by Roo
Prologue
It was back in nineteen fifty when my mother went into labour on a sheep station in outback Australia, where the only medical help was from the flying doctor service. The pilot had engine trouble and had to land a hundred miles away at another station, and by the time the doctor and nurse arrived by four wheel drive four hours later, my sister had died and I was to face life with half of my soul missing.
My twin sister was buried three days later on the property. She was named Jean, and I was named Carl. I had an older brother John, aged eight, and a sister Margarita, or Rita for short, aged six.
My Mum was a cook for the station homestead, and Dad was the leading hand that ran the sheep station.
Chapter 1
Eight years later.
We were still living on the station, but my brother John was sent to the nearest town and started to work for a builder. Rita was not interested in school so she started helping my mum in the kitchen cooking for all the workmen. There was no school within two hundred miles, so schooling was by School of the Air, which in those days was by two way radio with a teacher in the nearest town. It was too expensive to send me to boarding school, so I did about three hours of school work a day on the radio. The rest of the time I was looked after by my sister, which was when I started to feel my twin within me.
Rita was fourteen and developing into a pretty young woman. There were no other kids around, and my brother did not come home very often, so she only had me around to talk to and of course this is when she started to dress me in her old dresses and underwear. For some reason it felt right for me to be in girls clothes. My mum saw what was happening but only said not to let my dad see what we were doing.
There were lots of men’s working quarters that were empty a lot of the time, so it wasn’t hard to find somewhere to dress up without being seen by anyone. Every time I was dressed as a girl I seemed to have a strange feeling of my twin being inside my mind, and when I went to sleep at night I was always a girl. We eventually moved to a city, and as I got older the dressing did not stop, and I always had my sister’s support. My brother did not want to know me, and my dad left to live with another woman,
My mum decided to move away from the sheep station for a new life. I had just turned eight and Rita was now fourteen years old. While my mum Donna, and my sister Rita were tying down the tarpaulin with ropes covering all our meagre belongings on the back of a borrowed utility truck, I went back inside the worker's cottage, for one last check to make sure there was nothing left behind. While I was doing this it dawned on me that there was a stash of my sister's clothes in one of the rooms of the workers' quarters, down near the shearing sheds.
I told Mum and she said if I didn’t get my backside into gear, I could stay with the other sheep on the station , so I did as I was told and nearly tripped over my own feet since I’m pretty clumsy at the best of times. I got my bag of goodies that were hidden under a bed in the workers' rooms, and high-tailed it back to the others. Mum raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
We were all ready to go. The ute that Mum borrowed was an ex-army four wheel drive Landrover with a flat tray back and high wire meshed sides, so it took all our belongings with ease. The station owner loaned it to us for as long as we needed to use it. He was a nice man and I was going to miss his kind face. I settled in the back seat of the dual cab. I think the army uses them to carry men and equipment all at the same time. Mum started the noisy diesel engine, and we were on our way. Rita turned around and smiled at me and told me to wave goodbye to the station owner and his wife. I was sad and had tears in my eyes, but we were going to start a new life in a town so I would have more opportunity to attend a real school, and Mum and Rita could find jobs.
As Mum started driving she said “It's just as well we have a four wheel drive,” because it was at the end of the wet season, and the station is in the far south west of Queensland, so the track out to the main gate of the property was at least a one hour drive on wet ground. My mum had had plenty of practise doing this over the years, living on a remote place like River Downs, which is fifty thousand acres of grazing land with a river and smaller creeks running through it.
Mum asked me if I wanted to visit my twin sister's grave one last time before we left for good and of course I said “Yes”. It was only seven am, so there was time enough to detour a couple of miles to Jean's resting place. Mum and Rita said their goodbyes to Jean, and left me alone to be with my twin sister for a few minutes to say my last goodbye. I didn't realise then that it would be a while before I would get a chance to come back to visit her again, only next time I would be wearing something more feminine.
I sat beside her grave and told her that she would travel through life inside my body and see and do all the things we would have done if she had lived. I picked some wild flowers that were growing nearby and placed them on Jean's grave, tears streaming down my face. Then I made my way back to Mum and Rita who had both been crying too, so we all had red eyes.
Now we were ready to hit the road or in our case, a rough track. After half an hour of driving through this beautiful property, we reached the main gate and mail box which is an old forty four gallon drum with a lid on a hinge at one end, and the name of the station painted on one side of the drum, Now, this being nineteen fifty six, the roads out west were gravel,and a grader would come along every couple of months and push all the dirt back up to the middle to reform the road. In the wet season a lot of these roads were impassable for weeks at a time. Even today there are times when it still happens.
We left the property, which is two hundred miles west of a town called Quilpie, and started our long trip towards the the east of the state. The road was rough and dusty and there was nothing much to see except bush on both sides of the road. The radio was on, but there was no reception and it was hot and dusty. I asked Mum if we could pull off the road for ten minutes so we could have a drink of cold water from the water bag that hung on the front of the truck's bumper bar. Mum found a large gum tree to park under. We had been travelling for almost two hours, so we sat in the shade, had some sandwiches and got water from the canvas water bag.
This is when Mum looked at me and said “Carla, I know you and Rita have been playing dress up for a while now, and Rita has told me, how you feel like Jean is inside you when you are dressed like a girl.”
It was cool in the shade, but I could feel my face getting hotter after she called me Carla. Just then Rita came and grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye's and said “It's ok.” and gave me a hug.
Mum said we had better keep going, because we want to reach Quilpie before nightfall, so we got back in the ute and settled in for the next section of the hot and dusty road ahead. Some of the creek crossings still had quite a bit of water flowing over them, so Mum got out, and waded through the crossing to find the safest track through the water, because if we were to get stuck in the creek, we could be there until someone else came along, and 'out here' that could be hours or even days, so Mum was not going to take any risks.
There were three more of these crossings, but Mum was a safe outback driver and three hours later the township of Quilpie came into sight. It was just as well because after almost six hours on the road we were all getting very tired. Of course Rita was capable of driving. Even though she was only fourteen, kids were taught to drive at this age in the bush, but Mum insisted on driving all the way to be safe.
We pulled into an Ampol service station and filled up the fuel tank with diesel, and the man checked out the radiator for water and the oil level in the engine. Mum paid the man five pounds and three shillings for twenty gallons of diesel, and he asked Mum where we were headed, and if we were going to stay in town overnight? Mum said it was too late in the day to keep driving any further and asked the man where the best place would be to stay overnight. The man said his name was Bill, and that he owned the caravan park behind the garage, and we could stay in one of the cabins there if we wanted. Mum said she was Donna White and said we would be staying the night. The cabin cost two pounds a night, so Mum paid the bill and we drove into where our cabin was and opened the door with the key that Bill gave to Mum at the garage. We took the large suitcase which most of our travel clothes from the back of the ute and into the cabin.
Then something Mum said to Rita made my heart jump. She asked Rita to go and grab the bag of clothes that I got from the workers' rooms back at the station from the ute and bring it into her. Mum looked at me and she had a big smile on her face.
I said in a panic “What are you going to do with the bag of clothes Mum?”
She replied “Carl, don't you think we should have a talk about who “Carla” is? I have watched you and Rita for over a year now,and I think I might have a second daughter,and if that is what you truly want then I will be there for Carla.”
Rita came in with the bag of girls clothes
She said “Where do you want these Mum?” smiling at me while she said it.
“Put it on the bed that you and Carla are going to sleep on tonight, and open it up so we can look at what will fit my new daughter.”
She looked at me saying “This is what you want to do Carla isn't it?" I went and sat on the bed next to her and hugged her, and cried on her shoulder.
Rita came and sat next to me and stroked my hair which hadn't been cut for over six months, so it came down past my collar. Anyway I got my emotions under control, and I told Mum how I felt my twin sister Jean was inside me; how when Rita put me in girls clothes that the boy side of me just seemed to disappear.
Mum said “Ok. I’ll see what we can work out, but for now you will have to dress in girl's clothes inside only, or we could end up in trouble, Now lets see what is in your bag.”
There were three skirts and matching blouses, a couple of slips and six or seven panties all washed and folded, also ribbons and some bobby pins in a little draw bag. Rita had learnt to sew on an old treadle sewing machine, so she had made everything to fit me over the next few months. Mind you I looked like a stick insect in a skirt.
Half an hour later we went to the only restaurant in town to have a well earned meal. I had to stay in my boy's clothes for now. After we ate a meal of steak and eggs, which cost mum one pound and four shillings, we went back to our cabin and got ready for bed. I had to share a bed with Rita, as there were only two beds in the cabin, so she let me have one of her nighties to sleep in. Jean was inside me once again and I went to sleep next to my big sister in girl mode.
To be continued
The next morning,
Mum's little wind up travel clock woke us up with a start. It was one of her wedding presents, and I was always fascinated by how the little numbers would show up in the dark. The alarm was set for six am, and being the end of March the sun had already been up for an hour. There was no shower in the cabin, so we quickly got dressed, and walked past six other cabins and into the building that was used as toilets and laundry with showers at one end.
Mum had to send me back to the cabin to get some towels, which was my job in the first place. When I got back, Mum was already in the shower. Rita was sitting on a little bench between the shower cubicles shaking her head with a silly grin on her face.
“Took you long enough didn't it? You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on.”
Anyway, we had our showers and went back to our cabin, and Mum went out to the ute, and brought
in an Esky which was an ice box, with all the necessary food to make breakfast. There was an electric fry pan and an electric jug on a little bench beside a tiny fridge which was empty. Mum let Rita fry up eggs and bacon. There was no toaster in the cabin, so Mum cut some slices of bread and buttered them. There were no tea bags so Mum had to make the tea the old way in a tea pot and let it draw for ten minutes.
After we had breakfast and cleaned up all our gear, we were ready to hit the road again. It was still only seven thirty am, so if we got going we would make good progress on the road. Mum drove out to the service station driveway and got out of the ute to give Bill back the key to the cabin. After she thanked him and said goodbye, she started walking back towards us when she stopped and looked underneath the ute as if something was wrong. Bill saw what she was looking at and came over to look under the ute. When he stood up he looked at Mum and said in a dry voice
“Donna, you ain't goin' nowhere with that oil leakin' from ya gear box.”
Mum just stood there. I think she was about cry, when Bill turned to her said “She'll be right. It'll take a couple of days, but the old girl will be as good as new”.
Needless to say we weren’t going anywhere that day, so Bill went into his work shop and got a push trolley to take some of our suitcases, or 'ports'* as we used to call them, back to the same cabin we had stayed in last night. Once Mum organised what clothes we'd needed for the next few days the trolley was taken back to the cabin. Bill came with us to turn on the fridge and also brought a small gas stove for us to cook on.
Then Bill went back to his workshop to organise his mechanic to get started on repairing the Land-rover. He was back at the cabin ten minutes later to tell Mum he had radioed the owner of River Downs and got the o.k. to send the bill to him for the repairs that needed doing,
Mum looked at Bill with surprised look on her face, and said “I am not broke and can pay my way”
Bill looked at her with hurt expression on his face and said, “It's done, so please don't worry about it”.
While Bill was talking with Tom Granger the station owner, he asked all about us, as it worked out he knew my dad James and brother John. I think Bill had wanted to 'befriend' Mum, as he had lost his wife to cancer two years earlier and had taken a shine to Mum. After all she was only thirty eight years old and quite good looking with a nice figure.
Mum never got a divorce, probably hoping she and Dad would get together again but both John and Dad had not been around for quite a while. Tom Granger must have told Bill about me and Rita, because he looked at Mum and said “Tom told me about Carl and Rita and not to worry if I see him in girl's clothes.”
Mum had a worried frown and looked at Bill who had sat down on a chair that he grabbed from from another cabin, and she asked him if he was o.k. with my cross-dressing. He said that his only son committed suicide because he was homosexual, (the word gay was not used back then), and he was sorry that he wasn't there for him when he needed his love and support the most.
Bill looked at me and said if I want to dress up while we were staying here it was o.k. with him. I thought 'all my Christmases had come at once' and couldn't speak, Rita put her arm around me and hugged me with tears in her eyes. Mum asked Bill to step outside for minute to talk to him without us kids listening to what was being said. I thought that was a bit mean, but Rita just said “It looks like I get to have a little sister”, at least while we are here anyway.
Rita was sitting next to me on the bed being quiet to see if we could overhear anything that they were saying. when they walked back in and sat down on the other bed. Mum looked at Bill and gave him a nod. He turned to me and my sister and said he and Donna had a few things in common. I sat on the edge of the bed and was getting nervous about what he was about to say. Rita looked at Mum with a questioning look, but Mum just said she would let Bill do the talking. Mum came and sat in between me and Rita and put her arms around our shoulders.
Bill said “Donna, um, your mum an' me got to thinkin' that we got somethin' in common, and I reckon if you want to hang about here for a bit, it would help me out with opening up the restaurant again.”
Bill had closed it down when his wife Ann died. It didn't take long for me and Rita to nod our heads Quilpie wasn't a big town but it is on the banks of the Bulloo River and we could go swimming in its cool water any time it wasn't in flood. Mum told Bill she would fill us in about what she had decided to do. Bill said “See ya later kids” and went back to his workshop, probably to check up on our Land-rover.
Rita and I sat on the bed with Mum sitting opposite on the other bed facing us as she explained what she had decided to do for the time being. As she hadn’t made any real plans as to which town we were going to settle down in we might as well stay in Quilpie for a few months.
Mum looked at us and said “What do you girls think?”
I had that hot face again. “Um Mum, you called us girls, not kids as you usually do.”
Mum said if she was going to have two daughters there were two girls sitting on the bed in front of her. My face still hot, I jumped up onto her lap and felt something inside me tingle. It was a strange sensation, as if there was two of us hugging mum , but Rita was still sitting on the other bed. Mum felt me tremble and said I had goose bumps all over my arms.
Rita just said “Jean has come with us and I will just have to put up with her being part of my life. Her body might be buried back at River Downs but her soul and spirit is well and truly inside of Carla.”
The three of us stayed in the cabin for three more days. Then Bill Croft moved us to his huge homestead type home just outside of town. It was still within walking distance of his garage and cabins so it meant nothing to us, as distance is irrelevant to people that lived in Western Queensland.
Mum had accepted Bill's offer to reopen the restaurant connected to the garage which had been closed since his wife Ann died two years ago. We were going to share his house which was an original homestead of the property that the town was built around in the late eighteen hundreds. There were six bedrooms and they all had doors opening out to the verandas that surrounded the house. Bill slept in a small room next to the kitchen and his home office. I guess he didn't like having to do too much housework. Mum took the bedroom next to the main one which still had all of Ann's things in it, I don't think Bill had the heart to throw anything of his late wife's things out. Rita and I decided to share a bedroom. They were very large rooms and we brought one of the other beds from the next room into ours. I was not going to go to any school until we settle in to the local community, so Mum was going to home school me for the rest of that year.
Rita was going to work in the restaurant with Mum. Legally she could work at fourteen, so she could now do an apprenticeship as a chef since Mum was a qualified chef and needed a hand to run the restaurant. I was only eight and had to do the school work that mum set out for me each morning, which I could usually get done in about four hours. I was quite used to doing school work by myself as I had done it by two way radio with School of Air for the last three years. I had already started fourth grade at the station and was a fairly good student so it wasn't a big deal for Mum to do the teaching.
This brings me to the best part of my life so far, seeing no one really knew us in this town apart from Bill, his mechanic and the dentist that I had to come into town to see twelve months ago. I was allowed to go in girl mode and see how things work out. The first chance I got, Mum gave Rita a five pound note and said to go to St Vincent de Paul's charity shop, which is a Catholic organisation to help out poorer people in the community.
Five pound would buy me everything I need including two pairs of girl shoes.
Rita said, “Carla how lucky can you get girl?”
“Um I think Jean is making things happen. I get tingly, feelings every time I touch any girl clothes.”
Rita was looking at my arms which had goose bumps all over them again, so it looked like I was taking my twin sister shopping with me. By the time Rita had looked through all of the clothes racks for eight year old girls, I finished up with a half decent wardrobe including Mary Jane type shoes. Most of the things we bought were like new, so all we had to do was wash and iron them. We put all our purchases on the counter by the till, I was dressed in Rita's hand me downs, so I well and truly looked like a girl with her older sister doing what girls do .
