The last couple of days had been a whirlwind of activity, getting my bags packed, making sure I had not just everything I needed, but also planning ahead or those things I might need, and one of those things was asking Jane to stay in my house for a little while longer, and thankfully she was happy to. I needed her there as an ‘emergency’ contact, the person the family I will be staying with can get in touch with as part of my cover of being a schoolgirl.

Tom drove me up to the airport this morning, and so far I’m five hours in to the flight and I think I’ve just stopped crying. I’m going to miss him, but Annette is right, I need to be away from him, My teen girl hormones are messing me up, making me feel things more intensely, and while I have no doubt about Tom’s feelings for me, I have to wonder a bit now about mine for him. What she shared with me has made me second guess everything about my feelings for him. Is it just the new hormones in my body, my new sexual orientation, or is it something I really feel?

Still, the flight so far is a nightmare, eleven hours in total and I’ve had my last alcohol and cigarettes for a while, I need to be a girl for the next four months at a US high school, and strangely, despite having just completed year 11 in the UK, I’m now about to join year 11 in the US. When my flight did finally land I was glad I had opted for first class again, just to get off the plane quickly. The extra money for that alone was worth it, something I’ve always avoided in the past. Once through border with my new excuse of ‘good genes and a good surgeon’ with all my paperwork matching up, they let me through and then on in to the arrivals hall, where I was looking for someone holding up a card with my name on it.

And there they were, Susan Jones and her daughter Katie, who I was going to high school with. Susan, although I suppose I should call her Mrs Jones until told otherwise was a stylish woman, worked in a hospital but was a bit vague about it so I guess in administration, and her husband was something I can’t remember right now as I’m just too tired. They were smiling at me and I could see that Susan was looking right at me, clearly picking me out from the FaceTime chats we had a couple of days ago. I made my way over and was surprised to be engulfed in a hug from her, taking a few seconds to get my head around it.

They took over pushing the trolley of bags for me, saying that tonight I could rest and recover and settle in over the next few days before showing me around. I was quite tired, I had slept on the plane but of course no one really sleeps on a plane. The sunlight outside was intense, so much stronger than anything I was used to and, well, the weather is wonderful, what more can I say.

I made a comment about it, I am British after all as it’s our default setting, and Katie said, “I love your accent.” I smiled and glanced at my watch. It had taken five minutes before it was said to me and I admired her restraint. Once my bags were loaded in the car, it was a drive to their home in Santa Monica, and despite being in the afternoon, I was told it was going to be a while before we get there. My first introduction to LA traffic.

They had a nice two storey house in the Ocean Park area just a short walk to the beach, although I was surprised when they told me it had good parking there. Then I remembered something I read in book by a travel writer who commented that their neighbours in New Hampshire drove from next door when they came round for dinner when it would have taken less then a minute to walk. Something else to get used to over here.

I was shown to my room which shared a bathroom with Katie, dumped my bags and Katie helped me unpack. She had a disarming charm that I quite liked, easy to talk to and unlike me actually was 17. I had to hand it to Annette, I think Katie was going to rub off on me, and she was already making suggestions to improve my small collection of makeup, some places I could pick up some cheap jewellery, where we could go shopping and would have made a lot more plans if her mum hadn’t come in (I am allowed to call her Sue), and told Katie to leave me alone to recover. It was like being caught in a whirlwind with so much happening, and I took the chance to grab a shower to wash the flight off me.

The shower was refreshing, and I made a mental note to get the same fittings back home as I loved the rainfall effect it gave, and while standing there and just relaxing, I heard the other door open and Katie come in, telling me she couldn't wait any longer as she sat down to pee. Thankfully she didn’t ask too many questions, and once I dried off I lay on my bed wrapped in a towel and drifted off to sleep.

A while later there was a knock on the door and Sue walked in and I sat up and the towel fell off me, and she told me that dinner was in twenty minutes where I could meet the rest of the family. Sitting around the dining table was an unusual experience and I can’t remember the last time I sat round one with my family, sadly long since passed. But here I felt comfortable. Sue introduced me to her husband, who funnily enough worked in advertising, which Sue told me with a glint in her eye, and their son who was meant to be going to college but had to delay it as he broke his wrist last week. It was meant to be a sports scholarship, but as he wants to play baseball that’s been put on hold and now he will likely be a normal student and fight for a place a team next year.

He was quite stoic about it, something I put down to the whole Californian thing at the time, but later I found out he was actually quite happy about it as it took all the pressure away from him and he could just relax for a bit, and then go to college to learn rather just play sports. I quite liked him for that to be honest, he wanted to find out more about who he was. The father, well, he worked in advertising and had worked his way up until he became a senior executive at a big company which explained the big house.

