Broken Wings 101

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CHAPTER 101
Two days later, I got the call from Rosie, and of course it came while I was up to my eyeballs. Nita had rung, and for the first time in ages it hadn’t been a social call but a new referral. I was in the van with Faye, fourteen, yet another who had been pursued on the internet after trying to build a new profile for herself. I picked her up at Nita’s office, which saved a lot of crap, Rosie’s call arriving just as I parked up there.

“You free later? With that copper?”

“Should be. Just picking up a new girl. Can I call you back to confirm?”

“No worries, Sis. Don’t forget the goodies!”

Click, and gone, just like her walk across the rally field. Job to do; no time wasted. I made my way past the reception desk to Nita’s little room, and smiled at the terrified figure sitting in what I thought of as the ‘interview chair’. Nita waved me to the spare one, turning back to the girl. Hair not that far past her ears, a little plump, but the hoody was a ‘Hello Kitty’ rip-off, and her trainers were pink. Nita’s voice and tone were as light as I had come to expect.

“Faye, this is Debbie Wells. She runs a shelter for homeless girls. Debbie, Faye’s from Ebbw Vale”

We started the old, familiar dance, as Faye asked the usual terrified questions about being recognised as an imposter, right until Nita held a hand up.

“They are ALL girls, Faye, and all the same sort of girl as you are. That is what Debbie does for us, for them. Done it for years. Done it very successfully, as well. How many in university now, Deb?”

“Doesn’t matter, Nita. More concerned with those who are living their lives now. Two weddings last year, Faye, and several more living away now. I’ll be stopping by one on the way back. You can meet her if you like”

Nita’s eyebrows went up.

“Gemma or Kim?”

“Gemma”

Her face took on a very teasing expression.

“Ooh. Do you think you might, you know, do a loop round? Drop off a care package for the needy?”

“Oh, sod off, woman! Send a lackey of your own. Want me to leave an order with her?”

Nita looked up at the clock on her wall.

“Um… Yes. Could you ask her for four raspberry Danish, another four apricot ones and one of her lemon drizzle cakes? I’ll pop round at lunchtime. Want some cash?”

“Na. Knowing her, whatever she makes will sell, so no need for a deposit. Got Faye’s paperwork ready to go?”

A little while later, I walked the new resident to the van and settled her into the passenger seat, leaving the engine switched off.

“What happened, Faye?”

She looked down at her knees.

“You’ll think I’m stupid”

“Not at all. Trust me on that one”

“I always knew I wasn’t a boy. Sounds stupid, I know, but… I saw other people on the internet, and they were saying the same things, so I thought, if I can’t be me, then maybe I could pretend, just be me on the net, yeah?”

Innocently, in the true sense of that word, she had built a page for herself on a couple of social media sites, and as she settled into her dream, gathering likes and new friends, she had started to slip in her self-censorship. The rest of the story was like those of so many other girls, but the extra spice to Faye’s story was particularly nasty. She handed me a folded piece of paper.

“One of the posters they put up in school”

I had seen the image before, via another social media site, and it was a serious stomach-turner. Drawn in the colours of the Trans Pride flag, a long-haired figure in a dress, badly drawn stibble around a bright-red pair of lips, a rope around the neck and the caption ‘Join the 42%’ together with what I assumed was Faye’s old name.

“Dad heard about it because one of them put a note through our front door telling hm where to look on the internet”

Same old same old, yet again. She had more to tell, but I cut it short before she could get any deeper into the pit of her self-hatred, driving us straight round to Frank’s place. I parked up, looking across at her.

“Want to come and meet a couple of really wonderful people? One of them is my other half, but there’s also a girl like you”

Once again, she inspected her knees, before nodding, and I led her into the shop, Judy and Frank both nodding at me as I moved to one side of the seven or eight people queuing at the counter. As we waited, a series of questions came from the customers, almost all preceded by questions about whether Gemma ‘had been able to make/had any on the way/might be able to sort some…’. Faye listened intently, before turning to me and asking if Gemma was the girl I had been talking about.

“Yup. Want to say hello?”

