The information displayed below, is only accurate through what has been published to date. I will update it (if I remember) as new information is revealed in the story.
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Year 5 | Legend | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Staff | Other | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Other characters in the school (or even some on this list) appear in Karen's Character List.
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
"I always love being up here Mom. The view of Athens is so breathtaking."
"Yes, it certainly is. Your father and I wanted to come up here one more time before we were off to London."
"It's been fun here, though a bit lonely since Kirk moved back to live with grandpa and grandma last year."
“I know, son. It has been quieter. I’m sure you’ll make new friends at Westminster, the English public school you’ll be attending, when we get there in another month."
"The kids in the Embassy school say it's really different from our schools in the states, like the one I was in when we lived in Naples."
"The materials are mostly the same. Though, you'll find history will be different, since it is British history and not ours, but otherwise, you'll do fine."
"I can deal with those differences Mom. It's just remembering which classes are which days I'm worried about."
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there honey. Let's go catch up with your dad. He's usually over on the other side looking down over the Temple of Zeus."
"I've loved walking through history here! It's almost as much fun as we had wandering through Pompeii and Ercolano."
"Do you remember the mosaic you made on your wall?"
I laughed at that. "Mom, dad almost killed me when he saw it! How could I forget?"
She laughed. "No, he was upset, but that was never going to happen. Your brother got into more trouble for encouraging you. Things certainly have been quieter this past year."
"Hey Dad. How come you always wanna look at that old temple?"
"Hi Danny. It's not just that. It's the precision the ancients were able to achieve, and how the Greeks have been able to recover so many of their antiquities. It just helps me keep things in perspective. We really come from a new country as far as the world is concerned. Many of the things we think we've invented really come from other places, like democracy."
I cringed in mock terror. "Okay, Dad."
That broke his serious mood. "Okay. No lectures today. We're here to see the sites one more time, then we'll go and have dessert on Syntagma Square."
"Ohhh. I want some Kataifi! I can't believe it'll be available in London."
"You never know, but fresh is always best." He said, as we started our climb down from the Acropolis.
I'm really glad it's not as high as the one in Corinth! That was a brutal climb. These Greek temples all seem to look alike though. The Pantheon, which we saw in Rome, was different, but kinda boring. It just was a dark building surrounded by offices or apartments. Okay, it had a great big dome and was supposedly hard to build but still… I really don't see why my folks kept dragging me around to see all those churches and these temples. Pompeii, now that was different. Imagine a city buried and hidden by a volcano. Was that neat or what? I wonder if there's a castle we can visit that's like Hogwarts. Maybe my school... Nah, I’m not going away to school. I'd get to be home again. Though with dad gone to meetings all the time and both of them being off to parties, it’s not that much fun at home. Maybe I'll finally be able to find a friend. All this moving, ours and kids from other embassies, has made it tough. I don't know how Kirk managed.
"Hey Danny, are you going to wake up and get your dessert?"
"Wha ... Sorry Dad, I was daydreaming." I got my Kataifi. "It's too bad we'll not see the guard change one more time. Those guys are amazing."
"Remind me to take you by the tomb of the unknown on a visit to DC sometime Danny. The Sentinels may not have as unusual a uniform, but they have a very impressive ceremony. The Marine Barracks at 8th and I also have a drill team that's worth seeing." He was quiet a moment. "I think you'll like seeing the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace."
"You mean they actually do that? It's not just in the silly song?"
"No Danny. The pageantry is quite impressive, and sometimes humorous. Now, what was the story the Sergeant was saying about it. Oh yes. You recall Sergeant Magruder, right?"
"Yes sir. You got him to take me on a tour of the embassy right after we moved here. He's also the guy that arranged for me to take the judo classes with Private Ramsey."
"Hmm. I'd forgotten that, but, yes that's the one. Apparently he's a MacGregor by descent, and he was telling a tale about the former chieftain of the clan, Brigadier Sir Gregor of MacGregor. He was mounted just in front of the massed pipe bands, and apparently his horse let off with a loud one. He called 'Sorry about that pipers.' And the Pipe Major replied, 'That's all right sir. We thought it was the horse!'"
Dad laughed pretty hard at that, and I guess it was kinda funny. "So they have horses and pipe bands? Sounds like a parade."
"To hear others talk about it, it does sound like it."
"I can't wait." I gave a sigh.
"You'll find friends there Danny. Remember, they all speak English there, so language shouldn't be a barrier. They also tell me my posting may be longer this time."
"That'd be good. Do you think we'll be able to find me a piano teacher again Dad?"
"Don't worry, Danny. I'm sure that'll be no problem."
It'11 be nice to not have to work through language again. I mean I loved playing, but some of the teachers we'd found were not fun.
"Well, we'd best get back now and make an early night of it tonight. We have an early flight in the morning."
"George, do you think we were right sending Kirk back to live with my folks?"
I don't think my folks knew I was awake, but when I heard my brother's name, I could almost feel my ears perk up. Maybe I'd finally find out why he wasn't with us now.
"I do Lyd. He really needs four solid years of High School before going to college. We don't want him to have to need remedial work like Karen did."
"That wasn't all her fault. Most schools really are not equipped to handle kids with her issues, and with her wanting to get through most of it without meds. That just made it harder."
"I know, but it still happened, and she's only now entering Harvard. Georgie had issues too when he hit Stanford, after schooling overseas all his life. I don't want Kirk going through what our first two did."
"But what about Danny? He's always had Kirk to look out for him and give him someone to talk to."
"I know he's our baby, but you seem not to have noticed how much he grew this spring and summer. I just noticed it myself yesterday climbing the Acropolis. If that keeps up, he'll no longer be the class shrimp and won't need a big brother watching out for him. As it is, the only times he's ever gotten in scrapes was when he was helping someone else. I doubt he'll get into fights like Georgie did, either. He reminded me yesterday about his judo classes. That will probably serve him well, even if he does get into a scrape."
"How fast they grow up. I guess we'll be doing some shopping when we get there, and altering his pants."
"Do you think you'll still need to do that? I'd forgotten."
"Maybe not, but he's not complained so I suspect I'll still be taking in the waist a couple of inches. I bet there are some girls that would die to have his hips!"
What's wrong with my hips? Unlike a buncha my classmates I've never had to worry about having my pants pulled down on the playground. The one time a guy tried, and he knocked me down instead! That was a laugh! He really caught it for knocking me over. The other guys he'd done it to all really had a good laugh at his expense. I'd best look around for some other jeans and slacks. Maybe there's a way mom won't have to do all that work.
"Don't say that where he can hear it! All we need is to give him something to worry about."
"Don't worry. Last time, I just told him we were making sure they fit better and were more comfortable with his belt. He seemed happy with it. In a way, it's a good thing, with those hips, he'll never be able to get away with that sloppy style where boy's wear their jeans half way down their hips so their underpants show out the top."
"That's a relief. I'd be embarrassed for him to walk into the embassy like that, though I'm sure worse has happened."
"But, back to my concerns. Without Kirk around, he'll be alone occasionally and not have anyone he knows in the school."
"I wouldn't worry. It's not like they don't speak English there. I'm sure there are some small differences like the color / colour thing, but he'll do fine. He's always aware of what's going on around him. Remember last year during the security review?"
"How could I forget? They were afraid he was a security risk because he seemed to show up without folks realizing he'd come into the room. The review officer said he must be unusual in some way, because he was observed to hear more than one bit of sensitive information and despite efforts to draw him out, both active and passive, they were not able to find any hints that he'd leaked anything or bragged about knowing any of it. He was even aware of the President's scheduled visit, and didn't do anything to even put himself in a place where he might run into the man. I mean how many twelve year olds could have done that, much less not bragged about it to his friends!"
"I know but, I fear for that too. Maybe that's one of the things that bother me. Maybe just being around the embassy and hearing things he knows he shouldn't share is one of the things that keep him from making friends."
Is that why I don't make friends? I don't think so. It's more a not wanting to lose them, and not really knowing anyone well enough to trust that far. That, and folks get creeped out when I answer their questions too fast.
"I'd never thought of that Lyd. Well, we'll deal with it somehow. He's a good kid. He’s been brought up with good manners. Maybe with more kids his own age in the school, he'll have more opportunity to make friends."
"We can hope George."
"Hi Mom. I survived another day at school."
"Survived Danny?"
"Yes Mom. I mean, I only got lost twice. I think some of the kids get a kick out of telling me the classes are somewhere else, or it's a different schedule or something. Most of the kids aren't bad though. It's just different not having the same classes every day. Oh, did you know our Revolutionary War is all but ignored over here?"
"Really?"
"Yes Mom. I was asking about it, but the other kids kept talking as if it were no big deal. It was as if it was just something that happened in the colonies, and wasn't really interesting. They touched on a few points in my history class, but not the real issues I’ve heard about before from you and dad, as well as in school."
"Well, I guess I can understand that. Take a look at it from their viewpoint. You’re probably studying the colonial period from their viewpoint now, rather than ours."
"Sorta, but only in passing. We're mostly talking about stuff here and on the continent. Frederick the Great was more important to them apparently."
"I'm glad you're enjoying that aspect of school. I'm sure the misdirections will stop soon."
"Yea, I think I've about gotten this schedule figured out. Oh, and get this. Instead of pre-algebra for a class, it’s called 'maths’. It's got the same name whether it's algebra, geometry or whatever. I don't think they split them up like you said they do back home."
"I'd heard that. You'll end up covering the same stuff. Don't worry there."
"Oh I'm not Mom. It's just fun learning. Can I use the computer tonight? I've got some research I need to do for history."
"Sure, have fun."
Well, maybe I'll be able to look up some sort of English-to-American dictionary. This is frustrating. I kept hearing words I know and discovering they meant something else. It wasn't the main ones. It was things like trainers. Here I'd had sneakers all my life and was wearing some, and when the coach said everyone needed to make sure they had trainers I sure felt silly asking what they were. Well, I'll get by. At least I knew what they were talking about when they said football. Sheesh, I'd been living outside the states like forever. Though I'll never be great at it, at least I can run faster than some of those jocks. I wonder if I can find someone to help me keep up with my Judo.
"Oh, Mom, any luck finding a piano teacher?"
"Not yet, but we have been able to find a nice piano for you to practice on. It's being delivered tomorrow."
"That's great Mom! I've missed it."
"I know, Honey. We're all still trying to figure things out. It'll come together. And, once it's here, I expect to hear you playing! Your serenades are always a pleasure to my ears."
"Mooom."
"You've gotten pretty good you know. Nothing like the five year old finding his own teacher eight years ago."
"Thanks. I'll go study now."
I hope we can find a teacher. I know I could be doing better. Mr. Martini was so good. I just wish that Ms. Dromikos had been able to help me compose. Well, she did keep me working so that's a good thing.
The next few weeks went fairly peacefully. I settled into school, got a piano instructor and even found a dojo. Things weren't perfect, but it was okay. Without the practice, I wasn't ready to test yet, which was okay by me.
I didn't think I was ready anyway. At least they confirmed my brown belt. I was worried that Private Ramsey's evaluation wasn't accurate. The biggest issue was my piano teacher. He'd said yesterday that he wasn't good enough to really challenge me. He could help me maintain where I was and refine my technique a little, but I really needed better instruction to excel. Maybe Ms. Dromikos wasn't that bad, just unwilling to admit where her limitations were. We'll see.
I caught myself thinking about things all over the place and it took some doing to bring my concentration back to my homework. It wouldn't do to start mucking that up.
I wonder what the special testing scheduled for next week is all about. Well, mom says I'd have been having testing every year back in the states so I guess it's nothing special.
I caught myself drifting again, and buckled down to studying.
The next morning, I saw a smaller kid with long hair getting pushed around by some of the upper year jocks. "Hey guys. That's not needed."
"Bug off, Yank. This ain't none of your business"
"It is if I make it mine. Now lay off. There's no reason to be pushing a little kid around."
"The kids a crook. All orphans like her are crooks or worse!"
It was a girl? I guess it could have been. The hair was long enough. Nearly everyone had longer hair than I did. Must have been the influence of all the marines.
"Enough guys. Besides she's gone now."
"Wha... Damn that kid got away. You stay out of our way, Yank. We don't like folks that interfere with their betters. You're new, so we'll let you off this time but don't let it happen again."
As she'd gotten away, I figured there was no benefit in continuing the confrontation so I backed away.
Never turn your back to a potential assailant if it can be avoided! Oh well, it was too much to hope that this kinda thing wouldn't go on here too.
Later in the halls, the girl slid over to me and said "Thanks, but you shouldn't have. Those guys are bad news. They're all from rich families. Sticking up for me coulda gotten you in big trouble. Just mind your own business in the future." Then she was gone before I could say anything. Well I could have, but she wasn't close enough to do so without others hearing. Oh well, maybe another day.
As it turns out, I didn't see her again. At first, I wasn't surprised, but eventually it was obvious she wasn't around the school any more. I guessed she had moved on.
They had this big exam a week or two later. I guess the other kids were as surprised as I was. I'd figured it was a normal thing, except for folks saying something new. Apparently they almost didn't let me take it, ‘cause it was this government thing, but I guess they changed their mind and let me sit for it. It was almost fun, the wide ranging questions they asked. From mom's comments, I'd figured there would be individual sections on specific topics, but this was all mixed up. And, that essay on "what is school." That was strange. I figured I should say what it should be, rather than what it is.
The event the previous week with the harassment probably influenced that, but hey, who knows, maybe I'll pass through on originality.
After that, it was back to the grindstone. Once I got used to the schedule, classes were about as easy as I'd gotten used to. Oh well. At least I could look up extra stuff on the internet. I just couldn’t bring it up in class, especially when it contradicted the text. Whoa, that was a mistake I'd made once, never again! One thing I've not liked seeing is what looks like harassment targeted at some of the smarter kids. So far I'd not been singled out. I guess I was bigger than many in my year, and that helped. But some of the other kids that seemed to enjoy school were catching it pretty regularly.
About two weeks after the exam, I got a letter "To the Parents/Guardians of Dan James Humphrey". I wondered what it could be about. Well, I'd find out when I got home.
"Mom, how come jocks tend to harass the brains?"
She looked up at me, I guess wondering where that came from. "Danny?"
"I've noticed over the past few weeks that some of the smart kids seem to get picked on pretty regularly, especially after they've aced a test or such in class."
"One reason they might do that Danny, is that they don't want to work hard enough to do well themselves, so if they encourage the kids that do to do lesser work, some teachers will end up curving the grades, and making it easier to pass. In your school, it's more likely that those kids are there on scholarship and the boys harassing them feel they shouldn't be there."
"That's stupid Mom."
"Yes it is son, but some people act that way. There are other reasons some folks don't do as well as they could. It's not uncommon for girls to hide their intelligence, because most boys are afraid of smart girls. If you've not seen it yet, you will probably over the next few years. Maybe that doesn't happen here in the UK, but it has everywhere else we've been."
"Mom, aren't there schools where that doesn't happen?"
"Completely? Not that I'm aware of, but there are some that are better than others. A lot has to do with school traditions and overall environment, as well as the background of the kids. For example, private schools, or as they refer to them over here public schools, like the one you're in, tend to have less of it, since parents are not happy if their kids mess up when they're paying so much for the privilege to attend. It's more common in the State schools, what we'd call public, since they're free. But, once bullying or harassment issues get into a school it's really hard to get it out. It doesn't seem to matter whether it's a private or public school. It's even in stories of schools. Look at those Harry Potter stories."
I nodded, "But, a school like that would be awesome Mom."
She laughed. "Yes, but you're not adopted so I don't think you're a wizard." She brushed the hair from my forehead, "Nope, no scar."
I laughed at that one. "Thanks Mom. I guess I just wish this were one of the good schools then."
I saw a worried look on her face. "Don't worry Mom. I'll study. They're leaving me alone now."
"Okay. But, it's a mother's prerogative to worry." She looked at me carefully as she asked "So, are you running into any issues in your classes?"
"Not unless you count spelling... I keep getting tripped up over the simplest words. So far, they're cutting me some slack, but I suspect sooner or later, they'll expect me to remember."
"That's true dear. You'll get used to it."
"By the way Mom, I got some really funny looks when I asked what kind of curve the teachers used. Apparently they don't have them over here. Oh and Mom, I got a letter for you and dad from the school today."
"That's interesting. Well, we knew there were differences. Let's see the letter." Opening it and skimming the letter she said, "Hmmm. Interesting. Apparently that test you took two weeks ago was a qualifying test. You've been invited to take a second test to get into a special school for the gifted."
"What kinda test?"
"It doesn't say. But, if you like, I'll give you permission. If you get in, we can look at the school and see if it's nicer than this one." She said as she signed the permission slip. "The name of this school sounds familiar. Well never mind. Here you go."
"Thanks Mom."
The next day I looked around the testing room. Hmm, there was a surprise; one of the Jocks was in here too. I guess his mates didn't know he was smart, I thought to myself smiling. The rest of the kids were mostly the ones I'd expected. I sat down, to what was the weirdest test I'd ever seen. It was as if there were no right or wrong answers. I was glad this was all we had to do today, as I was a bit wiped out from trying to answer the questions honestly. I mean, what's the right answer between what I'd prefer to do 'carve a bird from soap' or 'build a book case’. I sat there a few minutes when I was done before indicating I was finished to the proctor. He wrote something down, and motioned for me to remain seated, which I found a bit surprising, but relieving all the same. I just sat there and rested, not paying attention to the others.
Eventually he said "Time's up. Please put down your pens and close your answer books. Mr. Humphrey, could you please wait a moment after I take them up?" He collected our exams, and put them in a envelope which he sealed and then dismissed us. I took my time getting up.
"Yes sir?"
"Were you giving up there Mr. Humphrey?"
"No sir. I was just indicating that I'd finished all the questions." He gave me a sharp look before he nodded. "All right then,off with you." As I was walking out, he made another note on the outside of the envelope, and then he left, as well.
After leaving the room, I noticed two of the other guys huddled together, surrounded by a bunch of the bigger kids. It was the same scene that had taken place a few weeks ago with that girl, lit looked like the same group of bullies too. I sighed and started pushing my way in on one side. "Hi Chris” I said to one of the kids.
"Buzz off, Yank. We told you to not interfere before."
Yep, same guys, same imaginative vocabulary.
"What's to interfere with?" I said as I eased the two over keeping attention on me by continuing the dialog with the guy I perceived to be the leader. I was a little nervous, but I'd heard some of the marines talking techniques used in cutting people out of a crowd and was trying my best. It seemed to be working until one of the other guys reached out to grab my arm. When I blocked his grab, two others started and then it was defend myself or who knows.
By the time some teachers showed up, several of the guys were on the ground books and papers were everywhere. While I'd taken a bunch of punches I was still standing in my crouch.
Glancing around, I could see the two kids had gotten off somewhere. That was good. I'd been so busy I couldn't tell. With the teachers there, the bullies pulled back, the leader saying "you shouldn't a started things, Yank." He was quieted down by the teachers, and we were all marched down to the Head's office. They muttered among themselves along the way. The head briefly talked to all of them, and then to me. I guess I was held back ‘cause it was apparent they'd all been fighting me.
"Well Mr. Humphrey, what have you got to say for yourself?"
"I'm not sure I understand, sir."
"What possessed you to pick a fight with a lot of other kids at once? You apparently know how to handle yourself in such a fight, but we don't tolerate this kind of behavior in our school. They said you'd tried to pick a fight with them once before, but they restrained themselves. Maybe the board made a mistake in admitting you to Westminster. Do you have anything to say in your defense Mr. Humphrey?"
"I don't know, sir. I certainly didn't start that fight. I was just defending myself."
"Why do I have difficulty believing that when every one of them said you'd started it?"
"I'm not lying sir. I poked myself into..."
He interrupted me. "You admit to pushing yourself into their discussion when you weren't wanted, just like they said. Why is it you Americans always seem to think you belong in the center of things? If you weren't the son of a diplomat, I'd chuck you out of the school today. As it is, I'm putting you on probation, and adding that information to your file. I don't want to see any more similar behavior out of you Mr. Humphrey. Now, sit out there, while I contact your parents."
Wow. I wondered what I'd gotten myself into. And the head wasn't even willing to hear me out. I hoped Chris and James had gotten away before the fists started swinging. I knew my folks wouldn't be happy with me. I'd had to promise to not get into fights in order to take the lessons, and here I'd unintentionally broken my promise. Guess that's over.
While I was waiting, Chris came into the outer office looking really nervous. "You okay Danny?"
"Sorta. I'll probably have a few bruises."
"Thanks for getting us out of there. I don't know how you did it though."
"I don't like folks getting bullied, Chris. I couldn't stand there and watch, or go hide from it like Billy did."
"Billy's pretty smart, but he's gotta play with them on the field, and his dad works for one of theirs. He's gotta keep a low profile."
"Glad you two got out though. You'd best get out before the head decides you need probation too."
He looked at me with big eyes. "You got probation? They started it!"
"That's not what they said, and the Head took their story."
Chris gulped, and went over to knock on the Head's door. I wondered what he was going to do. Apparently the Head called him in. A bit later, the Head came to the door, and beckoned me over.
"Well, Mr. Humphrey. Chris here tells me an interesting story…" I didn't know how to respond to that, so I kept quiet. "…and, I'd take it as that, if he'd not been the student that got the teacher's attention to interrupt your altercation. I'm still not sure I want to take his story, as we've not had any trouble from those boys before, but I will. How were you able to get Chris out of their ring?"
I noticed that he'd just said Chris, so I guess Chris hadn't told him that James was there too, or Billy for that matter. "I listened to marines talking about taking people out of crowds and such, at my dad's last posting. At the time, it was the only thing I could think of sir."
"Care to explain how one twelve year old boy could think he could take on eight others who were mostly bigger than he was?"
"Umm. I've had a little training sir. But that's probably going to end now, since I got in that fight."
"Training, as in martial arts?" At my nod he continued. "I don't see how a little training there could have done it, but I agree that if you're going to feel like you can push others around that training should stop."
I hung my head. I knew I wasn’t trying to push anyone around. I was just trying to protect someone that couldn’t protect himself. It probably didn’t really matter. I knew my folks would be disappointed. I guess I'd not test after all now. Well, I could continue to do my kata anyway. I was sure they wouldn't want me to give up the exercise too.
"I'm going to leave you on probation. No matter the provocation, fighting is not acceptable. I will change the letter I was going to put into your files to indicate the reason behind the fight, but the letter still goes into your records. I'll also explain this to your mother when she gets here in another fifteen minutes or so."
"Thank you sir. I'm sorry for the trouble."
He nodded at me, and turned to Chris. "That was good of you to stand up for your friend, and let me know what actually happened out there. You made the right decision in going for a teacher rather than trying to handle things on your own. Good luck." Chris took off at that, looking pretty sheepish. I guess he felt bad getting praised for running.
It felt like forever, but was probably the quarter hour the head had indicated when my mom got there. She did NOT look happy when she saw me sitting there! "DAN JAMES HUMPHREY, I don't know what got into..." she started, and not too quietly either.
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see the Head open his door at that. "Ahh, Mrs. Humphrey, just a moment before you take your son home. There are some new details that have come up since I talked to you on the phone."
I could see she wasn't any happier, but she restrained her temper. "Was it worse?"
"Not exactly Mrs. Humphrey. It seems your son had some extenuating circumstances. While this doesn't excuse his action, it may ameliorate it. Hopefully he'll learn from the experience."
"Extenuating? What can possibly justify fighting in the school?"
"I share your concern there, and that's why he will remain on probation for the remainder of the term. But it appears he spotted what he believed to be a group of students giving another a hard time and tried to intervene. As I've counseled him, it's not his duty to do this. He should have gotten a teacher, which is actually what the kid he intervened to help did once the fight started."
I stood quietly again. I think my mom was cooling down again. I hoped so, anyway. "Your son indicated he was able to take on eight other boys in a fight, or at least he believed he could anyway, because of some martial arts training he's received. While we generally encourage that kind of study since it helps instill self discipline, perhaps the limited training he's received hurt, more than helped there."
Mom looked at him there and didn't correct his assumption. "I quite agree that using martial arts to fight with others is inappropriate." I was sure now that this was the end of lessons for now.
"As I've told your son, fighting is not tolerated, and despite what he believed to be provocation, he was in the wrong. A letter to this effect, including his justification will be added to his permanent school record."
"Thank you. Is there anything else?"
"No, you may take your son home. We expect to see him again tomorrow." He turned to me. "Keep your nose clean son. To date, your teachers have had nothing but praise for the quality of your work, despite a different background before coming to our school."
I nodded, and followed my mom out of the office. In the hall I started "Mom, it's..."
She interrupted. "We'll talk about it tonight with your father. This is not place for it and I don't want you to have to go through it twice."
"Okay Mom." If she was bringing dad in, I guess I was really in for it. I wondered what Sensi would say this afternoon. I could guess it would be bad, if I went that is. I wondered if mom would even let me go.
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
Well, as it turned out, she did let me go to judo. I guess until things were decided, the normal schedule was on.
I walked into the Gym, and got ready. When I got to the mat, something in my posture or body language gave me away because Sensei called me out. We went to another area, where I'd seen him take other students for counseling sessions.
"You are disturbed."
"Yes, Sensei. Today I fought."
"You have mixed feelings on this do you not?"
"Yes, Sensei. I didn't start the fight, and only fought to defend myself, but I am still being punished for it."
"Had you to do that which caused the fight again, would you have done it?"
"Yes, Sensei, I was..."
He interrupted me. "Why, is not currently the question." I subsided and took a deep breath. "Very good, one must maintain one's center or all else falls apart." He waited a moment, while I worked to regain my center. "Now, is there anything you could have done differently which might have avoided the fight, while still achieving that which you set out to accomplish?"
"I don't know, Sensei."
"Good, acknowledging a lack of information is the beginning to identifying an answer. Since you do not know if you could have achieved the same ends without a fight, did you perhaps insert yourself into a tense situation without proper preparation or a plan to get out of the situation."
"Yes, Sensei."
"Very good. Now remain here and examine the circumstances and see if you can deduce an approach that might have achieved your ends without a fight ensuing."
I bowed from my kneeling position and responded "Yes, Sensei."
He returned to the other students while I thought about the event.
I know I was tired following the test. I know I didn't like what I saw them doing. Did I perhaps go in with the intention of teaching them a lesson? I don't think so. Could I have gotten a teacher to stop it like the Head suggested? I don't know. I'd seen many turn deaf eyes on similar activities. Not all of them, I'll admit, but several. So, maybe, was it these particular kids? Had they been causing more trouble than most when I began interfering? I honestly couldn't say they had. Was there anything other than when they had been after that girl a few weeks ago? Not that I’d seen. Others had, but this group. I didn’t think I’d seen them do more. Could I have walked away and ignored it? No, I'd already answered that for Sensei. So, what was it? Would I have gotten into the fight no matter what, once I intervened?
I thought about that a bit, and I just didn't know.
Sensei returned after about fifteen minutes. "Have you come to any conclusions?"
"Yes, Sensei."
"Tell me."
"Sensei, I believe I had to intervene personally in the situation, but given that, I see no way I could have prevented the fight by my actions alone."
"I see. You remained calm throughout the encounter?"
"I believe so Sensei."
"You took no direct action nor made verbal comments that may have increased the tension in the situation?"
I didn't immediately answer that question.
Had I actually provoked the attack? No, they were ready to go after anyone. Had my attempts to draw attention to myself instead of Chris and James inflamed the situation? Maybe, just maybe.
"I may have increased the tension by what I said Sensei."
He nodded gravely. "What we say may have many effects on those that surround us. Why did you speak words of inflammation?"
"I believed it was the easiest way to draw attention to myself while taking it away from the original target of the tension."
"Could you have said different words and achieved the same goal?"
This stopped me again.
Could I have? Yes, I guess it’s possible. Now that he mentions it, I remember how one time Kirk had defused a situation a few months before he went back to the states. He'd started clowning, and everyone laughed and paid complete attention to his antics.
At this recollection, I nodded "Yes Sensei, I believe so now."
"Good you are learning. It is best to assume that all situations have more than one solution. You are young yet, but you must learn to pick the best solution of those available anyway. I have a final question for you." He paused then before continuing. "Did you enjoy the fight?"
"No, Sensei. It was no challenge of skills. It was like doing a chore, nothing more. And, afterward, I was concerned that I might have hurt one or more of them, despite checking most of my strikes."
"Were any injured?"
"Beyond bruises, no, not that I could determine Sensei."
"Good then. Perhaps you are not hopeless." He smiled, "Come, you will now exercise with me."
He then put me through my paces, stretching me like he'd never stretched me before. Had he not insisted I center before this, I would have been much worse off than I was. As it was, I was very tired, and beginning to make mistakes when he called a stop. "You have shown me better skill today than you have in the past, young Dan. Perhaps one day, not too far off, if you can continue to learn to control yourself and to think, you will be ready to test. Now, get ready to go. I see your mother has arrived." I stood and bowed to Sensei. Then waving to mom, I ran and got my stuff so we could go.
"You appear to have had quite a workout, young man."
"Yes, mother. Sensei knew things were not good today. He had me spend the first third of the session thinking about what happened and how I might have handled things differently without actually discussing the event. I learned a lot from the time."
"I'm glad that happened, but I was more talking about what I saw at the end."
"Sensei ran me ragged today Mom. I THINK he was showing me how much I've yet to learn, and that one can always find someone that is better than you so finding a non-violent solution is to be preferred. I believed this before, but this drove the lesson home."
"Good. We can't have you getting into fights."
"I know Mom. I didn't plan on it this time; the problem is I didn’t plan not to either."
"I'm glad you learned something from this. We'll defer any further discussion until your dad's there tonight. He doesn't know yet."
"Yes ma’am."
That evening was a bit unusual. Dad kept looking at me and mom, wondering what was up, since she'd said there was something to be discussed after dinner.
After dinner was finally finished, he asked "Well, which of you will tell me what's going on?"
"George, Danny was in a fight at school today." I cringed at her bald statement.
Dad just stopped for a minute before turning to me. "Would you mind explaining that?"
"I screwed up some Dad. Two kids in my class were getting harassed by about eight upper class kids. I went over to interrupt it. I was able to get to the two the big kids had surrounded. Everything fell apart then, one of the bigger guys grabbed at me and I avoided him. The rest sorta tried to pile on me then and I defended myself. I should have found another way to interrupt the harassment." Wow, that was concise. I guess the thinking Sensei had put me through had helped me get my thoughts in order.
He sat there a minute. "You could have been thrown out of that school or started a newsworthy incident you know."
"I'm sorry Dad, but yes, I know. That's why I said I should have found some other way to interrupt it."
"I guess being my son, you couldn't just walk away. So, what punishment did the school assess? I am correct in assuming there are some repercussions, but that you've not been expelled?"
"I'm on probation Dad. I'll have to make sure I'm not in a fight the rest of the term, and there will be a letter in my school record stating the circumstances and that I'd been in a fight. The headmaster really laid it out for me, and then Sensei made me understand what I'd done, what I'd done wrong, and what kind of things I could have done instead."
"You talked over things with your Sensei?"
"Not exactly. He saw I had something bothering me, and talked me through it, without asking any details. Then he gave me the hardest workout I've ever had in my life."
"I saw the end of that workout George. He was wiping up the mat with Danny."
I nodded sheepishly at that. "I needed to have the lesson driven home I guess."
"Lesson?"
"Umm. Yes Dad. That there's always someone around that can whoop you so if at all possible, find a solution other than fighting."
"He's right, fighting usually means you lost, because even if you win the fight, the other side resents it, and you have to fight again or worse. Take a look at the middle east if you want a good example of that." Dad took a deep breath and continued. "Sorry about that, I'll get off my soap box, but we do have to decide what to do with you."
"Yes sir."
"Your mother and I will think about it. That you were protecting someone else is laudable. That you ended up in a fight, well you know my opinion there.” He took a deep breath. “Is there anything else I need to know about today?"
"Nothing bad Dad, but I took the weirdest test at school before the fight. It was like each question had no right or wrong answer, but we were supposed to pick an answer anyway. I was wiped out when the test was over, and was the last one to leave the room."
"And with the excitement that followed you don't know what the others thought do you?"
"No Dad. Maybe I can ask some of them tomorrow."
"How many kids ended up taking the test?"
"Let me count." I went over them in my mind... Chris and James, Sally, Jeanine, Billy, Nigel and Nancy, okay. "Seven plus me makes eight in all."
"That's not a whole lot, son."
"No, I guess I was a little surprised. I wonder what kind of school it's for anyway."
"George, the name was something like Haycroft Hall. The name sounded familiar when I saw it this morning.” Mom added. “If Danny gets in, we can catch the school name and find out more about it."
"Hmm that name does sound familiar for some reason. Well, we'll see.
The next day at school was pretty quiet. I got a chance to ask Chris about the test, and his questions, while off the wall like mine were very different. A lot of the other kids gave me strange looks and the guys that had tried to pick on Chris and James left me completely alone except for smug looks. I guess they figured getting me put on probation was good revenge.
On Thursday, I got another letter for my parents. My mom, on opening it said. "Congratulations Danny, you've gotten past the tests to the selection stage. You've got an interview tomorrow. That will determine whether you're offered a position or not. Hayfield Hall... That name is familiar for some reason. I'll write it down, and maybe your dad can remember why. In any event, good luck in the interview." She handed me the paperwork, and went off to call dad. I sat there with a bemused look on my face, wondering about this school. Was I about to move to yet another school? After the past week, maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing. I got up, and headed down the hall. As I was walking, I overheard mom on the phone, and not really thinking, I stopped to listen.
"So that's where I'd heard the name. That performance was wonderful! And, the kids were so polite. Maybe you should check the security there. If he gets in, it sounds like an even better school than Westminster."
Wow, if they were going to check out the place that meant they would seriously consider me going there. I wonder what it's like? Then, a bigger question hit me. Why was this state sponsored school even considering me? I mean, I'm not a citizen. I'd think there have to be plenty of citizens who were as well qualified or better. Best not get my hopes up.
I continued down the hall, and got ready for school in the morning.
About 11:00 I was called to the head's office for my interview. I saw Chris sitting there. "You got an interview too?"
"Nah, James did, but he's so nervous he asked if I could be allowed to keep him company before and after. Unless there's someone after you, looks like just the two of you got called back for interviews. I'm kinda glad I didn't really."
"Why?"
"Dad's disabled, and I need to help out at home a lot. Going to a boarding school would be a hardship for us."
"It's a boarding school? I didn't know that."
"Oh yeah, they told us that before the first exam. Wait - you missed the assembly where they described the place. That was just before you joined the school. Sorry mate, I guess we all figured you knew."
"No problem." I wondered if that would be an issue. I didn’t if I wanted to have to go off to school. It'd be strange not having my mom and dad around to talk things over with.
"Hi James, how'd it go?" Chris said.
"No clue. It was weirder than the test was. I've no idea how I did. Let's go." he said, then apparently just noticing me "Oh, hi Danny, didn't see you. Thanks for sticking up for us the other day. Sorry you got hammered by the head though."
"Don't worry about it, Chris fixed it with the head so I'm only sorta in trouble."
"Okay then. Good luck in there mate."
At that, they left, and I sat down to wait for them to call me.
A few minutes later, a man I didn't recognize stuck his head out the door "Dan Humphrey?"
I got up. "Yes, sir."
"No sir for you. I'm Dan Mathews, and from one Dan to another, just call me Dan." he said as he beckoned me into the room and to a comfortable looking chair. "Like you, I'm also just a 'Dan', not a Daniel as most seem to want to believe." he said as he sat down. It was nice meeting another Dan.
"Dan James Humphrey, father George Tiberias Humphrey, Mother Lydia Warren Humphrey. brothers George T. Jr. and Benjamin Kirk, and sister Karen Marie. Born in Vancouver, British Columbia. Lived in Buenos Aires, Tokyo, Tel-Aviv, Naples and Athens before moving to London. Your next older brother is living in the states with your mother's parents for the last four years of his schooling before Uni. Your sister's at Harvard and your older brother is a Stanford graduate, married with a kid making you an Uncle. You play the piano and have some experience in Judo. Anything in there in error?"
"Um. I don't think so."
"That's good, just wanted to get that out of the way before we got into the questions. Do you have any idea why we might want to have all that information?"
"It sounds like a background check to me."
He laughed at that. "You got it in one. I told them you'd figure that out." I must have had a quizzical look on my face, because he continued. "The selection committee."
"Oh, thanks."
"Well, let's get to the business of why I'm here and why we just don't use the tests to select candidates." He paused. "The fight you were in the other day. What brought that on?"
Oh boy. I guessed I'd already screwed things up and they were just going through the formalities. "I saw two classmates getting harassed by eight of the older kids."
"Why didn't you go for help or ignore it like most of the rest of the kids were doing?"
"You can't ignore things when there's a problem. Problems don't go away by themselves."
He waited for something and when I didn’t continue, he said, "True, but that doesn't answer the entire question."
I thought for a minute before responding. "I don't like being people picked on. Since it wasn't the first time I'd seen these guys shaking someone down I figured none of the teachers would do anything. So, I tried to do what some of the marines had described about cutting people out of crowds to protect them. It mostly worked, and probably would have had I had backup. But the way I took attention on myself probably contributed to triggering the fight."
He nodded. "So working without backup is what you did wrong?"
"Not really. The biggest error was talking to them at their level with aggression rather than acting to defuse the situation."
"Okay. How did you come to that conclusion?"
"Sensei made me think through the event a step at a time, until I was able to work it out."
"Sensei? You talked it over with your teacher?"
"Not exactly. He knew when I walked into the dojo that there was an issue, and talked me through examining it without ever actually talking about the event itself. Knowing yourself is a big part of martial arts, and guiding others to know themselves is one of the things required of masters."
"Do you aspire to becoming a master?"
"Perhaps one day, but I'm not anywhere close to ready as that event proved."
"Your piano playing? You've been playing a long time."
"Yes, I kinda started when I was five."
"What do you think of your current teacher?"
"He's nice enough, but I need a better one. He said he'd look around. At that, he's better than the teacher I had in Athens."
"What's missing?"
"He's not that good at interpreting the music and he can't help me with composition, except at the most basic level."
"Would you like to learn other instruments?"
"Time's an issue there. To become really good, requires focus. If I were to look at too many instruments, I'd end up competent at a lot, but not really good. Sorta like the music teachers I've had in the schools."
He seemed a little surprised at my reaction to that, but nodded. "Do you tune your piano?"
"Some, but professional tuners are better. The best of them actually adjust the tuning from true, to achieve a better sound from each piano. It's a real art, and fun to watch them."
"Your essay about what school is. Did you mean that to describe how it is here?"
"No. That was more what I thought a school SHOULD be. I should be a place where we're encouraged to learn rather than a place where we're taught. Sorry. I said all that in the essay."
"Yes, and it sounded like something you've thought about before. Why is that?"
"My mom's a teacher, well sometimes anyway, and she's talked about how hard some kids are to reach and stuff like that. I've seen kids in school that just seem bored all the time and I admit a lot of the material is pretty booooring. Somehow, they've lost the desire to learn or never were shown how much fun learning can be."
"Okay. Here's where we let you ask a few questions."
"Why me? Why a yank?"
"You passed the test."
"No, I mean there must be lots of kids around that qualify. Why pick an alien? I'm finding it hard to understand why a special school program would take me."
"Ahh. I thought there might be a chance you’d ask that, and I had to do some checking to be sure of the answer. I'll start by answering the latter first part of your question first. Our law states that everyone is to be educated, the program applies to any resident, not just citizens. The only issue that might come into play would be if your father were posted elsewhere during the duration of your education. As to why you, you do fit much of our profile for potential students."
"So, there is a chance and this isn't just going through the motions?"
"Yes, this is a real interview."
"I assume you're interviewing more candidates than you have spaces. How do you decide who to invite?"
"We carefully match the candidates as well as we can, to come up with a group of students that balance and complement each other."
"So, you could have an outstanding candidate that for some reason doesn't plug in with the rest and you'd have to reject the candidate?"
"That is correct."
"Are there other criteria?"
He nodded. "Yes. Another big one is whether the candidate is likely to perform better using our approaches than they are in a more traditional setting like that provided here."
"So someone that would do well in a school like this would be rejected?"
“That's not necessarily the case, but normally yes."
"What might be an exception?"
"There are several, but here’s one example. If there were a second candidate that would really benefit from our methods, but was hard to pair up, they might be rejected, unless we could find a second qualified candidate that balanced this individual well such that both became more likely to benefit from our methods. In such a case, both of their chances would be improved. That is not to say that just because someone balanced another student, if they were better off where they were, we’d not invite them. Our goal is to provide the best possible experience and environment for our students.”
"Wow. That’s a pretty intensive selection process.” He nodded at that and I thought a minute before continuing. “Since it's a boarding school I'd only get to see my folks on holidays and the rare weekend they could get up there? Well, wherever it is."
"No." He looked back at his file with a frown, and then his eyes lit up I guess in understanding. "Oh, you missed the orientation presentation we did before the first exam didn't you?" I nodded at that. "Due to many factors, including the Senseitive nature of some of the kid's conditions and our approaches to education, you would not see your family again until you graduated. After all, we need uniform rules for all of the students." I felt like my legs had been cut out from under me there. I mean my mom had always been there, and dad, whenever I needed.
"You mean no contact?"
"Not completely. There's a postal connection, and there is an emergency number they can use to contact the school for emergencies such as a death in the family. In general though, yes, you would be cut off from them for the next five years."
"This school must really be something for kids to be willing to do that."
"For some, not only is it not painful, it’s actually a relief as they come from bad environments at home. Others do find it more difficult, and we are there to help them through the worst of the pain. Your parents will I'm sure find all of this out when they check out the school, assuming we are able to offer you a position of course."
That’s interesting. They made the assumption that the school would be checked out. I guess, considering the background check they'd done on me that isn't surprising.
I continued, trying to get my mind around this place. "If you were to pick one thing that makes your school different from say this one, what would it be? Other than it's selectivity that is."
He smiled at that, and then looked thoughtful. "I'd like to answer that with two answers rather than just one, as the two are very much closely related. First, we look to help students develop as complete people. Not just academically or musically or other facets of traditional settings, but socially and emotionally as well. Second, we pair our students very carefully, as I hinted earlier, so that they enhance each other. This pairing provides built in study partners which we've found greatly enhances both students’ experience. Maybe I can help you better understand this latter with a question of my own. Have you ever studied a topic with someone else?"
"Once or twice, but not very often. It's hard getting together sometimes."
"That is one hurdle, but more I'm wondering did you find it made the material easier to comprehend when you had someone else to discuss it with?"
I thought for a minute before responding. "Well, I have found that having to organize my thoughts well enough to explain things, even to word a question, to another person, makes things clearer for me. Is that what you mean?"
"That's part of it. Were you ever uncomfortable trying to study with someone else?"
I thought back for a bit before responding. "Actually, yes, though just once. I was more frustrated than anything. We were doing a team project, and one of the guys on the team just wouldn't do his share. The rest of us had to do his stuff too, so the group wouldn't get penalized. I mean, we could do the work. However, we all felt like we were carrying someone that didn’t deserve to get the grade with us. But we couldn’t think of a way to get him to do his share."
He nodded. "I can understand that. Is there anything else you'd like to know?"
"Are you a shrink, or just a trained interrogator?"
He gave a bark of a laugh at that. "Got it in one, though you're the first to accuse me of being an interrogator, it's usually interviewer, if they twig at all."
"Twig?" Danged, caught on another term again.
That brought another chuckle. "You do so well; I sometimes forget you're American. That's slang for guessed. By the way, why is it that you sound more or less like the rest of the kids here, instead of like an American?"
I looked a little sheepish a bit and responded "I guess it's my ear, or that's what my mom says, anyway. Unless I concentrate on it, I tend to gradually end up sounding like those around me. Occasionally it's faster, even in a conversation. I'll end up sounding like the person I'm talking to. This has gotten some folks upset, thinking I'm just mocking them."
"I see. Well however you do it, you fit in well. Thank you for your time.” He stood up. “We'll let you know one way or the other Monday. If possible, ask your parents to try and be available. Should we be able to offer you a position, we need to meet with both parents as soon as possible to get things moving."
Is he hinting something to me? Nah, it couldn't be. Well I'll let the folks know what he said anyway.
We shook hands, as he escorted me out the door and handed me a pass. "As we went on for so long, and you probably have a good bit to think about, there should be a boxed lunch … ah here it is," he said, picking up a box. "When you finish eating, use the pass to return to your normal class. I'll see you on Monday, one way or the other."
That night, I mentioned what Mr. Mathews had said about them keeping some time open on Monday if I were offered a position. Dad pulled out his Blackberry, and checked something. "That should be manageable." He made some entries on the device, and then turned back to us. "Lyd, I checked the files on Hayfield this afternoon, and it is the school that gave that concert in Rome a few years ago." My ears perked up at that. I remembered that concert. Those kids were awesome! I couldn’t imagine playing at that level, but just associating with kids like that would be great. Maybe that school wouldn’t be as bad as I feared. "They also have very good security, so they get a green flag as far as Danny attending. Another factor is that it seems despite their global field trips, the kids get such good training they pass their exams a year or two early and are even taking college level classes before graduation.” Turning to me, he continued. “This sounds like a great school, Danny."
"There’s just one problem, Dad."
"Besides not being offered a spot son?"
"No, from what he said, I suspect I'll be offered a place. I’m just not so sure about the school. It's year round."
"They have to do something to help the kids achieve like that. We'll still see you on holidays.” Mom was looking at me as she spoke. Seeing the bleak expression on my face, she continued, “Wait, you're saying that we don't see you for the duration?"
"No Lyd, that's the one real negative I was able to find about the school. It's full time including holidays, and no visits either way," Dad explained.
"That's what Mr. Mathews said Mom." I said, agreeing with dad. "He said it was to provide uniform rules for all the students, and that some come from environments that make such restrictions critical for their growth and development."
"Hmmm. We'll have to think about it then. We won't force you to go if you don't want to."
"Thanks Dad. If it weren't for that, I think I'd jump at the place after you told me they were that orchestra we heard. I just don't want to leave you and mom alone, what with Kirk back in the states and all."
He laughed at that. "Danny, what makes you think your mother and I need a chaperone!"
I looked up startled, and then thought about what he'd said, and looked down squirmed a little. I just didn’t want to think about that. No, not even a little bit. I mean, they’re my parents!
"If it's us that's holding you back, you're making a big mistake. I'm convinced the school doesn't make you disappear off the face of the earth."
We all laughed at his joke, and with a lighter mood, I said, "No, he said there's a special way to get mail through, I'm assuming without the school's address. And he said there was a phone number you can use to call the school, if there's an emergency."
"Danny, we're your parents. With the possible exception of the separation, this school sounds like it’s ideal for you! Assuming you get an invitation, as you seem to believe you will, don't reject it because you think we'll be lonely! We are grandparents, after all."
No, I do not need to think about that. Parents don’t do that do they? Ewwww. I shook myself, and said, "Okay, I'll think about it. The school does really sound neat."
I ran into James the next day, and we chatted briefly. Seems his interview touched on his relationship with Chris, and was a lot shorter than mine had been. He seemed a bit down on the school, since Chris would obviously not be going, but he wished me luck. "It'll probably be safer there for you Dan. You won't have those snobs gunning for you." I thanked him and we went our separate ways.
The weekend seemed to drag on forever. I constantly changed my mind on what I wanted to do. Sunday night, I finally decided to take the bull by the horns and think it through. I built a chart, where I put down all of the things in favor of Hayfield, and all the things against it. The list was awfully long on the plus side. But though there weren’t that many negatives, some were pretty big.
Is there any way to turn a negative into a positive? I thought to myself. It took a while, but I managed to find some ways to counter the negatives, and in a few cases by looking at them differently, some of the negatives actually became positives.
Well, the separation will force me to depend on myself more for decisions than being able to fall back on mom and dad. That's a counteracting good for the same negative. It doesn't reverse it. Okay. I'll miss them. Can I keep in contact? Yes, they say so. Will that be the same? No, but with all the good, maybe it's enough.
I went to sleep, thinking that if I were offered the position, I'd probably accept it. The goods seemed to outweigh the bads.
That night was not a good one. I must have woken up a dozen times, tossing and turning. When I finally got up with my alarm, I knew it was going to be a long day, no matter the school's decision. I hoped I didn't run into any trouble. My reactions would be shot.
"Didn't sleep well son?"
Sheesh, even dad noticed. "No sir. I think I made up my mind last night before lying down, but I seemed to go through it over and over all night long."
"It's a big step, Son. What have you decided to do if they offer you a position?"
"I'll go, Dad. There are so many good things about the school, but, I'll really miss both of you."
"You'll be fine! Remember, we don't see the rest of the family all that often. I mean we've been able to get back to see Lyd's parents once in three years, and that was to take Kirk home last year. So, we can manage."
"I know, Dad. That's what helped me decide."
"Well, I've gotta get some stuff done. I’d best head in now, in case they call me to come down." He took off.
Mom was great though. She kept up a happy morning chatter. Of course she's always been a morning person. I wonder if it was just to distract me though. A little while later, I took off for school. The walk through Hyde Park and then over to the school was always a peaceful one when the weather cooperated.
I wonder what it will be like in the fall or winter when it gets chillier. Wait, I might not even be here to find out. Oh, I wish today was over, so I could know.
I had trouble keeping my mind on things during the first lecture. I guess I was hoping and dreading a call down to the office to find out what the story was.
"Mr. Humphrey, why don't you and Mr. Williams just go down to the Head's office and wait for word. Neither of you are worth much today." I looked over at James, and he looked at me.
I shrugged, and said. "Thank you sir. Sorry."
"Just get on you two. Two of you getting this far is honor enough for the school."
We headed down to the office. "You still gunna turn it down James?" He nodded.
"How about you Dan?"
"I go back and forth, and almost hope I don't get offered a chance so I don't have to finally make up my mind."
"I hear that. It'd make it easier for me too. Then Chris won't feel guilty that the only reason I turned it down was cause of him."
"He's a good guy. You two take care of each other." I said as we got to the head's office.
The door opened just as we got there, and his assistant said "Ahh, you're here so I don't have to come down and get you both. Come on in."
I saw that Mr. Mathews was in the Head’s office, as we were invited into the outer waiting area.
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
"Hi boys. Mr. Chatworth, I'll take you first. Mr. Humphrey, have a seat."
I wonder what Mr. Mathews was going to say to James... A few moments later, I heard a cheer from James. Now, I really wondered. James came out, and said "I'm off the hook dude! Good luck!" and I understood.
"Okay Mr. Humphrey, come on in. You can head back to class, unless you want to wait, Mr. Chatworth."
"I'll wait for Dan, if you don't mind, Mr. Mathews." He nodded at James, and we went in.
"You turned him down, didn't you?" I said before he had a chance to say anything.
"Yes."
"I'm glad. He really didn't want to leave his friend, and was afraid his friend would hold it against him, if he turned you down."
"We know. As I said last week, our goal is the best for all of our students, and after the interview, it was apparent that this was the right place for him."
I smiled at that. If that’s an example of how far they’ll go, maybe the place will be okay.
"Your concern for your classmate, on the other hand, has confirmed our decision to offer you a place in Hayfield."
I sat there stunned. It's what I'd expected, but the reality hit me hard. "I'll do that much better at Hayfield?"
"You will do better we believe, and another student we've offered a position to will help you to grow more. And, as you’ll probably guess in a minute or two, we expect you to help this student as well. "
"You've already picked a partner for me? I don't have a say?"
"As I said last week, we are very careful matching students. So far, we've not gotten any incompatible people set up as study partners. But, on the off chance we do, we'll work it out, I assure you."
"Do you have an alternate, if I can't go?"
"Yes, but the alternate is not as good a match."
"Okay. I think my parents will agree, too."
"I know,” he said chuckling, “I've already spoken with your mother, and they will be here this afternoon at 1:00 to finalize the paperwork. You can come back here after lunch and meet them."
I was still a little stunned at the way things were going. Someone actually needed something I could provide. I certainly knew there was a LOT I needed to grow up. I had so much to learn.
"Dan, are you going to go out and at least see Mr. Chatworth? I believe he's waiting for you."
"What, oh yeah, I'd best go. Thanks Mr. Mathews."
"From now on, I'm just Dan. Okay?"
"Okay, um Dan."
"Welcome to the family."
I gave a little grin, and went out to see James.
"Dan?"
"I'm going, James."
"Way to go, man!"
"I guess. I'm still kinda dazed, James. Apparently I'm done today after lunch. Dunno what happens next."
"After lunch?"
"Yeah, my folks have to come down here and sign some paperwork after lunch. Guess I'll find out more then."
"Way cool." As I became more with it, it was obvious that James was in much better spirits than he'd been since the interviews last week.
"You were really sweating this too, weren’t you?"
"I was. This way, I can honestly tell Chris I didn't make the cut either. It's really great you made it. You still mixed about it?"
"Yeah, it's a great school, no question. My dad checked it out, and they have this awesome orchestra."
"I didn't know you were into music."
"Yeah, I play the piano a little."
"A man of many talents Dan, that's you. I bet that's why you got in!"
"I dunno. Pianos are only used sometimes with orchestras. And I doubt I'm good enough to solo with them, anyway. I mean really. I'm only twelve."
We got to class then. The rest of the morning went pretty well. I got more congratulations from more people than I'd expected. I hoped that eased off soon. It made me a bit uncomfortable. Eventually lunch was over, and I headed back to the office. When I got there, my folks were just coming in.
"Hi Mom and Dad, I guess I'm in."
"I guess you are, son."
We went in, and Dan was standing there. "Mom, Dad, this is Mr. Mathews. Mr. Mathews, this is my mom and dad."
"Dan, what did I say my name was?"
"Sorry, Just Dan."
My folks gave me a look, and relaxed at his barked laugh. "Okay, you got me there, Dan. You can leave off the just next time." I smiled at this, feeling good about getting him."
"Okay Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey. Thank you for coming down. Let’s go into this office they put at my disposal and answer any questions you may still have. Am I correct in assuming your intent is to let Dan attend Hayfield?"
"At this point, yes it is, Mr. Mathews. We do have a few questions, but I don't believe the answers will change our decision."
They asked a few things that showed how much they'd actually checked out the school. A few of the things were stuff Dan said was in an info packet he had for them, like the phone number and post box address they could use to mail to me. The one thing that surprised all of us, was that I was to take nothing from home with me to the school. Apparently the school provided everything. Wow. I hope the clothes are comfortable.
"I'll see you tomorrow afternoon at 1:00. And we'll pick up your study partner on the way to the school. Remember, nothing but lint in the pockets tomorrow! And dinner will be a bit later than normal tomorrow, so don't forget to eat lunch."
"Okay Dan. I'll see you then."
My folks and I went home after that. I was a little dazed at the speed everything had happened, and then I realized I'd not told Sensei I'd be leaving, nor had I had a chance to test. "Mom, I need to stop by the dojo."
"George, I think he's right. They took him on rather quickly for us."
"Okay, luckily it's early and traffic isn't bad. You're sure your sensei will be there Danny?"
"I think so, Dad."
We stopped at the dojo, and I ran in.
"You are in a hurry, young one."
I stopped, and caught my breath. "Yes, Sensei" I said, bowing to him.
"This is not your usual day or time. Something has changed in your life?"
"Yes, Sensei."
"I thank you for coming to me to tell me." He indicated some mats off to one side. I took my shoes off before kneeling on the mat facing him. "Tell me."
I told him how I'd been accepted into a special school, and that it was a boarding school, so I’d be unable to continue training with him, and how I'd miss his wise teaching.
"You have learned well and fast for one so young. If this school is as good as you believe, they will provide a way for you to continue to grow. Since you came running in, is it correct for me to assume one of your parents is in the car waiting for you?"
"Yes, Sensei, they both are."
"It has been an honor guiding you. Continue as you have, and you will grow far. I thank you for coming to tell me in person." He bowed to me and I returned the bow, before getting my shoes and heading out to the car.
"Thanks, Mom and Dad. That was important."
"Do you need to say good bye to your piano teacher too, son?"
"No, he's nice enough, but it wasn't the same there. If there’s time tonight, I can call and thank him and explain what’s happening. After all, he did offer to try to find me another teacher. "
"That’s good of you Danny. All right, let's get home."
I spent another restless night, though this was more anticipation, and got up pretty early. Breakfast was kinda subdued.
"Okay Danny, I've gotta say good bye now. I know you'll do great son; you know how proud we are of your accomplishments, and I’m sure we’ll continue to be as proud as any parents could be.” He paused then, and took a breath before continuing. “Well, I guess I’ll see you in about 5 years!"
"Thanks Dad, I'm going to miss you!"
"I know. We'll miss you too, son, but it's only a while, and we can at least write. Do us proud!" I was a little surprised when he hugged me, but it felt good anyway.
