Chapter 13

"What does this all mean?" Amanda asked her attorney, Bob Nichols.

"Apparently, your father set up a trust fund for Nikki like he did for you," he said. "Your stepmother, did, too. The Lancasters were able to dip into it when they had custody of Nikki. They can't now, so they want they want Nikki back."

Amanda was enraged. Money was not even on her mind when she took custody of Nikki. She knew there must have been money for her, but she never really pursued.

"What kind of chance do they have of taking custody back from me?" Amanda said.

"Under normal circumstances, very difficult," he said. "To challenge custody, you would have to prove the person who has custody is unfit, or that a change of custody would be in the best interest of the child. As a sibling, you also have a higher priority than an uncle does."

"I'm a good mother," Amanda said. "They couldn't handle Nikki. She's done fine living with me."

"Well, you're allowing her to live as a girl," Nichols said. "They've hired a private investigator and they know that. The rulings from judges on transgendered children have been all over the map."

He told her of a couple in Ohio who lost custody of their child because they chose to raise him as a girl. He also told her of a mother in Virginia who lost custody of her child to her ex-husband because she chose to raise their son as a girl. She lost custody because she defied a court order forbidding her from raising him as a girl.

"It really depends on the judge and how conservative a community is," he said. "Fortunately, we don't live in a community as conservative as those two cases."

"She'll be devastated," Amanda said. "She's going to a sleepover at a friend's house tonight. I won't tell her until after she comes home. I want her to have fun and not to worry."

Deep down, Amanda worried. Nikki's nightmares seemed to be going away over the last few days. They were sure to return.

"I also think you need to change attorneys for this," he said. "I don't have experience with cases like these."

"Who do you recommend?" Amanda asked.

"Nita Walker," he said. "I've already contacted her. She is more than willing to take the case."

"I've heard of her," Amanda said. "But isn't she known for taking on feminist causes?"

"Oh yeah, she is," he said. "I've gone against her a couple of times and lost. She's also got experience handling gender identity issues. I'll contact her to set up an appointment for you."

"Thanks, Bob, I appreciate all of your help on this," Amanda said.

Words could not describe how she felt as she walked out of her attorney's office. How would she tell Nikki about this? Nikki went through hell when she lived with her aunt and uncle.

She knew she had to find a way to protect her daughter. She hoped the attorney Bob was referring her to could help keep a tragedy from happening.

She also resolved to make the Lancasters pay for what they've done to Nikki. They were greedy and they've tortured him enough.

*****

"Do you think I should take this?" Nikki told Amanda, showing her a shirt she was going to take with her to the sleepover at Meredith's.

"I think that would be cute," Amanda said as Nikki packed it in her overnight bag.

She also packed a pair of jeans, her night gown and a swimming suit, The Bakers had a pool.

"Can you pass me my CDs," Nikki said, pointing to a stack on her dresser.

"Are you sure you girls were going to have time to listen to all of those?" Amanda said. "You're just staying over night."

"Oh, mom!" Nikki said.

"Sorry, didn't mean to pick at you sweetpea," she said as she gave Nikki a big hug, a little bigger than usual.

"Anything wrong mom?" Nikki said, sensing the embrace was a little different than normal.

"I was thinking about what a beautiful girl you're becoming," Amanda said. "I was thinking about how I was thankful you came to live with us. Our lives were not complete without you."

"I'm thankful I'm here, too, mom," Nikki said.

Amber and Kayla joined them in the car as they rode over to the Bakers. They arrived about the same time as Sara.

"You really look nice, Nikki," Meredith's mom said as they came through the door.

"Mandy, how have you been?"

"Could be better," Amanda said. "I've been really busy."

She wasn't about to tell her what was going on with Nicole's custody situation. She knew Meredith and her mother were just now coming to terms with Nicole living as a girl.

It was a nice thing they were doing. She didn't want to burden them even further.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Sara asked Meredith.

"Thought we'd hit the pool first," Meredith said. "Then maybe some music, movies and maybe dancing. Mom's ordering pizza."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Nikki said before they went to put their suits on.

This time, she chose a one-piece instead of the bikini she had worn over Sam's.

