043) Excuse Me, Ma'am

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Okay, admission time, I've fiddled with my herbal concoction a bit since the last time I talked about it. I'm no longer taking any kind of phyto-estrogen at all. I've balanced and counterbalanced a purely anti-androgen formula and that's all I'm taking right now. Getting hold of strong enough doses of isoflavones was costing waaaay too much.

My current formula involves Chasteberry (pituitary, boosts progestins), Licorice (blocks the main male route to the androgens, also blocks cortisol and corticosterone/aldosterone...), Saw Palmetto (blocks dihydrotestosterone), and Tribulus for the anti-androgen and counterbalances, and no, I'm NOT going to share potencies, that shall remain my secret; first, the right potencies for me might not be right for someone else, second, I'm really not even 100% sure I'M using the right potencies. My formula is based purely on the "feel" of it... I don't have the ability to get my hormone levels checked properly.

In addition to all of these I'm taking a daily multi, potassium, calcium, and garlic, none of which should interact directly with the main formula, but the latter three help to... lessen... some side-effects. The multi is just because I know I don't get all the vitamins and minerals I should every day. Some days I do better than others...

Anyways, the design of it is basically to completely block my bodies production of dihydrotestosterone and spermatogenesis, which is a HUGE part of masculinization, then, further, block my bodies production of the other androgens completely through one route, leaving only one route open. This theoretically should bring my testosterone levels very close to female range.

I'm completely positive that DHT is, in fact, well and truly completely blocked, although I CAN bring myself to climax using some very creative methods, I no longer ejaculate, well, I sort of do, but it's a very thin fluid, and it's not as... forceful... there's definitely no sperm. I don't really know about the rest...

Interesting bit about Tribulus, and the reason I've added it, it has been reported anecdotally, though not enough real scientific experimentation has been done to confirm, that it boosts both testosterone AND estrogen, and does T more in men, but E more in women... It's theorized that what it's really doing that causes this reaction is to boost levels of luteinizing hormone. LH does a lot of very interesting things in the body, and I'm sort of curious just what effect it'll have on me with my androgens so thoroughly blocked... One of the things LH is supposed to do is increase energy levels, much needed to help combat the side-effects of licorice: pseudohyperaldosteronism is a bitch, trust me. And with my androgens so thoroughly blocked, I'm kinda hoping it might have the effect of increasing my own natural production of estrogens, even if only slightly.

Anecdotally, though I'm no longer taking any phytoestrogen component, my body shape changes seem to have, if anything, accelerated.

So yeah... the grand experiment continues... until I can find a way to afford medical and psychiatric care.

--SEPARATOR--

Something cool happened at work again today, a complete stranger looking for a specific apartment number stopped her car near me and called out "Excuse me, ma'am," and proceeded to ask me where the apartment number was. I had my music on, so I didn't hear her question at first, so when I went up to the car and turned my music off, if she changed her assessment after seeing me up closer I don't know. I muted it and had her repeat herself, and all she did was ask where the apartment was.

The other day at work the boss of the wrecking crew was all like "(name removed to protect identity) is upset because your tits are bigger than hers." I had a good giggle at that, though I doubt it was at all true, I have a strong suspicion that hers are 100% her, mine are being... enhanced... a little. Not really doing it to attract any sort of attention to them, well, usually, but I wear some thin pads in my bra to help protect my boobs from getting smashed against things at work... trust me, if you've never had the experience of having your boobs roughly meet a hard surface, or, even worse, a protrusion, it ain't fun. The pads are just enough to make it tolerable when it happens. Anyways, back to the story. I also strongly suspect that the individual mentioned doesn't really mind having small boobs, she's a butch, like, hardcore. Not QUITE to the trans-man point, but, well, lets just say that Extravagance and her would probably get on quite well (though she's definitely genetically female, she's bisexual and has kids) ;)

I THINK she was trying to make me self-conscious or upset or something, heh. Poor woman... too bad it had the exact OPPOSITE effect. It made me quite happy. :)

My coworkers and family and close associates outside of work still seem to think of me and treat me in male terms, but... well, at least people who have absolutely no preconceptions from my old shell I've cast away don't seem to. At least, not at first. It seems as soon as they notice the body hair though it goes right to "er, sorry sir," :( One of these days...

Comments

I don't know what my future has in store.

Wendy Jean's picture

But it would be interesting to try what you are doing. You may have noticed a new link off to the side, Laura's Chat. Her site is a lot like this one, a lot of TGs like us, in various stages. I've been hanging around there, they have convinced me I need to see a gender therapist. I have no idea if I can afford it or not, but maybe my insurance will pick up some of the tab, maybe not. Fact is, I can't go on like this. I am passively trying to kill myself.

Funny thing is, even if I never transition (a distinct possibility) I would never miss the body hair (not that I have much). Mostly it would be my facial hair.

I miss my hair on top, it is very thin indeed. I look like my Mom's grand dad, dang it.

Recommend any good books on herbal remedies? I've heard cinnamon and dark chocolate are both good for high blood pressure, or is that diabetes? Since I have both I wouldn't mind advice and pointers where to research.

I'm afraid I don't really believe in...

Or use books on the topic. All my research is done on my own, using good 'ol Google and winnowing the results by reputable sources for information. I'm after finding ALL the effects of various herbs, and concoct my own formulas from my findings, I don't believe in cure-alls.

Abigail Drew.

Hmm...

Extravagance's picture

Sounds like she'd make a good friend.
I prefer my women to transcend the concept of gender identity and sexual orientation entirely, and be ruthless, darkly commanding, and deeply passionate. ^_^

Catfolk Pride.PNG

Uh... well...

I don't think she quite fits those ideals... she's an interesting and cool person though, gets in trouble with her boss a LOT though for some reason. Another reason for the comment, I think. Their boss is very... difficult. Or at least tries to be. She jokes rough, plays dirty, but turns serious at the strangest things. I never really know how to behave when the boss of the wrecking crew is around. We can be joking with each other and having a grand 'ol time, and then suddenly I find myself crossing lines I didn't even know were there.

Abigail Drew.

The first time

The first time something like that happened to me I was paying for items with my credit cards. The cashier asked, "Is this your husband's credit card?" Welcome to this side of the fence.

Thanks shalimar.

Though that hasn't happened to me yet, by the time paying at a cashiers comes up, they've already seen my face up close enough and long enough for the unmistakable shadow to make me "sir".

I'm only a ma'am on the phone, when my back is turned to the one speaking, or from a distance.

Abigail Drew.