One thing about them that was quite annoying was that they were all very attractive, the father, Bill (and not William), was starting get a bit of the silver fox going and I would be blind not to know he was good looking. The son Tim, had that fit and healthy look and Katie had it too. I thought of the kids I went to school with back home and thought how different they were and if it was all down to a bit of sun?

I liked them.

Katie had the interests you would expect of any southern Californian girl in a privileged and affluent area, the son had that not quite adult, not quite kid thing going for him, and the dad, well, we had some shared interests. But by far the worst thing was both the father and the son made me wet!

After eating Katie was instructed to leave me alone for the evening to let me rest, but I said, “I’d really like to go for a walk down to the beach, if that’s ok?”

They looked at me in shock. Walk? In LA? I pointed out how close it was, and Katie and Tim both walked with me, and Katie acted like she was asked to walk for miles which made me laugh. We were the only ones walking and the car park at the beach was huge! I didn’t want to walk far, I just wanted to have a look around, get a feel for my surroundings and help me to acclimatise to my new and temporary home.

On the way back Katie seemed a lot happier, and I suggested we take a walk down here tomorrow and then along the beach and she said, “But why don’t we drive here?” I explained that she walks much farther in the mall and it’s nice to walk, but she was hoping to see her boyfriend tomorrow evening. I was meant to come along with her, but I’ve no interest in being a gooseberry, so told her it was fine, I’m still settling in and there’s plenty of time for that.

The next day was a late start for me, I really needed that rest and Katie and I hung out for a couple of hours, just talking about stuff and I helped pick her outfit for her date, hoping I was getting better at this. I ended up walking down to the beach with Tim, and he was very funny, almost had a dry British sense of humour in the way he was self deprecating, and he reminded me of Tom in many ways. I helped him with his can of cola due to his cast as we sat and watched the sea before heading back.

Laying in bed and trying not to masturbate that evening was difficult, and as Tom and me have decided only to speak to each other once a month, it was made much worse. The next day I did go to the mall with Katie, she wanted to shop and hoped to meet a few friends there and I was over the jet lag now. It was surprisingly fun, her friends were extremely energetic and hyper, maybe that’s all the sugar in the bread and salads, but I enjoyed it. I joined in where I could, but mostly a passenger in a lot of the conversations. They of course asked if I had a boyfriend, and I decided to say I had just split up before coming here, getting sympathy I didn’t deserve.

And in case you’re wondering it took five words from me for them to say they loved my accent.

The next day I went to the beach with Katie and Tim, explaining the differences between UK and US beaches, the lack of things to do beyond sitting here and they suggested we go to Venice, but should head home first. I had no idea how far away it was thinking we were driving, but instead we were getting rollerblades.

I have never used them in my life.

Well, getting to the beach on them was a good start, and then using them all the way there was a good way to get very used to them, but I was never great, just managed to use them to get from A to B. If you’ve never been to Venice, it’s a really nice place and I liked it a lot, although the locals have mixed feelings about it. The next day I used the rollerblades and visited again, this time on my own as Katie was with her boyfriend and Tim had a job interview. Skating there, looking at the faces and places, stopping to watch basketball or the people on the slack rope things, all of it was just such a change to the UK and crammed into such a small area. I came here quite a lot by myself in my time in LA, like I was drawn to the place. The further you got along the beach there were more and more houses, and I went right along to the marina entrance beyond Venice proper.

I was quite happy, so happy I even broke my own rule, asking someone to take my photo as I wanted to share it with Tom, saying, “I know we promised, but I wanted to share this with you and hope we can come here together soon. X’

At the weekend, Bill was taking me to the museum of contemporary art in LA, and I loved it. It was funny talking about the art and not trying to hide who I was, how we could both discuss the influences and different interpretations, sometimes taking the Mickey out the descriptions that showed the artist was too up themselves for their own good. It was fun.

On the way back we hit horrific traffic and he rang home to say we were going to be late and would stop somewhere for something to eat, having sushi in a restaurant that he proudly told me he had worked on the promotion for it. I think I really surprised him by critiquing it using my professional eye, where I thought the inspiration came from and the messages they were hoping to convey.

He said, “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you.”

Once back home it turned out that Sunday was family movie night, but as Monday was my first day at school they moved it to today and I had first pick. I searched through the various streaming options while popcorn was being made with Katie trying to convince me to pick a horror, something they never let her watch as a family, when I saw the one. I selected Roman Holiday, a film I loved and it turns out Sue likes it as well. It’s a beautiful film and if you haven’t seen it you should, and it made me think a lot about me and Tom, not that I think I’m a princess in a prison, but unlike the film I intend us to have a happy ending.