The nod was tentative, but it was there, so I called across to my lover.

“Frank? Mind if we pop through for a word with herself?”

He nodded back, opening up the little gate at the end of the counter and stealing a quick hug and peck as we went through. Gemma was hard at her art when we entered the bakery, but she was able to spare us a grin.

“Hiya, Deb! New friend for us?”

“Indeed. Faye, Gemma. Gemma, Faye. What you up to tonight, love?”

“Loose end, really. Marty’s still recovering from New Year, it seems. You want dinner tonight?”

“That would be lovely, Gem. What are you thinking?”

She looked at Faye, grinning.

“Please tell me you are not a vegan or a veggie or anything like that!”

By the time I had collected the order for Rosie, placed the one for Nita to collect and confirmed our evening meal plans, Faye was in shock. Once we were back in the van, she turned to me with the first hint of a smile I had seen from her thus far.

“She’s really sorted, isn’t she?”

“She is. Feeling better now?”

She nodded, and I rang Kim.

“Hiya, love. Got a new girl on the way home, but I am really going to have to pop out for a bit. You busy?”

“Hang on. Ruth? You able to spare me for a few? Debbie has someone new to settle in”

Job done. I drove us back to the House, keeping up a little chat as we went, and Kim was waiting in the first sitting room when we arrived.

“Hiya, Deb. Gemma rang to tell me not to bring any food over tonight. Me and Phil are eating at his parents’ place, so not a problem. Hiya! I’m Kim; what do I call you?”

Smooth as silk, my Kim. I pulled out my mobile once more and texted Diane.

Need to talk. Someone wants see you. Call me. Deb.

She rang me around a minute and a half after I had sent the text, bright and breezy over the phone. I found myself wondering what state she had been in after spending Christmas lying in a damp tent, but she was too cheerful for me to wind up. Stick to the plot, Petrie.

“Hiya Deb, and happy new year etc. What’s up?”

“How busy are you today, girl? Can you get some time off? I don’t mean off work, I mean out of the office”

There was a thump as she obviously dumped her phone on a desk, and then she was back.

“Yeah. Can do”

“Call you back in ten, then”

I cut her off and dialled Rosie’s number. Whatever was going on, I needed a little elbow room. My sister picked up almost as Quickly as Diane had.

“Hiya. She hooked?”

I nodded, stupidly, then spoke.

“She’s free. What you want to do?”

“She’ll be driving. Can you get out to Ribena Hill? Let her drive. You need to go to…”

Rosie gave me her usual crystal-clear directions, and as soon as she had finished, she asked the important questions.

“Yes, I have the goodies, and I will sort a flask. Satisfied?”

Rosie just laughed, and hung up; I dialled Diane once more.

“Hi again, Deb”

“Can you pick me up in an hour, Di? By the café? Can’t tell you what for, but just you this time, OK?”

“I can that. You have me worried, love. One of the girls?”

“No, nothing like that. Look, I have a new resident to get settled. See you in an hour?”

“Yeah, OK”

I spent the next hour settling Faye into her room, while Kim prattled on. Maisie and Nicky arrived as we made the bed up with clean linen, and introduced themselves with grins and gusto, Maisie herself looking Faye up and down, tutting.

“Nana?”

“Yes love?”

“What are we doing for tea tonight?”

“Gemma’s coming over to cook. Kim’s off with her in-laws”

That brought a mock slap to my head, but there was a blush that went with it, and Maisie nodded in a determined way.

“Could we take some House money, then? Can’t see no luggage for this girl. I feeeel the neeeed to shop!”

Sammy’s words came back to me as I watched three of my girls simply pick up and carry the newest of them, and I nodded, before putting on my Stern Mother look.

“No pigging out, okay? Gemma’s cooking tonight, so it’ll be better than bloody burgers and frozen chip crap!”

I got a very knowing look from Kim, before Nicky looked Faye up and down.

“Not far off my height, are you? Want to have a look in my room and see if we can find you something else to wear?”

I was a happy Nana as I slipped out of the House to the Olive, getting into Di’s waiting car after setting my rucksack behind my seat. I got straight to the point.

