North Jersey Feis*, Sussex County Fairgrounds, Augusta, New Jersey…
Cameron Davison marched across the between the stage and the bleachers under the large steel-roofed pavilion; his family in tow. Nancy struggled to keep up with her husband’s quick long strides. Glynnis had paused and stood in the middle of their walk; her eyes squinting from the bright sun that peered into the pavilion as she looked for her friends. Maggie trudged behind with a large garment bag and a small drag-along case. It was already a very long day even before eight in the morning and it promised to get longer and more arduous for everyone; albeit for different reasons.
“Can’t you keep up?” Cameron snapped. His comment was for all of them, but elder daughter Glynnis winced from the rebuke. He had only told her once about how worthless she was, but that was enough for ten lifetimes even if she had yet to reach her fifteenth birthday. Maggie was the Golden Child; far out distancing both her mother and her sister in her father’s eyes. Still, Maggie hated the attention; mostly because of all the expectations put upon her thirteen-year-old back. But also because she hated how much more she was loved than her mother and her sister. How many times had her attempts at praise fallen on deaf ears?
“Look at the lovely sweater Glynnis made for me, Daddy!”
“This is the best lamb I ever ate, Mommy! Daddy? Don’t you like dinner?”
“I’m trying hard, Daddy. Really hard.”
Cameron placed a lot of hope on his daughter’s performance. While the circles he moved in were small, the influence he wielded from being connected through the association grew almost exponentially with every victory that Maggie earned. Perhaps almost unimportant in the eyes of most people, but very important to those for whom the dance competition meant that longed-for connection to the old country. Cameron was born in Nova Scotia; only one generation removed from his parent’s homeland. Nancy was an interloper; half-Irish on her father’s side with him having the misfortune of marrying a girl from Palermo. And that made it all the more important for Maggie to succeed; maybe for all of their sakes.
On the far side of the pavilion in one of the smaller buildings, two figures stood. One with head bowed and one almost towering over the other.
“But I don’t want to dance with the boys, Dad!” Kev O’Meara, Jr. sighed. Kevin Sr. stared at his son and echoed the boy’s sigh, but for entirely different reasons.
“It’s just the once, son. Just until the Dugan boy gets back on his feet.” Kev winced; words however well intended seemed to assault him on a daily basis.
“But Dad. You promised. I can’t wait much longer. Mom said…”
“I know what your Mom said, but that was then…” The boy winced. It was still painful after four years past his mother’s passing.
“It’s just the once,” Kevin Sr. repeated.
The boy looked away, trying desperately not to disappoint. The immediacy of the moment threatened to move forward into a lifetime of concessions. At fifteen, no doctor would say it was too late, given the boy’s slight stature. But it was more than what the doctor’s said and did. Dancing almost immediately before school started and beyond would mean another year of living in the wrong skin, so to speak, unless they lost the competition or he just went to school the way he wanted, no matter what. Going back and forth was ill-advised for what he had hoped and sent too many mixed signals to his peers; some of whom were already not as open-minded as his friends and pre-disposed to making his life miserable.
“This is the last time. Denny has to dance in the next competition, right?”
“Right.” The voice was firm, but hardly convincing. A promise was a promise, even if Kevin O’Meara made that choice without consulting his son. But after all, it was just a dance; time enough for Junior to move along. It really should never have been Senior’s decision, but there they were anyway.
The boys stepped lively, as they used to say, as the music filled the pavilion and beyond into the pathways and shelters in the surrounding area. The park was filled with Irishmen and women, so to speak, as well as all the folks who thought they were Irish and those that wanted to be Irish as well. As the boys finished dancing, Kevin smiled at the other boys in his group before looking over at the grandstand, searching for some friendly faces.
As the music waned, the applause grew until it was hard to hear the announcer usher the group out of the pavilion to await the judging. Just as his group passed the concession stand he noticed a sober looking girl leaning against the bleachers. She almost missed his wave and would have but for the rude bump by one of the many children milling around the pavilion. As she turned to face the boy she saw Kev and stepped forward, grabbing him by the arm.
“He told you it was the last time, right?” Glynnis shook her head. Kev squinted at her; mostly from the glare of the sunlight streaming through a hole in the pavilion room, but with some surprise and a bit of dread.