Mom and I were left alone after he was gone. "Danny, you want to take a walk in the park?"
"That'd be good, Mom. Hyde Park is so nice. I hope there are nice parks or grounds for walking and thinking at Hayfield."
"I'm sure there will be, son."
We walked quietly for a while, just enjoying the park. "I'm really going to miss you, Mom."
"Son, I know you’ll do fine. And remember, we’re not totally cut off from you! How’d you like the occasional letter from your old man?" I could tell she was trying to keep things light. Maybe she was having as much trouble with things as I was.
"Thanks, Mom. I guess I’ll do okay. I’m just worried about not knowing ANYONE. At least when we moved here, I had you and dad."
"Come on, son. It's not like we'll be in a different country!"
"Sorry Mom." We were quiet again for a while. A strange thought came to me. "Mom?"
"Hmmm?"
"Do you think I'll keep growing and end up tall like dad?"
"You might, dear. With the growth spurt you put on last year, you're as tall as I am now. It all depends on whether you take after your dad's side of the family, or mine. If you do, you’ll have two more spurts. Otherwise you may be done getting taller, and will just fill out."
I nodded, recalling that mom's brother, Uncle Phil, wasn't any taller than mom. Well, time would tell. Mom looked down at her watch, "We'd best head back if you want to get a little practicing in before lunch. I'd like to hear some before you take off."
"Okay, Mom."
When we got back, I sat down and played a while. It was good, because I completely lost track of time until Mom came and said, "I hated stopping you Danny, but you need to hit the bathroom before Mr. Mathews gets here. I made you a lunch to take with you."
"Thanks, Mom." I gave her a big hug, and ran for the bathroom. When I got back downstairs, I saw the mantle clock almost at one. "Mom, you're wonderful." She was holding what looked like a big bag of food. I gave her another hug as I took the bag.
"Just tell Mr. Mathews that it's all disposable."
"Yes, Mom." At that point, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it."
"If it's Mr. Mathews, just go ahead, Danny."
"Thanks Mom." Mom gave me a last hug, before I headed for the door. I wondered, that hug seemed tighter than usual. Could she be going to miss me as much as I’ll miss her?
I could see Dan through the window, so I gave Mom a wave as I went outside with Dan. I was afraid I’d start crying if I stayed much longer, and boys don’t cry!
"Already said your goodbyes I take it."
I took a deep breath and let it out before replying, "Yeah."
"Empty pockets?"
"Yep, not even lint." I pulled them inside out so he could see.
"What's with the bag?"
"Lunch, if that's okay. I completely lost track of time while playing the piano and mom didn't stop me until it was almost time for you to arrive."
He laughed and said, "Okay, you can eat on the way. We need to get on the road if we want to get to your partner's and then out of London before traffic picks up."
We started out East and drove along the North bank of the Thames. "Wow, that the Tower?"
"Yes. You've not seen it yet?"
"No, we'd planned on taking some time next month to go, though."
"It's a good tour. If we can't get you there soon, I'm sure you can see it once you finish at Hayfield."
“That’d be so cool. Is the school an old castle like that?”
“No, you’re thinking Hogwarts. Hayfield is old, as you’ll see, but not that old. We should be on the Isle of Dogs soon. That’s where your study partner’s temporary foster home is.”
“Foster home? He’s an orphan?”
"Yes, she’s an orphan. Do you have any problems with that?"
"Of course not, I’d assumed my study partner would be another guy."
“That’s a small part of our consideration when trying to identify study partners. As I mentioned before, we try to look at the whole person and try to do the best for all of our students.”
I nodded, thinking back over the last year or so of school. I’d had better experiences on the rare occasion I’d had a girl as a project partner. They’d not tried to clown all the time and they had mostly been willing to do their share on the projects. While thinking about this, we pulled to a stop.
As Dan got out, he said "Well, why don’t you move into the back seat while I go and get your study partner."
I got out, and climbed back into the back. I moved over, leaving her the side by the curb, and waited. It wasn’t a long wait. I guess she had been waiting for him. As they were walking toward the car, something about the way she walked was familiar, but I couldn't figure out why. Then, she opened the door to the back seat, and was getting in and I remembered. "You!"
She responded "Dan?"
Dan looked back, "You two know each other? I didn't think you'd been in Westminster long enough while Dan was there for you to have met."
"Umm. Sorta, she talked to me once, and then disappeared." I turned to her, and said, "I’m afraid I don’t even know your name. Sorry."
"That's okay Dan. I'm Renee MacInnis"
"Well, you two get settled back there, and we can get on the road. We’ve got quite a drive ahead. Hopefully we won’t have too many people taking off early today. It’ll take us a while to get north to the motorway, but once we’re there, with luck we’ll be there in less than two hours.”
Dan asked how we'd ended up meeting so as to be memorable in the couple of days we'd overlapped there. Renee told him about how I'd intervened to stop some guys from harassing her.
"Dan, were those the same guys you mixed up with before the interview?"
I nodded, and recalling he couldn't see, responded. "Yes, they were harassing Chris and James that time."
"You got in their way again Dan? That's not all that smart; they could have made trouble for you. Complaints by their parents caused my foster folks to send me back to the orphanage again."
"Well, I guess it's too late for them now," I responded.
"Too true; so, how'd you get those two away from their clutches?"
"I got them talking to me and while they were watching me, Chris and James took off."
"So, it was quite like when you did it for me?"
I was about to agree with her, when Dan chimed in, “Tell her the whole story, Dan. I'll explain later"
I looked at the back of his head, and thought about what little he'd said about my study partner, and then shrugged. "No, it wasn't quiet that smooth. I'm afraid I let the situation boil over a little, and they ended up attacking me. I had to defend myself."
"You got hurt?"
"No, they really didn't know what they were doing, so I was able to deflect most of what they tried, though I did have to throw a few of them. I pulled all my punches so they didn't get hurt."
"You took on the bunch of them? How many were there?"
"Ummm, eight."
"You took on eight guys bigger than you are, and didn't get hurt? Damn, I wish I'd seen them get wasted like that. They certainly deserved it, the way they always picked on the scholarship kids."
"I'm not all that proud of what I did, Renee. Sensei got me to realize that by fighting I wasn't helping, and that I could have accomplished my goal without it. Then, he reminded me how little I do know."
"Sensei? You do martial arts?"
"Some, yeah. Oh, Dan. I forgot to ask you, will there be an opportunity for me to continue my martial arts training?"
"Probably, at most, you might need to change disciplines to one where we can arrange an instructor."
"Thanks. I was worried I’d have to give it up."
"Now, you two relax back there while I navigate these lovely roads."
We chatted a bit, but, I guess she’d probably had as much trouble sleeping as I did. It wasn't long before I was asleep anyway.
At some later point, I felt a poke, and woke up, looking around. "Huh."
"Wake up; I think we're getting there. We just turned onto this track from a road that went through a village."
It was obvious a minute later when we pulled up to a big iron gate. From the front seat, Dan waved his hand and said "Open Sesame", and the gate swung open.
"Where's the opener button, Dan?"
"In my other hand, I take it you’re not impressed, huh."
"My dad pulled similar stunts on our garage in Athens. It got old pretty quick."
"Sorry about that." At which point, Renee pointed ahead of us. I'd known we were coming up to a building, but her motion caused me to look at it.
"Wow, that's some building! How old is it?"
"The main building is about 220 years old. The wings were added when we established the school." Dan said, as he pulled into a small lot off the main entrance. "Welcome to Hayfield Hall." he said as he got out. Renee and I quickly scrambled out as well and followed him to the entrance.
"Wow, this is as nicer than some embassies I've seen!"
"We do like it. It sets a good tone for the school. We've kept this main building close to its original with very minor and well hidden updates. You'll be eating and relaxing in the facilities here. Orchestra rehearsals are here, too. You'll see we've got a nice theatre as part of the building." 'Wow, this must have been some house in its prime!' "The wing on the left as we came in is where the living quarters are and we'll head there next. The other new wing is where the classrooms and learning activities tend to occur. Later you'll find a number of the other facilities on the grounds."
"This place is really awesome, isn't it Renee?"
She nodded, but kept pretty quiet. I wondered what was up.
Dan was showing us how to get from this building to the bedroom wing. "Each year has a private common room, where only year members can go without being invited by someone in the year. We'll start there. After that, I'll show you your rooms."
Wow, this room was amazing. The fireplace was nice, and on the wall next to it was a huge plasma TV. I guess Dan noticed my gaze, "You've gotten the first of the 60 inchers. The other years will have their 48 inchers replaced over the next few weeks, when they can schedule a time for the crew to be in their common rooms. We were able to get yours done early, since none of you were here yet. I think you'll be happy with the channel selection. They come in from all over the world. The foreign language stations come in handy if you're studying that language." We both nodded. I didn't know about Renee, but I was getting blown away by all of this. "You'll find your radio options are as wide ranging. Both are accessible here or in your rooms."
I couldn't believe this was a state funded school. But dad said it was. There's no way the US government could set up an exclusive school like this! This reminded me, “Where is the rest of the class, uh sorry, year?"
"Yes, it's year here." He smiled, pulling out what looked like a PDA of some sort. I'd always wanted one, but they were so expensive. "They've not arrived as yet, but the next pair will be at the main hall in twelve minutes."
"That's exact? You must have trackers, somehow."
He nodded, and continued, "The rest of the year will get here over the next hour and a half." Well, let's head for your rooms, so you can get cleaned up and changed. We walked off to the sleeping wing. "You each have your own private room with an en-suite. There's an interconnecting door between study partner’s rooms. Renee and Dan, as I mentioned earlier, you'll be study partners."
Dan stopped in front of one room. I noticed none of them had any indication of a number or anything. "This will be your room, Renee." he said as he opened the door. Wow, some room. I could see three doors. On the wall to the right was a single door, which must be to my room as the left wall had two doors.
"Is that my room over there?" I said pointing at the single door.
"Yes. The other two doors are to the en-suite and the closet."
“En-suite, what’s that?” I asked. Renee gave a little laugh at that, and I looked at her.
“You got me again, Dan.” He paused a moment, I guess thinking. “I’m not sure what you Americans call them, but basically it’s a private bathroom. Every room has one.”
"Wow, that and walk in closets! Nice. But how'd you know what kind of clothing to get?"
"Our background checks are pretty extensive. And, your clothing will be updated over time as you grow." I nodded at this, hoping they knew my mom altered my cloths... Well, I'd find out soon enough.
Dan went over to the computer system. Wow, a retinal scan. I'd not seen one of those in real life, except in the embassy when dad showed me around. "No logging in as a buddy, here!" I said.
Dan turned. “No, we're pretty security conscious here, though there is a special network for those of you that are real geeks/geekettes. Once you're released on it, you get to do some pretty serious hacking, I understand." I shook my head at that, knowing I wouldn't be one of those. I mean, I can get around a computer pretty well, and can follow some of the geeks talking, but actually doing it? Not likely!
After he scanned in, a menu came up and he quickly navigated around the system and then turned to us. "I thought you'd like to see where the rest of the class is. The five dots are the cars with your classmates. Only one other pair was able to be picked up together. Your year mates come from all over." It was interesting watching the dots. One was close, as he'd said earlier. I guess Dad was right. Security was pretty tight here. After we'd watched a minute or so, he said. "Renee, I've got to register you onto the network." He tapped a few keys and we heard a verbal prompt "Position for Iris scan."
"Renee, place your right eye like you saw me do." She did, and shortly, we heard "Iris scan complete."
"Okay Dan, your turn." he said, as he had us change places. Soon I was also registered. And he logged out.
"Okay, I want each of you to log in." Since I was sitting there, I did it first, and a welcome screen appeared. In the top left was a flashing icon. To do? "Go ahead and click the Icon. Renee, you'll have one waiting for you as well." Clicking the icon brought up 'Menu Selection'. "Don't worry for now. But once you're in your room, you'll need to log in and make your meal selections. The system has a tailored menu based on you and your needs. It'll make sure you get a balanced diet and an appropriate caloric intake. You get to choose a lot of things. One option is even when you have your biggest meal. If you decide to eat a LOT at one meal, later meals will have fewer selections or smaller portions. The system keeps track of your selections as well. So, if you forget, or are too busy one day despite the reminder, the system will choose for you based on your demonstrated preferences. That said, I wouldn't forget for a while if I were you. It doesn't know you well yet." He chuckled. "Do either of you have any questions?"
When neither of us indicated a question he said, "Okay Dan, go ahead and log off and let Renee at the computer.” After Renee went through it as well, he had her log out as well.
"Your retina scan will allow you to log into just about any computer on the network. If you can't log in, there's a reason. If you think you should be able to, just ask someone on staff. The rest of the systems will be no problem. All of the computers are interlinked on a redundant network. There's a bunch of other details that you can find out about through the student interface, and in your computer class later in the week." At my questioning glance "Yes, you'll all get some computer training. It's hard to get by in the world without it."
"Okay, we'll leave Renee to deal with her menu, shower and get changed.” Then to both of us, “Once you change, all of your old clothes go into the bag." He indicated a black bag sitting on the bed. "Dan, your bag is waiting on your bed, as you’ll see in a minute. Other than those three tasks, you're both on your own until six, when you need to be in the year room."
He went over and opened the separating door, and beckoned me to follow. I noticed there was no lock on the door as he closed it behind us. "No locks?"
"No, there are no secrets between study partners. I'll go over a lot of this later with both of you. Study partners are trusted to look out for each other and be considerate of each other's space." I thought about that for a bit, and wondered how it would work out with a female partner. "Don't worry about it Dan. If you ever need to talk, I'm there for you. You should find an icon on your screen to send me a page that'll show up on my PDA here."
"Those things sound pretty neat."
"You'll have one of your own by the end of the day." I looked up incredulously. "Yes, every student and staff member has one. You’ll be required to keep it with you at all times when you’re outside this room or Renee’s room."
"Wow." I guess I'm getting repetitive, but this place just kept blowing my mind.
All of a sudden, I remembered something he'd said in one of our conversations. "You said my study partner had some issues. Renee seems normal to me."
"She'll have to tell you herself, and I suspect she will sooner than any of us expect, but that's the consideration side of the partnership."
"Okay thanks." Only as he was walking toward the door, did I notice the keyboard. "What..."
"I was wondering when you'd notice that. Since a piano is a tad difficult to cart around, it was felt you might benefit from having the keyboard here. This will allow you to play at any time. Don't worry about disturbing anyone except your partner, as the walls and door to the corridor have had sound abatement materials embedded. This also applies to the floor and ceiling. And, if at times you need to play at a time you might bother Renee, there are some wireless headphones."
I stood there awestruck. I couldn't believe it could possibly be a top of the line Kurzweil synthesizer! I'd just read about them, but never had a chance to touch one. I walked over and just hovered my hands over the keys in a daze.
"Are you going to try it out?"
"Can I?"
"That's what it's there for."
I reached up, and hit the switch and sat down on the bench and moved the pedals to where I'd need them. I went through a few exercises. The feel was light and responsive. Not quite like a grand, but better than any keyboard I'd ever tried. I wondered what I could do with this. There were supposed to be lots of voices and such. I started looking for the manual.
"The manual's online and it's interfaced to your desktop." He paused. "I take it we were right in our assessment?"
"Oh yeah, thanks Dan."
I had turned back to the keyboard to begin to play when he interrupted me. "You might want to take care of the rest of the things before getting lost there."
"Umm. Yeah, thanks." He headed off at that.
With all the time on the piano at home, I'd not gotten a shower this morning, so I went and grabbed the bag and went to the bathroom. I thought about it a bit, and put my sneakers in as well. Seeing a laundry chute, I guessed that was where the bag went and tossed it in. After my shower, I was feeling good, and padded out to get some underclothes. Not paying all that much attention, I opened the door and seeing a section of drawers just inside, I pulled the top one. What the heck. The drawer was full of bras. I opened the next drawer, panties. How could they have made this mistake?
I rushed over to the computer; made sure the camera was pointed away and logged in. Where is that icon? There it is. "Dan, the cloths are screwed up." I typed and hit send.
A moment later, there was a chime and a flashing icon. I clicked it, and he said. "Sorry about that, Dan. I forgot to tell you one important thing about your clothing selection. All wardrobes are set out the same. The left side has the male clothing, the right the female, and the back, androgynous. Your door opened on the left, so the first drawers you saw contained the female clothing. You're allowed to wear anything you like. Some kids like to experiment, and as part of their growth, this is encouraged here, though from your reaction, it sounds like maybe you're not quite ready for that. Take a look in the drawers on the left, and I believe you'll find what you're looking for."
"Oh, I was afraid a big mistake had been made, and I'd already dumped the bag down the laundry chute. That was where it went, wasn't it?"
"Yes, that's where it goes. I'm sorry about not explaining it to you. I talked it over with Renee last week at her interview, and I was so looking forward to seeing your reaction to the keyboard, I forgot to tell you. Before you sign off, that reminds me. There's another thing I forgot to mention. Renee also plays a non-standard instrument, and it can be quite loud. That, more than your piano, is why the soundproofing was put in. She probably won't be practicing that much in the room, but we wanted to make sure she could."
"Thanks." Wow, the ends they seem to go to make things work for us.
I clicked the 'end conversation' icon, relieved at this, and went to find the correct drawers. Yep, what I now expected was there to be found. I heaved a sigh of relief and got some on before examining the clothing selection. To say I was amazed by the amount of clothing displayed is an understatement. I ignored the girl's side as a joke, and turned. Wow, even a tux. I grabbed a sport shirt and some slacks. There wasn't a pair of jeans to be seen, but I figured I may as well look decent when meeting the rest of the kids. Dad always says first impressions are important!
I couldn't believe the level of detail and support this place goes into. They have to have outside funding too. There ain't no way all this is government funded! "Noooo" I guess they were not as thorough as they thought. The slacks were so loose they'd fall down. Well, not fall down, but I had a good six inches of extra waist material. And a belt would bunch things up crazy. Oh well, I pulled one on and looked in the mirror. Yea, I look dorky. I gave a sigh. Well nothing for it. I got some socks and shoes, and went to take care of my meal menu. Wow, that's some list.
About then, I heard a tapping from the door, so I stood up and said "Come on in, Renee."
She opened the door, and came in. "Dan." and then she stopped and stood there, staring. "What happened? You always looked sharp that week we had together."
"I dunno, my mom always had to take in my pants 'cause I've got this narrow waist. I guess in their background checking they missed that, since mom never sent them out to a tailor."
Renee got a thoughtful look. Or at least that's how I interpreted it. "What's up? You can't sew, can you?"
That got a short laugh, "No, but I have an idea that might work, if you're willing to try."
"I'll try almost anything Renee. I look like a dork like this."
"Okay, wait here." She went into my closet, and shortly came out with a similar pair of slacks. "Try these, and let me know how it works. I'll go back next door." After she did, I switched. They actually fit. I didn't recall there being two pair like this. Hmmm. I put my shoes back on, and knocked on the door. It opened right up.
"I thought that might work."
"What, did they just have one bad pair in there? I didn't remember seeing a second pair like this when I looked."
"Umm, that's 'cause I got it from the other side of the wardrobe, Dan."
"What! You mean these are girls slacks?"
The next chapter is at the editor's for final proofing, and will hopefully be reviewed fairly soon. The 3-4 chapters after that are in first draft, so things are moving right along. Any comments you might have would be greatly appreciated.
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
She nodded. "There was an older guy in the orphanage that had the same problem. They wouldn't tailor his stuff. Eventually someone came up with the idea of women's jeans and it worked for him. At least your shoes fit! He had to get women's trainers, too."
I shook my head. "Thanks, but please don't tell anyone, until I can talk to Dan about getting the wardrobe fixed!"
"Sure enough, do you want to go find the other pair that's here?" At my blank look, she continued, “The car that was a little behind us. They may almost be done too.”
Light dawned, “I guess I’m still a bit addled by the slacks issue, Renee. How could we find their rooms? I mean, there are no signs on the doors?
"I checked on the computer for year mates and we've got the eight rooms at this end of the corridor."
"Okay. I guess we just go and knock until we find someone in."
"Nah, the computer says if they've checked in. There are blanks in the other rooms."
"You're pretty good with the computer, aren't you?"
"I get by. Let's go."
We headed out my door to the corridor and went right across. At her nod, I knocked. And heard a "Just a sec." from inside.
A minute later, a blonde girl opened the door. "Hi"
"Hello, this is Renee and I'm Dan. I guess we're year mates."
"I'm Ingrid. Fran's not ready to see folks yet. She's still playing with her wardrobe."
I laughed a bit by this. "We just wanted to introduce ourselves." At that point, two people were coming down the hall. A petite blonde lady and small brunette were coming down the hall. When she noticed us, she beckoned and the three joined her at a door further down the hall.
“Hi there, I'm Tracy Dine, and this is Sally Smythson." She looked at us, and turning to Sally said. These are three of your year. Ingrid, Dan and Renee." she said indicating us.” Turning to the rest of us, “You'll have a lot of time to get to know each other later. I need to get Sally situated, so I'll see you again at dinner."
Hmmm. She knew us without introductions. I wonder how. I’ve seen dad do that. He said it came from good advanced briefing. Why would SHE have been briefed on us? Well, Dan’s a shrink and he brought Renee and me. And, he interviewed us. Maybe Tracy interviewed Sally. But that means they talked to each other, and she’s probably a shrink too. I bet the shrinks are the selection committee, or at least have input there. That’d be how she knew us. I nodded to my self at having figured out a reasonable answer. Renee and I started heading back down the hall and a moment later Ingrid followed. I'd noticed she'd stayed and greeted Sally a moment longer. Guess I should have, too. Oh well.
"Thanks for coming over Dan and Renee. I'd best go dig Fran out or we'll end up being late. From what Kate Mayhew said we're not supposed to roam around much until we get our PDAs."
"Thanks, Dan said that to me, too."
She looked at me. "Huh"
"Sorry, Dan Mathews. He brought us in today."
"Ahh, I’ll see you just before six. Maybe we can all walk to the common room together!"
"Good idea, Ingrid." I said before Renee and I went back into the room.
I indicated the lounging area. She sat in one of the chairs, so I took the other. "Why were you were so quiet out there, Renee?"
"I get nervous around people I've not met before, and at the end, I was surprised she knew us."
"I think I figured out the how she knew us part, but, it was your idea to go see them."
"Yeah, I know. I wanted to, but was afraid, too."
"I'm glad you know me then. This place would be hard to deal with if I didn't have anyone to talk to."
"You can talk to me any time, Dan." I smiled at that.
"From what Dan said, I guess that's kinda important if we're supposed to be some sort of team." I heard her make a sound, and looked at her face. "What's wrong?"
"I've been an outsider, an outcast, for the past six years, Dan. You're the first person in all that time that's really been nice to me for no reason. "
"I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. I'm used to it."
"Well, it's NOT okay. You have one friend now for sure!" I said, perhaps a little more forceful than I'd meant to, because Renee flinched. "Sorry, but I'll be your friend, if you let me."
"Thanks. You must have left lots of friends back at Westminster."
I shook my head. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I've never really had any close friends. We moved so much, I've been afraid to."
"But you talk to everyone?"
"It's not the same thing. Sure, I can talk to folks. I had to learn that with dad being in the diplomatic corps, but to actually talk and say something? I've probably told you more about me in the past five minutes than I have anyone outside my family in the past five years!"
We both sat there quietly for a few minutes after that outburst. I realized that I'd actually been honest with myself as well as with her in my outburst. I'd never really told anyone why I avoided making friends before, and kept folks at arms length. "Sorry about that outburst, Renee."
"It's okay Dan. I was just surprised; almost as surprised as I am that we've been talking about stuff and not things. Oh, I don't know how to put it. It's like I feel I should trust you or something, and I can't understand that. Being an orphan teaches you that you can't trust people. I mean most social workers want you to think they’re being nice, but they don’t really listen.. And the other kids, well, they’re trying to get into homes mostly or are real trouble."
"Ummm. I'm not sure how to respond to that Renee. Now I'm afraid I'll come to disappoint you. I mean I'll probably shove my foot in my mouth sooner or later, and ruin things. Please tell me if I get off base or start run on or something."
"Only, if you do the same!"
I agreed, and we sat quietly for a bit. “Dan, a bit ago you said you figured out how that lady knew who we were.”
I nodded. “I figure Tracy must have interviewed Sally, just like Dan interviewed us. And, I figure that all of the interviewers are probably either on the selection committee or at least review all of the candidates so she may well know a lot of stuff about us.”
Renee shuddered at that. “I’m not sure I want anyone to know that much about me.”
That hurt a bit, but I kept a straight face. At least she’s talking to me some. Maybe one day she’ll tell me more.
Then, from out of nowhere, she said. "You actually play that?"
I nodded sheepishly. "I'm afraid the Piano's my instrument. Dan told me in my interview I'll have to learn something else for playing in the orchestra."
"They let you bring your own?"
"No, sorry, they put that in here. Since I only play one instrument, the piano and, since I'm not good enough to play with the orchestra, I'll need to learn something else. I hope they don't kick me out cause of this though."
"I'm sure they won't. Play something for me please?"
"You sure?"
She nodded.
"Gotta warm up a little first." I said, as I sat down. I played a few scales, and several of the Hanon exercises. I remember hating those when I was just starting. What to play. Hmmm. I figured something sorta light would be a good place to start. I started with Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin, being my favorite of his rags. Then I shifted to Piano Man by Billy Joel. I figured everyone had to play it. It was also difficult to play it like he did, rather than the easy arrangements that were most available. My teacher back in Italy said his stuff was good and challenging, since they caused me to stretch my hands. I still couldn't reach all of the chords he played. My hands just aren't large enough. Then, I decided I should do some classical music too. I played Bagatelle in A minor by Beethoven, figuring it would be recognized. I stopped after that.
"Dan, you don't know what you're talking about when you say you're not that good. That was beautiful!"
I just sat there, not knowing what to say. Folks had said nice stuff at recitals and such before. But, I'd thought they were really just being nice. I knew I'd grown past some teachers, but could I actually be that good? I decided to take a chance, and play something of mine. "Tell me what you think about this please?" And I started to play in a minor key. I finished it about ten minutes later, and she just sat there. I just sat there, unable to turn around. I couldn't bear to look. Finally, I had to break the silence. "That bad huh?"
"That was amazing,” she whispered. “I've listened to a lot of classical music, but I’ve never heard that one before. Who wrote it?"
Still keeping my back to her, I said in a quiet voice "I did."
"That was so beautiful. It made me think about walking through the park on a sunny day."
I couldn't believe it. That's what I'd tried to capture ...
"What did you call it?"
"I never did name it. You're the first person to hear the whole thing."
"Wow. That's so cool." About then, my computer chimed.
"I wonder what that is?" I said as I walked over and woke up the screen. "It's a note from Ingrid reminding us to get out and meet like we agreed. We can talk some more later."
"Okay. Please help me, if I need to talk."
"Sure."
With that, we joined the others in the corridor. "Hi, Ingrid, sorry we were late."
"It's okay Dan; I just wanted to get us all down there together." She told me as we headed down toward the common room.
As we walked, she went on, "I'm Ingrid, as you probably guessed, and this clothes horse is my study partner, Fran."
She turned to me and nodded, and I figured would continue the introductions. "Hi I'm Dan, not to be confused with the staff guy Dan.” This got a chuckle or two as I’d hoped. “And this is my partner Renee. You're next, Sally." She was the only other person I knew.
"I'm Sally, as Dan said, and this is my study partner, Pru."
The two guys that hadn't said anything yet looked at each other, and shrugged. One said "I'm Mark and I figured this was my study partner when he came out of his room. I barely had time to get all the stuff done before you message called me out here.
"Well, I … I … I … I g … g … guess that l leaves me. I … I … I’m Wayne."
“Hi Wayne.” She was good, ignoring his stutter. I could see how much it disturbed him. “Now that we all know each other’s names, we can work to get to know each other better later. I just wanted us to have a chance to know each other's names before anything else happened, or we got asked or something."
"Good idea, Ingrid." She seems to be on the ball. That's good.
When we arrived at our common room, Dan was standing outside. "Hi Dan, are you our keeper?"
He laughed at that. "Well, until they can find someone qualified. It's nice to see you all arriving together. Sorry you don't have time to get to know each other now, but the Head will be here momentarily. Do you mind if I wait inside with you?"
"Guys, do you mind if Mr. Mathews waits with us? He's the guy that interviewed me, and delivered Renee and me here this afternoon." Nobody said no. Wow, I guess they were serious about nobody coming in without our invite.
"I guess that's settled." Ingrid led us all into the room. "What happens now, Mr. Mathews?"
"As I said, the head will be here in a few minutes to welcome you. He'll introduce some folks, probably say a few words." Before he could say any more, there was a knock on the door. Since I was closest, I went over and opened it. Before me stood the blonde we'd seen with Sally, two other ladies, and two guys. "Hi Ms. Dine, I think you must be the head and staff."
"Yes Dan, and it’s Tracy." said Tracy, "Do you mind if we come in?" Wow. I seem keep to say that, but this place really deserves it!
"Sure, we're expecting you." I said, as I got out of their way.
When the door was closed again, the middle aged looking man started talking. I'd guessed he was the head, but his first words confirmed that. "Good evening everyone, and welcome to Hayfield Hall. My name is Mr. Hobson, and I'm the headmaster at this school. Since we recognize that it is very emotional leaving your families and familiar environments at such an early age, we have a support team in place to help you and look after you. They can override everything and everyone at the school, including me. So it's a good idea to stay in their good books."
Several of us laughed at this. I remained over on the side, next to Renee.
"I'll introduce the support team. You appear to have already met Daniel Mathews."
"Just Dan" I said, so only Renee could hear. I could feel her relax a little with that.
Dan smiled waved at all of us "That's Dan, please. Daniel sounds so formal, like you're talking to my dad or something."
"Sorry, Dan." Seeing the grin on Mr. Hobson’s face, I figured
they went through this every year as a ground breaker. I'd seen that kinda stuff done at some of my parents’ parties. "Moving on, we've got Tracy Dine.” Tracy waved at the rest of the year. She looked to be about the same age my folks were, or Mr. Hobson for that matter.
"Next we have Katherine Mayhew, or Kate as she's sometimes called." This was an older lady; I'd almost go as far as to say grandmotherly.
"Only by my friends, young man," she responded with a smile.
"Next we have ..." started Mr. Hobson before he was interrupted by the other lady.
"Tweedledum and Tweedledee" she said, as she and the man next to her stepped forward. They both seemed to be much younger than the rest. "No, actually, I'm Becky Thompson and this lummox over here is Keith Thompson." He waved at that. "And, in case any of you were wondering at the coincidence of our similar last names, I'll tell you a secret. He's my husband, so hands off, young ladies!" She looked sternly at us for a moment, before breaking into a giggle.
Mr. Hobson just shook his head. "That's three years in a row they've done something to throw off my introduction." They both gave him a bow, and stepped back. "Well, in any event, you all have been assigned a support person. They are always available. If for some reason they aren't available, such as being ill or perhaps they are with another student in your or one of the other years, please feel free to approach any of the others." He indicated for all of us to find seats. I sat down with Renee on one of the double chairs. I noticed that Ingrid and Fran did as well. The others seemed to be taking the single chairs.
Mr. Hobson took a deep breath, as the support team sat down. "Okay, one thing that all the test results show is that you are all extremely intelligent, but had some issue or issues holding you back from excelling. At Hayfield Hall, we hope you will be able to excel. It is likely you will take your GCSE exams earlier than you would have done in your old schools. You may even take some before the year is out. That's a good two years earlier than normal. All students will study all lessons. Each of you will study one subject in much more depth. You'll be the expert on that subject for your year, and sometimes for the school. I'm going to call people's names. I'm not going to ask you to speak, but please just stand so everyone sees who you are. Your support person will then indicate your study major. Let's start with Sally Smythson.
Sally stood up, and Tracy stepped forward, and said "You'll be specializing in statistics and statistical analysis."
"Cool!" I guessed she liked that.
“Next, we have her study partner, Prudence Winter. Becky Thompson got up and said, "Pru will be specializing in modeling."
Someone said, "She's tall enough." Becky turned, saying, "Yes, but that's the wrong kind of modeling. I'm referring to building miniatures of things like ships, buildings, even entire dioramas. It includes the use of different materials and other skills. You'll all get to experience some of this, and she's already got some practice at this."
With that, they both sat down and Mr. Hobson said, "I'll take that interruption to remind all of you that this is a school that is here to help our students. We don't tolerate any kind of discrimination or harassment. I may as well go ahead and do the other part of my talk now, too. You probably all noticed the clothing selection in your rooms.” He looked around to see our reactions I guess. “Any of you can wear anything you like while here. Some of you will be doing more experimenting than others. This is fine and encouraged. In fact, periodically we require you to dress in a manner different from your norm. That is, if you normally present yourself as a male, you'll be required to present yourself as a female, and vice versa. If your normal presentation is androgynous, you'll have to pick male or female on those days. The one exception is the three weeks prior to a field trip. You will be required to spend the remainder of the time before the trip, and do the trip as you present yourself on the day the trip is announced."
Mark chimed in. "So, I'll occasionally have to wear a dress?"
"That's a distinct possibility, Mark."
"Ho, boy, will you folks get a laugh on that day!"
"Well Mark, that leads me to the next bit on the topic. For those of you that desire, or need, to live and dress in a way different from how you've lived so far, or who need help in learning to pass as a male or female, there are a couple series of lessons available to help in this. These classes are designed to allow you to learn what you need to pass.” Turning to look directly at Mark, he continued. “Yes Mark, after successfully completing these classes, even you will have no trouble convincing the world you're a girl."
Wow, that has to be the strangest thing I’ve heard yet. I raised my hand.
"Yes Dan?"
"I think I just added up a few things. This is one of the big reasons the school doesn't allow visitors, isn't it?"
"I don't know about big, but yes, it is one reason. A related reason is that some of the students in the school are actually transitioning. For those of you that don't understand that, I'll go into more detail. Some people are born with the body of one sex, but internally, they are the other and know this from an early age. Others feel issues, but just don't know. Those that decide they are in the wrong bodies, we help transition to the sex they should have had. No, I'm not talking major surgery here; it’s against the law to perform reassignment surgery before a person is eighteen. But we help in every other way. The classes and experiences you all go through helps them as well. Does that answer your question Dan?"
"Yes sir." I looked more carefully over at Fran, wondering. It couldn’t be, could it?
"Nice observation. Well, we may as well continue with you, Dan Humphrey." I stood up, and so did Dan Mathews. "Dan here doesn't play a normal orchestral instrument, so he'll be learning percussion with two of our experienced percussionists. You'll occasionally get to hear him on his primary instrument as well. Dan will be specializing in a hybrid of Intuitive Thinking and Operations Analysis. You just saw him do some of this when he brought together several independent pieces of information and deduced something else not directly implied by any of them. You'll all have some training in this area, but he seems to have a knack for it."
"A bit long winded, but a useful description, Dan. We'll go on to his study partner Renee MacInnis."
I gave her an encouraging smile, and she stood up. Dan got up again. "I knew that was next. I probably shouldn't have bothered sitting down. In any event, Renee will be specializing in Logistics. She's also got a unique instrument, but it's her second one. I'm sure you'll hear it later." She sat down almost as fast as Dan stopped talking. I gave her another smile and got a nod for my efforts.
"On to Ingrid Olafson."
Kate Mayhew stood up. "Ingrid will be your networking guru. She'll be learning all there is to know, well a lot of it anyway, about computer communications. In any event, she'll be learning Local and Wide Area Networking, securing them, as well as breaching them."
"Way to go, Ingrid. That’s how you knew how to send us messages?"
She nodded, "Sorta. I can find my way around computers okay. It's just more fun to see how they hook up."
"What’s this about messages?" Mr. Hobson asked.
"I sent them all messages so we could get together and come to the common room as a group."
"Nice forethought, though I didn't realize that function was turned on yet. He looked over at Kate."
"It's there, just hidden. She's not the first to find it before the intros."
Mr. Hobson nodded, and then continued. “And Ingrid's study partner is Fran Becker."
Fran stood up, and as Kate was still standing, she continued. "Fran will be specializing in power generation and transmission systems.”
"And we come to our final pair. Mark Springer."
Tracy stood up with Mark and said "Mark will get to further his hobby in radio controlled toys by specializing in automation systems." It was obvious that he was happy with this idea.
"Mark, you can stop dancing and sit down now." Once he did, Mr. Hobson continued. "And finally we come to Mark's study partner Wayne Woogan."
Wayne got up, and Keith said "Wayne will be specializing in ceramics." Mark gave a bark of laughter at this, before stifling it. "No Mark. Not plates and bowls, though it may start out there. You might want to look up the field of ceramics. There are prototype engine blocks made of certain kinds of ceramics. They can sustain extremely high temperatures without shape distortion. In addition, they’re significantly lighter than corresponding metal blocks."
Mark got kinda still at this, and then said, "Sorry, Wayne."
"Now that this is sorted, let’s get on to the next item. When you return to your rooms, you'll find that your schedules have been made available on the computer system. You'll notice that your classes are together, apart from the time you're taking the extra sessions for your specialty. The entire school has orchestra practices Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons between four and six. This is on your schedule. In addition, there's a larger practice Sunday afternoons between three and six. I'm glad to see two trumpeters in the class. We were short there, with our previous trumpeters graduating last year." He turned to Kate. "How do we always get into these binds, with an entire section graduating together?" Turning back to us, "Two of you" nodding at Renee and me "bring different instruments to our orchestra. I understand our head of music intends to take advantage of this over the course of the year."
He paused, apparently looking around for questions. I wondered about Renee's other instrument. I'd have to ask her about it later. Dan's comment that it was loud, had me thinking.
"Well, there's one last thing before we go and eat, sleeping arrangements. As you've no doubt noticed, you and your study partner have interconnecting doors. That's to facilitate your studying, and to make it easier for you to support each other in times of need. Many of you may be lonely, having moved away from your families." No surprise he avoided looking in our direction. Nice that he's not reminding Renee that she doesn't have a family.
"If you fall asleep, in the same room, nobody is going to care or know and you won't be told off. However, we do ask one thing, keep your underwear on. At your age, it's illegal to have sex, and we don't want the school shut down. This, after all, is NOT a brothel." I could feel a few eyes on Renee and me. Just because we were the only mixed pair didn't mean we'd be doing that kind of thing, or were we. Hmmm. Come to think of it, Ingrid and Fran had the same support person. I looked over again. Her business, like the head said. I’d have to ask Dan about my guess when I talked to him about my pants. Glad nobody noticed them, though.
A couple of the other kids laughed a little at the joke. I missed it while thinking.
"And with that, are any of you hungry?" Of course we jumped up at that. Following his lead, we went back to the main entry area. I just loved all the wood. He led us down a corridor. About twenty meters down, he opened a door on the left. I always laughed at that. My folks keep referring to things in yards. What a lark. I'm glad I learned meters; it's so much easier and makes sense! There were five large round tables, and a smaller table off to the side. The tables were set the way I'd expect a formal dining room to be set up.
Dan said to us "Each year has eight students," as he guided us to a table. "One person from the support team will sit at each year's table. That rotates around, and tonight, you're again stuck with me. The headmaster will sit in the tenth seat at one of the year's tables, unless we've got guests. If we do, he'll sit with them at the sixth table."
I noticed he had Ingrid to his right, and Fran sat next to her, so I steered Renee and myself to the seats on his left. The other four spread around, I wondered why the seat next to Renee got left open. Coincidence I decided. They missed out though, because it put their backs to the middle. I looked around, and yep. All of the support staff had their backs to the outside of the room so they could easily see all of us. I bet they did that on purpose.
I saw a girl on the furthest table stand up, and nudged Renee. "We all want to welcome the new students to Hayfield Hall and hope you have as good a time here as we all have." Then the rest on the other four tables stood back up and applauded. Since they did that without prompting, I'm guessing that it's a tradition, which would make her the head girl. Best keep an eye on her.
Renee poked me under the table, and looked around. "With us again, Dan?"
"Sorry."
"As I was saying, members of the year serve their own table. If you'll notice, you'll see two students from the other tables getting up. Dan, you and Renee can do it tonight. Just follow the other students."
When we got into the room, there was a cart for us, with names next to each plate. As we were heading back, I noticed the older kids were doing it up like waiters, and whispered to Renee "Napkins in lap first, serve from the left". She nodded. Danged. I'd never thought sitting through so many state dinners would ever come in handy.
When we got to the table, I made a point of going up to Dan first and offering him his napkin. When he'd taken it, I placed his plate in front of him from the left. I saw Renee start to do the same to Mark around the table, so I figured she'd be okay. Dan gave me a nod when I'd done. After serving the rest, we went back to our seats to eat as well. "Well done, you two. We normally have to give instructions. You sure you've not waited tables before?" he asked with a chuckle. "Anyone notice what they did?"
Ingrid piped up. "You mean the serving from the left?"
"Exactly, that, and offering all of us our napkins. I'll go ahead and tell you that when we're done, they'll be taking it away on our right sides and we'll get a dessert course after that."
Mark piped up at that. "Are we going to learn how to be waiters, too?"
Dan looked over at him. "Yes. But it's more that. This lets you know what to expect, and how to behave at a formal meal. We'll even have some multi-course meals where you learn which forks, spoons and such to use."
I bet it also let them cut down on total staff! Interesting thought … Is it to save money, or to reduce the number that interact with us? I bet it’s the later.
"There's more than one?" came from Mark again.
"Yes. Don't worry about it for now, but you'll see. I hope you're all enjoying the food." We all nodded at that. "Well, get used to it. I find the food one of the special benefits here. Don't hesitate to experiment on the food, too. Also, if you think of something you’d like, but don’t see, let someone know. I've yet to taste anything that was less than marvelous." He paused then, “One more thing. When it’s your turn to wait the table, it’ll show up on your calendar. And, before any of you ask, yes, you can trade turns, but you should log the swap in most of the time. In addition, there will also be times that a last minute change is made, like for illness. We don’t have people with colds serving the food. I don’t know about you, but I like that last rule. Imagine a plate being offered, a big sneeze, and what would happen to the plate.” The last bit was said with a smile. “Such a waste of good food!”
As we were delivering the last of the dishes to the kitchen, I said laughing, "I'm glad we don't have to wash, too."
“Me to Dan.” Renee replied, smiling.
Hmmm, I wonder why they’re all still at the table. I looked over at the other tables. They’re mostly near their tables too.
As we arrived, Dan said, "I kept the others here because it's common for a year to return to the common room following dinner. Doesn't always happen, but it's common. I wanted to give you all a chance on your first night."
"Thanks, Dan. I needed to ask you something anyway, and didn't want to have to page you again." I turned to the rest of them, "You don't mind if I catch up?"
Ingrid looked at me, gave a quick nod before she said, "Sure, see you back there in a few. Don't get lost, or we'll have to come find you two."
It hadn't occurred to me that Renee would stay, but I guess it made sense, since she knew part of the issue and was part of the rest of it.
As the rest trooped off, Dan said. "I take it you've come up with some more questions. Should we just grab a few chairs here? Or do you want to go to my office?"
I looked around, and not seeing anyone else still around, "Here's probably okay."
"Okay" he said, as he grabbed a chair and spun it around. “Welcome to my office away from my office. What seems to be the issue?"
"Two things, actually. Let's hit the easy one first. My clothing."
He looked at me, "Looks like it fits well to me." At which Renee gave a little giggle, which got his attention.
"Ummm. Yea, that's the issue. See, these slacks came from the RIGHT side of the closet. Nothing on the left, fit."
"You're kidding, right?" Renee giggled a little more. He looked at her. "Apparently not. I don't know how they could have messed that up."
"Umm. My mom's been taking a couple inches out the waist of my pants for several years. She said I‘d apparently inherited her big hips."
"Hmmm. Well, we can certainly take care of that issue for you, but it could take a little time. Whose idea was it to use the ladies slacks?"
I nodded, indicating Renee.
"That was quick thinking there, Renee."
"A kid in the orphanage had to wear girls jeans and trainers for the same reason."
"That's still good thinking. And Dan, it's good you were willing to go ahead and wear them."
"I didn't know they were girls when I put them on, Dan. Renee didn't tell me until after I'd changed into them."
"Good for both of you. I’m glad to see you both already looking out for each other. Well, I guess the question is how to get through the next week or so until we can correct the problem."
"He could experiment as a girl," said Renee giggling.
I probably turned a bright shade of red at that. "Umm. I don't think I'm ready for that, despite what the head said earlier. I think I'd be a pretty ugly girl."
"Not really, Dan. You have the hips for it. That's one of the things many of our genetic males have issues with when trying to present themselves. But, if you want to try, that is an option."
"Can't I just keep using the girl's slacks with my normal tops?"
"Of course, remember, Mr. Hobson said most of the time you could wear anything you wanted."
"Okay. I probably will do that. I hope there's enough." A thought just came to me. "You don't have to tell anyone else, do you?"
"Just the staff, to correct the clothing issue. A few of the older kids might figure it out, but if you act natural, like you have tonight, you should continue to be fine with your year."
"Thanks."
"Now, you said there was something else."
I looked at Renee. “I noticed that we both have you for a counselor and that Ingrid and Fran have Ms. Mayhew. He gave me a look at that. “Ummm, do you always assign the same support person to mixed pairs, and if so, are they a mixed pair like the Head indicated some kids are?”
“Astute question and I can only answer part of it. Whether or not Ingrid or Fran are genetically female is their business. If and when they tell the rest of you, you’ll know. One thing the head didn’t say, was that you must refer to people the way they are presented. On those days when you need to present yourself as a female, as part of your education, you’ll need to pick a feminine name. And Renee, you’ll have to do the other.”
We both nodded. We both sat there quiet.
He continued. “Is there any particular reason for the rest of your question?”
"Initially, I thought we were the only mixed pair in the year. Then, when I saw we had the same shrink, I was thinking maybe it was related. Later, when I saw that Ingrid and Fran had Ms. Mayhew, I became confused and looked more carefully at them. Then I remembered Ingrid saying Fran had been playing with the clothing a lot, and I added in Mr. Hobson’s comment about wearing what we wanted, and transgendered kids. I looked over at them again and wondered about them. All that, plus some things you said in the interview and yesterday.”
"A lot of thinking you did there. Did you come to any conclusions?"
"Mostly questions, but a few guesses."
"Go ahead."
"You think we'll be good for each other, and you think that if either of us talks to you in private, it helps that you're also helping our friend. Also, you think that there are, were, or will be greater issues for the two of us, than the other six, except maybe Ingrid and Fran. Finally, you expect us to become much more than just study partners, don't you."
He looked at us closely, and appeared to be coming to a decision. "That's substantially correct." He kept a close look on both of us. "You've helped each other more than expected already, showing each other a degree of trust that is really surprising in two that are just getting to know each other. We expected some of this due to your profiles, but just not quite this fast. Yes, I saw you signaling to Renee when serving. Well done. But, back to your issue, I'm here for both of you, either apart or together as you need. Renee, I want to thank you for staying with Dan while he asked these questions. There should be no secrets between the two of you. When you decide to share your pasts, is up to you. But eventually it'll help you each better understand each other, and know when to be there for the other."
‘Wow, this is heavy stuff!’ I looked over at Renee, to see how she was taking it. She looked a little scared of something.
"If either of you need me, you've just to page me. Once you get your PDAs, it's even easier, since I’ll be programmed into a speed dial. Speaking of which, we need to get you yours. Is there anything else?" He looked at both of us. "Okay, why don't you head back to your common room, Kate should be there passing out the PDAs for your year group. I’ll send her a note that you’re on your way.”
“We won’t be in trouble will we?”
“No. Your personal growth comes first. Remember, you were told that the support staff can override the rest?” I nodded. “Well, if I say this meeting was important, it was, and that’s all there is to it.”
I gave a sigh of relief and thanked him.
“One more thing.”
I looked up. “You can call all of us on the support staff by our first names, that’s why we told them to you, and let’s not mention to the others that I’m a shrink, okay?”
I nodded agreement and then it hit me. “All the support staff are, aren’t they?” Not waiting for him to confirm it, I went on. “And, you want us used to talking to you before admitting you might be more than we thought.” Continuing aloud, but more to myself, “Yeah, it hangs together. We’ll have issues, and the support staff that can override teachers and administrators. What kind of place have I gotten myself into?” My voice trailed off at the end.
“Dan, you’ve gotten yourself into what we consider an outstanding school that will let you grow however you need to. I’d like you both to keep that speculation to yourselves. You’ll probably talk about it on your own, which is fine, but don’t bother the others with it for now.” I nodded slowly, and I assume Renee did as well. “I’m glad you brought this speculation to me, rather than discussing it with your year right now. In the future, if you speculate on something disturbing to you, please continue to bring them to me. I am here to support you, you know.”
“Thanks Dan.”
“Okay you two, go get your PDAs.”
We started back. "Dan, did you really figure all that stuff out?"
I nodded. “Yea, I’m not sure I’m glad I did, though.”
“Yea, I don’t know if I’m happy knowing he’s a shrink or not. We had to talk to them at the orphanage, and some of them were not nice.”
“I’m sorry I got you into this, Renee.”
“No, like Dan said, we’re supposed to be partners in learning stuff, so I guess this really is something I should know.”
“Thanks, Renee.”
“If you ever need a sounding board for your thinking, Dan, I’m here. Maybe I can tell you you’re way off before you go talk to Dan.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. The more I see, the more I think there’s stuff going on here beyond just a simple school. And, I don’t think it’d be a good idea to ask the wrong questions.”
“You think something would happen?”
I thought a minute. “No. I’m sure that’s not it. Otherwise the background check my dad did on the school would have turned something up. But maybe there’s stuff we just don’t want to know about.”
“What could possibly be going on?”
“Well, I dunno. Maybe there’s a law about helping transgendered kids. But that really doesn’t make any sense. I’m probably just imagining things, Renee. Sorry I asked him about your past, even obliquely.”
“It’s okay Dan. You didn’t go behind my back. I'll try to tell you what he hinted at, but I’m not ready right now."
"Hey, it wasn’t meant as pressure, Renee! I'm there for you, too, if you need me."
"Thanks Dan. That'll take some getting used to." I smiled to her. In some ways, it was like Kirk being back, but in others better. The more I saw of this place, the more amazed I was.
We got to the common room, Kate was there giving out the PDAs. "Hi, folks, sorry we’re late.”
"Hey man, we get PDAs!" chimed Mark, showing his.
“Well Dan, since you and Renee are here now. I can get the two of you taken care of as soon as I finish with Fran.
I watched her go through a process, and realized how we’d be logging in. "Wow, first retinal scans, now biometric thumb print recognition."
"Got it in one. Once registered to you, only you can log into your PDA. They're linked into the school network. They're phones, messaging devices, terminals, browsers. They're synced to your desktops, as well." She kept this babble going, as she finished up with Fran, and registered Renee with her PDA. "When you look on your desktops, you'll see a sync folder. Anything there will show up on your PDA, and anything on the PDA shows up there. Your schedule appears on the PDA, and if there are updates or changes to your schedule, you'll be notified - depending on how you've set up your notifications. The default is a vibration followed by a chime. While you can turn the notifications off, your support person can override that, and cause an audible alert anyway. I don't generally recommend turning alerts completely off, as who knows, they could be calling to let you know you won the lottery if you respond within five minutes." Most of us chuckled dutifully. "Your default home screen has apps to call your support staff, call your study partner, and once established, call your year leader. That won't happen until after you've gotten to know each other better."
Finally, she was down to the last one. "I guess this must be yours Dan.” She held the two PDAs close together and keyed a sequence on the one that was to be mine. "Okay, like the others, swipe your thumb across the sensor until it registers." Two swipes, and a flash. "Okay" she took it back, and keyed in something else and returned it. "Try it now." I slid my thumb and was greeted by a home screen. This was way nice.
"It's going to take me a bit to get used to this. It's a lot nicer than the cell phone I had."
"It has to be to do everything we need." Then she turned to all of us. "Your PDA is to be on your person anytime you're outside your room, from now on. Do any of have any questions?"
"There any games on here?" Mark again. What's with that guy?
"Scroll to the end, you'll see a 'Stuff' icon, click that. You'll see a bunch of the configuration areas where you can customize how your PDA works. Scroll to the end of that, and you'll see 'More Stuff'. Select it, and there you go."
"Whose idea was 'Stuff' and 'More Stuff'?" asked Ingrid.
"I understand our IT staff thinks it has a sense of humor. You'll discover a lot more games, including multiplayer ones on the network as well. You're free to play them, as long as you keep up elsewhere. If your grades suffer, you will be cut off. Any more questions?"
I guess most of us were playing with our toys. I figured I would later; I just wanted to look around and see if I could tell anything about my new classmates. I saw Ingrid doing the same and nodded to her. That girl is on the ball! It seemed Renee was still sticking by me.
"Okay one last bit. There's a rule that you all have to be in your bedrooms by ten. Years four and five have a midnight curfew. So, you've got from now until ten to get to know each other. Normally you have the time from last lessons until curfew to use any way you like, assuming any homework's done. If you look at your PDAs, and select the schedule applet …" she waited a minute for all of us to do that. "Okay, if you scroll to tomorrow, you'll see the orchestra rehearsal and then the evening meal at half six. That's the normal evening meal time, unless otherwise noted. We were at half seven today, so we could get the introductions done." She paused Again. "Okay, last time for questions before I leave you to yourselves." She paused again. "Okay then. I'll see you at breakfast."
I closed the door behind her, then turned to Renee. "You okay?"
She nodded "Later Dan, OK?" I nodded, then saw Ingrid making her way over.
"What's up with you two?"
"Nothing much."
"You're not holding out are you?" I gave her a blank stare. "You knew how to serve the table at dinner. How come?"
"Oh, that. It was easy. You sit through enough of those formal state dinners, you pick stuff up."
"State dinners? Who are you?"
"Nobody really. My dad's just in the diplomatic corps and the family had to attend functions sometimes."
"That's interesting. So that's why you're here in the UK?"
I nodded. "We just moved here from Greece a few months ago."
"That clears up that bit. I'd figured your family was just over here for business or something. I never would have guessed that, though."
There was a chime from everyone's PDAs. As mine was still in my hand I looked at it. "Ahh, ten minute warning note from Kate. I guess she's reminding us, make sure we're in our rooms by ten." I raised my voice, "Best be going. I'll see you all in the morning."
Renee was already at the door. We could hear Ingrid herding the rest of the year toward the door. Hmmm, there she goes again. I'd just figured everyone would come. She made sure. I shrugged. "Are you doing okay Renee?"
She nodded. "Let's get back, Dan."
As we came to her door first, we went in that way.
"Are you going to be okay tonight, Renee?"
"Yeah. Oh, we'd best find you something for tomorrow now, so we're not rushed in the morning."
"Thanks, I'd almost forgotten that." We went over to my closet, and decided on another pair of slacks, and I grabbed a shirt that matched, and hung them on the door.
"Nice choice, Dan. I'd not expected to see such sense in a guy."
"Mom drummed color coordination into our heads so we'd not embarrass Dad." She laughed at that. It was nice hearing her laugh. "You wanna sit and talk some more tonight?"
"We're supposed to be in our rooms in another minute or so."
"We are. Remember the head saying the door was there for a reason?"
"Oh yeah, I guess." We talked for a while after that. I had to fill her in on the school after she'd left, and who else had tested and such. Somehow we got around to me describing when I'd rescued Chris and James, and my discussion with Sensei afterward. That, I think, impressed her more than my intervention on her behalf. I don't think she accepted my comment that I should have found a way to avoid the fight. Eventually she did tell me some of how life was in the orphanage. I could tell it wasn't something she enjoyed talking about. After a bit, we were both yawning and I looked at my PDA.
"Whoa!. I had no idea."
She looked down. "Uh, oh. We're gunna catch it."
"No, we're in our rooms. We just need to find a way to squeeze a full night’s sleep into about four hours."
She got up to head for her room. Before she left, I asked, "Do you mind leaving the door open some? I'm not used to having all my doors closed."
"That's okay. I'll open it back up once I'm changed. Thanks for talking to me, Dan. I don't know why, but I feel better."
"Me too, Renee. Guess I was lonelier than I thought. Thanks for the help."
With that, she closed the door and I gave a sigh. Was I actually getting a friend? We'd talked in a way I'd never talked before, about things I’d never been able to talk to anyone about before. I quickly sent Dan a note that we'd been up late talking, and was surprised to get a response almost immediately. It said, "Good, go to sleep and we'll talk later in the morning."
I put the clothes down the laundry chute, and put my shoes away, did my teeth and such in the en-suite and headed for bed. About then, the door opened part way. "Okay, Dan," I heard.
"Thanks, Renee."