“You know Rhiwbina Hill?”

“Ribena? Yup, berry well”

“Shit jokes, Di? Nothing to worry about. Girls are fine. I just have a favour or two to sort out. This one’s for you. Partly”

Di’s face tightened a little, and I remembered how concerned Rosie was, despite her attempts to disguise it with her usual terms for Diane. Get on with it, Petrie.

“Ribena Hill, then, into Fforest Fawr. I’ll direct you from there”

I was actually regretting letting the girls drag Faye straight out as we drove, but when I spotted the first landmark Rosie had described, I settled into work mode.

“Keep straight on, Di. I’ll tell you when”

Gloomy, grey road under a solid canopy of branches, and the wooden fence my sister had described took a while to appear. Count the passing places, and…

“Here. Doesn’t look like much, but there’s a bit of hard standing just behind that bush with the yellow leaves on it”

Di parked up, out of sight of the road, and turned to me.

“And?”

“We wait”

I heard the bikes first, and then Rosie and Elf pulled into our little space, side-stands down and walking towards the car with no hesitation whatsoever. I put a hand on Di’s forearm.

“Wildcat wanted a word. I think you should listen carefully and bloody politely”

Di simply pulled her arm away, not rudely, and stepped out from the car, settling herself into what was obviously a ‘ready’ pose, and I wondered what she was carrying under her jacket. She was clearly looking to take any initiative for herself, and as I left my own seat, she spoke first.

“Hello, Wildcat. Didn’t think there were women’s MCs”

“Shows how fucking much you know, copper. Us for one. Little Sisters in Kent. There’s a few out there, but a lot more posers. Fucking dykes on bikes, aye? What are you doing in fucking Merthyr?”

Oof. Initiative well and truly snatched back. I settled against the car to enjoy the jousting, my money firmly on my sister. Di tried, though.

“What do you mean Merthyr?”

“Fuck off, woman. Want me to list your car numbers?”

Rosie held out a hand without looking, and Elf passed her a bundle of papers. Di slumped slightly.

“Not telling you, woman. No can do. My own fucking class, yeah?”

For a second, my sister was there, pooh sticks and mischief in her eyes as she grinned, winking at me.

“I was right about this little piggy, then, Debs. She has got a pair, hasn’t she? And I don’t mean the ones hubby carries about for her. Got the stuff?”

So much joy in her, for the first time in ages. I laughed out loud, reaching into the car.

“In a rucksack, love. Got a mix”

“Aye, but the brown stuff?”

I knew what she was thinking, and it would be about cold hot chocolate.

“Give me a minute!”

I pulled out the two flasks, as Elf set out some camping stools she had carried in her panniers. Sit down, pour four mugs of chocolate, and after a few long moments of appreciation of the warmth, I brought out the pastries. Rosie chose one, a raspberry Danish, and smiled happily.

“You’ve done well with that girl, love. Real talent. Lad’s got no black marks so far, either. You found your place in the world, didn’t you?”

Where was this going? I caught a look from Rosie, and understood what she was about, and it was distancing herself from me, at least as far as Diane was concerned. Different worlds, different cultures. I went with her lead.

“Took me a while, though. You heard about Cooper?”

Rosie stared hard at Diane, and I saw Carl behind her eyes, There was so, so much I wanted to ask after her next words, but not in front of Diane.

“Oh yes. But absolutely not until afterwards, isn’t it, copper?”

Diane’s expression went through its own set of changes, then she raised both eyebrows and showed Rosie her teeth, as I realised that they were almost sisters in the way they thought. Di’s tone was bright, fresh and utterly false.

“If you want to discuss that rapist, I might just have to go and walk off some of these calories”

It was Elf who cracked just then, and all I could do was stare at her, along with the other two, until she had stopped laughing. Rosie sighed, turning back to Diane and adopting her own tone of absolute innocence and complete lack of guile.

“Listen and inwardly digest, copper. I am a girl, and I like girl things, including rainbows and kittens and unicorns, aye?”

Di’s jaw started to drop, but she caught it before it was too obvious, and Rosie continued.

