Titia
My phone started ringing, an unusual occurrence in my usually solitary life.

"Hey girlfriend!"

"Hey yourself, Paula.

"You survive the night back at work with Mom?"

"You wouldn't believe what happened!"

"With Mom around, I'd believe anything. More burglars? More cops? Any doctors involved this time?"

"It was a quiet night after we got promoted."

"You what!?"

"Take it easy on my ear, lady"

"Talk, girl. What happened?

"The big boss was there when we arrived and as soon as the afternoon shift guys left he asked my Paula to be the head of the guard side of the company when some guy named Alfred left."

"I thought I was your Paula."

"Weren't you the one telling me I didn't have to make a choice?"

"I was talking about sex, you schmuck! You aren't bedding my Granny-Mom, are you?"

"Wash your mind out with soap, girl. She's my work partner, not my bed partner."

"Just remember that, I'm not into sharing with my grandmother, that would be too weird."

"Glad there's something you consider too weird to be doing. I'd been wondering."

"Get back to the promotion, babes."

"Like I said, my work partner Paula is about to become a boss, and she wants me to be her assistant."

"That is so effing cool! Hey - does that mean you get to work days?"

"I guess it does, I hadn't really thought about it."

"Then maybe you could spend a few nights with me, Titia?"

"If you'll have me."

"After last weekend you're welcome any time. And we need to go out with the girls on Saturday to celebrate."

"I haven't got anything to wear!"

"Then we can go shopping. We can use my employee discount. Besides, Titia will need some power suits to be a fancy-pants executive assistant."

"Slow down! The job is for Titus, not Titia."

"It should be for Titia. Are you going to wait until you're Granny-Mom's age to come out?"

"Can I be your kept woman when I get my ass fired?"

"You may be a keeper, but darling, this is so sudden."

"Try to think of the reaction if you got a buzz cut and came into the store with a suit and tie tomorrow."

"I see what you mean…"

"Such things are best done thoughtfully and carefully. I like having a roof over my head and being able to eat a good meal."

"So Titia isn't ready for the limelight, but she can still help us have a good time on Saturday."

"That she can, but we're back to what will I wear?"

"Let's have dinner together tomorrow and go shopping. That should give you time to get to work after you find a killer outfit."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Meet me at my place?"

"OK, but go easy on the wallet - I haven't got that raise yet."

"I've got you covered, sweetie. See you tomorrow."

 

"Howdy Titus. Ready for another boring night at the warehouse?" my partner asked.

"Y'know, after the last few days boredom sounds pretty good to me."

"You have been a busy little beaver for someone with a bad wing."

"Hardly feel it at all now. You wouldn't believe the backrub I got the other night."

"If you're going to go into detail about how you and my granddaughter spent the night…"

"Not a chance, a girl doesn't kiss and tell."

"Especially if there was a lot more than kissing."

"You're a dirty old lady, granny."

"How do you think I ended up with a granddaughter? So what's this with the massage?"

"Well, the other girls took me dancing at this club. Nice place, some good jazz and not too loud. I was going to be a good girl and just sit and listen but this tall, dark and handsome guy swept me off my feet."

"Living dangerously?"

"You had to be there. He was a perfect gentleman and took care not to do any damage to my arm. Once he knew I had dislocated it he offered a massage and my momma didn't raise no fools. It was perfectly safe at a table full of woman in the middle of the club."

"Safety in numbers, eh?"

"I was hoping. Then again, after he had me puddled on the floor I would have followed him anywhere. Good thing Paula was watching out for me. That guy knew his stuff."

"And it's a damn good thing he didn't get to know your stuff!"

"A girl can dream. So can a guy who wants to be a girl."

"So you're two-timing tall, dark and handsome with my granddaughter, is it?"

"If I didn't go home with her then she would have gone home with him. I simply saved her from a fate worse than death."

"Bedding a tall, dark and handsome stranger is a fate worse than death?"

"I had other ideas, the fate worse than death was for me."

"And I don't want to know anything more about it! Time to do our rounds."

"Spoilsport. I was going to tell you we're going shopping tomorrow before work."

"You ever considered getting a job writing soap operas? Where did my shy and retiring partner get off to?"

"You told me you didn't want to know, so I won't tell you."

 

Wednesday. Middle of the week. Hump day. Usually a day to tolerate and get it over with, but not this Wednesday. Not this week, for that matter. To say my life had been shaken up and tossed around was so complete an understatement that it defies comparison.

Chasing intruders, dislocating shoulders, having my desire to be a woman revealed, then having it accepted by my partner. Then being not only accepted but embraced as a woman by my partner's granddaughter and all her friends! Then being in bed with a woman who actually thought being trans was not just OK but perfectly normal. A woman who somehow couldn't see why everyone wanted to divide the world into male and female. A woman who I could make love with but not sleep with because I work while she sleeps.

For the first time in my life I wish I could afford a psychiatrist. Things has gotten complicated. Delightfully complicated, but still complicated!

