I bit my lip as I stood outside the gymnasium doors. I sighed a bit; I really didn’t want to do this, not in the least, but GAT had to at least do SOME philanthropy, right? The event in question was a phone bank – a tradition I was super familiar with. The idea was to get as many of our pledges and actives together to make calls to complete strangers and beg for money. Okay, maybe I’m oversimplifying it. I sighed and turned toward a bathroom off to the right, the ‘Women’s sign was a little crooked, probably from some idiot jumping up and trying to slap it. After a short, swift walk I pushed through the wooden door and bounded around a brief corner, into the bathroom. As I transitioned from the antique style hallway that dominated the majority of Woodcrest’s campus, my eyes were assaulted by bright white tile and modern sinks bathed in fluorescent light; I blinked a bit to allow my eyes to adjust. As I did, I took notice of Tiffany standing at the far side of the room touching up her makeup in the mirror.

“Hey, Tiff,” I called out. I didn’t have to speak loudly, the sound carried far better in this bathroom than it should have, anything louder than a whisper would probably make your ears bleed. She glanced over in my direction and then returned her attention to the mirror.

“Sup?” She asked nonchalantly.

“Have you seen Audrey?”

As soon as the words left my mouth, she dropped the gloss wand right into the sink. If she hadn’t been wearing so much makeup I probably would have witnessed the color draining from her face.

“What the hell, Tiffany,” I demanded, my tone probably incredulous. “Why are you acting so WEIRD lately? Everytime Audrey is near you, you practically try to climb up walls to get away from her. Like, are you afraid of her all of a sudden?”

“That’s none of your business!” Tiffany shrieked. She discarded the tube of lip gloss into the trash and then rushed past me, blowing through the bathroom door, leaving behind nothing but the sound of her heels pounding against the hardwood floors outside. I shrugged and walked to the counter, setting down my bag and pulling out a bottle of water. The lid’s seal clicked as I twisted it and dropped it onto the counter. Taking a deep breath I reached into my bag once again and drew out an orange pill bottle. I pursed my lips as I read the label. Miratran. I tried to recall what Derringer had said to me, then simply shrugged and pulled one of the white capsules from the bottle. I rolled it over in my fingers for a moment and then dropped it into the open water bottle. It fizzled for the briefest of seconds, and then dissolved entirely into the water. There wasn’t a single trace of the drug anywhere within the clear water. If we were being honest, that was a little scary. I screwed the lid back onto both containers and tossed them into my bag. Turning toward the door I gave myself a sidelong glance in the mirror and sighed.

“You really are a bitch,” I said to myself, shaking my head and walking hurriedly toward the bathroom door. A second later I was back, outside the doors of the gymnasium, pushing them open and walking into a scene of long, folding tables, phones, and GAT members setting up for the event.

“Hey everyone, listen up!” I called out as I crossed into the gym. All at once the chatter ground to a halt as the thirty-five or so girls ceased their activities and looked in my direction. The tables were arranged in a sort of rectangle with an open end, leaving me plenty of space to stand in the center. “Okay, I want to make sure everyone has their uh…list of phone numbers, remember we’re all hitting different businesses, and I know the paper says we’re raising for the American Heart Association but someone bombed the Planned Parenthood on Riker Avenue yesterday so we’re collecting for them instead. The number is um…I…shit, okay, I’m going to post it on the GAT board. Anyway, make your calls, try to sound convincing, and most importantly, stay hydrated! We don’t want anyone passing out this time, our insurance won’t cover it!”

I wrapped up my speech and watched the girls get back to work, setting up phones and reading their call sheets. God, I hoped we could raise at least a thousand dollars, but it wasn’t going to be from Audrey, I seriously doubted her communication skills. As I looked around, I quickly spotted Audrey sitting near one of the corners of the rectangle, probably for a quick escape if she got nervous. I walked toward her, finally stopping in front of the table just across from her. She didn’t even notice me; too busy setting up the phone.

“Yo, Audrey,” I snapped. I can’t even describe the fear in her eyes as she looked up at me.

“Um, hi,” She said, though it was almost phrased as a question.

“You got your list?” I asked, placing a palm on the table and partially supporting my weight. Her eyes went wide as if I’d just invaded her personal space. She nodded and pointed to her purse.

“It’s not going to do you any good in your purse,” I sighed. “Get it out, get started, god.”

“Sorry,” She muttered, opening her purse and pulling out a folded sheet of paper.