The volunteer lady that was looking after the shop for the day came out of a sorting room to serve us. When she saw the amount of clothes we were buying she looked at me and said. “You poor girl why is a pretty young girl like you dressed in rags?”
“Um we lost most of our things in a flooded creek when Mum got stuck in deep water” I lied.
Rita said “That's right, so we will come back in a couple of days and buy some for me and Mum.”
We tried to pay the lady for the stuff we got but she wouldn’t hear of it, so we thanked her and said we would be back later.
When we got home Mum was in Bill's office talking on the phone, ordering things for the restaurant.
When she saw us come in she finished the call and turned to us and looked at pile of clothes that Rita had put on a chair in the office.
“My God how much did you spend? I only gave you a fiver. There is at least ten quid's worth in that lot” she said.
When I told her what the lady said to me, and that I had lied about what was supposed to have happened to our clothes, mum frowned first at Rita and then at me.
“Rita and Carla, I have told you never tell lies to anyone. It will come back and bite you both on the bum.”
She said she would go and see the the lady tomorrow and pay for the things we had brought home. By this time I was sobbing and Rita said that I was embarrassed when the lady called me a poor little girl dressed in rags. Mum came and hugged me till I calmed down.
After we had our evening meal, Rita and I went to bed early to read for a while and she cuddled me
until I went to sleep and dreamed of my twin sister Jean.
To be continued.
* port (short for portmanteau) was the word used for a suitcase, but only in northern parts of Australia.
I woke up to the sound of white cockatoos screeching their good morning message to us.
It was only five am but with these beautiful birds perched in a large red gum tree just outside our bedroom window, there was no need for alarm clocks.
Rita turned over and pulled the blankets back over her head, “Shit! Somebody should shoot those bloody birds. Don't they know it's Saturday and sleep-in time?”
If I didn't have to go to the bathroom to pee, I would have stayed in bed snuggling up to my older sibling but I don't think she would appreciate a wet bed.
I decided to stay up and have a shower which was in separate room to the toilet. At least the toilet was inside the house and was hooked up to a septic tank in the back yard. The old toilet, called a ''dunny” a little outhouse in the yard was now used for storing gardening tools. Anyway me being me, I clean forgot to take any clothes with me and had to wrap a towel around me to get back to the bedroom. Of course I wrapped it around my chest like I saw Rita do it, I was after all a girl in training, and I didn't want to mess up if this was going to work, or I could be in real trouble if some red-neck boy discovered my little secret.
On my way back, I had to go passed mum's room and tried to tippy-toe past her door down the hallway, when the door opened and mum was talking to someone back in her room. She hadn't seen me right away, and she stopped half-way out of the door and gasped as she saw me standing there like a scared little girl wrapped in a bath towel, “What are you doing up so early Carla?”
I said “Um the cockies woke me up and I had to pee.” I asked her who she was talking to, and before she could answer Bill was standing behind her looking very sheepish with a red face.
“Sweetheart, why are you running around just wrapped in a towel?”
I said “I had a shower and forgot to take any clean clothes with me Mum.”
She was avoiding telling me why Bill was in her bedroom, but I knew all about the birds and the bees because there were lots of books kept at River Downs, and some of them were medical books, probable because Tom Granger's wife was a nurse before she married him. Had she been home at the time of my birth, my late twin sister Jean might be here with me today.
“Bill just brought me in a cup of tea seeing he was up.” she said. But Bill was standing behind mum and I could see he was only wearing a pair of undies.
“You better go and get dressed and get your sister up to get you some breakfast young lady.”
When she said that, I knew that if I didn't go mum would be cross with me.
I hurried back to Rita who was already up, and about to go and have a shower.
When I said “Better not go past Mum's bedroom for five minutes.” she said “Why not? I have to pee now.” So she opened the door and almost ran to the toilet right past Bill going back to his room in his undies. Mum was standing at her door with a silly look on her face.
I thought I’d better get dressed or I'll be in trouble, so I went through my new second-hand clothes, and selected a denim skirt and sleeveless white blouse with flowers printed around the breast area, I was brushing my hair out to try and get it to dry a little quicker when Rita walked back in to the room, she was still in her nightie and hadn't had a shower.
Rita asked, “What was Bill doing in mum's bedroom in his underpants”?
“I told you to wait five minutes before you barged out the door didn't I? Mum told me Bill brought her in a cup of tea. Yeah right, likely bloody story, in his underdaks?* Anyway it's Mum's business if she wants to be friendly with Bill, I really like him” I said.
Rita said that at least he's around, not like our dad the arsehole.
“You better not let Mum hear you talking like that” I said.
“Yeah, well it makes me so mad that Dad left like that. Anyway it looks like we might have scored a new one.”
Then Rita grabbed her clothes and went to have her shower, so it looked like I would have to get my own breakfast or wait for Mum to come out of her room. I went to the kitchen and got myself some Vitabrits* and some fresh milk from the fridge .
Mum walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. It was a slow combustion one that had to be kept alight all the time. It used coking coal not wood, and if you wanted it to get hotter you had to put more coke in the fireplace, and pull a lever on the side to let more air into the fire box. Anyway, Mum sat down beside me at the table and said she wanted to tell me about what I saw earlier on outside her bedroom.
“Carla, me and Bill have been very lonely for long enough, and have decided to be more than just friends.” Then she explained how Bill and her had so many things in common that it made sense to take the relationship a bit further. Rita was standing behind me by this time so she heard what Mum had said. Rita asked Mum if she loved Bill. Mum said she probably would in time because Bill was a real nice man and treated her with respect which is more than our father did. Just then Bill walked in, all dressed in slacks and blue shirt with his name sewn on to one of the pockets. He had had his shower in the the one next to the outside laundry.
“Good morning ladies. Um — has Donna -- um your mum explained about this morning? We both nodded our heads in unison. I kept quiet, but Rita said she liked Bill but didn't want Mum to get hurt again. Bill said there was no way he would hurt any lady and he had a hurt look on his face. That's when I went over and hugged him, and looked into his clear blue eyes and said “Now that you and Mum are together can I call you Dad or Uncle Bill?”
Before he could answer me, Mum said I should call him Uncle for now, because it would be hard to explain to people that knew Bill, where two girls came from out of nowhere wouldn’t it?
After Mum had her shower and breakfast, we got into Uncle Bill's FJ Holden* sedan, and he drove the couple of miles to his garage to see how the repairs to mum's Land-rover were going. It was parked outside of the garage and looked all clean. While Rita and I stayed in the car, Mum and Bill went to talk to Henry the mechanic who said it was all set to go, so Mum collected the key from the office and came back to the car with Uncle Bill and we went into the town shopping centre. There were no shopping malls in those days, just joined shops on either side of the road.
Rita and I wanted to go for a swim in the river, but we'd never had swimsuits because back at River Downs we swam in the nude. Out there it didn't matter because the dams we swam in were half a mile away from anywhere. So while Bill did some grocery shopping, Mum and her two daughters hit the small town's clothes shops. I felt myself getting all tingly again as we started looking through the shelves for some swimsuits for all three of us. The lady that we met at the charity shop the the other day, owned the shop we were in, and she looked surprised when she saw myself and Rita with mum in her shop. I think she thought we were out of towners, and were too broke to buy anything in her shop.
I turned to Mum and said “Mum this is the nice lady that wouldn't take any money for the clothes that that we got from her the other day.”
Mum said “G'day. I'm Donna White and these are my two daughters Rita and Carla. We've come to buy some swimsuits so we can go for a swim in the river after lunch.
The lady said “Hello I’m Mary Winton. I own this shop,and I volunteer at the charity shop one day a week.”
Mum said “How much did it cost the other day when my girls bought all those skirts and things, because I will not take charity away from someone that really needs it”? I was feeling guilty now for not telling the truth about why we were buying all those clothes , Mary was taken aback with mum's abruptness, and said she felt sorry for me and thought she was doing the right thing by not charging us for the clothes. Mum said that she must have misunderstood me and gave Mary a ten pound note for the charity shop.
Mary said “I'm sorry I misunderstood your daughter Donna. I'm a bit of a softy where kids are concerned.”
Mum said “That's o.k. Mary. We'll just go over to where the swimming gear is and see what we can find for the three of us. ” Mary then said if we needed any assistance to just sing out.
Country towns didn't have a lot of range in swimsuits,but the ones they did stock were mainly ones that were worn by teachers and school kids going to school swimming carnivals, so they were not high fashion items. Mum picked out our size and told me and Rita to go into one of the fitting rooms and whispered to me, “Make sure you tuck you know what between your legs and get Rita to check before you come out to show me o.k?”
Rita stripped off naked and told me to do the same. Being naked together didn't bother either of us because there were no secrets between us and besides I was supposed to be a girl now. Rita was well on the way to becoming a woman. Her breasts would have been a C cup and now that we were going to be living in town she would have to get used to wearing a bra. She was already getting lusty looks from the boys we passed going into Mary's shop.
I was eight going on nine and as I’ve said before I looked like a stick insect, but 'puberty hadn't started thank God' I thought to myself as I pulled the one piece swimsuit up my skinny body, making sure my little piece of skin was tucked away. It was so small that I looked the same as Rita down there.
Rita said “My God Carla it's not going to be to hard to make you look like my sister. I can't see anything showing down there at all.”
Mum said “Come on girls I want to see what you both look like.” We opened the door and Mum had her swimsuit on and Mary was standing beside her. I was a bit reluctant to come out at first, then Mary said “Well young ladies, don't you look good?” Mum had damp eyes when she looked me in the eyes, but because Mary was there she bit her tongue. Mum was wearing the same type swimsuit as us, only if Bill saw her now he would start to stutter which he did when he got excited.
So Mum told us to change back into our clothes, and we would go and find Bill and have some lunch down by the river. I walked back into the cubicle with Rita and stripped off to change back into my skirt and blouse and the frilly panties that Rita gave me for my last birthday. We just wore thongs5 on our feet, We were both standing there naked when I started to feel all trembly and had that feeling I get when my my late twin sister Jean, seems to want to communicate with me.
Rita saw it happening and said “Close your eyes and listen in your head to what Jean is trying to say to you Carla.”
All I could hear was a tiny voice saying 'I love you' over and over till I opened my eyes and then it stopped. By this time mum and Rita were holding me in a hug. I was still a little shaky so Mum helped me to get dressed while Rita did too. Mum paid for our purchases at the counter where Mary was standing and said we would be back in or week or so to replenish our wardrobe. We left to find Uncle Bill down the other end off town where we found him next to his car talking to an older man, and he said “Barry, this is my adopted family Donna, Rita, and last but not least Carla”.
“Very nice to meet you all. Bill has had no-one to look after him for a couple of years now. It's nice to see him smile again.”
We said goodbye to Barry and got in the car, and Mum said we had better take the groceries back to the homestead before the butter melted and the meat didn't need cooking, so we went home and put everything away. Then Mum made a picnic lunch to eat down by the river. She told me and Rita to put our swimsuits on and our clothes back on over them so we wouldn't have to change down by the river where we were going to go for a swim. Lunch was packed in an ice box, and towels slung over our shoulders. Uncle Bill walked out to the car in a pair of cut off old jeans which was what he swam in and an old khaki shirt and thongs* on his feet.
We arrived at the picnic area and there were already quite a lot of people there, having their lunch, sitting on blankets on the freshly mowed grass. Mum need not have worried about us changing at the swimming area ,because there were changing sheds at the swimming area, so the three of us went and took off our clothes in the sheds. I was glad that I didn't have to strip because there were three other girls in there in varies stages of undress, so I was a little bit shy and kept close to Mum and Rita. we walked back to the car and put the clothes in the boot*. Bill was sitting on the blanket getting the food ready to eat when he saw Mum in her swimsuit and as I said before when he gets excited he stutters.
He said “M my G God um Donna wha what are yo you tryin' t t to d d do to m me?”
Mum said grinning “Bill get used to it. You have three ladies living in your house now, so you're going to see a lot more than this!”
We did go go swimming after lunch, and yes there were boys around, but I will tell you about that in the next chapter.
* underdaks Aussie slang for underpants. DAKS is a menswear and womens-wear company.
* Vita Brits, a breakfast cereal.
* FJ Holden, an early Aussie built car by General Motors Australia.
* Thongs Aussie for flip flops.
* Boot Aussie for the car trunk.
To be continued.
While Mum and Uncle Bill relaxed sitting on the blanket eating a piece of fruit, Rita and I raced each other down to the river bank. The water was still a little bit dirty from the last fresh flow that came from up-stream after it had rained in the mountain range fifty miles away. Rita jumped in first, and then it was my turn. Because I am a bit of a tangle-foot, I slipped on the muddy bank and did a complete somersault and landed on my back in the mud.
I lay there winded for a couple of minutes gasping for breath, when a boy came out of the water and grabbed me by both hands, and pulled me up in a sitting position.
He said “Are you alright little girl”
I said “Yeah just winded. I’ll be ok in a minute.”
Just then Rita scrambled up the bank and almost slipped back into the water, The boy grabbed Rita's hand and pulled her up to dry land, and said “Shit, don't you two know how to stay upright?”
“And who are you when you're at home?” she said.
“Arrr yeah well-- Peter, I’m Peter.”he said as he was looking more at Rita's perfect body than her face.
Rita said “Thanks for helping my little sister. I was too far from the bank to help her.”
“Aww, woulda done it for anyone.” he said.
As this was all taking place, Mum and Bill had seen what happened and quickly came down to the river bank to see if everything was alright and that I wasn't hurt.
Mum said “Carla you know you shouldn't run around on slippery river banks. You're going to break your bloody neck one day.”
I rolled my eyes and said “Yes Mum, sorry!”
Bill looked over to Peter and said “G'day Pete. You always seem to be around to help out don't ya lad?”
Peter looked at Mum with a red face, probably because she caught him looking at Rita's nipples showing through the wet material on her swimsuit, Just than another boy turned up and stood next to Peter. He was about my age, and he sort of looked me up and down as if to say 'another dumb girl.'
I said to the boy “G'day I’m Carla what’s your name?”
He looked at Peter and back at me and said “I’m Rick and he's my brother Pete.”
Uncle Bill was grinning at Mum and said “I don't think we are needed here do you Donna?” With that they went back to the car and got a couple of deck chairs out of the boot of the car, which Bill had shifted under a large gum tree to catch some shade.
So Rita, myself, Pete, and Rick all decide to safely get in the water without slipping this time, Pete was holding Rita's hand as we entered the water, she didn't seem to stop him which surprised me a bit because Mum told her earlier, not to flirt with boys she didn't know.
Rick was standing beside me in waist deep water and said “Carla see that drum out there?”
“Where?” I said
“About fifty yards out in the river see it?”
“Oh yeah there it is.” I said.
He said “Can you swim out that far, or is the little girl too scared to go into deep water?”
“'Little girl' You're no bigger than me.” I said.
Rick didn't realise how good 'little girl' sounded to me. While this exchange was taking place, Pete and Rita were also waiting for us to get into deeper water, to swim out to where the drum was anchored to the bottom of the river.
I said to Rick “I'll bet you two bob I can beat you out there, you look like a wimp to me.”
“Right you're on!”he said. Rita and Pete watched as we set of, and followed close behind. Both Rita and I were really good swimmers. I might be a tangle-foot on land, but in water I am a fish. Rita is the same. We were taught early because in the outback the swimming holes in the creeks are nowhere near any buildings. Most sheds and houses are on higher ground away from any danger of being inundated by flood water in the wet season, which can last up to two months at a time.
In the dry season the creeks would still run a little bit but we would swim in the deep water holes washed out by the erosion off the flood waters, If we got into any trouble swimming we were on our own , so we learned not to fool around too much and stayed safe.
Anyway back to now, I was at the drum well before the rest of them, hanging onto the handles that were on the side of the drum, because out here the water was about twenty foot deep and there was always a current running in the deeper water. You had to hang on or you would end up miles down stream. Rita and Pete were right behind me, but Rick was still four or five yards out when it looked like he was struggling,
“Cramp” he yelled “Hang on.”
