LISA’S DREAM -3-

By Susan Heywood

Robert Pemberton answers an advertisement in a contact magazine. The resulting changes to his life are the stuff of dreams.

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I constantly dreamed of being loved by Jenny, but couldn’t see a solution to my conundrum.

~How can I become a woman while loving my beautiful Jenny? Do I still want to be a woman, if Jenny makes me feel the way I do?~

I knew full well the trouble was that I wanted to be made love to by Jenny, with me, Lisa, as the passive partner.

~What sort of a mess have I found myself in? And what am I to do about it?~

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Chapter Four

One Friday evening after dinner, while the three of us were sitting in the drawing room, Miss Armitage looked at me. “You’ve worked hard, Lisa, and are fitting in here well. You’ve been for short walks around the block, but you need to start getting out more. Tomorrow you’ll go shopping with Jennifer. I suggest you go to the Grand Centre in town by bus; it will be good experience for you. Jennifer has a list of items that we need.”

While I was keen to make my first big outing in public, I was anxious about being read and letting down both Jenny and Miss Armitage. I bathed and shaved with meticulous care, then put on my laced corset. As usual I was a little breathless afterwards; it was a relief to sit while Jenny attended to my make-up. I had been doing my own for some time but was quite happy to leave it in her expert hands for today.

As it was almost mid-winter, Jenny suggested that I wear warm separates, teamed with a camel-coloured full-length single-breasted coat with fur trimmed collar. Jenny again wore her red wool coat. Taking up gloves and shopping bags, and after a final check in the mirror, we headed for the bus stop.

I was very excited but also very nervous as my heels clicked on the pavement. It felt strange but delightfully thrilling to be on my first major public outing, even though there was hardly anyone about and we were only going shopping. I was shaking a little when we boarded the bus.

Jenny giggled and whispered conspiratorially, “Well here we are, your first shopping expedition, enjoy!”

I relaxed quite a lot during the journey, particularly when I realized that no one was taking any notice of me. After all, in a bus full of women with shopping bags, two more just didn’t stand out at all.

Having arrived at the shopping centre we slowly wandered around the various stores, just to give me some breathing space and allow my nerves to settle a little.

“Don’t worry, darling” said Jenny. “I’ll do all the talking. You only have to turn on that sweet smile of yours in order to charm the shopkeepers into submission.”

I was worried, but knew that Jenny would not let me get into difficulties.

There were no problems; and at about noon Jenny said, “My feet are killing me; I’m in urgent need of coffee and a sandwich.”

I felt good sitting with Jenny in the café and quickly I relaxed and enjoyed the experience.

At a carefully selected table in a quiet corner Jenny was able to continue my education, explaining how to deal with situations I might meet. After lunch, and a visit to the ladies’ room to repair make-up, Jenny said, “There are some more things that we have to get, and then we can have another look around the clothes shops. I rather took a fancy to those gorgeous blue strappy sandals in ‘Belles’ and that dress you liked will be simply ideal for the office. I’m sure Harry won’t mind us spending a few pounds, particularly as we will all benefit. We’ll also visit the department store beauty counters so that you can learn how to test and choose make-up and fragrances. You never know, we might get a free make-over.”

I was puzzled by the reference to “Harry.”

~It sounds disrespectful for Jenny to refer to our mistress by her nickname.~

Unfortunately the opportunity to ask Jenny about it slipped by as I was pulled through the bustling shopping centre towards the boutique and perfumery.

Eventually tired but happy, we staggered back to the bus stop, our arms laden with not only the items on our shopping list but also gifts for Miss Armitage. We also had two free makeovers and a lot of new makeup and I had a delightful new fragrance.

Chapter Five

It was the last day of February and snow covered everything with a white blanket. Icicles hung from gutters, pipes, window sills, and railings; and all around was a magical land where hardly anything stirred.

I had been dreaming of a Valkyrie - who looked a lot like Miss Armitage - riding the wind and scooping me up to take me away to a world where I wore a beautiful white dress and spent all day being kissed by a woman who looked a lot like Jenny.

Suddenly I was awake, not sure what had disturbed me, but with eyes trying to pierce the night. I sat up, shivered, and then reached for my wrap. Fumbling for the bedside light I finally found the switch and turned it on. I could locate no obvious sign of anything that could have disturbed me, but still my sleepy eyes scanned the room. When I scanned the room for a second time, I noticed a long bulky parcel on my dressing stool; it had definitely not been there when I retired for the night. Female curiosity would not let it stay there until dawn. I slowly got out of bed, shivering again as I went over, took up the parcel and again snuggled under the covers. I found the little card attached to the top that simply said, ‘Happy Birthday to our Darling Lisa’.