Monday was a school day, and I would like to say right now that a 7:30am start for teenagers is a crime against humanity! I had to register of course, and had way too many people tell me they love my accent, meet with the counsellor and wondered what the point of them was, and then try to find my way around the school and the weird new culture I was in.

While 7:30 is an inhumane time to start school, so are classroom doors that open into the corridor, seemingly with the intention of knocking out students. I had my first active shooter drill, thinking how ridiculous it is that they are quite happy to let kids to die rather than actually do the obvious thing and ban guns. I wondered if they had firearms in the house and how I could ask about it. One funny thing though, my sixty year old female English teacher was actually English, and when I was introduced as the new girl, I said to her, “Just so you know, I do know the correct way to spell colour and favourite, and I will continue to spell them correctly.” She gave me a big smile with a twinkle in her eye.

There’s not much to say about school, you’ve seen enough movies to know what it is like, so I won’t bother repeating what happens, but I was in most classes with Katie and became a C average as I wasn’t putting a huge amount of effort in, just enough to keep the teachers happy, as for me this trip was about being a girl, and a girl I was. I joined in with all the things I needed to, but like my last school I wasn’t trying to make any long term connections, just being friendly enough.

So I got back to learning how to be me.

I would visit the beach at least twice a week, and Tim would often come along with me if he wasn’t working as a pizza delivery driver, but I made a stupid comment about his wrist being in a cast and how frustrating it must be. Maybe I had a twinkle in my eye when I pointed out that at least his left hand was fully working, which at the end of my second week led to me giving him a hand job after we got back. He was quite a good kisser, but I made it very clear to him that if we do hook up, it’s only going to be a hook up. And we did, quite a few times and I was impressed with his kissing, often quite happy to just make out with him, but at least I wasn’t going completely without.

When I had my first monthly FaceTime call with Tom, we did have a bit of mutual fun, but we mostly talked. I of course admitted to hooking up with Tim and that it was only ever going to be casual, and he said he had a couple of dates and did sleep with her yesterday. I was happy for him, and could tell from how we were talking to each other that even though it happened, he still wanted me. While I could only see his face as he laid on his side, I could tell he was playing with himself. I understand, there was a woman in my past that just hearing her voice made me hard, and we’ve both been missing each other.

I did ask the family about guns, and they told that while they don’t have any in the house, they do make sure that all the kids are aware of good gun safety and would go to a range to do some shooting, just to make sure that everyone was confident and safe with them. My question made them arrange a visit to the range, and when we got there they had a whole series of firearms for use to shoot and choose from. As the guest I was asked to select the one I wanted to try, with them making some suggestions as I was British so clearly had no idea what I was doing.

The moment I saw all the rifles and pistols on the table, I knew which one I wanted, and pointed to it and said, “That one, I want to shoot that one.”

The man who ran the range said, “Are you sure about that? It is big.”

I gave him what I hoped was the sweetest teenage smile I could, took a couple of steps to it and asked if I could pick it up. He gave me a nod and I picked up the rifle, removed the magazine and checked it was empty, held the but against my hip as I cocked it three times and used the bolt hold open device to hold the working parts back as I looked inside to make sure it was unloaded. I then released the bolt, fired off the action, laid the rifle down with the magazine next to it as I looked up at the range manager, saying, “Yes, I’m quite sure.”

The L1A1 Self Loading Rifle, or known to every British infantry man from the time it was in use as the sslllrrr, was my personal weapon and I could have done all that in my sleep. It was different shooting it now, and it does have a bit of a kick, but beyond me being a bit smaller it was like getting to know an old friend again, while shocking some Americans with my familiarity with it. They were of course surprised, and really wanted to know why I knew how to use it, but I just shrugged and said, “I’m used to firearms, I just know the stats around the risk of having them in the house. That was why I asked.”

About a month into my stay, I made a comment about wanting to go to some of the iconic places in LA, getting a groan from everyone around the dining table. I get that, I lived in London and know what it’s like having to be dragged around those places with visitors, doing it too many times with clients and far too many times on the London Eye than I can count. Anyway, Bill offered to take me around them on Saturday on the condition that we get up early and head out before the worst of the traffic. I had no real plan for what I wanted to see, just the map app on my phone and picking them when we were close, but starting at the Griffith Observatory.