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
What was that noise? I stretched, and thinking it was my alarm, hopped out of bed to run to the bathroom and promptly ran into the wall. "Ouch, whaaaa." Then slowly it sunk into my sleep befuddled brain that I was at school, and not at home, and the room was set up backwards a bit from what I was used to. I knew I’d get used to it eventually, but this disorientation had hit me when we moved to Greece too. That’s why I had no problem at the house in London! The same side of the bed was toward the wall as had been the case in Athens. I walked around the end of the bed, and was headed for the en-suite when I heard a quiet tap at the door.
"Dan, are you okay?"
I walked over to the interconnecting door, and replied, "Yes. Thanks, Renee, you decent?"
"Yeah." Since I had my jammies on, I opened the door, and she came in. She had a robe over whatever she had on.
"Sorry, I forgot where I was, and hopped off the wrong side of the bed when the, alarm I assume, went off." I reached up rubbing my forehead.
She giggled, "I almost did, but the bed was bigger than I was used to, so I had a bit of time to wake up and realize where I was. Besides, it’s not like it’s the first strange bed I’ve been in.” I nodded in understanding. “Seriously, are you okay?”
“I think so. I don’t think I hit hard enough to bruise or anything. It’s a good thing our walls are soundproofed, or I might have had more of the year charging in.”
“I didn’t charge in!”
“No, but it’d have been okay.”
All of a sudden, what I’d said about the rooms being soundproofed clicked for Renee. “What did you mean by soundproofing?”
“Dan said that our walls and doors had been soundproofed because of our instruments and practicing in our rooms. By the way, what is so unusual about what you play?”
She looked a little nervous. “Promise you won’t laugh!”
“Of course.”
“Besides the trumpet, I also play the bagpipes, or at least I used to.”
“Wow, that’s way cool!”
“You mean it?”
“Yeah, I’ve never actually met anyone that really played them. I just got to listen to my mom’s albums and such. One of these days, I want to see the Tattoo in Edinburgh!”
“It’s an awesome experience! My dad took me there when I was six.” She looked sad then; I guess she was remembering her dad, though her next comment might have had something to do with it too. “I’ve probably forgotten how to play much. I’ve not had a chance to play since my first foster home. They sold off my pipes because they said they were too loud, and I couldn’t get a new instrument.” She paused then asked again, “What did you mean about soundproofed?”
“Dan said they’d soundproofed the walls and doors to our rooms, so if we practiced, we wouldn’t disturb the other students.”
“I wonder if that means I’ll get to play the pipes again.” She sounded a bit wistful.
“The head said that two of us had unusual instruments for orchestras, and that the director of music had plans to incorporate them. I bet that means you will.” She looked off into the distance at that. “Who taught you to play?”
“My dad, he was an awesome piper!” At my smile, she said, “No, he was a professional, and open rated, that’s as high as it goes.”
“Sorry. It’s not that I doubted you. You just seemed so happy talking about it.”
“I really loved my mum and dad.” She said, as the tears started. I didn’t know what to do, but, I guess I did okay by opening my arms, ‘cause she rushed in and just hung on.”
After a bit, she eased the crying, and said “Thanks Dan. I don’t know what came over me.”
“You miss your folks, don’t you?”
“More than you can imagine.”
“I can guess a little, but at least I’ll get to see mine again in five years. If it ever gets to you again, I’m here.”
“Thanks Dan, I’ve never done that before.” I looked at her at that.
“Do you need to talk to Dan about it?”
“NO! No shrinks! Sorry, I guess I don’t really trust them, even a nice guy like Mr. Mathews.”
“That’s ‘Just Dan’ you know!” which got a giggle, as was my intention. “We’d best get a move on though. But, if you need or want to chat, we can skip breakfast.”
“No, thanks, I think I’ll be okay. Mum always said breakfast was the most important meal of the day!”
“Mine too! But she’s one of those perky morning people.” Which got another little giggle out of her. “If you’re okay now, we’d best get ready. Let me know when you’re done.”
“Sure, you mind if I leave the door open, Dan? I don’t think I’ll break down again, but if I do … “ Her voice trailed off at the end.
“Of course, Renee. Go ahead now.” I gave her a little push toward her room. Once again I turned toward the en-suite, but stopped and went into the closet first. If we are going to be leaving the connecting door open, I’d best have my change of unders in the en-suite with me. While in the shower, I had to wonder a bit at what had just happened. I mean, I’d been hugging a girl. I couldn’t recall ever doing that before, you can’t count mom or Karen, they’re family!
I was ready a short while later, and went to check on Renee. “Renee, you ready?”
“Just about, come on in!” I checked the time on my PDA as I went in. Looking up, I noticed that she’d decided on a skirt today, and I must say she looked sharp. I looked closely, and couldn’t see any sign of her earlier tears.
“Looking for something?”
“Just making sure nothing showed, Renee. You sounded like you didn’t want anyone else to know you’d been crying.”
She nodded thanks, and finished buckling her sandals. Getting up, “Shall we head over for breakfast?” she asked as she grabbed her own PDA.
Breakfast was nice. Kate Mayhew sat at our table, and seating was more or less as it had been the previous evening when Dan sat with us. I wonder if it’s that we’re already starting to develop habits here at school? Ingrid and Fran took their turn serving and didn’t seem to make any mistakes. I guess our demonstration last night made it easier, that, and the single trip for food. I still couldn’t tell. Fran certainly doesn’t act like a dude, but something isn’t quite hanging true. I dunno, it’s not my business anyway. And, Dan did say treat the other kids the way they present. I shrugged my shoulders. I guess, if there’s something she wants me to know, she’ll tell me. Any way, she seems to be a nice girl.
“You’ve all got full days ahead getting to know your teachers and each other. With the exception of Dan, Renee and Fran, you’ve only got your regularly scheduled classes this week. Your specialized classes will start next week. As the Head mentioned, you’ll have classes together to a large extent. When extra classes or other events are added for you, your schedules will be automatically updated. The three of you will see your extra classes on your schedules now. If any of you are confused as to how to find the classroom, click the show me link in the schedule, and your PDA will map you a course from where you happen to be to the classroom or whatever point is indicated.” She paused, and looked around before continuing, “You’re all doing well this morning. If at any time you have an issue or need to talk to your support person, your PDA’s link to your support person with a single click.”
With that she got up, and indicated that Fran should wait, while the rest of us went off to our class. As we headed off, I saw Ingrid coming, and dropped back and whispered. “You’re not sticking with your study partner?” I saw light dawn, and she gave me a quick smile before turning back as if she’d forgotten something. The rest of us continued on to maths.
As we were heading into lunch, Ingrid came up and said “Thanks for earlier, Dan. You were right.” And then she was back over with Fran. It made me feel good knowing I’d helped there. I wonder how the other four would start to bond, and all of us together, for that matter. Lunch was as good as dinner had been the night before, but I was really looking forward to dinner. I’d ordered something that sounded interesting. However, I was nervous about my first class of the afternoon. “Renee, what do you have after lunch?”
“I’m guessing it’s a music test of some sort, Dan. You too?”
I nodded. “I’m afraid I’ll screw it up, and after they went to the expense of that keyboard, I don’t want to.”
“What do you think Fran’s had to do? She’s not changing instruments or anything.”
I thought about it a minute, recalling her serving this morning, and decided that my decision to not worry about Fran didn’t really apply to Renee. “Did you notice anything different about her this morning?”
She was quiet, thinking I guess, as we walked along. “She’s the only student I saw wearing a dress. But that’s it.”
“I know she doesn’t look like a guy or anything, but something about her doesn’t feel right to me, Renee. And adding that in with my question yesterday to Dan, well, I keep thinking that maybe she’s still learning to be a she.”
Renee stopped, and stood there thinking, then replied. “So, you think she’s taking one of those special classes to help her do it better?”
I nodded.
“It makes sense, Dan, but I don’t think it makes any difference, really.”
“Not in the way we treat her, I know. It was something else it made me think of ...” We were walking again and almost to the point we’d have to split up to go to our classes. “I’ll explain it to you tonight, okay?”
She nodded, “Wish me luck, Dan.”
“Okay ‘Break a leg’,” I said with a smile.
“You too, Dan.”
I went on and ended up in what I think must have been the mansion’s music room. There was a beautiful grand piano sitting there. I didn’t see anyone in the room, so I went over to look at it. It looked to be in good condition. Which, as I thought about it was typical of this school.
“Well, go ahead and sit down, young man.”
I spun around, and standing against the wall. was a middle aged lady.
“I umm … I”
“Sorry, I’m Mrs. Russell, the head music teacher here. We’re here to assess where you are on the piano. You are Dan Humphrey, aren’t you?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Okay then. How about you take a seat and warm up.” I started a quick warm up, and winced each time I hit one of the Fs. Danged that key was flat. I stretched my normal warm up to cover more of the keyboard. It seemed that the rest of the piano was tuned properly.
“Try that piece, please,” she said, indicating the music.
I looked it over, and could see that it made heavy use of the F. Should I just play it as is? It will sound pretty bad with that key so far off. I don’t want to do that, so do I change it, or transpose? I guess if I drop it half a step I can keep things close to how it is written. The tune includes the flat key in the melody occasionally, so I can’t just replace the harmonizing chords. Okay, transpose it is. I nodded to myself, and started slowly. It’s a bit hard transposing on the fly in my head. Luckily, the piece wasn’t that difficult. I made more mistakes than I’d have liked, but I did get through it. When done, I turned around and looked at her, and was happy to discover a smile on her face.
“That was very well done, Dan! Much better than they had led me to expect. Why don’t you tell me why you didn’t play it as written?”
“Well, that F was way flat. If I’d included it, the piece would have been ruined.” At her nod, I continued with why I’d decided to transpose the piece down rather than take some other approach to address the issue. “Some of my mistakes were caused by me trying to drop the sounding of the F when it was needed by the transposition.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me that the key was off and the piano needed tuning?”
“You said to play, and while warming up I checked that the one key was all that was off, so I didn’t want to fail the test.”
“That wouldn’t have failed Dan. Recognizing that a key which was critical to the piece was flat was all that was required for the test. You took it to the next step, which I was very pleased to see.”
I smiled in relief at that.
“Before you get too swell headed, let me show you something.” She indicated that I should stand, and she played the first bit again, but in a different key than I’d chosen. “What do you think?”
“That hit the tone the composer originally intended better than my choice. I’m not sure why it did, but it just did.”
“I’m glad to see we still have something to teach you there!” I looked down sheepishly. “Oh, there’s no need to be embarrassed. “Could you fix the flat note?”
“With a hammer, I probably could get it close enough that most wouldn’t notice it. But it wouldn’t have the rich tone the rest of the piano has.” I was watching her, so I saw the smile light up her face.
“Good tuners are hard to find. I can get it pretty close, too, but we have it tuned carefully when needed. And, I’m afraid George will be very upset with me for mucking with that note. Now, on to the other topic of our session today; I see you studying composition. Ahh, I take it you like that idea.” I nodded pretty vigorously. “How would you like to learn about orchestration as well?”
“I can?”
“Yes Dan. And, from what you’ve shown me today, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see you doing some of our arrangements before you’re finished.” I think my jaw bounced off the floor on that one. “Oh, not any time soon, you have to walk before you can run,” she said, smiling. “And, we will make sure it’s up to our standards before it’s performed. Have no fear on that.”
“That sounds wonderful! Thank you so very much!”
“Now, for what you’ll be playing with our orchestra. Oh, don’t go shrinking back like that. I don’t think you’ll have too much trouble in the percussion section.” I must have winced or something, because she smiled and continued. “No, you’ll not be playing the drums, at least not for a few years. We have two very good drummers. You’ll be starting out on other elements of the percussion section. I suspect I’ll have you start with the glockenspiel.” I guess my perplexity showed, “The glockenspiel is also sometimes known as the bells.” At my continued look, she continued, “Oh not the kind of thing you hold in your hand and ring, though those are lovely instruments in their own right. The bells are similar to the xylophone. The tone bars are laid out like the keys on a piano, and the music is noted the same way. You’ll strike them with beaters.”
“Beaters?” I had this picture of what my mom used to scramble eggs.
She smiled. “They are sticks with a head, designed for striking the bars. Let’s see what was it you Americans call them. Oh, yes, hammers.”
“That isn’t much more help, I’m afraid I’ll need to see it. Your description of the instrument does sound like it will be better than I’d feared.”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine, and by the time of our first concert nobody will have a clue you’ve not been playing for years! Do you have any questions?”
I looked at the beautiful grand piano, sighed, and said “I don’t think so.”
“Wouldn’t you like to play this piano, once it’s tuned that is?”
“Of course, but I assumed it was reserved for staff or such. I mean you’ve already put that wonderful keyboard in my room.”
“No, you are welcome to play this piano, Dan, well, after George takes care of it anyway. If you ever notice it out of tune, just let me know, alright?”
“Oh, thank you!”
“You may not thank me, once I hand you the pieces you’ll be learning,” she said with a smile on her face. “Now run along. I’ll see you at three.”
I had to think a minute and then it occurred to me. “Orchestra rehearsal!”
“Yes, young man. I’ll see you there.”
I went back out, and pulled out my PDA to see if there was anything else scheduled before three. Since there wasn’t anything, I sent Renee a text message that I was out. I figured that if she wasn’t done, she’d ignore it. I got an immediate reply “Back at the room.” I guess hers got over way before mine. Though if Mrs. Russell was the head, I wondered who was checking her out.
I went up to the rooms and tapped on Renee’s door. When she opened it, I saw her standing there with a long black recorder like thing. “Hi Dan, come on in.”
“I’ve not seen a recorder like that before,” I said as I came in.
“Oh, it’s not a recorder. It’s a practice chanter.” At my quizzical look she continued. “My unusual instrument, the Bagpipes, well this is a practice instrument to help learn tunes.”
“Would you play a bit for me?”
“I’ve forgotten so much. I was just trying when you knocked.” She put it to her mouth, and blew a quick something. It sounded off somehow, but internally consistent. I filled that away to ask later.
“Wow, you were playing that when I knocked?” She nodded. “I couldn’t hear a thing; Dan was serious when he said our rooms were sound proofed.”
“But I heard you knock?”
“Yea, that’s right. I wonder ...” I said as I walked back over to the door “Renee, come over here, and let me make some sounds out in the hall, and see if you hear them.” I closed the door, and clapped my hands, then I stomped my feet. “Can you hear any of this?”
At which point Fran open her door. “Yes, Dan, I can hear it fine. Why are you making so much noise out here?”
“Sorry, Fran, I didn’t mean to disturb you.” At which point, Renee opened her door.
“I could hear you too, Dan, loud and clear.”
“Fran, apparently Renee and my rooms are somehow supposed to be insulated against sound coming through going out, but not in. Would you mind going inside your door, and knocking to see if we can hear it out here?”
She gave us a questioning look, and went in and we heard a nice loud rap. “That’s good Fran.”
She came back out then. “I guess you heard me. Now what’s this about insulation in your rooms?”
“I want to figure this out. Would you go into Renee’s room and knock the same way?” She was really giving me a strange look at my request, but complied anyway. “Any time now Fran.” I waited a minute. “You can knock now. I’ve not gone anywhere.” And the door opened.
“I was knocking my knuckles blue. Why couldn’t you hear me?”
“I think it’s that sound proofing Dan talked about.”
“You keep talking about that, but Renee and I both heard you just fine making noises, and you say you heard me knock on my door. That means it’s just Renee’s room, and maybe yours that are strange. What’s the story?”
I was looking at Renee’s door at that point, and absently responded “I sometimes play my piano at strange hours, and Renee might practice her instrument in the room sometimes, instead of going to one of the practice rooms. I guess they didn’t want us disturb the rest of you with our strange hours.” Then more to myself, but so they could hear it, I continued. “Now there must be a microphone and speaker somewhere. It needs to be somewhere here.”
“Dan, what are you looking for?” Renee asked.
“Oh, sorry. I can’t believe that it’s one-way insulation, and since in the room we can hear stuff out here in the hall, but out there, they can’t hear things even when the door is banged on, there has to be a microphone and speakers somewhere.”
“The mic could be powered by sound I guess. But for the signal to have enough oomph to power speakers, it would need some amplification which means power. So, there needs to be a power source, as well.” Fran said, as she came up and looked at the hinges. “These aren't normal hinges Dan.” She said pointing at them. I’d not looked very carefully before, but they looked pretty normal to me. “Here, look at the ones on my door.” She said going to the other side and opening the door so we could see. “See how the plate and pin are much narrower? I bet if we took the plate off your door, we’d see a wire going through it.”
“Okay, that explains that bit, but where’s the mic?”
“Somewhere near the middle of the door would be my guess; to have the best pickup range.”
“No, it couldn’t be that simple could it?” I said. And, at their questioning glances, I pointed at the knob. “You think the mic is in the keyhole?”
“Easy to test Dan. Just cover it with a pillow and try the noise test again. It should be muffled.” Renee ran in and grabbed a pillow from her bed and brought it out. I took it, covered the knob and said “You know Fran, I feel really silly about this. But, would you mind knocking on Renee’s door?”
She made a little laugh, and complied with a sharp rap to the door. I took the pillow off and said. “Did it work?” before knocking on the door again.
“Yes Dan. It was much quieter.”
“Okay, we’ve found the mic I guess. Now, let’s find the speakers.” I said going into the room. You guys think it’s in the ceiling?”
“That would make sense Dan, if it were in the door on this side, there’d be no need for the wire other than power.”
“Well, let’s check the knob anyway.” After a bit of checking, we determined it wasn’t in the door, and under the rug didn’t make sense, so we pushed one of the tables over and I climbed up while they kept it steady. “With this textured ceiling it’s hard to tell. Wait. I pulled out my PDA and sent Ingrid a call. When she answered, “Ingrid, this is Dan. Don’t ask why now, but would you mind coming over and knocking on Renee’s door a bit. We’ll tell you when to stop, and explain then. Okay?” “Thanks.” “Ingrid’s going to knock on the door now maybe I’ll be able to hear where the sound’s coming from. Listen down there too, okay?” They nodded, and a moment later, the knocking started.
“It seems to be from up here somewhere. I moved around trying to hear where it was loudest, and it seemed to be centered above the door, but just to be sure, I moved over to each side and got too close to the edge. “Aaaiiihhhh” I yelled as I fell off the table onto Fran. I was able to leap clear mostly, but Fran hit the floor pretty hard. As we got things straightened out, it was obvious that Fran was in some pain. I went to help her, while Renee got the table set back up. “Renee, get Ingrid, she’s at the door.” I hit Dan’s page icon on my PDA, and when he responded, “Dan, we’ve got a medical issue in Renee’s room. Fran fell, and has been injured. I don’t want to move her.” “Got it, Ingrid will be in the hall waiting.” “Ingrid, as you can see, there’s been an accident, I’ll explain in a bit. For now, just keep the door open, wait in the hall, and direct whoever Dan’s sending for medical help in here.” “You’ll be okay Fran. Help will be here in a minute.” I said pulling the hem of her dress further down, covering her bottom. Renee and Ingrid didn’t need to see anything now, if they didn’t already know.
“Sorry, I wasn’t watching and knocked you over. I don’t see anything broken, but best let the experts check you out.” Fran was obviously in pain. I just kept up a babble to let her know someone was there, and to reassure Renee and Ingrid. Eventually, I’m sure it was only minutes later, but felt like much longer, some adults arrived, including Kate. I guess that wasn’t surprising. When directed, I backed off, and stood next to Renee.
“Is she okay, Dan?” Renee whispered.
I quietly replied, “I think so, I just wanted to make sure. She fell pretty hard.”
“Okay, let’s get her on the board and take her down to the clinic. I think she’s okay, but I want an x-ray to make sure.” That lady seemed to know what she was talking about. They had her on the board, and were out the door pretty quickly. Kate brought Ingrid into the room, and looked at us.
“Would you mind telling me what was going on?”
“We were trying to figure out how the insulation worked, Ms. Mayhew, and Fran, Renee and I figured out there was a microphone in the door knob on the outside. Then, we came in here to try to see if we could find the speakers that would be needed. When we couldn’t find them down here, we moved the table over and …”
“And you had Fran up on the table?” she interrupted.
“No, it was me up there. Fran and Renee were steadying the table down here. When I couldn’t find something that looked like a speaker, I called Ingrid to knock on the door so I could find the speaker by listening.”
“So that’s what I was doing out there. Why didn’t I hear the screaming in here though, wait, don’t tell me, you said something about soundproofing, right?”
I nodded, “Dan told me that our rooms had been soundproofed, but we could still hear knocks on the door, and as we found, other sounds out in the hall too. One way soundproofing didn’t make sense, so we were figuring it out.”
“Dan,” interrupted Kate Mayhew. “Why is it that you were on the table, but Fran’s the one that got hurt?”
“I’m afraid I was a little careless as I moved back and forth on the table and moved too far. The table tilted and I started falling off and screamed. At the last second, I gave myself a push, and was able to tuck into a roll when I hit. I think I kicked the table when I did that and it bounced back into Fran. Either that, or I hit her as I left the table. In any case, as soon as I got to her I, called Dan for help.”
At that point her PDA chimed, and she took a look. “Okay, the x-ray came back negative; she’ll come out with just a few bruises.” Turning back to me, she said, “Next time, why don’t you just ask someone? There’s nothing classified in how it works. Though, we may have to modify things a bit, if someone in here could get hurt, and someone in the hall couldn’t hear about it. The speaker is there above the center of the door, as you seemed to have deduced.”
“Perhaps a two way system, where some sound from the rooms gets out there, the same as gets through any normal door. Then, if you give us a switch, we can turn it off when we practice so others are not bothered. Or make it a smart switch that reacts to sound level.” I started trying to solve the problem out loud.
“That might work, but back to this afternoon’s issue. Do you know why someone got hurt?”
“Yes.” I said with a sigh. “I didn’t think things through as far as the investigation was concerned. A pedestal table is not that stable when a lot of weight is on one side. I’m actually surprised Renee didn’t get hurt too.” I turned to look at her, almost having to turn half way around she was behind me. “You are okay aren’t you?” She nodded, so I turned back to Kate. “Mrs. Mayhew, I’ll be sure to think more before I act. I’m really sorry this happened.”
“I know you are, and I believe you’ll try. One more thing you should remember. My name is Kate. I don’t want to hear you calling me Ms. Mayhew again. Alright?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Now Ingrid, would you like to go get Fran?” At her nod, the two went off to wherever they’d taken Fran.
Once they had left and we were alone, I turned to Renee. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. I caught the table as it bounced toward me. I saw you falling. How’d you avoid getting hurt?”
“It’s just like I told Kate,” I started, and she flinched at the name. “What’s wrong, Renee?”
“She’s so scary, Dan; I thought she was going to chew your head off at one point.”
I looked at Renee carefully, “You’re still shaking.” And not knowing what else to do, I opened my arms, and she almost flew in to them. Why is it that shrinks bother her so much?
“Renee, what’s wrong?” She was quietly crying. “Renee, I’m still here.”
“Th … thanks, Dan. I’m sorry. I was just so scared you might get hurt.” Her tone changed, becoming more tremulous, “She looks so much like my second foster parent.”
“And that’s an issue, isn’t it?” She nodded. “Do you want to talk to Dan about it?”
“N … no. At least not yet.”
“Okay, but you can always talk to me if you need to.”
“I will. Thanks so much for being here.”
“Are you going to be okay now?” As she nodded, I relaxed my arms, and she stepped back. “You’d best go clean up. Your eyes are all puffy.”
“Thanks Dan.”
And she ran off to wash her face. I realized I’d barely gotten to hear how the chanter sounded, and hadn’t had a chance to ask about what sounded off when she played earlier , or how her test had gone. Well, I figured it must have gone well, since she had seemed to be in such a good mood when I got here. I looked down at my PDA to see the time. Oh, we’ll have to hustle to get to Orchestra on time. “Renee, we need to get going, if you’re okay.”
She came out, and left her chanter on her desk.
“You don’t need that?”
“No, the guy that tested me said Mrs. Russell would let me know when it was needed, and arrange for me to have tunes I’d need to learn. But for now, I’m just to practice and get back my basic form.”
She was looking more in control of herself, so we headed off to rehearsal.
When we got there, I glanced at the time, and was relieve to see we’d made it on time after all. Looking around, I noticed the rest of our year had gotten there ahead of us. I noticed Ingrid nodding to herself. I guess she was checking as well. It was nice seeing her watching out for everyone.
“All you year one students, come over here for a minute please?” Looking in the direction of the call, I saw Mr. Hobson. Instruments it looks like, yep. He called all of the others over and handed them their instruments. “Dan, as you’ll be learning percussion this year; you’ll not be taking an instrument with you. Mrs. Russell will let you know what you should be doing. Ahh, here she is now.” I turned, and saw her coming across the stage to our group.
“Hello, Renee and Fran,” she called out. “You’re our two trumpeters.” Then she looked over at Mr. Hobson. “It would be nice if you could stop doubling the trumpets up on me.” Turning back to us, “Well, we’ll start with Fran in the first chair and Renee in the second. After a week, the two of you will swap. Don’t be surprised if I swap you a few more times before things settle down. You can go take your positions now.” I winced as I saw Fran limping a little. I’d have to apologize after rehearsal. Mrs. Russell turned and called to one of the older students. “Stacy, come here a minute, will you?” Then turning back to us, she continued. “Stacy’s in year four, but she’s also leader of the orchestra. Stacy, Mark, Wayne and Prudence will be in the string section. Why don’t you go get them situated?” I watched Stacy.
Huh. I thought a teacher would be the leader. Not one of us. “Excuse me Mrs. Russell.”
“Yes Dan?”
“I thought you led the orchestra.”
She thought a minute. “Oh, you mean my reference to Stacy as The Leader. That’s the title we use for first violin here in the UK. You may be more familiar with the American term ‘Concert Master’. They mean the same.”
I nodded. Okay that makes sense, but to be Concert Master and year four, she must be really good. She was talking to the three as she led them off to their places.
“Moving along now, you must be Sally,” she said to Sally. “I must say it’s refreshing seeing someone of your stature playing the tuba.” She then turned back to the orchestra. “Tim, please wave.” Turning back to us, she said. “Sally, you’re over next to Tim Harper there. Go ahead and get set up. Trust me, Tim doesn’t bite,” she added with a smile.
Finally she turned back to me. “Well Dan, as you see, no piano right now. Let’s go introduce you to Andrea and Andy, our full time percussionists.” We walked over to the percussion area. “Andrea and Andy, this is Dan. He’ll be filing the third slot with the two of you. Andrea, you cover the main percussion for the first hour of rehearsal. Andy, I want you showing Dan what he’ll be doing on the glockenspiel. After an hour, if he’s not getting the hang of it, you can switch.” Then she turned back to me. “Eventually, I want you able to play any of the percussion instruments with the exception of the drums. Later, we’ll work you into snares, but we want you to have time to keep up your piano, too. I’ve a few pieces in mind that will challenge you there as well.” With that she was off.
Andy was good at showing me the glockenspiel, they’re a nice instrument. I think it’s going to be fun playing them. Apparently I’d gotten enough of a hang of it that Andrea was able to go back to other instruments after another half hour. This rehearsal was a lot of work though. Sheesh, and the older kids acted as if it were nothing. I hoped I might someday get to their level, but I knew it wouldn’t be any time soon. Mrs. Russell was right in that my piano playing did translate and help me with the glockenspiel. I hadn’t had much time to see much of what anyone else was doing. I’m glad we spent the day on just the one piece. I wonder what else we’ll be playing.
“Okay, we just worked on the Mozart piece today. Friday, we’ll be working on Rachmaninoff’s Symphony No. 2. We’ve not yet finalized the program for our autumn concert, but it should be sorted out early next month. We’re considering a medley and perhaps a few shorter pieces. .Let me know if you have any questions. That’s it for tonight. Go and enjoy your dinners.”
And with that, she was off. I turned to Andy and Andrea. “Thanks for showing me this stuff, guys. It’s awesome.”
“I wasn’t sure what to think, with you trying to learn and play at the same time, but you picked it up pretty fast. It took me a while to learn the glockenspiel. Drumming is what I like, and what I was doing before I came to Hayfield.” said Andy.
“I think so too, Dan. Do you play your piano as intently?” asked Andrea.
“I dunno. I guess so.”
“He’s really good!” chimed in Renee. I’d not noticed her walk up behind me. “I got him to play for me last night and he’s awesome!”
“Well, we’ll look forward to seeing what you can do, mate.”
“Thanks Andy.” They headed off to their years, and I turned to Renee. “Thanks Renee. I don’t know what to say when folks go on like that. Hey, you just jumped in talking to folks you don’t know.” I said the last with a smile.
“I couldn’t let you just get by with false modesty, Dan. You’re good! You’re at least as good as any of us today anyway!”
“Ummm. Okay. I’m afraid I was concentrating too hard trying to play this thing. Hey, looks like Fran and Ingrid stuck around,” I said. changing the subject. I really wasn’t comfortable talking about myself.
“I asked them to. I figured Ingrid wanted to know what happened, and Fran has something she wanted to say.”
We went over to join them.
“How are you doing Fran? I’m sorry about the accident.”
“I’m okay Dan. I just twisted my ankle. They wrapped it, and said if I’m careful, I should be doing better by tomorrow. By the way, how’d you get by without getting hurt? You’re the one that was coming off of the table.”
“I guess I was lucky.”
“That’s not what you said to Kate?” Ingrid corrected.
“Okay, when I realized I was falling, I pushed off some and then tucked and rolled like I was taught. But I was also lucky nothing was in the way. I was really stupid climbing on a single leg table!”
Ingrid nodded while Fran continued, “Dan, did you find the speaker?”
“Sort of, Kate said it was in the ceiling tile above the door like we thought.”
“Well, that all makes sense.”
“Why do you two have insulated walls?” asked Ingrid.
“Apparently they expect us to fight a lot,” I said with a straight face as we were walking toward the dining area. Both Fran and Renee laughed at that. “Okay, that’s not it. With me doing my double instrument training, I’ll be doing some practicing in my room. I relax by playing the piano, and I’m afraid it’s sometimes at, well, let's just say 2:00 am happens. My folks didn’t complain too often, though my brother did. And Renee’s got her primary instrument with you Fran, but she’s got a secondary too, that, now that I know what it is, might annoy folks if she practiced it at all, indoors.”
They both gave me quizzical looks. I glanced at Renee and caught her nod. “She plays the pipes.”
Light dawned on them about the same time. “I think I’m going to be glad I won’t have to listen to that all the time,” said Ingrid. “Is the wall between your rooms insulated?”
“Dan said not. I guess we’re expected to listen to each other, in addition to studying together,” I said with a chuckle.
Dinner wasn’t that memorable, I guess the adrenaline that had carried me through rehearsal was wearing off. Renee was looking as bad as I did, so when we got back I suggested we go to sleep early, and do our work in the morning before breakfast.
“Good idea. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through dinner tonight.’
“See you in the morning,” I said as I went through the door, leaving it open without really thinking about it.
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
I know I showered and brushed my teeth before going to sleep, but I don’t remember any of that. The first thing I remember was Renee nudging my shoulder the next morning.
"Mom, let me sleep some more. I’m tired."
"Come on Dan, we need to get our work done."
"Wha... You’re not mom." I wasn’t coming awake very well today. That wasn’t normal for me. I usually was up pretty quickly. "Who?" I said sitting up, then things finally hit me. No, it wasn’t my mom. And it wouldn’t be for years. I guess the stress of the past few days had finally hit me. I broke down crying. It was probably only a few minutes, but it felt like much longer, but I finally slowed my crying, and realized someone was sitting behind me and holding me.
"Renee?"
"I’m here Dan. You were there for me yesterday. I couldn’t do less for you. Are you going to be okay now?"
I took a deep breath before answering. "Yeah, I think so. I don’t know what happened to me. I guess it finally sunk in that it’ll be years before I see my mom and dad again. But, that’s not fair to you."
"Dan, I came to terms with my family’s death a few years ago; even then, it still hits me once in a while. At least your folks are still there, and you know you’ll be seeing them in a few years. That should help you, though." We were sitting beside each other at that point, and I turned and gave her a hug of thanks. "I’ll be here if you need me Dan," she said quietly.
"Oh, we’d best get a move on. What’s first?"
"Go wash your face, I’ll get my stuff in here and we can work on maths."
After that start, the day was quiet, well it was until dinner. As we were eating our dessert, those of us that had been able to order it, anyway, Renee suddenly jabbed me. I looked over, and then seeing she was looking at another table, I followed her gaze and saw Mr. Hobson standing up.
"Good evening. I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but wanted to let you all know that this Monday will be a ‘Mix-up Monday’." He walked over to our table as the kids at the rest of the tables started chatting animatedly. "From all of your perplexed looks, I see I’ll have to explain it to you, like I do most first years. We periodically run Mix-up days, and Monday will be your first. Here’s how it works. Any of you presenting yourself as male, will be expected to dress and act as females. Any of you presenting yourself as female, will be dressing and acting as males." He looked around at us. "If any of you had been presenting as androgynous, you’d wear male clothing in the morning and female in the afternoon. All of you will attempt to appear androgynous after orchestra rehearsal until you go to bed."
"You’ll get a good laugh on Monday then!" chimed in Mark.
His reaction caused me to look at the rest of the year. Ingrid was looking thoughtful, as was Sally. Fran was looking very upset. I think I knew why. I’d have to ask her. Wayne, well he was withdrawn into himself like I’d come to expect. Sally was looking a bit worried, I wondered how she was going to hid her figure. Pru looked like she couldn’t care less. As slim as she was, she probably could bring off the androgynous look fairly easily.
I rubbed my hand through my short hair, "Mr. Hobson, how can someone present as a girl, with hair as short as mine? I mean how many girls do you know that have hair this short?"
He chuckled, and then looked around. "Well, you’re the only one with THAT issue right now." He looked over at the other tables, and then nodded. "I’ll hook you up with someone that can help you with that after the meal. Do any of the rest of you have questions?" He turned back to me and smiled. "Come on over and see me after everything is picked up." He returned to his table, and appeared to be sending something on his PDA.
It wasn’t long. "I’ll catch up with you guys back in the rooms," I said when Ingrid looked my way. Then, I made my way over to where Mr. Hobson was waiting. I wondered why Andy was also coming over.
"Hi Andy, what’s up?"
"I dunno, he just had me come over, but I can guess. Hi Mr. Hobson."
"Dan, Andy will help you with your hair issue." Turning to Andy, "Here’s a challenge for you, Andy. Let’s see how the two of you make out on this. Oh, hello Renee, I didn’t see you standing behind these two big guys." Wow, I’m not as big as Andy, but it’s nice to be called that. With that, Mr. Hobson left us.
"Andy, how come he asked YOU to help me."
"I guess some folks think I’m good at this stuff, and you’ll see more of the reason on Monday." I nodded. "Let’s walk and talk a bit. Do you mind your study partner tagging along?"
"No, please, can she stay? You can’t imagine how much help she’s been so far."
He gave us a look. "Well, in that case come on. As I see it, you’ve two choices for Monday. One is, we trim some more of your hair into one of those pixie styles, but it wouldn’t be good with your bone structure. It’d also be hard to deal with, when the second half of the day showed up. The other choice is a wig. There are probably two or three in your wardrobe. We’d just need to style one you’re happy with." At my questioning look, he continued. "Yeah, I was a bit surprised when I got here as well. That, along with the rest of the stuff they have in there, should fit well." I exchanged a look and smiled at Renee. "Is there something I need to know?"
"No," we said together.
He raised his eyebrows, "Right, well never mind for now." We had arrived at my room by then. "Let’s see what choices they’ve given you," he said as he opened my closet door.
"How do you know where the stuff is?"
"All of the rooms are arranged the same way, at least when you get here. After you’ve been here a while, you’ll personalize things a bit." He came out with one wig that looked like my hair. "There’s a brunette one, and one with longer hair in there, as well. But I figured you wanted simple to start with, and this page cut."
"Huh." Yeah, I know, brilliant conversation there. "Like in a book?"
"No." he said laughing. "It’s similar to the style of hair you’d have seen on pages in old movies of the middle ages. Here, let’s get it on you, and show you how to put it on." He turned to Renee. "Are you going to be helping Dan on Monday?" She nodded in agreement, so he showed her how to position it on my head. "Go take a look at yourself in the mirror, and let me know what you think."
"Do I have to?"
"Come on Dan, it’s not that bad." said Renee.
I complied, and saw myself. "I hate to break it to you too, but nobody would take THAT as a girl."
Andy laughed, quite loudly at that. "Sorry, Dan. Actually, it wouldn’t take that much to get that hair style to work for you. A bit more curl at the end, maybe taper it a bit. I’m getting the feeling that a longer style might be easier for you to carry off right now. Let me go get the longer one." He took the page back into the closet and I looked to see where he was going. There was a small cupboard with these foam heads in it. He pulled out the other one that matched my hair color. "Renee, let’s see you help him put this one on." He turned to me. "Let’s help a bit here, Dan!" He said with a chuckle, and I realized I’d best bend down some. She got it on my head, and then I stood up and looked in the mirror. This one was certainly longer. It tickled a bit, so I batted the hair out of my face. "Well, you got that right. I think this is actually better for you. You’ll have to work a bit more, I’m afraid, but it suits you better."
I looked, and turned my head from side to side. The hair was over my shoulders, which felt kinda funny. "I guess it’s better. What else do I have to do?"
"I can give you a quick run down on your options if you like." He leaned back with a grin on his face, and continued, "Or, you can have the same fun most of us had on our first Mix-up."
"Umm. Is that fair?"
"Sure, it’s not a secret or anything. You’re welcome to ask for help anywhere and from anyone at any time. It’s part of being here at the school."
"Why do they have us do this?"
Andy got a thoughtful look on his face. "You know, I never actually asked that question, but I can give you my guess."
"Would you?"
"Okay. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten around to describing this out loud, come to think of it." His voice trailed off at the end. There was a brief pause while he had a thoughtful look on his face, then he continued "Having to spend a little time experiencing how the other half lives should give us a better appreciation of what they have to deal with and go through. Some of us are transgendered in different ways. I’m sure you’ve heard that much. Mr. Hobson probably told you about that in his first introduction." We both nodded agreement. "Well, this serves to give some folks that may be unsure the opportunity to try it on for size, if you will. And, finally, for those that think they are for sure going that way, a few chances to make sure. I know some of the girls like to dress up as guys even though they have no intention of living that way. After all, our line for the loo tends to be somewhat shorter at concerts."
This last drew a big laugh from both of us. "Thanks, things were getting a bit serious there Andy. But please, some suggestions would be a help."
"Okay, you could go for the clown effect. Oh, I don’t mean actually clown, but exaggerate things so you’re a caricature of a woman, or a man, in your case Renee. Or, you could try to carry it off as best you can."
I looked at Renee, and then back at Andy. "I don’t think I could poke fun at women by doing that, so I’d best try to carry it off."
"All right then, let’s go pick out an outfit for you. Come on you two. I may as well go over the whole thing." He said, as he led us into the closet. It was a little crowded, but not too bad. I mean we weren’t going to be living in here. I’d had smaller bedrooms! "Renee, as you may have noticed, your closet’s made up the same way as Dan’s. Here on the left is what you’ll have to choose from for Monday. Hmmm." He turned to me. "Dan, why aren’t there any trousers in here?"
"They made a mistake with my measurements and they’re being altered."
"Then what do you have to wear?" He started, then looked at me more closely and broke into a laugh. "Sorry," he said still laughing. "I didn’t notice before cause they fit so well. You’ve already availed yourself of the clothing on the other side."
"How did you know?" I said with a sigh. "Dan said most folks wouldn’t notice."
"It’s the zipper. Those open backwards from men’s trousers. You’re actually lucky that fits so well! Most of us end up having to compress our waists and pad to get the trousers to fit so well." Then after he thought a bit he asked, "Whose idea was that?" I pointed at Renee. "Way to go girl! You’ll often find your partner is your best resource here! Always be honest with each other, and don’t try to hid things. In any event," he turned back to the other side, "since we’re on this topic, here on the right is the women’s clothing. Top drawer is the bras." At my flinch, "You found them, I take it?"
"Found is the word alright! I came out of my first shower, and realized I’d forgotten to grab unders. I opened the door, and found those and panicked! I gave Dan a quick call on the computer and he explained where things were." Andy laughed at that.
"With the camera on?"
"No, I had the sense to turn THAT away!"
He chuckled at my response. "I’d be willing to bet that someone has forgotten. But back to the clothing and such, the support staff usually explains that, while introducing us to our rooms. The explanation precludes most from having THAT experience. I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall to have seen it, though!"
"Umm, I guess it’s funny now, but at the time I was not a happy guy!"
"I can imagine. Maybe in a while, you’ll be able to tell the story for a laugh. Anyway, you’ve got various unders over here; let’s start with a basic cotton set." Through a laugh, he added, "You can get sexier later." I just looked at him. "You’ll see, don’t worry about it for now. Hmmm." Andy got a thoughtful look. "I think it had best be a skirt rather than a dress. You’ll find it easier to deal with the first time." At my questioning look, he made a gesture and I realized what he was referring to, and Renee giggled.
"Why not just wear trousers like I am now?"
"Well, the skirt will help YOU remember that you’re supposed to act like a lady."
"Oh. I guess that makes sense."
"And, while high heels would be effective, I doubt you’re ready for them. Not only that, an inch is about the highest you can expect to find in here at this point. I’d suggest wearing a pair with a narrow heel around the room in the evenings to see if you can. If so, wear them too. That, along with the skirt, will remind you more how to act. If the heels don’t work out, those flats would probably be okay with a plain skirt. And, you want one of the blouses that’s on the loose side. You’ll be subconscious enough without that reminder as well."
I nodded, then looking at the bra he’d given me. "I don’t think that’s much of an issue. I don’t stick out in the right places for that, unless I’m supposed to stuff some socks in here." I said indicating the bra.
That got a good laugh out of Andy, and then shaking his head. "They’ve thought of that too. Take a look in there." He said indicating a drawer I’d not gotten around to exploring.
I went over, and opened it, wondering what the heck he was talking about. I reached in, and felt something and jumped. Andy howled. "What is it?" I said. Renee walked over, and opened the drawer more, and reached in, and then her eyes got really big.
"You’re kidding, Andy!" He was still laughing so hard he couldn’t say anything. He just nodded confirmation.
"Dan, they’re breast forms!"
"What?"
"Fake breasts, you put them in the bra and they look real."
Andy was finally getting hold of himself. "Sorry mate. I couldn’t resist. It was obvious you didn’t know about them. Yes Renee, that’s what they are. After you put the bra on, you put those in, to fill in the cups. If you decide to go full time, they can even give you glue to keep them on most of the time."
I stood there kinda stunned.
"Thanks Andy. This really helps, even if Dan’s a bit shocked by it." She came over, and grabbed my hand. "I’ll help, Dan. Honest!"
"Thanks Renee!" I said, pulling her into a hug. Then, remembering that Andy was still there, I jumped back. "Umm. Thanks Andy. You’ve helped too."
"Don’t forget after orchestra on Monday you come back and change into some of the stuff on the back rack. You can go without the wig for the androgynous look. If you need help, just call. We percussionists need to stick together." He turned toward the door, and saw the keyboard. "Wow, that’s way nice! You play, I guess. Can I beg a demo in payment?"
"I, umm, I don’t know what to play."
"Just do the same first numbers you did for me Dan." Renee whispered in my ear.
I nodded. "I’ll probably muck it up, but here goes." I turned on the keyboard and positioned the pedals again. A little warm up. And then I was playing. I was a bit shaky at first, but settled down once I was playing. When I finished, I turned around.
"Wow mate! That was awesome! I can’t wait until I can hear that on one of the Grands! I understand why you picked up the glockenspiel so quickly. You really know your way around that keyboard!"
"Umm, thanks, Andy."
"No problem mate, it’s true. I’d best get a move on. Stacy and I have some studying to get done! By the way, the hair suits you," he said as he was walking out the door.
I just stood there, wondering what he was talking about. Then, as I brushed the hair out of my face again, I froze, realizing. I reached up and pulled the wig off my head. How could I have forgotten I’d still been wearing the wig? I guess I was more dazed by things than I’d thought. Sitting down, I said. "This’ll never work, Renee."
"We’ll get through it Dan! I mean, from what Andy said, all the other kids have gotten through it in the past. Can you imagine HIM as a girl?"
I snorted. "Andy? You’ve got to be kidding!" I laughed at that, and then remembered. "Wait, Renee, remember we all have to do it, and he’s not stressing."
"Oh my, do you think he can actually pull it off?"
"I guess. We’ll see Monday some time, but it is hard to believe. What’s really amazing is that I forgot I had this wig on. Can you believe that?"
"It did look nice Dan. By the way, why hadn’t you looked into that bedside table?"
"Oh, I just figured it had a Gideon’s in there. I mean, that’s what’s in those things in all the hotels back in the states." That got a laugh out of her. "Don’t tell me they’re over here too?"
She nodded. "I wonder what else you’ve forgotten to check out." She said, as she looked into the drawer to see more. "Well, there’s these heavy unders, or at least I assume that’s what they are."
"Ummm. If those are as tight as they look, I don’t think they’ll be very comfortable." I said with a shake. "Let me put this wig away, and we should get to work on our homework."
"Good point. Don’t forget the heels like, Andy suggested." she said with a giggle.
"Okay." I said sighing. "Let’s see if I can walk in any of those things." I put the wig on the foam head that was missing hair, and then looked at the selection of shoes. Good grief. Well, my shirt’s got a maroon and green plaid, and I remember mom saying something about matching colors there. Is there anything close to either color in here? There’s no way I’m wearing plaid shoes! Hmm — open toe, but it should match the maroon pretty well. I picked up the shoes, and held them up, yep, color matched fairly well. I kicked off the shoes I was wearing and put them away. As I was walking out I saw Renee had already booted my computer and brought up our assigned reading. I walked over in my sock covered feet and sat down to put on the heels. "Danged, these things are tight!" I muttered to myself.
Renee turned and gave a giggle. "That’s ‘cause you still have your socks on."
"I’m not wearing shoes without them! I’ll have a blister in no time!"
"Of course not, Dan. You might wear some flats or your trainers with socks, but those are dress shoes. Nice choice, by the way. Here, I’ll show you what you need." I put the shoes down, and followed her back into the closet. She pulled open yet another drawer. It seemed filled with nylons.
"I have to wear pantyhose?" I said in shock.
"What?"
"You know, those stocking things that include panties?"
"Oh, tights!"
"Huh. I think we found a language gap. Aren’t tights those tight lower body covering things that dancers wear?"
"Yes, but they can also be thin to transparent, and lots of colors."
"The thin stuff is what my mom calls pantyhose. My older sister used to wear tights when she danced."
"Okay, but you’re here, and it’s all tights. Got it?" I nodded. "Back to the topic, you don’t wear tights with trousers." she said pulling out a small pair of something. "These knee highs are all you need. On Monday, you might need tights, depending on which shoes you end up wearing. But for this evening’s practicing, these knee highs are all you need, and they are easier to put on too! When you put on the tights, you’ll have to be careful to not run them."
"Oh, I remember my mom complaining about that! She had this clear nail polish she used to stop runs."
"Yeah, that works. Well, let’s see how you do."
I sat down, and pulled off my socks and wiggled my toes in the air letting them dry a bit. Then I went to pull the stockings on the way I was used to when Renee stopped me.
"It’s easier if you do it in stages Dan. Put the toe in, then get it all across your heel and position the stocking heel, and THEN pull the rest up your leg." I did as directed, and had to pull up my trousers to get them up, but they were on. The shoes were easier to put on now, but it felt kinda funny with my heel up and toes down.
"Why is it open at the toes, anyway?"
"Just for appearances, if you’d painted your toes, the nails would show."
"One more thing to coordinate!" I said with some pain in my voice.
"There’s a lot to it. That you even think of that puts you one up on most guys I’ve known Dan."
"Oh. I guess my mom drilled that coordination thing in to my head pretty well," I said with a chuckle. Standing up was easier than I’d expected, but my balance seemed off a little. So I shifted my weight around a bit, to feel my new center, and then walked over to the computer. "What’s tonight’s look like?"
The next few hours were spent working, and then we needed some rehearsal time. I walked Renee down to one of the practice rooms and told her I’d be in on the piano where I’d been tested, if it was tuned. We agreed that whichever of us finished first, we’d make sure the other was done, too. I set a loud buzz on my PDA to alert me, figuring that its jarring sound would get my attention if I were in the middle of playing something. I didn’t want to be late getting back to my room so early in the year! When I got to the piano, I quickly checked to see if the key had been tuned, and smiled as it sounded beautifully with the rest. This piano had such a great sound. I sat down to start playing, and as I was testing the pedals, I realized I still had the heels on. How could I have missed that? And Renee didn’t say anything either. I hoped nobody actually saw me. Well, I’m here to play. Hmmm. The heels make things feel different with the pedals. I tried taking them off — but with the knee highs it was almost bare foot playing and that wasn’t going to work either. So, I put them back on, and decided I’d do as best I could, and hope they wouldn’t distract me enough to throw things off. Initially they did, but eventually, I was able to loose myself in the music.
BZZZZZZZZ. I jumped. And then remembered I’d set the alarm. Whoa! Time to clean up in here, and go check on Renee. When I got there, she was packing up her trumpet, and getting ready to take it back to storage.
"Why not bring it back to the room, Renee? You may as well take advantage of the soundproofing there."
"That’s a great idea Dan! I can’t believe I was able to just walk in and take the first room I got to."
"Want me to carry it for you?"
"Nah, it’s not heavy, and I should carry my own instrument."
I laughed at that. "I hope they don’t ask me to carry that grand around!"
"Shall we stop at the year room, to see if anyone’s in?" I asked
"No, I think I want to get back and rest some more, Dan. I’m still tired from our first night."
"I’m sorry Renee. I didn’t mean to keep you up."
"No. Don’t try to claim all the credit yourself Dan. We both needed that chat, and I’m sure we’ll need more before the year is out."
I nodded agreement. "You won’t get any disagreement from me!"
We ran into Ingrid and Fran heading down the hall at the same time we were. "Hi Dan, nice shoes!" said Fran.
I’m sure I turned twenty shades of red at that, as I froze in my tracks.
"Dan was practicing walking in them for Monday, Fran!" Renee said, jumping to my defense.
"Hey, there’s no way I’d criticize anyone for wearing heels!" I looked at Fran as she said that, and relaxed a bit.
"It’s a good idea, Dan. I’ve been wondering if I should offer to help Wayne or Mark. But neither has asked, and I hesitate to intrude."
Finally getting my tongue, "That’s a nice thought, Ingrid. I don’t know how they’d take it either. I’m really worried I’ll look foolish on Monday, though these shoes have been easier to walk in than my mom’s complaints had led me to believe."
"I don’t know how they did it, Dan, but everything fits so well! It’s amazing." Renee and I shared a glance before she continued. "Well, we’d best get into our rooms before we all turn into pumpkins."
With that, we parted. The two of us went into Renee’s room, her door being the closer one.
"I’m sorry I forgot to remind you to take those off, Dan."
"Don’t be, Renee. Somehow I also forgot, and I’m the one wearing them. I didn’t remember until I was trying to play the piano. Then, the heels got in the way."
She giggled at that. "Well, I guess we know you can wear heels Dan!"
I sighed. "We can try some more tomorrow, I guess. Are you going to need any help?"
She thought for a minute. "I don’t know, now that you mention it. I mean the clothes are easy, and I don’t have that much to hide, unlike some in our year."
I nodded. "Why don’t you take a quick try with trousers, a shirt and shoes? There’s no need for us both looking foolish!"
"Good idea. Why don’t you go hide for a minute, then I’ll come show you."
I went over to my room, and sat down to take off the heels. I was still surprised that I’d forgotten they were on. Maybe I SHOULD try some higher heels tomorrow. No, these looked like the highest in the closet, so let’s stick with these for now. I don’t want to tempt things. It’d be no fun getting around here in crutches! As I stood up to go put the shoes in the closet, I felt a little pulling in my calves. That reminded me that I’d not done my Kata for a few days, or even much in the way of stretching! I’d be way out of shape by the time they got around to seeing if there was a judo teacher available. After putting the shoes away, I did some simple stretching, thinking I’d set my alarm for a half hour early to do more in the morning.
"What’s up, Dan?"
"Oh, my calves were tight when I took off the shoes, and I figured I’d do some stretching."
"That’s a good idea. I heard somewhere that walking in heels can shorten your calf muscles unless you take pains to avoid it."
I nodded, thinking it made sense. "Well, let’s see you?"
She spun around.
"Okay, walk to the door and back Renee."
There’s no way someone would mistake her for a guy. She has hips that move. That’s how I recognized her when Dan brought her out to the car!
She came over to the bed where I was sitting. "Well?"
"Ummm." I took a deep breath, she needed an honest answer. "Not good Renee. You look like a girl in guy’s clothes. It’s the whole impression. When you’re standing still, you’re okay. But that spin, and your walk! You have a very distinctive walk, Renee."
She just stood there a minute. Then, I think she was starting to tear as she turned. I quickly jumped off my bed to catch her. "Renee, what’s wrong?"
She turned, and threw herself into my arms. I could feel her shuddering, so I held her.
"Renee, come on over and sit down. Somehow, we’ll get through this together!" I pulled her over to the bed, since it was much closer than the settee. We sat there, I don’t know how long. Eventually, she did settle down.
"I’m sorry Dan. I didn’t mean to break down like that."
"Renee, we WILL figure out how to get through this, even if we have to go to the staff for help. I mean, the other years seemed to have gotten through it, and even find it fun." She shook a bit at that.
"I, I guess, Dan" she still sounded a bit choked up.
"You can stay as long as you need, Renee!"
"Thanks!"
I guess we fell asleep hugging, because I remember waking up with her still in my arms.. I eased out from beside her and carefully laid her down. Hmmm, should I just go sleep in her room? No, I’d best be here when she wakes up. I went around to the other side of the bed. I guess it’s a good thing these things are so big! I mean, I’d not had to share a bed with anyone for years! At least we were both still dressed! I lay down, as far away as I could get, and went back to sleep. It was good that she could sleep through my moving around.
I woke up before the alarm the next morning. When I wasn’t exhausted, I had a habit of doing that, when I set a different wakeup time the night before. Something was strange though. Then I realized what it was, a strange weight was across my back. Before moving, I listened and heard light breathing behind me, and realized the weight was Renee’s arm. Moving carefully, so I didn’t wake her, I slipped out of the bed, and went around to the table and shut off the alarm. I figured I could wake her easily enough in time, and if she’d slept through the night, she must really have been exhausted.
I went into the closet and grabbed some sweats, and went into the bathroom to change. I need to remember to call it an en-suite! I thought to myself.
When I came out, I looked around. I didn’t think I’d make that much noise, but I decided to go into her room to warm up and go through my Kata. I left the door open, in case she was startled or something I dunno. Only then, did I realize what had happened last night. I’d actually slept with a girl. Well, if she didn’t remember it, I’d not tell her or anyone else.
When I finished with my last move, I held it briefly, and then returned to my center. It felt really good to have gone through my Kata this morning! I sat, and relaxed. I planned on sitting for just a few minutes, but almost as soon as I sat down, I heard a scream from the other room. I’m not sure if my feet touched the ground more than once, I moved so fast to get in there. Renee was sitting bolt upright in the bed, clutching my pillow and breathing pretty hard.
Arriving at the bed, "Renee, are you okay?"
"What am I doing here, Dan?" she said with a look of panic.
"You fell asleep last night Renee. I didn’t want to wake you, so I sorta eased you flat on the bed where we were sitting."
She sat there gulping air, with a frightened look, "And nothing happened, RIGHT?"
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
I hesitated a second, wondering what had brought that on. I mean, I was a little freaked by having slept in the same room with her, but still… "No. I didn’t even change until this morning."
"I, I’m sorry Dan." She gulped some air and seemed to be settling down.
"You, no WE were kinda exhausted last night."
She gave me a nod. "I’m sorry Dan. I didn’t mean to keep you up."
"We’re in this together, Renee. If you need me, I’ll be there! You were there for me." I continued aloud, but more to myself. "I wonder if that’s what Dan meant when he said we’d help each other."
"Huh?"
"Sorry, I was thinking out loud. In my interview, Dan told me how carefully we, well all the students, were paired. He implied or said that we each had stuff to help the other. And, I guess this is just an example of what he meant."
"I guess. I uh…" she interrupted herself. "Thanks Dan. I don’t think I’d have been able to sleep at all, if you’d not been here."
She seemed to be starting to lose it again, so I changed the topic. "Hey. As I said, I’m glad I was. But, I kinda think I need a shower before breakfast." I lifted my arm, and mimed sniffing. "Ewww. I really think so!"
That got the expected laugh. "What were you doing, anyway?"
"I was doing my Kata, that’s my Judo practice or what I can do by myself. It keeps me limber and sometimes helps me relax."
"Can I watch some time?"