"Last one in is a rotten egg!" Meredith said before they plunged in.

Meredith's mother was amazed. No one would have ever thought that Nikki had been anything but a girl. She was sorrowful about how they reacted when they first heard the news.

The girls had fun in the pool. They raced at first. No one was really the fastest.

They even tried their best ballet moves in the pool.

"I'm doing a fouette!" Sara shouted, trying to impress her friends. Nikki was practicing her ron de jambres and grande battements. She was amazed how slow her legs moved in the water and how high she could kick.

"This is really cool," Meredith said.

They also talked about boys. The talk soon turned to Sam.

"So do you want Sam to be your boyfriend?" Meredith asked.

Nikki blushed.

"I don't know," she said. "He is kind of cute."

"I'll take that as a yes," Meredith giggled.

"I don't know, we're taking it kind of slow," Nikki said. "I don't want too much going on at one time in my life."

"That's probably a good idea," Sara said, although she did like the idea of her friend being her girlfriend's cousin.

"Girls, pizza's here!" Meredith's mother shouted.

The girls hurried out of the pool and dried off.

"Go upstairs and change right quick," she said.

"Okay, Mrs. Baker!" Nikki said.

Nikki put on her shirt with a pair of cutoff jeans.

"Wow, that's cute top!" Sara said.

All three were similarly dressed. They did their best to dry their hair, but rushed down stairs. They didn't want to get the pizza to get cold.

"I'll help each of you with your hair when you get done eating," Meredith's mother said.

"That would be cool, mom!" Meredith said.

Anna Baker couldn't believe three girls could put away pizza the way they did. Then it was off to upstairs, where she combed each of their hair.

"Nikki, you have beautiful hair," she said as she combed Nikki's. "If it were a little longer, I would braid it."

"It's so pretty and blonde," Sara said. "Wish mine was nice and golden like yours."

"I really think yours is beautiful, I'd love to have it," Nicole said. Sara's hair was long and brown.

"Frankly, I prefer redheads," Meredith giggled. She had auburn hair.

"Oh, I think your hair is very beautiful!" Nikki said.

Their evening was filled with dance movies. Center Stage, Step Up and Save the Last Dance were their favorites.

Meredith and Sara did their best to show Nikki ballet moves and jazz moves, at least as much as her bedroom would allow without knocking things over.

"You girls turn that music down!" Meredith's mother shouted as they listened to their CDs. She couldn't understand why they liked "screamo music."

*****

Amanda really enjoyed hearing Nikki talk about the sleepover. She was glad Nikki had a great time. With everything she's gone through, she needed to have a night of fun with the girls.

She struggled for words to tell her. She didn't know what to say. It was almost like bringing Nikki's world crashing down.

"No, I'm not going back!" Nikki shouted. "I'll kill myself before I'll go back!"

Amanda knew those weren't just words. She knew Nikki's life really was at stake.

"I don't want to go back to being Nicholas," Nikki said. "I'm not a boy!"

Nikki and Amanda both were in tears. Amber and Kayla both came into the room. They all embraced into one big group hug.

"I promise you Nikki, you won't have to go back to being Nicholas again," Amanda said. "I've got all three of my girls here. No one is going to break up this family."

"We're not going to let them take you away from us," cried Amber, agreeing with what her mother said.

*****

"Come on in, Ms. Walker will see you now," the secretary said to Amanda and Nikki.

"Take a seat, my name is Nita," the woman said from behind a desk.

She wasn't quite what Amanda was expecting. She was a woman in her mid-thirties. Nita Walker could just as easily have been a soccer mom instead of an intimidating attorney.

"You must be Nikki?" she said. "My daughter Pamela says she's in your P.E. class at Royal Hills."

"You’re Pam's mom?" Nikki asked.

"Yup," she said. "So how do you like Royal Hills?"

"I like it a lot," Nikki said. "Everybody seems really nice there. I like it better than my old school."

"That's good to hear," Ms. Walker said. "One reason I picked it was because of the tolerance program they have. I want my daughter to grow up to be open minded. I want you to grow up to be open minded, too."