I really liked it there, mainly from seeing it in the movies, but we went for a little hike in the surrounding area and he must have planned it as he had a small backpack with water and some snacks. He explained later he thought a hike was likely due to the area around the big sign.

When hiking I’m quite used to getting off the trails, and had no issue doing so here, working my way through some of the undergrowth in search of a great view, and he followed me, unsure if we were allowed to do this. Once I found a great view, I stopped and asked for some water, and Bill, despite looking quite fit for a man in his mid forties asked to stop, pulling out a blanket to sit on, and said, “Please, I really don’t want to hike up to the sign after this.”

I said, “You know, I hadn’t thought about that, come on!”

I jumped to my feet and saw the look on his face, resigned to hours of walking and I started to laugh, sitting back down and leaning against him as I said, “I’m not that cruel, although you look pretty fit.”

I stopped talking and the smile died on my lips, thinking, ‘wait, does fit have the same meaning here?’

I could see a little blush on his face, so I nudged him with my shoulder as I guessed it does, but knowing that many Americans have difficulty with irony, said, “Yeah, and that fit too.”

I gave him a cheesy smile and he laughed.

We sat there in silence admiring the view while we drank some water and eating a very sugary snack that was meant to be health food and I looked at him, and said, “I like you, you’re fun.”

Ok, I didn’t mean it to happen, if I had I wouldn’t have chosen shorts for the day, but yes, we did it, on the blanket and it was very good. He was struck with guilt about us not using a condom, but I reassured him I’m on birth control and it will be ok. As we walked back to the car I felt his cum slowly oozing out of me, thinking to myself I’m quite happy it happened as it means he doesn't know I hook up with his son sometimes.

After that we went to the tar pits, and a cruise down Hollywood boulevard, something I will never do again on a Saturday. This wasn’t the last of our days out, and if we could then we would hook up during them. I felt a little guilty as I was worried about hurting Sue as she’s been so nice to me, but in early December before I left she told me that she knew it was happening, and was quite ok with it. Turns out he became really attentive to her after it happens, and then she really surprised me saying, “Annette did warn me about you.”

My mouth dropped open and she smiled, saying, “We were at university together and I know exactly who you are. Sometimes it’s quite obvious you’re older than you look, Bill can see it but doesn't understand it and no one else knows. She asked me to help you, and I can see throughout your time here you’re becoming more happier than you were when you arrived. You’re more like a girl now and watching you grow has been a pleasure for me. And Annette is really happy as well, she’s looking forward to seeing you when you get home by the way.”

I was shocked. l spilled my guts apologising to her, but she really was fine with it, but I still wondered if she knew I was also hooking up with her son, which stopped at that moment.

Which makes me jump back to Halloween.

So, I had no intention of anything else happening while there with anyone, but halloween is a big thing in the states, much bigger than what I experienced as a kid or teen in the UK, even now with the teens back home when I was at school. Katie and her friends were going to a party and I was going along, but we needed to get costumes, which of course means an excuse to look slutty. I was surprised at the costumes, and ended up going as Wonder Woman, but the Linda Carter version, and for some reason the hot pants were almost a thong and the the corset showed a lot of stomach. I wasn’t sure about it but her friends convinced me and to go with it and what they wore was even more revealing. We all went trick or treating as they thought I should experience that and walking the streets dressed like that way made me feel more exposed than being naked in front of all those men in hospital who were looking up my vagina.

At the party I had a bit to drink, but American beer is quite weak so I only really felt a bit buzzed. But Katie, well, she had an argument with her boyfriend, got angry and drank more vodka than I think she was ready for, so I cut her off before she got too bad, calling an uber to take us home. She was a bit annoyed with me, but she also held onto me.

Back home we sat on the bed chatting away as she started to sober up a bit, and she said, “You’re a great friend.” And hugged me. We sat there for a while holding each other and as we parted slightly, she kissed me.

I haven’t been with a woman since before the change happened, and maybe I was a bit curious, but she was no more drunk now than I was, just a little buzzed from it. So I kissed her back.

By the time we were half naked I put a stop to it, saying to her we had both been drinking and she had the argument so it’s not the right thing to do as we might both regret it. Which is why the following night she climbed into me bed, for what I thought was just another late night chat and she said, “We’re both sober now, I won’t regret it.”

So Katie is bi, but as she isn’t out didn’t want to confide in me before, but as I had turned down quite a few offers of dates she thought I was either as well, or a lesbian. Her tongue almost made me lesbian that night and how the hell I kept the noise down I don’t know, but the next day we did talk about it, and I said I wasn’t bi or a lesbian, but I really enjoyed what happened and thanked her for the orgasms and trusting me.