“I like dogs. I REALLY like dogs. My Carling and me, we breed…”

I caught a tremor from Rosie’s hand, the chocolate dancing slightly in her mug.

“Pig and I, me now, we bred, breed wolfhounds. Got three at home, no fucking puppy farm. Proper licensed breeder and dealer, that’s me. Elf here, it’s bull terriers”

Elf sat up straighter.

“Not fucking chav Staffies, copper. Bull terriers. Best breed there is, even if the Prez here disagrees. Rockrose has a deerhound, then there are collies, all sorts”

Rosie nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, dead right. Apart from that bollocks about long-nosed bandy dwarf dogs. Anyway, as I said. I am a girl, and as a girl I love my fucking dogs, and the idea of watching one of mine while he rips another one to shitty giblets makes me unhappy. That is why you have been sitting around in Merthyr, DC Sutton. Isn’t it?”

Di’s mouth tightened for a second, then her head went back a touch.

“I couldn’t possibly comment”

“Ha! Take it from me, then: I do not fucking approve of dog-fighting. This is my turf, and it Does Not Fucking Happen Here”

Diane was still working hard at her self-control, but she made another effort to take the conversation her way.

“Then it’s not the cheap drinking dens, then? Not the competition with your own places?”

Rosie gave her the best flat look of dismissal I had ever seen, then started to laugh, looking over to me in clear delight.

“Fuck, love! I was right about this one, aye? Balls as well as class!”

Once again, Rosie did her little-innocent-me face.

“Told you, copper, didn’t I? Of course it’s also about the customers. I’m a girl, remember? We multitask! Now, I am not speaking to coppers, got me? But if, as a poor little girl of sensitivity and soppiness, I hear that someone may be about to mistreat some poor little puppies, I may just mention the date and place to a friend. In advance. Thanks for the cake, Deb, and the hot choc. Got to go now. Things to do, people to see, straights to outrage”

I just caught the snort of amusement from Elf as she executed what was clearly a pre-arranged ploy of grabbing the stool from under Di’s backside, and the two of them were off. Di sat in absolute silence as she drove me back, dropping me off at the Olive before leaving in an obvious hurry. I waved to Ruth and Kim through the window before setting off back to the House to await the return of my new girl.

My mind was replaying the conversation between Rosie and Di, and overlying it all I saw Sammy’s face, the worry and concern that sat there.

Dog fighting. Shit. No wonder they were all falling apart.

And what did Rosie know about Cooper’s death?

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Comments

dog fighting

nasty thing

DogSig.png

Wildcat

joannebarbarella's picture

You really have to read some of the other stories in the associated series to understand what's going on. It makes it hard for me to comment without giving away upcoming events. Suffice it to say that it's definitely worth sticking with this. You won't be disappointed.

time

Are we catching up to real time or has the 41/42% thing really been going that long

Both, I Think...

The 41% figure came from an extensive survey in the U.S. in 2011.

But we're around a year, I think, from the final events in Di's parallel story, Dancing to a New Beat, the last chapter of which posted in May 2019.

Eric

Final parts

We are indeed getting there, Eric. I have written the ending, and am working through the mechanics of plot. The whole book is running at well over 200K words, so it is a monster in size. I have looked at it several times, but unlike the obvious split at the end of 'Lifeline', I could see no obvious hiatus where a natural division could be made. I had worked out that I already had over 2M words on this site, so it is the biggest chunk so far.

I have an idea for a new project, spinning off this one in a peripheral way (as is my habit) but I shall get this one finished first. I have a slight delay due to the awful loss of one of the two people the book is dedicated to.

The "41%" figure has been around a long time, and it is odd how it chimes with 46, the average age in the UK for MtF transition when I came out all those years ago. There are two other smaller percentage figures, which relate to 'more than one attempt' and so on. I tick the second of those figures, so I am a pretty average trans woman. I suppose that the most important thing I can do in life is that same thing done by so many others: as long as I am visibly living a normal life as myself, others can see hope. "If SHE can do it..."

Those of you who have met me--and there are a few here--will understand!