"Yes, ma'am," Nikki said.

"Now let's go over your case," she said.

She asked for Nicole to be there in case she had any questions. She also wanted to be as reassuring as she possibly could be.

"We do have some good news," she said. "The case has been assigned to Judge Myra Williams’s court. She's proven to be very sensitive to cases like the one we have."

"That's good," Amanda said. "Bob Nichols told me about similar cases where custody was lost."

"Well, I've examined quite a few things since you talked to Bob," Ms. Walker said. "Thank you for sending all of the documents over. Thanks for letting me speak to Andrea, she was quite helpful and will be a good witness for us."

She proceeded to lay out a strategy. Andrea's testimony about the Lancasters' abuse of Nikki would play a major role. Their desire to keep drawing from the trust fund, Ms. Walker said, would also come back to aunt them.

"I find it interesting that you did not seek to find out if there were any trust left for Nikki," she said. "That's something that will work in our favor. They'll know right away that you're not in it for the money."

"I was more worried about Nikki's welfare," Amanda said.

"That is the main point of our case," Ms. Walker said. "We're going to show that you have looked out for Nikki's best interest the moment you took custody."

Ms. Walker then looked Nicole in the eyes.

"We're also going to show that you living as a girl is in your best interest," Ms. Walker said. "Sometimes, parents in cases like these back down. They force their children back to the gender they were born to as a compromise. We're not going to do that. I want the judge to see that Nikki is nothing but a 12-year-old girl trying to live a normal life."

Strengthening their case, she said, were the nightmares of Nikki's life in Boston, the fact that they were coming to an end before the Lancasters filed to regain custody and the fact that Nikki's grades had improved greatly since she had come to live with Amanda.

"I also want as many people to testify who have seen her both as Nicole and Nicholas," she said. "I want people to know that Nikki is better off as a girl."

Amanda and Nicole both felt reassured by Nita Walker's words.

"Nikki, you want to know why I'm so passionate about this case?" she asked. "Because I want to make this world a better place for you to live as a woman."

She showed Amanda the motions she had drawn up in court. They were her answers to what the Lancasters were filing.

"I also drew up these two petitions I want you to take a look at," Ms. Walker told Amanda.

One was a petition asking for the judge to grant Amanda's adoption of Nikki. "I don't want this to ever come up again," Ms. Walker explained.

Amanda signed it quickly.

"I was wanting to do it anyway," she said. "I just didn't know how to do it. I didn't know when to do it."

Ms. Walker then passed another order over to Nicole to see first.

"Pass it to your mother as soon as you are done reading it," Ms. Walker said.

It was a motion asking the judge to formally change Nicole's name from Nicholas Taylor to Nicole Meggs.

Nicole fought back the tears and passed it on to Amanda.

"This is what you want?" she asked.

Nicole nodded her head yes.

"It's what I want to," Amanda said just before she signed the documents.

"I don't want either of you to worry," Ms. Walker said. "Nikki, you're going to stay right where you are. You're going to remain the girl that you are. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure of it."

Amanda embraced Nicole as they walked out of the attorney's office.

"Didn't I tell you this was all going to work out?" Amanda said.

*****

Nicole walked out of her bedroom in the dress suit Ms. Walker bought her. She looked, in Amanda's opinion, like a mini-lawyer in her coat, miniskirt, pantyhose and heels.

Nicole thought Amanda looked pretty professional herself as they prepared for what they hoped would be a happy day in court.

They greeted Ms. Walker on the courthouse steps.

"You look very nice, Nikki," Ms. Walker said. "You look like you could try this case yourself."

"Thanks to you, Nita," Nikki said.

"It was a very nice gift," Amanda said.

"One of these days, you may be a professional woman like me or your mom," Ms. Walker said. "I thought it would be nice for you to see how it feels."

She then asked Nicole and Amanda if they were nervous.

Both nodded their heads yes.

"Take a deep breath," Ms. Walker said. "It's going to be okay."

Nikki wasn't exactly looking forward to walking into the courtroom. Bruce, Madlyne and Shanna Lancaster were there with an intimidating attorney.