~How did anyone know the date of my birthday?~

After a little thought it finally came to me. Miss Armitage had my personal details from Kennedy & Wise.

~Kennedy & Wise ~

That seemed a lifetime ago. I was no longer keen to be reminded of those days and gave a little shudder, pulling the bedclothes higher. I remembered the parcel and reached out for it, eagerly tore the wrapping paper, and then gently undid the box. I removed the contents and held it up to the light of the bedside lamp. Then clutching it to me, I burst into tears.

That was how Jenny found me when she came into the bedroom to wake me. Again in her green satin wrap, she was just about to plant her usual morning kiss upon my tousled head when she noticed that I’d been crying.

Not just crying but breaking my heart, if the truth be known. Stirring slightly, I turned and my tummy flipped when I saw her gazing down at me with a worried look on her face.

She quickly sat down on the edge of the bed, took my hand and held it. “Lisa, darling, are you ill?”

I shook my head.

Perhaps thinking that I had not liked my new doll, Jenny made to take it away, but I held it all the more tightly.

“No! No! P...Please don’t take baby Caroline from me! She’s s...so b...beautiful,” I wailed. “I’ve never had a little g...girl of my own before. She’s so b...beautiful, with such lovely eyes and a sweet f...face and gorgeous clothes. Even C...Carol would not let me p....play with her dolls when we were ch.....children. I am such a lucky girl, being here with you and the mistress. I just d....don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this, I really d....don’t!” I was engulfed in a flood of tears.

“Well . . . your hormones are working.” Jenny laughed gaily.

She bent down again to comfort me and I could take no more.

Moving swiftly I threw my arms around her neck and pulled her down onto the bed. All my pent-up emotion went into that kiss and the tearful convulsions that followed. I had rarely, if ever, felt so desperately in need of loving as I did then.

Jenny responded by holding me tightly against her while I sobbed my little heart out. She continued to hold me until I ran down. Finally she asked, “Tell me why you were crying.”

I pulled myself together just a little and said, huskily, “I already love my little girl so much.” I hugged Caroline to me. “I’m crying because I will never be able to have children of my own . . . real children. I’m also sad because . . . I’m hopelessly in love with you and know that I can never be yours.”

Jenny bit her lip.

~I’m in for it now ~

“There, I’ve said it! I’ve been trying to face facts for ages. Now you’ll tell the mistress and she’ll throw me out, and it serves me right!” Another bout of sobbing racked my body as I again buried my face in the pillow and gave in to my emotions.

I heard a slight sound, turned over and through tear-filled eyes looked up - and saw Miss Armitage. Petrified with the shock of seeing my mistress looming over me, my heart missed a beat.

She picked up the dressing stool, slowly put it down beside where Jenny sat, rested upon it and regarded me with her little smile. “Well! Happy Birthday, Lisa! It was supposed to be, but we seem to have upset you a little. No, don’t try to speak; I overheard most of what you said. Perhaps we’ve been, what you might call, victims of our own success because we really do care very much for you . . . both of us. We need to consider your future with us somewhat earlier than we had at first thought.”

~CONSIDER MY FUTURE?~

“Oh please, ma’am, don’t send me away! I’ve never been as happy as I am here and I couldn’t bear to be parted from you.” By then I had released my vice-like grip on Jenny’s neck, and clutching the doll, turned my face away.

Miss Armitage gently stroked my curly auburn hair and, kissing me gently on the cheek. “Lisa! Lisa! Sssssh! We have absolutely no intention of sending you away.” She spoke with such gentleness that it almost took my breath away. Harriet Armitage cuddled me until my crying had again subsided.

Then, with her arms around both Jenny and me, she spoke softly. “I think the time has come for us all to have a little talk. We completely failed to anticipate the difference that you would make in both our lives when you came to live with us. We also had no idea that you would immerse yourself so quickly and completely into the female role to which you were obviously destined and which we had planned for you. Clearly things have now come to a stage where we must be completely honest with you. You have more than fulfilled our hopes and dreams for you and now we need to discuss where we go from here.”

I pulled away from Miss Armitage and regarded her with puzzlement. “You keep saying ‘WE’ and ‘US’. What exactly is going on? I thought that Jenny worked for you as I do.”

“Yes,” replied Miss Armitage, “Jennifer really is my housekeeper but the situation is more complex than that. It appears that now is as good a time as any to properly introduce you to Miss Jennifer Armitage.”

