Byline chapter 18

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Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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chapter 18

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One Sunday morning, Abbey called asking if she could come over. She said she needed to tell me something. And it had to be in person. I couldn’t imagine what it was. I let building security know she was coming and to send her up. I was straightening up around my apartment while waiting for her. I laughed to myself. Since starting my assignment, I had kept the apartment neat and clean. Everything was put away. The trash was in the trash cans. Counters and tabletops were clean and wiped down. It was quite a difference from my old apartment. I thought I had subconsciously succumbed to another of society's roles for women. I had decided to keep this apartment cleaner than my old one when I first moved in. Was I doing this because it was expected of a woman? No matter how I’m dressed or what training I’ve had, I am still a man. I looked around my apartment. I liked what I saw. I decided to continue to keep things this way when my assignment was over. The knocking on the door startled me as I had spaced out a bit. I opened the door to a very happy Abbey.

“Casey!” She gave me the biggest hug ever almost knocking me down. Something had gotten her very excited. When she released me she held up her left hand. On her finger was a gorgeous diamond ring. “Gil asked me to marry him! I’m engaged!” We hugged again.

“Abbey, that’s wonderful! Let me see.” She showed me the ring. She could barely contain her excitement. “That is so beautiful. Does mom know?”

“Not yet. I didn’t want to wake her. Can you believe it? I’m getting married!” We hugged again.

“How did he propose?”

“We spent the day together yesterday. We went to Longwood Gardens. We walked around the grounds, visited the greenhouse and went to the fountain just as it was getting dark. The fountain was beautiful with the waters dancing to the lights. As I turned to him, I saw him get down on his knee. He was holding an open box with the ring. I asked him what he was doing. He then asked me to marry him. As soon as I said yes, the fountain lit up with water cascading everywhere. He got up, put the ring on my finger and we kissed. People around us started clapping and congratulating us. I’m still in shock.” She looked at the ring on her finger. “I don’t ever want to take it off.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but isn’t it a bit soon?”

“Maybe a bit but it feels so right. Anyway, it’s not like we’re getting married tomorrow. It will be close to a year before the wedding,” she said.

“I’m happy for you Abbey.” We hugged again. “He’s a great guy.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out with you and Dave.” Her excitement wavered a bit.

“That’s fine, I’m a guy, remember.”

She paused as her excitement returned. “I’m getting married!” We hugged again.

“You have to call mom,” I said. “We’ll all go out to celebrate.”

“I will. I want to talk with you about something first.” She turned serious for a moment. “I gave this some thought and you can say no. I want you in my wedding party.”

“Of course I’ll be in your wedding. You couldn’t keep me away.”

“You don’t understand. I want you in my wedding as my sister. I want you to be one of my bridesmaids.”

“Your wedding is going to be after my assignment. I’m planning on getting rid of these,” I motioned to my breasts, “as soon as it’s over.”

“I know. Casey, I had my sister with me when I met Gil. It’s only right my sister be there when we get married.”

“Abbey, your friends know you have a brother,” I said. “I can’t show up as your sister.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Most of them thought you were a tom-boy.”

“How about Mom’s friends. Suddenly she has two daughters?”

“Probably the same for them. Will you please consider it?”

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

I called our favorite restaurant and made reservations. Abbey called Mom and told her we were coming over and to dress for dinner. We went to get our nails done and then back to my apartment to get ready for our visit with mom. Abbey found a pale pink dress she had been dying to wear ever since she saw it in my closet. I wore a blue fit and flare dress with lace trim. Soon we were in the car heading to see mom.

I was only half-listening to Abbey as she drove. While I was happy for her, I was surprised by her request for me to be one of her bridesmaids. My biggest surprise was my reaction to her request. I had not said no. I had said I was planning on removing my implants. Unknown to Abbey, my first reaction was to say yes, I’ll be one of your bridesmaids. That is ridiculous. I’m her brother. Maybe this assignment is affecting my thinking. There’s my non-attraction to Hannah. Hannah is attractive, smart and talented. She is certainly a catch for any lucky guy. Yet I don’t feel any romantic attraction toward her. She is a friend. Maybe a best friend. Then there is my attraction to Kevin. I have never felt this way about another guy. Matt was just a fling. Dave was nice. I was not extremely upset when we broke up. Breaking up with Kevin will really hurt. Which is why I have not told him I’m a guy. It’s making my telling him that much harder. On top of those concerns, I think I might be enjoying being a woman. I like getting my nails done. I like getting my hair done. I enjoyed making myself look good for work and dates. I even like high heels, though I complain about them. This is crazy. I’m writing an article about society’s pressures on women, on what society expects of women, having to be attractive, having to be submissive, having to be perfect and I’m saying I’m enjoying being a woman. Now that I’ve experienced being a woman, maybe I’m finding I don’t enjoy being a man. I need to talk with someone. I don’t want to talk to Abbey about this. Could I talk to Amy or Jo? I could always talk to mom. I was told I could speak to the psychologist from the magazine any time I felt I needed to. That is the way to go. Maybe I’ll set something up next week. First, we have to tell mom about Abbeys engagement and celebrate.

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Mom acted as any mother would who is told her daughter is getting married. After the hugging was over, Abbey let mom examine the ring. With all the attention mom was giving Abbey, I was feeling like a third wheel. I knew I shouldn’t feel this way. This was Abbey’s moment.

“I know it’s too soon to have picked a date but do you have a season in mind?” Mom asked.