“My Dad says Denny is off to a football camp for the summer and won’t be competing at all. You, my dear, are stuck.” She hadn’t meant to tease, but her words made the boy wince. Too much responsibility at fifteen to ensure that the dreams of others might be fulfilled; and whose dream was it for his participation in the first place? He hated the whole affair, but it had been his father’s hope and his father wasn’t about to see that hope denied.
Two girls stood in the midst of a rapidly waning crowd of other teenage girls in the ladies room. The taller of the two had finished changing clothes and sighed. Her friend shook her head at the sigh and spoke
“Gina? Have you talked to Kev lately?” The very pretty if very petite girl said as she pulled on a Sparta Cheerleader sweatshirt. The other girl shook her head no and frowned.
“I’m so worried. Glynnis says his dad promised him to the boys group again without even asking. And you know what that means. The other girl nodded once but followed with another head shake; her face was a mask of anger mixed with sadness. Gina had known both Glynnis and Kevin since fifth grade, and their friendship was almost a camaraderie built of common if odd interests.
The three loved gaming and the occasional foray into Cosplay, but things were getting more difficult as Kevin Sr. seemed to intruding on the boy’s life as he bent Kev’s future to suit his own dreams. Oddly enough, if he had sought to understand his child, he might have been thrilled to know just how much Kev loved to dance. It was the manner in which he wished to express himself that had his father frustrated, and that was sad, since the only thing the boy ever wanted to do from the time he was little was to please his father.
“It sucks….it makes me so fucking mad,” the other girl replied. A new addition to the trio, Moira O’Conner was what your grandmother might have called a spitfire; very volatile if in such a small package, the girl might have been only five foot nothing, but stood in a way higher than her peers. As pretty goes, she was as pretty as they come, but the real attraction lay below the surface. The girl was about as loyal a friend as you’d hope to have, and she wasn’t shy when it came to speaking up for her friends. Gina was loyal and true, but her timid side showed all too frequently when she really wanted to speak up as well.
“Maybe Senior will listen to reason?” Gina shook her head at the improbability of her own statement.
“Yeah….and maybe Sparta wins the states this year.” Moira laughed. A powerhouse of sorts in football at one time; their school wasn’t what it used to be and even struggled to compete against the smaller Catholic High School just down the road.
“We’ve got to make him understand.” The quadrangle of friends was almost an inseparable if very odd mixture, but they had one huge thing in common. Moira, Gina, Glynnis and Kev were all girls. It was sad that Kev’s father refused to accept that fact. Sadder still when they realized that he already knew about Kev’s desire, as Senior put it, to be a girl. He dismissed the boy’s need to satisfy his own hopes, failing to realize that in his own child, every hope and dream could be fulfilled if he’d only understand that it had to be on Kev’s terms and not his.
“We?” Moira practically snapped at Gina and the girl shook her head; her face grew red with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry….” Gina turned away and sighed. A second later she found herself in the warm embrace of Moira’s arms. She’d be much taller at any other time, in a way; heels and hose were de rigeur outside of school. But with flat-heeled Sketchers, she was forced to stand tip-toe to kiss her girlfriend.
“No…I’m sorry. You’re okay.” Moira had almost every foolish reason to be stuck up; a fact for which she continually needed to remind herself.
“WE will do what we can to help Senior understand that one of the best dancers lives in his own home. It’s just that her name is Kelly instead of Kevin.”
An hour later…
“Daddy…My legs hurt!”
“Everyone’s legs hurt, Maggie.” Cameron’s tone wasn’t as dismissive as the words would indicate, but neither did it express concern.
“Cam? The girl is hurting.”
“Now don’t you go getting soft on me,” he said. Nancy lowered her head; the chief of the Davison claign overruled her once again. She turned to Maggie and shook her head in an embarrassed apology.
“Where’s your other daughter off to?” He scanned the pavilion. A moment later he spotted Glynnis talking with the O’Meara boy. He turned and used his head to indicate the duo standing by the concession stand.
“Maggie’s about to dance and there she is with that….” He withheld the invective. The odd thing is that even in being a bigot and a bully, Cameron Davison’s perception, while skewed, was closer to the truth than the boy’s own father. He finished his thought.
“That…girl!” It was about as insulting as anyone would hope never to hear and about as accurate as Kev would have dreamed to hear from his own father; albeit in a completely different tone. Since they were divided by nearly ten yards of the pavilion floor filled with families and dancers and fans milling about, Kev didn’t hear a word. Cameron strode over to the pair.