I yelled back and quickly swam out to help him before he disappeared under the surface.
I reached him in no time flat, turned him around in the rescue position and started hauling him back to the drum. We had now drifted about ten yards down stream and it was hard going..
Rick said “My leg is cramped up too much to swim.” in between gasps of breath.
I said “Just hang on I'll get us back to the drum.” It took a little while. Swimming against the current was wearing me out as well, and Rita and Pete were just about to give me a hand, but I made it back to the drum and got Rick to hang on to one of the handles on the side of the drum.
While I recovered and and got my breath back, Rita and Pete went to work on Rick's leg and rubbed some feeling back into it.
He said in-between the pain “Holy shit! I could have drowned if Carla hadn’t got me.”
I said “Do the same for anyone. Can't let my friend drown can I? Might need the same sometime.”
He said “Owe you one, girl.”
While we were all hanging off the drum trying to get enough strength to swim back to the bank, I started to feel those familiar trembles I get when my late twin seems to want to communicate with me. Rita saw what was happening and came closer so I wouldn't lose my grip on the handle, because I seemed to lose my coordination whenever that happened to me.
She said “Close your eyes. I’ll make sure you're safe.”
All I heard in my head as clear as a bell was a tiny vice saying 'I am always with you Carla. I love you' and then she faded away. I opened my eyes and Rita was holding on to me, and then the trembling stopped .
Pete and Rick were looking at me and asked if I was o.k. I said “Yeah. Lets get back to the bank.”
We swam beside Rick to make sure he didn't cramp up again. It didn't take too long and we were all helped out on to the grass away from the muddy bank by Mum and Uncle Bill who watched it all happen.
Bill said “Bloody hell kids, another couple of minutes and I was going in to rescue the the bloody lot of yer's!”
Then he said “There's still too much run in the river to be swimming out that far. Coulda drowned the bloody lot o' ya's.”
Mum gave me a hug as she said “Carla you realise you saved Ricks life don't you sweetheart?”
I whispered to her so the others couldn't hear and said “Mum it was Jean, not me that did the saving.”
She whispered back to me “Darling we'll talk about that when we get home ok?”
“Year Mum. I need to ask you something about how I feel when Jean talks to me in my head”.
We all walked back to where the car was parked. Mum told Rita and me to grab our towels and Bill was telling the boys to do the same and come back to our car, and he would drop them off at their house on the way home. When Rita and I came back to the car everything was packed up and put in the boot, and Mum and Bill were talking about what we would do on the way home, something about picking up Mum's Land-rover at the garage.
Pete and Rick were standing next to the car with their arms folded across their chests, with a bored look on their faces. Pete couldn't take his eyes off Rita.
Rick said with a cheeky grin on his face “They look nice when they got clothes on don't they Pete?” which earned Rick a slap on the back of the head.
“Ow! What was that for?” said Rick
“Behave yourself in front of ladies and you won't get slapped o.k.?”
“Yer, sorreeey!”Rick said rubbing the back of his head.
We all piled into the car. I sat in the front between Mum and Bill, and Rita sat on one side with Pete in the middle. I think Rick was sulking just a bit. Mum pulled down the sun visor that had a mirror on the back off it, and she kept an eye on what was going on between Rita and Pete, not that they would do anything with Rick sitting next to them. Anyway we reached Pete's and Rick's house and it was next to the state school with the same chain-wire fence as the school had which meant it was government property, in other words it belonged to the school. When Bill pulled into the driveway, Barry, the man he was talking to earlier came out to the gate, and said “G'day Bill. How come you are bringing my boys home?
"They were down the river and swimming with Donna's girls." Bill said "I was about to get in the car and we were coming past this way so I thought I'd give then a lift home."
Barry said “Thanks Bill. They weren’t in any trouble were they?”
“No not really, but you better put some liniment onto young Ricky's leg. He's had a cramp in it.” Bill said.
Barry and the boys waved goodbye to us as they walked inside with their dad. Rick was walking with a bit of a limp. As Bill started driving I asked, “Uncle Bill, is Barry the school principal?”
“Yeah and if you go to school here in Quilpie, you will have to call him Mister Smith, or sir.”
I replied “He seems to be a nice man, and has a couple of nice sons too.”
Rita who was on her own in the back seat had a dreamy look in her eyes said “I like Peter he's got real strong arms and has brown eyes.” It was hard for Mum and Bill not to let Rita notice them shaking with muffled laughter.
It wasn't long and we were pulling up at Uncle Bill's garage to pick up Mum's loaned Land-rover, Mum already had the keys with her and she went straight to to the Rover unlocked it and got in. Bill waited till he heard the diesel motor start up and headed home with Mum following close behind, Bill turned to me and said, “Carla how are you feeling now that you are allowed to dress as girl all the time”
I said “Uncle Bill it just feels more normal for me to dress as a girl than be in boy's clothes.”
“Yeah I thought that you looked a lot happier than when I first saw you.” he said.
Rita was listening to what was being said in the front.
After she stopped dreaming of Pete, she said “Uncle Bill, Carla might have a little willy down there but she is as much of a girl as me.”
I think Bill was a little embarrassed at the way Rita just said it without thinking about it.
Bill replied “Rita you are just like your mother, a straight shooter. No beating around the bush. That's what I like about Donna -- err your mother -- and her pretty blue eyes”
Rita had the same blue eyes as Mum with honey blond thick hair halfway down their backs. I had big brown eyes and light blond hair the same as my Dad and brother John.
Bill pulled into the big machinery shed beside the house, and waited for Mum to pull in beside his car. Mum got out of the Rover and said “Gee it's good to have the old girl back. It'll give me a bit of independence.”
Bill said “Hey I could have lent you one of my other cars you know Donna.” with a mock hurt tone in his voice. Mum came over to Bill who was still sitting in his car and poked her head in the window and gave Bill a long slow kiss on the lips.
Rita and I were already out of the car, so we both made a wolf whistle and started to run into the house giggling like a couple of idiots, when we heard Mum say ”Hoy get back here you two, and help bring the stuff in from the car, or I won't feed you tonight. ”
We went back and said “Yes Mum, sorry.” but couldn't stop giggling. That started Bill off as well so Mum just shook her head saying 'heaven help me I love you lot, but your going to drive me to distraction,' while she was looking at Bill with a smile.
Later that day when everything was put away and we'd had tea, (that is what our evening meal was called back than), it was only seven pm but it had been quite a hot day and it was still too early to go to bed, so we went out onto the verandah which surrounded the house. There were plenty of mosquitoes about in summer, but the verandahs were all enclosed with fly screens so we could sit in the cool breeze lightly blowing through the screens making a slight whining noise.
The night sky in the west is so clear that it seems you could reach up and almost touch the stars they seem so close. So while the others stayed on the verandah, I rubbed some citronella on my arms and legs to stop the mossies from biting, and sat outside on an old swing that hung off the branch of the big old gum beside the house. It wasn't long before Mum came out and joined me. She moved an old garden chair next to the swing and said “Alright sweetheart, let's have this talk you wanted.”
She sat down in the big old canvas squatters chair and said “Carla sweetheart, come over here and sit on my lap and tell your Mum what's troubling you.”
I went to her and sat gently down on her lap, but it didn't worry her because I was a skinny little thing and didn't weigh much more than a five year old. She cuddled me and I got a lump in my throat and couldn't help gently crying into her shoulder.
Mum just held me till I stopped crying and said “Does that feel better now?”
By this time I had one of those hiccups after you stop crying and I said “Mum, I a-am so-sorr-yy I ca- n-t go ba-ack to be-eing a bo-y.”
Mum replied “Oh sweetheart I told you I will be there for you and I will be.”
She than went on to tell me how she had spoken to Bill about how they will sort things out in the future. I than asked her about why Jean kept talking to me in my head and what happened at the river earlier today.
She said “Carla you are an identical twin. Had Jean lived, the two of you would have been finishing each other's sentences by now.”
We sat there for a bit longer just staring up at the beautiful outback sky and than made our way into the house. Bill and Rita had made a cup of tea and were sitting at the kitchen table talking about what was happening to the progress on the restaurant, when Mum went and sat next to Bill and poured herself a cup of tea from the pot which had a tea cosy on it to keep it hot for longer, I went to the fridge and got myself a glass of milk from the billy-can it was kept in.
Ten minutes later Rita and I went to the bathroom, cleaned our teeth, put on our nighties and crawled into bed. Rita said “Night Sis.” I replied “Love you Sis night” I was asleep pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow. Then it happened. I was in my dream and I was looking at a girl that looked like me. It was like looking at myself in a mirror
Then the girl in the dream spoke and said “Hello Carla, it's me Jean your twin and the other half of your soul. I will always be with you till you join me on this side.”
I woke up trembling with Rita holding me, she shushed me and I went back to a dreamless sleep.
To be continued
I woke up trembling with Rita holding me. She shushed me and I went back to a dreamless sleep.
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Mum came into our room at six am. “Get up sleepyheads, we're going to church this morning.”
“What?” said Rita “we're not religious!”
“No we're not, but we're going to join your new uncle this morning.”
I was rubbing the sleep from my eyes and said “Who's this new uncle Mum?”
“Don't be a smarty-pants Carla, or I’ll get Bill to come in with a bucket of water to get you both out bed the quick way.”
I replied “Oh that uncle!” and quickly got out of bed and pulled the blankets off Rita. As I ran out of the room to go to the toilet before I peed myself, Mum started to chase me with a straw broom, so I ran into the toilet and locked the door.
“Cheeky little monkey!” she said.
I did my business and opened the door just a little bit in case Mum was still there waiting for me, it wasn't Mum, but Rita standing there crossing her legs.
“Hurry up or I'm gonna pee meself.”
“Alright, alright! I'm going, NO need to panic. Bloody hell! - why is everyone so cranky this morning?”
“Too friggin' early to be up on a Sunday morning, that's why!”
“At least the cockies weren't in the tree this morning, screaming their heads off.” I replied.
Mum said “Stop all that bla-- err swearing you two. Anybody would think we’re a mob of bushies.”
Rita and me said in unison “ Yeah we are”.
Mum poked her head around the corner of the verandah where the kitchen door was. “Hurry up, have a shower and get dressed into something nice for church”.
We went back to our bedroom and Rita pulled out clothes for both of us to wear to church and put them on the beds. We grabbed a couple of towels and went to the bathroom together still wearing our pink nighties.
“Hurry up and get in the shower Carla! I'll get in with you to save time.”
I didn't argue and she followed me in. I was looking at her breasts and then at her pubic hair.
“God! I wish I could look like that down there and have breasts.”
“Even if you were born a girl, you are too young to have breasts yet!”
“I don't want to go back to being a boy.”
I had tears in my eyes but the shower was wetting my face so it didn't look like I was crying, but Rita saw my shoulders shaking and gave me a hug.
There was no shame between us hugging while we were naked, as far as we were concerned we are sisters and I didn't think of myself as a boy.
We finished our shower and dried each other's hair. My hair was a lot longer now, still too short for my liking, but long enough to be girl length. Rita liked to braid hers, but I let mine loose, and wore a head band. It seemed more girly to me, probably because I had something to prove to myself.
As we were walking back to our bedroom with towels wrapped around us, Mum and Bill were both going to the bathroom to have a shower 'together'.
Bill looked over his shoulder and said “It's o.k. kids we're old enough to shower together!” Just as the door to the bathroom was closing, we saw Bill grabbing Mum's behind, and we could hear her squeal, as they got into the shower together.
We got back to our bedroom and Rita helped me dress. First I put on knickers and a vest shirt, and Rita said to take the vest off again because the summer dress that I was going to wear would not look good with a vest showing around the top.
“Put your arms up and I’ll slip this over your head.” Once the dress was pulled down into place, she said “Turn around so I can zip you up. Now go and put those sandals on while I get dressed”
Rita also put on a summer dress, but didn't wear a bra.
“Mum will make you wear a bra Rita! Your tits are too big now not to wear one.”
“Yeah, well I don't like the feel of the bra, it feels too tight and I can't breath properly when I have one on.”
“Yeah, well I don't have that problem do I, but I wish I did.”
Rita laughed and said “If we feed you the right pills you'll soon have some.”
“Will they make my willy drop off as well?”
Rita jiggled her breasts, then we both started to giggle like a pair of idiots,.
Just then, I heard Mum behind me laughing. ”Carla you will have to be patient like the rest of us, to be able to get the things we want in life.” and “Rita you are going to get measured for a new bra at Mary's shop tomorrow morning.”
“You'll drive that young Peter crazy if you don't hide those nipples under a bra.”
“Yes mum.” Rita said rolling her eyes.
Bill came in the room “Excuse me ladies, breakfast! In the kitchen now!”
“What's for brecky Uncle Bill?”
“Get in the kitchen and ya'll will see won't ya! Come on hurry up or we’ll be late for church.”
Rita asked,“Uncle Bill, what church are we going to?”
“The one down the road!”
“No, I mean what church, you know who are they?”
“Oh it’s the Catholic one Rita.”
“Uncle Bill,” I said, “Will Ricky Smith be there?”
“Sure will, so will his mum and dad.”
“Mum, do you think I should put on a bra?”
“Too late Rita. You'll just have to make sure to walk and not run, won't you!”
“And you want tits Carla! Ha!” said Rita.
Rita bounced her breasts again and we started giggling all over again. Well Rita and I thought it was funny.
Bill said “Lets go.” and started walking towards the gate. Mum, Rita and I stopped walking.
Mum said “Where are you going Bill?”
“I'm goin' to church. Are you lot comin' or not?'
“Uncle Bill how far is it to the church?”
“About a block down the road. We drive past it on the way to town, Carla.”
“Oh we'll walk then will we?”
“Look just get moving or I'll have to go by myself.”
We walked swiftly to the church, and it only took us five minutes. The service started at nine, but we were there at a quarter to, so we met the Smiths at the front gates of the church.
“Hello everyone,” said Mrs Smith “I'm Helen, Barry’s wife, welcome to Quilpie.”
“G'day, I'm Donna White and these are my kids Rita and Carla.”
The oldies started walking into the church, but the boys hung back a little bit, to talk with us before we went into the church.
“Rita you look really pretty in that dress.” Peter said, looking more at her breasts than her face.
Rita said “Thanks Pete, you scrub up well too,” blushing while she said it.
Rick said “Yeah you look o.k. too Carla.”
“Thanks Rick. We'd better go into the church and find where the oldies are sitting”.
We sat ourselves behind Mum, Bill, Peter, and Rick's parents. The service took an hour, and after it was over there were cakes and tea served in the hall which belonged to the church and was also used for Saturday night dances.
There were bottles of locally made soft drinks for the kids to drink, stacked in an old Charles Hope fridge painted in army green. There was a lot of army surplus stuff in western Queensland, The Government used to have auctions once a year in Brisbane, And outback towns would end up buying all sorts of things that were ex-army, from trucks to fridges, like the one at the church hall.
While the adults were have their tea and cakes and talking about 'adult things', us kids, got our soft drinks and some Anzac biscuits and went out to a shed which was set up with table tennis and dart boards. Rita and Pete played me and Rick in a game of darts. Rita and I were really good at darts, because we used to play with the shearers that came to River Downs to shear the sheep. Pete and Rick weren’t bad either, so it was a fairly even match. After about half an hour, we called it quits and went back to the main hall to see what the adults were doing.
“Ahh! There you are,” said Mrs Smith, “Did you all have fun out in the shed?”
“Yeah Mum, me and Pete beat the girls at darts!”
“Yeah! that's because we let you win, little boy.” said Rita.
“Bullsh-- err bugge err, no you didn't we won fair and square!”
“O.K. that's enough arguing you two.” said Mum and Barry at the same time. “It's time to go home so you two boys can get into your homework.”
Helen looked at me and said “What about you Carla? How's your schooling coming along?”
Mum quickly replied, ”Oh I’m home schooling Carla for the rest of this school year, Because we don’t know just how long we'll be staying in Quilpie yet, and Carla has a bit of a medical problem to deal with at the moment.”
'Uh Oh! First bit of trouble' I thought. 'Here come the awkward questions about what is wrong with me.'