Chapter Six

My face was still wet with tears but I was thunderstruck by this revelation. Over the next minute or so a number of emotions crossed and re-crossed my mind. I felt confused because my Jenny and the mistress were related, angry at their deception and my unwitting involvement in some devious scheme of their own, puzzled by the nature of their relationship and afraid that I would still be put out on the streets. All this wasn’t helped by the fact that it was still early in the morning.

Harriet Armitage defused the situation a little. “Look, you two, forget the work this morning, we need to talk. When you’re ready, come down to the drawing room. I’ll make coffee and we can sit and discuss this. Don’t bother to dress yet; let’s get everything straightened out first.”

The three of us gathered in the drawing room. I had brushed my lengthening hair into some semblance of order, but Jenny had not yet bothered and looked as though she had been pulled backwards through a hedge. She still looked stunning to me and I regarded her with curiosity, tinged with all sorts of other emotions - including love. All of us sipped strong black coffee.

At last Harriet spoke. “Lisa, both Jennifer and I have confessions to make and it would be easier if you didn’t try to speak until we finish. You might want to put your coffee on the little table there as what you are about to hear may cause you to spill it. I don’t want to have to deal with burns and scalds as well as. . .well, other things.”

I shivered a little, still suffering from the effects of the birthday present, the shock revelation about Jenny and an awful feeling that the news that I was about to receive was going to be unpleasant. Over my nightdress I wore a long, quilted, satin dressing gown which effectively came down to my ankles, but still I shook. I had never before been with these two ladies in this state of undress, but even the sight of my Jenny in nothing but her green satin wrap, together with the mistress in red silk pyjamas, didn’t distract me on this occasion from what Harriet Armitage was about to say.

Before she allowed Harriet to speak, Jennifer looked at me, her eyes bright with love. “My darling Lisa, if I had thought, and could have avoided it, I wouldn’t have put you through all this. It just wasn’t fair, either to you or to Harry. I’m leaving Harry to tell you about us, as I don’t think that I could get through it all without breaking down. I just want you to know that I love you very much. Oh, yes, I’ve tried to tell myself that it wasn’t true, because I wanted to spare you the pain of finding out about me. You may recall a number of occasions when I tried to be distant with you, but I just couldn’t resist you, sweet Lisa. Every time you turned those eyes and that smile upon me I just melted; all my resolve evaporated. And so, here we are. I’m sure that, after hearing what Harry has to say, you will want nothing more to do with either of us, especially me, but I want you to know that I have never before met anyone like you. I love you with all my heart.”

~What can possibly be so wrong if Jenny loves me? What is her dark secret, which has kept me at arm’s length for so long?~

The events of the morning seemed to be happening almost in the third person. I was trying to fit all the pieces of this giant jigsaw together, but was getting nowhere fast and the banging inside my head was definitely not helping.

Then Harriet Armitage took up her story. “Our tale is quite complicated and I hope that, at the end, you will feel able to forgive us the little deception which we have played upon you. We both love you very much - in our own ways - and have only your happiness at heart.”

I stole a glance at Jennifer but she sat still, almost frozen like a statue, save for a constant, almost silent sobbing. Yet it seemed that her face wore an expression of utter relief.

Harriet went on. “As you may by now have worked out, I am Jennifer’s sister. All through our childhood we both had different feelings from those of other children and subsequently spent a lot of time in each other’s company. I was always the tomboy, climbing trees, playing football - in fact that’s when I was re-christened ‘Harry’ . . . and I eat, drank and slept mathematics. Jennifer was more interested in classical music, art and fashion. This got her into all sorts of trouble at school, but she survived, mainly thanks to my protection. Being quite tall I could successfully threaten most of the boys. Those who still persisted in being silly got their ears boxed or kicked somewhere most unpleasant. My sports agility made me too quick for them to be able to retaliate. After a good mauling they usually left us alone.

“Eventually I went to university to study accountancy. Jennifer went to college, where she studied art and fashion and was, surprisingly, treated very well. She then came back home and looked after the house for us while I finished my degree. I returned home to her for weekends and holidays; and we never lost the thrill of being in each other’s company, sharing our little secrets. It was always in our grand plan that, after I achieved my degree, I’d start clawing my way up the business ladder, while Jennifer cut all ties with the past and lived with me looking after our home. I was twenty one when our parents died and left us this house; she was nineteen. Jennifer and I love each other dearly and have always known everything there was to know about one another. I hate housework and Jennifer loves it. We adopted the ‘mistress/maid’ ruse to help you adjust to your chosen role but, honestly, you just took to it like a duck to water.

“Now you may be thinking that there’s nothing particularly unusual in what you’ve heard so far, but there is one small detail that I have yet to tell you. — Jennifer was once my brother.”

To be concluded

My grateful thanks go to Angela Rasch for her advice and her editing.