The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 2045 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

The hospital car park was quite full and it took us a while to find a space. “Is it usually this busy?” asked Phoebe.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, “I usually visit in the evenings.”

We enquired which ward she was on at the reception desk and then went off to find it. The lift was being repaired so we had to trudge up three flights of stairs. Sometimes I wonder if they do this on purpose to make people exercise.

We eventually found the ward and on asking were directed to a four bedded unit half way along the ward. We soon located Gloria. She was the only one without any visitors, and the noise of several people talking at once was reminiscent of a flock of parrots chattering away, though round here, gulls might be more familiar.

She was asleep when we arrived and I stood by the bed watching her while Phoebe went off looking for seats for us. I touched Gloria’s hand and she opened her eyes, so at least she was conscious. “I brought you in a few things.”

“Oh it’s you, thank you. Where’s Neal–looking after the baby?”

“Um not quite...” at this point Phoebe arrived with one chair said hello to Gloria and went off in pursuit of the second.

“Where is he then and who’s got the baby?”

“Lizzie is okay, she’s at my house being spoiled to death.”

She eyed me suspiciously, “You can’t keep her you know?”

“I don’t want to, I want you to raise her with Neal.”

Her expression hadn’t changed and at the back of her mind was the incorrect assumption that I acquire other people’s children because I can’t have my own–a bit like the archetypal witch figure in Grimm’s fairy tales.

Phoebe walked up with another chair and placed it next to mine so Gloria could see us both at the same time. “Hiya,” she said to Gloria who acknowledged her with a smile. “Little Lizzie is a lovely baby,” she said, “We asked about bringing her in for you, but they won’t let babies on general wards. How d’you feel?”

“Awful, where’s Neal?”

“The cops have him.”

I blushed and she glared at me.

“What for?”

“He was drunk when he followed the ambulance and they were suspicious of your injuries.”

“What, they think he hit me?”

“Or pushed you.”

“Neal isn’t like that.”

“We all know that but the police don’t.”

“So that’s why you’ve got my baby?”

“Yes. I took her because Neal wanted to be with you and I assumed he’d be along later to collect her. When he didn’t arrive I called the hospital in case you were still unconscious and he was staying with you and we were told he was in custody while they made further enquiries about your injuries.”

“But that’s ridiculous,” Gloria voiced angrily.

“I know that, but we have to work within the rules and the police can be very bound by red tape.” I don’t know why I felt so guilty, I’d only tried to help so none of it was my fault.

“So has he got a lawyer?” she asked.

“Yes, I got one of Simon’s friends to send one of his team.”

“But he’s still down at the cop shop?”

“As far as we know, yes.”

“But that’s stupid.”

“We agree but until we can offer them evidence, we’re fighting a losing battle.”

“Evidence of what?”

“Of what actually happened.” I knew what had happened but I didn’t know if she did.

“I can’t remember.”

“D’you remember anything?”

“Being mad with him when you brought him home, then he went off up to bed rather than face me.”

“What happened after that?”

“I don’t remember until I woke up in here.”

“Anything else you remember?”

“I had this strange dream which was so vivid–you rescued me from some sort of fish thing which was going to eat me.”

“Uck, horrible,” Phoebe screwed up her face.

“Anything else?”

“I found myself lying on a beach talking to you then there was a lot of pain and I woke up in here.”

“Sorry about the pain bit.”

“Why? You didn’t cause it did you?”

I shrugged.

“And there was all this sand in the bed. Looked like I’d been lying on a beach–Cathy–it wasn’t a dream, was it?”

I shrugged again. “I don’t know.”

“You saved my life, didn’t you?”

“Perhaps–I don’t know.”

“Mummy’s always doing that,” said Phoebe and Gloria’s eyes nearly popped out.

“Does Neal know you’re calling her mummy?”

I sat there and blushed very red.

“It’s none of his business what I call Cathy. It was my decision. I needed a mother and she was kind to me.”

“Got another one, then?” she aimed at me.

“I offered Phoebe somewhere to stay and she liked and got on well with Julie.”

“Who started life as John, I believe.”

“So what? That was a mistake, Cathy allowed her to become Julie.”

“Of course she did.” Gloria wasn’t my favourite person at the best of times, now she was repaying my help with her usual selfish take on things because she thinks I want her baby.

“Look, we’ll have to go soon, I’ve brought the breast pump and some bottles, so if you’d like to...”

“What’s the matter, Cathy, can’t you feed her then?”

“Actually I did last night but I thought you’d like her to feed on your milk not mine.”

“What formula stuff?” queried Gloria.

“No you moron,” Phoebe was getting cross with her sister in law, “she feeds her baby herself.”

“Her baby–hah–she can’t have babies, she’s a boy,” she spat.

“If you’d like I’ll call social services and they can take Lizzie into foster care. You’re obviously unhappy about me helping you. If you wish I’ll also stand down our legal people.”

Gloria’s jaw dropped.

“An’ next time you die, she won’t save you–you ungrateful cow.” Phoebe stood up and walked off carrying the chair.

I turned to follow only to have Gloria call me back. I turned to face her.

“Don’t put Lizzie into care and please help Neal get free–he didn’t do anything, I’m sure of it.”

“I know he didn’t, but I’m doing this for him and that delightful bundle of joy. I’ll come in again tomorrow to hear what you have to say.”

“Did you really save my life?”

I turned and walked away without answering, leaving the empty chair by her bedside. I felt hurt and angry, but a sort of cold anger. I had to leave because otherwise I’d have said something very nasty to her. As I left I sent love to her, she was lonely and scared and angry with everyone but herself.

Back outside the hospital I caught up with Phoebe who was so angry she couldn’t face me or anyone. I put my hand on her shoulder.

“How could she be so awful to you, Mummy?”

“She’s scared.”

“Of you?” she looked very disconcerted.

“Not especially, I think I was just a convenient target.”

“But you saved her life, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t anymore.”

“And what’s it to her what I call you?”

“Perhaps she doesn’t think I deserve the epithet.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Because I’m obviously not a proper woman in her eyes, I can’t be a mother–the rest I think is fairly obvious.”

“Mummy.” She spoke deliberately her eyes bright though her cheeks were tear stained. “I never thought I’d call anyone else that, but I saw how you looked after your adopted children and I needed some of that. I also liked you very much and could see you were a kind and loving woman, much like my birth mother. When I asked her what she thought, she was happy that you should finish the job she began in being my mother. I’m happy you let me call you Mummy because that’s who I feel you are. Just because you can’t have babies doesn’t mean you aren’t female or a woman. You’re much more deserving of the epi wotsit than that stupid cow in there,” she nodded back towards the hospital.

“C’mon, kiddo, let’s go home and feed her baby.”