“Get your ass over and help your sister get ready for the next dance.” He pointed to Nancy and Maggie on the far side of the pavilion. She turned to Kev to speak but Cam pointed once again and snapped.
“What are you waiting for, you lazy cow. Get over and help your sister.” Glynnis looked into her father’s eyes and felt nothing; the saddest thing almost that any child can feel. She shrugged in apology to Kev before walking away.
“And you…you….” He resisted to urge to raise his voice and leaned closer.
“If I catch your fucking ass near my daughter again….you fucking queer!” He turned and stormed off without waiting for any reply.
Kevin watched Cameron walk away and turned to go, but ran right into a very short, angry girl. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into a alcove of sorts under the bleachers; out of the way and much quieter.
“Fuck him! He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s saying.” The truth of her statement failed to lessen the very painful sting the boy felt. He shrugged his shoulders; almost an apology for being too weak to speak on his own behalf. He felt a hand on his back. Gina stepped around and handed the boy a cup of cold lemonade; oddly ironic in too many ways.
“Today, Kelly. After today it’s gonna end. I promise.” Gina was never one for promises, but between her and Moira and hopefully with the help of the girl across the pavilion, Kev would dance his last dance in forty-seven minutes.
“WE promise, okay?” The boy nodded, but his heart wasn’t in it at all.
“Today!” Moira stood on tip-toe once again and kissed her cousin and smiled. It was good that the alcove was out of the way, since it gave everyone privacy as Kelly O’Meara put her head on Moira’s shoulder and wept.
To be continued…
*A Feis or Fá¨is is a traditional Gaelic arts and culture festival. The plural forms are feiseanna
and fá¨isean. The term "feis" is commonly used referring to Irish dance competitions.
Previously...
Kevin watched Cameron walk away and turned to go, but ran right into a very short, angry girl. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into an alcove of sorts under the bleachers; out of the way and much quieter.
“Fuck him! He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s saying.” The truth of her statement failed to lessen the very painful sting the boy felt. He shrugged his shoulders; almost an apology for being too weak to speak on his own behalf. He felt a hand on his back. Gina stepped around and handed the boy a cup of cold lemonade; oddly ironic in too many ways.
“Today, Kelly. After today it’s gonna end. I promise.” Gina was never one for promises, but between her and Moira and hopefully with the help of the girl across the pavilion, Kev would dance his last dance in forty-seven minutes.
“WE promise, okay?” The boy nodded, but his heart wasn’t in it at all.
“Today!” Moira stood on tip-toe once again and kissed her cousin and smiled. It was good that the alcove was out of the way, since it gave everyone privacy as Kelly O’Meara put her head on Moira’s shoulder and wept.
The three stood out of the way as much of the crowd moved out into the walkways; it was about lunchtime and the food booths were waiting. Gina grabbed Moira’s hand and Moira in turn pulled Kelly along as they made their way to the nearly empty bleachers on one side of the pavilion. As they sat down, they were met with some friendly faces.
“Now why would you be so unhappy after such a wonderful morning,” the man said with a smile.
“Because Uncle Kevin is acting like a fucking bastard.” Moira said as her face began to approximate the dark red of her hair. Her father leaned close and spoke in a hushed tone.
“Now you watch your language, young lady.” He pulled back only to come face to face with his wife.
“You have to admit, Tommy. My brother-in-law can really be such a fucking bastard.” Fiona half-smiled, remembering several not-so-pleasant conversations she had leading up to and even after her sister Heather's death. She had tried to put unpleasant thoughts behind her but his treatment of Kelly was one more reason to just avoid talking to him, but for the sake of her erstwhile niece.
“Oh, don’t I know. We just don’t need to be broadcasting it all over Sussex County,” he said with a laugh. He nodded at Moira. Gina patted Kelly on the back and shook her head.
“Mr. O’Conner? Kelly can’t keep this up much longer.” She used her hand in a broad gesture to indicate Kelly’s clothes.
“And she won’t; not if I have any say about it,” Fiona spoke up. Kevin Sr. wanted to be important, and he obviously didn’t care who got in his way in the process, including his own child. But as much as Fiona had a perfect right to speak, he never really paid heed to his late wife’s sister anyway. But she and Tommy together might have a chance of pleading the girl’s case; provided they could actually convince Kevin Sr. that he owed it to his only child to live her own life.