"Sure. Maybe tomorrow, but I think you’ll be bored by it."
"Let me decide, okay? You never know, I might want to learn."
"Well, if you do, and if they get around to finding a teacher, I’m sure he can teach us both."
She laughed a little more, and continued. "I bet you’re good enough, or almost good enough anyway, to BE a teacher"
I looked at her sharply. There’s no way she could know I’d been getting close… Then I saw she’d been joking. "Well, I do still need that shower, and, unless you want folks to see you in rumpled clothing…" I let my voice trail off at the end.
"Ooops. Thanks." She ran off to get ready for the new day.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, for which I was very thankful. Orchestra was eye opening. I mean, how many pieces are we going to be learning? Watching Andrea and Andy switch from various drums to other instruments was as amazing as it was daunting. I was finding it hard to imagine learning to play all of these things even moderately well. At least Renee seemed to be doing okay on the trumpet.
That evening, we both dressed up and tried walking around the room. I wasn’t having any trouble walking on the heels, but kept finding my self doing things Renee said wouldn’t work out. I dunno how a person could be expected to remember all of that stuff. If anything, Renee was having more trouble than I was. I mean, she could wear the cloths and all, but so, when she walked away from me, she just looked like a girl in guys clothing. Despite trying on several outfits apiece, neither of us were happy. I think Renee was a bit depressed, and I know I was, at how hard it actually was, and how poorly we thought we were doing. I really didn’t want to look like a fool or clown on Monday.
I was too keyed up to fall asleep, so I finally got up and grabbed my headphones to do some practicing. I guess the light told Renee I was up again.
"Dan, if you’re going to practice, can you set the volume up where I can listen. Maybe it’ll relax me, too?" she called.
"Okay." I turned, and put the headphones back down. I mean why live with their sound reproduction, when I could use the much better speakers of the keyboard!. It didn’t take long before I was lost in my playing. It certainly relaxed me, and when I started feeling tired enough to go to sleep, I shut down the keyboard. No, I’ll NOT look at the clock. I do NOT want to know how late it is!
I was really glad that Saturday had nothing planned as I was becoming more nervous and stressed all day long. Waking up hadn’t been too bad. I did my Kata again, which helped me start the day centered. Renee even got up and watched a bit. She wasn’t the first person I’ve heard describe it as a kind of dance. When she wanted to learn, I begged off, suggesting that we wait to see if an instructor would be available soon. But, after that, I became tenser and tenser throughout the day. I think I refrained from snapping at anyone, but it was a close thing on an occasion or two.
After dinner that night, I couldn’t stand the tension about how things would be on Monday any more. I decided I’d best do something I didn’t want to. I mean, I shouldn’t have known.
Walking nervously across the hall to Fran’s room, I knocked on the door. When she answered, I asked, "Fran, do you have a few minutes we can talk?"
"Sure Dan, what’s up?"
"Privately I mean."
She looked at me strangely. "Okay, your room or mine?"
"It had best be yours. Renee and I don’t close the door between our rooms." That got an odd look. "Long story."
"Okay, come on in."
I took a seat on the chair, and she sat on the settee. Danged, she was graceful.
"What’s up Dan?"
"I don’t know where to start Fran. But, it’s about Monday."
She looked at me nervously. "What about Monday?"
"Well, I’ve been trying to work things out, but whatever I do, I come off looking silly. I mean, I look like a man, well a boy, with a skirt on."
She was looking a little nervous the way I was talking. "Why are you telling me this, Dan?"
"Fran, I’m sorry. The other day when I knocked you down falling off the table," I took a breath and continued. "Your hem… it was up… I pulled it down. I don’t think anyone else saw."
Fran sat there, barely breathing. "What do you want, Dan?"
"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come over. I’ve not said anything about that to anyone, Fran. I wouldn’t have brought it up even now, if I wasn’t so scared I’d look so bad on Monday and people would believe I was making fun of girls. I mean, I’d never do that. I’ll never tell anyone. I’m so sorry, Fran." I got up, and rushed toward to the door.
"Dan, no!" as I paused, "I’m sorry. Don’t go yet."
I turned back to her.
"Dan, I didn’t mean to reject you. I just thought nobody would know. You surprised me."
"I’m sorry Fran. I shouldn’t have asked."
She giggled at that. "You’ve not asked anything yet, Dan."
"Umm. I was wondering…"
"Why?" She interrupted.
"No. I was wondering how you were able to be so natural, and hoping you might be willing to teach me!" I blurted it out in a rush.
"Dan, it’s not that easy. I’ve been living this way part time for over a year." My heart fell with that. "But, I’m taking an extra set of lessons that are really helping. Remember the head’s introduction?" At my nod, she continued. "Well, Kate had already told me about those lessons. That’s where I went when you and Renee were getting checked out on your instruments. I’ve a few bad habits to correct."
"You do?" That got a big laugh out of her.
"I’m afraid so. For one, that barking laugh has to go. It also seems I overdress, or so a teacher told me."
I nodded, thinking back to her dress the other day.
"You agree with them?"
"I don’t know Fran, but your dress that first day was one of the things that made me wonder."
"Thanks for telling me that, Dan. The fact that you wondered tells me I have further to go than I’d thought. But, what’s the other thing that made you wonder."
"It wasn’t specifically about you. But I noticed that Renee and I had the same support staff and that you and Ingrid had Kate. Well alone, that wouldn’t have meant anything, but with some other little things, I wondered. I’m sorry to say, I even asked Dan about it. He said you’d have to say." I took a deep breath. "I’m really sorry I even raised the issue, Fran. At the time, I was more curious about Renee and me, I didn’t think."
"Don’t worry, Dan. But back to your question... Monday, I might be able to tell you some of the things that were hardest for me when I started dressing. I don’t think there’s time in a day and a half to do much, though."
I hung my head then, "I guess there’s no hope this time, but I’m going to take those classes! I’ll NEVER dress so anyone could think I was making fun of you or anyone else!"
"Oh Dan, thank you."
"For what?" I really wasn’t sure why she was thanking me.
"Dan, thank you for accepting me as I am, not as some freak."
I sat there with a blank expression on my face. I couldn’t imagine why someone would thank me for that. I mean people were people? I knew there were people out there that had issues with differences, but I never did understand that. "Ummm. Sure."
"Fran, would you mind if I asked Renee to come over? She’s really been helping me!"
"Of course not, go get Renee, and I’ll get Ingrid at the same time."
I went across to Renee’s room. "Why are you out here knocking, Dan?"
"Ummm. I was over talking to Fran, and we wanted you to join us to continue the discussion." I felt a little uncomfortable asking her like this.
"Okay."
We went over to Fran’s room where Ingrid was waiting with her.
"Ingrid, Renee, thanks for joining us." Fran started. "Renee, Dan was over asking for advice on presenting as a girl. Before you get upset, he told me how much help you’ve already been." She took a big breath, and continued. "And I think I should tell you why." She turned to Ingrid, "I think you already know, or at least guess, some of it, but you need to know more, too."
I’m glad that Fran is telling Renee. Now I don’t have to remember to keep it hidden from her. Secrets sometimes have to happen, but they’re harder with someone you spend a lot of time with. I remember Dad talking about that once, how that part of his job he didn’t like. Mom always said she understood, but it couldn’t have been easy for them.
Fran told us an amazing story of her time growing up. It seems her father was in the army, and posted away from home a lot, so she was raised by her mom with no brothers or sisters for the first 8 years of her life. During that time, her mother allowed her to dress as she wished and play with the toys she wished. There were not that many of either. Her family was not wealthy by any stretch. She’d been a well behaved child, and wore her trousers and such, when daddy was home, and to go to school. But at home, it was not unusual to see her in skirts. It wasn’t an all the time thing either, she told us. About four years ago, her father was posted locally, so the family could be together all the time. And, a year later, her little sister was born. She loved her little sister, and helped her mother a lot in her care and feeding. Her father wasn’t sure he approved of this, as the activity wasn’t manly, but he didn’t forbid it either. Fran said she was only rarely able to wear or have skirts the last few years. The one time her father had caught her, he’d spanked her and told her he never wanted to see her dressing like a sissy again!
This caused a strong reaction from both Ingrid and Renee, but Fran said that it didn’t hurt much; it was more the pain of the fact that her dad had spanked her. She explained that he’d never done it before, and she made sure he didn’t have a reason to again. Fran further described her dad as generally a very gentle man, rarely raising his voice. It was obvious from the difficulty she had telling this story that she loved her father very much, but it had also hurt her to not be able to be herself. Last year, her father had been posted overseas again, and she resumed wearing skirts. Her mother had arranged for her to get some counseling, and she said after a few months the counselor had determined that she needed to see a specialist in gender issues. She’d been living full time as a girl when not at school, for most of the past year, though with her still limited wardrobe, her exposure to the bounty that this school made available had been more than she could resist that first day.
"So that explains why you were trying on every outfit in the closet, Fran!" Ingrid chimed in. "I just thought you’d not had much growing up. Wow."
"I didn’t have that much, Ingrid, but I also had never been able to have a dress. It was like all my Christmas’s rolled up into one! It’s so wonderful being able to mostly be the way I need." Her face lit up a lot at this, but then it darkened a little as she continued. "I just hope my dad can accept me when we’re finished. At least mom told me she’d not let my sister forget me." She finished with a sigh.
"I’m sure we’ll all change a lot over the next five years, Fran. If I can help any time, ask. And, I’m sure Renee and Ingrid will help you too!" I replied quietly, while they both nodded agreement.
"Thanks, Dan! I know this school’s supposed to be different and it sure seems that way, but the three of you accepting me like this is more than I had hoped for."
"Somehow, we need to encourage the rest of our year to be more of a team," Ingrid stated rather more intensely than I’d have expected
Thinking about that, I decided it probably would help us all, "That’s good, and maybe we can think about ways to help it happen." I thought for a minute, trying to remember something my dad had said. Then I remembered, "Whatever we start with needs to be something that doesn’t threaten anyone."
They thought about it for a bit and all nodded in agreement.
"Fran, you don’t need to tell them anything until you’re ready!" Ingrid chimed in!
To which I said, "And I’m sure none of us will say anything!"
I could feel Renee nodding agreement, as she sat beside me on the settee. Ingrid was nodding as well, from her chair.
"Well, enough about that." said Fran. "Now, for the real reason Dan and I wanted to bring you in. He’s asked me to help with presenting as a girl. Renee, he told me how much you’ve helped him already." Then back to Ingrid and Renee, "I think helping you and Ingrid pretend to be guys will be a tough task, too."
Ingrid thought. "How hard can it be? Just pull the hair back into a pony tail and put on guys clothing?"
I choked back a laugh at that, but I think Renee felt me because she gave me a little poke. "Ingrid, I don’t think it’s that easy. Renee tried last night, and I’m afraid all I could see was a girl in guys clothing."
Renee finally decided to join our chat. "I think it was all Dan could do to not laugh at me, Ingrid, and I’ve not developed as far as you have."
"Well, there is the thing Kate told me about in the drawer to keep these strapped down so they don’t show so much. I bet I could pull it off."
"Okay, let’s go try, Ingrid? Do you mind if I get my clothes and bring them to your room to change? I’m not ready for the rest of the year to see me yet."
"Of course, Renee, or if you’d rather, we can do it over in your rooms. I’ll get my stuff and we can go over, get dressed, and meet in Dan’s room."
"Sounds like a plan. Fran, maybe you can help me get dressed, too, so you can all see how far I have to go."
"I’ll be happy to, Dan. You two go ahead. I’ve one more thing to ask Dan, and we’ll meet you."
Renee went into Ingrid’s room with her, I guess to help her collect her things.
"Dan, I don’t want to have to pretend to be a guy any more." She gave a big sigh. "I’d thought that was done."
I looked at her, and then light dawned. "You’re worried about pretending to be a guy on Monday aren’t you?" At her nod, I continued. "It may be easier if you remember you’re just pretending. As little as you like it, you’ll probably be better at it than Renee or Ingrid. I mean, they’ve never tried before." I was quiet a minute, then an idea came to me. "Maybe if you picked a different boy name from the one your dad gave you it’d be easier."
"I’ll think about it, Dan, thanks. Oh, we’d best get going or they’ll tease you about how long things take!" I guess I must have given her a blank look, because she continued. "You know, the stereotype that women always take longer to get ready."
That got a loud laugh from me, which I think was her point. We went over to my room, and she was quick to notice that the door between our rooms was open part way. "Should I close that?"
"No, we’ve made a point of leaving the door at least part way open." I said, as I headed for my closet. I decided, in the interest of speed to forgo the panties, and stripped out of the rest of my stuff, grabbed a bra and managed to put it on. "Fran, would you mind grabbing those things from the drawer?" I called out. Then I grabbed a blouse and started putting it on. Gotta remember not to button it all the way. Danged, why do these things have to button the wrong way? Well. Now for a skirt, khaki should do nicely. I pulled it up, hooked it and then zipped it. I looked on the rack for a pair of shoes, and chose a pair of black ones with the highest heel in the closet. It looked like more than an inch, which I guessed was quite a lot. I slid them on, and walked out.
"Fran, if I pull the bra open, can you slide those things in? I’m not sure how you know which way they go." This got a giggle out of her. "I mean, it’s not like I ever thought I’d need to know this stuff."
"This is the top, and here’s how you can tell the left from the right." She indicated some things to me and I closed my eyes and thought hard to fix that in memory.
"Okay. Maybe I should put them in. You just make sure I don’t twist them around, okay?"
"Sure Dan. Here’s the left one."
As I was putting it in the bra, I shivered. "Ohhh, they’re cold, Fran. I can feel the shivers going up and down my spine!"
"They will warm up, Dan. Don’t worry." She said smiling, as she handed me the other one. I got my courage up, and put the other one in. Uhhh, as bad as the first one. I’ve gotta figure out some way to warm them before putting them in if I’m going to be wearing them much.
Then from the door, "You ready in there Dan?"
"Just a sec." I said, as I buttoned the last few buttons. "Okay, come on in. I need help with the wig."
Renee and Ingrid came into the room. Hmmm. Ingrid doesn’t look as wrong as I had expected, I mean what had happened to her breasts. Then it came to me. She’d said there was something to fix her chest. Though, even with that, there was no way anyone could mistake her for a guy. I looked over at Fran who was shaking her head with a grave expression, so I figured it was my place to say it. "Hi girls."
Ingrid tried to carry it off, saying "Whacha mean, mate?" She was trying sound like a guy, but it just came out as Ingrid. It even set off Renee giggling. "No good huh."
"Sorry, Ingrid. You do look better than I’d thought you would, but just like last night with Renee, you both look like girls dressing up in guy’s cloths for a gag or something."
"I’ll go get your wig, Dan."
"Thanks, Renee." When she got back, I knelt down a bit so she could get it on my head properly, then turned and trying to get a squeaky voice "Well, ladies, as you can see, I’m no better than you are." And then, as I was about to bow, the three of them broke out laughing.
"What’d I do now?"
"Oh, Dan, your skirt." Ingrid said, laughing.
I looked down. "What’s wrong with it? It matches doesn’t it? I’ve got this plaid blouse. That should go with the khaki skirt."
"Dan, the skirt’s on backwards." At my questioning look, Renee continued. "The zipper goes in the back." My face must have turned bright red at that.
I let out my breath, and tried to scrunch it around, but, it didn’t go. "Oh well." I just unzipped it and unbuttoned it, and pulled it around. Then, I reached behind me, and buttoned and zipped it back up. "Better?"
"How’d you do that so easily?" Ingrid exclaimed. "I mean, I have to work a bit to get my hands behind me to button and zip it." She quieted down a moment. "You probably put your bra on that way too, not by spinning it around." At my blank expression, she said, "When I got my first bra, my mom said if I were having trouble hooking it, I should hook it in front and then twist it around."
"Oh." My, "That never occurred to me," elicited another laugh from the three girls, "but that doesn’t address the big issue. I’m still Dan. I’m just wearing a skirt." To which they all nodded.
I walked over to the settee and was about to plop down when Fran stopped me. "Wait, Dan. You may as well get a bit of a lesson here. Sweep your hand under your bottom to get the skirt out flat before you sit down." I sighed, and did as she directed. "Now keep your knees close together. It’s generally easier to remember if you just tuck one of your feet behind the other."
"There’s no way any of us will be ready for Monday."
Ingrid thought. "Well, Renee and I can clown it up a bit on Monday. I mean it’s not so bad for girls to do that. Nobody would think we were making fun of a guy. But, I do see what you mean." She paused a moment. "By the way, from the back, you weren’t too bad."
"Of course. That’s my best side." I said with a snort.
"Dan, I’m really surprised at how easy you are on those heels." said Fran. "Are you sure you’ve not worn them before?"
I laughed, "First time was yesterday, when Andy came over to give me a few pointers."
"Well, you’re lucky, there. How about we all just sleep on it tonight. Maybe one of us can think of some miracle to solve our problems."
We all agreed with Ingrid’s suggestion. Ingrid went back to Renee’s room to change back and Renee sat down next to me.
"Fran, if it’s really going to bother you on Monday. You should talk to Kate! I think it’s her job to make sure you’re okay." I got about as close as I could to hinting that Kate was a shrink. "I mean she’s your assigned support person. Maybe they can make an exception for you."
"I’ll try tomorrow, Dan. And, if it bothers me too much, I’ll send her a note." You’ve been a lot of help with your suggestion as it is. Thanks." She went over to the door between the rooms, "I’m heading over to my room now, Ingrid."
"I’ll be right over, Fran, thanks."
Renee and I decided to practice a little bit. I set the synthesizer to do trumpet, and we practiced her part for quite a while. She seemed to appreciate that I could play along with her or play the other seat’s part as well. Finishing that, we chatted for a while before calling it a night, as it’d been a long day. Only then did we both realize we’d not bothered to change. Oh well. It’s our rooms, and at least the clothing was comfortable. I’ll have to check to find out if there’s something that needs to be done to clean these lumps. I’d hate to ruin them ‘cause of something I did wrong in their care.
Sunday started out peacefully enough. I did my Kata again, and Renee came into the room and watched a while. We chatted about it on the way to breakfast. The rest of the day was pretty peaceful. We managed to work in a bit of homework and studying, some practicing of music and other stuff. No, I should be honest with myself. We did the stuff we needed to do, but we also took plenty of breaks. I was looking forward to dinner, as I’d selected some nice things. They came up to expectations. Just after dessert had been served, the head got up. "I’ve got some bad news for most of you, though the first years may be happy. Due to some guests who will be visiting the school tomorrow, Mix-Up-Monday will be postponed." I heaved a big sigh of relief. "I’m afraid that you first years will just not be up to presenting that way with visitors."
Dan turned to me "Relieved, are you Dan?" I nodded vigorously.
Mr. Hobson continued. "We’ve not yet determined when it’s postponed to, but it will not be that far away, so for most of you, don’t worry." He turned to our table, smiling. "And, as I said before, you get a reprieve; make the most of your time."
I turned to Dan, and quietly asked, "Dan, any chance I can get those lessons on presenting as a girl? I tried, and I still look like a guy in a skirt."
"I’ll see what I can do and let you know. If I can sort it, it’ll show up on your PDA schedule. Okay?"
I got a quizzical look, and then remembered sorted meant arranged and nodded my thanks. Turning back to the rest of the class, I got a poke from Renee. Looking at her, I saw her point at herself, holding up two fingers. I thought a minute, and realized she was saying ‘Me Too’. I turned back to Dan, and said. "Renee reminded me she wanted to take the boy classes."
"Okay same for her then."
On the way back to the common room, I mentioned to Ingrid that Dan was looking into getting the special lessons for Renee and me, and she said she’d already asked Kate about it. Fran seemed to be doing okay, so I didn’t worry about her.
Monday started out like any other day, until midway through breakfast that is. I heard a light chime. I looked around, and then it happened again.
"Dan, you might want to see what the alert is." At my questioning look, Tracy said "Your PDA, Dan."
"Sorry Tracy. I guess I’m not used to it yet." I pulled out my PDA, and checked the note. Wow, three extra things. "I guess Dan’s been busy, but who’s this Mr. Johnson I’m supposed to meet this afternoon, Tracy?"
She looked at me with a strange look. "He’s with the Department of Education. I suspect they’re just interviewing a few students. But, what do you mean by busy?"
"Oh, I’m scheduled for a martial arts evaluation and a meeting with a Kelly Baxter." She was nodding at the first, but her nod stopped when I mentioned the name. I wondered if this Kelly Baxter was also someone from outside. "Is there a problem?"
"Oh no, Kelly’s very nice. I suspect you’ll like her a lot. Did you ask for the meeting with her?"
"I think so." I said, and then I lowered my voice and continued "she teaches the classes on how to act like a girl, right?"
Tracy nodded. "Sounds like you do have a busy day. " She was smiling again with that. Then she noticed that I was pushing away some of my breakfast. "Not hungry any more?"
"It’s not that. I don’t do well exercising on a full stomach, and my Judo evaluation is shortly after breakfast."
"That’s good thinking, Dan. Would you like to reset your menu to give you a bit more at lunch and dinner?"
"You mean I can?"
"Of course! We don’t make it easy but, for situations like this where you need to change a meal, it has to be possible. I’ll set the reset flag, and you’ll be able to indicate what you actually ate for breakfast and you’ll have lunch and dinner to correct."
"Thank you, Tracy." I could see Renee looking at me so I turned, and showed her my schedule for the day. "Renee, since I’ve got that evaluation with this Mr. Smith, I’m not going to finish breakfast. Tracy’s going to reset things so I can have a bit more to make up for it later in the day." My PDA flashed an alert, and I saw that I could update my menu for the day.
While I was updating my menu, she quietly said, I’m seeing Simon Green right after you see Ms. Baxter, Dan. I think he’s supposed to help me."
I nodded at that, and then turned to Tracy. "I’ve not been out of the main buildings yet. Where is this?" I showed her my PDA. "Oh, that’s down the hill out back. You’ll have no problem finding it." Then toward the year as a whole, "Dan just asked a question that may occur to all of you at some time or another. If you take out your PDAs and look at your schedule, you’ll see a little icon to the left of the event name. If you position your pointer over that icon, you’ll see that it says ‘show me’. Clicking that icon will take you to a map showing your location. The school and grounds are indicated on the map for you. As in Dan’s case, you will eventually need to get to the sports hall, which is the building behind the trees in that direction," she said with a wave. "You’ll find that clicking on buildings give you information on them. And for those of you looking at your maps, that little house icon in the upper left corner? That will show you how to get from where you are back to your rooms. A much more detailed map is available on the computers in your rooms. You’ll also find it’s much easier to use."
"What’s the triangle with the letter ‘n’ inside?" asked Mark.
"Any guesses?"
Everyone else was quiet, so I interjected, "A compass rose?"
"That’s it Dan. And, the default is to have North at the top, but if you click it, and are moving, the direction of movement will be at the top and the point of the triangle will show you the relative direction of North."
"Oh, cool!" I agreed with Mark’s sentiments there. It WAS cool.
"Most students think so, Mark. Now, looking at the time, you’ve got some lessons to attend, don’t you?" There were a few yelps, and we all helped Sally and Pru clean up so they wouldn’t be late.
"I’ll see you guys after this extra evaluation. I’m scheduled to be done in time to meet you in Spanish." I hit the show me button next to my evaluation session, and started off. Wow, it was quick in showing my movement.
"Dan, wait up." Renee said as she came after me. "Tracy said I could go with you, and that she’d have our history lessons sent to our computers so we can catch up tonight."
"Okay. I hope you’re not bored by it."
With that, we walked together out and over to the sports hall. I did wonder why they used that term instead of gymnasium, but at least I could figure out what it meant. "These things are amazing, you know Renee?"
"What, Dan?"
"These PDAs."
"I guess."
"What’s the problem Renee?"
"I’m not sure Dan. I just feel nervous I guess."
"I’m the one that should be nervous; after all it’s me that’s being tested."
"Then, you must be Dan Humphrey." said a man in a Judogi; who stepped out from the shadows. Wow, I’d not even noticed him back there.
"Yes sir."
"And you must be Renee MacInnis." He said turning to her. At her nod, he said continued "We can talk once Dan and I are finished. Would you please wait over there?" He indicated some mats to one side. "Also, no talking while Dan and I get this out of the way."
He turned to me, and beckoning, said, "The locker room is this way. We can discuss your background and where you believe you are and what you believe your weaknesses are while you change."
Uh oh, I bet he knows most of what I’ve done. Well, there’s nothing in my training to be ashamed of. But, there is that fight.
We chatted, and it appeared I’d been right that they’d checked on my training here in England.
"Fine, your self assessment may perhaps be a bit more critical than it should be, but we shall see." He indicated a ring on the mats. "We will check your Judo. It’s not my primary area, but I am competent to determine where you stand."
I’d wondered, since he just wore a white belt, the same color as his Judogi. Well, I’d best both assume he knew what he was doing, but also make sure I didn’t surprise him until I was sure he was as good as he said. That is, assuming I could.
We started out simply enough. His basic movements were not that far from what I’d been taught. Usually I could let my training react. After a bit though, he came at me faster, and with combinations I’d not seen. Eventually, he wasn’t even allowing me to center between attacks. That made it more difficult to counter. It’s so much easier when you start centered. He was as fast as my last sensei had been! Eventually, he paused and signaled me to wait. "I will now see how your training does when you are attacked by someone from different traditions. Do you understand?"
I nodded. It was the kind of thing Private Ramsey had done when I got cocky. "Yes, Sensei. Am I to respond with judo or with what seems appropriate, based on your attack."
I think he was pleased by my answer, but I’m not sure. His face didn’t telegraph anything. It was more his stance. He’d been a bit tense when he asked, and now he was relaxed. "You will do as you see fit."
We resumed again, but this time, he came at me with kicks and strikes which I was able to parry. His movements kept me from closing though, so we seemed at a stalemate. Some of his strikes had really hurt when I blocked, instead of deflecting them. I realized that his extra inches and strength were beginning to tell though, and figured that I’d not score on him if I continued the way I was. So I decided to try one of the striking attacks Private Ramsey had shown me, that maximized my size against a larger opponent. It’d worked for her, against some of the strongest Marines. I began to set things up, and right after one of his kick attacks, I followed my parry with the attack, and it worked.
"Stop, that is enough."
Breathing a bit hard, I stopped and stepped back and bowed, while he got up off of the mat. "You have done better than I had expected. It is obvious you’ve been exposed to more styles than Sensei Tenaka tends to teach."
That got my attention. He knew my last teacher. "Sensei said one should master the basics before expanding ones skills in other areas."
"He is a wise man. Why do you not have your black belt?"
I was startled by his question, but responded as best I could. "I am not ready."
"You have the technical skills. Why do you say you are not ready?"
"Achieving the belt implies control of self as much as the use of any skills. As my last week at Westminster taught me, that control is not there yet."
"Did you lose your temper at any point?"
"No."
"Then, how did you lose control of yourself?"
I had to think about his question then. Each step along the way, I’d decided what I would do. It’s just that my original plan was flawed. Was THIS what Sensei had been trying to bring me to understanding, beyond just understanding there were more ways to achieve a goal than one? It would be like him to have hidden another lesson in the first. "No sir. I was in control throughout."
"Then why do you say you do not have control of self?"
"That was an error sir. My problem last week was caused by a flawed plan, more than by my loss of control."
Suddenly he was smiling. "I’m glad you finally figured that out, son. When I talked with Sensei Tenaka yesterday, he told me that he expected you to figure that out, though he’d hoped you would do so without hints." I hung my shoulders a bit at that last. "But that is my role as well; to teach thinking. You have demonstrated your mastery of the basics, as you and he put it. It is time to expand your horizons. By the way, that last attack, it’s certainly NOT something you learned from him."
"No sir. One of the Privates in the detachment at the Embassy in Athens was teaching me, and she felt I should know some things that were more effective against larger opponents."
"Is she also the one that gave you experience in countering other traditions?"
"Yes sir."
"Come, let’s join your friend." Hmmm. I guess she really is my friend. I smiled at the thought.
As we approached her, he said. "Well Renee, do you think you want to learn some of what you saw?"
"Oh, yes." she responded feelingly.
That was awfully intense. I wonder what’s bugging her.
"You were both moving so fast most of the time, I couldn’t follow much, and at the end, I have no clue how Dan got you on the mat."
He laughed at that. "That’s not really surprising. I believe I understand the move he used, but I’ve a lot more experience than you do. If you apply yourself, you could perform at that level before you are finished here at Hayfield."
"You’ll teach me?"
"I’ve another teacher in mind for you, Renee, but to answer what you are really asking, yes you are welcome to learn."
I stood quietly at the side. I wondered if he would teach me. He’d hinted at it, but not come out and said it like that. "It’s a lot of fun learning, Renee. Well, it is after the first few weeks."
He grunted at that. "Yes, learning how to fall without getting hurt is not always the easiest of lessons." Then he turned to me. "Would you be interested in learning other traditions?"
"I would, sir."
"Very well then, we will arrange this as well." I felt myself finally relaxing. I hadn’t realized how tense I’d been. "You will both be seeing these lessons along with your other scheduled classes in your schedule."
"Thank you very much. How should I refer to you, sir?"
"In a teaching situation, how would you refer to your teacher?"
"Here, as Sensei, I guess. I was more wondering about away from this setting."
"Well Sensei is acceptable here, and hopefully you’ll not be seeing much of me away from the Sports Hall. If you do, just ignore me unless I approach you. In that case continuing as you’ve done is fine."
Wow, way mysterious. I bowed in acknowledgement. "Thank you, Sensei."
"Now, you’d best go shower and change back so you can get to your next class."
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
As we walked toward our Spanish class, I thought about things. "This school is AWESOME."
"It is, isn’t it, Dan." Renee responded.
"Yes, sorry, I was thinking out loud I guess."
"I didn’t know you were that good at Judo, Dan."
"Umm. I’m okay."
"You’re more than okay, Dan. I guess this is like your piano playing." I looked at her sharply. "You said you were okay there too. But every time I hear you, I can tell how good you are. You really love the piano, don’t you?"
"I do. Would you believe my folks had to push me to practice when I was little? I mean, I started lessons, in my after school program, when I was five, without telling my parents. They only found out after I’d been doing it for two months and the program asked them to pay for the lessons."
Renee snickered at that.
"But, in first grade, I started getting bored with it. The teacher was having me do scales and such, rather than playing songs. My parents had to push me to practice. I remember my dad said once or twice, ‘We’re paying for your lessons, you’ll practice. If you want to quit fine, we’ll stop, but as long as you want to play, you will practice.’ I suspect mom talked to my teacher though, because shortly after the second or third time of getting that lecture, my teacher let me pick out a song to work on along with the ones he picked. I was much better at doing my practicing then. And by third grade, I was practicing without prompting." I paused, hearing the sound of voices, and saw the rest of the year arriving.
"Joining us for Spanish?" asked Mark.
"We thought we’d suffer and bring ourselves to sit with you mere mortals just this once," I replied in as haughty a voice as I could manage.
That got a laugh from Mark. "Whoa, I walked right into that one, Dan." With that, we all went into the class.
I got another chime just before the end of the class, and looking at my PDA, I saw they’d moved up my appointment with the education department muckety muck. Looking up, I saw that the teacher was putting away her PDA as well.
"You had best be on your way, Dan. Hasta luego."
"Adios, Seá±ora Gutierez." I gave Renee a thumbs up, so she wouldn’t think anything was up.
I was surprised to see Mr. Hobson waiting outside my room. "Come along Dan. I’ll be introducing you to Mister Johnson."
"Why would someone from the education department want to talk to me? Or are they talking to random kids from different classes?"
"Today, he asked to speak to you by name, which is unusual. I think he’s checking up on you as a favor for your parents." At my troubled look he asked, "Something about that bothers you?"
"My dad almost never works around the system. He’s always said that it’s better to work within the system and get it to do what you need. It doesn’t sound right he’d go at it this way."
"I see. Perhaps Dr. Johnson just sees this as an opportunity to check on you, as you’re the first non-British student to be selected to attend our school."
I thought that made some sense, but was still disturbed by something. Then I recalled he’d postponed the Mix-up Monday exercises. "He doesn’t know about all the things that go on in the school, does he?"
"What? Why do you ask?"
"Well, you postponed the Mix-up day. That started me thinking, and it occurred to me that he probably wasn’t aware that we did Mix-up days or you’d have let it go on. Going from there, it made sense that it was likely that there were other things about the school he didn’t know about. I’m guessing now, but I figure the entire dressing bit is part of it, and the support for transsexuals would be another area. But, I’d think the extent of our computer systems might also be more than he’s aware of because I’ve never heard even hints of schools automated even half as much as this one is."
"We’re not unique Dan, but I am impressed by your chain of deductions, even if your grammar was off a bit. I think Dan was right in insisting that we expand your specialty to include intuitive reasoning."
"That’s something else, our specialties. That doesn’t sound like stuff other schools do, and I’ve not been able to figure out why we have them or what they do other than give you something else on which to assign work."
The head chuckled at that. "You’re right on that as well. But, our basic curriculum and the music department are well known to Dr. Johnson. In fact, he sometimes attends some of our dress rehearsal concerts."
Is Mr. Hobson hinting at safe areas to discuss? I suspected that those areas the education department wasn’t aware of as yet, he didn’t want them clued into. Talk about a minefield! Geeze.
We arrived at another room, and Mr. Hobson knocked. Receiving an acknowledgement, he opened the door. "Hello, Sam, I met Dan in the hall, and thought I’d introduce him to you. Dan, this is Dr. Samuel Johnson. Sam, as you probably have guessed, this is Dan Humphrey."
"Thank you, Quentin. I’ll try not to keep him too long. I know you have lunch scheduled fairly soon and knowing teen boys like I do, I’m SURE Dan here would not like to miss lunch, especially given the quality of food you offer." Turning to me, he said "I’m looking forward to lunch myself. One big benefit of a school this size is that you don’t get stuck with the run of the mill institutional food. But, I probably don’t have to tell you about that."
I laughed at the last, knowing he was referring to school cafeterias. I guess they must be the same the world over. The food had been okay in Naples and Athens, and Westminster had had decent food, but nothing to compare to Hayfield!
"We’ll see you at lunch, Quentin."
"All right Sam."
"Have a seat, Dan." He said indicating a chair and taking one himself. "How have you found the school so far?"
"It’s been really awesome, sir. I mean the orchestra is amazing. I just hope I can measure up. I got to see them perform when they did their field trip to Italy a couple years ago."
"I can agree that the students here put on a good performance. I make it a point to get to as many of the dress rehearsals as I can manage. But back to your experience here, how have you found the classes?"
"So far, they’ve only been a bit more challenging than what I saw at Westminster, but they’ve said they’re letting us get out feet under us and get used to things before they start increasing the workload. All of the teachers seem really good and really seem to care about all of us." He nodded at this. "Another thing, they seem to go out of their way to provide extra help if someone needs it. And having a partner for studying seems really neat."
"So you like the study partner concept, do you?"
"Oh yes, sir. I was nervous about it to start with, but I’ve found it really helpful. When Renee has a question on something, I find I get to understand it better by having to explain it to her. She’s helped me a lot, too. And, having someone else to review with makes things much clearer in general." I paused.
"So your study partner is a girl? What do you think about that?"
"Well, there are five girls and three guys in our year, so there had to be a mixed pair. So far, it has worked pretty well. I mean, she’s smart and all."
The conversation went on a while more, when he asked more about my impression of other aspects of the school. I tried to avoid some of the issues I’d discussed with the head, and found it fairly easy to do actually. He didn’t seem to have a clue those topics exist.
"Thank you for taking this time to talk with me, Dan. You’ve confirmed most of the things we’d already known and expected from discussions with the staff here. I just wanted to make sure you were getting along well, since you are our first foreigner at the school. Is there anything you would like me to pass on to your parents?"
"Oh sir, that wouldn’t be fair. None of the other students can have personal messages sent out, just letters. I’d really rather not receive special treatment."
"If you’re sure, I certainly wouldn’t mind bending that rule for you."
"Oh I’m sure. Please, don’t even tell my parents you talked with me!"
"All right young man. I do respect your sense of fairness. Am I right in guessing you’d prefer to not be singled out in the future as well?" I nodded. "All right, I’ll make it a point to not ask to speak to you by name from now on. I can see how your new friends might think you were getting a special privilege, and I hope today’s meeting doesn’t cause any friction."
"Thank you, sir." About then, my stomach made a fairly loud growl. "Oops, sorry about that, sir."
He laughed. "I’ve kept you long enough. I was once young enough to need more regular feeding than I do now. Let’s go avail ourselves of the outstanding lunch they’ve made available." He stood up, so I quickly got up as well.
Lunch was uneventful. I really hoped he didn’t call me out to chat again. I think I’d avoided saying anything that the head wouldn’t want shared. We had some time to ourselves after lunch, and went to the common room to hang out and see what the others were up to. Eventually 2:00 came around, and I told the others I’d see them at orchestra rehearsal. I was off to my third special meeting of the day. I’d weathered the other two, hopefully this one wouldn’t be too bad, though I really was nervous. As I thought about it, I found I was actually more nervous about this than I’d been about my judo evaluation this morning.
The door was open when I got to the room, so I stuck my head inside. "Oh, there you are, Dan," said a lady coming out of an adjoining room. "Come on over here and let’s get acquainted."
I went in as directed, and sat down on the chair opposite the one she was sitting in. "I understand from Dan that you want lessons in presenting like a female. Would you mind explaining why?"
"Well, in some attempts to get ready for the mix-up today, it quickly became apparent that I looked like a guy in a dress and I found that thought disrespectful."
"How so?"
"Well, some of the other kids here are girls, or at least they are inside. I feel that just dressing like a girl would be making fun of them. Someone suggested I could try to clown it up, but I’ve never liked that kind of thing. So, I felt that if I had to wear girls clothing, I should learn how to do it as best I can present myself as much like a girl as possible."
"So, you have no desire to be a girl?"
I’m afraid I was real imaginative by my reply. "Huh?" Thinking back on it later, I was a bit embarrassed by that.
"Your desire to dress like a girl is not driven by any desire to be a girl, or understand what a girl goes through?"
"Not exactly, I figured the second half was part of what was involved in learning how to look and act like a girl."
"I see. Well, I think we can work well together," she said with a smile.
"I’m glad to hear that. I really don’t want to look like a clown or a guy in a dress when I have to do this."
"Here’s how I expect we’ll handle this. We’ll first start on the big things, the stuff that visually tells people looking at you that you’re a guy or a girl when you’re standing still or walking. Then, we’ll move on to more and more subtle things in mannerisms, word selection and even how you pitch your voice."
"Let’s start by seeing where you are. Please go change into the shoes and skirt you’ll find in the changing room." She indicated the room she’d come out of earlier. I guess she had expected things to work out and was putting the stuff in there. I saw the skirt was about the same length as the one I’d had on the other night, and the shoes had a lower heel.
This should be pretty easy. After I got the skirt on, I noticed she’d not included any stockings, so I stuck my head out. "Do you want me wearing these barefoot? Or, do you have some stockings I should wear."
"Well, you passed the first test." She got up and walked over to a chest. "These should do the job for you." I looked and saw she was handing me a ball of nylon.
"Thank you." As I put them on, I saw they were only up to my knee, which looked a little funny with the skirt, but put on the shoes next anyway. As I walked out, I asked "Wouldn’t something longer be better here?"
"Longer?"
"Well, either the skirt should be longer, to cover the top of the stockings, or the stockings longer so the top doesn’t show."
"That’s correct. Either of those would resolve the issue. You spotted that, too. Since neither has impact on what I’m looking at right now, let’s leave things as they are." She paused and looked me over. I wondered why, and then realized she checking how I’d put things on. "Pretty good job, Dan. Generally that style skirt is worn a bit higher on the body. You have it where you’d normally pull up your trousers." She indicated where the skirt’s waist should be, and went on. "That’s one difference you’ll see in many women’s clothing. We have higher waists than most men. Your waist is actually higher than average, and you do have hips. Have a walk across the room and back, please."
I was about half way down the length of the room when she said "Take smaller steps, Dan." I did, but I didn’t really see the point. I got to the end, and turned to walk back. "Take a seat please." I continued over to the chair, swept the skirt under me and sat down. Then, I remembered to tuck one foot behind the other one. I sat there quietly, wondering what would happen now. "I saw the brief hesitation before you tucked your right foot behind your left. Am I correct in guessing someone told you that you should be keeping your knees together and that crossing at the ankles was one way to achieve this?"
"Yes, ma’am."
"Dan, since we will probably be working together for a while, you’d best call me Kelly."
"Okay, Kelly. Did I do something wrong?"
"No, you did much better than I’d expected from your comments actually. Many guys have issues with those low heels, and your arms swung fine. You even took care of the skirt without pausing."
"When you told me to sit down again, I thought about the things I’d been told by my friends. I almost forgot the legs."
"Ahh. Well, by the time we’re done, you won’t have to think about it." she said smiling. I’d like you to try a few more sets of heels." She pulled out a box and handed it to me. "These have a one inch heel. Based on the ease you had with the ones you have on, I suspect you’ll be fine with these too. Meanwhile, let me go get two more pair."
While I changed shoes, she went into yet another room, and returned with the boxes. "Done, good, let’s see you cross the room again. Remember shorter steps than you’re used to."
I got up and brushed my skirt smooth before walking across the room. These were about like the shoes I’d been wearing already, and I had no more trouble with them, than I’d had before.
"You were practicing with the highest heels in your closet, weren’t you?"
"Yes, Kelly. Andy suggested them."
She laughed at that. "Yes, he would suggest the highest to start with. Okay, try this pair. It’s a bit different style. It’s a sandal and has a strap that goes across the ankle."
I could see the strap she was referring to. With the strap open, getting the new shoes on was easy! Now, how to buckle the strap; I can’t just cross my legs. I slid forward in the chair a bit, and put my foot beside the chair before leaning down, and buckling the first one with my left hand, and then I switched, and did the same with my right.
"Well done. You appear to have realized that crossing your legs to buckle the straps was a bad idea. Why?"
"Ummm, It would have raised my skirt, and since the buckle is on the outside, it wouldn’t have helped all that much."
"Good, let’s see you cross the room again."
I got up, and felt my balance off again. "Just a second." I paused and got the feeling of things. These shoes shifted my center of gravity a bit forward of where I was used to. "Okay." I headed off across the floor, and after two steps, remembered to shorten my stride. That made walking easier. I turned back, with a smile on my face. It was good understanding why shorter steps helped.
"I saw you shorten your stride to adjust for the heels. Well done there. I’m surprised you’re having so little trouble. Why did you pause when you stood up?"
"I could feel my center of gravity had moved, so I needed to adjust for it."
"Okay, try these three inch heels. Same routine."
I nodded, and while I managed to cross the room well enough, I could feel my lower legs tightening a lot!
"You’re massaging your lower legs. I take it that was uncomfortable?"
"Yes, they feel really tight right now."
"That’s not surprising, you’re not used to walking with heels like that, and you were stiffer walking." She thought for a minute, then said "Why don’t you change back into your things, then we’ll chat about what to do next."
I took those shoes right off, and then the stockings. Then, in my bare feet, I went to the changing room to get dressed again. I hung the skirt back on the hanger, and taking it, the stockings and the shoes, I went back out to see Kelly. "Am I doing something wrong?"
"No. You can hang the skirt on the hook over there. The stockings go in the chute, and the shoes in this box." After I’d put them all where she’d indicated, she asked me to walk across the room again. I wasn’t sure what the issue was, but complied.
"Have a seat, Dan. I think you’ll find this easier than you expect, but it’ll still not be over easy. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"I don’t think so."
"While you were growing up, did you ever get teased about things by other kids?"
That was certainly not what I’d expected. I sat and thought about it. "Maybe there was some teasing, but not much really, and certainly not in the past year."
"What happened then?"
I laughed. "I finally caught up with my feet, is what my mom said. I got a lot bigger, and became one of the taller kids in my grade. I seem to have stopped growing for now though."
She nodded. "Okay, how fast do you want to learn this, and how serious are you about it?"
"As soon as possible, and if I wasn’t serious, I’d not be here."
She nodded, as if confirming something to herself. "Okay, if you really want to learn as fast as possible, then you will have to live the part."
"I can understand that. But from the way you’re saying that, I think you’re implying something like full time."
At her nod of confirmation, I gulped, closed my eyes and took a big breath. "I’ll do it, starting when? I’m sure it shouldn’t be before Dr. Johnson leaves."
She smiled. "It’ll not be as painful as you appear to believe. Nobody will make fun of you, I assure you! As to when, you are correct in your guess that you shouldn’t start before he has finished his visit. Starting sooner would just lead to unpleasant questions that serve no purpose.
"What I’d like you to do, since your balance seems so good in them, is to use these sandals and wear skirts and blouses for the rest of the week. You’ll meet with me daily, and we’ll touch on things to help you out. If you like, you can ask your friends to point out errors you make as well. That may be uncomfortable for you, but it will speed things up."
"At night, too?"
"That’s up to you, but I think you’ll find it helps."
"What if my legs start to hurt?"
"Well, from what little I saw, I think the worst you’ll feel is a little tightness. I’d strongly suggest you stretch well each morning and evening. If your legs do begin to hurt, you should shift to a lower heel for a few hours."
"Why do you want me using the higher heel?"
"Well, for two reasons, actually. First, it seems to help you remember to take the smaller steps that are appropriate for how you will be presenting. The second is that it changes your gait a little and makes your walk appear a little more feminine all by itself. If you find yourself thinking about your walking, you can’t think about other things. In addition, thinking about it, you’ll likely end up exaggerating the motions, which would produce just the effect you’ve said you wanted to avoid."
"Oh wow." I heard her PDA chime, and I figured my time was up. "Be gentle with Renee, please. She’s really nervous talking to folks she’s not met before."
She looked at me sharply. "Renee’s your study partner, isn’t; she?" I nodded. "The two of you agreed to do this at the same time as well, didn’t you?" I nodded again. "Okay. Thanks for the warning; I’ll pass it on to Simon. Please don’t tell her anything about your session, except that it went well, and that I asked you to wait until later to talk."
"Simon?" I paused a moment, and realized I’d forgotten Renee had a different teacher, and that Kelly must be referring to Mr. Green. "Duh, I feel like an idiot. I know she’s not working with you." Catching my breath, "Thanks, she’s seeing him shortly."
She laughed at that. "Yes, though I don’t know about short. Simon is one of the taller gentlemen around here."
I laughed with her. "Okay. Thanks Kelly."
I headed out the door, carrying the sandals in their box. Renee was just coming from the other direction. "Hi Renee, Kelly was really nice. If Simon’s anything like her, you’ll have an interesting time."
"I’m worried about It, Dan. I’ve never met him before."
"You want me to walk with you?"
"Would you?" At my nod, she continued, "Thanks, Dan."
"Hey, I said I’d be there for you, all you had to do was ask! Now, where is his room?" I said, turning back the way I’d come.
We walked quietly down the hall. "Dan, what did you have to do?"
I checked my PDA for the time, and saw it was getting close to her start time. "Mostly walk around in heels; she gave me another pair to practice in." I indicated the box under my arm. "But, since we’re almost there, I’ll tell you more tonight." I didn’t want to worry her about my plans for the next few days. I also didn’t want to tell her too much about what I’d done, since Kelly’d asked me not to.
"Okay. Wish me luck."
I gave her a quick hug. "I’ll wait for you if you want, Renee. But, like I said, Kelly was really nice, and I’m sure Simon will be, too."
"Thanks, Dan. If you’re sure you don’t mind?" She paused, then quietly, "I don’t know what I’d do without you, Dan."
"The feeling’s mutual." We ended back in a hug.
Moments later we heard someone clearing their throat, and jumped apart. "Excuse me. Are either of you Renee MacInnis?"
There, addressing us, was a very tall and slim man. He must have been as tall as that Broadway guy Timmy Tune or something. My folks had some videos that showed him dancing.
He turned to me. "Well, if you’re Miss MacInnis, I can see we have a lot of work to do." His voice was very serious, but I could see what I thought was a twinkle in his eye. It also got a snort out of Renee.
"No, sir. I’m afraid not. I’m Dan Humphrey. But, if you think I need help, maybe I’d best schedule some time when I’m done with Kelly."
"I’ll do my best for you, of course." he said, with a bow to his head. "Then this young lady must be Miss MacInnis. Would you mind introducing us, Mr. Humphrey?"
"I’d be glad to, sir. You are Mr. Green, aren’t you?"
"Yes, how remiss of me. I’m forgetting my own manners. Simon Green, at your service, Mr. Humphrey."
I turned to Renee, and tried to keep myself from laughing. "Miss MacInnis, this is Mr. Green. Mr. Green, this is my partner, Miss MacInnis."
"Enchanted my dear. Now that we have the introductions out of the way, shall we get on with your lesson?"
He turned, and entered a room and the two of us followed. I could see it had some similarities in size to Kelly’s, but was much different in décor.
"Mr. Humphrey," he said as he turned and noticed that I’d followed as well. "These lessons are generally private, at least initially."
"Renee asked me to be here, sir."
"For the first part, I’m going to have to insist that you wait outside, Mr. Humphrey. If she still desires your presence after that, I may be able to allow it."
Thinking back to how my session had gone, I guessed he wanted time to discuss reasons and goals privately. "Renee, are you okay? I’ll just be out in the hall if you need me."
At her nod, I turned back to the door.
"Mr. Humphrey, we could be a half hour." He turned to Renee, "Miss MacInnes, why don’t you let Mr. Humphrey take his box back to his room, and return then."
Renee agreed. I was a bit concerned, leaving her as nervous as she was. "Renee, I’ll get your trumpet, so we can go straight to orchestra rehearsal when you’re finished."
I guess reminding her about orchestra helped, because she gave a hint of a smile before she responded, "Thanks, Dan."
On my way back to my room, I thought about how things seemed to be bothering Renee, and wondered what could have made her so nervous around people. I’d just have to do my best to be there for her. I wandered back to the rooms, and put away the sandals. I think I’d best tell Ingrid and Fran my plan for tomorrow, so they’re not surprised. I dunno how much time I’ll have tonight.
I grabbed Renee’s trumpet, and went over to knock on Fran’s door.
"Hi Dan, how’d it go with Kelly?"
"How did you know I was seeing her?"
"Just a good guess, I figured with you being pulled out three different times today one of them had to be with her. What did she think?"
"I only have time to go through the story once right now, so can we grab Ingrid too? I kinda think she should hear it, too."
"Good idea." She went over to knock on the door to Ingrid’s room. Shortly we were seated and I briefly described what I’d been through, and what she wanted me to do starting in the morning.
"Wow, that’s intense, Dan. Thank you for taking it so seriously, though I can’t say I’m really surprised."
"Fran’s right, Dan, I’m glad you are, too. We’ll both keep an eye on you and bug you when you mess up." Ingrid paused then. "I thought I’d sent Kate a note asking for the lessons too. Let me check and see if anything’s scheduled yet." She pulled out her PDA, and looked. "I feel like an idiot. It’s still sitting here in my drafts folder. I must have gotten interrupted before sending the note. Let me do it now."
I laughed at that. "My dad said that happened to him once, and it was a report he was supposed to have sent out. He got in the next Monday morning to have the consul giving him a dressing down for not getting the report to him on time. Once they found out what caused the error, things were okay, but Dad said ever since, he makes it a point to check his drafts folder at the end of every day, and first thing each morning."
"That’s a good idea. Maybe I could have had my appointment by now. What’s this teacher like?"
"He’s really formal, and was really smartly dressed." My PDA chimed, and when I looked down, I was glad that I’d set myself a little reminder while walking back to the rooms. "I’ve gotta run, maybe we can chat more this evening. I’m meeting Renee, and then we’ll be off to rehearsal."
After I got back to the room I put the shoes in the closet with the rest. I checked my PDA, and saw I had only a few minutes, so I ran into Renee’s room, and seeing her trumpet case beside the door, I grabbed it and was off.
"Is there a reason you’re running indoors Dan?" I skidded to a stop and looked around.
"Sorry, Becky. I was supposed to meet Renee in a few minutes outside Mr. Green’s room and I’m running late."
"Be more careful, young man. If I’d not heard you coming, I might have stepped out in front of you, rather than behind you." I hung my head at that. We’d have both ended up on the floor I suspect. "We can talk more later, if you need, but most things are rarely so time critical, at this point in your school career, that you have to run." She smiled at that.
"I’ll be more careful, Ma’am."
"No need to get formal now. Just be careful and go find your study partner."
I thanked her, and took off at a little slower pace. Eventually I got back to Mr. Green’s room, and took a seat on the floor outside the door. Just after I got seated, the door opened and Mr. Green asked "Why don’t you come in now, Mr. Humphrey. There’s no need to sit on the floor."
I came in, and saw Renee standing still on one side. She wasn’t moving. What the heck is going on? Is this some strange exercise he’s got her doing? I glanced back at Mr. Green, and he indicated that I should have a seat by the door.
"Now Miss. MacInnes, you may relax now. Okay now slowly turn toward the door, and walk over here." From what I could see, she was walking just like she did before. "Mr. Humphrey, would you mind helping us out a bit?" I looked up, surprised, "Sure, Mr. Green."
"All right, please walk over and stand where Miss MacInnes was standing a moment a go. Yes there, and look at the corner of the room and stand still." I complied, wondering what he was attempting to show her. This was certainly nothing like what I’d been through earlier. I guess it’ll eventually make sense.
"Miss MacInnes, please sit in the chair Mr. Humphrey just vacated." I assume she did so, because I could hear some motion behind me, but they were just out of my peripheral vision.
"All right, Mr. Humphrey, turn and walk to the door, like Miss MacInnes did." I turned, and walked over, only to see him give me a look. "You’re a dancer, Mr. Humphrey?"
"No, Sir." I wonder what brought that up.
"Never mind." He walked over to a cabinet I’d noticed on the wall, and when he opened it, a TV was displayed. "Miss MacInnes, please come over here. There is something I would like you to watch."
I walked over as well. We saw her standing there, and then turn and walk to the door. "You recorded me!" Renee said.
"Only at certain points Miss MacInnes, primarily to allow you to see yourself how others perceive you." I heard a click and looking at him, I saw he had a plastic controller of some kind in his hand. Looking back at the screen, I was in time to see my picture coming over. "Do you see any difference in the walks?"
"I do, but I’m not sure what I see," I replied.
"The question was to Miss MacInnes, Mr. Humphrey. Miss MacInnes?"
"Well, his walk is smoother than mine."
"Yes, that it is, but that’s not what I was referring to." He fiddled with the control again, and both our images were side by side. I could see our walks were different, but I didn’t know what he was hinting at. I suspected I’d need to find out eventually.
"You mean the hips moving for me more, and his not?"
"Exactly, Miss MacInnis. It isn’t as apparent with Mr. Humphrey as it is with most males. His gait is more common with dancers." He turned to me. "That is why I asked you the question Mr. Humphrey. To what do you attribute your smooth stride?"
"Oh, that’s from my martial arts training, I think. Some of us used to try to walk on the rice paper, like in some movies, but we never managed."
He nodded at that explanation. "That explains it. Here, I’ll add one of the staff doing the same action. See if you can see the difference in the gait."
A few more clicks, and then there were the two of us, and Mr. Hobson. I smiled at that. "If you’ll watch Mr. Hobson, you’ll notice that his arms seem to swing from the shoulders more than the elbows, and that his entire torso participates more in the walk. Not all men involve the torso so much. Actually, you’ll find those with certain military training tend to do it less, though their arms do swing from the shoulders. Females with that background will also swing their arms from the shoulders, and their gait is typically more masculine. This is due to their marching, where the pace is fit to an average male’s height." Wow, I didn’t know all of that.
He paused then, and turned to us. "Now, Miss MacInnis, in order for you to be perceived as a male, you will need to learn how to suppress your natural walk and move more toward a masculine walk. A little exaggeration to begin with will probably help you, now that you’ve seen what the difference is. Other things you can do to mask your normal walk is to increase the length of your stride by a small amount. Men also do not tend to put one foot right in front of the other, it’s more of a sway from side to side, though with most it’s fairly subtle."
She nodded, as he continued. "You should practice walking alone, or where only a friend is around to observe. There are a few dance studios that you can reserve when classes are not running. They have a mirror wall, so you can see yourself." He paused, then "I would like you to work on this, and when you believe you’ve at least partially learned what you need, arrange for a follow-up session. If you have questions before then, you can mail me and I’ll either reply the same, or arrange for a meeting so I can help you. Do you have any questions, Miss MacInnes?"
She indicated that she understood, and he dismissed us. "I believe you have sufficient time to get to your rehearsal." I glanced down at my PDA, and realized we’d have to move pretty quickly.
We left, and walked over to rehearsal. "Are you okay, Renee?"