“Oh nothing serious I hope?”
“Well, we don't now till I take her to a GP and get a referral to a specialist in Brisbane.”
“Donna let me know when you plan to go. I'll be happy to accompany you and your daughter,-- I wouldn't mind a trip to Brissi”
“Alright Helen it won't be for a couple weeks. I'll let you know when we get the appointment.”
“This is news to me, Rita did you know?” I whispered.
“Yeah, Mum mentioned it a few days ago, but told me not to say anything to you.”
“Why? That's not fair.” I said out loud enough to make everyone turn around and look at me.
“Carla, we'll talk about it when we get home,--alright sweetheart?”
We said our goodbyes to the Smiths, and started walking the short distance home. I was in tears,and Rita put her arm around my shoulder as we walked along. Mum and Uncle Bill were walking a bit in front of us, talking quietly so we couldn't hear what they were talking about.
“It's alright Sis, I think they're working out what to do about your little problem.”
“But it's a a bo u ut meee!”
“They didn't want to get get your hopes up, in case they can't get you an appointment in Brisbane. Now dry your eyes.”
When we got home Mum told us to change out of our church clothes into something more comfortable. I put on a pair of denim shorts, and the white blouse with the red roses sewn on the front. Rita looked through the suitcase that we hadn't unpacked yet and got out a pair of old jeans that she cut off and made shorts out of, and a pink T-shirt .
“Rita you gonna put on a bra?”
“Yeah, 'Spose so.”
She was about to jiggle her breasts again when Mum yelled out from the kitchen, “Hurry up you two.” We didn't look at each each other because we would not be able to stop ourselves from giggling.
We didn't wear shoes a lot until we had to go out into the yard, but we put on thongs (flip/flops) because the prickles were real bad in western Queensland. They were impossible to eradicate because when the lawns were mowed the seeds would spread and the growing cycle would start all over again.
Anyway we got dressed and went to the kitchen where Mum was preparing a lunch of salad and curried eggs, my favourite.
Mum said “Sit down at the table. We'll eat in here. It's easier to clean up later.”
Just as we sat down, Bill came in to the kitchen, “Gees that smells good. I’m really hungry after that walk this morning.”
Mum said “Come and sit down sweetheart and I’ll serve it up.”
“Your Mum's a great cook girls, she'll do real well in the restaurant when we re-open it “
“Yeah but she only calls family sweetheart”
“Rita don't be rude to Bill, and apologise now!”
“Sorry Uncle Bill. What I meant was that you are family. Oh forget it!”
“Rita, I know what you meant to say,darling, - and thanks.”
I said, “Gees will every one relax? We all love being here with you Uncle Bill.”
I went to where he was sitting and hugged him, and kissed him on the cheek.
Mum said “We don't have to have a love in. Carla sit down and have your lunch.”
“Yes mum sorry.”
Once we had finished lunch and cleared the table, and helped Mum wash and dry the dishes Bill said “Come out onto the verandah, we have some talking to do.”
Rita and I sat ourselves in the swinging love seat while Mum and Bill sat across from us in a couple of canvas squatters chairs (deck chairs).
Bill said, “Donna 'luv' do you want to start or will I?”
“Bill you can. After all, it will affect you as much as the rest of us.”
“Right,” said Bill, “Carla, Rita, me and your Mum have come to a decision, but we want to make sure that you two will be happy, to go along with what will happen in the future.
“It looks like, Donna-- err your Mum an me are gettin' along pretty well so you'll be staying here, -- any questions so far?”
I looked at Mum, “What about my 'little problem' Mum? What if I get found out?”
Before Mum could answer, Bill said, “We're going to sort that out in the next couple of weeks Carla; that is if you really want to stay being a girl?”
Rita looked at Uncle Bill, “What do you mean stay? She has always been a girl inside a boy's body; and she also has her twin sister Jean's spirit inside her.
“Look Rita, let Carla speak for herself for once, O.k?”
I had tears forming in my eyes and looked at Uncle Bill. “Uncle Bill, Mum,--I would rather let a 'black red belly snake' bite me and die than go back to pretend being a boy again.”
“O.k .than we'll see if we can make it happen. I don't want to lose another child because of my stupidity.”
“O.k. now dry those beautiful big brown eyes of yours, and we'll tell you what is going to happen tomorrow.”
The discussion went on for another half an hour,and I was told all about the doctors appointment in the morning, so we could get a referral to a special doctor in Brisbane and sort out my future. It was two o’clock on Sunday afternoon and Bill said it was too hot to work in the yard yet, so he went to take a nap. Mum gave me a couple of hours of school work to do, because of the appointment in the morning, and didn't want me falling behind in my lessons. I went to my bedroom and sat at the desk that Mum shifted from another room so I did all my school work without being disturbed, We'd also set up the two way radio so I could still talk to the School of the Air if I wanted to get extra help, which I used from time to time to help me along the way.
Rita went with Mum to the restaurant and started sorting things out so it could be opened up in the next couple of weeks, Mum brought home fish and chips for dinner because it was getting too late to cook anything. We had our meal and said goodnight, and retired to our bedrooms and went to sleep pretty well straight away.
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Jean was in my dream, calling to me to come and sit down in a field of lush green grass, but she seemed to be communicating with her mind. I asked her 'where am I?', but nothing was coming out of my mouth. This seemed too real to be a dream I thought. She was dressed in a beautiful blue and white gown. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing a double of myself, only I was still in my pink nightie.
I heard her in my mind when she spoke, “Carla, I will speak to you in your dreams to help you in your life.”
I thought back to her 'Jean is this real?' She smiled back and in my mind she said 'Carla we are as one and we are connected by our spirit, I love you.'
I woke up with a jolt. It was five o’clock in the morning and Rita was in my bed with her arm draped over my waist. “Good morning Sis, are you finished having your conversation now?“
“What! Am I awake or am I still dreaming?”
“Yeah you're awake now, but you were talking in your sleep and trembling, so I came and lay in bed with you.”
“Rita, Jean is talking to me in my dreams by being in my mind, not with her mouth.”
“Well you were saying something, but I couldn't make out what you were saying, and I guessed it was Jean you were communicating with.”
“Wow Rita. She said we are connected by our spirit and she will help me in my life.”
“Well you will probably need all the help you can get if you are going to be a girl.”
We both got up and showered together and got dressed before Mum and Bill got up. I knew I would be seeing the doctor later that morning and wanted to look as girly as possible, so Rita got out a pretty summer dress with floral print and and a thin red belt to go with it. My shoes were brown Mary Janes. They were all from the charity shop we went to last week. She brushed my hair till it was almost dry and put it in a high pony tail with a pink ribbon. I looked in the mirror and said “WOW!”
I looked more like a ten year old, which I thought was great. No sign of a boy anywhere to be seen. Rita dried her hair and got me to braid it into two pigtails. If she didn't get it wet for a couple of days it could stay like that. She than got dressed in jeans and a plain blouse and tennis shoes, because she was going to do some cleaning at the restaurant with Uncle Bill.
Uncle Bill usually ran the service station and caravan park, and his mechanic Henry ran the garage part of the business. Anyway it was still only six o'clock, and Mum and Bill were awake, because we heard them talking and laughing. Who knows what they were getting up to? We went to the kitchen and I helped cook eggs with bacon and made toast in the open fireplace in the stove, and Rita made a pot of tea. There was enough of everything for four people. Then we put Mum and Bill's breakfast on a tray, and we left ours on the table to come back to in a couple of minutes.
I knocked on their bedroom door and said “Room service are you both decent?”
Mum said “Cheeky monkey, yes come in.”
Rita said ”Breakfast in bed for Mum and Dad eer, um Uncle Bill, sorry!”
Uncle Bill said “That sounds pretty good to me luv. I rather like the sound of it.”
Mum said it was o.k. at home but not in public, not yet anyway.
“Thanks you two for breakfast in bed. I could get used to this real quick.” said Mum.
Bill said “I could get used to having two pretty daughters around to spoil me.”
Mum said “Settle down Bill Darling! All in good time.”
Mum and Bill got up and showered together, Saving water is their 'excuse'. Yeah right! Then they got dressed and ready for Monday morning work time.
My appointment with the doctor was at eight thirty, so Mum decided to do a bit of book work for the restaurant.
She said “Carla go do some reading for half an hour.”
Was she kidding? I couldn’t sit still let alone read. I am scared of doctors at the best of times.
Mum and I got in the Rover just after eight o'clock, Mum was dressed in what looked like a dark business suit. Her hair was put up in a large bun and it was the first time I had ever seen her wear heels. They were also red to match the suit, wow! She was beautiful. No wonder Bill had fallen for her in a big way.
We got to the doctor's surgery just before eight thirty, and went to the receptionist sitting at her desk. She was an older lady with a smiling sort of face.
Mum said “Hello, I'm Donna White, and I have an appointment to see doctor Ryan.”
“Yes Mrs White. He will see you and your son first up, is he still outside?
“No it is my youngest daughter I want him to examine.”
“Oh I'm sorry. It says you have a son by the name of Carl, on the register of the Flying Doctor Service which we keep for our records in case we have to use their services in an emergency”
“Well, that's the reason I'm here to get a referral to take Carla to a specialist in gender related problems.”
“Oh Carla. I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you a boy, You certainly don't look like a boy to me.”
“Mrs White, my name is Jan Ryan, I'm Jim's wife and receptionist, and we've been here in Quilpie for over twenty years.”
Mum said “Call me Donna, Jan. Me and my kids are staying with Bill Croft for a while till we work out what were going to do with our lives.”
“Yes I know Donna, I saw you at church yesterday and all I could see was two pretty girls with you”
Mum said “A small town has its advantages doesn’t it?” laughing as she said it.
There was the sound of a little buzzer on her desk.
Jan said “You can go in now, Carla.”
To be continued.
In the next chapter : referral for Brisbane.
The story will resume after a break for the Festive Season.
Previously
There was the sound of a little buzzer on her desk and Jan said “You can go in now Carla.
-----------ooooooooooooo---------
The buzzer made me jump. Jan the doctor's wife nodded at Mum and said “Both of you, in you go.”
Mum grabbed me by the hand and knocked lightly on the door and opened it.
“Ah Mrs White, come in and take a seat. Come along Carla don't be nervous.”
Mum said “Doctor Ryan, thank you for seeing us at such short notice.”
“That's all right. When Bill rang me to make the appointment; he stressed that it is reasonably urgent that I see Carla, to see what we can do for her. Oh and please call me Jim. It's a small town and we all know each other so it just makes it more relaxed to talk to my patients on a first name basis.”
“O.k.” said Mum “I’m Donna.”
“Good; now lets get started on the problem that we have with Carla.” He looked me directly in the eyes and said “Carla you certainly look like a girl to me.”
Mum just sat quietly and listened to what was being said.
I already started forming tears in my eyes, so Mum grabbed my hand and said “It's o.k. Sweetheart. You just take your time and tell Doctor Ryan how you feel inside and don't leave anything out.”
I looked at Mum and said, “Even about what Jean does?”
“Yes Carla, that is where it all started after all, isn't it?”
Anyway, I told Doctor Ryan every thing in my own way,and he didn't interrupt me and after wetting two hankies that Mum pulled out of her bag, he nodded his head and said, “Thanks Carla.”
“O.k. Donna. I guess you have gone through this with Carla right from the start when you lost Carla's twin?”
“Well Carla was never Carl, apart from having a penis. She has always acted in a feminine way, and
Rita has always treated her as a girl; pretty much as soon she was walking. My son John wanted nothing to do with her, and James was gone from sunrise till dark working on the station.”
Doctor Ryan said, “Bill said you were a cook for the station work crew?”
Than Mum started from the beginning and told the doctor her version of what happened after she had given birth to identical twins, a boy and girl. She explained how Jean died from complications with her lungs and how it was too late to save my sister when the Flying Doctor crew arrived. Also how she ended up with post natal depression but had to keep working in the station kitchen to feed the workers,even though Marge; Tom's wife was giving her a hand to do the cooking, and she was feeling very low.
Rita and John spent their days doing school work on the two way radio and I spent a lot of time as a toddler in the kitchen, with Mum and Marge taking turns to entertain me. When John wasn't doing school work, he would hang out in the sheds with Dad and the guys. He was not interested in spending any time with his little brother, so it was Rita that spent all her spare time with me, and of course that's when all the dressing in girl's clothes started.
Anyway, as time went on, Rita and I became closer. She would call me Carla instead of Carl, and Mum explained how about this time, things got strained between her and Dad; and eventually he left, so she didn't have any reason to stop Rita from treating me like her little sister when she played dress up with me. Then by the time I reached eight John went to his father and got a job with a builder in another western town. She finished by saying “And here we are in your surgery.”
Doctor Ryan was amazed at the story Mum was telling him especially the bit about my twin being in my dreams and connecting with me when things go wrong.
He looked at me and said “It is quite common for identical twins to live in each others minds, and just because Jean is not here on earth does not mean her spirit can not be with you.”
I said “I'm not crazy then doctor?”
“No sweetheart, you are far more sane than a lot of people that I treat in this surgery.”
Mum said,”What do you think we can do about Carla's little problem Jim?”
“Right,” he said “I will get you an appointment with a specialist in Brisbane and we will take it from there Donna.”
“How long will it take to get an appointment in Brisbane? Because I am about to open up the restaurant for Bill and I’ll be quite busy once that happens.”
He said, “I won't know till I ring later today, but as soon as I know I’ll ring the garage, and Bill will switch me through to to the restaurant and I'll let you know what time it can be arranged.”
I breathed a sigh of relief and I don't know why but I was so excited that I went and hugged him, and he said, “Wow Carla! If you keep this up I wont be able to charge your mum for my consultation!”
“Bye then Jim we'll talk to you later,”she replied.
We left the doctors surgery and Mum drove me back home to set up some school-work for me to do that day, and then made us some pancakes for morning tea. Afterwards she changed into jeans and a t-shirt and went to do some more organising at the restaurant with Bill and Rita.
I settled down and and did my school work and also had to get on the two way radio to ask some questions about my social studies project The Air School teacher said it was good to hear from me and hoped I was having a good time living in town.
I stayed in my pretty sun dress till I finished my school-work and changed into a denim skirt and t-shirt - 'pink' of course. My hair stayed in the high pony tail with the ribbon in it. Did I tell you I like pink!?
I'd made myself some lunch from left-overs in the fridge and had a glass of milk. It was one o'clock so I decided to do another hour of school work, so if the trip to Brisbane took a few days I wouldn't be behind by the end of the school year. I'd be nine in three months, so if I was sent to the state school the following year I'd be in fifth grade. I hoped they wouldn't try to make me go back to being a boy, because if they did I would run away into the bush and hide. I knew how to catch fish, and I had learned all about bush tucker from the aboriginal workers on River Downs, so I would not go hungry in the bush.
Anyway it was almost two thirty when I thought I'd walk into town to see how Mum and Rita were doing at the restaurant. Half-way there I saw a heap of kids come down the road from the school. It must have been three o'clock and school was being let out. I got a lot of strange looks because I was walking to the school and not away to go home and not in uniform, but none of the boys said anything as I walked through them in the opposite direction, Than, as I got closer to the school there were three girls about my age walking towards me giggling and making a lot of noise when they spotted me.
One of them said “G'day. You're the new girl I saw with Ricky Smith and his brother at church yesterday aren’t you?”
“Yep that's me, I'm Carla White! What's your name?”
“I'm Jenny, that's Brenda and June," and then she asked, “How come you're not going to school?”
After I explained where I came from and what was happening with my schooling.
Jenny said “We normally do our home work, and then go to the park down the road for awhile If you want be our friend. you can join us there any afternoon if you want!”
“O.k.” I said “I'll see ya later, bye.”
Just as I started to walk past the school Ricky came out of his house to the front gate, “G'day Carla what you doin' in town”?
“Just goin' to see if I can help out down at the restaurant with Mum and Rita, Do you want to come too?”
“Yeah. I'll just ask Mum if I can go. I don't have any homework to do today. Hang on a tick and I'll ask!”
He came back out with his Mum behind him at the front door, “Hello Carla, Ricky will double you on his bike if that is o.k. with you?”