“We’ll have a nice chat with Kev, Gina. Don’t you worry, okay?” Fiona said. Gina nodded reluctantly; she trusted Moira’s parents but she held out absolutely no hope that Kevin O’Meara Sr. would be swayed in any way, shape, or form.
“Uncle Tommy?” A near-chastened voice spoke up; timid in the midst of acceptance, sadly. Kelly blinked back a few remaining tears.
“Do you know Mr. Davison? He’s Glynnis’ dad?” Tommy nodded and shook his head while Fiona completed a sentence for him he had yet to begin.
“Another bastard!” She glared at the other side of the pavilion where Cam stood, giving instructions to his family. She turned to her husband.
“That poor girl…Maggie….he’s put all of his baggage on her shoulders, and I feel so sorry for her. Don’t even get me thinking about how he treats Glynnis!” She turned and saw Kelly wince at her girlfriend’s name.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help overhear how he spoke to her just now.” It was safe to say that everyone within fifty feet of them heard what he said to Glynnis.
“What father treats his own daughter like that? If she were my kid…” Moira practically beamed with pride at her mother’s comment.
“Well, darlings, it looks like we’ve got a bit of convincing to do; maybe all of us?” Tommy said as he surveyed the pavilion.
“Kev? I think it best you finish up with your team, okay?” Tommy said. Kelly put her head down, but Moira lifted her chin and she noticed Tommy winking. Moira spoke
“You mean really finish, Daddy?” Tommy grinned and nodded.
“Yes…that’s exactly what I mean. ‘Cause after today…this afternoon before everything ends up, as a matter of fact? The only child of your Aunt Heather will cease ‘playing’ for the other team okay? Moira poked Gina in the arm in encouragement and they both hugged Kelly from each side.
A bit later...
“Well…that didn’t hurt you at all,” Kevin Sr. said to Kev as he swept his arm from right to left. Second place in the team. Who knows what lies ahead. Why we might even be able to see the team compete next month.
“But Dad…you promised.” Kev put his head down; what should have been a turning point in the life of the child became one more milestone on Senior’s road to success.
“Just one more,” the man practically plead like a drunk asking for another chance, only the opportunity was self-enabling and twice as harmful because it didn’t hurt him at all but was one more moment of selfish denial regarding his child. Without waiting for a reply, Kevin Sr. waved at another parent a few yards away and strode off to begin his post-victory self-congratulatory glad-handing. Kev sighed until he felt a tug on his shoulder.
“I saw what he did to you. It’s not fair.” Glynnis stood behind Kev and frowned; feeling helpless.
“It’s….okay,” was all he could get out before he put his hand in front of his face in shame. She gently pulled his hand away and kissed the palm.
“I wish I could help.” She said to no one, but she got an answer anyway. Moira smiled at Glynnis and pointed in the direction of the ladies room just outside the pavilion.
“I’ve got a plan, and maybe you and your sister can help. Can you and Maggie meet us over there in a bit?” Moira asked as she exchanged a conspiratorial grin with Gina. Maggie’s dance had finished with a decent if unacceptable successful third place overall in her age bracket. Cam Davison was probably walking around outside the pavilion with some business connection now that his daughter had let him down with a less than stellar performance that was due likely to the very thick ACE bandage around her ankle.
“Sure…. About ten minutes or so? In front?”
Fairground Ladies Facilities...
“Nothing fancy; she’s just another girl dancer wannabe, okay,” Gina said, pointing to the girl standing in front of the mirror in the ladies room. Between the large “Closed for Repairs” sign hastily drawn and posted on the door and the tall girl with her arms folded standing in the way, the girls inside the ladies room were still only guaranteed a few scant minutes to prepare operation ‘Wake Up!’ Moira looked at the girl’s image next to her own reflection.
“Damn!” She turned to the girl next to her and brushed the girl’s hair out into a half-way decent do; not very long but nice enough. No elaborate wig like the other girls wore earlier since the idea was to convince, not overwhelm. Modest with the makeup and the outfit didn’t look at all like what the girls had worn for their competition; a very plain navy blue dancing skirt over dark tights and a white sports bra under a grey-green exercise top, all courtesy of the smaller girl who leaned on crutches by the door; her friendly smile completely belying the dull pain in her sprained ankle
And the girl in the mirror looked as if she had just arrived from an intermediate dance class; no one to notice unless she drew attention to herself, which was exactly the plan the other girls had formulated. It would work…it had to.