"I think so, Dan. He was so formal. It was like talking to a butler or something. It almost made it easier for me. Thanks for being there for me at the beginning and coming back."
I nodded, but didn’t have any time to respond since we had to separate to our own areas.
"Hi, Dan, do you remember everything from last week?" Andy was already there, with a smile on his face.
"I dunno, Andy. What are all those black bugs on the paper?" I said with a straight face. He howled, and Andrea came over to see what the joke was.
"What did you do to Andy?"
"I just asked him about all the little black bugs on the paper. I didn’t think it was THAT funny."
"It’s not Dan, except that I asked him the same question last year, and he was actually looking for the bugs before I laughed." I laughed at that.
"What seems to be the trouble back here?" I jumped, and Andrea responded.
"Sorry, Mrs. Russell. Dan just asked Andy about the bugs on his paper. I guess he’s remembering the gag I pulled on him last year."
She turned to Andy, "A little less laughter, Andy, we do have a rehearsal to get through."
He choked down his laughing. "Sorry Mrs. Russell, he just, sorry." He took a deep breath. "I’ll be okay."
The rest of rehearsal went like that last two. It was all I could do to keep up with my part.
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
As I was putting things away after rehearsal, Renee and Fran came over. "Come on, Dan, we ran over a bit, Ingrid doesn't want our table to be the last one to get to dinner."
"Okay, Fran. I've got my stuff put away now." I grabbed my music folder as we headed for the meal.
"Why the music, Dan? You can't practice in your room, can you?"
"I sorta can. By playing it on my keyboard, I can get the various passages straight in my head. That'll make it easier playing, I think. I'll just have to concentrate on hitting the right notes."
"Makes sense I guess."
When got to our table, sure enough, everyone else was still sitting in the same seats. Fran joined Ingrid on Tracy's right, and we took our seats to her left.
"Hi, I hope you all had a good day, and got to take advantage of the nice day outside."
Several nodded agreement with Tracy's comment. Then, Mr. Hobson got up, and said a few words about how well we'd all done with our visitors, then he sat back down. I couldn't figure out why folks were looking at me though, until Renee poked me, and Ingrid asked "You too tired tonight, Dan?"
Then it hit me. "Oops, sorry. Excuse me everyone." Renee and I got up to go get the food for the table. "Sorry, Renee, my mind was all over."
"It's okay now, Dan. If you want, we can talk while we get our homework done."
I nodded acknowledgement. The rest of the meal went off more or less normally. The only surprise was Tracy's quiet comment at the end, "Good Luck tomorrow, Dan. Any of us are available if you need to talk." I looked up at that and realized she's followed Renee and I as we cleared the table. "Your plan for tomorrow was relayed to us, so we could keep our eyes on you."
"Thanks. I may need it."
"You'll do fine." she said, smiling. with that, Renee and I joined the rest of the year walking back to the year room.
Back in the year room, folks were chatting. I could see Sally and Wayne talking. It was nice seeing someone taking the time with him. Mark was trying to get some folks to play some game on the computer.
I decided they all needed to know what was going to happen in the morning, and now was as good a time as any. "You guys, got a minute?"
"Whacha want? A different game, Dan?"
"No, Mark. I just wanted you all to know that I'm going to be wearing a skirt tomorrow."
"You've gotta be kidding?" He seemed to be taken aback at this.
I shook my head no. I'm gunna have to explain it some, I guess.
"You one of those transwhatsits girls the Head was talking about? No, sorry, shouldn't have asked." Mark's mouth seems to get ahead of his brain sometimes. Best respond, though.
"No. I decided that since we'll eventually have to do it anyway, I wanted to be able to do it right." Taking a breath, "I started ‘deportment' classes today."
"Was that where you went this afternoon, Dan?" queried Pru.
I nodded. Apparently Mark had been thinking about what I'd said, "Come on, man. You don't have to be so serious about this, do you?"
"I do, Mark. The rest of you don't, but I do. I don't know how to tell you why either."
"Well, it's your head, mate. I don't see how you're going to pull it off. I'm just going to clown it up when it comes time to do one of these mix-up days."
I nodded, "Andy, the percussion lead, said a buncha kids do that. I just didn't want to surprise you all in the morning."
"Thanks, Dan. Good luck."
"Thanks, Sally. And the rest of you, I appreciate you not laughing at me."
"We wouldn't do that, unless you were clowning, Dan," rejoined Pru.
I could see Wayne looking nervous, but wasn't sure what to do, so I walked over. "You alright with this, Wayne?"
He nodded. "Y-Y-Yes, D-D-an. C-C-C-an w-w e t-t-t-al-lk l-l-a-tt-er?"
"Sure, I'll poke you when we've finished our homework.
"P-P—P-oke?" He looked at me questioningly.
"Sorry I'll send you a text message. I'm used to just calling that poking."
"Th-Th-a-anks." He nodded understanding.
"Anytime."
I headed back over to Renee, figuring it was time we got some homework done, since we'd not had much time in the afternoon.
Pru was still there talking to Renee, "That's brave of you, Dan."
"Thanks, Pru."
"What are the classes like?"
"The deportment classes?" at her nod, "I've only had the one, the dressing is supposed to help me accelerate things. But, so far the class, or part of anyway, is an effort to make me be graceful and walk like a lady and such. I don't know how far the classes go." I couldn't suggest she ask Fran, though she'd have more of an answer.
"Is the teacher nice?"
"Oh yes, Kelly's really nice. She explained whatever I asked," I paused a moment, "but I just wasn't sure what to ask most of the time. We started with spending some time on why I wanted the lessons."
"That makes sense. Do you think she could help me become less awkward?"
"Hmmmm. Maybe. Other things can as well."
"Really?"
I nodded. "Dance for example; have you ever seen an awkward dancer?"
"No, now that you mention it, I've not. Nor gymnasts or ice skaters, either."
"Exactly. I think there are a lot of things to this deportment class, and if you want to try, I'm sure they will let you. But if all you're trying to do is be less awkward, something that works specifically there might help more."
"Maybe you could take Judo lessons with me," chimed in Renee.
"Oh, I could never do that?"
"It's actually a good suggestion, Pru; martial arts are not necessarily about fighting, though some have more aspects of that than others. It's more a way of thought and movement. You learn to know yourself. If the introductory teacher is as good as the guy I met this morning, he can really help you."
"Maybe. Could you..." she started hesitantly, "could you find out if I could do it, too?"
I thought about it. I didn't know how to contact Mr. Smith. Maybe Dan would. "I'll see. I don't know how to contact the teacher directly, but I've got an idea."
"Thanks, Dan."
With that Renee and I returned to our rooms to get our studying done.
"Before we get started, Renee, let me fire off a quick note to Dan about Pru's request."
"Sure. I'll go get my stuff and join you in your room." I nodded and sat at my computer to compose the note. I figured he knew about my plans for tomorrow, since Tracy had. So, I didn't bother mentioning that and just passed on Pru's query about joining in Judo practice. I was surprised at how fast he got back to me. I mean I know I sat there thinking about judo and Pru's request a bit after I hit send, but, before I could turn the chair, there was a chime indicating I had mail.
|
Wow, what the heck should I call myself? I can't put it off any more. Dani's too close to what my family calls me. I don't need that reminder. Five years will be long enough without getting reminded all the time. Anne? Nah, that's not enough different sounding to help me remember, I need something different.
Sitting there lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice Renee return. "Dan?"
"Whaa? Oh, sorry, Renee. I was lost in thought about what to call myself." At her blank expression, remembered we'd not had time to talk about our sessions before rehearsal. "Sorry, I'll explain in a minute. We should talk about how our classes went before rehearsal. I saw the end of your time with Mr. Green. How was the first half hour?"
She gave me a quizzical look, then "It was hard. He was asking me why I wanted these lessons, and I didn't really have a good reason. Sorry, Dan. The best I could come up with was that you were taking lessons on acting like a girl and I wanted to support you."
I had trouble knowing what to say to that. I'd thought she and Ingrid were interested in learning how, for the same reason I had. "Thanks, but it's not needed. Just helping me, and not teasing me is all the support I need. You don't have to keep going, if you don't want to."
"I will, for now. I don't like quitting. But, if I can't get comfortable talking to him it won't really work, will it?"
"Maybe not. I wonder if my martial arts training may have had something to do with my off walk."
"I don't know, Dan. Maybe you can ask your Judo teacher the next time you see him."
"It doesn't really matter right now. Was there anything special that made you uncomfortable around him? You seemed okay when I got there. Was it that he was so formal?"
"No, I'm afraid if he'd tried to be friendly, I'd have completely clammed up."
"You talk to me, and you talk to Dan."
"You're different. I dunno why, but you are. As to Dan, I, I had trouble at the beginning of the interview. But, he was funny enough that I was able to talk after a while."
"Wow, I had no idea."
"Sorry."
"Don't apologize to me. I'll just be more careful from now on!"
She looked up at me with a question in her eyes. I stood up, "Between the two of us, we'll make sure you don't have to deal with this kinda thing again," I said with conviction.
Renee jumped up, and threw her arms around me. "Oh, Dan, thank you."
I don't know why she trusts me like this, but it's a good thing she does. Maybe I should talk to Dan about all of this. He may have some ideas he can share. I know he said she'd have to tell me her problems on her time, but maybe he'll have an idea as to why she trusts me at all. "Always, Renee; I'm not going anywhere!"
After a few minutes, we separated. "What was your session like, Dan?" I could see her obvious change of topic, but figured it was a good time anyway.
"Let me show you something." I got up and got the shoes from the closet. "I guess I did okay. I got some homework though."
"New shoes?" I turned them so she could see the heels. "Oh. Those are higher than the ones you had in your closet before."
"Yes, she even had me try a higher pair, but they started hurting after a few minutes, so she said I should go back to these to practice." I saw Renee smiling at that, and decided I could go on. "It gets worse, Renee."
"How could it be worse than just practicing in higher heels?"
"She asked if I wanted to maximize the speed I learned, and I agreed."
"So? Does that mean you wear them in the room every night?"
"Well, sorta." At her questioning look, "Starting tomorrow, I'm a girl full time until I either quit, or pass the class." Her eyes got large at this.
"You're doing this for us, aren't you?"
"I can't clown this, Renee. I still believe that. So if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it to the best of my ability."
"Any way I can help, I will, Dan."
"Thanks, Renee. I told Ingrid and Fran while you were getting started and I was back here to get your trumpet. They said they'd help me too."
"Of course they will, Dan."
I happened to look at the time. "Oh, we'd best get our studying done. I also need to see what Wayne wanted."
We spent the next hour and a half working through our homework. I was seeing the benefit of a study partner with this. Whenever I wasn't sure of something Renee usually understood it, and I was able to fill her gaps. When we finally finished, I sent Wayne a note that I'd be down in a few minutes.
"Th-Th-Thanks, D-Dan," Wayne said as he opened the door and indicated I should come in.
"No problem, Wayne. What's up?" I took one of his seats.
"D-D-Dan, I'm w-w-worried a-a-bout th-the..."
I interrupted him, "Wayne, would it be easier for you to type your questions? It sounds like you've got a lot on your mind and it might be easier for you to type and let me answer. We can work with your stutter if you'd prefer.
"N-N-No, th-th-thanks." He pulled out his keyboard and began typing.
>> Thanks, Dan. This never occurred to me before. Most people don't have the patience to talk to me. <<
"Wayne, you've not run into that here at Hayfield have you? I saw you and Sally talking earlier in the year room.
>> Not really, Dan. Most folks just don't talk to me. <<
"Mark? No, don't tell me if you don't want."
>> It's okay. Mark's not bad. We just don't talk, which makes the homework a little harder. <<
"Just text me if you run into problems, Wayne. I'll either text you back, or come down. I'm sure there's no problem with others in the year helping each other. I'm sure once we look at automating stuff I'll be lost and need to be asking you."
>> Thanks, Dan. Maybe Mark will respond to texts too. But, that's not what I asked you to come down about. <<
"I didn't think so. It's about tomorrow?"
>> Only indirectly, Dan. I wanted more information about the special lessons you're getting. <<
I spent a little while describing how the session had gone. He interrupted with a few questions. Then an idea came to me. He seemed to have gotten the idea that my dressing tomorrow was a required part of the training. I assured him that it was voluntary on my part to speed things up. I wonder if the others have the same misconception. Then, I had a thought...
"Wayne, have you ever heard of James Earl Jones?"
>> You mean Darth Vader's voice? <<
"Well, from episodes four through six anyway, yes."
>> What about it, Dan? <<
"Did you know he had a horrible stutter as a kid and it took a special teacher that cared to help him get past it? I think it was in high school, but it may have been after he got to college. In any event the teacher found he liked poetry, and was able to help him work through the stutter to learn to recite the poetry. The rest, as they say is history. I dunno about you, but I can't imagine that voice stuttering, but from what I've read it was worse than yours. Maybe they can find something like that for you?"
>> Why should they? They tried speech therapy in my last school, and got nowhere. <<
"It doesn't hurt to ask does it? I mean, the worst they can do is say no. Everything I've seen about the school says they go out of their way to maximize our potentials."
He agreed to talk to Tracy about it the next day. I thought he should send her a message tonight, but he didn't want to bother her. I made a note to think about it myself. "Is there anything else you wanted to know? We're approaching curfew."
>> I'd no idea how late it was getting. Thanks so much, Dan. <<
I got up, "Anytime, Wayne. And remember to text me if you run into questions."
I went back to my room, thinking about what had just happened. It bothered me a bit that folks had not talked with Wayne much. I think I'll have a talk to Mark tomorrow. My thought about speech lessons for Wayne stuck with me too. When I got back to my room, I could hear Renee practicing on that pipe trainer. Now, what did she call it? Oh yeah, a practice chanter. I think I'll see if Dan knows about a speech therapist. I composed a quick e-mail query asking Dan about it. I was about to go next door to talk to Renee, when the PC chimed.
His note was a simple acknowledgement and that it was covered. I wonder what that meant. Not my issue? Or that they already had it scheduled but he didn't know, or what?
>> Dan, does that mean it's not my problem, or help is already planned? <<
>> LOL. I knew I should have either postponed replying to your message, or given you the long story. Here's a longer answer. In a small way, it may be your problem, just like Wayne's problem or any other problems that come up in your year is a problem for all of you in the year. <<
I thought about that, and then realized he'd sent more.
>> But, we are well aware he has a stutter, and are working on a solution for him. I'm sure he and Tracy will be talking soon. What brought it up tonight? <<
>> Oh, when I told the others I was going to be dressing up tomorrow and that I was taking lessons, he was one of the kids that came up afterwards wanting to ask questions. We just finished talking about it before I sent you the mail. <<
>> I see. <<
There was a bit of a pause then, and I was thinking he was done when, >> How was the conversation? <<
>> Oh, we got on fine, once I suggested he type his questions in so I could respond. <<
>> Was it that you were uncomfortable with his stutter? <<
I wondered where that question came form. >> No, I thought he had a bunch of questions, and if he wanted to get them answered he should have a clear way of asking. That way our time was spent talking about what he wanted, not me trying to understand him. He seems like an alright kinda guy. <<
>> Quick thinking. Have you decided on a name yet? <<
I acknowledged his question and sent him the name I'd chosen to use. It was the name my parents had planned on using for my younger sister, if she'd have survived birth. Hmmm, I wonder if I'll ever introduce my parents to this girl I'm going to learn how to pretend to be. Then an idea hit me. With all this mixed up dressing and such, it's not surprising they don't want too many outside visitors. I've never heard of a school that seemed to encourage this kind of diversity. I wondered if my folks would understand. I know they seemed to take Karen's declaration in stride. They'd not had her back to visit with her friend though. I guess I'll find out how that's going when I graduate.
About then, Renee finished, well stopped anyway, so I got up and headed over to her room. "Sounded like you knew what you were doing Renee." I said with a smile on my face. No, I'll not think about my folks right now and spoil the evening.
"Just getting done for now, Dan. I'd forgotten how much work this was."
"Are the actual pipes easier?"
That got a laugh. "No way. That's why we have these things. I'm glad the mirror's big, watching myself, I found myself curling my fingers to play, like I do on the trumpet. If I'd kept that up, I'd have developed a really bad habit.
"You don't put your finger tips on the holes?"
She laughed, and handed it to me. "Why don't you try?"
I took it, and noticing it had the same number of holes as a recorder, so I tried placing my fingers like I had on one, and found my wrists very uncomfortable. So, I moved my fingers around a bit more so the very tips lined up over the holes. "Something's not right with this. You'd get very tired hands really fast with this, and when I've seen pictures of pipers, their hands look relaxed. What's the trick?" I handed the chanter back to her.
"You don't use the tips of the fingers, of course. You use the pads. Here, let me show you." She positioned her fingers where the middle of her fingers were over some of the holes.
"But, how do you play that? You'd have to move the whole finger."
"Exactly, and if you're good, the fingers stay nice and straight." She demonstrated a little so I could see it.
"Okay, I see it now. Would you play a scale on that? It sounded off to me, consistent, but off."
"That's for two reasons. Here." She quickly played a scale.
"It sounds almost like a major scale, but the fifth is relaxed."
"Yeah, my dad said it was in mixalydian mode or something like that. I'm afraid I never really paid that much attention when I was a kid." She stopped suddenly. "Oh, Dan, I miss him so." She suddenly was in my arms. Whoa, I guess I need to be careful there. The piping questions sure brought back memories.
I just held her for a minute standing there, until she stopped.
"S-S-Sorry, Dan. I thought I was over that kinda thing." She gulped air, still clinging to me tightly.
"It's okay, Renee, I think it was my fault. I bet my questions about piping theory brought it back to you."
She sorta nodded into my shoulder. "Yeah, but, don't worry, it won't happen again."
I wondered if there were other topics that might set her off, and I wasn't so sure that she'd dealt with things yet after all. "It's okay if it does, Renee. You can talk to me any time. You've been there for me, and I'll be there for you. Together we can handle stuff."
"Uh, huh. Th-Thanks." She sniffed. "Oh, I've got your shoulder all wet." she said, stepping back.
Laughing, "I'll not melt, and the shirt will dry, so we're okay."
Renee smiled a little at my try at humor, "How was your meeting with the Minister this morning?"
Talk about changing the topic... Well, why not? I can tell her my suspicions as well. "It was strange. Initially, I thought he'd just picked me at random."
"It wasn't?" she interrupted.
I shook my head, "He asked if there was anything I'd like him to pass on to my folks." I sighed. "As much as an extra way to communicate with them would be nice, it wouldn't be fair to the others. Even worse would be if he got to know me, and had an unannounced visit on a mix-up day or at a time like in the next few weeks when I'm learning. Somehow, I get the feeling that the outside world doesn't realize how, oh, I dunno the right word. I guess how strange some bits about the school are. Can you imagine Westminster having a Mix-up day?"
Her eyes got a little wide at that, then "Can you picture those bullies in skirts?" Suddenly, she was laughing.
I roared at the picture. "They'd never survive." After a bit I settled down; "but, I'm willing to bet that this openness to differences and things like Mix-up day are a big part of why they don't allow parents and families to visit."
"That makes sense, Dan. Even if their kid weren't dressed funny, from their eyes, when they arrived, it's likely that someone they'd met before might be. Even worse, what if Fran's mum and dad were to visit."
I shook my head. "Not a good scene, from what she said." No, that can't be right. She's only twelve, and being a girl now. By the time she graduates, she'll have been full time for a long time and I can't imagine her changing back. I hope this isn't right. I'll have to keep my eyes and ears open to see if something comes up to confirm or let me reject that.
"Dan, where'd you go?"
"Oh, I had a strange thought, but it's really silly."
"Really?"
"What do you think will happen when Fran tries to go home when we graduate?"
Renee sat there a moment, and then her eyes got really big. "Oh, wow, Dan. Her dad will probably be home again by then, too. I hope someone from the school is with her then."
I thought about that. Yeah, that's easier to believe than what I was thinking. "That has to be it. After all the help they're giving her here, how could they send her home to her parents without backing her up in some way." Why do I sound like I'm trying to convince myself? Maybe I just want that to be the answer. I sighed. I'll just have to keep my eyes open. "I mean, the school has to protect itself too. If Fran had a bad experience going home, imagine how that would flare up, and maybe cause the school troubles." I guess that's why I don't really believe Renee's answer. I sighed again.
"Well, enough of that morbid stuff. Wanna help me pick out my outfit for tomorrow? I've gotta get something that goes with these shoes, since they're the only pair I have."
"Sure, Dan."
We spent a few minutes in the closet discussing the various blouse and skirt combinations. I ended up choosing a plaid blouse in greens, browns and orange shades and a khaki skirt, Renee said I could wear the white shoes with just about anything. I was laying out the clothes for the morning, when it suddenly hit me. I didn't know where to put my PDA.
"Renee, where do I put my PDA?"
"Hmmm. That's a good question, Dan. That skirt doesn't need a belt, so you can't put the clip through one of the loops it doesn't have."
"If I try to put it on the waistband, it'll jab me in the side. Besides, it would probably slip off sooner or later." She came over, and we looked the skirt over. "No pockets." I said, shaking my head. "No pockets. Whoever designed a skirt with nowhere to put things?"
Renee was looking at the band, "Looks like the seam is not tacked all the way across the back. You could put the clip through that."
I thought about that option. If I pulled it out before sitting down, it'd probably not be a problem. But, if it was just this skirt, it'd probably rip or something. "I'd better check some other skirts, to see if this loop is common. If it's not, then I bet the thing will rip on me tomorrow."
She giggled at this. "It's NOT funny, Renee!" and she laughed harder. Here I was stressing out, and she was laughing. I made myself mentally take a step back and look at myself and the situation. Taking a deep breath, "Okay, I guess maybe it would be a little; the idea anyway."
I went into the closet, and saw that in fact most of the skirts had a small bit of the band open. I just pulled at one, to see if it were strong, and saw there seemed to be a vertical seam on each end. Putting the skirt back on the hangar, I went out to see Renee again. "Well, if this one is made like those, you found the trick." I picked up the skirt I would be wearing in the morning, and showed Renee the extra stitching. "Looks like they recognized that we'd need to put our PDA somewhere, it's not like there's a purse in the closet that I could carry, even if I wanted to."
"Purse? Why would you put it in one of those? I could see using a handbag or shoulder bag."
"What's the difference? Isn't a purse one of those things you girls carry over your shoulder? That's what my mom always called it anyway."
"Ahhh, we don't call them purses, Dan. A purse is what we put money in, and a purse is put into a bag." She paused a moment, "And, you didn't look closely enough. There are some small handbags and even some clutch bags in there. The clutch bags look like they're intended to be used with the evening gowns." I'm sure my eyes got really big. "Oh, don't worry, Dan. Even though they're in there, I doubt you'll be expected to wear one, unless you wanted to."
I laughed at her teasing tone. "Not much chance of that..." then, feeling I should tease back, "around here, anyway."
"I can just see you madly hammering away on your glockenspiel, while standing there in an evening gown, Dan." laughed Renee.
I laughed at that picture myself. No, not much chance of that happening was there. "Can you think of anything else I might need for tomorrow?
She thought a few minutes. "I don't know whether you need tights or not. I doubt it, but you've been wearing trousers, socks and shoes, so you might not be comfortable in bare legs. Also, since you're not used to wearing the shoes like that, I'd guess that you'd want something on your feet until you're used to going bare."
"So, knee highs or pantyhose, I mean tights?" I asked, shuddering at the thought. I guess I'd have to get used to them, but I'd never considered wearing them before."
"Unless you want them to show, you'd best go with the tights, Dan. The skirt stops above the knees. If you were wearing flats, you could use socks of some sort, but those heels need tights or bare skin. Why don't you ask Andy his opinion? He said you could ask any time."
"Good Idea." Suiting words to action, I went over to my PC and as I sat down, I realized I didn't know his last name. "How do you send a note to someone when you don't know their name?" Not waiting for a response, I continued. "Maybe there's an orchestra listing. Well, what do you know, A. Robinson and A. Haynes ... Danged, he must be one of them. Let's see, the foot note. A. Haynes is the section lead. So, that must be Andy, as he's older than Andrea I think, bigger anyway. Andrea would know the answer and be able to tell me anyway."
"Wow, I love the way you just worked out Andy's name, Dan."
"What. Oh, was I thinking out loud?" At her confirming nod, "Sorry about that."
"It's okay. It was fascinating watching and hearing you go through all of that."
"''kay. I'll send Andy a note now. Maybe he'll get back to me tonight."
>> Andy, Do you have a few minutes to answer a question? Dan <<
Renee and I sat chatting about things for a bit, and then the computer chimed. I clicked the flashing icon, and up popped a window with Andy's smiling face.
"What's up, mate?"
"Ummm, you remember what we talked about when you were visiting the other day?"
"Yeah, but you got a reprieve didn't you?" he said with a big smile on his face.
"Sorta. But I stuck my foot back into it."
"Oh?"
"You remember how I didn't want to ham it up?" At his nod, "Well, I, umm. I started taking lessons with Kelly today."
I guess he wasn't expecting that. "You what?"
"I started lessons today. I want to learn how to do it right, so I'm not poking fun at any of the girls!"
"Whoa, slow down, mate. I know you were saying that when I was there, but this is a big step." He paused, "You decided to take her up on her suggestion to go full-time, didn't you?" His smile was returning.
At my nod, "Way to go, mate. It does work, though most guys here don't go through that, until they've been through several mix-ups. Even then, it's only a few. Others take the lessons as she teaches them, but don't go full-time until they've got a big chunk of it under their belts. Well, there are exceptions." He smiled, and looked over his shoulder as if someone else were in his room.
"Is your partner in there with you, Andy?"
"Yes, Stacy's right here." He paused then, and gave me a look, then continued "Study partners don't have secrets, Dan. Stacy knows about my visit over there." He paused again. "I'll be willing to guess that your study partner, Renee is right there, too." At my nod, "Hi, Renee."
"Hi, Andy."
"Well, enough of this chit chat. Let me guess, tomorrow's your first day full-time." I nodded again. He's really good at guessing this stuff. I hope I am when I get older. "What's the problem?"
"I'm trying to figure out if I need to wear pantyhose, I mean tights, or not."
"Why not just wear some socks?"
"They won't go with the shoes."
"Why not pick some shoes they will go with?"
I hesitated a minute, "Kelly gave me the pair I'm supposed to wear."
"Back up a minute, mate. You're kidding me now, right?"
"No, let me go get them, and I'll show you. Then maybe you can answer better." I turned to go, and found Renee standing there with the box. "Oh, thanks, Renee." Turning back to Andy, I pulled one of the shoes out of the box, and held it up so he'd be able to see it."
"I can see why you said socks wouldn't work, and you're right there." He shook his head.
"What's wrong, Andy?"
"Nothing, Dan. It's just that I'm surprised, that's all. I don't know of any guys that got to wear heels like that until they'd finished Kelly's class. I mean I was wearing the shoes in my closet, just like the ones you have, for a few months before she let me wear anything more. Well, enough of that. The answer to your question, for tomorrow anyway, is look at your legs. If you don't have any hair you can see from a few feet away, then you can go either way. If you do, you'll probably have to wear some darker tights to hide it until you can arrange to get rid of it." He paused again looking at me closely. "You're not shaving yet, are you?"
I sighed at that. "No, there's nothing to shave."
He laughed, "For what you're doing, that's actually a good thing. If you have a choice with your legs, try the shoes barefoot and see how it feels. If it's okay, you're probably fine. Unless you spend a lot of time outside tomorrow, you're not going to overheat with the tights, and most folks don't have too much problem with the interior temperatures, bare either."
"Thanks, Andy."
"Anything else, mate?"
"No, you're a lifesaver, Andy."
"Any time; good luck tomorrow. I'll probably make sure I bump into you to encourage you. What should I call you?"
I looked at him blankly for a minute, and then remembered. "Oh, Sophia."
"Nice name. See you tomorrow."
"Bye, and thanks, Andy."
With that, we both signed off. I thought about his comment that Stacy knew about his visit and how he and so many others had kept saying study with partners even when I'd just said partner. What's the difference? It's almost as if they really mean more, but don't want to admit it to new kids. Something else to keep my ears open for, I guess.
"Dan?"
I turned to Renee, and put the box and shoes down. "What's up?"
"Would you like me to dress up like a boy to keep you company?" came out in a rush. I knew she had been uncomfortable today in her class with Mr. Green.
"Thanks for offering, Renee. But, just being around to call me Sophia will be a lot of support, and to be there to talk to if I get buggy or anything. I think, knowing you're there, and accept what I'm trying to do will be so much more help."
I could see her relax at that, and knew I'd said the right thing in turning down her offer. I wonder how much it had taken to make the offer... "Okay, Dan. I'll be there."
We studied a bit more that evening, and before heading for bed, she gave me a quick hug.
Comments are greatly appreciated!
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
The ringing of my alarm woke me with plenty of time for everything in the morning, or so I thought. With a yawn, I tried to climb out of bed to do my exercises. "What the heck is …" I realized I was all twisted up in my sheets. I guess it had been a more stressful night than I thought. Looking at the twisted sheets, it appeared that I'd won the wrestling match, but it took me a little longer than normal to make the bed. I wondered a bit about the sheets. It had, after all, been quite a while since the last time it had happened. Nothing like a bit of exercise to relieve some stress. I took my time, and did a good relaxing workout. When I was done, I took a nice relaxing shower.
I came out of the bathroom wearing the panties and bra, and went to get the 'things'. I may as well get them warmed up as soon as possible. I shuddered at the cold on my warm body. Then, I put on the blouse, muttering about the buttons on the wrong side.
I guess I was a little louder than I should have been on that, because Renee called out. "You okay in there, Dan?"
"Yeah, I'm just complaining about the buttons again.
I heard her laugh. "You'll get used to it, Dan. Let me know when you're ready for help with the wig."
Do I want to get used to it? She's right, though, if I stick with it, I will get used to it. "Come on over, when you're ready Renee. I'm decent." I took care of the skirt and then tried on the shoes. No, I think I'll need the pantyhose like I was afraid of. No, that's TIGHTS. The straps on the shoes seemed to rub a bit as I took a few tentative steps around.
I slipped off the shoes, and began pulling on the tights. Hmmm, let's see if I can take care of this WITHOUT asking questions. With the knee highs, it helped to get the feet on before pulling it up, so these are probably the same. Putting thought to action, I slid my feet in and positioned the thin fabric. It wouldn't do to poke a finger through these things. Then, one leg at a time, I worked it over my knees, and then up my thighs. Danged skirt's in the way. I shoulda put on the TIGHTS first. I thought to myself as I realized how much trouble it would be getting them over my bum with the skirt in the way. Oh well, nothing for it. I unzipped the skirt and let it drop. With the skirt out of the way, I was able to pull up the seat. It was a pain keeping the shirt, no blouse straight under the skirt before. I wonder if tucking the tail of this BLOUSE in will help keep things in place? Why not? I tucked the tails of the blouse into the top of the tights, and then pulled the skirt back up. Yep, the skirt covers the top like I thought. It's not like I have to keep a proper gig line*, like the Marines, but It HAS to look nicer this way. I nodded to myself.
"Wow, Dan. You did that last like a pro. Why'd you tuck in the blouse like that?"
I felt a bit hot around the neck. I'd forgotten to warn her. Oh well, no harm, I guess. "It was getting twisted, when I was zipping the skirt and I figured this would hold it in place."
"Good Idea. I think I'll try next time."
I noticed then that she had worn a skirt as well today. "You didn't need to wear a skirt, Renee."
"No, but I wanted to. I figured if two of us were in skirts, well three if you count Fran, 'cause I'm sure she will be too, things would be easier for you."
"Thanks, Renee. Why don't you help me with the wig, before I put these sandals on again?"
"I could do it after you put those stilts on, if you kneel down, anyway." she laughed.
"Yeah, but I'm not so sure I'll be able to get back up, if I kneel." I bent down a little so she could get the wig on straight then pulled on my shoes. "And now to see how hard or easy the PDA is. Where'd you put yours?"
"Same place as you will, Dan." She turned so I could see it was in the small of her back. "It wasn't all that hard to put the clip in, and the PDA comes out easily enough when I need it too. You know, it's a good thing the clip holster's leather. With the PDA out, I could leave the holster in place and still sit down."
"Let me try." I pulled the PDA out of the holster, and then slid the clip into the slot that seemed to be there for it and patted my back. "I see what you mean." I walked over, and started to sit down on one of my chairs. I stopped myself and remembered to sweep the skirt out of the way first. "You're right; it's almost as if it weren't there." I got up, and brushed the skirt down and slid my PDA into the holster.
"You're lucky the skirt's lined, Dan. Otherwise you'd have had to wear an underskirt as well, to keep it from riding up with those tights."
"Oh? Okay, I'd not thought about that, though I did wonder a little at what those silky things were for. That's the slip, right?" she laughed confirmation. "I couldn't figure they were jammies, well at least not the ones that looked like skirts."
"No, those go under skirts to help them ride better and are called underskirts. The long ones that cover the top and bottom are slips. They're not necessarily needed with a lined skirt though."
My head was getting stuffed with all this new terminology. Luckily, at that point, I heard a knock at the door.
"I wonder who that is?" I asked, as I walked over and opened the door. "Fran, Ingrid, what a surprise." And, it was a surprise. Ingrid was ALSO in a skirt.
"Hi, Dan, no, SOPHIA."
I smiled at her self-correction.
"You're looking nice this morning," Ingrid responded.
"Thanks." Then, realizing she'd used both names and did a double take, "How'd you know?"
"Your name's in the system for anyone to look up. Once we all pick our alternate names, they go in. It helps folks keep track, until we get used to it anyway."
"I had wondered why Dan kept asking about my name last night. So, why the skirt?"
"Same reason Renee is wearing one, I suspect." she replied. "To show solidarity with you. I suggested that Sally and Pru do as well, but I dunno if they got my note."
"I don't know what to say to all of you. You're so nice."
"Thanks might work."
When she paused, Fran responded, "I don't think anything more is needed, Sophia."
"Okay, thanks." I took a deep breath. "Shall we get this walk out of the way, and make ourselves known for breakfast?"
They laughed at my attempt to sound important, and then, we all walked down. I noticed that these heels made more noise walking than the lower heels I'd worn down to practice the other evening with Renee. It seemed so long ago now. I really couldn't get over how much had happened. "Can any of you believe we've only been here a week?"
"Kinda amazing, isn't it Dan? I'd never have guessed so much could have been crammed into a single week before coming here. Now that I've seen it, I can believe their claims that we'll be taking our exams years earlier than we would have at another school."
"That too, Ingrid."
"Hey, wait up" came from behind.
I turned to see Sally and Pru walking quickly behind us. Sure enough, they were both in skirts as well, though I don't know if Pru was any happier about it than I was. "Thanks, Sally and Pru. You two didn't need to wear skirts as well."
"No, but we figured, why not? You're a good sport doing this, so it's the least we could do, Dan." Pru nodded agreement with Sally.
I turned toward Ingrid, "You didn't suggest that Mark and Wayne do it, too, did you?" I said with a serious expression. That got a laugh from all of us.
"No, she didn't, and even if she had, I'd have said NO." I'd not heard Mark and Wayne coming up behind us. "But, we ARE here to walk down with you too, Dan, oops, I mean Sophia." Mark completed his statement with a quick bow, and Wayne smiled.
"Oh, you silly goose. Thank you all, so very much."
"Y-Y-You w-w-won't th-th-ank us if w-we're l-l-late for f-f-ood."
"Very true Wayne, thank you for reminding us. Shall we?" I turned toward the dining room again and set off. Suddenly, I was feeling happy having so much support, and started whistling, We're Off to See the Wizard. It wasn't long before a couple others joined in. We were still whistling as we walked into the dining room.
We paused just inside the door and finished the chorus before walking to our table where Becky was waiting for us.
"Nice entrance. I don't recall the last time someone pulled something like that, and my, how nice all of you ladies are looking. Why don't we sit down, as I believe the gents have the duty this morning?" We all sat down in what were becoming our regular seats, except that this time, I noticed that Sally and Pru sat together just beyond Renee, rather than one on either side. Wow, what a bonus it'd be if my session were what it took to get us working together.
"Well done, Sophia. Would you mind if we had a little chat at some point this afternoon?"
"No, not at all Becky." I wondered what she wanted to talk about, and then recalled she was Pru's support person. I thought maybe it was about Pru's request for martial arts training.
She had her PDA out. I guess she was logging our session, because mine buzzed a minute later. I pulled it out to check. Hmmm, I wonder what will be happening in the 10 minute session with Mr. Smith, and this half hour grayed out block. Okay, I'm not surprised I have a session with Kelly this afternoon too. Ahh. Wow, Good thing Becky asked me about an appointment, I might not have known about the extras. Guess I need to get into the habit of looking at my schedule every morning, for overnight changes. Ahhh, there's Becky's appointment, too. I'm going to be busy again this afternoon. I wonder what the grayed out section's for. "Becky?"
"Yes, Sophia, is something wrong?"
"Not exactly, but I've got this half hour block of time that looks blocked out, but it doesn't say why."
"Ahh, don't worry about that. I should probably explain that to everyone." She raised her voice a little. "While Mark and Wayne are serving you, I thought I should explain another scheduling feature of your PDAs, since Sophia here has already run into it. If you see a block of time in your PDA that is grayed out; that means someone on staff has reserved the time. The rest of the staff can find out who blocked it out, but from your point of view it's an indication that you will probably get something extra in that timeframe and that either just shows up, or sometimes they get cancelled. They are nothing to worry about. One way they get used is by teachers who believe they may need to schedule an extra session for a student, but won't know until the normally scheduled class." She paused, then, "In any event, if that gray area gets used, your PDA will be updated to reflect this, with plenty of time for you to get where you need to go. Any questions?" At everyone's negative responses, "Well, dig in." she said with a smile.
I wonder what'll be in that spot? I thought to myself.
After that start, breakfast was no different than the previous days. I don't know why I expected it to be. Mark cut up every now and again. The rest also seemed to be acting as if nothing unusual were happening, and to some extent, I guess they were right. Thinking about Mark, reminded me I wanted to have a short chat with him. I leaned over and whispered to Renee, "After the meal, I want to have a quick chat with Mark about how he seems to ignore Wayne."
She looked at me, and nodded. "I'll wait outside in the hall, Da… Sophia."
There, that's taken care of, well a start anyway. "Thanks, Renee."
When it came time to clear the table, "Wayne, I'll take care of the dishes if you want."
"Th-Th-anks, Dan. I c-c-could use th-the time." He went off with the others, and I helped Mark clear the table.
"Mark, got a minute before we join the others for class?"
"For you m'lady, anything." he said with a bow.
"You're crazy, you know, Mark?"
"You're one to talk, SOPHIA." He stressed my name, trying to make a point, I guess.
"Okay, I'll take that," I said ,smiling. "What I wanted to ask about was why you don't talk and work with Wayne?"
"Huh? He's almost always sitting in his room, or off on the side."
I shook my head, "I don't see how you do it. It's all Renee and I can do to figure out some of the homework questions."
"You work together?"
I stopped, and looked at him, "Of course, we are study partners you know. We're SUPPOSED to study together."
He stopped to be able to keep talking to me. I saw his expression change. "I've never studied with anyone before, Dan. But, you're right; they have been calling us study partners all along, haven't they?" I nodded, not correcting his slip on my name. "But, have you tried talking to Wayne? He's always either off in his room, or sitting in a corner in the year room. And, that stutter…" He shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't imagine being able to carry on a long chat with him."
"Oh, that's not too hard."
"Huh? Come on, you're kidding me now. When did you ever have more than a few words with him?"
"Last night. He asked me to come over and talk about this." I indicated myself.
"That must have taken half the night. You must have the patience of the guy in the bible, umm, well I can't remember his name. I don't think I could have done it, Dan."
I laughed at the picture he painted. "The name was Job, Mark. And no, it wasn't that long, and we covered a lot of ground, actually."
"But, the stutters? Don't tell me it's faked."
"Not as far as I know. I suggested he text me the questions, and I answered verbally. It worked pretty well, too."
"Wow, that's a great idea. Thanks, Dan. I'll have to try that."
"You're welcome Mark, and the name's Sophia." I said with a laugh.
"Oh, you're the clown now, are you?"
"No, I'm going to learn to do this right, like I said last night. But, Dan told me that when we're dressed like girls we're supposed to be addressed that way."
"Okay, mate. If that's what you want, I'll do my best to remember. We'd best get a move on, Sophia." He took off at a quick walk. I followed, but couldn't quite keep up. These heels. Well, I'm getting used to them anyway.
When I got to the door, Renee was still there waiting. "Thanks for waiting, Renee. Sorry it took so long."
"Mark didn't look too upset there; guess your talk went okay."
"Yeah, he'd not even realized they were supposed to study together." I said smiling. "Hopefully they can work it out now."
About then we got to our class, which ended the conversation. The rest of the morning was, I won't say typical, 'cause I'm not sure what typical is yet. I guess interesting, is the best description. The classes were fascinating as usual.
I was beginning to think lunch might pass quietly. Then Andy came up just before I sat down. "Why hello, Sophia. I must say you're looking better than the last time we met." He had a big grin on his face as he turned to Wayne and Mark, "You guys really have it great with all these lovely ladies at your table."
I couldn't see Mark leaving a line like that alone, and he didn't disappoint me. "And how might you have met one of our ladies, my good man?"
"Why, she invited me to her boudoir, how else?" Andy replied with a smile.
I decided to intervene before things got out of hand. "Enough is enough. You guys should all know Andy. He's the percussion section lead, and he's Stacy's study partner." I watched Andy as I said that, and saw him smile. Yeah, I thought so. "He came over to help me out a couple days ago, when I was stressing about Mix-up Monday." At that, he gave a bow. "I'm suspicious as to why he was suggested, but he won't say until the next Mix-up Monday."
I arched my eyebrows at him and he just laughed. "Nope, I still won't tell you, Sophia."
I batted my eyes, "A girl can but try." At that, he laughed.
"Well, I see my fearless leader is waving at me, so I'd best get over." Seeing the questioning look on my face, "Stacy's our year leader, too. You'll be electing one soon." With that, he headed off to his table, and we sat down to lunch.
"Becky, what's this about year leader? I've heard it mentioned a few times, but so far we've not heard much about it."
"The year leader is one of you, one whom you agree you want to be able to speak for you on occasion. They will also occasionally get communications to pass on to the rest of you, though that's rare, since it's so easy to pass it directly. When on field trips, they will be responsible for keeping you all sorted, coordinating rooms and the like. There's a little more work for them, but not a lot. Well, unless you all decide to make things difficult for him or her."
"You say we pick our year leader? Sounds like an election."
"It can be, some years it has just happened and there was no need for an election. June, the current head girl was an example of that. By the end of the first week, it was obvious to everyone in her group that she was a take charge kind of person and had everyone's best interests at heart. Other years have had some campaigning even, though that extreme is almost as rare as the acclamation. Most years are able to decide fairly easily."
"So, we're stuck with whoever we pick for five years?"
"Stuck isn't the right term. Any of you are capable of handling the duties, I assure you. But, we've never found a need to change year leaders once selected."
"I see. Thanks."
"That's what we're here for, Sophia. Never hesitate to ask any of the support staff, or other staff for that matter, questions, or for help if you need it."
I nodded, and dug into the meal Wayne had just delivered.
After lunch, Andrea came up "You're looking good, um … right, Sophia. Sorry, I almost forgot, and I looked it up after breakfast this morning." She was shaking her head.
I had a questioning look, then "Can you show me where that information is stored? I figure I'm going to need it sooner, rather than later." I pulled out my PDA;
"Sure, did you figure out the slot for your PDA on your own, Sophia?"
"Sorta; Renee and I were trying to figure it out. She'd not been wearing skirts since the first day so didn't know. I found the slit by accident actually. I mean, originally I just thought it was a place they'd not sewn across all the way, then we noticed it was top and bottom of the band, and I found it'd been reinforced."
"That works, sometimes we have good accidents. In any event, getting the info is really easy on your desktop, so you can either use the function that lets your PDA be a terminal for it, or…" and she went on, and showed me how to get to the name cross reference information on the PDAs. "While I'm at it, you know how to contact the teachers too, don't you?" At my negative look, "You can get to them from the schedule, but they're in the same area we are. Why don't you look for some of the ones you're seeing now?"
I quickly found Sra. Guiterez and Kelly, "Hmmmm. I can't find Mr. Smith."
"Who?" She had a blank look on her face when I turned. "I don't know that one? Is he for your specialty?"
I thought about our discussion the one time I'd met him, and remembered he'd said to ignore him. But, also that he said something about teaching me to think. "Sorta. I think he's just an outside guy they got to help me continue my Judo."
She nodded at that explanation, "That makes sense, I think. You might check with your assigned support staff to make sure. I remember last year, we had a new history teacher, and his name wasn't cross referenced here on the first day. We had to find him through the class link."
"These PDAs access a lot of information, don't they?"
"You have no idea. If you want to know more, talk to June, the Head Girl." She paused a moment before continuing. "She only eats one first year a term." At my startled look, she laughed. "Not really. She's actually very nice."
"Okay, I'll think about it." Me a lowly first year, just walk up to a fifth? You've got to be kidding. Though, Andy's a fourth year, and he's really nice. Something to keep in mind, I guess.
"See you around … uh … Sophia."
I laughed. "Takes some getting used to, for me too. I keep getting surprised at hearing it."
She smiled. "You'll get used to it, especially if you keep this up a while. The ones that have trouble are normally the ones that only dress on Mix-Up days, or scatterbrains like me."
I laughed with her at her claim. Nobody here's a real scatterbrain, I don't think. "Makes sense I guess. Thanks again for the information, Andrea."
"No problem, Da… Sophia." She shook her head at that. "It'll get easier for the rest of us, as well."
I laughed, suddenly realizing that everyone else was supposed to learn and use my alternate name, too. "I guess it's easier with just me, today. Having to learn the whole year at once will be harder." At her rueful smile, "I guess it's good practice. Dad said he'd had to learn how to remember names of people he met for the first time. I bet he'll be surprised if I end up able to do that when we get out of here." I paused, thinking, "I dunno if I'll be able to tell him why I learned, though." I looked down at myself at that, then over at Andrea. I wonder why she has that expression?
"Yea, it's supposed to be good for us, but I'm lousy with names," she said with a sigh.
Maybe that's what she was thinking about.
She looked at her PDA. "Well, I'd best get off to my class."
Looking at mine, "Oops, I have to get over to the gym, too."
"Good Luck, Dan, Sophia."
I laughed, as I headed out the door. I wondered if Renee had Judo, too. She'd taken off after lunch when Andrea had stopped me, and I realized we'd not compared notes in the confusion of the morning. Well, I need to take the time to check from now on. Rushing in heels was certainly a new experience. When I tried increasing the length of the stride the way I was used to, they started jarring and it was harder to walk. So, I finally shortened my pace a little, but tried taking more steps. It threw me off a little, but I seemed to be getting the hang of it by the time I got to the gym. I opened the door, and found Mr. Smith standing there.
"Come in, Sophia, we need to talk." He walked slowly over to some chairs. I appreciated this, as my lower legs were a little stiff from the unaccustomed walking. "Have a seat."
I carefully sat down, taking care to sweep my skirt out.
"As I understand it, you're dressing fulltime for the immediate future."
"Yes, Sensei. I'm trying to learn this, as well as I can, to be respectful to my friends."
"Very well, had you considered that fulltime, included your practicing?"
I looked at him quickly.
"Obviously not, as you have no doubt discovered, your balance is different now, in comparison to the way it was when you were here for your evaluation without the breast-forms."
"Just a little, Sensei."
"Yes. Do you not believe that this change in balance will affect how you move?"
I didn't respond immediately, remembering how it had almost made me late. But that was just the heels, wasn't it? No, I'd noticed other things, when reaching across tables and such. "Sensei, it does affect my movement."
"Should you learn to move naturally, even when so dressed?"
Suddenly, I began to get a glimmer of what he was driving at. "You're suggesting that I do my exercises and workouts as a girl as well, aren't you?"
"I'm suggesting nothing. I am asking you to fully analyze your position, though."
I sat still again, and thought. I'm sure learning to act like, no that's the wrong term. If I'm going to honor them, I really need to BE one, at least when trying to present that way. Otherwise, sooner or later, I will do something that gives it away. I sighed, and shook my head. "I'd not thought about all the ramifications, Sensei."
"What ramifications are you referring to?"
"In order to fully honor my commitment, I need to learn more than just how to mimic girls; I need to learn to be one as well. That includes at night, as well as while participating in the art."
He nodded. "Is that your intention, now that you've thought of it?"
He's as bad as Sensei Tenaka with the hard questions. It was obviously a serious question. I took some time to consider what I'd said, and as much as I could about the ramifications. "Sensei, I believe I have to do so."
"I thought so," he said with a smile on his face. He pulled out a PDA, I'd not noticed. "I'll finish scheduling the area I blocked out. You'll be seeing Dr. Mayhew in that block. He'll be able to explain a few things to you that you'll need to know, if you're serious about this. Remember though, this is ALL voluntary on your part. You do NOT need to do it. I'm sure your friends will not feel less of you if you continue as you have been."
"Dr. Mayhew? You mean Kate?"
"No, sorry, I was referring to her husband, the school's GP. He will explain such things as how you will be able to affix your forms so you can do a full contact exercise, and not worry about them popping out."
I laughed at the picture, then sobered up. "No, you're right, that would not be a good thing. It would throw me and my opponent off, and one of us would likely get hurt." I wondered a little bit about what would be involved in sticking them on so they wouldn't get knocked off exercising. Sounds a little permanent to me.
He nodded. "Yes. Do you think Prudence Winter is serious about Judo?"
His change of subject caught me off guard. I was still thinking about the ramifications of my decision. "Whaa? .. oh, Pru, yes, at least as serious as Renee, anyway. I dunno if either of them will want to stick with it after the first few lessons, which is where they'll make the most mistakes and be likely to hurt themselves."
"Do YOU want them to continue?"
I had to think about that. Do I really care if my friends enjoyed Judo? I guess I did kinda hope so. "I think so, now that you mention it. It's nice when your friends share your interests."
"Is there anything you can think of that would increase their likelihood of enjoying the arts?"
Wow, he knows all the hard questions, doesn't he? "Well, with Renee, if you're not teaching her, I think the teacher for her almost certainly needs to be a woman. She's not reacting well to a lot of men. I think she was okay with you, because I was there to start with."
He frowned at that. "D'you know why?"
"No, but even if I did, I couldn't share my partner's issues without her permission."
"Under any circumstance?"
If he asks, hmmm. "Okay, if she had an issue or problem that threatened her health, or someone else's, I might have to. But, I'd tell her I was doing it, in advance, if I could."
He nodded. "It's important to think of the ramifications of actions. Is there any problem with thinking about them?"
Okay, he's asking the question, does that mean there is one? Let's start assuming there is, and see if I can think of it. I sat thinking for a few minutes.
"Do you have an answer?"
At his prompt, I suddenly got the key to an answer. "Yes, Sensei, if you let yourself become paralyzed thinking about things, you can get trapped. So, if you have the leisure to think about them, it's best to do so. But, if time doesn't allow, act on your best information."
That got another smile. "Very good. Is there some way you can make that task easier?"
Learning from him will be a challenge, but I actually think I'm going to enjoy it. "Sensei, just discussing that there could be such options with you, allows me to think about them and how I might react in the future. Having thought about the conditions, I think I'll be less likely to freeze in indecision, and with luck, I'll have already considered the problem or one like it, and be able to react more quickly."
"Yes, forethought and planning is part of operations analysis. One key thing for you to watch out for is situations that are similar to options you have considered, but differ in some small way. If you react as you planned, the small variation may be enough to cause you to fail."
"That's another reason you'd like me to study alternative arts forms, isn't it?"
He nodded, smiling. "Yes, remaining within a discipline can lead you to believe that any response needed can be found within the discipline, which can cause you to be blindsided at some point in time. My expectation that your responses would be predominantly driven by Judo, is one that helped you succeed in your last attack."
I nodded, "Thank you, Sensei."
He paused then, "As you're not ready for a lesson as a girl today, we'll finish now, so you can talk to Dr. Mayhew. Let him know what it is you're trying to accomplish and he will help you."
I was a little nervous about that, but figured that everyone else I'd met here had been helpful and nice; surely he would be as well. "Thank you, again, Sensei."
I stood, and bowed to him, and he returned it.
I know he said to ignore him if I ran into him outside class, but… What the heck. "Oh, one last thing, Sensei."
"Yes?"
"What do I do, if I need to contact you about Judo? I tried to ask about Pru, but couldn't figure out how to contact you. I mean, you weren't in the directory."
Wow, is that what they mean by a blank expression? I don't think I've ever seen something like that.
After a very brief pause, "You shouldn't need to contact me under normal circumstances, but I can envision a reason or two. I will have to think about it, and if a direct way is made available, I will let you know. Otherwise, continue to send messages through someone on the support staff."
I nodded. "Thank you, Sensei." Curiouser and curiouser.
As I headed off to meet with Dr. Mayhew, the word 'trepidation' came into my head. Trepidation is such a neat word. Maybe I should find some way to work it into conversation. I thought to myself with a laugh. I guess growing up the youngest in a household of readers and talkers gave me a bigger vocabulary than I thought. I know I've never heard anyone in any of my schools actually use that word in conversation. It just came up in stories, but it certainly describes how I feel now! What's this doctor going to be like? Why do I have to see him?
Comments are greatly appreciated!"
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
I found myself in another part of the building where I had not been before, but it did not seem very different. There were no signs or other markings on the doors here either, which I found rather peculiar. I guess it was true throughout the school. Then again, maybe my curiosity was more from nervousness than anything else. With directions, I could have found the room, I'm sure. It would have been easy, had there been labels on doors, and on the various halls and such. One of these days, I'll need to explore the whole building, and figure out what is where.
I realized I was just putting things off, hanging around in the hall, thinking, so I knocked on the door. I heard an acknowledgement and entered.
"Hello, Sophia, welcome," came from someone who looked like a slim Santa Claus.
"Dr. Mayhew?"
"In person, and how may I help you, my dear?" He paused, and I guess since I was still standing there in the door, "Oh, do come in, young lady, I won't bite you."
I walked in, but it felt a little strange, the way he kept referring to me as if I were a girl. "Ummm, Doctor."
"Yes, Sophia?"
"You do know I'm really a guy?"
He laughed out loud. "Yes, Sophia. I'm well aware of your genetic background. However, it's the school's policy to address a pupil using pronouns and such, based on the way they are presenting."
"I know, but you're a doctor. I figured it didn't apply."
"No, my dear, but if you're uncomfortable with this, why are you doing it?"
"It's not that, sir. It's just that I'm not used to it."
"You're not doing this because you believe you're a girl?"
"Huh?" I know, not very good conversation, but I was totally shocked by his question. I guess I probably shouldn't have been, but I was.
"How about going back to the beginning and starting again. Why don't you tell me why you're dressed as a girl and visiting me?"
"Well, sir, when we almost had the mix-up day, I tried to dress, but it just didn't work. I felt like I was being a mockery of a girl. I didn't want to do that, and I don't have it in me to clown it up. If I add in the fact that a few girls here were born wrong, I feel like if I were to act as a mock girl, it would be as if I didn't respect them."
"That's a nice thought, but, how does that get us to where we are today?"
He's such a nice old gentleman and so easy to talk to. "Well, I figured that if I couldn't be a clown, I had best learn how to make folks believe I was a girl. So I arranged to get lessons with Kelly, and she asked how fast I wanted to learn. I figured faster was better than slower, so I'm doing it full time."
"Not all of the students that decide to dress full time need to see me, at least not right away. Did something happen that caused you to need to see me?"
It was getting easier to talk to him. "Yes, I take judo lessons, and my teacher said that if I was serious about doing this full time, I needed to do it during judo practice as well. He's right. These, uh, things do affect my balance a little, and there's a chance a, er–a breast might pop out in mid exercise. That could cause someone to get hurt." I felt like I was blushing big time, but got it out.
"I see," he said "That would be–I guess the best word is surprising. I know I'd be surprised in such a situation."
I laughed out loud and saw him chuckling along. Danged, he even laughs a little like Santa.
"Well Sophia, that helps me understand where you're coming from. Thank you. We have two areas we need to address. The first and most obvious is your breasts." I jerked at that. "Is there a problem?"
"No, sir. I'm just not used to thinking of them that way."
"You will be, by the time you finish this course, assuming of course that you do stick to it." I winced at the 'stick,' since I guess I knew what was coming next.
"Okay, I guess stick wasn't the best word to use but it is, nonetheless, accurate. Why don't we take care of your preliminary checkup, since you're here today, and I can describe care of the devices, if that helps you talk about them, as we go, and at appropriate points."
