I was too stupid to realize that an abusive wife was likely the root of my bad self image. I should have had a divorce instead. It would have been much easier to simply be a crossdresser, and straight. Even Post op, I have not had vaginal intercourse, and it is not likely that I will. Cor, I could have bought a nice car for what I spent.

Gwen

I saw my non VA Counselor for the last time today, I think. I feel good about it. Later I started to watch some episodes of "Stranger Things", and in one Miley Bobby Brown ( of Enola Holmes too.) is thrown into a Psychological Detention cell. That completely destroyed my happy thought. I was confined in one of those at the VA several times, once strapped down. In retrospect that was a huge over reaction on their part and caused by their evil Psych. drugs. Earlier I had been reading an old MRI report that says I have a cyst in the lower right frontal lobe. No symptoms to point to.

I decided to re-read EOF's stories but can't seem to access them. Did they go to Amazon or something?

Gwen

This is set early in the 2000s. A families Mother dies and the children's only living relatives are somewhere north. I think this story starts out in northern Florida or Georgia and they have to hike to somewhere on the middle east coast, or even Maine perhaps. It is a harrowing journey for them and that is all I can remember.

I'd like to read it again.

Thanks
Gwen

Just finished "The Unicorn's Gift", having read it for the first time in 2008. What a lovely tale. It was a rare delight.

I do hope that the author is well and prosperous and enjoying the Maine winter snow.

Much peace

Gwen Brown

Just finished "Darkest Hour" and have watched " The Battle of Brittan" more than once. It seems to me that I have read stories on this site where children of that time were often shipped off to the country. The name of the Author escapes me. Does anyone remember the stories?

Gwen

I've been in the habit in the past of talking to various folk on SKYPE but that can't be done any more do to my vocal cord issues. Now it looks like I will only be available by PM. Sorry. NO SKYPE any more.

After spending most of my life distrusting and hating men, it seems that has been mostly a waste of time. Thousands and thousands of dollars are spent trying to find someone to help us feel right. In the final analysis it is up to us to live the way that seems right to us and save our money.

Gwen

My Desk Top is an HP Wide Screen all in one that is at least 6 years old. As insurance I am thinking about a new Laptop but I need lots of USB ports and slots. I have several SSD drives plugged in. I think the built in mechanical drive is at least a gig. I have a DVD drive that I used to use a lot but lately YouTube has so much that it seems obsolete. Just looking around, it seems that there are so many tiny laptops with little keyboards. Ick.

I don't do Apple, and I run windows. I am no computer geek. I'm a writer and do not do games so no special video drive needed.

When I wrote "Visitors" I had no recollection that it was so much like the movie, "The Beyond". How did that happen? I can't say.

It was not intentional copying.

Gwen

Catherine Linda Michael, we have talked for over 14 years I think, I don't really know now.

I hope that you have recovered from your punctured lung and that eventually life will again be as normal as possible. I do hope that your Holliday was pleasant for you and those with you.

Much peace

Gwen Brown

I am wondering about a theme that I seem to be encountering over and over in stories. It is male saying to female: "You are mine". Do such ideas come from our primitive "Lizard Brain"? I've seen it in "Twilight" , the "50 Shades" story, and just now in chapter 26 of "Easy as Falling of a Bike". I suspect that it is a common theme that I have seen before but just now can't remember when.

Not that I expect it to happen to me.

In the reading of my own old stories, there are over 40 of them, it is clear that they all possess an embarrassing trait. They all seem to reveal the protagonist to be a Submissive in search of a Dominant. They reveal to me why my wife of 38 years always complained that I was too feminine. She did not understand that I was not so feminine but simply a servant, or desired to be. It is sad that we can not just be.

It's near midnight and I am exhausted, so I won't get this properly covered. I was reading an article about Trans Kids that asserted Trans folk are by in large MENSA folk. That is quite a claim. I'll try to get back to this tomorrow.

Gwen

So, someone talked me out of Islam, then my nose ring, and my second piercing in my ear, and my Hijab, and I wanted a tattoo but can't and now I wonder what will be left when I am made suitable? Doesn't anyone want to know me, or do I have to be just like "them"? Is this too much to ask? Am I simply a slave to others, is this enough, will they whip me and chain me too?

This is about a Canadian Christian Colony but it is not about their religion. They are called the Fort Pitt Hutterite Colony and they grow all sorts of grains on the Canadian prairie. When I write a story I try to make it sweet and romantic, with the characters having kind relationships, free from abuse.

I especially like the colorful, pretty dresses the women wear. I don't have direct experience with them. Sadly, I can not join their community. I hope that you enjoy this video.

Got on the bus today to go out and pay a bill, and got off on the wrong stop and walked what seemed like miles the wrong direction. I was completely knackered by the time everything was straightened out. I was sitting there almost dozing and looked toward the back of the Bus. On the first of the elevated seats past the back door sat the most astonishing sight! I was looking at the most pretty 'person' I've seen in a long time. Dykish haircut, combed like a boy, with 50s hair cream, parted down one side. The eyes were lovely but not overdone. Makeup was understated.

I'd really like to have my daughter and her family over but even after all these years I am apprehensive about being enfem when she comes. I do not own male clothing and almost never wear anything but skirts and dresses. My breasts are very noticeable, so short of binding them, as if...

I won't forcibly thrust my life style on her.

Gwen

I remember writing this story but did not know it was attached to a true story. Today, I met the uncle of the murdered Transgender teen. The assailant, a Bosnian man got 20 years. He tried to use the excuse that finding out was so upsetting to him that he lost his mind. Apparently, Washington State has passed a law that bars that as a defense.

I do a lot of reading on Psychological matters and sometimes take College courses. The DSM can most certainly put one in a tail spin if we take it as Gospel. I've noticed that certain schools of thought preach that MTF folk have been abused by males. That could be the case with me because of my own stepfather, and it is very easy for me to hate males. Off setting that, I have met numbers of males who were very nice and caring. The other day on an elevator a man started talking to me and by the time I got off I was gasping.

I've only just finished reading "Life Giver", by Melanie Brown and was greatly impressed. This book is as professional and easy to read as it gets, in my opinion. I tried to leave a comment at Amazon but can't figure that out. There are other very good Authors at BCTS, but leaving them a comment is quite easy.

Thank you Melanie.

Gwen Brown