“Yes Mrs Smith, we left our bikes back at River Downs because there wasn't enough room on the ute.”
“O.k. you two. Be careful on the road, and Ricky be home before dark.”
“Yes Mum,” he said rolling his eyes,and whispered “I'm not a baby Mum.”
It was only a couple of blocks away from the restaurant so it didn't take long to get there but it was a bit awkward trying to get on to the cross bar wearing a skirt and not giving people a show of my knickers when I got off outside the restaurant. Mum was standing on the footpath and said “Wear jeans or shorts next time you double on a boys bike Carla. That way you wont show us all what colour panties you are wearing.”
Both me and Rick went as red as beetroots, and Mum said as she walked back inside “Your bikes will be here in a couple of days on the back of the mail truck.”
Rick stayed till five o'clock and got on his bike and rode home before it got dark, but before he went, I went outside with him to say bye and see him later, when he said “Carla I really like you, and I'm glad you saved me in the river the other day.”
I said “I couldn't let a friend drown now could I?" and kissed him on the cheek,
Rick took off with a red face once more, Rita said “I saw you do that, you little flirt, and you talk about me and Pete!”
Mum said “I'll just tell Bill we’re heading off home to get the dinner prepared for later. You two lock up here and get in the Rover, I'll be back in a tick.”
Driving home Mum said “That was nice of Ricky to come and give us a hand to get things ready in the restaurant wasn't it?”
“He's got the hots for our little flirt here hasn't he?” said Rita.
“You're only jealous because Pete hasn't kissed you yet, so there!”
“Stop that you two! Carla you had better be careful, don't you think?
“Yeah and stop kissing him Carla. What if finds out that you still got a willy?”
That set me off and I started to cry. Rita said “I'm sorry Sis, I just don't want you to get hurt. Ricky and Pete don't know about you, and I really don't know what would happen if they found out.”
Mum said,”I've had a word with Mr Smith and told him you had a medical problem, and if you start going to school here, there would be special rules for you Carla.”
“Mum when will we be going to Brisbane?”
“Patience sweetheart. It's only been a few hours since we saw Doctor Ryan. It'll take a couple of days to get an answer back from the doctor in Brisbane.”
We arrived home and went to our room to get a change of clothes and went to take a shower and get the dirt off us from scrubbing everything down in the restaurant kitchen. When we were out of the bathroom, Mum went in and got cleaned up as well.
Mum said as she was closing the door “Go and peel some spuds and carrots.” They came from the vegie garden in the back yard. We went into the kitchen and got the spuds, carrots and also a pumpkin out of the box in the walk-in pantry. We'd had all the peeling and cutting up done by the time Mum came back from having a shower.
The kitchen had a shop type freezer in one corner of the room and Mum got out some frozen beans that Uncle Bill put in it from the last crop he grew in the back yard. The same freezer also had a stack of meat stored at one end, so Mum got some out to defrost it in the oven, with the door open so it would defrost and not cook. When Bill came in the kitchen both me and Rita gave him a hug and kissed him on both cheeks at the same time and said in unison “Hello Dad.”
Bill said “Aww you two!,Donna did you put em up to that?”
“Don't look at me Bill honey,they just think of you as their Dad now.”
Bill teared up a bit and said “This feels real good to have two pretty girls fussing over me, and their Mum looking after me as well.”
Mum than gave our new Dad a kiss on the lips and said “Bill get used to this because I think I like being here with you as much as the girls do. Now go and have your shower, and then we can all sit down have dinner out on the verandah in the cool. Right girls, go set the table on the verandah, and we'll dish up as soon as Bill, your new Dad gets out of the shower, but please no more love-ins till later alright?”
We set the table out on the verandah, while Mum got a serving trolley from a store room at the other end of the house and wheeled it into the kitchen to bring the food out to the verandah. Bill was all cleaned up and wearing a pair grey slacks and polo type t-shirt, Rita said, “Dad you look really nice when you dress up a little bit
”
I said “Daddy I think you are yummy!!”
Just than Mum came out with the food on the trolley and said “I thought I told you two no more love-ins “
Bill said “Donna, they're just having some fun, and I certainly enjoy being called Daddy by Carla.”
Mum said “Well if that is what you want Bill, I wont stop them from now on, but you will have to explain to people why they now call you their father.”
“Not to many people will challenge me if they know what’s good for their friendship with me, Donna.”
“O.k. Bill. I’ll have to trust your judgement on that." replied Mum.
“Right Rita, you dish up the veggies, and I’ll go back and get the lamb chops off the stove,and we can eat.”
We finished the main meal, when Daddy said “Right whose for ice cream for desert?”
Mum said “Only one problem we don't have any.”
Daddy winked at me, “Carla luv, there's some in the freezer I brought home. Go and bring it out with some plates and spoons.”
“Yes Daddy,” I said. Mum rolled her eyes and shook her head, but smiled at Daddy with a dreamy look in her eyes.
Rita jumped up and said “I'll help you Sis."
When we got to the freezer Rita said said “I didn't think Mum would let you get away with that."
“With what?”
“Calling Bill Daddy, Dummy!”
“Why? You called him Dad first. I'm younger and allowed to call him Daddy.”
“O.k, we'd better get this ice cream out to the verandah or it will melt.”
When we got out there, Mum had a basket with strawberries she got from the garden, while we were at the freezer arguing about what to call Bill.
We'd finished desert and started to clear the table when Daddy said, “Will everyone sit down for a bit? I want to say something and I want to say it to to all three of you.” and than he took Mum's hands in his and said, “Donna I'm afraid I've fallen in love with you, and want to look after you and your girls if you'll have me?”
Mum was still holding Daddy’s hands and said “Bill sweetheart! I feel the same way, and the girls have already shown you how they feel about you.”
Rita said, “At least you haven’t rejected Carla like my other dad, and brother did. I'd like you to be my Dad,and I know Carla loves her new Daddy.”
We finished clearing the table , did the washing up and went to our bedrooms when Mum came to our room and sat on my bed and said, “I hope you kids are o.k. with all this?”
Rita came over to my bed and sat down next to Mum and put her arm around Mum's shoulder and said, “Mum you deserve some happiness in your life after that no good father of ours left us like he did.”
I hugged mum from the other side and agreed with Rita.
Mum got up and said “I love you girls. Oh by the way Rita, I forgot all about your bra fitting today. We'll do it tomorrow morning first up ok?”
“Good night Mum” we said in unison. We were asleep in minutes.
I didn't have any dreams that I could remember as I woke up the next morning, so Rita was still asleep in her own bed. I wondered when I would see Jean in my dreams again. It seemed to happen just prior to waking up from a deep sleep. I am going to have to ask the doctor in Brisbane about that I thought to myself.
I was going to go to the bathroom to pee, and thought I'd have my shower while I was there.
“Morning Sis, you're up early.”
“Yeah weak bladder, gotta go!”
“Wait up I'll come with ya,”
“What to watch me?”
“No! silly so we can have a shower before Mum and Dad get up.”
“O.k. I'll just grab the towels, but I get to use dunny first”
“Hurry up or I'll be sitting on my sister to do it.”
Mum opened her bedroom door “Hurry up you two or I'll be sitting on both of you.”
“That got us getting the giggles, and we both almost wet our knickers.”
Anyway we had our shower together like we normally did and got dressed.
We both decided to wear jeans and t-shirts. Mine was 'pink' of course, and Rita had on a blue one. We had thongs for footwear.
“Rita,” I said “What about a bra?”
“What about a bra?”
“Aren’t you gonna wear one?”
“Why bother? I'll only have to take it off at the dress shop.”
“Yeah 'spose so, but Mum won't be happy with your nipples showing.”
“Stop goin' on! I'll put some band-aids on 'em alright?”
I said, “Yeah just sayin', Geees!”
Anyway we went to the kitchen where our new Daddy had breakfast ready for us,
“Sit down kids. Ya Mum will be ready in a minute too. We'll all go in to the shop today. We want to open the restaurant next week, so it'll be all hands on deck for a couple of days, o.k?”
We both said “Yes Daddy” in unison.
Every time we did that Daddy has a little chuckle. After Mum came in to the kitchen we had breakfast, got in the car and went straight to the restaurant. Rita asked Mum about the bra fitting, and Mum told her as soon as Mary Winton's shop was open she would take her there. That would be at nine o'clock and it was only seven thirty so we could do a bit of work first. Daddy was arranging all the restaurant furniture while the rest of us sorted out the kitchen. It was all clean, and the fridges had to be stocked with food for Mum to start cooking when the first customers came, probably from the caravan park.
I said Mum “What about my school-work?”
“You'll be right for a coupla days Carla. Your work is well ahead of schedule so stop worrying so much.”
At nine o'clock we three ladies went for a walk down to the dress shop. Mary was at the front of the shop just, opening the door when we got there.
“Oh hello ladies,” she said. I always feel good when I’m included in that.
“G'day, Mary. We need to have you measure Rita for some bras, if you not too busy?”
“Come on in and we'll see what we can do for you Rita.”
I was included in everything that went on and was amazed at the different type of bras there were, Mum bought three bras for Rita and a couple for herself, all the fitting was done with me looking on, being quite jealous that I had no reason to wear one. 'Oh well in a couple of years.' I thought. I ended up with some vests and and six more knickers,so I was happy not to miss out.
When we got back to the restaurant, Daddy asked me if I was ready to go to the big smoke, I said “I dunno. Why Daddy?”
“Well it looks like you have an appointment to see a doctor San Lee in Brisbane in two weeks time. While you lot were spending money at Mary's, Jim Ryan rang. Donna you'd better ring Jan and get all the details.”
I stood there with my mouth open, Mum said, “Sweetheart, close your mouth or you'll start catching flies.”
Rita said, ”Can I come to Brisbane too Mum?”
Mum looked at Rita and said “I think you might be needed in the restaurant by then, but there will be lots of trips to Brisbane, if Carla gets the go ahead with her little problem to be fixed.”
We spent the rest of the day getting everything ready to open the restaurant next Monday, Mum also rang Jan to get all the info for the trip to Brisbane, and rang Ricky's Mum to let her know If she was still interested in going to Brisbane with us. I did lots of extra school work in the next two weeks to make up for the time that we'll be away.
I had a lot of restless nights till the next two weeks were up. Mum Rita and Daddy had opened the restaurant as planned and Rita was learning the ropes. Daddy has arranged for his mechanic Henry's wife Linda to help run the shop while me and Mum were away.
To be continued.
===========================
Next time the big trip to the big smoke
Previously
It was two weeks till I had an appointment in Brisbane. Mum had opened up the the restaurant and arranged for Linda, Henry’s wife to help Rita and Daddy with the running of the restaurant while we were away in Brisbane.
Oooo000oooo
By the time Friday morning arrived I was on tenterhooks. I'd done a lot of school work and didn't have any worry about falling behind, but I didn't sleep well the last couple of nights worrying about flying. We were going to take the bus to Charleville and then board a Trans Australian Airline 'DC3' to fly all the way to Brisbane. Mum had packed enough clothes to stay in Brisbane for two weeks if necessary just in case we had more appointments to attended to. At seven o'clock we were ready to go. Rita came with us to see us off at the bus stop - Daddy loaded our luggage into the trunk of the car and we set of to pick up Rick's mum Helen on the way. She was coming with us to spend some time with Mum and me In Brisbane, She also wanted to do some clothes shopping for her family.
As Daddy pulled up in front of her house she was waiting with her suitcase at the front gate with the boys and Mr Smith. They were all fussing about her flying for the first time.
I said “Don't worry it is the first time for me too.”
Mum said “Nothing to it. You just get on and hang on to your britches.” with a grin on her face.
So they hugged Helen and said their goodbyes and Pete put her suitcase in the trunk with the rest of the luggage. Ricky came and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said “I hope you'll be o.k. in Brisbane Carla! I'll miss not having you around.”
We got in the car and Daddy drove to the bus stop - which is out the front of his service station. The Greyhound bus was already there and people were already starting to board, probably to get the best seats. Daddy and Mum were hugging and saying goodbye, Rita hugged me and said I'm going to miss you Carla”, And we both had tears in our eyes. I was the last one to get on the bus. Mum and Helen had a seat right behind the driver I sat right beside the motor right in the front of the bus ,Just as well I was wearing jeans or it would have been impossible not to show my knickers to everyone on the bus. The driver had a few words with Daddy — because the service station handled all the ticket sales for the bus service.
It took a couple of hours to get to Charleville and it was ten o'clock when we arrived, so we decide to have morning tea at the service station where the bus dropped us off. It went to the airport and took our luggage there. Once we had our morning tea we got a taxi to the airport.
The flight was due to leave at eleven o'clock — so we had plenty of time to get to the airport, which was called an 'aerodrome' in those days. The plane was being refueled and all the baggage was being loaded into the belly of the plane. The DC3 only took about forty people plus crew, There were no meals as such but they offered you tea and bickies.
I got a window seat because I wanted to see what the big golden eagles saw when they were high up circling the paddock where all the little lambs had just been born. Then they would swoop down and grab them with their sharp talons and tear them up in flight to eat them .
Mum and Helen were sitting opposite on the other side of the aisle, and Helen kept her seat belt done up tight.
After three hours the hostess asked us to put our seat belts back on as we were circling Brisbane and would be landing in ten minutes time. As we reduced altitude I could see the houses and streets and could see why it is called the 'big smoke' because there was a blue haze hanging over the city.
I said “Mum is that smog in the air?”
She replied "It is most likely smoke from all the bush fires that have been burning in the hills around Brisbane the last couple of days."
When the plane landed it made a lot of noise with its tyres on the runway and that freaked me and Helen out.
It soon to a stop outside three big 'igloo' type buildings. I asked Mum what they were and she said, "They were left here by the Americans after the war and they were used as hangers for war planes. The Queensland government converted them to an airport terminal after the war. Anyway the history lesson is over."
When the plane's propellers stopped turning we were allowed to get off. We walked into the funny looking building and got our luggage, and made our way out to the front of the building to look for a taxi to take us to our hotel. We went to the black and white taxi rank and a driver came up to Mum and asked her where we wanted to go.
Mum told him the Belleville Hotel, so he loaded our things into the trunk and and started driving into the city, along a road called Kingsford Smith Drive. We eventually pulled up outside the Belleville Hotel and the driver asked a doorman to get a trolley to take our luggage up to our room. A teenage bellhop came to help us with our baggage.
Mum asked the driver how much for the fare, when Helen said she would get it this time. Mum said o.k. but she would pay for the next one. Helen paid the driver and Mum asked for his card so we could use him next time. We followed the bellboy with our luggage to the reception desk where Mum asked for the key to our room. It is the first time in I have been in a lift and was wondering where the door handle was when the guy pushed a button and the doors slid open much to my amazement.
The boy said “Which room lady?”
Mum looked at the tag and said “Room eighty on the third floor young man, and what's your name?”
“Alan” he replied and said no more. Helen smiled at me and winked. I could see the boy was blushing.
We got out of the lift and our room was just down the corridor. Mum opened the door so he could bring all our things into the room. Before he could leave Mum gave him ten shillings for his troubles.
He said “Thanks' and was gone.
Mum said “A man of few words” and laughed.
Once Mum and Helen unpacked the suitcases and put everything away we sorted out where we would be sleeping, I would sleep with Mum in the double bed and Helen could have the single. The bedroom had an en suite so there was a bath, shower and toilet in the one room. There was also a type of sitting room with a desk and phone, and in this room there was a jug and little fridge so we could make a cup of tea. It all felt very posh. By the time all the clothes were put away we were tired, and made a cup of tea and then had a lie down.
I was too excited to stay on the bed so decide to have a bath in the posh bathroom. There was a bottle of bubble-bath in the room so I tipped half a bottle in the bath tub and filled the tub up with water. I stripped off and climbed in and sank into the bubbles and almost vanished from sight. I was almost asleep when I hear Mum say, “Carla, if you stay in there any longer you will melt”
I said “Will my willy melt as well?” before I realised what I said. I hoped that Helen didn't hear me because I didn't think she knew the truth about me.