He gave me as complete a checkup as I'd ever had, and even took some blood for what he called normal tests. All the while, he interspersed checking various things with discussing the options I had to attach the forms more permanently. That went from something that sounded a LOT like Velcro and ended up with an adhesive that was directly applied. I ended up going with the adhesive route, since it seemed the most secure and least conducive to accidents. In the same way, he also provided me with some adhesive to hold the wig in place.
Once that was decided, he took care of my concerns about caring for the forms. It didn't sound too bad, but time would tell. He said I'd do fine, but I was convinced I'd screw it up the first time anyway.
"You can get dressed again now, and when you're ready, we can go on to one more topic."
I was curious now. What else could there be to worry about? I mean, my hair and breasts were now attached. No, he couldn't mean that. I mean HOW?
I guess my shock showed up in my face, because he continued "Don't worry, Sophia. It's something to discuss, that's all. There's a piece of clothing that will hide things down below–just like some of the girls need to hide their breasts when they emulate boys."
I nodded with relief at that. "I may as well find out, though, since I'll be in skirts for a good while I probably won't need that device any time soon."
He chuckled at that, and went on to explain that most of the boy's rooms had the garment under the breast forms, and that if more was needed in that front, more elaborate devices existed, up to and including the quality of the breast forms.
To say I was amazed was putting it mildly. "Wow, I had no idea such things even existed."
"That's understandable, most probably don't, until they need it. Some of the devices are MUCH more elaborate than they were when I started practicing. I don't want to think about how many years ago that was"
I laughed at this, thinking it must be his usual joke. He DID seem pretty old, but then, so did Kate.
"Well, young lady," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "Is there anything else we need to clear up?"
"No, sir, you've given me a lot to think about. If I run into more questions, I'll be sure to look you up." I said smiling. I could recognize a dismissal, even if he'd not meant that to be one.
Just then, my PDA chimed. Pulling it out I was reminded, "I've got ten minutes to a meeting with Kelly. Oh, and Becky's appointment is right after that." I sighed, "Looks like it'll be homework in the evening again. I hope Renee doesn't mind."
He looked perplexed at my mention of Becky, "I thought you were assigned to Dan from the support staff?" he queried.
"I am, but, this morning, Becky said she wanted to talk to me later this afternoon."
He nodded. "You'd better run along then," he said with a laugh. "You don't want to keep Kelly waiting or she might give you higher heels."
I laughed in response. "Thanks, Dr. Mayhew. I don't think I'm ready for that yet."
The walk to Kelly's was quiet. I had a lot to think about after talking to Dr. Mayhew. What he told me was fascinating enough. There was so much to learn here, and it seems we can learn from everyone on the staff and they're all ready to help us. I shook my head. It's a little strange where he hesitated to answer, and what questions he worked his way around. More to file away and think about, I guess.
I checked my PDA as I arrived at Kelly's door. I had a minute, so I did a quick check of my skirt and blouse then, with a little trepidation, wondered what would happen in this session, I knocked on the door.
Kelly opened it, "Come in, Sophia. Let's see how you're doing today. Walk across to the seating area."
I walked over, wondering what she meant, and then it occurred to me. She wanted to see how I was walking after most of a day in these heels. Sorta like how Simon wanted to see Renee walk, I bet.
"That's very good, Sophia." She indicated that I should sit down.
She's watching me like a hawk. I didn't even have to think about my skirt, as I sat down.
"How are the shoes feeling?"
"They feel fine? They're a whole lot lighter than my old sneakers." I laughed. "It's almost like they're not there a lot, and then I get to the stairs and have to come down or I try to stretch my legs out to go faster and I get a quick reminder."
"Yes, sandals do tend to be lighter, well, women's sandals anyway. I guess that answers my question though. Do you want to try higher heels?"
"Ummm. Not right now, if you don't mind. These are okay, but I do feel a little tightness in my lower legs. I can't imagine going all day in higher heels. One of the few things I remember my big sister complaining about was her feet and how her shoes always hurt. She complained louder with some really high things, well, they looked high to me, anyway."
Kelly laughed. "No, I'm not laughing at your sister, Sophia. That's a common complaint many of us have. More often than not, the pain is caused by shoes that do not quite fit properly. The rest of the problem is the body complaining that it wasn't designed to work like that. Many of us do override our bodies' signals and, I'm sure, if you wanted to, you could be wearing significantly higher heels in a few weeks." I guess she saw me give a start. "Oh, I'm not going to push you there, by any means. A two inch heel is more than enough to achieve your goal, and provide a nice line. In fact, once you're really used to it, you may well choose to go to a shorter, or even no heel for some things. But, that's for the future. For now, since you're doing well with those, I'll arrange for a selection of other shoes with similar height heels to be delivered to your wardrobe so you have a wider choice of outfits."
I nodded at this, despite how comfortable these were, I wouldn't want sandals on a day I needed to go out to the gym in the rain.
"Now, as to outfits, did you pick that one yourself?"
"No, Renee helped me."
"The two of you did a good job. The wig works well for you, too. That your choice too?"
"Well, Andy helped with that selection over the weekend, back when we were preparing for Mix-up Monday."
"I should have known. How did you get introduced to my star pupil?"
Her STAR? Now things begin to make more sense. I STILL can't picture him as a girl, but if Kelly says that, he must know what he's doing. "He's the section lead for percussion, but Mr. Hobson actually suggested he give me a hand."
"I see. Well, you could go a long way and not find a better advisor. So, if you have questions and I'm not around, don't hesitate to ask him, or his study partner, Stacy."
I wondered how SHE could have suggestions for a guy learning, then, "She went through this with him. Of course, that makes sense." Seeing a strange look on Kelly's face, "Oh, I mean she was there while he went through all of this and helped him, the way Renee's trying to help me, so she would have seen many of the blunders he made."
"Yes, I'm sure Stacy will remember that time well."
"
"I see. Well, let's see if you can surprise them a little with how well you can do."
I smiled, liking the idea.
"I take it you've not met Brenda, then?" At my questioning look, "From your look, the answer's obviously no. Look the name up, and you'll understand. Now, why don't we work on care of that wig a bit today? You'll need to work on it a bit more than you might like. Longer hair DOES take more work than short styles." Kelly stood up at this, and indicated I should follow.
"Ummm, excuse me, Kelly."
"Yes, Sophia?" she said turning.
"I should tell you that Dr. Mayhew gave me stuff to fix it to my head more securely."
She looked at me. "That's unusual. Did you ask for it?"
I nodded, "Yes, I was talking with Mr. Smith earlier today, and realized I needed to not just act like a girl. For me to achieve my goal, I really needed to BE one, at least when it was needed, and that meant REALLY twenty-four by seven, including Judo. And, it'd be bad if the wig was to come off. And if one of these was to pop out while exercising, well, someone might get hurt."
"Well, that's a very mature attitude you're taking, Sophia, and it will make things both easier and more difficult."
I must have had a quizzical expression on my face then.
"You don't want to be constantly removing and reattaching the wig using the adhesives, as that will drastically reduce its life. It also adds some unnecessary time each time you do it removing the adhesive from you and the wig." I must have taken a step back or something, "Oh, you will take it off, using the schedule I'm sure Dr. Mayhew provided, but not every day."
"How does it being stuck up there make things more and less difficult?"
"Let's go on into the other room, and I'll get Jo to show you."
I followed her next door, and found what looked like a really fancy beauty parlor, like my mom would occasionally go to. She'd not forced me to go along in years, but I still recognized the chair and mirrors and stuff.
"Hi, Jo. This is Sophia. She's new to long hair, and needs some guidance."
"Yes, I can see that. How'd she let that wig get into that shape?" She tutted. "Well, young lady, let me have it."
"I'm sorry, miss. It's glued on."
"What? Why ever did you do such a thing?"
"So it was harder to get off by accident."
She turned to Kelly. "I thought you said she was a first year?"
"Jo, this is Sophia's first day dressed, and her first with a wig." She turned to me. "That is correct, isn't it?"
"Yes, ma'am, except for a couple of hours on Saturday, where I wore the wig 'cause I'd forgotten I was wearing it."
"Why did you wear it then?"
"Andy came over to help me get ready for Mix-up Monday."
"Andy, that boy should KNOW better. He will hear about this!" Jo jumped in. "He KNOWS how to properly take care of a wig. Now, where did you get the glue for the wig?"
"Jo, Sophia did that correctly," interrupted Kelly. "Bill provided it, and gave her instructions on applying it," turning to me "didn't he?"
I just nodded. "Andy didn't know I was going to be dressing full time until last night, and he didn't know about the glue. That's my fault. I'm sorry if I did something wrong."
"No. I just see so many kids abusing the wigs, or worse, their own hair." She paused. "Let's start again, shall we? Now, why don't you tell me why you're wearing a wig in the first place, and then why it's glued on, and we'll go from there."
I explained things again. At least I'm getting better at telling the story. When I was finished, she began a lesson in caring for the wig throughout the day, and at night, if I were going to wear it sleeping. She also explained how to keep it clean.
"You may want to stop by the salon periodically so I can check on the wig and give you pointers. We'll also need to take care of your hair, which WILL continue to grow under all of that." I laughed a little nervously. "Oh, don't worry. For most people, hair grows at about 150 millimeters a year. You probably used to get it cut about every four to six weeks didn't you?" At my nod, "That was about a ten millimeters or a bit more of growth each time you went."
That sounds about right. It'd be about when my hair was getting to my ears." I said understanding. "I was about due when I came here."
"I'd like to take a look next time you've got your wig unglued. I'd also like to see how you care for it as well. So, why don't you stop by, or make an appointment for some time next week, so we can do both."
"Make an appointment?"
"Sure, on your PC or PDA. The salon's in the address book."
"This isn't the salon?"
They both laughed at that. "No, Sophia. This is more of a classroom. The salon is MUCH nicer."
I looked around. "I don't think I want to know yet." They laughed some more.
Kelly continued. "This room only has the basics for hair and makeup, Sophia. The salon is full service, which you'll probably eventually appreciate."
About that time, the chime went off on my PDA.
"Let me guess, that signals that our time's about up." Looking at it, I nodded. "Well, since that's the case, do you have any other questions for either of us?"
"I don't think so. I'm off to a meeting with Becky now."
"I thought Dan was your advisor from the support staff?" Kelly rejoined.
"He is, Becky just said she wanted to talk to me." I wonder why everyone's surprised that I'm talking to a different support person. I hope I don't get in trouble over this. No, they said we could talk to any of them, if we needed to.
"Well, off you go then, and as I said, you should find a bigger selection of shoes available to you. I'll include a few higher pairs if you decide you want to try one. But, as I said before, do it only if you want to. Shoes like the ones you are wearing will achieve the goals we set."
I thanked her, and headed for Becky's office.
These PDAs are amazing. I don't know how I'd find my way around this place without the mapping function. Hmmm. I wonder how they know what floor we're on, though. Before I had time to think about that any more, I arrived at Becky's office. Taking a breath, I knocked on Becky's door.
"Please come in, Sophia" she said, opening the door.
I walked in, and looked around. Nice furnishings.
"Admiring the furnishings?"
"Yes, ma'am. Sorry."
"Don't worry, Sophia. I take it you've not been to visit Dan yet? His office is much like this one.
"No, ma'am, not yet. Should I have?"
"Have you needed to?"
"I don't think so. Everyone's been so very helpful to me."
She smiled at that. "So I see. Well, I invited you up to chat because Tracy thought I should get to know you better." I'm not surprised that the shrinks talk about us, but what's with Tracy suggesting this? It's getting confusing. She went on to talk with me about my classes and teachers, and my relationships with the other kids in my year. Knowing she was a shrink, I wasn't surprised that it was easy to talk to her.
"I understand you were nervous about Mix-up Monday?"
"Yeah, I guess. I really was," I said with a little laugh.
"It's not that common for a first year to experiment with clothes in the first week, except for Mix-up Monday, and my calendar says that it's Tuesday. Am I correct in thinking that something changed between then and now?"
"Yes and no. Now that I think about it. Having Mix-up Monday thrust on us REALLY made me start thinking."
"Can you elaborate?"
"I did a LOT of thinking over the weekend, and more yesterday, and even today. I've come to the conclusion that I need to learn to be a girl." I glanced at her face, and noticed that Becky had gotten a look in her eyes, strange isn't what I'd call it, but it was different. 'I wonder what that look means?'.
"You never thought this before coming to the Hall?"
"That I needed to learn to be a girl?" I laughed. "No, the thought never occurred to me."
"I see. Is there any particular event that was more powerful in driving you to this conclusion?"
The shrinks ALL have to know about Fran. But, I promised I'd not talk about her. Okay, something else that's true. "Well, it was a combination of a lot of little things, really. Not one single event." I'm sure she's going to ask for more, but at least this way, I've a bit more time to think.
"You were nervous about Mix-up Monday over the weekend, but you seem very comfortable today? As I said before, it seems like something has changed for you."
This went on for a while. Becky trying to get me to describe my feelings about what I was doing, and I was trying to be honest, while not betraying things I'd been told by others like Fran, or what I was starting to guess. I most certainly wasn't ready for THAT conversation. She also went into my relationships with the others in the year; which, I guess I can understand. I was just surprised I wasn't having this conversation with Dan.
"I think Tracy was right, you should see Dr. Bill again, soon. You need to understand the options you have. I'll set it up for you. It's really too bad we had this conversation after you'd already seen him, but no harm done."
"Ummm, okay, if you think it's necessary."
"It's not critical now, of course. But, the sooner you talk to him, the sooner you will understand."
Okay. What is it I'm supposed to understand? "Ummm, thanks."
She stood up. "I'll make the appointment for you. It'll probably be sometime tomorrow, unless he's booked. Sophia, I want to thank you for coming to talk to me."
"
Like, I had a choice? I guess I technically did, but I'm not ready to push THAT envelope, nope. "Yes, ma'am. Is there anything else?"
"Just one little thing, Sophia." At my start she laughed, "No, no more questions, just a request. Please just say yes, or call me Becky. Ma'am makes me feel so old."
I smiled at that as well. "I'll try to remember, m-m-m, Becky. But, my mom'll not be happy if I forget how to be polite to folks in authority." She was smiling again, but I could have sworn she had hardened her expression there a minute.
"Feel free to drop by any time, Sophia."
I nodded acknowledgement, as I left her office.
That was a mixture of odd and what I'd expect. I wonder why she had the chat with me about how I'm doing and not Dan. Maybe I should ask him next time I see him. And, does she figure me for the class leader or something? Now she's got me scheduled to see Dr. Bill again tomorrow, to discuss options should puberty suddenly hit and mess with my plans. I can't see any other reason to have me learn this, except maybe to know, so I can pass it on to the others if it comes up. Really strange. Was she looking for something? Maybe she was testing to see if I either knew about Fran, or how far I'd go to protect a classmate's confidences. But, that doesn't really make any sense, either. Maybe one of the others will have an idea later. After a bit, I had another thought. Maybe Becky's just taking the chance to get to know me. If I get meetings with the others soon, that's probably what it is. Though, it still was kinda strange stuff to talk about to get to know a person, or I think so anyway.
I continued on to my room, with a LOT on my mind. Walking in, I could hear Renee on her practice chanter. I'm really glad it's in pitch! I can't imagine having to suffer through her practicing one that couldn't be tuned somewhere. The slightly sharp scale doesn't bother me now, since I understand it was intentional… And the scale is internally consistent.
When she stopped, "I'm home, Renee."
She called back "Welcome home, Dan. I'll be over in a minute."
I sat there, thinking about what we'd both said. Is this place already home to both of us? I'd not really noticed it when I said it, but her response made me realize what I'd said and made me think.
"Thinking heavy thoughts, Dan?"
"Ummm. I guess so, and thanks for the Dan."
"Ooops. It' supposed to be Sophia, isn't it. Sorry."
"No, when it's just the two of us, I don't mind what you call me. I don't think the powers really care either."
"K, so how was your afternoon?"
"It was all over the place. I saw Sensei again," I saw a brief questioning look then I guess she remembered I'd called him that before. "And he was the one that arranged for the extra block of time."
"You had another lesson this afternoon?"
"Not exactly, or not with him anyway. She sent me to see the doctor. No, I'm healthy. Sensei just pointed out that if I'm doing this," I pointed at myself, "full time, then I needed to do my exercises and sparring this way too. Once he pointed it out, I agreed. And, if I'm ever good enough to teach, I think the experience will help me with my girl students."
Renee nodded at that, but still had a quizzical expression on her face. "What does that have to do with seeing the doctor?"
I laughed. "Sorry, he pointed out that if I sparred, I could loose my wig or one of the things, okay, breasts, might pop out." This produced a giggle. "No, I'm serious. Either I or my sparring partner could get hurt should one of them pop out unexpectedly. The simplest accident would be stepping on it. Oh, I know they're soft and all, but they're big enough that if you were to unexpectedly step on one, you could easily twist an ankle, or worse."
"Okay. I still don't see what the doctor had to do with that. I mean, he didn't glue them on or anything, did he?" She was looking at me, and I must have jumped or something, 'cause she continued, "He did? Wow."
"Um, yeah. There's supposed to be some solvent and more glue in here now, for them, as well as for the hair." I reached up, and gave my hair a pull.
"You're not very sure about it, are you–sister."
"Yeah, I guess I sorta am, aren't I. That goes back to what I was thinking about when you came over." I stood up, figuring if she was standing, I probably should too. "I was surprised a bit when we both called this place home. I really didn't expect that. I mean, where mom and dad are is home. But, here, with you, sorta is too, if that makes any sense."
"I guess it does, at that. I've not felt like this about a place since my parents…"
She started to turn away, so I'd not see her crying I think, but I caught her. She tucked her head into my shoulder and cried. I just held her, like I had before. After a bit, she seemed to stop crying, and I realized she was laughing.
"What's so funny, Renee?"
"You poke me differently than before, "she said between laughs, "and your hair tickled."
I joined in her laughter. "Well, I guess we'll have to get used to them. Unless you want me to stop this."
"No, you said you needed to do it, so I'm with you."
I hugged her tighter in thanks.
"Eeek. You're strong, sis."
Letting go, "Sorry about that, I'll be more careful."
"Oh, don't be silly. I'm just teasing you." Shaking her head, "I can tease my sister, can't I?"
"Of course."
"What was your discussion with Becky all about, if you don't mind my asking?"
"It was a little strange. She did ask me about how I was getting along and how I was interacting with you and the rest of the year. But she seemed to want to spend all the time on why I need to become a girl." I paused a moment to gather my thoughts. "She asked me things like when did I first realize I needed to be a girl, whether I liked wearing the clothes, if I'd ever worn my sister's or mom's and stuff like that. She also kept coming back to how I was so comfortable today, when I'd been so scared over the weekend."
"I'd wondered a bit about the last, myself."
Laughing, "It's kinda simple really, or I think so anyway. I was surprised and startled, and, quite honestly, scared, then. I couldn't see clowning my way through, what with Fran as a friend and all. But, now I've a plan to learn, and see some benefits that will come from it. It's also my idea, this time. That makes it all better. Course, I couldn't say anything about Fran. So, I had to find other reasons."
"You made them up?"
"No. I wouldn't do that. I just implied a few of them were more important than others. The strangest thing is, that she has me seeing Dr. Bill again tomorrow, to talk about puberty and stuff."
"Why would she do that? Surely you had classes in that in your previous schools."
"Yeah, we did. Most of us thought YUCKY. I'm not worried. I figure the biggest change will be growing hair. I might get bigger, too, who knows. I figure it's already started, cause I got a bunch taller last year in school." Seeing a question in her eyes, "I used to be the class runt. In any event, I'm guessing that it was just the luck of the draw, I happen to be the first person in the year to see Dr. Bill, so I'm getting the info in case others need it and don't know where to ask."
"I guess that makes sense, though I presumed they'd have just gone through it with all of us together, rather than pick one of us to pass the info on."
"That was my first reaction as well, but then I remembered how the year leader would sometimes get info to pass on to the rest of the year."
"You want to be the year leader, Dan?"
"No way."
Renee laughed. "Well, you'd best watch out, or you'll find yourself elected."
I shuddered a little at the thought. "I'll have to figure out how to get someone else elected."
"Don't you dare look at me!"
That caused me to laugh. "Okay." I thought a bit. "You know, it was Ingrid that got you all into skirts to support me this morning. I bet she'd do a great job. I was going to suggest that we have a chat with them about this stuff after dinner, anyway."
Renee giggled.
"What's that about?"
"I had a silly and, I'm afraid, not very nice thought. What if we picked Mark or Wayne?"
I thought about the two. "Wayne's smart enough, that's for sure. That'd be one way to force him to communicate more, I guess, but I've gotten the impression that the school would discourage forcing something like that. Mark, now he's a question, isn't he? I mean, he clowns with the best of them, but when I suggested he and Wayne study together, he was all for it. He might well work out, you know."
Renee shook her head. "We'll see, and we'd better get SOME work done before heading to dinner."
I agreed, and we spent the remainder of the time we had before dinner getting our lessons done. Dinner itself was much of a letdown after all that had happened during the day. Not that I was complaining at the time. Becky didn't say anything about our earlier chat, and seemed to act as if nothing had happened, which seemed a bit strange. Anyway, through some sequence of events, Fran, Ingrid, Renee and I all ended up in Ingrid's room.
"Dr. Bill was a nice enough guy. But, I really wish I didn't have to go see him again tomorrow."
"What do you mean, Sophia?"
"Becky seems to think I need to hear about puberty, and what could conceivably be done to postpone it, Fran."
"That's weird, Sophia." I nodded agreement with Ingrid here. "I mean, we all had puberty stuff in classes last year, or the year before."
Ingrid and Renee nodded agreement with Fran.
"I mean, you're not like me, and dreading puberty." She got a strange look on her face. "You do still plan on being a guy when you're done with all this, don't you?"
I laughed. "Of course! Well, I guess mostly anyway. Like I explained to Sensei today, if I'm going to learn to do this right, I need to learn to not just act like a girl, I need to learn to be one. So, at least for a while, I guess there are some who might question my plans. But I don't plan to stay a girl, anyway."
They nodded as if they understood, and I hoped they did. "I'm depending on you all helping me through this and out the other side."
"Of course, Sophia." Ingrid stated. I was mostly looking at Renee though, and she nodded, and reached over to hold my hand.
"So, Sophia, why do you think you got picked to do this?"
Taking a breath, "I was talking this over with Renee earlier, and the only thing we could come up with was that this was how they were getting the info to the year quietly." Turning toward Fran, "I mean, if they'd talked to you about it, I guess it'd make sense for something private. But, this way, I can't imagine they want me to hide it."
She nodded. "I've talked to Kate about what might happen to me, Sophia. She said that when the issue comes up, she'd make sure I talk to the doctor so I can explore my options from the medical end."
Remembering my promise to Dan to not talk about them being shrinks, I just nodded agreement.
Ingrid interposed, "Not changing the subject this time, why do you think you got singled out, Sophia?"
"Besides being the only one that's acting strange? Only one reason came to mind, Ingrid. We don't have a year leader yet, and I guess I was convenient. If you'd decided to spend a few days as a boy, she might have picked on you."
Laughing, "I guess that makes sense. I do wonder why she was talking to you about this, instead of your support person."
"I dunno, either. I figure I'll ask Dan about it the next time I see him. But, the thought that they might be using me for an info funnel, well, I figure we should select our year leader pretty soon."
"Not just the four of us, Sophia. It needs to be the whole year."
I nodded agreement with Ingrid's statement. "Well, yeah, d'ya want the job?"
"I don't want to talk about it now. How about we have a year meeting to discuss it?"
Fran and Renee both nodded agreement, and I said, "Okay by me, why don't you arrange a meeting? Then maybe we can elect someone." I smiled at Ingrid as I said that.
"I can do that much, anyway." Then, her voice dropped off a little as she thought out loud. "We all end up back in the year room after dinner, most days. Maybe that'd be a good time." She nodded to herself.
We all laughed, at her planning. "Way to go, Ingrid," Fran rejoined.
We chatted about other things for a while longer, then, since I'd had such a busy afternoon, Renee and I begged off saying we needed to get some more studying done.
Actually, we needed to, and put in a few hours. "Well, that gets us all caught up. Thanks, Renee."
"We're a team, Dan–Sophia–whatever." She seemed a bit flustered.
"You can call me anything you want you know, Renee. If it's easier, just call me Dan where nobody else can hear."
"You sure? I don't want to make things harder on you."
"Actually, it's nice to hear my own name once in a while. I don't think I'll forget Dan, but this high intensity stuff is kinda scary in a way."
"D'you want to ease off?"
"Oh, no, not that. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right. I just wonder sometimes, if I might do too good a job and lose Dan."
As we had been sitting on the sofa, she reached out, and we hugged. I was able to relax after a bit. I guess my tenseness had been noticeable.
"You're relaxing now."
I nodded agreement. "Thanks. I never used to get twisted up like this, well, not since I was a kid, anyway." Then, realizing what I'd said, I laughed.
Renee released me then, but I held on to one of her hands.
"Why are you laughing?"
"I implied I wasn't a kid, and, I guess really I still am one. I mean, I'm not close to being a grown-up."
Renee joined my laughing at that. "Well, if you're going to be okay, we'd best get our pyjamas on and get ready for sleeping. Our judo lessons are early tomorrow."
"Good thinking. Thanks again." We stood up.
"Ummm, Dan, I can't go yet."
I looked at her kinda blankly.
"My hand."
I looked down, and only then realized we were still holding hands. "Thanks, for being there," I said, as I released her hand.
Getting ready for bed wasn't a big chore. The hair and the things got in the way a little bit, but getting into bed was where I started getting into trouble. My hair kept getting in my way, and once I got that out of my face, I discovered I couldn't quite sleep on my stomach. I squirmed around a bit, and eventually got comfortable.
Comments are greatly appreciated! (Needed too!)
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
I tried reaching for the alarm, but couldn’t get to it as something was in the way. What is this stuff on my face, SPIDER WEBS! “Aiiiieee,” I said rather loudly. Okay, I screamed. But, then, as I began to wake up, I realized it was my new hair.
I was just getting it out of my face, when Renee came rushing into the room. “Dan, are you alright?”
“I think so,” Then I realized my scream had brought her in. “I’m sorry, Renee. I’m afraid I woke up and forgot some things this morning. I found my hair all over my face, and could only think spiders.”
She came over, and sat down beside me on my bed. “You don’t like spiders?”
“Not really. Growing up with big brothers and sisters, I tried to keep up. Once, I went up into the attic, to see what they did up there. I guess, they knew where they normally went, but, since I didn’t want to get caught and was trying to be sneaky, I crawled behind some of the boxes. I ended up covered in webs, and when I tried to get out, I got into more. I stood up, and banged my head. I’d not totally lost it yet, but then I felt some things crawling on my hands as I was sitting there. I sat there and just screamed. I was in a pretty bad shape when my mom came up and rescued me. I’ve never been good with spiders since then.”
Renee hugged me, which helped me feel better.
“Dan, you need to put your hair into a ponytail at least, if you don’t want it going all over like that. It’s going to be difficult getting all the tangles out now.”
I nodded, only then realizing how little we were wearing. “Renee.”
There must have been something in my voice that got her attention. “What’s wrong, Dan?”
“We’re not wearing much,” I whispered.
She suddenly jumped back, and looked at me. Then, she stopped, and laughed.
“You okay?” I asked in surprise.
She nodded, laughing too hard to answer.
I looked at myself, and not seeing the issue, “Okay, besides my squirrel’s nest,” I indicated my head, “what’s so funny?”
That seemed to just get her going more. “Not that,” she choked out, and pointed at my nightgown.
I looked down. No, the nightgown wasn’t inside out. “What?”
She finally got out. “You wore the same nightgown.” Then, collapsed on the bed laughing.
“It was the one on top,” I responded, not really getting what was so funny.
Eventually she settled down, and explained that wearing the same outfit and such, is a big boo boo for girls, something that some go to great ends to avoid. “I guess, seeing you there in this nightgown, after I was so worried earlier, really struck me as funny.”
“I can see that. Thanks for coming to check on me.”
She moved over, and gave me a hug. “You’d have done the same. Besides, you waking up funny, is becoming a habit.”
I laughed at that, recalling the bump in the wall the first morning. “We’d best get a move on, or we’ll not make it to breakfast. You ordered a light one, didn’t you?”
“Yes, like you suggested.”
We hopped to, and she helped me with my rat’s nest of a hairdo and we got to the dining room just in time to sit down with the year.
“Glad you could join us, Sophia and Renee.”
“Sorry, Keith, I needed a bit of help,” I responded, as we sat down.
“That’s okay, Sophia.” He lowered his voice, “Is there a problem?”
I laughed, “No, I just didn’t take care of my hair properly last night. I’m not used to hair this long.” I tossed it over my shoulder.
He smiled in return. As our breakfasts arrived, I noticed that Pru had, what I was beginning to think was her normal large breakfast.
“Pru, are you doing Judo with us first thing this morning?”
She looked up, “Yes.”
“I’d suggest you cut back on that meal a bit, until you see how much exercise it is. You don’t want to have an accident.”
She looked sorta cross-eyed, “Umm, no. Thanks.”
“My mistake. I told Renee last night, I just forgot to tell you. I’m sorry.” Then, I thought. “Keith, Pru’s going to be exercising with Renee and me shortly after breakfast. Can she just eat part of that, and you reset things so she can get a bit more at lunch?”
“You know about that function, do you? Under the circumstances, I believe I can.” He turned to Pru. “I’ll reset your meal selection for the day, if you mark what you actually eat, you can use the rest of the calories in lunch and dinner.” He turned to the rest of the table. There will come a time, when you need to have a much better reason than “I forgot” to get a reset. You’re not there yet, of course and Pru’s reason is valid. However, in the future, if you have an athletic event scheduled following a meal, you should take that into account when you set up your meals.” At everyone’s nod, “Okay then, let's all tuck in.”
As Pru and Sally had the duty, Renee and I waited for her, so we could head off to Judo together.
“Thanks for waiting, guys.” she said to us. “I’ll see you at history, Sally.”
“Have fun, and don’t let them hurt you, Pru.” Sally said over her shoulder as she headed off.
“You two shouldn’t get hurt, much anyway, at least today. You’ll mostly be learning how to fall down so you don’t actually get hurt. I’m sure that Mr. Smith, or whoever they’ve found to teach you, will be very careful. Falling is one of the most important early lessons.”
They nodded in agreement, and we all realized we weren’t getting anywhere. At once, we all headed for the door. I did feel a little strange, being the only one in a skirt today. But, I wasn’t going to ask them to continue to do so, just 'cause I was. I mean, yesterday was nice and all, but I was the one doing this to learn something.
“Now, remember, when addressing the Judo teacher, you refer to him as Sensei, unless he tells you something else. That’s what Mr. Smith asked me to call him, so it probably goes for you two as well.”
“Okay, Da — Sophia. Do you think he’ll teach us too?”
“I don’t think so, Pru. He said he had another teacher in mind for Renee, and I figure that applies to you as well.”
“Okay. Won’t it be confusing with all the guys named Sensei running around?”
I laughed, then, “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I just didn’t explain clearly enough. The Sensei is the head teacher, if there’s more than one.”
“Oh, that makes more sense. Sorta like we only have one headmaster.”
“Exactly. Now, if today’s anything like last time, we’ll change into our judogis. But, we should follow Sensei’s directions.”
“Judogi?”
I could hear the question in Pru’s voice. “That’s the white uniform with a belt you’ve probably seen in movies or on the tube. No, you call it the telly–the tube is what you call the Subway in London, isn’t it?”
“Ohhh, those things. I thought they were just Gis.”
“There are differences among the various arts, but, I can answer more later. We need to go in so we’re not late.” With that, I opened the door, and we went in. Mr. Smith was waiting for us, as was an older student. I wonder if she’s going to be the one I have to spar with, or if she’ll be teaching Renee and Pru. At least she’s got a Brown Belt. She can teach under supervision. I can’t believe Mr. Smith would let her wear it if she’d not earned it.
“Well, come in. This is Shelly Wright. Her primary art is Jujitsu.” That explained the slight differences in the gi.
“Shelly, these ladies are Renee, Prudence and Sophia.” He indicated each of us in turn. “You’ll be sparing with Sophia some this morning, so you can experience a different tradition. Sophia, you and Shelly have similar skill levels, but in different traditions. I’ll work with both of you, and you’ll have a chance to work together. Now, I want all three of you to go and change into your kit.” He indicated three piles. I was pleased that he’d put a brown belt with the judogi. That meant he confirmed my attainment.
I bowed, “Yes, Sensei.”
Renee and Pru were quick to follow my cue, and also bowed to him. We quickly took our uniforms, and went to change. Pru hesitated to follow us.
I whispered, “There are separate changing booths inside, Pru.”
“Thanks,” she returned.
Once we were all done up, I helped both of them make sure all was adjusted properly, so their uniforms fit properly before we went back out.
When we came out, I could see Mr. Smith working out with Shelly. “We stop at the edge of the mats, and wait, if he runs it like my last Sensei ran his dojo.”
They followed me out, and we watched the sparring. This is NOT going to be easy. Some of the moves are very similar, but some are just enough off that I may have some issues. Well, I guess it’s probably a good idea. I wonder who’ll teach Renee & Pru? Could still be Shelly, but I’d hoped they would be learning my discipline.
Mr. Smith stopped things with Shelly at that point, and indicated we should come onto the mats and approach. When we got there, and bowed, he started. “We will start with Shelly and Sophia teaching the two of you how to fall.” At my startled look, “Yes, of course, Sophia, you have demonstrated that you have the skill to wear that belt, and Mr. Tanaka said you’d done some basic instruction before.”
“Yes, Sensei.” Okay, deep breath, this is just falls, which I’ve instructed before. Maybe once they get advanced, he’ll have a better teacher for them. Yeah, that’s it.
The next twenty minutes were spent working on teaching them how to fall. I was working with Pru, and Shelly was taking care of Renee. Splitting us up this way made sense to me. While I don’t think I’d have gone easy on Renee, it’s better to not take a chance.
Then they got a break while Mr. Smith had Shelly spar with me, while they watched. It was as difficult as I’d thought it’d be, but I also did better than I’d expected. There were a few times where I was glad the breasts and wig were glued on.
Mr. Smith then had us stop, and come together on the mats. I was pretty tired, and Shelly looked that way as well. He indicated we should kneel. I moved slowly, so Pru and Renee could watch me.
“Very well done, all of you.”
Shelly and I bowed as we kneeled.
“Prudence, what was the most difficult thing for you to do today?”
She looked startled to be singled out, but I guess she’ll get used to it. Every teacher I’ve had would call out students. “Learning how to fall,” she said, with some trepidation.
“Really, you’ve never fallen before?”
I kept my sigh to myself. He’s already pushing for accuracy in responses. I hope she does better.
“Sorry, Mr. Smith,” I couldn’t help myself cringe at that. “I mean, Sensei. Yes, I have fallen down before.”
“Then why was falling down today difficult?”
“I misspoke, Sensei. I should have said, ‘learning to fall down without hurting myself’, was hard.”
“That is a skill, but didn’t it require you to do something else before you could learn?”
She stopped to think. I knew where Sensei was going. I’d flubbed the same question during my first lesson. I hope she can think of the answer. I glanced over at Renee, and could see a questioning look on her face. I suspected that Shelly also knew where he was going, but wasn’t going to turn my head enough to look for confirmation.
“I don’t know, Sensei.”
“That is acceptable. Recognizing when you do not have the answer and admitting it is better than attempting to make one up.” He turned to Renee, and I hoped she would be able to guess.
“Renee, I have the same question for you. I presume you’ve been thinking about it.”
She quietly answered, “Yes, Sensei. Before your remark to Pru, I would have said the same thing. But, now, I’m not really sure. I think, it was trusting that Shelly knew what she was telling me to do.”
“Why was that any different than any other teacher here at the school? Surely you don’t need the headmaster to tell you that they are good teachers.”
I could see her freeze up, and look over at me.
“Would you like your study partner to help you with the answer? Here, that is appropriate. Sophia, what do you believe to have been the most difficult thing they had to learn?”
“To trust, not just what we were saying, but that we would not have them do something that would get them hurt. When I was showing Pru how to fall, she kept banging her knee or elbow into the mat, even when I was trying to help her. Once she trusted that I wouldn’t let her drop, and relaxed, she allowed me to ease her into the fall. This is different from our other teachers, as, so far anyway, what they’re teaching us doesn’t tend to have such painful feedback, so perhaps it’s easier.”
He was nodding. “Shelly, do you have anything to add?”
“Not really, Sensei. Trust was the key. They both have to trust that those directed to teach them will do so, and do it well. The sooner they can, the easier things become.”
Did she sound like she was speaking from experience? Hmmm. She’s certainly smooth now; I wonder if she had as much trouble learning to trust, as I did originally.
“Prudence, Renee, do you agree with their suggestion?”
They both nodded agreement; I figured I’d talk to them later, to make sure they really understood where he was trying to get them to go.
“Very well. Good session, all of you. You’ll find future sessions in your PDAs. Shelly, you and Sophia may work out together if you wish, but make sure someone else is around in case of an accident. Renee and Prudence, do not try to practice what you’ve learned on your own. If you’d like to do more practicing, you may ask either of these girls for assistance.”
Wow, that feels strange, to be referred to as a girl. I guess that’s what everyone’s sorta been doing since yesterday. Still ...
He then stood up, and made a hand signal, that I interpreted to mean to get up as well. As he didn’t correct me, I continued. I could see both Renee and Pru getting up as well. He then bowed to us all. “It has been a pleasure, ladies. Good day.”
We bowed in return, and then when he turned away, stood quietly a minute, then the four of us headed for the showers.
“I’m glad you’re here, Sophia. It’s nice to finally have someone other than Mr. Smith to work out with.”
“Thanks, Shelly. You’re good!”
She chuckled. “You work out with Mr. Smith or one of his friends every week, and you’ll get better too. But, you’re already at least as good as I am. What was that you did to get Pru to trust you so fast? I was busy and didn’t see it.”
I’m sure I turned a bit red with her compliment, but then I laughed. “That’s something I learned away from Judo, when we lived in Italy. A whole group of us kids were new to the area, and nobody would talk or anything. So, our instructor decided to show us that we could trust each other.”
“Yeah, but what was it?”
“Sorry, He called in the smallest teacher in the school and told us all he’d show us how easy it is to trust. He was big … I mean, he was really BIG. But he turned around with his back to her, and when she said she was ready, he just let himself fall backwards and she was able to keep him from getting hurt. It was amazing, really. I mean, she wasn’t any bigger than I am, and he was bigger than Mr. Smith!”
“Okay, so he trusted her, how did that help all of you?” interjected Renee.
“Do you want to tell them Pru? After all, you did the same thing.”
“That’s what that exercise was for? You didn’t explain it as clearly when we were on the mat.”
“Sorry Pru, but yes, it was to help you trust me.”
“He just had me play the man’s part, and fall, making sure I didn’t get hurt doing it.” She laughed a little sheepishly. “It took me three tries before I believed him and actually trusted him to keep me from falling, then was easy.” Turning to me, “I still think learning to fall was really hard, and I’m not sure I’ll remember it next time we try.”
I laughed. But before I could continue, Shelly interrupted. “Pru, you must try to remember that Sophia is a girl. No, don’t worry, it’s just something we all have to learn during our first year here.”
I nodded. “Why is that so critical? I mean, when we have visitors, they cancel things like Mix-up day.”
“Some of us are transitioning. A few didn’t start until they got here. Imagine you’re out on a field trip somewhere, and you refer to another student in a dress using male pronouns, or even a male name.”
All three of us were quiet then. “They might get hurt, or at least embarrassed,” said Pru quietly.
“Exactly. So don’t take it badly when you get corrected now and then.”
“Thanks, Shelly.”
“Back to the question you were asking, though. Learning to trust the person teaching you is the hardest. Without learning that, you’ll eventually hurt yourself, or someone else. You trusted me today, but do you think you’ll be able to trust me as well next time? Or, trust Shelly the same way? Or, do you think you’ll have to work yourself up to it? I mean, if I were to ask you to let me catch you right now, would you?”
“Of course not, there’s no mat.”
“See what I mean? There’s no difference. The mat wasn’t what kept you from getting hurt.” I looked around to make sure it was safe. “Shelly, you’ve heard how I described what happened. Do you think you could catch me?”
She hesitated a moment, “Probably. But, since I didn’t see how you were doing it, I’m not sure. How about we trade, and you show her that you can catch me.”
I nodded and she turned her back to me. “Ready?”
“Anytime.”
And with that, she just fell backwards. I was expecting something of the sort, since I knew she could have kept herself from getting hurt even if I missed, but I caught and eased her to the floor in one motion.
“She just trusted you that easily?” There was wonder in Pru’s voice. “You just met Sophia, how could you trust her so easily?”
“A lot of reasons actually. The first, is that she’s a fellow student, and we should always trust each other. You’ll come to understand this better, after you’ve been here a while.”
I nodded in agreement, thinking about how much I trusted Renee, and the school in general with what I was attempting to do, and their support of Fran.
“Other reasons include that brown belt she’s wearing. If you decide to continue in the art, you’ll come to appreciate what the colors really mean. Since Mr. Smith didn’t question her right to the belt, I assumed she’d earned it. You’ll come to understand that if someone with a high degree belt says they can do something, they really can; even when it doesn’t seem to make sense. Is that what you were trying to show them when you asked me to trust you?”
I nodded. “That, and the trust itself.”
“Well, we’d best get a move on, or we’ll have to go to our classes in our gis.”
That probably got the laugh she’d intended, but we all got a move on. Shelly pulled me aside. “Good luck, Sophia. Kelly’s the greatest!” Then she gave me a quick hug and disappeared into her shower.
I thought about that and other stuff while cleaning up. I wonder, did Mr. Smith ask Pru first, to give Renee a chance to work things out, or was he seeing if I’d explained things to Pru while I was working with her? Well, if he was testing me, I probably didn’t do as well as I should have. Nothing to do but work harder in the future.
As it turned out, we had plenty of time. On the way, I asked them what they thought about the session, and both expressed interest in continuing, which was a relief. I remember half of the kids that had started with me dropped out after that first lesson.
The remainder of the morning was uneventful, and I was looking forward to lunch. It certainly didn’t disappoint. I could see the others chowing down as well. Sally was talking to Pru about something, and I think Fran was listening in on it. I guess she decided to do more than listen.
“Sophia, do you think others could still get into the lessons?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“What kind of lessons?” chimed in Mark.
“Judo. We started learning to fall today,” replied Pru.
“Well, I’m surprised you needed to learn. I mean, I can fall just fine. It hurts though, so I avoid it all I can.
Most of us laughed at this, and before anyone could correct him, he continued, “It’s like flying. Flying is easy. You just throw yourself at the ground, and miss.” He didn’t pull off the innocent act he was trying, but it was funny, and we all laughed anyway.
“No,” I said through my laughs, “They were actually learning how to fall without hurting themselves.”
“Ahhh,” he responded, trying to sound superior. “That is a skill not to be laughed at, though not falling at all might be a better one, don’t you think my dear?”
“Oh, thank you for bringing that to our attention, oh wise sage. I’ll be sure to suggest that to their teacher next time we meet.” My rejoinder was messed up a little as both Renee and Pru laughed even louder. The rest of the year looked at them like they were loonies.
“Okay, so he,–I mean she–got me back, but it wasn’t THAT funny, or am I missing something?”
“Sorry,” Pru choked out, and then taking a big breath to settle down, “Sophia sees our teacher every day,” she paused a little while to be sure she had everyone’s attention, then continued “when she looks in the mirror.” And she let out another laugh.
“You’ve got to be kidding. There’s no way another first year should be teaching.”
Before things could get out of hand, I interrupted. “Pru wasn’t completely accurate when she said I was teaching. I was instructing, under Mr. Smith’s guidance. You shouldn’t be teaching on your own until you’ve earned your black belt.”
“But, you’ve done some Judo before, so he drafted you, sorta as a class aid?”
“Something like that.” I kept things simple, not wanting to confuse the issue or to sound like I was bragging.
“Okay, that sounds better.” He paused, and sounding surprisingly serious, “Maybe I should look into this Judo thing.” Then he mucked it up. “I mean, that’s where half of the girls in the year spend time,” and then looking at Fran, “and if I’m not mistaken, it may soon be more than half.”
“Ohhh.”
At this point Kate interposed. “If you do take the lessons, I’m sure you will learn something. Probably something about yourself you didn’t know, and also more about some of your mates in the year.”
I wondered why Ingrid was being so quiet. So far she’d not contributed to the discussion and generally, she seemed to be in the thick of things. Maybe I should chat with her later.
Lunch reverted to something more normal at that point, which was a relief.
My appointment with Dr. Bill was shortly after lunch, which gave me time to get a little studying done with Renee before rehearsal. I was still a little concerned about why I needed to see him, and hoped … I stopped that thought, there was no way that would be happening. I shook my head, then taking a breath, went in and talked to the receptionist. I was a little surprised to see her, as she’d not been there yesterday. She explained that she’d had the day off to visit her sister.
About then, Dr. Bill came out. “Come in, Sophia. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon–and certainly not on the topic Becky indicated.”
We went on into his office, and I responded to his implied question. “I guess she was worried about my voice breaking, making it harder to learn to be a girl like we discussed yesterday.”
“Ah, yes, I see.” He waited a bit, as if he was hoping I’d add more. “This discussion is normally instigated by the student’s support staff, but since two others recommend it, that should be good enough. You see, Sophia, pharmaceutical intervention is possible, but it IS a big step.”
I shuddered. Pharmaceutical–that means drugs. They want me to take drugs?
“Doing anything in this area is totally your decision, and it will not happen without a lot of discussion, and certainly not this week. Under normal circumstances, you’d have quite a few discussions with Dan after this meeting. These would be to insure that you fully understand all of issues, so we are all satisfied as to what the right answer for you.
“Thanks, Dr. Bill. I don’t know that I need anything now, I mean, I’ve not started puberty yet.” Why does he think I’d want to anyway? I still can’t say that respect for Fran and others like her is part of why I’m doing this. Do they think I am a girl, too? “I don’t need them to be a girl, do I?”
“Well, eventually, it’s quite likely. Once you do start puberty, your body will start to develop in ways that would make it more difficult for you to be the girl you want or need to be.”
I must have looked a little concerned to him, or something anyway. “Looks like you do need those chats with Dan. None of these steps should be taken lightly, and while in the short term they are not dangerous or permanent, they can become so.”
“What steps?” I figured I may as well find out what he was talking about. Maybe Fran would want to hear, without actually asking of the shrinks.
He described some of the procedures that might be available, stressing the age limits that were imposed. At this, I added a few things together, what he’d said, and what I’d learned in health at my old school.
“Wouldn’t waiting that long be unhelpful? I mean, the kids would have already matured physically the other way.”
“Yes, that’s very astute of you, young lady. The later in life intervention occurs, the harder, and the more that’s needed to help the individual achieve their goals.”
I wondered why they were telling me at this age, if they couldn’t do anything until I was sixteen. I knew I’d wondered earlier in the discussion whether they thought it applied to me. Then, it occurred to me that they must have a way around the rule. “So, you’re able to provide medications that help the students get where they need to be before they go through all the changes of puberty?”
He nodded confirmation.
“What about kids whose parents didn’t approve?”
“This school is all about what is best for the students. We’re serious about that, Sophia.”
He didn’t directly answer me. That’s the first time he’s avoided one of my questions. “So, if a kid, student, who was trans, um, transgendered started to enter puberty, you’d give them something that postponed things?”
I could see him thinking hard at that. “Since you are in our care for the next five years, all of your parents or guardians signed releases allowing us to dispense any medications needed to meet any of your health needs.”
I looked at him. He’s still trying to hedge his answer.
“I thought so, but wasn’t sure. I’m glad you can help.” I sat quietly for a minute thinking. “That’s another thing you don’t want the parents to hear about, isn’t it?”
“Quentin was serious when he said you picked up on things. Rather than have you figure out half of it and get some wrong, I’ll answer your implied question. Yes, we do provide medications, when needed.” He paused again, “And should word get to the wrong people, the school would have difficulties helping those and future children.”
I nodded. “Thanks for confirming that, Dr. Bill. I’ll not say anything.” I thought about Fran, and what she’d said about her father. No, he wouldn’t take kindly to what he perceived as interference. I imagine some of the other less supportive parents would raise a BIG stink. I don’t see how those kids can ever go home, not that they had much home to go to. I wonder how Fran will deal with her dad when she’s done. If he loves her as much as she does him, I guess they’ll figure something out.
“I guess we’ll all learn there are things we don’t talk about when we go home after graduation.” No, I don’t think my folks would go after the school if I came home like this and was happy. But, I’m sure a LOT of questions would be asked.
“Having something happen at boarding school that student’s don’t talk about, except among themselves, is nothing unusual.”
“I believe that. I overheard some of the embassy guards saying things like that about missions, and even when serving away from families.” I nodded. “Though, I doubt most boarding schools go quite as far as this one!”
“Perhaps. Is there anything else we need to clear up?”
“These drugs, the ones you give. Can you turn them off if a person changes their mind?”
“It depends. Some of them taken for a short time by a healthy person could have no long term affect. Others might just postpone puberty. But, most, very shortly, have effects that may well not be reversible at all or, if not monitored, have serious health consequences. For these reasons, this is never taken lightly.” He paused a bit, and looked at me intently. “There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?”
I nodded, not wanting to lie, but also not sure what would happen.
“Sophia, it’s REALLY important that you be completely honest to me and the staff. Failing to do so, could have disastrous long term effects on your health.”
I was worried now. Was I going to get into trouble?
“Here’s an example that came close to happening a few years ago. One of our students had an allergy and was getting sick, but not telling anyone. The student’s study partner was aware that the student was getting sick. However, the student told her partner that help wasn’t needed and that it was just a cold. This finally came to a head when the student got sick in the dining room. I don’t know what would have happened had the allergy continued to go on undetected and untreated. It could have killed her.”
I’m sure my eyes were getting wider as his story went on.
“So, if you’re not telling me the whole story to protect someone, you may well be doing them a bad turn. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.” I replied quietly.
“I want you to think about this, Sophia. Talk to Dan, or if you can’t talk to him, to one of the other support staff, or even me. But talk to someone. Don’t keep things bottled-up inside. The stress of keeping things suppressed can affect your health, too.”
I nodded. I’ll have to talk to Fran I guess, to get permission to discuss things more openly with Dan and the other shrinks.
“All right, young lady. I’m glad you asked that last question which brought this out, but do make a point of talking to Dan. He WILL be expecting you to call him.”
Yeah, I’m sure you’ll send him a note to expect it. I sighed, “I will, sir.”
“Sophia, I’m not too angry with you. You just need to learn to trust us, so we can help. I’d best ask if you have any MORE questions, since that last one was a doozy.”
“No, sir, you’ve given me a lot to think about. If I have more, I’ll be sure to look you up.” I smiled, recognizing a dismissal, even if he’d not meant that to be one. This topic, at any rate, was finished, …well, finished until I had to talk with Dan.
I waved to the receptionist as I was leaving the office, and stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind me. As I turned to head down, I saw Dan coming down the hall toward me.
I wonder why he’s here, unless his office is near here too. Yeah, that’s probably it.
I waved, “Hi Dan.”
“Oh, hello, Sophia. I thought your appointment with Dr. Bill was yesterday?”
“It was; I had another today though.”
He looked surprised at that, “Do you have a few minutes? We’ve not had much time to chat since you got here, unless you count those text conversations,” he said, smiling.
Comments are greatly appreciated!
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
"Sure, but rehearsal is in half an hour, and I don't want to be late."
"Come on in then." He opened the door he happened to be standing next to and beckoned for me to precede him. "Ladies first," he quipped.
"Awww, Dan. Come on."
"Just helping you to stay in character."
"Character? Oh, you mean my being a girl right now."
"Being? Did something change while I was away?"
"You were gone?"
"I had to take care of a family matter yesterday, and the others were keeping an eye on things here for me. I was just returning to my office to catch up on things."
"I hope things are okay." I guess even shrinks have family lives. I wonder if he's got kids, too. He's got a ring.
"Of course, and even if they weren't, they'd be nothing for you to worry about. So, why did you need to see Bill again today?"
"Well, apparently Becky thought I needed to."
"Becky?"
"Uh-huh. She scheduled me for the meeting with him today. Yesterday's was scheduled by Mr. Smith, so I could practice without losing these things." I pointed at my chest, "or my wig."
"Let's go back a bit. I knew you were going to get the glue. Mr. Smith told me he intended to talk with you about that. But, why did you need to talk to Becky?"
"I don't know. She just asked for it at breakfast and I figured I should take it as an order. I mean, if someone on the staff suggests something, isn't that just a nice way to tell us?"
"Okay, I can see where you're coming from." Then, with a frown on his face, Dan asked, "What did you and Bill talk about, just now?"
I hoped I wasn't in trouble for talking to another shrink. "It's okay if I talk to one of the other shrinks, isn't it?"
"If you need to, of course. You can talk to anyone you want. But, since I'm assigned to you, I'd like to hear your story. Later, I can look up what they had to say."
"Okay." Wait, "look up what they had to say?" I bet they have records on us, and Becky had to write something up about yesterday. "Ummm, he told me about various ways that you can slow down puberty, or even give someone a different one, even before they're sixteen." I looked up, as I heard him catch his breath. "I dunno why he told me, and he even seemed a little surprised himself. He said something about two recommendations or something."
Dan had an unusual expression on his face, which was a bit surprising, "So, you didn't ask for this?"
"Good grief, NO. I don't want to want to REALLY be a girl. I just need to learn to be one, so when I dress this way, I do it right and don't make fun of the girls that NEED to be girls, but were born wrong."
When his expression hardened, I became worried that maybe I'd said something wrong. I guess I squirmed a little.
"Oh, sorry, Sophia. I didn't mean to worry you; it was just that I was surprised." He paused a minute and took a breath. "Why don't you tell me about your chat with Becky?"
"Don't you have notes from her? From your comment earlier, I thought you all had to make lots of notes."
He gave a little chuckle. "Yes, I'm sure there are, and I will look them over later. I'd just like to hear your thoughts now."
We went on to discuss what I'd said and what we'd talked about. We got to the point where he asked me a question I'd been dreading, ever since I'd talked with Dr. Bill.
"You didn't tell her the full reason you feel so strongly about not clowning, did you?"
"No, sir," I quietly replied, looking at the floor.
"I take it Bill already talked to you about how important it is to not hide things from the support staff?"
Even quieter, "Yes, sir." I was sure I was in trouble now. Would they throw me out of the school?
"Sophia, you are NOT in trouble. You're still learning." I looked up at that. "We're here to help you, and if we get some information that's wrong or, as it appears to be in this case, incomplete, we can come to the wrong conclusion. This time, no harm's been done. Well, apart from some embarrassment for you, I suspect."
He paused, and looked at me. I'm sure I must have turned bright red, 'cause my face felt really hot.
"It's okay, you can learn from embarrassment, too." He paused then, and I tried to relax a little. I could feel my heart beating pretty fast. "In this case, I believe that Becky honestly believed you wanted to BECOME a girl for the rest of your life."
"What? How could she get that idea? You knew I was just learning to act the part, didn't you?"
"I certainly thought so, and do now."
"Then, how could she so quickly get a different impression?"
"I suspect, the way you answered her questions may have had something to do with it. I'll clear things up with her later. Right now, I'm trying to understand what you might be hiding that would have cleared things up."
"I can't tell you."
"Can't or won't? No, don't tell me now. I suspect I know the reason, but you need to come to trust us yourself. We really ARE here to help you." He paused then. "Does Renee know?"
I nodded. "That's good. You should NEVER hide anything from your study partner, even if you decide to hide something from somebody else. Always remember that."
"Ummm."
"Just remember not to keep secrets from Renee." He paused, "And, yes, I know she's not shared all of hers, but give her time."
I looked at him quizzically; I knew she'd not talked much about her past, but was there something there that explained why she was afraid of people. I nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Sophia, you're not in any trouble, really. In the future, if you don't understand something or why you're being asked to do something, PLEASE ask."
"Okay." I paused momentarily, then asked a question that had been worrying me. "You don't force a kid to take medicines, do you?"
"Where did that come from?" he paused. "No, you're concerned about the medicines to delay puberty, aren't you?"
I nodded. "I'm sure Bill told you that such medicines are only given after extensive discussions, and once we AND the pupil are convinced they must be."
"He said that, but after I got told about it, without even asking..." I let my voice trail off."
"I'm sorry that happened, but since it did, it doesn't hurt you, does it?"
"No, I guess not. It just feels like something I won't be talking about with others, if you know what I mean."
"You mean hide it?" He had a frown on his face.
"Sorta."
"No, you don't need to hide the information. If you run into someone that you think needs it, by all means, share. But, rather than tell them all of it, you're probably better off suggesting they talk to their staff support person."
