Joey went to bed Christmas Eve, a wave of anticipation made it difficult to sleep. He forced himself to anyway. He just knew his wish to Santa would come true. He even shared his wish to Santa himself. Santa’s face was puzzled, and Santa turned to his parents who knew nothing of Joey request. Santa asked him if there was anything else he wanted. Santa suggested “maybe some sort of playset?” Joey shook his head. He repeated his request. The mall Santa didn’t have anyone else in the cue. He indulged the child. “How long have you wanted this?” Joey looked up in earnest to Santa. “All my life.” Santa replied “Well six years is a long time to wish for something like that. I don’t know if that is something that I can actually bring you.” Joey looked up at Santa, “But I’ve been extra good this year. And this is the first time I’ve I could ask for it.” Santa acquiesced, “Let me see what I can do, please don’t be disappointed with me if I can’t make what you want to come true immediately.”

“Santa, it’s time for Joey photo!” One of the elves chimed in. The photo was taken. And Joey walked happily to his dad who launched him upward. “Did you ask Santa what you wanted for Christmas?” His father had distracted Joey long enough for Santa to have a quick word with his mother. Joey caught the discussion despite his father’s efforts. Santa wrote something on a card and handed it off to his mom. She had the same puzzled look on her face that Santa had when he told Santa what he wanted. His mom just looked at him in the arms of his dad and forced a smile.

Joey’s Mom didn’t seem to want to do any more shopping that afternoon and spent the rest of the days up to Christmas distracted. He could sense that there was something on his mother’s mind. He always seems to sense how she was feeling. He asked her a few times “Mommy, what’s wrong?” Her response was always, “don’t worry about it sweetheart, just grown up stuff.”

Joey woke up the next morning and realized nothing had changed. The disappointment filled him, and he began to cry. He had done everything right. He was extra good this year. He was helpful to his mom and dad. He did his chores without being asked. He played nice with all the boys and girls all year. What could he have done wrong? He even asked Santa what he wanted for Christmas. He even repeated his request just to be sure. He walked out of his room, knowing what awaited him downstairs. Boxes of cars and trucks, and other boys toys. It would be another disappointing year.

He walked down the stairs to find the neatly wrapped presents under the tree. His mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table. They were talking and drinking coffee. He wiped the tears from his eyes before they spotted him. He faked a smile and greeted them a Merry Christmas and ran over to give them each a hug.

He opened his gifts. As he had expected, all boy toys and boy clothes. He knew he had to hide his disappointment. He wasn’t sure if his wish was something even Santa could grant. He wasn’t sure that anyone could. He’d tried to tell his parent’s once or twice, but they didn’t seem to listen. They just always gave him a sad face and told him it wasn’t possible for a ‘boy to become a girl.’ Boys were boys and girls were girls. The thought that he would never be a girl made his tummy churn.

All his presents had been opened, and he tried his best to contain his disappointment. His mother must have seen him frown a couple of times when he opened some of the gifts. He sensed something from her, sadness though something else. He shook his head since he couldn’t think through what his mom was going through.

There was a knock on the door. Joey stayed where he was collecting the ribbons from the presents. He thought that if even Santa couldn’t make him a girl he could at least save the ribbons and the bows. He set them aside from the toys and the torn wrapping paper. He loved the intricate patterns that turned ribbons into bows. A large man came in the room, a man whom he had never met. The man kneels down in front of Joey. “Are you excited about the gifts that you got for Christmas?” The man asked. Joey looked at the stranger, “I’m happy for the presents from everyone, but I never got my wish.” He said dejectedly.

The man paused then began to speak. “Joey, my name is Doctor Stevens, I’m a psychologist. Do you know what that is?” Joey shook his head. “That’s alright, what I do is I talk to people about what’s bothering them and I work with them to see if there is a way to help.”

Joey looked at him. ”Are you here to see what is bothering me?”

The man smiles, “Yes Joey. Is there something bothering you?”

“Yes, but even Santa couldn’t help me with what I asked for.” The saddens in Joey’s voice becoming more apparent. “I did everything I could, I was extra good this year. I even asked him what I wanted.”

“Please don’t be disappointed in me if I can’t make what you want to come true immediately.” Doctor Stevens said plainly. Joey recognized what the doctor said though he couldn’t remember here he heard it. “Joey, I’m going to ask you a few questions is that okay?” Joey nodded, and they spoke for over an hour.

Joey shared with the doctor his feeling about being a girl and how wrong it was for him to be a boy. The doctor patiently listened, and after a while, the doctor said their time was over, but he would like to be able to speak with him more. This made Joey feel hopeful, but not better. The man left after speaking with his mom and dad.

Joey went back to the gifts he received and put those away when he realized. None of the gifts were from Santa. He walked down from his room to ask his mom about the presents from Santa. “Well, Joey, I don’t think you asked Santa for any sort of toy or gift.” His mother replied. Joey looked at his mom wondering how she knew. “The man, that was here, was here to help you with your wish. He says it’s going to take a long time to be sure this is what you want. But if you're going to be a girl, a good girl that is, I want my daughter to have the best care possible.” Joey looked up at his mom and smiled. “Merry Christmas, Baby Girl.”

Author's Note:

Though I don't think it needs to be said. Sometimes, the miracles we seek are just set in motion by someone caring enough to intervene. That's the 'magic' I wanted to convey. I still love stories about magical transformations and wishes granted out of thin air. I'm sure stories of magical transformations at Christmas time has been worked through a hundred different ways. I wanted something tangible, real.

My hope, my wish, is that fewer experience such struggles into the later years of their life by working through it early in life enough to enjoy and share who they are.

I'm sorry, I'm going to need a little help off the soap box, I'm afraid of heights...