“We did talk about it and decided early next Fall would be nice. Maybe late September.”

“That gives us plenty of time to find a venue and for you to pick out a wedding dress. Casey, you’re involved in this also. You’re going to help your sister as her sister until your assignment is over. Then you’re going to continue to help as her brother.”

I looked at Abbey and gave her a pleading look. I didn’t want her to say anything.

“I already asked Casey to be a bridesmaid in my wedding.” Mom stopped and looked surprised.

“You did? And what did he say?”

“I said I’d think about it. The wedding will be well after my assignment finishes. My implants will be removed. I’ll look terrible in a bridesmaid dress. Plus what would people think?”

“Your brother has a point,” mom said. “What were you thinking.”

“I was thinking I want my sister at my wedding. Okay, it’s foolish. I’m sorry I asked.”

“I understand your reasoning, Abbey. If Casey wants to do it, that’s fine. Casey, you said you would think about being in your sister's wedding. When do you think you’ll decide?”

“I’m not sure.”

“If you’re going to be a bridesmaid, you need to understand it’s more than just showing up on the wedding day. You’ll have to be there to help when we pick out the dresses and at the fittings. Then there is helping with the bachelorette party and the rehearsal dinner. You’ll need to help with whatever needs to be done the day after the wedding. You need to keep all that in mind. Abbey and I need you to make your decision before we go looking for Abbey’s wedding dress and the bridesmaid's dresses. Do you understand?”

“Yes, mom,” I said.

“Good. Abbey how many bridesmaids do you intend to have? Assuming Casey says he’ll be one of them.”

The two of them talked about wedding preparations as I listened.

Mom was right. I had thought I would just be showing up for the wedding. If I did this, I would be presenting as a woman, at times, until the end of next September. This was going to require more thought than I was willing to give to it at the moment.

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We were seated at dinner waiting for our food to arrive. Mom looked up when she heard her name. Looking over I saw Mrs. Henderson waving to her.

“Oh look, it’s Mr. and Mrs. Henderson,” Mom said.

“Oh no, Mom, they can’t see me.” I started to get up.

“Hush, stay right where you are.”

The hostess started to show them their table and brought them past us.

“Sheila, so good to see you,” Mrs. Henderson said.

“Good to see you, Sue. You to Rick.

“Are these are your children?”

“Yes, you remember Abbey and Casey.”
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Mrs. Henderson took seeing me in a dress right in stride. Mr. Henderson had a confused look on his face.

“My you two are all grown up. I remember when Casey used to cut our lawn. It’s nice to see the three of you together for a nice dinner.”

“We’re here celebrating Abbey’s engagement,” Mom said.

“How wonderful,” Mrs. Henderson said. “You must show me the ring.”

Abbey got up to show Mrs. Henderson the ring.

“It’s lovely dear. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Abbey said.

“The hostess is waiting for us. Good seeing you all and congratulations again Abbey.”

She took her husband's arm and began walking past me. As they did I heard her say to her husband, ‘I told you she was a girl. You wouldn’t listen to me.’

It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. Abbey turned to me.

“I told you. Almost everyone thought you were a tomboy.”

“Casey, if you want to be in the wedding, you have nothing to worry about with family.” Mom straightened her napkin on her lap. She looked me squarely in the eyes. “Let’s settle this now.”

“You want an answer now?”

“This is as good a time as any. While I’m surprised your sister has asked such a thing of you,” She glanced at Abbey. “The one thing I haven’t heard is you saying no. You’ve given excuses but have not refused. I think you would like to be a bridesmaid for your sister. If you do, say so and let’s be done with this nonsense.”

How does she always know what I’m thinking?

“Alright. Yes, Abbey. I’ll be one of your bridesmaids.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you.” She got up to try to hug me and almost tipped the table over.

“Thank your sister at home. I’d like to keep the table upright and the drinks out of our laps,” she said. Our waiter was coming to our table. “Here’s our food.”

~~0~~

“Thanks for agreeing to be in the wedding,” Abbey said. We had been on the way back to Philly for no more than five minutes.

“I still have to figure out how I’m going to do it though. I’m planning on going back to being me after the assignment is over.”

“Who says this isn’t you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I think you’re enjoying being a woman.”

“It has its moments.”

“Well, I like having my sister around. I’m glad she’s going to be in my wedding.”

In some way, I think Abbey was right. I did enjoy one thing about being a woman. People didn’t stare at me with a confused look. I present as a woman. People see a woman. I only have to explain I’m a man on rare occasions. I’m still putting it off with Kevin.

Abbey being engaged to Gil brought Dave to mind. I liked him. Not in the way Abbey likes his brother. Of course, after our talk, we knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I never dreamed about marriage the way Abbey did when we were young. Right now, my marriage is the furthest thing from my mind.

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I did make an appointment with the magazine psychologist. I felt slightly better after the visit. I told him about Hannah and that I thought I should feel some romantic attraction to her. He asked if I was romantically attracted to every pretty, smart girl I see. He also asked if I was romantically attracted to all the good-looking guys at work. I said no to both questions. He asked if, being Bi, I would be attracted to Kevin if I was still presenting as a man. My first reaction was to say Kevin probably wouldn’t be attracted to me if I was presenting as a man. The psychologist pointed out I was avoiding answering his question. I had to admit I would be attracted to Kevin.

At the end of our session, we both agreed the assignment was not affecting my attraction to women. One thing we didn’t talk about was why I’m not telling Kevin I’m a guy.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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