Mum said "Hurry up and get out I need to use the toilet." I jumped up without thinking. I was standing there without a stitch on and Helen was standing at the door looking at my little willy and said “Don't worry sweetheart. I know what is happening to you and I'm fine with it.”
Mum said “What about the boys?”
Helen replied “Barry is going to explain everything to them while we are away. They will understand and besides the boys absolutely love both your girls. When Barry explains about gender dysphoria they will be fine.”
By this time I had a towel wrapped around me and I was sitting on the bed crying. Mum had to use the toilet so Helen sat next to me and hugged me till I calmed down.
“Oh sweetheart don't cry I understand what is happening to you. Before I married Barry I worked in childcare and believe me you're not the only little girl with a birth defect. Now dry those pretty brown eyes and get dressed so we can go down to the dining room and have dinner.
Mum helped me get dressed in a pink sun dress that had a bow at the back that I couldn't tie myself. My shoes were white open sandals. While Mum was getting ready, Helen got her hair dryer out of her make up bag and had my hair dry in minutes and plaited my hair into two pony tails with pink ribbons.
Mum said, “Helen, I can see you and my daughter are getting on real well. If you want I can loan her to you when we get back — just in case you get sick of dealing with your boys.”
Helen said, “I might just take you upon that Donna, a Mum can't spoil boys like she can a daughter can she?”
I said, “Do you think Ricky will still want to be my friend when he finds out my little problem?”
“Of course he will" said Helen, "My boys might talk tough but they both have a heart of gold, so stop being such a worry wart.”
There was a black and white television in the room and I turned it on while Helen got ready. Tv was a bit of a novelty for me as there was no reception in Quilpie. Helen got dressed in full view of me so I guessed she was o.k. with me being transgendered.
It was Friday night and the dining room was packed out, but Mum had booked a table at the desk when we booked in and a waiter took us to our table and held the chairs out for us to sit. I could get used to this I thought.
“Wow this is posh,” I said, “Can we really afford to pay for all this?”
“Yes dear. I have an insurance policy that I cashed in which your grandparents took out when I was born. There is quite a bit of money to draw on when needed.”
We had our meal and stayed for about half an hour to listen to the man playing a piano and then went back up to our room. Mum and Helen watched a bit of tv and I slipped into the big bed and closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep so I could hear what what was being said. I know that was being a little bit naughty but I was a bit of a sticky beak like all little girls right? But Mum and Helen only talked about what we were going to be doing tomorrow. So much for my eavesdropping. Serves me right didn't it?
When I went to sleep I found myself in the same field again with the same nightie I had on the last time I had this dream. I started to walk towards the the figure that was in the same blue and white gown as before. As I got closer I recognised the girl that looked so like me it was like looking in a mirror.
This time though I could hear her speaking she said, “Hello Carla you can hear me speak now that you know that I am your sister Jean. When you came to my grave to say goodbye you told me that you would take me with you, and let me live my life inside you and see things through your eyes. God is allowing me to be in your soul to be with you in spirit.” She smiled at me and faded before I could say anything back.
It was morning and Mum was holding me in her arms with Helen looking on with concern on her face. I had tears running down my face but I was not trembling like last time Jean came to me in a dream.
Mum said “It's o.k. sweetheart you're awake now. Do you want to tell me what happened in your dream this time?”
“I can hear Jean now Mum. She talks to me and sounds just like me.”
“Well she is the other half of your soul after all. We will see what the doctor has to say about your dreams, but I think that Jean is inside you for the rest of your life.”
Helen listened in awe as Mum explained about me and my identical twin sister who had passed away three hours after we were born.
Helen just said in a matter of fact way “Dual souls” and shrugged her shoulders as it was nothing new. She held both my hands and looked into my eyes and said “Carla sweetheart, you really are a very lucky little girl. The spirit world is very real and your twin sister will be with you till the time comes for you to join her in that realm.
Mum said, “This thing is normal then?”
“Yes, especially when an identical twin dies at birth”, she replied. “Carla I'll tell you how I know about it but not now.”
Mum said, “That'll be interesting.”
All this made me feel a lot better about my dreams, because I was always too scared to talk about it much in case people thought I was crazy. We all got dressed in jeans , T-shirt and comfortable shoes. We went down to have breakfast and head off to do some shopping,
Another first for me were trams. They were all open and made a lot of noise and had a conductor on board that sold you the tickets. We arrived out the front of a big building that said McWhirters and it was the biggest department store I had ever seen and it had escalators to take you up and down the floors without having to walk. This was so much fun! Mum and Helen went up and down to different departments and bought heaps of stuff. While they did their shopping Mum gave me ten pounds and let me loose in the jewellery section. I spent half on myself and half on stuff for Rita. We ended up with too many bags to go on the tram so Mum went to a phone box and rang the taxi driver that gave her his card yesterday. The cab arrived within five minutes, and the driver got out to open the trunk to put all the bags in.
He said ”I see you have spent all your money”
Mum said, “Yeah we don't hit the city very often.”
The driver said “Thanks for using me again. By the way my name is Tony.”
Mum said “I'm Donna and this is Helen, and this is my youngest daughter Carla.”
Tony gave us a hand to take every thing up to our room. Mum paid him and told him she will call him next time we needed him. It was one pm and they were still serving lunch in the dining room so we went down and had a salad lunch. The rest of the day we spent in our room having a fashion show and at some stage were all in our undies and giggling when Helen said she felt like a teenager with grey hair. Mum said next time we will bring Rita so she can buy all new clothes for herself as well.
Later Mum ordered dinner to be brought up to our room. We watched a movie and went to bed at nine o'clock and went to sleep as soon as our heads hit the pillows.
On Sunday morning we went to a church service in a really big church, I thought it was called a Cathedral. I couldn't get over how big everything was in the city.
It was Monday morning and I was in a panic about what to wear to my docto'rs appointment, because I wanted to look really girly so the doctor wouldn't think I was a boy.
Helen gave me a big hug and said ”Just be yourself and the doctor wont be able to see a boy anywhere o.k?”
Mum rang Tony and told him to pick us up and take us to Spring Hill, where the doctor's surgery was. Tony came and took us there and told Mum to ring him when we wanted to go back to the hotel.
I was in my normal panic mode again and Mum said “Lets go and sit down in the foyer and relax for a bit”. We found a seat and sat down.
Mum said, “Right Carla, I want you to close your eyes and concentrate and see if Jean is with you.”
I did as Mum asked and said in my mind 'Jean where are you?' She was immediately in my head and said 'Relax Carla we are doing this together remember?'
I opened my eyes and said “I am ready to do this Mum.”
The doctors room was on the eight floor. We approached the receptionist's desk and gave our name to the lady. She told us to take a seat and we would be next to go in. I closed my eyes. Jean was still there. Mum gave my hand a squeeze.
The doctors door opened and a girl about my age and her mother came out and said “Goodbye doctor San Lee we'll see you soon.”
The doctor was a Chinese lady with a really pleasant smile which put me at ease straight away. She said “Hello. Come through, Carla isn't it?”
“Yes that right doctor,” I replied.
"Oh call me Rose, and take seat.”
She did not have an accent so she must have been born in Australia.
“Alright,” said Rose “Lets have a look at what Doctor Ryan has sent me in his letter of referral.”
The doctor looked straight at me and said “My goodness, Jim is right. I can't see a boy sitting in front of me.”
Trans Australia Airlines DC3
Belleville Hotel, Brisbane.
Next time blood tests
Previously:
“Alright,” said Rose “Lets have look at what Doctor Ryan has sent me in his letter of referral.”
The doctor took of her glasses and looked at me and said “My goodness Jim is right. I can't see a boy in front of me.”
Doctor San-lee put me at ease as soon as she started talking to me.
She said, “Now Carla, I want you to call me Rose alright?”
“Yes ma'am err Rose. Thank you,” I replied.
Mum said, “Rose I want to thank you for seeing Carla so quickly.”
Rose said, “As a psychiatrist I am especially interested in cases like Carla's because of the twin factor.”
Mum replied, “I see Jim Ryan didn't leave anything out of his letter to you.”
“No. I have known Jim since university, He is a very dedicated man to his patients, and sometimes I wish he and Jan weren’t so far away. Anyway to the business in hand, Carla! I need you to tell me in your own words what you feel inside you, so I can start to sort out your young life.”
“Well, it sort of started when I was about four years old when my sister Rita used to play dress up with me.”
I told her all that I could remember about how my brother and dad treated me, and that, although I was supposed to be a boy, when Rita looked after me I always felt wrong in boys clothes. I stayed away from my brother as much as possible because he would always tease me and threatened to tell Dad about Rita and me going to the workmen's empty quarters to play dress up. When I got a little bit older Rita would take me for walks to my twin sister's grave while I was dressed as a girl. Mum always told us not to let my Dad see us when I was dressed in Rita's old dresses.
“He would have belted us both,” I said, “Mum, I was really scared of John and Dad and I thought he would hurt you too.”
Mum had tears running down her cheeks which set me off as well. She came and sat next to me and took my hands in hers and said “Darling, I know how hard this is for you. Would like to stop for a while?”
I couldn't answer because I was sobbing now.
Rose said “Alright, we all need a break.” Tears were in her eyes as well. She got up and opened the door to the receptionist area and asked someone to organise tea and cakes for us. All three of us went to the bathroom attached to the office and washed our faces. By the time we came back into the office there was a lady arranging three tea cups and saucers and a plate of cup cakes on a small table beside the chairs.
Rose said “Donna, you have a very intelligent daughter, and yes, Carla has a "female" brain. What we have to do is sort out the obvious. How long can you both stay in Brisbane, Donna?”
“A week is all we can manage at the moment. I have just opened up a restaurant in Quilpie and left Rita in charged of the kitchen.”
Rose said, “That's fine. We can get a lot done in that time. Carla, I'm afraid you will feel like a pin cushion by the time you go home.”
She rang the pathology lab in the same building, and arranged for me to give them gallons of blood. Mum accompanied me to the lab which was on the ground floor. I was getting used to using the lifts and knew how to operate them on my own now.
They took three vials of blood, and then gave me some type of very sweet stuff to drink. After waiting for an hour they took another gallon out of my other arm. By this time I started to feel quite weak and was told by a nurse to go into the other room and lie down on the bed. Mum went out to a cafeteria on the same floor to get me some sandwiches and a soft drink. When she come back I must have fallen asleep because she was gently stroking my hair.
“Wake up sweetheart. You have to have something to eat and drink, or you will end up with an enormous headache, but fluids will make you feel better in a little while.”
We were told we could go home for now and they would send the results to Doctor San-lee later that day. We went back up to the doctors receptionist to find out when to come back.
The receptionist said “Oh I’m sorry I forgot to tell you before you went down to the lab Your appointment is at ten am tomorrow.
”
Mum looked at the name tag on the girls top and said, “Thank you Cindy we'll see you then.”
I was still feeling a bit wobbly, so we didn't take a bus like we were going to. Mum found a public phone in the foyer and called Tony to come in his taxi to take us back to the hotel.
Tony arrive within five minutes and said, “'Geeze' Donna! If this keeps up I’ll have to take you home and meet the missus to have a meal, 'Italian style' mind.”
Mum replied “Tony I think I might take you up on that, I'd like to meet your wife.”
Tony said “You have my phone number. What is the number on your phone in your room at Belleville?”
Mum said, “Eighty silly!”
Tom laughed and said “Of course it is, I knew that. Just testing to see if you were paying attention Donna!".
This banter kept up all the way back to the hotel. 'Oldies are funny' I thought.
Mum told Tony to pick us up again in the morning for my next stint with Doctor Rose.
When we got back to the hotel room, Helen was getting dressed to go down for lunch in the dining room. Mum said we would join her in a few minutes after we freshened up a bit. Just as we were about to leave, the phone on the desk rang and made us both jump.
It was Tony. He said if we could make it for lunch tomorrow with him and his wife that would be great.
Mum said yes we would be honoured to and would it be alright if we bring Helen along as well?
“Of course! There is always room for another one at 'Isabella's' table,” he replied.
We went down to the dining room and saw Helen wave to us to come over to the table she had commandeered for us. We had our lunch and the three of us went up to the room to have a nap. I slept for a couple of hours. When I woke up and looked at Mum's little travel clock, it was three o'clock, so I got up and went to the bathroom and relieved my full bladder. When I came back into the bedroom I realised I was alone and panicked. There was a note on the desk next to the phone. I picked it up with shaky hands and read what Mum had written.
'Carla don't panic. We have gone for a walk. Stay in the room and watch some tv till we come back.'
I went to the little fridge and got a can of Coke and turned on the tv. About half an hour later Mum and Helen were back from their walk and were carrying some shopping bags and put them on the bed.
Mum said “Did you have a nice nap Missy?”
“Yerr. They must have drained too much blood out of me this morning and made me weak.”
Helen said “Carla honey you are a funny little thing aren’t you?” and laughed.
I didn't get the joke.
“Carla, while we were out walking we came across a second-hand clothes shop and had a look inside. Well as you can see we brought some really nice things back for you to try on. We can take them back and exchange them if they don't fit you.”
“Mum, does that make me a second-hand rose?”
“No darling, just an inexpensive one,” she laughed.
Helen said “Any wonder Ricky likes you so much Carla - you have made him come out of his shell since you befriended him.”
“Yeah he's my boyfriend.”
Mum said, “Err- um you're a bit young to call him your boyfriend - maybe good friends, hmmm?”
“Yeah Mummy, whatever.” I said rolling my eyes.
Helen said, “I’m going to miss this banter when I get back home.”
I said “You can always adopt me and take me home if you want.”
After Mum and Helen controlled themselves from laughing, Mum said, “Right kid strip off to your undies and lets see what fits you.”
“Ok Mummy,”I said. For some reason I started to feel more like a girl when I called her Mummy.
“Carla sweetheart I don't mind you calling me Mummy. It makes me realise how much of a little girl you really are.”
“Thanks Mummy.” I said, getting used to the sound of it.
Helen was smiling at me and nodding her head in approval.
“Alright enough of the this love in! And start trying on some of these skirts and blouses.”
There were two denim skirts, one blue and one pink with lace around the hem, I liked that they had elastic bands instead of belt loops. The next skirt was a silky pink with white flowers embroidered onto it. Mummy knows how much I like pink. The fit was perfect on all three skirts. Next came the blouses. Two were white and one yellow. All had puffy sleeves and v-neck openings.
I said “Mummy, these have still got new tags on them.”
“Yes dear. They are all factory seconds but are new.”
There was also an assortment of ribbons and a nice pair of flats and red sandals.
“Wow Mummy! Can I wear the pink skirt and yellow blouse tomorrow when we go to the see Doctor Rose?”
“Yes Carla. You like you new clothes then?”
I don’t know why but I started to cry and ran into Mummy's waiting arms.
She held me and said, “Darling let your emotions come out.” and she stroked my hair till I stopped crying. She said, you can have a good talk to the doctor in the morning. Later we had dinner delivered to our room. We watched a move on the tv, and went to bed after that.
Next morning after Tony once again delivered us safely to our destination, he reminded us about having lunch at his place when he picked us up later. Helen came with us as far as the medical building and said she was going to have some more retail therapy and buy herself some more things.
In the lift going up to the eighth floor I started to tremble and couldn't stop. The lift stopped and the door opened. The Doctor's reception area was directly opposite the lift so Mum half carried me through the door and asked Cindy to see if Rose could come and calm me down. Cindy buzzed the doctors office and Rose came out straight away
She said “My God, what has brought this on Carla?”
I was holding on to Mummy and couldn’t get any words out and started to cry.
Mummy said , “I think she is having a panic attack.”
Rose said “Bring her in to my surgery and lay her down on the couch Donna”
The doctor jabbed me with a needle and I seemed float into a dream, and there she was - my sister Jean, still in that beautiful blue and white gown. She was not in that green field as before but seemed to be in the room with me.
I said “Jean what are you doing here?” with my voice not in my mind.
“Carla I'm here to comfort you. Now when you wake up from this dream please be calm.”
“But I can hear you speak. So are you in this room? Can Mummy see you too?”
“No Carla only you and I have this connection, and in time you will learn how to talk to me any time you want to.”
“Jean I have so many questions to ask you.”
“Not now my sister. Now be calm.”