“Why are you so nervous? Whatever, did you bring water?” She shook her head at me. Of course she hadn’t brought any water. She spaced food half the time, so why not water. I reached into my bag and passed her the water bottle. “Drink something, you don’t want to do this all dehydrated.

I watched quietly as she removed the lid and took a few sips, and then a gulp.

“This water tastes like ass,” She said, frowning and bunching up her forehead.

“Best I have,” I shrugged. “You ready?”

“I…I really don’t know how to start,” She admitted. I think she was shaking. The other girls around her were already busy on their own calls. “I don’t know how…to talk to people and…”

“You just read off the script, you get them to give you money. Honestly it’s really easy, they give money every year, most of them, I mean. Okay let me put this another way, um, if they were planning to donate, they’re going to donate. If they weren’t planning on it, they’ll just make up an excuse or say no thanks. You don’t really have any control over the outcome.”

She took another sip of the water, made a face and nodded. Hesitantly, she lifted the phone from the receiver, I smiled and tried to encourage her a bit. She dialed the first number on her list and held the phone to her ear.

“Hi, um,” She started. “This is…I’m Audrey Remeika from uh…Gamma…Alpha Tau and I was calling to see if you’d be intere—”

“Follow the script,” I said, pointing to the sheet of paper in front of her.

“I mean,” She stuttered. “We’re calling on behalf of um, Planned Par— Hello? Hello?”

“Try the next number,” I suggested. “Try not to sound like as much of a spaz this time.”

She obediently picked up the phone and dialed the next number.

“Hi,” She went through the same spiel. “This is um, Audrey from Gamma Alpha Tau, I’m calling on behalf of- What?”

I frowned and leaned in, straining my ears to hear the voice on the other end.

“They’re letting guys into sororities now?” The voice on the other end squawked. It was an old lady. “You listen to me, back in my day-“

“Hey!” I shouted, grabbing the phone from a stunned Audrey. “Why don’t you mind your own business, you piece of shit? I didn’t know they let half-dead old ladies run businesses. Shouldn’t you be planning your funeral—hello?”

“Um, that was Zimmerman’s, the really big cheese shop…place downtown,” Audrey said, looking down. “I don’t think I should be-“

“No, no no,” I interrupted her. “You’re fine, I’m going to get to my own phone, but Tiffany is right over there, you could always ask her for tips.”

At the mention of Tiffany, Audrey’s eyes went wide and I think I watched her physically sink into her wooden chair. What the hell was going on with her and Tiffany? I shrugged and stepped away from the table, ready to head over to my chair when I noticed a familiar face standing near the edge of the gym, by the exit doors. Mason. Audrey’s best friend. I looked around, casting a glance at Audrey; she was busy chattering away on the phone, or making an ass of herself. She hadn’t seen him. I quickly made my way over to the door and watched Mason exit. I followed him and suddenly found myself face to face with both him and Leina.

“Uh, hi guys,” I nodded. “We’re a little busy in there so-“

“Did you spank my sister?” Leina asked, folding her arms.

“What?” I frowned and looked at both of them. What did that matter?

“She says you spanked her,” Mason shrugged. “I’m just curious.”

“Yes, I spanked her,” I admitted. “She was being a little shit.”

“Okay,” Leina shook her head. “I’m not going to get into sorority politics. I’m sure you guys spank eachother and have pillow fights all the time, but your house has a problem.”

“And…what kind of problem is that?” I demanded. “The kind where I need to get back to the phone so I can actually PARITICPATE in our philanthropy project?”

“You’re just going to scroll Facebook the entire time,” Leina said. She was probably right. “But Audrey is acting like a bitch because she’s imitating YOU guys. Maybe she’s doing it poorly but you’ve given her a pretty poor impression of what a woman is supposed to be-“

“Okay listen,” I said sharply, but Mason raised his hand.

“Besides that,” He told me. “You’re really doing a good thing here. Audrey is…happy. Happier than I’ve seen her in a very, very long time. I was stupid, I couldn’t see this was who she was and she was afraid to tell me, dunno why, but she came to you for help and you delivered. I really appreciate that. You got me my friend back.”

“Well technically they tied her up and-“

“Thank you,” I interrupted her, speaking directly to Mason. “She has a long way to go, but she’ll get there.”

“If you all stop acting like bitches and teach her how to be a lady,” Leina interjected. “I live over on the east campus, there’s only so much I can do.”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “We’ll work on it.”

“Great,” Leina said. “And for the love of god, next time don’t leave marks.”