It did make me feel closer to her and when we did climb into each others bed to chat away after it I never felt any pressure and for a while at least, she was my sister. Tom liked it when I told him, but sad when I said I doubt it will ever happen again. “Maybe for your birthday in a few years time. If you’re a good boy.” He laughed so loud at that my eardrums met in the middle thanks to my EarPods.

Tim took me to universal studios, quite a fun time really, but going to Disneyland with Katie was the best. We wore the ears, met the characters, she was surprised at how excited I was at the visiting Galaxy Edge and seeing the Millennium Falcon, but her eyes went wide when I used my driving license to buy the small amount of alcohol you could get there as nothing would stop me enjoying that to the full.

And before long Christmas was fast approaching and I was planning my trip home. I had told Tom when my flight was getting in, but so far not had a reply as that was part of the deal, so I had no idea if he would pick me up or not. I did wonder about asking Annette as a back up, but I’m a big girl, I can get a taxi.

I had a few farewell parties to go to and got to help Katie get back together with her boyfriend, thinking back to what Sue said and agreeing with her that as soon as she goes to college she will dump him, and be better for it. Sue rode a bicycle with me when I went for my last rollerblading trip along the beach right to the marina, and we sat there and chatted. She was really pleased with how I had developed, saying it was very hard for her to see the man I was now, how I was now more like a normal girl, and that no matter what happens with Tom, I will be happy.

She had always been a bit evasive with me about her job, but as she went to university with Annette it’s not like I needed a higher degree to work out she’s been my therapist while I’ve been here. I thanked her for everything she had done for me.

She said, “Will I see you again? I think Katie will miss you.”

“Katie will forget my name by the time she’s left college. But will you see me again? I don’t know. Maybe.”

I looked around at the sea, the beach, the houses and said, “I do like it here, but I really don’t know what my future holds in so many ways. You’ve all helped me forget about that for a while and I will always be grateful for that.”

We sat there quietly for a while, before she pointed out I needed to finish packing before my flight the next day. We didn’t speak on the way back, there was no need to, but I did feel happy. It wasn’t the thought of going home, it wasn’t the hope that I would see Tom again, I was just happy.

The next day was filled with a few hugs and some tears, before I got in the car with Bill for the drive to the airport. After five minutes of silence I said, “Hey, did you know I changed my flight for a later one? We have two hours to kill and there’s a motel over there.”

He started to laugh and said, “Very funny.”

I told him it’s the truth and that if he pulls in to the carpark I will show him my ticket. He looked at it and said, “How the hell have you got a first class ticket!”

It was my turn to laugh and I opened the door,

Two hours later he hugged me goodbye at the airport and I whispered in his ear, “I know you might be worried about a few things, but I just want you to know I was over 18 before anything happened between us.”

I felt him relax at that, and I can understand it, it’s something I have been very scared of doing, and I only broke my rule once with Katie. As I walked through the airport pushing the trolley with more bags than I arrived with, I giggled to myself thinking how I have now slept with everyone in that family apart from Sue.

I did actually sleep on the flight back and being an hour less than the way here it felt easier, even though the jet lag really will kill me this time.

Walking off the plane I was making my way through the airport into the arrivals lounge, I saw no one waiting for me and started making my way out and wondering if a cab driver will be ok with a journey to the south coast. I was a bit sad, but not surprised really that no one was here. Tom had finally found someone. He had been on dates with a couple of women, and we haven’t talked now for a month, but I’m ok with it, I really am. I always knew there were insurmountable issues with us and he was never going to be with me for the long term. But the woman in this body is happy, really happy for the first time.

I know who I am and I am happy with who I am, for the first time in a long time, longer than I realised, way back before this happened to me, but I’m ok. I hate to admit it but I think I settled for Sarah. I loved her, but there was never that moment of being hit by lightning and seeing rainbows when she was around. It’s no wonder some other woman has that when she went out with Tom as I do every single moment I think of him, and he will be hard to get over.

One of my bags fell off the trolley and I stopped to pick it up and even the fact it happened, that it was heavy and no one helped me with it, I was still happy.

And then I saw Tom and I dropped everything and ran and leapt into his arms, wrapping my legs around him and covering him in kisses. He said, “Sorry I’m late, I had trouble finding a parking spot.”

We stayed like that for a while and I said, “I’m never letting go.”

He laughed lightly, and with me still holding onto him, he put my bag back on the trolley, and pushed it out the airport, with me clinging to him with an even bigger smile than I had five minutes ago.