"It's more ... What happens to a kid who has used the medicine, and then goes home after graduating. I think, if it were me, my parents would be asking a LOT of questions."
"You have a point there, and you can be sure the school does take care of anyone that might need our help." At the questioning look on my face, "No, don't worry about it now. It'll be years before it could be an issue for you, even if you were in that situation."
I guessed it was like my dad said about that Need to Know stuff. "Thanks, Dan."
"You're welcome. I'd better send Mrs. Russell a note, explaining why you cut rehearsal today."
"She'll kill me."
"No, Sophia. Your welfare comes first. If the staff says you need to miss something, that's all there is to it. And, for your benefit, if you see another pupil that needs help, don't hesitate to help first, and get approval later. There's NOTHING more important to us than the health of the pupils."
Wow. Heavy stuff... I dunno how that hooks in with the stuff I've thought about before, but, wow!
"Why don't you go back to your room and rest a bit? That'll allow you to think things over and get your thoughts sorted. I'm sorry you went through this, but hopefully you can learn something as well." At my nod, "You can meet the rest of your year when rehearsal is finished."
"Thanks. I think I do need to do some thinking."
Back in my room, I had almost an hour to think things over before Renee got back.
"You okay, Dan?"
"Hi, Renee, Yeah. I ran into Dan on the way out of my appointment with Dr. Bill today, and we talked for most of the time."
I could see she was about to ask me more, but I figured it would take a while, so I suggested we wait until after dinner, so we didn't miss the meal.
Arriving at dinner, I was faced by a lot of questions about where I'd been during rehearsal. Luckily, Keith intervened, "Sophia was talking with Dan about some things. I should remind you all of something you were all told on your first day here. Your well-being comes first in this school. If you or another student needs help, that help IS made available. If anyone on the support staff deems it's important, you will miss activities or lessons, and if it's lessons, help is available to make sure you don't miss out."
I heard Mark groan at this. "Yes, Mark, you will have to make up the homework. It's NOT a free ticket to skip work."
"A guy can hope, can't he?"
"This is serious, Mark."
"Sorry."
"Another point is that if any of you need help, you have only to ask. If you see someone that needs help, and YOU can provide it, you should. If not, call for help. Don't leave another student needing help."
Ingrid asked, "What happens there, if we are late to a lesson, or miss it?"
"Good question. It shows you're thinking about this. Contact anyone on the support staff, or if someone else on staff is available, get their attention and they'll take care of things."
He then looked around to see that we'd all gotten the message. "Enough of that heavy stuff, I don't know about all of you, but I'm hungry, and all the other tables have their food."
Pru and Sally jumped up. "Sorry," they said in unison.
"No, it's not a problem. I delayed you, because you all needed to hear this and remember it. But, run along now."
Hmmm. Sounds like what the shrinks say goes. I wonder how they handle disagreements? I gave a sigh, and Keith turned to me. "Is there something worrying you?"
"Politics, I think."
He must have had some idea about what I was talking about, 'cause he just said. "Every organization has some. We generally don't have too much, and mistakes are rectified. I think Becky wants to talk with you briefly after we eat. No, there's nothing to worry about, she just had a talk with Dan."
I was still a bit nervous, but I guess I hid it well enough. The remainder of dinner was uneventful, and was over before I realized it. I must have been more nervous than I'd thought, 'cause I just didn't recall what I ate.
"Remember, meeting in the year room, once Pru and Sally are done." Ingrid said, as she and Fran headed out. Wayne followed them, and Mark stayed behind.
"Something up, Mark?" Keith asked.
He looked over at Renee and me and shrugged his shoulders, "Sorry about the homework comment earlier. I'm afraid it's a habit I have."
"It's okay. Many times, a little levity can be helpful. You'll just have to learn when. It'll come with time."
"Thanks, Keith." With that, he made his retreat.
Wow, if Mark can recognize his mistake, that's big. While I was lost, thinking about Mark's turn around, Becky approached me.
"Sophia, I just wanted you to know that I had a talk with Dan this afternoon, and he cleared up some things for me. I wish you'd told me your other reasons for working so hard at this." She indicated how I was dressed. "I know you feel you couldn't, but it might have been better for you to have done so."
"I'm sorry, Becky. I never lied to you."
"I know, but without all the information, and I'm afraid to admit, going in with a preconception, I jumped to a conclusion that may not have been warranted."
"I'm sorry."
"I know; so am I. I just want you to think about what happened."
"Becky, they do need to get on, and I already gave them the trust lecture."
She laughed. "Thanks, Keith." Then turning back to us, "Now, you see why I keep him around."
Renee and I joined their short laugh. I could see how her little joke had reduced some building tension. Maybe that's what Keith was trying to say to Mark.
"Go on now, you two," she directed.
As we headed for the year room, Renee asked about that conversation.
"It's related to the stuff this afternoon and my talk with Dr. Bill and Dan. It's going to take some time to tell you all about it, but I will."
"Okay. You're not in trouble, are you?"
"Apparently not, but I'll tell you I WAS worried there a while. I did learn a few things, I think."
We arrived at the year room, to find everyone there.
"You're probably wondering why I invited you all here tonight," began Mark.
"You didn't do it Mark, Ingrid did."
"I know. But, I always wanted to say that," he quipped.
"What's this all about, Ingrid?" Sally asked.
"We need a year leader, and last night Dan and I were talking."
"That's Sophia," Mark interrupted.
"Sorry, right. Sophia and I were talking. SHE mentioned that we'd not chosen our leader yet, and I figured we should get it done on our own, before they make us."
Wayne chimed in, "So-So-o-phia wou-u-ld be g-go-o-od,"
We were all quiet at this, as Wayne hadn't contributed much except occasionally in private conversations.
"Yeah, she would," agreed Mark. "She figured out a way for Wayne and me to be able to work on our homework together."
Before things got out of hand, or there was a stampede, I said, "I think Ingrid should be the leader, She's the one that plans stuff, like having this meeting. Besides, Mark, I was just lucky, any of us could have come up with the answer."
I wasn't sure how much effect my comment had had, but it seemed to solidify the interest in the two of us. Eventually, Ingrid recognized that we were talking in circles. "How about we vote?"
"How do we want to do this?" Sally queried.
"I asked Kate, and she said there's a special application that controls voting for year leaders. I guess they've had problems before, so there are some rules on it. We can't vote for ourselves or our study partners–and the application makes sure of this. I sent you all a link to the application, so you don't need to go through the menus to find it. Once we all vote, we'll be presented with the winner, the standings, or if we all want, the details of the vote. I'd suggest that none of us look at the details. The election won't be unanimous, anyway." She laughed a little at the end.
"See? Ingrid found another answer," I said as I pulled out my PDA and saw the link she'd indicated. I quickly arranged to pick her name, and clicked send."
A bit later, all of the PDAs chimed.
"That's the signal that the votes have been tallied."
We all looked. "
Mark quickly went up to Ingrid, and got on his knees. "All bow before our fearsome leader!"
"I'll show you fearsome, you clown," Ingrid rejoined.
There was some general bantering at that. Wayne came up, and told me he still thought I'd make a better leader. I thanked him, but assured him Ingrid would be fine.
That evening, interspersed in our studying I told Renee about my various meetings during the afternoon.
"Wow, that's freaky, Dan. I'm glad they'll be able to help Fran, though."
"Yeah, me too, but it makes me worry more about how she'll be able to go home. And, it's one more thing about this school that I'll have to keep to myself once we graduate. Oh, I mean, we can talk about it, or maybe with others from the school. What do you think outsiders would say?"
"That's no joke! It'd hit the tabloids, big time."
"You know, it's a wonder it hasn't already hit them. I mean, it's obvious this school's been here a while. It's hard to believe that no kid or member of their family has ever spilled the beans."
"You know, you're right. Ohh, maybe they ship us all off to a hidden moon base when we graduate."
We both had a nice laugh at that.
"Um, I don't think we should talk about this last bit to the others, at least not yet."
"Why not? I think it's funny." she asked.
"Oh, it is, but, it might make them think about the school in more ways than as a school. There's an awful lot that is way different from any other school I've heard of. What if there's more?
"You don't really think they'll ship us off to the moon, do you?"
"No, but, things really aren't adding up. Stuff like them helping the transsexual kids and dress-up like this." I pointed at myself. "I can see how the dressing does teach you something. I've already learned a lot and I've only been doing this for two days. I'm beginning to understand how much more I have to learn."
"That's a little strange, I'll admit. But, why not share the joke?"
"Things are adding up in a way I'm not sure I like. Saying it might get some of the others worried, too."
"You're worried?"
"Uncomfortable is probably a better term."
"Then just stop the dressing."
"Oh, it's not that. It's like there's something in the back of my head trying to get my attention, and I can't figure it out. It's like I know something, but can't remember it. Sorry, I'm always bugged when that happens."
"Why don't you talk to one of the shrinks about it?"
"Don't you think I've wasted enough of their time the past two days? I mean, not being able to tell them about Fran almost got me making this permanent."
"Maybe you, no WE should talk to Fran, and explain what happened."
"I guess we do owe them that explanation." I sighed.
I looked at my PDA. "Well, there's no time for that tonight. We've still got a few lessons to get over, 'cause of all my extra stuff this afternoon."
We settled down and finished our work with minutes to spare before our self imposed deadline at curfew.
"Can you braid my hair tonight, so I don't wake up with the spiders?"
"I can try. I used to help plait some of the younger girls' hair back at the orphanage. But, they had pretty straight hair."
"This isn't curly. It's wavy."
"Okay, only if it were curly, you'd probably not have to worry so much."
I laughed, but then wondered if that was really the case. I'd have to ask when I went to the salon the next time.
We looked around for some hair ties, figuring that braiding without them wouldn't do much good. She then braided my hair, and it felt kinda funny. No, that's not right. I'd been surprised at the feeling of the hair around my ears and face, but now it was gone again.
--- Thursday, July 15, 2004
Waking up the next morning was less difficult. The braid HAD helped keep my hair under control. I wondered if a simple ponytail would do as good a job. Getting up, I padded to the bathroom and took care of business, then looked at myself in the mirror. I'd seen myself previously, but I was still surprised. I looked an awful lot like Karen, and couldn't see any of Kirk. That hurt a little, 'cause, while he'd teased me, he'd also been my best friend until he got shipped back to Grandma and Grandpa's for high school. Am I really turning into my sister? Maybe I should talk to Dan about this if things get bad.
I checked my schedule then, using the big screen on my computer. What's this? Swimming evaluation right after breakfast. No–a good half hour later. Yeah, they'll probably talk at us some before they test us.
I started to get my outfit together, and was mostly dressed when I heard, "You decent, Dan?"
"Yeah, come on in, I've got a question."
"The swimming, right?"
"Yeah, how did you guess?"
"There's a couple of bathing suits in the closet, and you'd best get a swimming cap to give your hair some protection."
I gulped. "Okay, pick one out for me, please?"
She laughed. "You'll be okay. She went in, and after a minute, came out with a bag. She reached in, and pulled out two tiny pieces of material.
"Noooooo."
"Oh, Dan, you'll be sooo cute in a bikini."
"Renee ... Please," I begged.
"Okay, sorry, I couldn't resist." She tossed the suit on the bed, and pulled something else out of the bag. "Here's the real suit, it's a racing suit, kinda tight all over, but it covers you to the neck. Your forms won't show."
I gave a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I was afraid that," pointing at the bikini, "that was all there was."
"You ought to know better. There were several suits, really. You do have another issue though. Do you mind showing?"
I looked at her blankly for a minute, then I KNOW I turned bright red. I seem to get embarrassed a lot lately. "Ohhh. Yeah." Then, I remembered what Dr. Bill had said about something to hide my friend.
"Maybe there's something in the drawer," I said, as I walked over to the bedside table again. "Dr, Bill said it'd be under the forms box." I looked in, and saw three different gaffs, just like he'd said. One looked like it wouldn't show under my old jockeys, so I figured it would have to do for swimming. "Yeah, it's here. I guess it's a good thing I talked to him. I know the theory behind this torture device."
"Torture device?"
"You recall your classes on boys and girls?" At her nod, I continued, "Well, it has to be bent backward and held in place."
"Ewww. That sounds yucky."
"Yeah. I'm not looking forward to it." I tossed it into the bag with the rest of the stuff. "No reason to put it on before I have to."
Then, I remembered the braid. "Thanks for the braid. It worked like a charm."
"Well, it's a mess now. Do you want me to fix it, or wear your hair back down?"
I thought. "I'd best wear it normally. We'll have to wash after swimming, and I think the wet braid might be hard to get out."
"Yeah, let's go into the en-suite and I'll un-plait it for you now."
We did, and then I brushed out my hair like I'd been shown.
"That's pretty good. You're a quick learner."
I nodded. "I guess it goes with my mimicking ability."
We finished getting ready, and left our bags by her door. Our plan was to come back after breakfast and get our suits on, then put something on over them. The bags had our clean change for after swimming.
Kate was at our table for breakfast, and I noticed that Renee was more subdued than normal. I mean, she's usually quiet when we're out of our rooms, but this was more.
"Hello, Sophia. Are you ready for your swimming evaluation this morning?" Kate asked.
"I think so. I'm planning on changing back in the room after breakfast and carrying some clean stuff for changing afterward."
"Good plan. Since you've got that covered, we may as well tuck in once the food gets here." She went on to greet the rest of the year. Renee responded with one syllable responses. Wow, that's worse than she was with Keith. I thought it just was men she had trouble with.
After breakfast, we returned to the room, and as soon as we got inside, "Are you okay?"
"I'll be okay in a minute."
I didn't say anything then, but I stayed with her until she seemed to be doing better.
"Thanks, Dan. We'd best get ready."
"You going to be okay?"
"Yeah. I'm okay now."
"Okay. Talk to me later if you want."
"Maybe." I looked at her with concern. "Okay, I'll try, but we DO need to get ready."
"I know, but you come first!"
She gave me a quick hug, "I'm okay now, really. Go and get ready."
I went into my room, and quickly undressed, laying it on the bed. Next, was figuring out the gaff. I was supposed to shove my balls up into my body but when I tried, they kept falling out. Dr. Bill had said they should pop in with a little discomfort and stay, but it didn't want to work. I sighed. Okay, I'll pull this gaff almost in place and try to move things fast. Well, it sorta worked, but it hurt, sorta. It's supposed to work. Maybe it'll get better.
I pulled the swim suit on over the gaff, and got dressed, with a turtleneck in place of the blouse I'd been wearing earlier. I put my clean unders and the swim cap into the bag, and checked everything.
I called out, "You ready?" at the same time she said the same thing.
I made my way to the door. I laughed a little, but stopped 'cause it was really uncomfortable. I guess I should have changed at the pool or something.
We headed out, and others were coming into the hall at the same time. I was quieter than normal, 'cause I was just very uncomfortable. Apparently it was affecting how I was walking.
"Are you okay, Sophia?"
"I think so."
"Do you need to go see the docs?"
"NO!" I quieted down. "Sorry, I saw him yesterday and the day before. That's enough for one week."
"If it keeps up, you should go and see him again," Ingrid interrupted.
"Yes, mother."
"Silly! If something hurts, it's usually a hint that it needs to be fixed."
I must have jumped a bit at the last word. I didn't want to get FIXED, like the puppy we'd had in Naples.
As things seemed to be going a little numb, I figured I'd be okay. "It's getting better."
"All right then." She looked at me, then shrugged.
I managed to walk more evenly the rest of the way to the pool. Arriving there, I got out of my clothes, took one of the provided towels, and wrapped it over me. I thought it was a little cool, but Sally said it was a great temperature for swimming. I dunno. I kinda liked warmer weather. It wasn't long before the eight of us were standing together in a corner of the pool room. It was a nice sized pool. I was still a little uncomfortable, and wished it would just go away. My discomfort was distracting me enough so I didn't hear someone come up behind us, well, me.
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Fields, but you can call me Jon. Today we have your swimming evaluation, which is to determine your relative skill levels and see what kind of teaching you will need. First, are there any non-swimmers?" He looked around. "Your profiles said you were all swimmers, but we've found it best to ask anyway.'
"Here's the test. You'll jump into the pool here at the deep end and then swim four lengths, without stopping. You may use any stroke you wish. When you return to this end the second time, you will touch the wall, then move back about two meters and tread water until I blow my whistle, or you can't any more. The goal is for you to tread water for two minutes. Once you finish that, you'll get out, and wait for the rest of your class to finish." He paused, I suspect waiting for questions.
"Passing gives you a basic certification. Those that pass can choose to take the advanced tests if they like. Those that do not pass will have a chance to re-take the test at a future date, and remedial lessons will be available. Most classes have at least one student that, even after remedial classes, cannot pass the test. They will continue to receive training until they can pass. It's a safety thing. All pupils should be able to swim to some extent. It is also not unusual to have someone in the class breeze through all the tests and be certified as a lifeguard, though usually not until year two or three."
He then asked if any of us had questions. There were a few, but they were quickly resolved. I did notice that Renee seemed to keep me or one of the others between the teacher and herself. What IS her problem? I resolved again to find out and help her with her issue. We ended up doing the test in pairs. As it turned out, Renee and I would go second to last, with Mark and Wayne last.
We watched Ingrid and Fran take to the water, and both managed to pass easily. My discomfort distracted me some, but I looked to see if Fran had figured out the gaff, and it looked like she had. Maybe I could ask her. I shook my head, and turned to watch Sally and Pru.
Wow, Sally just flew through the water and was back treading water before Pru even turned back on her last length. The instructor's whistle came just after Pru started treading. Instead of getting out, Sally stayed with her and encouraged her to hold out. I think Sally's encouragement is what helped her to pass.
At our turn, I put down my towel, and walked to the side. I saw some strange looks from Mark and Wayne, but hoped it was for the obvious reason, not because something was showing. When I jumped in, the cold bit right through me, and I gave a yell while still under water. That just made things worse. I started swimming, using Renee, who was in front of me, to keep me going. I kicked enough to breathe, but otherwise let my legs trail, as that hurt less. When we got back to the deep end for the treading, I just couldn't kick much and I reached for the side before Renee, and just hung there for a minute.
Climbing out was misery, but I think I must have managed to mask it because the teacher didn't say anything. He did come over though. "Is there anything wrong?"
"No, sir."
"I was just wondering, because you didn't seem to remember you had legs, either while swimming or treading water.
I'm sorry; maybe I hit my toe or something." He looked at me, "We'll schedule remedial lessons to help you remember they're there."
"Thank you, sir." I felt so embarrassed to have flunked. I usually swam much better. I couldn't wait to get this torture device off.
Mark and Wayne went on to pass as well.
"I'm glad most of you passed on the first try. Once Sophia completes her remedial classes, she'll be fine. Does anyone desire to take the advanced test today?"
Sally and Mark volunteered. Mark managed to pass the test, barely. But the surprise was Sally. She breezed through the test and came up looking like she was ready for more.
"Okay, good efforts all of you. I'll log your levels. Go ahead and shower and change."
Getting back to the changing room was a chore with the low grade pain, but once I was able to get into the shower, and get the suit and device off, the sharp pain came back suddenly and then seemed to ease off. I must be doing something wrong. Based on everything I've seen here, I can't believe it's supposed to be so painful. But, who can I ask? Just standing there in the warm shower helped relax me more than I'd expected. I still wasn't used to the breasts, or the hair. It seemed to take forever to get the soap out. I was used to a quick rinse.
"Sophia, are you going to stay in there, like forever? We do all need to get through, and you're hogging that one," Ingrid said.
"Sorry, just getting the stuff out of my hair. It takes longer than I'm used to." I heard some laughter from the outside. Then, as it seemed to be rinsed as well as it was going to be, I shut off the shower. Pulling down the towel I dried off quickly, then wrapped it around me like I'd seen my mom do on occasion. "Next," I said, as I popped out of the shower and moved over to one of the changing rooms to get dressed.
Classes went normally, until my deportment class with Kelly. I was walking a little slower than normal, due to some residual pain in my groin.
"Good afternoon, Sophia. I've heard good reports on your progress from the other staff."
"Ummm." Okay, I'm a great conversationalist.
Kelly laughed. "I'm not checking up on you, Sophia. Several happened to make a point of letting me know how well you seemed to be handling things."
"Oh, well, um, what do we do today?"
She laughed a bit again, "Okay. We'll start with a review. Let's see you walk across the room and back."
I tried keeping my steps short, but I guess she could see something.
"Are the shoes okay?"
"Umm, yes."
"You seem to be a bit stiffer walking than last time. You sure the shoes didn't rub?"
"Yes, ma'am." Well, nothing for it. I sighed, "I had some trouble at the swimming evaluation this morning."
"You hit the wall or bottom?"
"Umm, no." Okay, out with it. It'll come out sooner or later, anyway. Sighing, "I had problems with the gaff."
"I see. Several youths have had difficulties, but that was trying to put them on wrong."
"I think I was following Dr. Bill's directions."
"I'm not an expert at putting them on, but perhaps you should go back and see him about it. My understanding is that they can be uncomfortable and take some getting used to, but they shouldn't cause long term pain. Perhaps you should go back to see him and show him what you're doing." I must have jumped, or started at least, "You don't like that idea?"
"I've already seen him twice this week."
Kelly thought for a few minutes. "Maybe you could ask another pupil to help you out?"
"Who could I ask?"
She smiled, "Quite a number of the pupils in the older years have considerable experience, but, you probably don't want to just go up and ask one, do you?"
"Ummm."
"Don't worry. Why don't you ask Andy? You've indicated you already know him. I'm sure he'd be glad to help out."
"Andy knows... wait, you and the others said he knew a lot about hair and makeup and such, and he's been through a lot of mix-up days, hasn't he?"
"Yes, and, like you, he's not clowned through them, though, you might think he would." She picked up her PDA, which had been sitting on the table beside her, and keyed something in. "Let me make a quick note."
She's warning Andy. Now I can't get out of it.
After she put her PDA down, she sat there a moment, "Enough is enough, you're not here for that anyway, so on to our topic. Your basic walk looks okay, but we'll work some more on it when your issues are resolved. Today, we'll start by watching a series of people, both, male and female, walking. I want you to see if you can make any generalizations about their arm motions."
She showed me a series of short clips. In some, two guys were walking side by side, then a guy and a girl, then two girls. Then the sequence repeated with other people. At first, I thought I saw a pattern to the arms, but after a bit, I wasn't sure.
"Did you notice anything?"
"I thought so, at the beginning, but now I'm not so sure."
"What did you think you saw?"
"Well, the guys seemed to have their palms to the back and swing the whole arm, if not the shoulder even; while the girls had their wrists partially to the front, and swung from the elbows more. Then, you showed some pictures of girls with their palms back, and they were swinging their arms from the shoulders, too. I didn't see too many guys with their wrists forward, but there were some that were swinging from the elbow."
"That's actually very good."
"But, a bit later, you had girls walking like gorillas, and guys that had their arms going like the girls earlier."
"Yes, that was intentional. I'm glad you were able to pick that out. There ARE differences in male and female walks, but they are neither one nor the other. As you saw, there is rather a wide variety of both. In your maths, have you looked at curves of things happening?"
"Yes. Even some grade distributions in my old school in Athens."
"Did they show a hump in the middle, and then peter out to one end or the other, sort of a bell shape?"
"Most of them, yes."
"Good. That's the way it is with walking. The average guy and girl do walk a little differently, but there are some girls that walk more like the average guy, and vice versa. There are many reasons for the difference. The two biggest of them are the hips that girls have, and the bulky muscles boys can develop. In the case of the girls, the bones in the arm actually have a little bit of a bend to allow them to not hit their hips, but they are also conditioned to not hit themselves naturally, and this imposes a little difference in how they swing their arms. With boys, the bulkier muscles make it easier to swing from the shoulder, and also tends to cause the wrists to make the hands turn the knuckles toward the front. A side effect of this arm swing can be seen, in an exaggerated way, when boys and girls run. Have you ever seen a guy accused of running like a girl?"
"Yeah, I was when I was little."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but it may explain something. In any case, it's caused by the fact the average girl's wrists are toward the front, which when they're running, causes them to swing over the shoulder on the same side, rather than across toward the opposing shoulder, which wrists down or to the back causes."
"Wow, I'd never thought of it that way. But what do you mean, by explain?"
"Your arm swing is fairly neutral already. You swing from the elbow, but don't exaggerate it too far, and your wrists point toward each other rather than to the front or back. That puts your walk between the two peaks of the bells I talked about earlier."
"Is that good?"
"It means you can retain your normal arm swing, and it won't detract from your presentation. Some people have to learn to swing their arms differently, just like learning to walk. It can take a long time. Why don't you also ask Andy about that, when you talk later?"
Maybe, I don't need to be bothering him with this. I can ask about the arm stuff next rehearsal. Yeah, the rest, I'll think of something. "Umm, okay."
"Don't worry, Andy's a good kid."
How'd she know I wasn't gunna do the other stuff? Maybe she doesn't. Oh, I'd best answer. "I know. It's just embarrassing."
"I can believe it, but if you think about it, it's probably easier than a lot of the other things you've done since you got here." She pointed at how I was dressed.
"Bingo. Thanks for reminding me." Hmmm, maybe? Nah, it's not that important.
She smiled. "We're all here to help you be all you can. Now, as I said, your arm swing is fine. Don't be self-conscious about it at all. I know, it's easy for me to say, but I'm serious. Just concentrate on your walking for another week, and next week we'll start showing you how to do makeup, and take better care of your hair. You should be happy with your progress."
"Thank you, um, Kelly." She smiled at my remembering to call her by name.
"Fine, off you go, then."
I left, with a lot to think about. I was surprised at the compliment, and a bit anxious about working with Andy, despite the help he'd provided earlier. I wonder how Renee's session with Simon went?
Comments are greatly appreciated!
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
I stood there, wondering if I should wait for Renee, or head back to our room. As I'd just about decided to wait, my PDA went off.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Sophia, this is Dan."
Danged, how'd he find out. "Umm, yes, sir?"
"Nothing serious, I just heard about your swimming this morning, and wondered if you had time to chat?"
I've had it now. "I can be there in a few. Let me send Renee a note."
"You had arranged to meet her? This can wait until tomorrow."
"No, sir. No plans. I'd just thought I might walk her back."
"Okay, I'll see you in a bit. You do remember where my office is, don't you?"
Laughing, "Yes, you're behind the door with no name."
"Okay, clown. I'll see you in a few minutes."
"Um. One question though?"
"Yes?"
"She's still in with Simon, I think, and I don't want the message chime to interrupt..." my voice trailed off at the end.
I could hear his chuckle "You can tag a message with a delayed delivery, and hook the delivery up to a time, or even to your study partner's schedule. You can also set one up to your year leader's schedule too, just like she can set them up for all of you."
He quickly told me how to find the delivery settings on the notes, and then how to link it to Renee's schedule.
"I'll be there as soon as I can send this." I quickly sent Renee a short note saying Dan had called me in to chat about swimming this morning and I would see her back in the rooms. Taking a breath; I headed off for Dan's office, figuring I may as well get this over with.
As Dan had previously taken me to his office, I was able to find it without resorting to the "follow me" directions in the PDA. Well, I did have to go a bit roundabout, 'cause there wasn't a straight hall, but still. I think the building is starting to make more sense now. I'm glad the halls and stairs don't move, like they do in Hogwarts! Reaching his office, I tentatively knocked, worried that my blowing the swimming test might land me in trouble.
Through the door, "Come on in, it's always open." I smiled, thinking that a closed door being open sounded funny.
"Good afternoon, Sophia. It's good to see you in a happy mood."
"I was just laughing at the closed door being open."
He snorted, "I'd never thought about it that way. In any event, what I meant was that, if I'm here, I'm available to you, or any other student here, and as you've found, available via PDA. You'll find the rest of the staff is equally accessible."
I nodded. "I hope I don't need to take regular advantage of that as I get to know how stuff is supposed to work."
"I'm sure; though explaining PDA functions is not our primary job."
Attempting to postpone the discussion about my swimming fiasco, I came up with the only thing I could think of relating to shrinking heads... Those shrunken heads, like we saw on the Night Bus in the movie, "You shrinks do head hunting too?" I know it's a stretch, but it's all I can think of.
"Let's see, have I actually gotten any heads?" He stood up, and went over to a wall cabinet, and opened it. "Nope, the shelf for heads is still empty. I'd hoped one day, to get an Abby Normal one," he said with an exaggerated sigh.
"You saw the movie?"
"It was memorable." Then as he returned and eased into his overstuffed chair, "Now that we have that out of the way; why don't we get down to this morning's swimming?"
"I didn't do too good."
"The report Jon filed didn't agree with what your parents said in the questionnaire they filled out..."
He paused and looked at me. As I had no idea what to say, and knew I'd not done my best on the test, I just sat there.
"Did something happen to cause you to not do your best?"
Maybe Kelly was messaging Dan. Best own up to something. Sighing, "I must have put the gaff on wrong or something, 'cause it was very uncomfortable and even painful at times, 'specially when I was trying to kick in the swimming and treading water. I could barely pull myself out of the pool."
"Why'd you tell Jon that you kicked something? Were you embarrassed?"
I nodded. Dan's a nice enough guy, but talking about this is weird. It was embarrassing enough when Dr. Bill explained it.
"That's understandable. Even some of the students that are transgendered have issues talking about the equipment when they first start using it. And, you're just learning out of respect, or so you've said."
"Yes. I did some reading the other night, and I've talked to one..." I stopped. I can't say Fran, 'cause I promised.
"One? Have you talked with one of the students about it?"
I nodded, not willing to say anything.
"Let me guess, you promised to not say anything, am I right?"
I nodded again.
"I thought so, not to worry. Knowing that does help me understand what you're thinking, but, we can be a lot more help to you and the other students if you trust us and are open with us. Hopefully, you will soon come to realize we really are here for your benefit."
I nodded, steeling myself for a long lecture; I was surprised when he left it there.
"So, do you know what you did wrong with the gaff?"
"Not really, I thought I was doing what Dr. Bill had described."
"Maybe you should go back to the clinic and see him or the duty nurse, and see if they can sort the problem." He was watching me, "You don't like the idea of going back. Is it going back so soon, or is there some other reason?"
"Umm, mostly so soon, I guess. I mean, I'm not sick or anything. Except for my annual checkups and getting sick, I don't think I've ever been to a doc's office that much. Now, I've seen him twice in two days, and at least one of them was not needed. I feel like I'm wasting his valuable time."
"We're all here to help you, you know."
"Yes, but not just me. I have to believe there are others that need his care more, or at least they probably do."
"I see where you're coming from. I assure you that we all will give you as much time as you need. Yes, occasionally someone else may have something happen that is more immediately critical, and we'll ask you to postpone or find someone else to help you. Life happens and we're not in a vacuum."
I was glad he'd at least said that, though I dunno what I'd have done if he'd claimed we were all first priority no matter what.
"Okay, so you don't want to see him yet. You could always skip the gaff, you know."
"But, I wouldn't look right."
"In a few things, maybe, but nobody at the school would question you if you decided to do that."
"'Kay." I sat quietly thinking. What am I really trying to learn here? Does it make a difference? "No, I'd best learn what I was doing wrong." I looked at him then.
"Sorry, I can get you help there, but I've never tried one myself."
That broke the tension that had been building in me. I tried to picture Dan dressed as a girl, and just couldn't. Apparently this even showed on my face.
"That strikes you funny, does it?"
I nodded sheepishly.
"You may be surprised someday then. But, if you don't want to go the clinic for help, perhaps another student that knows how they work can help you? Maybe the one you've not told me about knows, and would be willing to help? In addition, many of the upper class students have worn them, and could help you as well."
He suspects it's Fran I'm protecting; otherwise he'd not have separated things like that, unless there's another in the class? No, I can't see Sally or Pru... no it's not them.
We talked for another half hour, and I eventually agreed I'd ask for help, if I couldn't figure it out on my own.
"Remember, Sophia, call or stop by any time. If you need help, and don't want to go somewhere else, I can help you, too. You don't need to wait for me to call you. You certainly were not hesitant a few days ago."
"That was different..." I started to say, then realized it really wasn't that different, just that I'd thought of it differently. "Sorry, I guess it really wasn't."
"No, and I'm glad you realized it. You're a good boy, and I'm sure you'll do well."
Suddenly, it hit me; he'd offered to help me with the gaff, I thought. "Wait, you said you'd never tried the gaff."
"No, I haven't, but that doesn't mean I don't know how it works."
"Why, just so you can help kids?"
"No, now, perhaps I should back up a bit. You know I'm a shrink. Did you know that all of us here in the UK are medical school graduates before we go on to study counseling?"
"You're a doctor, too?"
He smiled. "Yes, and I examined patients while in school. So, I know where and how things are supposed to fit. So, as I said, if you can't bring yourself to admit to someone else that you're having an issue, let me know and we'll sort your problem."
"Thanks, Dan. As I was saying, if I can't manage on my own, I'll let you know."
With that, our chat came to a quick close. Wow, with the shrinks being docs, too, they have a lot of docs here for the number of people! I made my way back to my room, hoping to find Renee there, to talk to.
Opening my door, I heard something. Hmmm, what? I closed my door, and went in further. Why would someone be crying in here? It had to be Renee, but I couldn't figure out what she could be crying about. I quietly kicked my shoes off, and put down my things before going over to her room.
I saw her on her bed with her face in her pillow. Tentatively, I said, "Renee," as I walked over toward the bed, "Are you okay?"
Not knowing what else to do, I went over, and sat on the side of her bed, and held out my arms. What do I do now? Renee dropped the pillow, and flung herself into me. I held her, like I had the other day, when she was crying over her lost family. Did something remind her of her dad again?
After what seemed like an hour, but must have only been a few minutes, she seemed to quiet some.
"Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry." She choked out.
"What's wrong, Ren?"
"I-I-I ca-can't do it anymore."
"Do what?"
Her sobbing got worse again for a little, then, "Simon," she choked out.
"Did Simon do something?" I couldn't believe that anyone here would hurt someone. So far, it's been so positive.
"No-no." she said. Then, choking back her tears, "I'm not taking the classes any more, I'm sorry." Then she was bawling even louder.
I held her a bit more, saying "It's okay," over and over. As she settled back down, "Did Simon kick you out?"
I felt her shake her head. I continued to hold her, and stroked her back. "It's okay, Renee."
"Dan, I quit."
"Hey, I know it's been hard on you. I don't mind."
"But, we were..."
I interrupted. "I appreciate your thought about taking classes with me, but you don't have to, you know."
"I-I-I'm sorry, I thought I could."
"You do what you need to. I'm the strange person that has to learn things like this. I mean, how many guys do you see walking around in skirts, well, other than on the telly."
This surprised a little gasp from her, that I was willing to call a laugh. If she could do that, maybe she'd be getting better soon. I knew I'd need to change this top before dinner, or at least I assumed I would 'cause it was feeling soaked.
She did stop sobbing though, and pulled back a little, "Oh, I soaked your blouse."
"I kinda figured that. There's plenty more in the closet."
This surprised another almost laugh out of her. "But,"
"Hey, don't worry, I don't mind. Can you tell me what happened?"
She then proceeded to tell me about how poorly she'd been doing, and that Simon had stopped the lesson, and talked with her briefly about why she was trying to do it. "He suggested that with my difficulties, it appeared, to him to be due to some lack of motivation; almost as if I didn't really want to. He suggested that this apparent lack of motivation was getting in the way of my ability to learn, and that it might best postpone any more lessons until my issues are resolved".
"Sounds like he wasn't as bad as all that."
"No. Not really, but I couldn't do the exercises he wanted me to, 'cause it made me..." she cut off then.
I didn't move, not wanting to cause any reaction. It was apparent to me that the class made her remember something that was painful. Maybe someday soon, she'll be able to tell me what it was. "I'm sorry I wasn't out there waiting when your class finished."
She looked at me then, "What happened? I saw a note from you, but was so upset, I just came back here."
"You've been crying since then? Why?"
"Maybe I'd best look at your note, huh."
I was distracted from my thought by this. She pulled out her PDA, "Oh, I've another note too." Then, she said, "Dan sent me a note, too. I guess, right after you got done with him. Looks like I get to go see him next." She showed me her PDA.
|
"He's not hard to talk to. He can ask hard questions, though." I wonder what he knows about her?
"What was yours about?"
"Remember how I had trouble with the swimming?"
She nodded.
"And my walking this morning?"
"You were in pain, weren't you?"
I nodded. This was embarrassing, but it was also distracting her. "Yeah. The gaff, that's what the thing to hide stuff down there is called, didn't work right for me for some reason."
"And Dan wanted to talk to you about that?"
"That was part of it, but what he'd brought me in for was to talk about why I'd done so bad on the swim check, this morning. But, he also brought up that I'm trying to protect someone by not saying who I know that's transgendered again. And then, I got the trust the staff speech, again."
"What did he want you to do about the ga- what did you call it?"
"The gaff. He wanted me to go back and talk to Dr. Bill or one of the nurses again, or maybe ask another student for help with it. Believe it or not, he even offered to help."
She giggled at the last. "No, he's a medical doctor as well as a shrink."
She was quiet for a minute or so, then said, "Want me to help you get it right?"
"You would?"
"Sure."
"Just a sec, let me go get the torture device."
I ran next door, and came back handing it to her.
I then dropped my skirt, and started pulling down my panties. "I've gotta get that close, then push up my..." I suddenly got very red in the face, as I realized I'd pulled my panties down right in front of a girl.
"What-" she started, then "Ohhhh."
I didn't look, but I figured she was probably as red as I was. "I'm sorry." And pulled my panties back up.
She took a breath. "No, it's okay, Dan. I'll still help you."
I looked up at her, "Are you sure?"
"You don't want to see the doc again, do you?"
"Not really, no." I really wasn't sure why.
"Seriously, Dan, if you'll let me, I'll help.
I swallowed. "If you're sure..."
Taking a deep breath, I explained what was supposed to happen, and that it hadn't worked for me. "I tried holding things in place with one hand, while pulling it up, but they slipped out."
"How about I pull the gaff up while you try to hold things in place?"
Gulping, I agreed.
I pushed and tugged, "Okay."
She pulled it up; it felt funny with her doing that. I mean, I don't remember anyone pulling up my unders before. I know my folks must have when I was a little kid, but that was different. They're my parents.
"You have to move a hand now."
I let go of the one holding it back, hoping I could hold things in place while she worked it up. I grabbed the front of the gaff. Well, it was up, except I still had one hand in the way. "Ummmm"
"Maybe if you put your other hand on the outside, and pushed, while you pull the right one out?"
"That's an idea." I did it, and was able to extract my right hand. Stepping back, "I think that worked."
I looked at her, and realized she was holding both fists to her chin. "What's wrong?"
"I-we-I Umm. Your, ummm."
I looked where her eyes were glued. "Oh, my go..." I pulled at the hem of my blouse, trying to cover myself, to no avail. "I-I-I wasn't thinking." I said as I gave up, and grabbed for my panties and skirt. "I'm sorry." I couldn't take it anymore; I just ran for my room.
I ran for my bathroom, closed the door and sat throne, still holding my panties and skirt. What did I do? She said she'd help, when my panties were down, but then at the end. I KNOW she has guy issues, and I went and... She's a girl... My mind sat there running around in circles for a few minutes. I did eventually settle down, and realized my bum was getting cold. I'd best get back dressed. Maybe she'll come over so I can apologize. I pulled my panties over my gaff. You know, this thing's uncomfortable, but it doesn't hurt like it did this morning. I next pulled up my skirt, and zipped it. Reaching for my PDA, I discovered it wasn't there. Oops, my PDA must be on Renee's floor. I can't go back in now. She's still pissed at me.
I went out, into my room, and checked the time and my schedule on the PC. It was okay. I had about an hour to work on the assignments we'd gotten. So, I quietly grabbed my books and started to work. I plugged away at it, thinking that it was much harder than I'd expected. When the chime on my PC went off, I realized I'd run out of time, and would have to go to dinner. I listened carefully, and could hear someone moving around in Renee's room. Maybe she is getting ready to head to dinner as well.
I checked my outfit, and my hair. I noticed it was a little mussed, so ran a quick brush through to get it under control, before I slipped the heels back on, and I headed out into the hall. Turning toward the dining room, I saw Ingrid and Fran coming out of Fran's room. "Hi."
"Hi, Sophia, want to walk with us to dinner?"
"Sure. Did ya'll find the homework a little tougher than usual?"
They looked at each other, and Fran answered, "No, about the same. Were you having a problem?"
"I was getting there, but... It's okay. We should get going."
At that point, Renee opened her door. "Um, Sophia, you dropped your PDA." She held it toward me, not really looking at me.
"Thanks, Renee." I took it, and put it away.
We all turned then, and headed for dinner.
Renee was quiet, as usual. I didn't think she'd tell anyone what had happened, and I certainly wasn't going to. I mean, she...
My thoughts were interrupted, "Aren't you going to sit down with us, Sophia?"
I looked around, realizing I'd been lost in my thoughts and walking with the others on autopilot. "Sorry, Mrs. Mayhew, I mean Kate."
"Lost in thought, were you?"
"Yes, ma'am."
She chuckled. "It's a good idea to pay a little attention when you're walking."
I ducked my head. I know I ate dinner, but I don't have any recollection as to what it was, which was a shame, 'cause the food here had been really good.
Just before desert was served, Mr. Hobson stood up. "I've one short announcement before we get on to the desert. As you may all recall, we had to postpone Mix-up Monday due to guests." I wondered what was going on, but a quick glance at one of the other tables showed they seemed to know what was going to happen. "It's now time to announce the rescheduled day this coming Monday. If any of you first years have forgotten the rules, you can check with your support staff or any of the upper year pupils. I look forward to seeing you all. Now, those of you collecting tonight can go pick up the sweet. I've delayed you all quite enough." The last generated a few laughs from the older kids. I think most of our table was lost in thought.
I sat quietly, worried about Renee. Then, I heard Mark chime in, "Why doesn't the staff switch too?"
"Mark, that's a worthy question. The simple reason is a combination of time, and the fact that most staff do not live on the school grounds. Take a look at Keith over there, or Dan. Don't you think they might have some issues driving to school in the morning, in a dress? But, it's more than that. There's nothing to stop anyone on staff from joining you, but we generally don't for the simple reason we want you to recognize us, and react to us normally."
I could see some heads nodding. I tried to picture Dan, with his goatee, in a dress. It just didn't work. Maybe THAT's why I've never seen any of the older kids with a beard or mustache. In the last school, some did sport them, and lorded it over those of us that didn't need to shave yet. A beard would make dressing hard.
"Does that answer your question, Mark?"
"Yes, ma'am. But, I still think it'd be only fair for all of you to do this too."
She smiled. "Objection noted." Then, I'm not sure how she did it, but she turned a little, and was addressing us all. "Don't over stress with this. I know, you're thinking 'easy for her to say'. But it's NOT intended to be overly stressful. It is a learning experience. Some of you may choose to keep up in the opposite sex attire," There was a snort which, I'm sure came from Mark. But Kate continued as if nothing had happened. "while others may choose to experiment with androgynous attire for a while. That's happened before, and I'm sure it will again."
"Do we have to take the classes, like Sophia?" queried Sally.
"No, of course not. You're welcome to, but there is certainly no requirement to do so. The vast majority do not take the lessons"
I noticed that Renee seemed to be trying to keep me between Kate and herself. I thought it was guys she avoided. Is it something Kate said? Dessert arrived then, and we all quieted down to eat.
"Sophia, are you alright?" asked Kate quietly.
"Yes'm." I didn't want to go into things right then, or anytime really.
"Are you sure? You're not talking much tonight?"
"I'm a little tired, I expect."
"All right." She turned back to her desert.
I must have spaced out again. 'Cause I was suddenly done eating. What got my attention was Kate pulling out her PDA, and keying something into it.
"Enjoy your evenings. I'll be seeing you." And Kate was off.
"Sophia, Renee." Dan had walked up behind us, as we were standing waiting for Ingrid and Fran to get back from taking the dirty dessert dishes back. "Do you two have a few minutes?"
Renee nodded, and I agreed. I mean, what else could we do?
Ingrid and Fran walked up.
"The four of you don't have anything planned, do you?"
"No, sir," responded Ingrid.
"Then, I'm afraid I need to steal these two for a little chat."
They nodded, and headed out.
Dan led us off to his office. "I thought it might be a good idea to talk over what you're going to do on Monday, Renee."
She nodded.
We continued on in silence, until we got to his office.
"Have a seat." He indicated the settee, while he took the chair opposite.
Renee sat at one end of the settee, and I took the other end. I didn't want to offend her further. I mean, that's got to be what I did.
"Renee, I understand you stopped the boy lessons."
She nodded in agreement.
"Would you care to tell me why?"
"I-I-I just couldn't."
I could see Dan nodding. What was so hard? Was it harder to be a guy?
"You didn't have to take the lessons for mix-up Monday."
She nodded. "I guessed, because they had our first mix-up Monday scheduled before anyone had a chance."
"Then, why did you start them?"
"Because Dan was taking the girl lessons."
"I applaud your desire to support your study partner. She's put a lot into learning." He turned toward me. "Sophia, what do you think about Renee dropping out of the boy classes?"
"It's up to her, sir. I thought she wanted to take them, at first, but she admitted it was hard."
"And, you don't have any issue with her stopping?"
I shook my head.
"Renee, there is no need or requirement to do the lessons to participate in mix-up Monday, as you deduced." He paused. I thought he was going to wait for one of us to say something; then he continued. "Are you going to be okay Monday?"
Renee was very quiet, so I jumped in. My issue didn't affect what we'd talked about earlier. "We talked about that before dinner. She's going to try just wearing the clothes."
"I see, did she explain why she had issues?"
I looked over, and could see her almost shrink into herself. Turning back to Dan, "No, I figure it's her business, not mine."
"Have you hidden anything from your past?"
I'd turned to look at Renee, but jerked my eyes back to him at the question. "Of course not."
"Renee, has Sophia been helpful?"
"Oh, yes. He's-she's wonderful."
Dan smiled; I think at her changing her pronoun at his reminder.
"It's important that you both be there for each other. It's likely that there will be times Sophia needs you, and you may well need her. Don't hesitate to trust each other, and, as much as you can, try not to keep important secrets from each other. I don't mean simple little things like a surprise party or some such. I mean things you consider important. A good example; is Sophia's reasons for dressing and learning what she's learning. Has she explained, to you, her full reason?"
She nodded. "And, how it caused some confusion."
Dan gave a big smile at that. "That's very good. Study partners, in many ways, should be each other's first place to go for help." He paused, "What did you think about the Judo lesson?"
"Oh, it was fun. I never thought falling down would be so hard. I mean, falling down, without getting hurt."
"Yes, I heard about that." He paused thinking, "Now, what was that joke? Oh, Yes. Flying isn't hard. You just throw yourself at the ground..." he paused a moment to let the start sink in, "... and miss."
That surprised a barked laugh out of me, and I heard Renee laugh some too.
"Good, you're beginning to lighten up. As to the plan to just wear the clothes, that'll partially work. You need to decide on what you want us to call you when wearing boy's clothing. You don't necessarily have to act any different from normal, but you will wear the clothes, and need to answer to the name. Have you thought about one?
I chimed in. "How about Rene'? Like that French mathematician Descartes or something."
Dan chuckled. "That's quick thinking, Sophia. And, it IS within the rules for naming. So, if you like, it's fine, Renee."
"I-I-I might."
"I'm glad you're helping, Sophia." Then, he sat forward, and turned toward Renee. "If you have any problems on Monday, or before getting ready or anything, please don't hesitate to call or ask for help."
Wow, there really IS something deep here. I mean, she's just wearing the clothing. What is there in her past that makes things so hard for her?
She nodded agreement.
Dan looked at her for a moment, though it seemed longer, before turning his gaze on me. "Do either of you want to tell me why Kate sent me a note that you weren't acting normally at dinner?"
I didn't even want to look at Renee right now, fearing what she might be thinking about me. And, not willing to talk about my issue, I sat quietly.
"I can see she was right. Did something happen?" He paused a moment, but neither of us responded. "I could get the same answer from the settee itself. How about we try another tack? Sophia, we had a nice chat a before dinner, and you were nervous, but talking, right?"
"Um, yes sir." What else could I say, he'd been there too.
"And, I sent a note to Renee that we needed to talk about her class with Simon and the mix-up Monday. Did you know about that?"
"She showed it to me when I got back to the room."
"So, you were talking then?"
I dunno about Renee, but I nodded agreement.
"Did you tell her about our discussion?"
Quietly, I said, "Yes" with a nod.
"Renee, did learning about Sophia's dressing problem disturb you?"
I could barely hear her response. "Not really."
"Did he tell you I'd suggested he ask one of the students to help?"
"Sorta."
I interrupted then, before she could embarrass herself, "I got it fixed."
"How did you manage that?" he turned back to me.
Suddenly, both Renee and I were talking. I was trying to say I'd gotten it on, I think she was trying to say she'd helped.
"Whoa, slow down." We both quieted down at this. "First, I couldn't get more than a handful of words out of you, now you're both babbling like there was no tomorrow." He paused, looking at us both. "Do you think that maybe getting things sorted there might have led to this little chat?"
I sighed, and nodded.
"I think we're getting somewhere. Renee, did you help Sophia with her issue?"
"Yes" came quietly from her end of the couch, then "Dan, I mean Sophia needed help, and I was there. I had to help him, I mean her."
I'd not taken my eyes off Dan, and saw his eyes narrow briefly. I started to open my mouth, but Dan interrupted me.
"Let Renee take it for now, Sophia." I settled back, hoping she wouldn't get into trouble. I figured I was in enough trouble already. "Now, Renee, would you mind describing how you helped her?"
"Dan held his willly and things in place, and I pulled up the thing."
"The gaff?"
"Yes, that's it. I pulled it up, while Dan took care of getting stuff in the right place.
I know I'm going to catch it now. I mean, I'm not really a girl. My mom would have had a cow already, and Dad. I remember when Karen had that guy in her bedroom, and their clothes were on, I think. She really caught it. Kirk and I had a big laugh over it.
"I see... That was very helpful of you; the kind of thing study partners SHOULD do for each other." He paused and looked at both of us.
Huh? That's good? I mean it helped? But Renee... My thoughts trailed off.
"However," I knew there was a BUT in there somewhere. "The school has a rule that you must both always keep your underwear on, when in the room together."
"Renee, did you have any problems, when you helped Sophia?"
"No. He-she was. I dunno. Dan needed help and I was there. What else should I have done?"
She didn't have problems? I thought she had issues with guys?
"You did what you should have, Renee. And, don't worry about which pronoun you're using. That comes with practice. The action you took, while technically breaking the rule, was the right one. The rule that says you should help your fellow students should take precedence. Thank you for giving DAN a hand."
What the heck? We're not in trouble? She isn't upset?
"I can see you appear a bit confused, Sophia. Why don't you tell us why?"
"She-she's not upset with me?"
"No, Dan, why should I be?"
"But, I-I made you."
"You didn't MAKE me do anything. You're my FRIEND." Then, she continued in a quiet voice, "The first friend I've had since my parents died."
Was there wonder in her voice? I thought I knew what it was like to be lonely, sorta. But, to think of years with nobody...
She continued, "I-I was afraid you were upset with me, when you ran off."
Turning toward Renee, "No, I realized what you'd helped with, and, uhhh. I was afraid you'd be upset with me." Then, all in a rush, "I know you have issues with guys."
"Huh, but you're different."
It continued more of the same for a few minutes. I suspect that Dan was having a little laugh at our exchange. I vaguely remember him chuckling at my 'Yeah, I guess, not many guys dress like this.' but, not much after that.
After we'd settled down a little, he said "I don't know, when you weren't talking, my ears were feeling better."
"But, she doesn't..." I started.
"Hate me, and we're still" Renee interrupted.
"Friends." I continued.
"Whoa. Slow down, you two. Completing each other's sentences is easier for me to follow than that talking on top of each other before, but it is still disconcerting."
"We were what?" we said together.
"Enough. Please."
We looked at each other, and I don't know which of us started it, but it wasn't long before we were both giggling. Yes, I know. I'm a guy, but I don't know how else to describe it. It wasn't long, and I suspect part of it was the relief of tension we'd not even known we were feeling. It was for me, anyway.
"Now that you've got it out of your system, maybe we can talk about what happened earlier and how you both reacted."
"First, would you explain what you meant earlier by talking across each other?" I asked.
"I said talking on top, but across works just as well, Sophia. What I meant was you were both talking at the same time, and apparently hearing what the other was saying. If I listened to one and then the other, I could follow what you were saying, or if I reversed it. It wasn't quite two different conversations, but it was a little hard for an outsider to keep up.
I shook my head. "Weird."
"Yes, but, completing each other's sentence and asking together was weird, too." Renee added.
"I wouldn't worry, unless your mates start to comment or complain about it."
We looked at each other again. I suspect my eyes had gotten as wide as Renee's were.
Dan talked to us for another ten or fifteen minutes, and restated his congratulations on our finding a way to work out my issue. He did suggest that I explain my problems to Dr. Bill the next time I saw him, but since I was apparently not in pain any more, we'd apparently worked through the matter.
"Now, you two need to keep talking. Don't let something come up that drives you apart like this. A misunderstanding is not hard to deal with early on, but let it build and things will get worse. Renee, I think we should talk some tomorrow before rehearsal."
"What? You said what we did was okay." I jumped to her defense.
"No, not about that. As I said, helping each other is very important here. Of course, there are limits, and you're generally better off sticking to the school's few rules."
"What are they? So far, we've not seen much evidence of special rules."
"The school does have a number of rules, intended primarily to protect you, the pupils. The keep your underwear on when alone with another pupil is one of them." At our questioning looks, "Once you're older it could become an issue; think back to the sex education," I think my jaw dropped or something, because he paused briefly before continuing, "boys and girls health lesions" –Oh, that stuff–"you had before coming here."
I thought about it, then looked at Renee, and saw her looking at me. Her eyes were the size of saucers, and I realize she'd had the same thought I had. "Ewww."
Dan laughed. "You're still young, Sophia. Did your older brother ever date?"
"Yeah, he even kissed her. But, I wasn't sure why."
"That's one of the things that seems to come with aging. Don't worry that neither of you have that issue now, but I'm sure you see how keeping your underclothes on keeps things from getting, shall we say, inconvenient?"
I thought about what he'd said, "Are there other rules we need to know about?"
"Probably, though, they usually wait until after a few weeks have passed before going over them, to let you get settled. There's really little opportunity for you violate any before then. In a way, you've probably set a record here, violating that rule." He shook his head a bit. "I'll send you a link to a list of the more important rules, so you can get a feeling for them and I'll talk to Mr. Hobson about moving up that rules chat with your year. But, back to Renee, and why I think she and I need to talk. Do you recall your earlier comment about her having issues with guys?"
"Oh." I responded. I really wish she'd tell me what the issue was.
Renee quietly said, "I'll be here."
"Fine, I'll post it to your calendar. Now, I suspect you both either have some practicing or studying to finish, so I'll let you go. Again, I'll remind you to ask for help when you need it. And, remember, if you have any problems on Monday, let me or another support staff, know."
We acknowledged his directions, bade him farewell, and headed off to our rooms.
Comments are greatly appreciated!
By: Annette MacGregor
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
Upon returning to our rooms, well, Renee's anyway, she turned, and gave me a hug. "Thank you, Dan."
"For what? I was the one being foolish, I guess."
"For helping me get through."
"But, I..." I wasn't sure what. She'd already told me she wasn't upset or angry with me. What could she have needed me there for? "What did I help you get through? I thought you were helping me."
"Meeting Dan." She sighed. "I'd been afraid I would have to see him, ever since I had to stop taking the classes. He's asked for meetings before, but I've put him off."
"Would you like me to come with you tomorrow?"
"You would?"
"Of course, I mean, we're friends aren't we? If I can help, I'd be glad to be there. When is it?"
She pulled out her PDA, "It's half an hour after lunch. Um, he scheduled almost two hours. Right up to rehearsal."
I pulled mine out, to make sure I was clear. "Hmmm, I was clear there earlier, now I've got a meeting with a Mr. Grant and a Mr. Overfield. I wonder what that's about?" Continuing aloud, but more to myself, "I wonder if I can get more info, on my PC than the PDA's showing?" Putting action to words, I went through the door into my room and logged into the desktop. "It's here too. Something about orientation for my specialty. Well, Dan did say... Let's see how serious they are." I pulled up the appointment, and, "Okay, there IS a decline option here that didn't show up on the PDA Screen." I clicked Decline and a window popped up for me to add a note. "Hmmm, there's a way to cc. I'd best CC Dan on this."
|
"I wonder how I'm supposed to sign this thing." I just put in Dan Humphrey and hit Send.
"There, that's gone." At which point, I realized Renee had followed me in. "I'll be there for you."