Jean started to fade and I woke up with a start. Mummy was still holding me and she said, “Hello sweetheart. Are we back in the land of the living then?”
“Mummy Jean is here in this room.”
“Well I didn't see her, but I heard the one side conversation you were obviously having with her.”
“I can hear her speak. She told me to be calm and said in time I will be able to talk with her any time I want, and then I woke up.”
Mummy said, “I wish I could see her like you can Carla. She is the other half of you.”
“Mummy she said the connection is only with me.”
As this was happening Rose was listening to every thing I was saying and had a tape recorder going.
Doctor Rose said, “Carla I’m sorry I had to give an injection to help calm you down, but you were about to have a seizure.”
She then said, “Donna this is a fascinating case and it is going to make a very interesting case study in a research project on twins that I’m involved in”
Mummy replied “Rose, does that mean you will help my child become who she is on the inside as well as a matching body?”
“Yes Donna, and to make it easy I will give my time for free,- as long as you agree to let me to call in other people for my study, and I will want to publish a paper on it. Now young Missy, if you have calmed down I want you to tell your Mum when you are about to go into panic mode so she can calm you down before it gets to the stage it did this morning.”
“Yes ma'am, Rose," I said.
“Ok, all the tests are in and it is just as we expected you are more girl than boy. I suspect your twin had something to do with that while you were still in your Mummy's tummy. So when I talk to some of my colleges in a couple of days I will work out a course of action.”
Mummy said “So what happens now Rose? We have to get back home before next Monday.”
“Well,” Rose said, “There is nothing I can do till I do the necessary research and that might take a few days so you may as well go home, - I will contact Jim Ryan and get him to deal with any medication once I decide what that will be.”
Mummy said, “When will we need to come back to Brisbane, Rose?”
“Donna, I will let Jim know when to make the next appointment to come back down to see me.”
Rose gave Mummy a hug, and then hugged me and said “Now you remember what I told you about your panic attacks, ok?”
We said our goodbyes and went down to the lobby to ring Tony to pick us up. Helen was sitting in a lounge area in the lobby with some more shopping bags. Tony arrived soon after and we left to go to his home for lunch.
Mummy said “Tony what is your surname?”
Tony laughed and replied “Bagla. Nice and easy, eh?”
Mummy and Helen laughed and both said at the same time “Italian”
Tony said “Yep but born and bred in Brissi”
“What about you Carla, where were you born?”
“On River Downs,” I replied.
“That's a sheep station isn't it?”
“Yeah and my twin is still there in the peace and quiet.”
“What? She's not living with you then?”
“Yer, she is sorta,” I said. Tony knew straight away what I was talking about.
He said “Carla, I have a sister I lost when I was ten years old and I still feel her spirit around
me thirty years later.”
I said “Was she your twin like my sister Jean?”
“No Carla, she was a year older than me - but we were very close. Me and Anna did everything together. I still miss her very much even after all this time.”
“I see Jean in my dreams and she communicates with me — but she is not a baby like when she died. She looks just like me and sounds like me too.”
Tony said “Dual souls Carla, that's what identical means. Shared spirit if you like. There have been studies done on the subject for years”
Mummy said, “That is what is about to happen in Carla's case Tony. Doctor San—lee has offered to treat Carla for free as long as we agreed that she could write a paper on the findings that she and her colleagues are conducting.
Tony looked at me as I was sitting in the front seat beside him and said, “Carla you don’t seem to look to sick to me, in fact you look the picture of health.”
I looked around at Mummy and she shrugged her shoulders, “Carla you have to deal with questions like this in the future. “Tony is a friend and I think we can trust him don’t you?”
I took a deep breath and said, “Um err Tony I am a girl with a plumbing problem and don’t look like a proper girl down there.” I was feeling really hot in the face and must have been as red as beetroot.
Tony replied, “Is that all Carla? They can fix that no worries. I have a couple of transsexual friends in the taxi business, not bad lookin' sheilas either.”
Mummy said “Thank you Tony. Not everyone will be able to be told so openly. Carla is going to need to be very careful who she tells about her little problem.”
“Well!” said Tony “You will be fine Carla, I don’t see anything but a pretty little girl sitting next to me.”
I looked around at Mummy and Helen in the back and they both winked at me. Tony started to slow down and turn into a big old house with a golden retriever dog sitting at the bottom of the steps wagging its tail. Tony said “She won't bite but will probably want to patted by everyone before she sits down again.” which is exactly what happened.
We walked up the stairs and followed Tony through the big house. It was almost as big as Daddy's house back in Quilpie. When we reached the kitchen Tony's wife Isabella was setting the big table in the adjoining dining room. She was a short plump dark haired woman and looked very Italian.
She spoke perfect Aussie English and said “Well hello everyone. I'm Isabella but Bella is what this guy calls me,” and she gave him a hug and kiss.
Tony said “These are the bushies I've, been carting about for the last couple of days Bella. This is Donna and Helen, and of course the pretty little squirt is Carla.
It was more a dinner than lunch with lamb roast and baked veges and ice-cream for desert. Mummy and Bella swapped recipes while Tony and Helen talked about his sister Anna. I went downstairs and talked to Goldie the retriever.
We said goodbye to Bella, and and made our way back to Tony's taxi. I said 'bye to Goldie and told her to be a good dog and I'd see her next time we are in Brisbane. She wagged her tail and licked my hand
“Right” said Tony “Let's get this show on the road.”
Tony was making his way back to our hotel and said, “Donna, Bella said to tell you next time your down you could stay with us if you want, I think she has taken quite a shine to you.”
Mummy said “As long as we pay our way that sounds great Tony.”
Just as Tony turned into a street that had tram tracks his taxi went off to the centre of the road. There was a tram coming towards us and a big truck pulled out of a side street. I heard a lot of screeching of tyres then metal crunching. I felt like I was being pushed against the door from Tony's side of the car then there was something warm running down the back of my head.
I was dreaming and Jean was holding my hand. I said, “Why am I in bed talking with you Jean? I don’t remember going to bed”
To be continued.
Next time: waking up in a strange room''
----------Please leave some comments--------
Previously
Just as Tony turned into a street that had tram tracks, his taxi went off to the centre of the road. There was a tram coming towards us – and a big truck pulled out of a side street. I heard a lot of screeching of tyres, then metal crunching. I felt like I was being pushed against the door from Tony's side of the car. Then I felt something warm running down the back of my head.-------
I was dreaming and Jean was holding my hand.
I said “Why am I in bed talking with you Jean?I don't remember going to bed.”
Jean smiled at me and then faded, and I woke up to find myself in a strange room and the bed had rails on the side like a cot so I wouldn't fall out I suppose. I thought 'shit the taxi — the noise and then the pain in the back of my head.' I touched the back of my head to see what damage there was and to make sure I didn't have a big bald patch there. I felt a funny lump with some sort cotton bits sticking out. “Stitches” I said.
I had never really seen inside a hospital room before but when I saw all the gadgets hanging off the wall, and oxygen bottles and masks hanging on the wall, the penny dropped. Then I started to panic.
“Mummy! Helen! Tony! Oh no they're all dead!” and I started to scream at the top of my voice “DOCTOR! NURSE! ANYBODY!!! Where's my Mummy?”
Someone opened the door. It was a nurse and she was out of breath.
“What is all the noise about? You will wake up all the other patients in the hospital.”
“I want to see my Mum. Oh nooooo! She's dead isn't she?” I started to sob.
The nurse said “Calm down little one, your Mum is fine. She'll be back in ten minutes. She just went to get herself a cup of strong coffee.” The nurse then put the side of the bed down and got me to sit up and have a drink of water. I had the hiccups from crying.
I said “M-m-my h-he-ad h-hurts”.
She sat on the bed beside me and hugged me and said, “Shhh now, everything will be ok. You have had a nasty bump on the back of your head, and have six stitches in the cut, and no they didn't shave your beautiful blond hair off. You were out cold when the Ambo's brought you in. Let's see, that was at two this afternoon and it's nearly midnight now so you have been in dreamland with the fairies for almost twelve hours. My name is Mary and I will be your nurse till eight in the morning, I'm going to go and get you something for your headache. No more yelling now ok?”
Just then Mummy came into the room with a cup of coffee in one hand and some sandwiches in the other. She put them down on the cabinet beside the bed and sat down beside me and put her arm around me. She had tears running down her cheeks and said, “Carla, I thought we had lost you when you didn't move in the wreck. The fire department had a new piece of equipment called the Jaws of Life. They used it to prize the door open to get you and Tony out of the front of the crushed car.”
“Mummy are you hurt? What about Tony and Helen?”
Mummy replied “Darling I'm fine. I have a bruise on my leg and Helen has a sprained wrist, but Tony is in intensive care and drugged out so I haven't been able to see him, but Isabella is with him. He has a broken leg and some internal injuries, but will recover and be ok according to the doctors here at the Mater Hospital.
“Mummy, Jean was here holding my hand before I woke up - I wish you could see her too. she looks so pretty in that gown she wears.”
“Darling, I think she has enough on her hands protecting you, don't you think?”
“Mummy what happened?”
“Well Tony had corrected the way the tyres had slipped on the wet tram tracks and the tram had stopped when that big truck just slammed straight into us.”
I said “I don't remember anything after I heard the crunching sound of metal and something warm running down the back of my head.”
“Carla, you lost quite a bit of blood by the time the paramedics got to you through the window of the car and stemmed the flow. They had to wait for the firemen to use that amazing tool to open the door to get you and Tony out and put you both on stretchers.”
“Tony was awake the whole time but the medics gave him a pain killing injection, He kept on saying “My God I’ve killed her.” because you were not moving, but the medics said you were just knocked out.”
“Mummy I'm wearing some kind of nappy, did the nurse put it on me?”
“ No sweetheart I did that. They were going to put a catheter in because they didn't know how long you would be out for, but I told them you had a serious bladder infection and didn't want to make it any worse, so I said I would look after you. The sister in charge wasn't too happy but she gave in and allowed me to stay with you.”
“Mummy, if the doctor sees I have got a willy they will call the police and arrest me!”
“Oh Carla they can't do that. Besides I got in touch with Rose and she has been in touch with the head nun who is also the administrator of the Mater.”
Just then Mary the nurse came back with my pain relief pills, “Here we are cutie pie this will stop that bad headache and let you get some sleep till morning.”
While I was taking the pills Mary looked at Mummy and said, “Could I speak to you outside for a moment Mrs White?”
Mummy replied “No nurse, you can discuss anything about my daughter in front of her. She is very intelligent and will know exactly what you want to talk to me about.”
“I'm sorry Mrs White I didn't mean - I mean I have a child a bit older than Carla and h--sh-she is the same as your daughter.”
“Look nurse Mary is it? Call me Donna. Err it looks like we have something in common doesn’t it?”
Mary said the nun in charge of this Hospital was well aware of kids with gender dysphoria and they were treating them in a special program set up by the hospital board and the Catholic Church.
She went on, “Doctor San-Lee is the doctor involved with this program, so I was not surprised when sister Bridget called me when I started my shift to look after Carla.”
Mummy smiled at me and said, “Carla you need to get some sleep now, I’m going to lay down on this stretcher they brought in for me earlier.”
I asked Mummy where Helen was and she said she was back at the hotel and will be here in the morning. She said “Get some sleep now. It's already one o'clock and I can't stay awake any longer.”
Mary came in every hour and checked my pulse and blood pressure. Jean was in my dreams as clear as a bell and we seemed to talk like it was the most normal thing to do. She told me not worry about Tony because he had a connection with Anna just like we did.
It was seven am in the morning when Mary came in and said she is about to finish her shift, but not to worry about the nurse that was on the day shift because she was a close friend and was informed about my little problem. She said she would see me at seven tonight because I would still be there one more night so they could make sure I was ok.
Mummy stayed to have a hospital breakfast with me before she went to see how Tony was getting on and go back the hotel to get cleaned up and come back with Helen.
She said, “Now don't you start to worry about anything while I'm away. I am going to ring Bill and Rita and let them know what happened.”
The day shift nurse came in to take my vital signs.
She said “G'day little one I'm Rachel and I'll be looking after you today. Let me have a look at that lump on the back of your head. It looks good, so you can get up and I'll help you in the shower”.
“Errr My Mum is coming back soon to help me with that.” I lied.
“It's alright luvy. Mary filled me in about your little plumbing problem.” she said. Because I had a concussion she had to watch that I didn't get giddy and fall over and hurt myself.
Rachel was just as nice as Mary and told me about Mary's transgendered daughter Sam and said she was going to bring her in that afternoon to meet me.
“You'll have to stay till tomorrow morning because that is a nasty bump on your head and Doctor San-Lee is coming in later to check you out before you go back to your home in the bush”
After the shower I got dressed in hospital gown and a dressing gown and was ready to go to where Tony was, Rachel didn't want to leave the ward so she got a young trainee nurse to take me in a wheel-chair down to where the ICU ward was.
The nurse said “Hello I’m Jan and I’ll take you down to see your friend.”
When we got to the ward where Tony was supposed to be he had been moved to a private room like the one I was in and it was down the corridor from the ICU unit. The door to his room was open and when Jan wheeled me in, there was Mummy, Helen and Bella talking with Tony. Jan said I could get out of the chair but to stay in the room.
Tony had his left leg in plaster up to his knee and looked like he was have trouble breathing.
He said “Come here sweetheart! and give me a careful hug. I have a bit of bruising in the chest but I 'll be ok in couple of weeks.”
I had tears running down my cheeks and gave him a gentle hug and kissed him on his cheek and dripped tears on his face. He kissed me back and said, “Oh Carla when I saw you in the cab not moving with blood all through your blond hair I thought I had killed you.” That started Mummy Helen and Bella sniffling and looking for the box of tissues that are in all the hospital rooms.
After about half an hour Jan came back to take me back to my room three levels up. I said 'bye to Tony and Bella, and asked what Mummy was going to do now. She said, “I'll come up to your room with Helen in a while, I have to make some calls and arrangements for us to get home on the weekend.” I was only back in bed for five minutes when Rose walked into the room and said, “My God child what have you been up to? You certainly know how to keep everyone on their toes don't you?”
That did it. The dam broke and I just started to sob and couldn’t stop. Rose came and held me in her arms and stroked my hair careful not to touch the stitches, “Oh sweetheart I wasn't going mad at you. I think this has all been a bit too much for you hasn't it?”
Once I was calm she said, “Carla, I have some good news for you and your Mum. My colleagues have agreed to take on your case and when we get sorted I'll be in touch.”
I said “Does that mean I can stay being a girl?”
“Well, seeing I have never seen a boy when I talk with you, - I guess that is exactly what it means, but you have to be very patient because it will take a long time to achieve the end result.”
I said, “Me and Jean can live with that.”
“You are a funny little thing aren’t you? We are going to get on fine if you keep making me laugh every time you say something.”
Just then Mummy and Helen came into the room and could see my tear stained face through my smile. Helen hadn't met Rose but said, 'isn't she a delight to be around?'
Mummy said “Rose, this is Helen a good friend of ours. She was in the car with us yesterday. That is why her wrist is in bandages.”
Rose said “I know that you want to get back home Donna, but we should keep Carla in one more night to make sure there are no after affects of her concussion. She can check out in the morning and you can get Jim Ryan to remove the stitches in a week.
Doctor Rose San-Lee said 'bye' and left. Mummy and Helen stayed and talked about things that were going on back home and I was getting bored with their conversation when someone knocked at the open door. They're supposed to be private rooms but the doors are never closed. Any wonder Mary told me not to yell like I did when I woke up.
Anyway Mary came in and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said “I’ve brought someone along for you to meet.” A shy girl was standing at the door she was about two years older than me, and she was quite pretty.
“Well come on Samantha, don't just stand there! Meet someone with the same problem as you."
The poor girl went bright red and gave me her hand and said, “Hello Carla. My Mum is a bit direct but she loves me and is helping me to be the person I need to be.”
I said, “Hi. I hope we can be friends and compare notes. I live a long way away so I can only see you when we come to Brisbane for my appointments with Rose.”
Samantha said “Well maybe we can see her at the same time as she's my doctor too.”