Just after noon...
Tommy made a point of waiting for Kevin Sr. to walk to him and Fiona. As the man strode across the wide pavilion, he seemed in a hurry. Fiona stepped out from behind Tommy and shook her head.
“I suppose you’re proud of the way things worked out.” She glared at her brother-in-law. He shook his head back.
“Don’t get me started.” Kevin Sr. practically leaned into her.
“Or what? You’ll lie to me like you do your own child? Gee, Kev… what else can you do to me that you already haven’t done?” She would have kept up, but just the thought of her sister’s last days was enough to overwhelm her.
“Listen, you pompous ass. You may be family, but back off.” Tommy held his hand up in caution and Kevin Sr. actually punched it. Tommy looked at his hand and laughed softly.
“I suppose I should thank my wife.” Kevin tilted his head a bit in question.
“You can let go of my belt loop, Fi…I’m not going to hit the man….just yet.” Tommy straightened up just a bit, and even at three inches shorter than Kevin’s six-foot, he still towered over the man.
“I’m really sorry for you, Kev! One day real soon you’re gonna wake up and realize that all you have left will be your friends and your business. And your friends are just in it because of your business. You’ve already lost a wife. Think long and hard about what you’re doing to your child.
“You leave my son out of this…It’s none of your business!” Kevin snapped at him. Fiona stepped up to him and looked in his eyes.
“That’s the problem. Nothing is important to you unless it is business.” She lowered her head and began to cry. Tommy pulled her gently into his arms and glared at Kevin, who turned and walked away without a sound.
A while later...
A kindly round faced (and a bit round-bodied) old gent stepped up to the microphone and took off his wide brimmed hat and waved to the crowd.
“Thanks and thanks again fer that nice welcome. The lads and lass to my sides are great in their own right, but they’ve consented to indulge this old lad for a bit more music The Young Wolf Tones they are, and some of you may remember them from last year’s festival… A lovely tune we like to play and hopefully you like to hear?" His brogue was as thick as the welcome applause and whistles and stomps on the bleacher seating.
"It’s a song about what we civilized folks call football and you probably call somethin’ else…. No not that kind or even that kind… Irish! Jacks and Mollys!” As they began to play, several pre-teen girls began to dance impromptu around in front of the stage.
Some of the girls held hands and danced together; bereft of the fancy costumes and wigs, they looked like exactly who they were; girls having a good time with friends. A few younger girls and boys hopped and pranced, trying to imitate their more talented siblings. Even a couple of toddlers raced out and danced.
But three girls in particular stood out; all in their mid-teen, which was unexpected since the older girls usually spent the rest of the afternoon after competition away from the dancing. The three wore nondescript shorts or skirts and simple tops unlike earlier when dancing included costumes and makeup. The two on the outside looked like they were having fun but the one in the middle looked very nervous.
After a few minutes of different songs and banter, the man in the center of the stage waved his hat and explained that they would be taking a very short break while the Pipe Bands got ready to enter the pavilion for the announcement of the winner of the Pipe Band competition. As the children walked back to the bleachers, the three girls looked around and spied a familiar if altogether frustrated face standing alone by an outer support column.
“Hey, Uncle Kev. Whatdya think?” Moira did a curtsey and used her head to indicate her friends. Kevin Sr. nodded at his niece but seemed to grow even more sullen as he noticed his niece’s girlfriend. He sighed and smiled awkwardly at the girl; Moira made no secret about Gina and Kevin couldn’t begin to understand how her parents allowed it. But as awkward as he felt at the sight of Moira and Gina, he became nearly apoplectic as his eyes widened in angry recognition.
“Kevin?”
“No, Dad. Not anymore. It’s Kelly. Like Aunt Kelly over in Longford?” The girl smiled at her father; partly in remembering a conversation she had online with her ‘Aunt’ Kelly; a friend of a friend who knew what she was going through. But mostly because she had stood up to her father.
“Take that silly outfit off, boy!” He practically stammered. Kelly backed away nervously, but not quickly enough. Kevin grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her away out of Moira’s hands. It was more than ‘silly’ to Kevin O’Meara; it was outrageous that his own son would defy him so openly.
