I just wanted to touch on this and see if anyone else has had a similar experience.
When I was in the 2 or 3 grade I was walking down the classroom isle towards the front of the class probably heading to my desk when a boy said to me you walk like a girl, that was the first time I heard someone saying that to me, well it stuck in my head even to this very day and a funny thing it really didn’t bother me or upset me it just made me aware that yes I’m walking like a girl, that was the first time I was kinda outed in public lol.
I guess we just pick up on habits sometimes we are just not aware of and then some we have learned or we've been taught them, I’m sure for me it was all three, early on mom of course new about my love for her lipsticks and her purses but not yet my sisters Mary Janes that was soon to change.
As my need to always show or express my inner feelings or thoughts at one time or another I just can’t help myself, while mom was tucking me in I just couldn’t keep it in any longer my mouth just started talking before my brain could stop it, mom I love sis’s little girl shoes, when you crack the door just a little open with mom she will have it wide open in the end and sure enough I told her everything.
Going into sis’s closet and touching them and playing with them, they where just a marvel of pure girlyness and so pretty I just couldn’t help myself and being the easiest of one of my deep down desires to play with, I told mom I would take them back to my room and try them on and when nobody was home I would walk around the house in those black patent beauties just looking down at them totally in love.
She intently listened to me with a smile, probably not to detour me from telling her everything, it worked because I told her everything even when sis was gone for a sleepover I would sneak into her room and take those beautiful little girl shoes bring them back to my room and wear them to bed until sometime in the middle of the night I would take them off because my feet would get too hot and uncomfortable again telling mom everything.
Mom being her usual mischievous fun way looked at me and said, I’ll be right back and left my room a minute later mom came walking back with those beautiful black patent Mary Janes saying you young lady will be wearing your little girl shoes to bed and sissy you will wear them all day tomorrow too and you better not take them off tonight or tomorrow missy or you’ll be wearing them to bed for a month and it won’t be as fun as you think, I was speechless just swimming in a pool of excitement and happy disbelief, I could only shake my head yes, having me sit on the edge of bed mom buckled me into those beautiful little girl shoes saying they fit pretty good, sissy your a very lucky little girl tucked me in saying sweet dreams with a little wink, wow.
To be continued…