They talked about Nikki's life with them, how they caught "him" crossdressing, how they were patient with "him", but had to correct "him", that it was in "his" best interest to live the gender "he" was biologically.

They denied abusing Nikki. They dismissed Nikki's depression, unhappiness and low grades to being a boy going through the loss of his mother.

Their high-priced Boston attorney called psychologists who testified that what Amanda was doing was actually harming Nikki.

They put Amanda on the stand to explain what their private investigator had found out, that Nikki was living as a girl.

To their dismay, Amanda was very solid in her answers. She told the judge that she didn't encourage Nikki to become a girl. At times, she said, she did her best to discourage Nikki from becoming Nicole because she feared for her safety.

Then Ms. Walker took her turn presenting Amanda and Nicole's side of the case.

She got the Lancasters to admit they took drastic measures to get Nikki to stop dressing up in girls' clothes. They admitted they at times over did it with corporal punishment.

"You did this, yet you didn't even bother to have Nikki see a therapist?" Ms. Walker asked Madlyne Lancaster. "Don't you think it is in a child's best interest to find out what is going in their head?"

Madlyne Lancaster broke down. She even slipped up about the finances.

Ms. Walker put psychologists of her own on the stand who testified that living as a girl was in Nikki's best interest.

The most compelling was Andrea Dornan, who testified about the nightmares and the very real claims of abuse by Nicole. She also testified about the changes for the better since Nicole was allowed to live as a girl.

Three mothers, Sam's, Sara's and Meredith's, all testified about the positive changes they saw in Nicole's life.

None of Ms. Walker's witnesses were tripped up under cross-examination.

The final witness of the long afternoon was Nikki herself.

She was asked by attorneys for both sides about her life with the Lancasters and with Amanda.

She wept several times during her time on the stand. She had to relive some of her worst nightmares and biggest fears.

"Please, don't make me go back there to live with them!" she pleaded at one point to the judge.

Other than the Lancasters' cold stares, there was hardly a dry eye in the courtroom when Nicole was through.

Her testimony was compelling–it was real.

"This has been a long and very difficult day," Judge Williams said. "This is a different kind of case, but in my opinion, not nearly difficult as some would believe."

She said some custody cases required her to take several days, even weeks, before making a decision.

"But I researched as many cases on this issue as I could before this day began," she said. "It still comes down to who I feel is acting in Nicholas Taylor's best interest."

There was a silence in the courtroom.

"Ms. Meggs, there are courts who have disagreed with your methods in raising Nikki," she said. "Given what has come out today, I don't think any of them can question whether or not you are acting in Nikki's best interest. They would question yours,” she said, looking at the Lancasters.

"The petition requesting a change of custody has been denied," Judge Williams said. "Nikki will remain in the custody of Amanda Taylor Meggs."

Both Amanda and Nicole breathed a sigh of relief.

"Mr. Morton”–the Lancasters' attorney–“your clients are free to leave," she said. "Ms. Walker, I need your clients to remain here for a few more minutes."

Amanda gripped Nicole's hand as the Lancasters walked out of the courtroom.

"I hope that is the last we'll ever see of them," she whispered to Nicole.

"Me too," Nicole said.

As soon as the Lancasters had left the courtroom, the judge said there were two other motions that needed to be addressed.

"I felt it appropriate to have only you present, because this does not involve the other parties in this case," Judge Williams said. "Ms. Meggs, I am granting your motion of adoption."

Amanda hugged Nicole.

"It's official," she said. "You are my daughter. No one can take you away from me now!"

"Ms. Meggs, as Nicholas' parent, is it my understanding you want to change your child's name?"

"She does, your honor," Ms. Walker said as she presented the change of name motion.

"It is granted," she said. "You are now known as Nicole Taylor Meggs."

"Young lady," Judge Williams said. "I can't grant a change in the birth certificate at this time, I want you to understand that when you are of legal age, you can request it."

"Yes, ma'am," Nicole said.

"Good," Judge Williams said. "I never thought of you today as anything but a girl just by the way you conducted yourself today. If I am still the judge of this court, I'll make sure it will be granted when that time comes."