"Dad...let go," Kelly said, wrenching her hand free. Kevin probably hadn’t meant to raise a hand to her even if he had meant to down a few too many that led to the loss of whatever composure he still had remaining. He pulled back and slapped her in the face; not hard enough to knock her down, but just hard enough to break her heart.
“Uncle Kev…stop! Leave her alone.” What took place next seemed to play out in slow motion. As Moira went to pull Kelly away, Kevin raised his hand once again, but as he went to swing back, a very strong hand pulled his arm and spun him around.
“You ever raise a hand to my daughter again and you’ll be in the ER at Newton General in a full fucking body cast!” Tommy O’Connor stepped closer and spoke in a quiet but fierce tone.
“And this is for Kelly, okay, Kev?” He got closer and punched Kevin in the ribs and let him fall to the pavilion floor. The act took mere seconds and the sound of the argument was drowned out by the loud bagpipes and drums that heralded the welcome of the Pipe Bands. Kevin looked up and Tommy smiled and mouthed.
“Never again.”
“Gina and Moira held Kelly as she wept. As betrayals go, there are few worse than a slap in the face by a parent, and made worse by the rejection of everything Kelly had come to know about herself. Kevin didn’t just reject what she had done, but finally had displayed what Fiona and Tommy had feared all along; Kevin rejected who Kelly was. As the three held each other, a fourth girl joined them.
“I’m so proud of you,” Glynnis said, feeling out of place in the midst of true bravery. Kelly was still crying so hard that she couldn’t speak. She reached out and grabbed Glynnis’ hand and squeezed. Moira looked at Glynnis and sighed before half-smiling.
“Don’t worry. We all know what you go through every day, Glyn…. And we’re right here for you!” It was too much for the tall, awkward girl. Her face grew bright red as she shook her head and ran off past the line of drummers and pipers entering the pavilion and was gone.
To be concluded...
Jacks and Mollys
As performed by
Derek Warfield and the Young Wolf Tones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqsEAd1xz1U
Previously
“Gina and Moira held Kelly as she wept. As betrayals go, there are few worse than a slap in the face by a parent, and made worse by the rejection of everything Kelly had come to know about herself. Kevin didn’t just reject what she had done, but finally had displayed what Fiona and Tommy had feared all along; Kevin rejected who Kelly was. As the three held each other, a fourth girl joined them.
“I’m so proud of you,” Glynnis said, feeling out of place in the midst of true bravery. Kelly was still crying so hard that she couldn’t speak. She reached out and grabbed Glynnis’ hand and squeezed. Moira looked at Glynnis and sighed before half-smiling.
“Don’t worry. We all know what you go through every day, Glyn…. And we’re right here for you!” It was too much for the tall, awkward girl. Her face grew bright red as she shook her head and ran off past the line of drummers and pipers entering the pavilion and was gone.
Late afternoon….
Glynnis emerged from behind the bleachers; face red from crying. As she stepped through the crowd a hand touched her arm and yanked.
“Just where have you been?” She looked up into her father’s face and began to speak but he cut her off.
“Never mind. Just get over there and help your sister.” He used his hand in a broad gesture and scowled. Glynnis ran over to Maggie’s side and went to grab the large bag by the handle. Maggie reached over and touched her sister’s arm and shook her head.
‘
“No, Glyn…. It’s okay.” She dropped her gaze a bit and stared at the bag before continuing.
“I’ve given it all to Mary Esposito…. “ She was crying but she pointed to her foot.
“Mommy thinks it’s broken… the ankle. Mary’s mom is getting her car from the parking lot. They said she could drive down behind the pavilion.” Glynnis shook her head and her face turned red.
“But you love dancing.” As soon as she said the words she felt a rude shove from behind.
“What’s this about Mary’s mom? If anyone is going to take you to the hospital it’ll be me.” He snapped as he looked back and forth between Maggie and Glynnis, as if somehow Glynnis was to blame for her sister’s injury.
“NO!”
The word was as forceful a denial as Cameron Davison had ever heard; that it came from his wife was even more remarkable. He turned to find Nancy step next to Glynnis. She put her arm around the girl and kissed her cheek; it was a horribly wonderful day all around for crying for the Davison girls as she spoke softly.