Mummy, Helen and Mary went to get themselves a cup of tea and left Sam and me to get know each other.
I said “I'm turning nine in June - how old are you?”
“I'll be eleven in September and next year the doctor said she is going give me something to stop me from going into boy puberty.”
“Well,” I replied “I hope she does that for me too because I can't even see anything in my little marble bag.”
We were still giggling when the ladies returned with sandwiches and soft drinks for us.
“Well it looks like we have two new girlfriends bonding doesn't it?” said Mary.
Well, all my visitors left, even Mummy as she went back to get our plane tickets for the trip home and said she would pick me up in the morning from the hospital to go straight to the airport.
Before she left I said “Are you coming to see me tonight before I have to go to sleep Mummy please?”
“Of course I will sweetheart, but I will go back to the hotel to pack up all the bags to put on the plane for our trip home.”
Mummy came back like she said she would, but only stayed for a short while and went back to pack our things.
Morning came and Mary was still there finishing her shift and came to say goodbye and said to stay in touch with her and Samantha and said we could talk by phone to stay in touch. Mummy turned up and said, “Ok girl, get your stuff and lets go.”
Mummy had brought my clothes to wear the previous night. It was my pink denim skirt with the red blouse and red sandals. I put a barrette on my head because that wouldn’t interfere with the stitches in the back of my head. Helen stayed with the cab while Mummy signed the discharge papers. Jan the nurse came with a wheelchair to take me down to to the cab.
I asked “Why the wheelchair?”
“Regulations dearie, just enjoy the ride ok?”
We got in the cab and arrived at the airport an hour before the flight was leaving for Charleville. Mummy said that Daddy would be there to pick us up and take us back to Quilpie and home.
To be continued
Next time two people that I don't really like are in Quilpie and going to make “trouble.”
Previously
Helen stayed with the cab while Mummy signed the discharge papers. Jan the nurse came with a wheelchair to take me down to the cab. I asked “Why the wheelchair?”
“Regulations dearie, just enjoy the ride,ok?”
We got into the cab and arrived at the airport an hour before the flight was to leave for Charleville. Mummy said that Daddy would be there to pick us up to take us back to Quilpie and home.
I slept during most of the flight to Charleville and didn't wake up till Mummy shook me awake to put my seat belt on for landing. I looked out of the small DC3 window to see the town of Charleville below and had a strange feeling that something was wrong - not with the plane, no - it was as if someone was going to cause trouble when we landed. I closed my eyes tightly and concentrated on Jean who was there immediately in my mind.
I asked her what was going to happen at the airport when we landed. I think I actually spoke out loud, so Mummy could hear my side of the conversation because she grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently and just listened to what I was saying. Jean said she would try to protect me from danger so not to worry.
I said “Yeah just like when the truck hit us in Brisbane hey?”
She said, “If I wasn’t there with you Carla you would be on this side with me now, so stop worrying. I'll be there to help you and Mummy too.”
We were about to land so I opened my eyes and Mummy said “What was that all about?”
I said, “Mummy be careful when we get of the plane and look for Daddy straight away. I think we might need him to stop someone from hurting us.”
“Carla, don't be silly who would want to hurt us in Charleville?”
“I don't know Mummy but Jean told me she was ready to help me if anything started to go wrong.
Helen was listening to our conversation and said “I think I know what it might be, Donna.”
Mummy said “Well you had better hurry up and tell me because we are about to get off the plane.”
Helen said “Just stay close to Carla till you can see Bill.”
We walked over to the building that was used as the airport terminal. It was really only a large shed converted into different areas for baggage, and counters for the buying of tickets. As we waited for the luggage to be unloaded from the plane and be brought into the baggage pick up area I spotted Daddy and Rita, with Ricky stand behind Rita.
All three came over to us and then all the hugging and kissing started.
“Wow” I said “Anyone would think we were gone for a whole year.”
Daddy said “Well, after your mother rang me and told me what happened when the taxi you were in got crushed by a large gravel truck I wondered if I would ever see any of you again.”
Rita said, “Good to have you back Sis, and look who came with us to pick you up.”
Ricky was busy still fussing about his Mum's bandaged wrist when I said, “Hey Rick what about me? I'm the walking wounded!”
Ricky quickly came over and hugged me so tight I could hardly breath. After I kissed him on the cheek he put me back down. I didn't realise just how strong boys are.
Ricky said “Gee Carla I'm so glad to have you back to talk to and hang out with.”
Daddy and Rick grabbed a trolley and loaded it up with the luggage and all our shopping that was done in Brisbane.
Rita said, “I hope there's some goodies in that lot for me?”
Mummy said, “Not a lot this time Rita, but your turn comes when Carla has her next appointment with Rose in a few weeks time.”
I said, “Don’t worry Sis, I got you some jewellery you'll like.”
As we were walking out Daddy was saying something to Mummy and Helen and they all had a serious look on their faces. I asked what the matter was and Daddy said, “James and your brother stayed at the caravan park last night and were asking where you were and someone obviously told them you'd be home today, but I think they might have come here as well, so stick close to me when we get to the car park.”
This is what Jean tried to warn me about before we landed and I quickly asked her in my mind, “Jean I think I might need you.”
She was in my mind and she said she was always there so don't worry. It was getting easy for me to communicate with her every day which is what she told me days before.
We got to the car park to a mini bus that Daddy owned and rented out to other people for school excursions and things. Every thing was loaded into the van and we were ready to climb in when.......
“Hey!! I want to talk to you.” The voice sent shivers down my spine as I looked around. It was James White my real dad walking up to Bill my adopted dad and I could see my brother follow close behind. I thought 'Oh no! This is going to get ugly.'
Me, Ricky, Mummy and Helen were all on one side of the van and Daddy was on the driver's side when James (I won't call him dad any more) and John walked right up to Daddy and gave him a shove into the side of the van. Well that did it. Daddy grabbed both of them by their shirts and sat them on the ground and stood with his fist closed and said, “Listen you pair of fucking dickheads. If either of you come anywhere near Donna, Rita, or Carla again I'll break your fuckin' legs do you hear me?
James got up slowly and said 'Carl is a boy” as he was looking at me in disgust.
Mummy said, “How would know or even care about your daughter? If you took me to Brisbane when you were supposed to when I was due we would have both twin girls with us now. Anyway you took off with that assistant cook, so you will get the divorce papers served as soon as my lawyer has them ready.
Just then John stood up and started to walk towards me with a clenched fist. I closed my eyes and thought 'This is it I’m about to die' when I heard a thump, - Ricky was sitting on top of my much bigger brother John and punching him in the face, saying “Carla's my best friend and no one is ever going to hurt her while I’m around especially a prick like you!!”
Someone must have called the police because I looked around and saw a policeman standing next to Daddy, and he said “Wow kid, you sure know how to protect your girlfriend here don't you?”
Helen said “That's my boy. You should see what would have happened if Peter my older son was here.”
The policeman said, “Yeah, well I better sort this out before someone gets really hurt.”
After about half an hour of claims and counter claims it seemed to fizzle out and James and brother John were told to leave or be arrested for assault, which did the trick. I didn't see them again till years later. It turned out James wanted half of Mummy's insurance money and he really didn't care about me or Rita. Anyway good riddance to bad rubbish.
After the policeman wrote a bit of stuff in his note pad, he asked Daddy what it was all about and if he wanted him to contact the police in Quilpie to keep an eye out for any trouble, but Daddy said he could handle any shit that that idiot could throw at him.
We all bundled into the van and Daddy drove to a service station to refill the tank and let everyone go to the toilet before the three hour trip home along the Diamantina Highway which was mostly gravel and dusty. Mummy sat next to Daddy and was chatting to him about what happened In the car park. Rita and Helen sat in the middle seat and me and Ricky were in back seat of the mini bus.
Ricky was holding my hand and said “I was going to kill that stupid brother of yours. I was so angry when I saw that he was going to hit you Carla.”
“Well I'm glad you took him by surprise because he is twice your size and would have really hurt you if he had the chance.”
Daddy pulled up at a small service station at a place called Cooladi which is the half way mark to Quilpie, and he said “Right Ladies and Gentlemen, toilet break and fuel top up and home.” Mummy took over the driving for the rest of the trip to give Daddy a break.
Me, Rita, and Ricky slept the rest of the way to Quilpie. It was six o'clock in the afternoon when Helen shook Ricky and me awake and said “Come on sleepy heads. Let's get my bags out of the back so these people can get home.”
Peter and his dad came out of the house to greet Helen and carry her things into their house. Pete gave her a hug and opened the back of van and said “Mum which lot is yours?”
She said, “Hang on son let me hug and kiss your dad first.”
Barry said “God woman, I’ve missed you.”
“Yeah and my cooking I bet” she replied.
Pete said “Mum which bags?”
“Ok - ok! My suitcase and the new red one that I bought to fill with all the clothes and shoes I got for you lot.
Barry said, “Is any money left in the bank account after this lot?”
“It's about time the moths of your wallet were let out, Barry,” Helen said with a laugh.
Ricky gave me one more hug for luck and said “See ya later girlfriend.”
I blushed and kissed him on the cheek. “You can bet on it.” I replied.
Rita said 'bye to Pete, and Daddy said “Come on you lot, the barbecue is waiting to be used. I am hungry enough to eat a horse.”
We arrived home ten minutes later and piled out of the van and lined up to go to the toilet. We left the unpacking of the van and helped Mummy in the kitchen to make a salad while Daddy lit up the barbecue to get it hot enough to cook the rump steaks. Rita and Mummy brought the salad and drinks out to the table on the verandah while I helped cook the steaks with Daddy.
Mummy said, ”You know Carla I think my cooking is better than any hotel ''food''. What you reckon kid?”
Rita and Daddy both said at the same time, “Hoy, what about us?”
“Me and Dad run the restaurant with Linda's help without any complaints.” said Rita.
“Speaking of the restaurant, who's running it tonight? It's Saturday and it will be busy.”said Mummy.
Daddy replied, “Linda helped Rita prepare a lot of food yesterday so the menu will be a bit different tonight - besides I hired a young sixteen year old aboriginal girl from the mission to give the kid some hope in life. She is a real nice kid and gets on with everyone really well.”
“I hope you don't mind Donna? The way the restaurant is performing you will need all the help you can get. Even the people from in town are coming to eat there.”
Mummy said “Bill sweetheart, what you did for that girl is exactly what I would have done. By the way, what's the girl's name and where is she going to stay?”
“Well at the moment she and her Mum are staying in one of my caravans. The girls father was
white and didn't come home from the war in Korea. He married her Mum before he left but he never saw his daughter, Donna!” and Daddy was starting to tear up.
Mummy went to him and while she held him said, “Bill darling, this is why I fell in love with you so quickly in the first place. You're such a softy — now tell me their names.”
Daddy said, “Greg Thomson was his name, a Sergeant in the army, her Mum is Jenny and the girls name is Alice,-- a pretty little thing with the race mix.
Rita said, “Yeah Mum she's a great help on the tables, and the customers really like her too.”
“Ok,” said Mummy “Meal time, showers and by that time it'll be almost time for bed.” As she said that she was looking at Daddy with a big grin on her face.”
Daddy waggled his eyebrows at her and said, “Honey you don't want to unpack the van first then?”
Well - it was an early night all round and tomorrow was another day.
It was Sunday morning and we were going to go to church because Daddy is Catholic and has always gone to church all his life, but more so after his son Paul committed suicide. We loved Daddy so it was not a problem to go to church with him. Besides Ricky and his family go to the same church.
Mummy had a shower early with Daddy of course. I wonder why Mummy always squeals in the shower!!! Never mind, don't answer that! Anyway they unpacked the van and all the stuff was put into one of the spare bedrooms to be sorted out when we got home from church.
Me and Rita had our shower "no squealing" and towels wrapped around us we ran back to the bedroom to get dressed. Being girls we said at the same time “What will I wear?” That's when the giggling started and every time we looked at each other it started us off again. We stopped when Mummy yelled “Come and get it.” We weren’t dressed so we grabbed the summer dressing gowns and and snuck into the kitchen and sat down hoping Mummy didn't notice that we weren’t dressed yet.
All of a sudden there was a loud bang right behind us and Rita and me jumped up almost falling of our chairs. Daddy had busted a balloon and thought it was funny and so did Mummy, I didn't get the joke,-- seeing I nearly pee'd my panties. Rita obviously did because she ran from the room saying 'bugger!!'.
Mummy said, “Right Bill it's seven o'clock now. If there are any more games we will not get to go to church this morning and it will be your fault.
“Aww Donna I was just having a bit of fun.”
“What time is the second service this morning Bill?”
“There’s none - it's in the afternoon at five o'clock.”
“Well that's when we will be going then, won't we?” said Mummy.
Daddy said, “The girls will never be ready to go this morning anyway,”
“Says the man unshaven in shorts and sweat shirt.” replied Mummy.
I said “What about the Smiths? Can I ring Ricky and tell him not to go to church till this afternoon?”
“Well Carla luv, I'll tell you what, seeing it's my fault we are running too late to go this morning. I'll ring Barry right now and ask him if they can hold off going till this afternoon as well.”
Just then, Rita walked in dressed in jeans and tan top and wearing flip flops on her feet, and said “I'm not going to church Dad. You made me jump and pee my pants.
Just as Daddy was about go to his office, Mummy walked back into the kitchen and said “Where do think your going?”
“To ring Barry about something”----
“Too late darling, I just talked to Helen. Church this afternoon. They are as bad as us this morning”
'Great' I thought 'I can have a lazy day' when Mummy said “Lets get breakfast over with and we can sort out the stuff we brought home from Brissi”
“Ok!! fashion show,” replied Rita.
Daddy got up and said “That's my cue to go and sort out some stuff with Henry at the garage.”
He gave us all a kiss on the top of the head and was just about to leave when Mummy said, “Hoy! You come back here a minute.”
Daddy walked over as Mummy stood up and said “I love you Bill” and gave him a really long passionate kiss while me and Rita both rolled our eyes and started giggling again.
Daddy walked out with a spring in his step and said “Back later girls.” It looks like he has accepted me and Rita as his daughters which makes me feel completely girly and I love every minute of it. As I've said before, there is no way that I’m a boy and never was.
“Right,” said Mummy “Lets clear this mess off the table and then we can get down to business.”
Rita was duly impressed with the quality of the clothes Mummy got at the the second-hand clothes shop and said “Mum I want to go there when we go to Brisbane - is it far from the hotel?”
Mummy replied, “No just a hop, skip, and a jump Rita. But I think we might have an invite to stay with Tony and Bella when we go to Brisbane again.”
Rita said,” Aww and how far is that from the shop?”
“Well actually it's closer than the hotel, because I wondered why Tony was always so quick to be there to pick us up when we rang him.”
“Oh wow, I must remember to take an extra bag when we go.”,said Rita.
“No Darling, we'll travel light next time and buy some new suitcases and fill them up with lots of goodies. We'll have to see if we can make a dent in that insurance money of mine.”
Mummy then said that it was really only going to cost her for travel and accommodation when we went to Brisbane because Doctor Rose San-Lee's bills were covered by the study thingy.
Anyway, after I showed Rita all my new stuff she went through the things I got for her when we were shopping at the big department store before I had to go and see Rose.
She hugged me and said "Thanks Sis. I'm glad you're my little sister. I hope that doctor in Brisbane can make sure you stay that way.”
“Well,”I said, “If she can't than I would rather be with Jean.”
“Don't say that Carla - you're starting to freak me out with that stuff.”
“Don't worry Sis, Jean is right here with me and can hear every thing that is being said.”
Rita said “I wish I could communicate with her too, because I’m her sister too you know.”
I replied “When it is all quiet tonight before we go to sleep, why don't we both concentrate and see what happens when we hug real tight? It might work.
Mummy said “Ok girls, seeing we've got a few hours before we have to get ready to go to church, lets clean this place up.
“Yes Mummy” we both said with a sigh.
To be continued
Next time: The Priest wants to speak with me and Mummy in private.
Footnote.--- I would like to dedicate this story in memory of my dear older sister Rita (her real name) who passed away eighteen months ago while I held her hand. She supported me till the day she died. Rita I miss you so.
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