Now it's Wednesday and Paula (the younger, those two having the same name just adds to my confusion!) wants to go shopping with me for something sexy to wear on Saturday when we go bar hopping. Yeah, two tea-teetotalers bar hopping. This just keeps getting stranger.

So here I am waking up early to get dressed for the evening. Since we're shopping for sexy, that means getting into the girdle. The whole idea of foundation garments is rather fundamental to those of us who want to appear as women but haven't taken hormones or had surgery. Sometimes they can be fun, a reminder that you are approaching your ideal, even if it requires padding. If I'm not going to go out in public, the girdle remains in the lower drawer of my dresser and I just put on the usual underwear that a woman would wear, then relax around home and do whatever it is I plan to do.

If I'm going out in public, I feel naked without the girdle to give me the shape I desire. Trouble is, I spent much of Saturday wearing the thing, and now I was going to need it again. There was still enough guy left between my ears that I managed to girdle myself despite the pain the last time but with my still sore arm putting it on was not the fun experience it usually was. Too bad I didn't have a corset, then I wouldn't have to tug it into place, but tying one up solo was impractical.

 

That blank spot is me getting into the girdle and attaching the stockings. You don't want to hear me whimper and whine, be happy with the blank space.

 

I was ready by 5:30, casually dressed and wearing an embroidered yellow blouse with angel sleeves and a emerald crinkly, knee length skirt. This time I was wearing flats, no need to go overboard. My phone beeped and she was there, so I slung my purse over my shoulder and went out to meet my fashion maven.

You may not believe it, but I really didn't own a really sexy dress. I've been dressing long enough to be comfortable in a crowd, but my main purpose was to blend in, not stand out. Sexy invites people to look closely, and I didn't want to have some drooling dude looking closely enough to detect another dude under that sexy dress.

When I went out I went to the library, a coffee shop, maybe the mall or a movie. Early evening or a day off was time for a stroll in the park if the weather was nice. Solitary activities, things women do routinely, things that wouldn't get me noticed.

So I was petrified to be going into a high-fashion store in the company of the manager to try on sexy dresses. Not exactly your invisible activity, eh?

"Hey girlfriend," Paula greeted me, "looking pretty good tonight."

"Thanks."

"You have pretty good taste. Some of the trans types that come into the store have some uh, peculiar, uh, ideas about what looks good on a woman."

"You don't say?"

"That's right, I don't say, and neither does my staff. The customer is always right, even if she looks downright grotesque. We do try to provide guidance and help all our customers look good, but sometimes…"

"Sometimes your customers look like I did when I was a teenager and desperately wanted to be a grownup woman. As a former pimply, geeky boy I knew that always meant sexy."

"Maturity sometimes comes far too long after fashion taste develops?"

"So it seems. I threw out my mini-skirts a while back when I saw the pictures I took of myself. Digital phone cameras are a blessing and a curse."

"So Grandma says. Of course, some of the pictures of her in green denim and Grandpa Josh in a leisure suit are hilarious."

"And what will your grandchildren say about the pictures on your phone in a few years?"

"Why do you think the phone is pass-coded?"

"Just hope your grandchildren aren't computer geeks, then."

"Fortunately I haven't any children, let alone grandchildren."

"And how long will that last?"

"Why is it that folks are always wanting to marry me off and get me pregnant?"

"Your good looks and charm? Wouldn't want to waste it."

"And when are you planning to become a parent. Notice I did not specify mother or father under the circumstances."

"Given my condition, I haven't had any offers, let alone plans."

"I suppose there's only been one virgin birth to use for an example, eh?"

"A good friend has removed me from that category, so that won't be happening."

"Why is it conversations with you always get around to sex?"

"Because we got around to sex the last time we had a conversation?"

"So we did. I don't know what got into me, I'm not that kind of girl."

"I do believe it was me that got into you."

"Oh you… That's not what I meant!"

"And if you think I could ignore a straight line like that, you're crazier than I thought."

"Far crazier than anyone could imagine. Just ask my grandmother."

"I've been tempted, but she has been carefully avoiding any leading questions. I will say she has used that knowing smile quite often lately."

"I know the one you mean. Not much gets past her."

"Which makes her a good mother and a good security guard. I even think she approves of us seeing each other."

"Does it sound stupid to say I want to get to know you better after Saturday night?"

"Not to me. I feel the same way."

"That's nice to know. I just wish you didn't work nights. It makes it hard to get together."

"Then your fairy godmother has granted your wish. Poof! I will not be working nights soon."

"That's right. I just forgot in all the excitement."

"You are speaking to the soon-to-be personal assistant to the head of guard operations at One-Stop Security.

"That's wonderful! She deserves something like that after all the shit she's had to live through. We need to celebrate!"

"We need to go shopping so we can celebrate on the weekend. I still have to work tonight."

"Girl, you are going to be knocking them dead by the time I get through with you!"