“I am so sorry, Glyn. Please forgive me?” The three shared a sad if persistent commonality; no one ever thought to say no to Cam. But it was about to change. She stepped away from Glynnis and placed herself between Cam and the girls.
“We’re going to the hospital, Cam. If you want to, you can follow us.” She pointed to the green Odyssey that had pulled up on the other side of the gate.
“What?” He was at a loss for words; a good thing for everyone all around, but perhaps best for him, since his silence gave a tacit permission for everyone and anyone to talk.
“We’re not going with you. We’ll see you at the hospital, Cam. Simple as that.” Nancy’s growth in that moment seemed not only exponential but contagious. Cam stepped close to his wife and seemed to glare at her; an expression all too common and painful a prologue to each succeeding horrible chapter in their lives. His face turned red and he pounded his right fist against his thigh. But instead of a free swing of an open hand, he felt Glynnis grab his wrist.
“It’s your fault she’s hurt, Dad. She wouldn’t have…” Glynnis turned to Maggie. The girl had practically cowered behind her mother at this point and Nancy had turned away, almost shielding Maggie. Glynnis grabbed Cam’s other wrist and held them tight.
“I’m your father…You can’t….” He sputtered. Glynnis was crying hard by then, but undaunted through her tears, she spoke.
“No, Daddy… No. Leave Mommy alone. No!” The girl might have been awkward, but she still was tall enough to stand nearly eye to eye. Her face grew even hotter as she struggled to keep her hands on her father’s wrists.
“No! Stop it….stop it…” He went to wrench his hands free. She let go of his wrists and began to pound on his chest but then buried her face against his arm. He went to raise his hand quickly but half-way up his arm slowed and he put his hand on her back.
“Please, Daddy…” she cried as his hand began to pat her. He looked over at Nancy and Maggie; the fear seemed to have gone out of their eyes but they continued to cry. It was the breaking point for Cameron Davison. Some men hit the wall and become even more abject in their failure to be good; giving up and remaining stuck. Some walk away; never really all that bad, but never gaining any insight into their own selfish choices.
But some men and women learn from their failures; a few quicker than others, but with change mixed with cautious hope. Cameron Davison had hit his own wall, and the change had begun with great movement. He literally fell to his knees and hugged Glynnis around the legs and wept. Nancy’s eyes widened in relief as the one thing she had prayed for besides her own need for change was displayed like the ending of a nice fairy tale as the man she thought she had married finally broke the chains of his own making as he became a father and husband for the very first time.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” He cried as he fell backward; sitting on the hard concrete of the pavilion floor as his transformation was laid bare for everyone in the pavilion to see. Maggie hobbled over and grabbed her sister’s hand and squeezed.
“It’s okay, Glyn….I think it’s gonna be okay….”
That evening at the O’Conner home…
“We’ve got a fold-out in the den for now, Kel…” Fiona hugged the girl and smiled.
“What if he won’t….”
She put her head down in defeat but her aunt would have none of it. Fiona lifted the girl’s face with one hand while gently touching Kelly’s cheek; wiping away yet another tear.
“We’ll talk with him. After today, I don’t think he’s going to be very resistant. I’m sorry it came to this. You deserve more and you’ve never gotten what you need…” Kelly’s face grew sadder and Fiona added quickly,
“Not since your mother….” She choked up at the mention of her sister, but finished.
“I know this…” she paused and glanced up and down at the girl. Kelly wore pajamas; nothing spectacular other than that they were a soft cream with a maroon satin piping.
“This is what your mom knew…that we knew…” Fiona glanced over at Moira and Gina as they set some plates on the kitchen table. Tommy had gone out for pizza and was due back shortly. Kelly looked back and forth between her aunt and the two girls at the table and it was just too much and just enough to take in as she began to cry; a nice relieved sob after months of desperate tears. Fiona drew her into a hug.
“You look just like your mother, honey.” She stroked Kelly’s hair and hugged her tight; probably the best hug she had gotten in years, but only the first of many to come. Fiona gently grabbed the girl’s hands in hers and walked her into the kitchen; sitting her down.
“A welcome home meal!” Gina said, pointing to the table. As she spoke a knock came at the front door.
“Go open the door and let your Dad in? He’s probably got his hands full.” Moira nodded and went to the front door. Opening it, she found the doorway occupied by her uncle Kevin. He didn’t look happy at all and she backed away in dread.
“MOM? You better come out here,” Moira called. Fiona hurried to the front door and confronted her brother-in-law by stepping between him and Moira.
“No, Kev….Not here and not now,” she breathed out a heavy sigh and went to close the door but he spoke.
“I…Can I….” he stammered. She thought he had been drinking and she was half right. He wasn’t at all sober leading up to his miserable treatment of Kelly, but he went and sat in his car until the parking lot was empty and way after the sun had set before his drive over to the O’Conner’s. Fiona put her hand up to silence him but he persisted.
“I…I’m sorry, Fi….really.” He looked away before casting his gaze down.
“Can I see….her?”
The first steps in the right direction can be painfully accusative since we often take too many steps in the wrong direction first. But Kevin O’Meara’s first new steps were accompanied by a realization that it was better to be ashamed and admit his failure than to be proud and alone. He began to cry; the first time Fiona and Tommy could remember him crying since Heather’s death. And Kelly could hardly ever remember her father feeling sorry for anything. She stood up slowly .
“Dad?” The girl practically whispered as the word seemed to be almost muted. He raised his head and looked over at the daughter he never understood but in a way always knew he had. And Fiona was right; the girl was so much like her mother. Kev shook his head and went to reach for the front door but Moira grabbed his arm.
“Come on, Uncle Kev…. It’s okay.” It certainly wasn’t okay that he had neglected his child for years. It would never be okay that the years between her birth and that moment could never be retrieved; no matter how well-intended his apology might be. But it was okay that he came to realize before it was too late that he had been blessed with a wonderful child that was his to cherish; not for what she could do or how well she might perform, but merely for who she was. Moira pulled her uncle into a quick hug and a whisper.
“Please, Uncle Kev…okay?”
Moira literally shoved him toward Kelly; the girl had stepped up and was almost hiding behind Fiona. She pulled her around and walked her over to Kev. The two stood face to face for only a few seconds before Kevin broke down; putting his hand in front of his face as he wept. Kelly held back; he’d been sorry before, and she’d invested too much time letting her guard down. But something in his face changed all that as she saw that it really wasn’t the man she had always known, but an entirely new man; broken and ashamed and frightened and finally grateful. She walked the rest of the way and pulled him into an awkward hug; it almost seemed that each was consoling the other, and that was likely right.
“Somebody get the door?” Tommy’s voice called from the screen door at the front doorway. Moira opened it and Tommy stepped inside; his arms filled with two pizza boxes, a bag with wings and salad, and a two-liter Sprite balanced precariously on the pile. Moira grabbed the bottle of soda and walked into the kitchen as Tommy followed.
“What did I miss,” Tommy asked Fiona as she came over and kissed him on the cheek. She smiled and laughed softly.
“Just the prelim, hon. I think the main event is about to start,” she said as she pointed to father and daughter still hugging and crying in the middle of the living room.
“Okay, then,” Tommy said as if reconciliation was a nightly affair at the O’Conner house. Gina tugged at his coat and he turned.
“Mr. O’Conner? UH…mmmm…since …” She stammered. Tommy chuckled and stroked his chin like an old sage before winking at Fiona. He smiled at Gina and nodded only a tiny bit.
“Yes, Gina….I AM in a great mood. And yes….you can date my daughter,” he said, trying to look completely surprised. Moira ran over to him and literally jumped a bit off the ground and into his hug, dropping the bottle of soda on the floor with a fizzy thud.
“Oh, Daddy, thanks…thank you….” She kissed his face a few times and eased back to the floor.
“Okay….before the second act begins, does anyone mind if we sit down for dinner?” Gina and Moira embraced and began to giggle while Fiona just walked over to the kitchen table and sat down.
“You serve!” She laughed and looked over at Kevin and Kelly and then at Moira and Gina before remarking,
“It might be a while before anyone joins us, my dear.” Tommy nodded at his wife and she grinned before finishing.
“Oh, what the hell,” she laughed as she drew her husband into a very nice kiss. She pulled back slightly and licked her lip as she stared at Tommy before saying,
“Mmmm…..Pepperoni!”
A Stá³r mo Chroá
Traditional (O'Higgins0
Sarah & Rita Keane
Performed by
Cathy Jordan and Dervish
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oARdc1EqhWE