"Are you sure? I don't want to get you into trouble."
"If helping your friends gets you in trouble here, all the staff have been spinning a line since the day we got here. That means all that talk about student's needs coming first was just BS." I wondered a bit at what I'd just said. It's kinda strong, but I honestly think it has to be true. Realizing I'd stopped talking as I thought about this, I continued, "Anyway, if what Dan said earlier really is true, it'll be okay."
"But." She started, when my PDA chimed.
Looking down, I saw it was Dan, "I'd better answer this. It's Dan, and, he's probably calling to chew me out." I said, trying to make it sound like I was joking.
She nodded, as I answered the PDA.
"Hello, this is Sophia, may I help you?" I paused to listen. "Yes, she's right here." I listened some more, then turned to Renee, "He wants me to put this on speaker phone, so you can hear too."
"You can do that?"
"Apparently."
I followed Dan's directions, and suddenly we could both hear his voice, "That should have done it."
Renee giggled, and I said, "I think so. Can you hear us?"
"Yes, you don't have to hold it so close to the microphone. But, you do need to talk one at a time, and wait for me to respond. Apparently they opted for a cost saving measure here, so it's one way or the other." We could hear a little chuckle in his voice.
"Now, Sophia, why do you need to postpone the intro for your specialty training?"
"I'm going to be with Renee during her meeting with you."
"And, why do you think you should be there?"
"She asked me to."
"Renee, are you sure?"
She nodded.
"He can't see you. She's nodding, Dan." I put the PDA down, stood up, and put my arm around her. I could feel her shaking.
"Renee, really think about it. Do you want someone else there, when we talk about some of your past?"
"Yes, I wa-ant Dan - I mean Sophia, to know. I guess he - I mean she, needs to know some, so she doesn't jump to wrong conclusions again."
"Fair enough. Sophia, you did the right thing in supporting your study partner. You were also right to copy me on the message. You don't always have to, when interacting with your teachers. This time, it was the right thing to do. I'll clear it with your teachers, and arrange for them to set up another time. I don't think rescheduling Renee's session would be a good idea right now. Do either of you have any questions?"
Renee shook her head, so I responded for both of us. "We're good, Dan. See you tomorrow."
"See you then. Now relax - both of you, and Sophia, I'll send you a link you should look over before going to sleep tonight."
I was wondering what that was all about, when we heard a tone, and I figured that meant he'd hung up, so I hit the hang-up button on the PDA, turned, and gave Renee a big hug. "I'll be there for you, when you need me."
We spent a while talking about how I'd misunderstood her, and as a result, hurt her. I agreed that I would try to not make assumptions in the future. She laughed at my comment that I feared I'd not be able to promise to never assume though. I carefully avoided asking about what was in her past, maybe she'd have told me, but then maybe not. I felt like I'd bruised our relationship enough already.
Our chat seemed to have cleared the air between us, and we were able to settle down, work through our homework and prepare for our classes in the morning. As we were packing up, I recalled that I'd told Dan I'd think about who I was protecting.
Sighing, "I need to talk to Fran. Apparently, my refusal to mention I knew her background contributed to some of my issues with Becky."
"We could go over."
I glanced at the time, "If we're quick, I think it'll be okay. I don't want to break the curfew rule."
"No, we're apparently stretching things a little as it is."
We went over and knocked on Fran's door.
"Come in. Are you two talking now?"
"Now?" I played like I didn't know what she was referring to.
"What ever do you mean?" Renee continued.
"I mean, really. We always talk."
She led us into her room. "You both know what I was talking about. Before dinner and during; it was like you were two strangers."
"It was just a bit of a misunderstanding."
"Right. And, I'm the Queen of Sheba. It's obvious you're not going to tell me now; so what can I do for the two of you?"
"Seriously, it was the result of a misunderstanding, and with Dan's help, we've straightened THAT out," I responded.
"Okay, okay, I'll believe you. But, I'm sure that's not why you came over. What's up?"
I looked over at Renee, and she nodded. Taking a breath, "It's another misunderstanding that prompted me, no, us," I looked over at Renee and smiled, "to come over."
"Really?"
"Remember that extra trip I had to visit Dr. Bill, that that we talked about?"
"Yes."
"That was ‘cause two of the support people thought I wanted to actually be a girl, like you and Renee. I found out what they can and will do to help you and others like you."
"Why did they think you were transgendered?" Fran looked confused.
"I couldn't give them a good reason for why I was working so hard at this." I indicated how I was dressed.
"Oh." I could see light dawning on her face. "You were protecting your knowledge of me, weren't you?"
I nodded. "I said I'd not tell anyone."
"Oh, Sophia. I'm so sorry." She looked, I dunno, distracted isn't the right word. Then she continued, "Kate sent me a note earlier, telling me that all of the support staff were aware of my condition. I wonder if she thought you knew about me, and thought you were protecting me. That's probably it. I bet, she knew about your problem, and was telling me I should let you talk to the staff about it."
"That's up to you. I certainly don't want to talk about you behind your back."
"No, if they already know, there's no reason you can't tell them you know." She looked thoughtful. "That goes for you too, Renee. It never occurred to me that anyone might get into trouble because of my problem."
"Hey, we're your friends. And, Dan said I wasn't in trouble. So, nobody got into trouble."
"Uhuh. And, you're bringing this up, why?"
I looked at Renee, "Dan suggested that if I thought I was protecting someone, I should talk to that person, to be sure I was." I paused briefly, before continuing, "And, to learn that it's always okay to talk to the staff." Shaking my head, "I suspect, we're also supposed to trust our year mates, but he didn't come out and say that."
"Don't worry about talking about me with the staff, Sophia. Since they know, there's no reason you can't say you know. I appreciate your trying to protect me, but, I'm not ready to tell the others, yet."
"I understand, besides, what difference does it make? I mean, you're a girl. Why should they care, any more than I do?'
"Sophia, you're so nice." She was quiet a minute, "Though, that does bring up one issue I've worried about since the first mix-up day was announced. Do you think the others will guess my problem, when I pretend to be a boy on Monday?"
That wasn't a question I'd expected. "I assume you remember how."
She snorted, "Yeah, I spent a lot of time pretending. But, my worry is that I'll do too good a job, and they'll figure me out."
"Why not act like you do normally. You know, like Fran, when you're dressing like a guy." Then an issue occurred to me. "That's your hair isn't it?" At her nod, "You might go down to the stylist and see if they can suggest something that looks feminine while you pretend to be a guy." I looked over at Renee, "You could also clown it up, like Renee will try to do. Nobody would guess, no, you say ‘twig'. Nobody'd twig then, I don't think."
"I'll think about it. Thanks for the ideas."
"You co-ould take the boy lessons from Simon." Renee interjected.
"That's true," I continued, "If you did that, then by the next mix-up day, you'll have a good excuse for being good at pretending to be a boy. Even if you don't need a lot of classes."
Renee snorted, but also nodded agreement with a thoughtful look on her face.
"What's he like?"
"Personality, nothing like Kelly. He's really formal. Almost like what you see for a British ‘gentleman's gentleman' from the movies." I looked over at Renee again, and at her nod, "He also seems to really care about students. So, in that, he's like Kelly." Then, it hit me. "I know who he reminds me of. My mom had me watch some videos last year of an old BBC series about a detective ‘Lord Peter Wimsey' or something. But, he had a ‘gentleman's gentleman' named Bunter, and that's who Simon reminds me of."
"Hmmm. Maybe we can find one of those videos." Fran said. "It's something to think about. Maybe I'll talk to Kelly, to make sure she doesn't think it'll confuse me. And, to Kate."
Sitting on the settee, I felt, rather than saw Renee jump a little at the mention of Kate's name . 'What's the issue?'
I heard a chime, and looked around. Fran said, "It's my warning that it's almost curfew. You've only got a few minutes to get back across the hall."
We got up, "Thanks, Fran."
"No problem, and thanks, both of you for your suggestions. See you tomorrow."
We returned to our rooms, and got ready for bed. I took off the gaff, which was a relief, although it hadn't been THAT bad. I'd actually almost forgotten it was there, when I was busy, anyway. Getting into the nightgown was becoming commonplace, which, as I thought about it, was a little weird.
As I closed the door to my room, my PDA went off, with a note from Dan, and I remembered that he'd said he'd be sending me something to read before bed. "I'd best go see what Dan wanted me to read." What I really wanted to do was to sit down, and play. I'd not spent much time on the keyboard since I'd started this roller coaster, and it was beginning to show in how I felt.
"Mind if I look over your shoulder?"
"Nah, I'll use the PC then, as it'll be big enough for both of us to see."
His cover note said that the attached notes were things that were normally covered in a series of lessons that were given after we'd been there a month. Wondering why he was sending them now, I opened the attachment. It was titled ‘Interactions with Individuals that are not full time staff' and it discussed the issues of students in transition, and how we were supposed to sign and such. The gist being that if we had to communicate with someone we weren't sure was staff, it was best to use the mail feature's automatic signature feature which insured that they were presented with the right name.
"That's kinda strange, though, I guess it's to protect people that are transitioning."
"It's probably for people like you, too, Sophia."
The stress she put on the name reminded me of how I was dressed. "Good point. And, since Dan said it wasn't an issue this time, those two must be staff, and be aware of some of the strangeness."
"How..." she started.
"Remember, he just said this in passing there at the end?" She nodded. "Well, that tells me that my signing as Dan was a non-issue as far as they were concerned, and since I'm Sophia now, they must be aware of things." I shook my head. "I need to wind down some. Mind if I just play the piano a while?
She indicated she didn't mind, and headed for her room. I was just settling down on the bench, when she stopped and said, "Thanks for going with me tomorrow."
I was startled from my introspection, "What, Renee? Oh, of course I'll be there. Dan even agreed."
I stood up and stretched. "I guess that's it for today."
Renee agreed, and headed for her room. I decided that I really needed to unwind, and nothing was better than the piano for that. Walking over, I picked up the headphones and was about to sit down.
From her door, Renee asked, "Do you mind if I listen?"
"I guess not." I left the headphones unplugged, and settled down and started playing. At some point, she must have headed back to her bed, because, when I finally felt relaxed and stopped, she wasn't there any more.
-— Friday, July 16, 2004
Waking before the alarm, I felt more relaxed than I had in a few days. I really need to play more. Come to think of it, I should do a brief warm-up as well.
Changing quickly, I moved the chair back and started with some stretching, then worked through several exercises. I heard my alarm go off as I was finishing one series of moves. "Well, that felt good." I need to check with Shelly to see if there's a anywhere other than the gym to work out. My room's okay in a crunch, but far from ideal, especially with no mats. And, I can see how going to the gym in with bad weather might not be fun.
"Good morning; you're up early."
"Hi, Renee. It was a short night, but I slept well. I think I need to play more often."
"I hope so. Listening to you helped me relax."
"You still worried about this afternoon?"
She nodded, "But, with you there, I hope it won't be too bad."
"I'll be there! Though, I do need to clean up now."
Renee walked in wearing a robe over her nightgown. "How much of those exercises will I be learning?"
"It depends on your teacher. I think you'll start with something simple, and probably have a lot of practice at falling."
She smiled at the end. "Falling is that important?"
"You'll do a lot of it. Believe me. I remember one lesson, shortly after I got my brown belt... I was feeling pretty good about my skills. Sensei decided that I needed to learn that I wasn't done learning. I was down, almost as fast as I could get up." I shook my head ruefully. "I've not made THAT mistake again! After he finished dusting the mats with my body, we talked. Get this, he apologized to me. No, not for the match, but for inadequate training; he said it was his failure that had allowed me to be overconfident and not understand where I was in my growth."
"That's unusual."
"Not really, as I've come to understand. It seems to be something that really good teachers have in common. They feel that our failures are their fault. I saw that with my piano teacher in Naples. But, I saw it more in my Sensei's. Sensei Tanaka was the best. That's why I had to go back, and tell him I'd not be able to continue in his dojo when I accepted the appointment here."
We talked a few minutes about Judo. After a little while, I realized I'd not showered yet. "Oops. I still need to get my shower before dressing. We'd best get a move on.
We both went to our separate rooms, and got ready. She was ready before I was. I put it down to more practice. Yeah, like, she's had a lot more time at this girl stuff. I hope she's okay on Monday.
The morning was uneventful, and classes went smoothly as well. Renee seemed okay, I mean she didn't seem jumpier than normal or anything. I found myself wondering, several times, what Renee's issue was, or even if there were several. When we were alone, or maybe with one or two others, she seemed to open up. But, when we were in a crowd, she was always quiet.
After lunch, we headed off to Dan's office. His door was open when we arrived. I knocked anyway.
"Go on in," we heard from down the hall.
Looking in that direction, we could see Dan coming out of another room. Probably another shrink's, ‘cause Becky's is around here too, I think. We waited for him anyway. When he arrived, he directed us to take a seat while he pulled the door shut. As we walked over to the sofa, I reminded myself that they called them settees. We sat down in about the same position we had last time, though not trying to be so far apart. I made sure I could reach her, if she needed me.
"Sorry I was down the hall, but I needed to check something."
We talked about the school, and how we were getting along and such. It seemed a bit strange to have a session like this. Then, it hit me; he was trying to help Renee relax before talking about anything hard. This thought was confirmed a few minutes later, when he came out and asked Renee what she thought about Kate Mayhew. Renee completely clammed up.
"Yes, that was a trick question. We know how much she resembles the senior matron at the home."
Renee was actually shaking now.
"What does that have to do with it?" I interrupted.
"Nothing, and everything, I'm afraid" he responded. "She had a bad experience. Now, let Renee answer, okay?"
I nodded, but moved closer, and put my arm around her.
Dan started talking with Renee about the matron, and how she'd treated Renee and when it started and such. Initially, Renee had trouble answering his questions, and he'd have to ask her to repeat herself. But, after a while, she seemed to be able to answer easier. I was, I dunno, amazed isn't the right word, but really impressed at how he seemed to talk so evenly and quietly about this issue she was having so much trouble with. I mean, some of the things, she described, that she'd suffered as punishment were pretty bad. Heck, I dunno if Harry Potter had it any worse with the Dursleys. Oh, she had a normal dorm room apparently, but that's about all that was different. Several times, she let out little cries, and I hugged her tighter. But, as time went on, she seemed more comfortable talking. Dan never came out and just asked what caused the matron to treat her like this, though, he did ask a lot of questions around the issue. If I were to guess, it stemmed from her return to the institution from a foster home.
Eventually, Dan was talking more about how people can resemble others physically but be very different in person. He reached behind his chair, and pulled out a folder. "I've several photos here that I'd like you to look at." He pulled out two, and put them face up in front of us. "One of these is a respected teacher, and the other is a convicted criminal. Can you tell me which is which?"
I looked at the two. On first glance, I'd have picked the guy in the suit as the teacher, but then figured it might be a trick question, so I silently picked the guy in the jeans and T-shirt. Renee pointed at the T-shirt guy as well.
"Correct, this time. But, as these two photos, show, clothes and grooming do not make the man." It was again a man in a suit, and another in Jeans. "This time, the man in the suit is a respected doctor, while the man in jeans was a drug dealer. Take a look at the four pictures now."
We did, and really, there was nothing to tell the two men in suits apart or the two men in jeans. If he'd put either pair out, I'd have been guessing at random.
He then pulled out two more pictures; the ladies shown could have been twins. "One of these ladies is a nurse; the other is an alcoholic and unemployed. No, I'll not ask you to guess which."
Finally, he pulled out two more photos. One of them looked like Kate, no, they both did - a little. I heard Renee's breath catch, and she pointed at the one that only looked a little like Kate Mayhew. "Ma-matron." Was all she said.
"Yes, you picked it out straight away. Yet, there's a resemblance between her and Kate. I do agree to that. But, now, I want to ask you if you can see any differences?"
Renee settled down a little, but I could still feel how tense she was. "Matron never smiled."
"And, Kate's certainly smiling in the photo. Anything else?"
Renee went on to point out several other differences, but I thought her noticing the smile first was probably important.
Dan talked to her some more, then he pulled me back into the conversation. I was a little confused about what, if anything, had been accomplished by the session, besides getting Renee to see differences between Kate and her old Matron and getting her to talk about all those things. I mean, they were bad, but I couldn't see how they had anything to do with her problem with guys.
"I think that's enough for today, you've got rehearsal in just under an hour."
That's all? It'd felt like we'd taken a LOT longer than that.
"Thank you for being so open about things, Renee. We'll talk some more next time."
Next time? I was right, she must have more issues than just with the matron.
Renee nodded.
"If you're not up to rehearsal, let me know, and I'll make it good with Mrs. Russell. Otherwise, have a good time."
We took the long way back to our rooms, thinking that a short walk about the building in the sun might help calm her down. But, coming down the stairs, Renee suddenly asked if I'd play something for her on the grand in the parlor. Recalling her comment, this morning, about being relaxed by the music, and really looking forward to playing on that instrument, I agreed.
Entering the room, I could see that the grand had been moved over to the side, and a few chairs set up in its usual position. Maybe they use the room for small recitals. I wonder who'll be playing. Renee took one of the seats, and I opened the piano. Sitting down, I did a few quick exercises; both to relax me and my hands as well as to make sure things were right with the piano. It was a pleasure to run my fingers over the keys of the Steinway. It was as if they were begging to be played. I did notice a slight difference in sound, and looked around. Then, I realized the acoustics in the room were such that even this movement was enough to change how the instrument sounded. "Wow, just moving it makes a difference."
"What?"
"Oh, sorry. This room; the acoustics here seem to make the sound richer than when the instrument was over there where the chairs are. That's really neat."
"Richer?"
"Ummm, it's hard to describe using other terms, but, I guess it's like the notes sound fuller, and the over and under tones fit right and don't clash. Maybe sometime when they don't have it set up for something I can show you or maybe Mrs. Russell can explain it better. But, the piano sounds better over there ."
"Wow, you can hear that little difference?"
I started to say ‘of course', but realized she'd not have asked if it wasn't a surprise. "Yeah. But, it's a mixed blessing, for sure." As I thought about some of my early experiences in school music, I literally shuddered in remembrance.
"Are you okay, Sophia?"
"Sorry, yes, I was thinking about listening to some kids playing together at school a few years ago. They ..." I started, then thought better of what I'd started to say. "Well, I'll be nice and say they were trying."
She giggled.
"But, you wanted something. Anything in particular?"
"No, just play like you did last night. We've got a good half hour before we need to get to the auditorium for rehearsal.
A while later, "Sophia, we've got to go."
"What, oh, is it time already?" It was only then that I noticed a few people had come into the parlor as well. I accepted their congratulations on my playing.
Renee and I headed off to rehearsal with the other students, while the older folks went their way. One of the older guys, Ryan, I think he said his name was, asked me if I made up any pieces or played changing arrangements of pieces. We talked a bit about music, as we walked, and made tentative arrangements to get together again. As we arrived, I saw him make for the woodwind section where Ingrid sat. I made a mental note to ask her about him, later.
"Hi, Sophia, how are you getting along with the glockenspiel?"
"Pretty good, thanks, Andy."
Andy went on to show me a few of the more subtle aspects of playing. I'd assumed you just varied how hard you hit the center of the bars, but he showed me how there were times you struck to the side or toward the end of the bars to generate different effects, as well as double striking. "Now, most of that's never used, but, it's a good idea to know when those dead sounds are called for. From what I could hear, you've been doing a pretty good job striking. If I'd not heard you on that keyboard, I'd have wondered how you could pick it up so fast. Keep it up, and we'll have you playing REAL percussion by the end of the year."
"Real?" then I laughed. "You mean drums."
"Of course; all REAL percussionists are drummers first." I could see from his smile that he was teasing. As Mrs. Russell came in, he waited with me until she indicated which piece we'd start with, and then took his position.
I concentrated on my playing, and rehearsal finished before I was really ready for it to be over.
-— Saturday, July 17, 2004
"Sophia, can we talk a bit after the meal?" Pru asked.
"Sure," I said, wondering what was up.
As we went back to our rooms following breakfast, I invited Sally and Pru into my room. "Please come into my office."
They both laughed a little nervously, and looked at Renee, who was there too.
"Is this private?"
Sally replied, "No, I guess not, since Renee has to deal with it too."
I looked at her with a questioning expression on my face. "If this is going to take a little time, why don't we sit down?"
Pru and Sally took the settee, Renee the chair and I pulled over the chair from my computer desk. "So, what's up?"
"Sophia, no, it's Dan we need to ask for some help from."
That's strange. "I'm not sure I understand."
"Do we need to pretend to be guys?" asked Pru.
"What do we wear on Monday?" Sally continued.
"Ahhh, I'd say just grab a shirt, some chinos and sneakers, no TRAINERS from the guy's side of the closet."
"Umm, wear trainers to class? I know we don't have uniforms here, but I've not seen anyone wearing them to class yet."
I thought back to my brief experience with a UK school, and realized that she was right. A far cry from the US schools that didn't have uniforms — or so Kirk and my folks had said. "Sorry, probably not a good idea, but I think I saw some loafers in my closet and they'd be casual enough." Seeing a quizzical look on their face, "I'll go get a pair and show you." Getting up, I quickly walked to my closet, and on arrival realized there weren't any there. Coming back out, "I don't get it, they're practical, can be casual or dressy, and are great for traveling — no laces to tie and untie going through security! You just slip them on. In any case, just about any of the non dressy shoes on the guy's side should do."
"Oh, flats - NO, slipons. But, only old guys, like 20 or so, wear them," Pru responded.
I sighed. "How'll I ever keep this stuff straight? It's almost as if we speak a different language." They laughed with me on that comment. "One thing just occurred to me; if you look in the bedside table, there should be a special t-shirt that makes you look more like a guy above the waist.
"Yes, we know about that, but were worried about looking foolish."
"Is that really important? Or, do you want to really get into the guy thing or just get through the day?"
They looked at each other, as if the question had never occurred to them. Sally said, "Originally, I was going to just try to just get through, but your question made me think that maybe it's really supposed to be a learning experience."
I made a subconscious little laugh. "I took it that way. And, I also figured that there are some here, as Mr. Hobson mentioned, that are transitioning. I want to show my respect for what they've gone through, by understanding as well as I can. I did some checking around, and apparently there's no requirement to go through the classes I'm taking or even to take the event seriously. Dan said that some kids ham up the whole thing."
I could see them both getting a little thoughtful. "Would you help us pick out our outfits and make sure we don't muck up our hair?"
I looked at Renee, and at her slight nod, "I think I can help some. I guess I'm a bit of an expert, at being a guy that is."
They all laughed at this, then Pru joked back. "You could have fooled me, Sophia."
"You're suggesting guys don't have curls like this?" Sally tapped her curls as she said that.
I smiled, thinking her hair looked like the Sally from the ‘Peanuts' cartoon strip. I couldn't say that though. "I've seen a few guys sporting afros, but, they don't hang quite that way." If you wanted that effect, the style shop might be able to help, if you can get an appointment. I suspect you could hide your curls, too. Maybe a ball cap? No, I've not seen anyone wearing hats indoors. You could ask, though. They might let you get away with it. Or maybe you can just brush it differently."
Pru jumped in. "I can help there, if you want."
"We'll see, I don't want to think about it right now. I'll think about it."
They got up, preparing to leave, and I remembered they needed guy names. "Oh, yeah. One more thing, you'll have to pick out a guy name. And, you should put it in the computer so others know what to call you."
"Renee, did you pick one out yet?" queried Sally.
She nodded, and I responded. "She's doing it the easy way. She'll be Rene' after the French Mathematician!"
"Oh, that's sneaky. I wish I could a similar name, like that." Sally rejoined.
We talked a bit more, and I agreed to come over tomorrow, and help them each select an outfit that a guy might pick out. I thought that was nice of them, though, they could probably pick out an outfit that worked.
After they'd left, "That was nice of you, Dan."
"It's something I can do. Though, dressed the way I am, I'm kinda surprised they didn't ask Mark and Wayne."
"It's probably ‘cause you taught Pru Judo. That, and we all know you're nice."
After an uneventful morning and lunch, Renee and I were back in the room studying when I got a message.
|
"Now Wayne wants help." I said, shaking my head.
"You don't have to worry about Fran or Ingrid."
Smiling, "No, I hope Wayne's expectations aren't too high. He can't expect me to teach him all I've learned in the past week, in a few minutes."
"I don't think he is. Actually, I'm a bit surprised he asked you, instead of one of us."
"Maybe it's because he knows I'm really a guy, and that makes it easier."
"Good point. Are you going to answer him?"
I laughed then, "Duh; I'd better. Let's see," I thought about what we were currently studying, "we can break in a half hour, and I can see him before dinner." She nodded, and I sent Wayne a reply saying I'd be down in about a half hour."
We finished right on time. "I'll put the stuff away if you want to go help him now."
"Thanks. I'll see you to walk to dinner." I hooked my PDA into the slot in the back of the skirt and headed down to Wayne's room.
When I arrived he let me in, and we talked. I showed him where the ‘appliances' were and how to wear them. He was a bit reluctant to try the gaff, and I didn't blame him, considering the issues I'd had. Then, he asked about clothing, and as nervous as he seemed, I helped him pick out a simple outfit with slacks. He expressed surprise, and I replied. "Hey, they didn't say anything about dresses, just girls clothing." Wayne laughed and thanked me. Renee was just coming down the hall as we left the room, so the three of us walked to dinner together. A few in the year were already there, and the others arrived shortly afterward.
Dinner was, as usual, wonderful. Tonight we had roast beef, which I've always enjoyed. I was a bit surprised by the comments by the other kids that it was a bit unusual for an evening meal. Seems most of them were used to it as a big lunch on Sundays. I guess I'm glad they didn't follow tradition this time. I wonder if we'll be having big meals then, or if they'll keep the large meals later in the day.
As I was finishing, Tracy turned to me. "You seem to be adapting well, Sophia."
"I'm trying, ma'am."
"Tracy's fine. How do you feel about Monday?"
"Monday? What's the problem?"
"I mean with the mix-up?"
"Oh. I can't see how it'll be any different from today. I mean, I'm already dressed. I'll just have to look at the stuff in the back of the closet for the second half of the day."
She shook her head. "I suspect it'll be easier than that, as you'll be able to be Dan again.
"Huh?" What's she trying to say?
She looked at me with what I'd have called a concerned expression, had it been on mom's face "Nobody told you? It's simple, you've been presenting as Sophia more than Dan since you arrived here, and Mix-up day you have to present DIFFERENT."
I can't believe this... I go to all this trouble to learn how to be a girl, and now they want me to stop for a day? I don't get it.
She must have seen something, because she continued. "The rule is based on how you are presenting at the time the announcement is made. Surely spending half a day as Dan won't be that hard for you?"
I shook my head, trying to come to terms. "No, I guess not, but, it seems so strange."
She smiled, and patted my shoulder. "You'll be okay. If you have trouble, just contact one of the staff."
"No, I'll be okay. I'm just surprised is all."
"If you're bothered, have a chat with Dan. That's why he's there you know."
I nodded. "No, really, I will be okay." I was getting better. It's just one more thing to get through. I'd have to change to androgynous after rehearsal, anyway. I felt Renee squeeze my hand where it was in my lap under that table.
Tracy turned and answered a question from Sally, and by the time she looked back, I was centered again. "Thanks for telling me. I'd have hated to show up dressed wrong on Monday."
"You're welcome, Sophia. I'm surprised nobody thought to mention it to you before."
Following dinner, Renee and I went back to our rooms to do homework, instead of stopping at the common room. We'd finished most of it, and were sitting talking, when we heard a knock at the door. Opening it, I found Fran and Ingrid.
"What's up?"
"We were wondering if you two were busy."
I looked over my shoulder at Renee, who shook her head. "No, we were just talking about the week. Is something up?" Figuring that they probably wouldn't want to talk in the hall, I invited them in.
It turned out that they were worried about me, after Tracy's comment about me being Dan on Monday, and my suddenly getting quiet. I assured them that this wasn't the case, too much. It was more that I was surprised, and worried how it might affect what I was trying to learn. I also admitted that I was a little concerned about how Renee would react. Her honest surprise at this was more of a reassurance than her immediate denial that it would make any difference. I recalled our session, and other things Dan had told me.
After clearing that up, we chatted for another half hour or so before they returned to their rooms. Renee and I said goodnight, and I thanked her for her support earlier, to which she smiled and gave me a quick hug before darting back into her room.
Sleep was slow in coming, as I kept thinking about the week's events while lying in bed. I was coming to understand the benefit of a mixed up day, having lived the part so many days. But, I'm a guy. It doesn't make sense to make me dress as a guy for the experience. After all, I've had over a dozen years of practice there. I'd think the school would encourage me to keep on as Sophia, rather than revert to my normal self. I shrugged to myself, rolled over, and was reminded again of how I was dressed. This school sure is crazy.
Comments are greatly appreciated!
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
After making sure my floor was clear enough - I'd left my desk chair over by the settee from when Ingrid and Fran had visited - I did my Katas. It felt good to get really loosened up. Renee popped her head in, and we worked a little bit on her falling, and I showed her some stretches that would help with her flexibility and make some of the stuff she'd do later come easier.
Breakfast was quiet, after which the eight of us headed to the Common Room together. I need to see about a travel toothbrush if we're going to come here a lot, after meals... It's too much trouble to go up to my room and come back, but I also don't want to develop cavities like my Dad did. At least they put a toilet, no, they call it a loo, and sink closet in the room. Hmmm, they probably want to encourage the year to congregate here. We'll see. I did go in, rubbed my teeth down, and rinsed, anyway. Then, 'cause I didn't want them to think I was strange, I flushed the toilet anyway and washed my hands.
Coming out, I looked around. Mark had something going on the big TV, and Wayne, Fran and Ingrid were watching as well. Sally and Pru were off in a corner talking to Renee, so I headed over, hoping I wouldn't be interrupting.
"Hi, Sophia," Pru greeted me, effectively cutting off anything that might have been going on.
"Hi. You two trying to recruit Sally to our little exercise sessions?" I smiled, so they'd know I was teasing.
"After Pru's description, I was thinking about it," Sally admitted. "Do you think it's too late?"
"Nah, in my old dojo, kids were joining all the time, and it's not unusual to have students of many skill levels. It's actually a good thing, as it allows us to help each other. So, even if you wait a few months before joining, it'd be fine. I bet, if you started in a month, and work as hard as they do, by the end of a year or two, you'd all be pretty close in basic skills."
"Maybe. But, that's not really what we were talking about." Renee and Pru nodded in agreement.
"Sorry to interrupt. I'll head over and see what Mark's got going on the tube - no that's the TV."
"No. Please stay," Pru interposed.
"If you're sure?"
"Of course we are. How else do we get you to help us pick out our clothes for tomorrow? You'll still do it, won't you?"
Smiling, "Sure. But, you had me going there. I thought I was intruding on something." Not much going on now… "Do you want to take care of it now?"
They looked at each other then Sally said, "Why not? They'll probably be tied up for quite a while with that."
We took the stairs, and crossed the bridge to the dorm wing, then continued to our floor. At Pru's room, Renee took leave of us, and headed to our rooms while the three of us went on in.
"If I recall correctly, you were both looking for something on the formal side, say a tuxedo?"
"Da… Sophia!"
"Just kidding; do you want to have similar outfits? Renee and I could probably match as well, and end up like we were in uniforms. Though, that'd take some doing, as our complexions are different."
They realized I was joking, I think. In any event, we started with Sally. As her closet was a tad crowded for the three of us, Pru stood in the doorway. "Let's start at the top, and work down. If it's like my closet, there should be a wig or two in here so you can hide your curls, or you can try to do something different with your hair, but I bet the salon's already booked solid. Come to think of it, that's probably what a bunch of kids were doing with their PDAs right after Mr. Hobson made the announcement."
I noticed a questioning look on Sally's face, and turning, saw it echoed on Pru's. "When Mr. Hobson announced Mix-up Monday, a bunch of kids in the upper years pulled out their PDAs."
"You saw that?"
I nodded, "I didn't know why, but talking to you, it suddenly made sense. They were probably all trying to squeeze in appointments for their hair or something at the salon."
Both of them nodded. "Makes sense," Pru rejoined.
Sally brought things back to what started the slide off topic, "A wig? You're kidding, right?"
I shook my head, "Nah, if you recall, I didn't have this much hair when we first met." I pulled open the door, and, yep, there was a slide out with two heads. "I'm guessing you'd do something to hold your hair down, and then pull this over it. Maybe they have some tape that doesn't pull too much or something."
"I don't have to wear that, do I?"
"I don't think so. If you're worried, we can check with one of the older kids or you can always poke your support person. I know Dan's been really helpful for Renee and me."
"I think I'll just go with my hair, as is, for Monday and see how it goes. Maybe I'll give the wig a try next time. I'll have to think about it though."
"Okay. Then, we need a shirt. I always picked that out first; and then got some jeans or slacks that went with it in my old school." I guess most things go with jeans, come to think of it. That thought led to some more thoughts on what I meant by going together. Then, seeing that she'd made a selection, I filed things away to think about later.
She picked out a nice plaid. That would work well with some chinos. But then, most of what was in the wardrobe coordinated easily. I guess they figured most of us couldn't coordinate without the help. Hmmm, I'd not noticed that there wasn't much in the way of play clothes in my closet, either. That explains why folks are always so neat around here.
"A pair of Khaki's should work well. Then, you pick the belt and shoes."
"They match, don't they?" She sounded anxious as she asked.
"That's what my dad always said. Though, now that you mention it, an awful lot of kids never bothered. It's not any more work, so, why not make them match?" I paused to make sure they were following me, "Now, for the harder part; your socks should complement your shirt without drawing attention to your ankles. Based on what I've seen so far, that should be pretty easy." Sure enough, the drawer had a selection of mostly blacks and browns, though there were some navy and green socks too, in addition to the whites for exercising.
"Not white socks?"
"Maybe over here, but, I was always taught that white socks were for Phys Ed and such. I don't think I ever saw my dad in white socks except when he was playing tennis." I stopped, suddenly realizing that some kids DID wear white socks all the time. "I just remembered that I saw a lot of kids wearing white socks in my old school. So, maybe it's okay over here. I don't think I could do it though."
"Maybe you're right. I never paid it much attention, but I can't recall my dad doing it either."
I was a bit embarrassed at the next bit. It felt weird talking about boys' underwear with two girls. Putting it off, a little, I pulled open the drawer that, if it was set up like mine, probably had the undies; I was in luck, I think. "Umm, you have two choices for undies. One kind is loose, the other more like panties." I indicated them, "most kids I knew tended to go with those. Only the bigger kids wore the boxers." No, I'm NOT going to say why they claimed to be wearing them. Please don't ask! Luckily they both just nodded. "Last, is a t-shirt that goes under what you picked."
"What about...?" Her voice trailed off, but she pointed to her breasts.
"I don't think you're supposed to wear a bra. Wait, I can check that." I pulled out my PDA, to send Andy a note. He'd been so helpful earlier, and he'd probably know since his partner was a girl.
>> Andy, got a minute? >> |
"I'm asking Andy. He's helped me before, and Stacy's his study partner. So, he probably knows." They both nodded understanding.
<< Sure, mate. What's up? << |
>> I'm helping some in my year figure out what to wear for Monday. And, we had a question. >> |
<< The answer man at your service, though I'd have figured you knew enough about ladies wear by now. << |
I could almost hear some laughter in his response.
>> I'm helping a girl. >> |
<< Ahhh, right, your study partner's a girl. Let me guess. She wants to wear her bra. << |
>> How'd you guess? >> |
No reason to correct him, as I'll be able to pass the answer on to Renee later anyway.
<< It's the only bit of clothing that would be problematic. She can probably go ahead and wear it, if it doesn't show. To be honest, most wear a sports bra. The key being they don't want anything obviously girl showing when she's presenting as a guy. At least half of the older girls have to wear the compression shirts. But, since Renee's not that big, she might be able to get away with her bra, as long as you can't see the strap lines, but a sports bra under a t-shirt under a normal shirt should be more than enough.<< |
>> Thanks, Andy. >> |
<< Any time mate. Have fun. << |
"Okay, apparently it's one of those 'it all depends' things. He said you can wear a bra if it doesn't show, but that most girls end up wearing a sports bra under a t-shirt. The key is nothing showing." I pointed with my PDA, "He did say that some girls have to wear the compression top instead of a t-shirt to hide things."
"Oh, you mean that stiff t-shirt out there?" There was a bit of a question at the end.
"Probably, if it's like my stuff, it's in the drawer in the table by your bed."
They nodded, understanding.
"Do you mind if I try, and you correct anything I do wrong?"
"Umm. You sure?"
Sally giggled at my nervousness. "Yes, but you can wait out there, while I put on the undies. Then, I'll be as dressed as I was for swimming."
I visibly relaxed. Leaving the closet to her, "Okay then. I'll wait out here." Pru and I went and sat, she on the sofa, while I took the easy chair.
"I think she was joking with you earlier."
"Thanks, Pru. All I got was the picture that she'd forgotten I was a guy, and I was panicking."
She giggled at this, "No, we've not forgotten, otherwise we'd not have asked you to help. Though, you do make a nice girl."
Now, I knew she was jerking my chain, but I decided to not rise to the bait. "That's the idea. Though, you'd best not tell my family about this, after we graduate! I don't think they'd understand." No, as open as mom and dad were, I didn't think they'd understand why I was doing this. To be honest, I wasn't a hundred percent sure myself, but it felt like the right thing. To honor those that needed to change, and to better understand half the people in the world, yes, this is the right thing for me to be doing.
"No. And, I'll not be telling them, or my folks, about these Mix-up Mondays when I send my next letter, either. We'll probably learn something useful from them, but my little brother would give me real grief. At least there's enough other stuff I don't mind talking about."
Further discussion was interrupted by Sally emerging from her closet. She didn't look happy, and I think I could guess why, considering how she was more developed than anyone else in our year. Her first words confirmed it. "I have to wear the compression top, don't I?"
I looked at Pru, who looked at me. "Maybe; you can probably get away without it Monday. I'm sure they'll expect a few little mistakes." As I thought about what I'd just said, I realized it probably really was true. "At worst, they'll quietly tell you after breakfast, and ask you to go change before our first lesson."
"I was afraid you'd say that, so I may as well." She went over and pulled out what looked like a t-shirt from her bedside table drawer. Based on what I'd found in my drawer, I didn't want to ask if there was something else in there. No, not something I needed to think about; at least not yet.
I could see how tight the top was, and was glad I didn't have to wear one! It seemed a tad thicker around the waist, as well. Watching her struggle to get into it, Pru and I jumped up, to help.
"Not the most comfortable thing I've worn, but now that it's on, it's not too bad. I mean, it's no worse than a wet suit, and easier to move in." She swung her arms around, and bent over. Standing up again, "I'll not forget it's there though."
Wow, she's worn a wet suit! Awesome; I'll have to ask her about it later. "It might go on easier, without the normal t-shirt."
She nodded at this, and Pru offered, "I'll be glad to help if you want." Then, she looked at her slim frame, "I don't think I'll need it."
I reached out to her. "You look fine."
"For a bean pole, maybe. It's okay, really. Unless either of you start growing, I'll be able to reach things neither of you can." The last was said with a smile.
I didn't really feel like a shrimp, but, I'd had a big growth spurt last spring that took me to almost 160 centimeters. I liked that - it sounded bigger than 5 feet, 4 inches. Remembering how Kirk had grown during middle school, it gave me hope that I wasn't done yet. It wasn't that much fun being the shortest guy in the family. "Let's see how the rest goes together."
Sally quickly put on the rest, only struggling a little when the buttons opened the wrong way, and not having an issue with the zipper at all. She did muck up the belt, but that was minor.
"That's better than I did with the zipper. Their swapping the side threw me the first day."
"When the shirt buttons were on the wrong side, I twigged that the trouser zip would be, too."
"Just one thing, and it's not real important, the shirt line and trouser line are supposed to line up. And the buckle edge is right there with the other two. Oh, and now that I'm looking, the belt is on backwards. Guys loop it the other way. Only someone in the military would be upset by it being off, but if you're going to do it, you probably want to do it right. And, the shirt will probably fit better, if you tuck it the way it was designed to be tucked."
"She rearranged things, and told me, "You're right, it does seem to fit a little better."
"The back can be neater too, by putting pleats on the side, but that's another military thing. I guess hanging with marines rubbed off more than I thought."
They both laughed with me at that.
Once Sally was ready for the world, I decided to tease back a bit. "It feels a bit strange calling a bloke like you, Sally."
"Oh, yeah; you said we had to come up with names. How about, Roger?"
"Works for me, but, what about you? Will you remember it?"
"Yeah, it's the name my parents would have chosen had I been born a boy."
"Sounds good, shall we help Pru now?"
Going through it with Pru was faster, as we'd already discussed most everything when Sally was getting ready. Despite the comments, she had a bit more trouble with the buttons than Sally had, which made me feel a bit better.
"So, Roger, what's your mate's name?"
Sally looked at Pru. "Do you have something picked out? 'Cause if you don't, I think Harry, after the prince, would be great."
I tried to do a mock curtsey to Pru. "Command me, Your Majesty."
"That's Royal Highness to you, maiden." Then to Sally - or should I say, Roger. "These colonials, they just can't keep things straight." We all collapsed into laughs and giggles at that. They did explain my mistake though. Apparently only the queen is a "Majesty". I found it somewhat confusing, but resolved to do some research to figure it out. Surely it couldn't be that complex. Little did I know.
I reminded them to post their male names to the directory and headed back to my room. Walking down the hall with my heels clicking, I thought some more about things with the school that I'd need to not include in letters home, or even talk about after graduation. Not having kept real secrets from my parents before, this felt a little funny.
I quietly entered my room, and heard Renee practicing on her chanter thing, so, sitting on the settee, I decided to think about what Monday meant to me. I had thought that the purpose of the mix-up day was to help us learn a bit about how the other sex lived, and to help us realize that the person is not what they wear. Okay, maybe not quite in those terms, but that's where I ended up after thinking about it.
But, it seems so arbitrary to just say "dress like a girl" or "dress like a boy" or even dress like neither and both. And then to not provide any other real guidance than we can get from each other and the other students unless we explicitly ask; that doesn't make sense to me. It occurred to me that MAYBE they didn't provide more guidance to just to encourage us to work together. Could they be that devious? Then, recalling how unhappy Renee was, and come to think of it, how Fran had looked at having to dress as a guy, I wasn't sure that forcing this on us was a good thing. What would they do if one of us actually got sick at having to change how they were dressed?
The last combination of thoughts brought me back to Pru's comment about writing home. How much more will I run into that I can't talk about? Heck, technically I've slept with a girl. And, come to think of it, we almost share a room, being as that door's not been closed since the first time we opened it. How would I explain that? No, it's going to be far harder than I thought to be able to keep talking to my folks, without something coming out that might end up hurting some of the kids in the school.
"Lost in thought?" Renee had come in, while I was thinking.
"I guess." I smiled. "I was wondering how or even if, I should tell my folks about this or mix-up Monday or a bunch of things. I mean, I really can't see explaining this," I pointed at myself, "to my folks. They MIGHT understand, but..." my voice trailed off at the end.
She came over, and sat beside me on the settee. "There's enough other stuff going on. Is it important that you tell them about this?"
"Probably not, right now; I guess I'm just worried about letting something slip out after we graduate and it somehow coming back to haunt Fran or one of the other kids that are able to be themselves here."
"We've a long time to figure all of that out, you know. As long as you're careful in your letters, why worry now?"
Smiling, "You're right, you know. I don't need to." I don't know why, but her presence there on the settee felt good.
"Good, then, do you think we can go and eat?"
"Oh, is it that time already?"
At her nod, we were off.
Following the meal, "Renee, I'm going to try to grab Dan for a minute, do you mind?"
"No, let's go."
We walked over to the Year Four table, where Dan was talking to Stacy and Andy about something, so we stood back a bit, and waited so he could see us, but we were not listening in.
Seeing me, he turned, "You two may as well come over and join us."
Upon joining the three - the rest of year four had gone off - Dan started, "I was just letting Stacy, and as a result, Andy, know that you were having issues with the attire for tomorrow, Renee. I let June, the top girl, know earlier. This is so you have a few others keeping their eyes on you in the event you need help. I know Sophia will be there for you."
Renee just nodded, and I responded, "Thanks, Dan. It's on a sorta related matter that I wanted to talk to you."
"Really?"
I nodded, "Yesterday, Tracy told me that I had to dress as Dan for the first part of the day tomorrow, because, I'm mostly living as Sophia now. I didn't think this made sense."
"You're worried it may set you back on what you're attempting to do?"
"That's a big part of my worry, yes."
"Stacy, you and Andy can take off now. If something comes up that you need to know, I'll get in touch."
They nodded, and as they were departing, Andy said to me, "Buck up, mate. You'll be fine!"
I smiled my thanks.
"We should talk in my office, I think."
Is there a problem? I hope I didn't stick my foot in it, again.
"I want to check with Kelly and confirm a few things."
"Okay."
When we arrived there, he indicated we should have a seat on the settee, while he went over to his desk. "I'll be with you in just a minute, I want to call Kelly."
I could understand his calling Kelly, as she would be likely to know if taking a day as Dan would hurt things. I was sitting there wondering if that would be an issue, and still a bit worried about the effect of Dan on Renee, when I felt her hand grab mine and give me a quick squeeze. I looked over, and saw a hint of a smile on her face. I smiled back, and we just sat there, holding hands. I was surprised, but it was strangely comforting.
Dan's getting up from his desk pulled my attention back, "I have some news from Kelly."
That got my attention; I wondered what she had to say. Dan came over, and took the chair facing us.
"As it turns out, the answer could go two ways. If you were transgendered, and trying to transition now, the decision would be mine to make, though I'd take her input into consideration, as your wellbeing comes first. However, since you've indicated that you are a boy that is taking this step for other reasons, the question comes down to whether a day as Dan will harm you, or what you are learning. Kelly indicated that from her observation, your progress has been far faster than she'd expected so that a day as a boy would not likely interfere with you achieving your goal."
"So, I'm Dan, tomorrow."
"I didn't say that - yet. You did say that this was just part of what you were worried about. What was the rest?"
I glanced at Renee, took a breath. "I was worried about how Renee would react to Dan. She'll be having a hard enough day as it is."
"That's commendable. Renee, do you think having Dan around tomorrow, instead of Sophia, will make a difference?"
She shook her head. "I trust her - I mean him," came her quiet reply.
I squeezed her hand in thanks. "You'll tell me if you have a problem, even only a little bit?"
She nodded agreement.
"Then, I think that settles things. You were going to call me or any of the support staff if there was an issue, anyway, so, I see no reason why you can't be Dan tomorrow, and as Kelly indicated while we were talking, it wouldn't hurt you to give yourself a rest. It might help your perspective."
We thanked him for his help, and headed over to the dorm wing and our rooms.
Rehearsal, though longer than the ones we'd been through during the week seemed to go well. As it was ending, Mrs. Russell announced, "Stacy, Fran, Renee and Sophia, I need to speak to you all before you leave."
We put away our instruments, or in my case I put the hammers away, and joined her where she was waiting. I hoped it wasn't a problem, since three of us were first years.
"Now, before any of you start worrying, other than Stacy," she started.
"Don't tell me you need me to work with these three; I thought they were doing okay," Stacy broke in.
"No, you're right, they're doing fine." She turned back to us. "Renee and Fran, you've both been doing well, but as I said earlier, I'll be swapping you back and forth between first and second, until we figure out where to leave you, and I want you to switch tomorrow. You are both doing VERY well, and this is not intended, in any way, as criticism."
They looked at each other, and nodded. I mean, what else could they do? It would probably be a bit more work for them, as the parts were different. But, had I mucked up? No, she'd said we were all doing okay. A new instrument already?
"Don't look so worried, Sophia. I was just letting you know that you'll be having your first piano lesson right after dinner, in the parlour."
"Okay." I wondered a bit at this, but, shrugged it off as being nice to warn me in person. "I'll see you there."
She acknowledged my response, "Stacy, as you've guessed, you're just here to hear that Fran and Renee will be changing seats tomorrow so you're not surprised." Then she looked at us all. "Any questions?"
When none of us appeared to have any, she sent us off to get ready for dinner.
After yet another delicious meal, most of the years headed toward their common rooms. As we reached the entry hall, I said "'bye," and went into the music parlor, no, it's probably one of those Brit our things, parlour for my lesson. Seeing nobody there, I sat down at the piano, figuring I should warm up a bit. It was a pleasure just doing exercises on this instrument. After a few minutes, I was almost on autopilot, just letting things flow.
A sneeze startled me out of wherever I'd gone, and I came close to knocking over the bench as I sprang to my feet.
Behind me were Mrs. Russell and an older man.
"Sarah, surely you didn't have me come here to teach a child like this?" He started, but, another sneeze, which he covered with his hand, interrupted him.
"Sergei, before you come to a conclusion on whether she's worthy of your talents, do me the favor of listening."
He started to swell, as if to make a retort, but it was stopped by another sneeze. He ended up continuing, "My apologies, Sarah. For you, I make the exception today."
"You may as well. You're here after all, you old fraud."
"I blame it on getting bumped into coach on the flight back from Kiev." He managed to stifle a sneeze. "Allergies," he said with a sigh. "Always worse after a flight. Are you going to introduce me to this young lady? Or are we going to continue to stand here?"
I was dismayed, at first, then startled by their familiarity.
"Sophia, Sergei just arrived from Heathrow. He'll be evaluating where you are in your studies. Sergei, this is Sophia, a new student here at the school. Some of her previous teachers thought she had potential, and I tend to agree. Do you recall the test our teacher put us to?"
He nodded, "The single note detuned?"
"Yes, Sophia managed that better than either of us."
"I must see then." With that, he pulled a hammer out of his bag, and went over to the Steinway, and seemed to select one note at random.
I always thought the name hammer was a bit strange. I guess it does look a little like a small hammer, but with the hole in the head to fit over the tuning pegs, you'd never drive even a tack with it. I smiled a bit at the thought of someone trying.
He made a sound, which could have been a snort or something, but it got my attention. "Now, Miss. Your scales again, please. Tell me which note I adjusted."
I did a simple scale, and it was readily apparent which note he'd messed up. When I got that right, he pulled a piece of music from his bag and popped it in front of me. "Take a minute, then play this. Sarah says you know the routine."
I was nervous enough when I'd done it for Mrs. Russell. I was doubly so now, but at least I knew what to do. I scanned the piece, and saw he'd not randomly picked the note, as the one he'd detuned was one that figured prominently in the piece. Remembering what Mrs. Russell had said last time, I kept the piece in a major key, as I transposed it down, and played it, though a bit roughly.
I was about two thirds through the page, when I first heard, then felt an explosive sneeze from the teacher behind me. It threw me off, and as I started to go again, he stopped me.
"Sorry for ze sneeze, but also, this is enough." He offered me the hammer. "You can fix it, can you not?"
I took the hammer, "Maybe, but not very well, sir." I don't place his accent. With a name like that, who knows?. At least I can understand him.
"Ve shall see. You know it is only one string, which is it?"
I struck the key, while looking inside. Yeah, it's got three strings. And, I'll have trouble reaching them while playing it. Danged skirt. I slipped out of the shoes, and moved the bench a bit, figuring I could kneel on it.
"Explain what you do, before you do it." He barked.
"Sorry, sir. I need to see and reach the strings to know which you adjusted." Thinking hard, "If I were just tuning the piano, I'd hold two, strike the key, and use the hammer to adjust the note. I've only tried twice before, and never on such an instrument."
"Is good. I play note." He stopped to sneeze into his hand — I cringed a bit, and then figured he'd left his handkerchief somewhere - before striking the key slowly over and over.
I reached in quickly to dampen the strings. The dissonance made my back shiver. I quickly narrowed it down to one string, and attached the hammer. "Are you sure you want me to try to fix it?"
"Yes, ye...Aaaa-choo, yes," he said, recovering from another sneeze. I really hope it's allergies. No. Pay attention. It's flat, so I have to tighten the string. I gave the hammer a light tap with my other hand and he started hitting the key again… Nothing. I hit it harder, knowing I needed to get it to budge, but not wanting to overcorrect.
He let me struggle with trying to get it right for a few minutes or so. I'd think I had it, but when I let the three strings play together, I'd realize they were not together. I finally stepped back. "I'm sorry. I cannot tune it, now."
"Typical. You should have admitted earlier." He turned toward Mrs. Russell. "Surely."
"Wait, Sergei. Sophia, why did you say you couldn't tune it now?"
Looking at the floor, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Russell. I was getting frustrated, the three strings aren't tuned exactly the same, and I can't figure out what the tuner did to make them sound right to begin with."
"Child, what do you mean they're not tuned the same? You match two, three times, then mess it."
"No, sir. There at the end, I just listened to the other two strings, and that's when I realized they weren't the same."
"No, this cannot be. Hammer." He held his hand out to me, so I passed it to him. Without stopping to say thanks, he turned to the piano, and first checked the note. I saw him get it almost right; then he played some things with one of his ears toward the open sound box. "Hmmm" He got up and went over to a bag I'd not seen earlier, and pulled out a small black box. He did something to its face, and then started striking the key and the ones adjacent to it. He eventually stood up and turned back to us with what I can only describe as a bemused expression. "The child, she was right. The strings, they ARE off just a little. How you know, Sarah?"
"Sergei, we trust our students, here. If Sophia had not had a reason, we'd have trusted her to tell us. NOW are you satisfied that she's the student I said?"
He had another fit of coughing and sneezing, and I wondered if he really was just suffering from allergies.
"Perhaps, I think on this and get back to you. I go now home." With that, he put his black box and hammer in his bag and left.
He seems very strange. Well, I can put up with anyone, if I have to. I wondered if I'd alienated him by showing him up. I'd not meant to, but Mrs. Russell had asked. I wasn't sure if I should just head back to join my class or wait for her return. Knowing the entrance was just the other side of the entrance hall and I'd have to go past them if he'd not left yet, was enough to convince me to wait.
I turned and looked at the piano. I felt as if it had betrayed me somehow. I should have been able to manage to match one note; okay, getting the whole thing tuned individually and together was beyond me, but still, getting the one…
"Sophia, good. I'm glad you waited. You did VERY well." She pointed at some chairs, so I took one and waited for the "but".
"I'm sorry that Sergei was playing the eastern master so hard today."
My head jerked up at that. "P-playing?"
She smiled. "With a name like Sergei, he figures it's expected, and he's managed to convince quite a few that his English is broken." She shook her head. "Don't let him fool you, we grew up in the same area and went to school together. Just be yourself, be confident in what you can do and tell him when you don't understand or are unable to do something. You impressed him by recognizing the slight variation in the strings by ear alone. I suspect he'd have heard himself, it if he'd not had a head full of cold, or whatever."
"You mean he'll teach me?"
"When he's available, yes; at least for now. He really IS a good teacher."
We talked a little more, and then a thought occurred to me. "Umm. He knows about the school, doesn't he?"
She gave me a strange look, "What do you mean, dear?"
"That I'm really a boy?"
"I see what you mean. No, now that you mention it, We'll have to see what happens. I'll make a note to make sure he's only here when you're Sophia. Will that do, at least for now?"
I nodded, "Yes, Mrs. Russell."
"You're a good kid, Sophia. And, I'm sure that you and Sergei will get along fine." She stood then, "Now run along and join your mates.
We left the parlour, and she took the stairs while I crossed the entry and headed for the common room. So, I'll HAVE to be Sophia, at least some of the time, after I've learned as much as I can. I guess that's not any worse than doing it now. As I walked, I wondered if Renee and the others would still be there…
Sure enough, most of them were there. Mark saw me come in and called out. "Sophia, do we have to wear skirts?"
Deciding he was probably joking, I tried to get into it. "Why don't you ask our fearless leader?" I pointed to Ingrid.
She shook her head. "Don't ask me, I just work here. Besides, I don't have an option for a skirt tomorrow, nor did I see any kilts," the last with a smile on her face.
"Mark, I think the rule for Monday is anything on the girl's side of the closet. I just have to wear skirts for the class I'm taking." I said, trying to honestly answer his question. "You were probably told about the special aids in the bedside table." He looked at me blankly until I pointed at my chest. Then, he got what I only describe as an "evil gleam" in his eyes. I wonder what he's up to now.
Discussion went on about other things for a while. After a bit, Renee and I decided to head for our rooms and go over our lessons one last time before bed.
Comments are greatly appreciated!
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
It almost felt funny taking off the forms as I got ready for the day. I kept expecting them to be there. Could I have gotten used to them so quickly? I almost started worrying about who I was. My balance was off a little as I started my kata, until I recalled the issue I'd had the previous week. I knelt down centered and grounded myself. A few minutes later, I felt ready to start again and was pleased to find things flowing smoothly again.
Getting dressed was no big deal, though my fingers wanted to button the shirt the wrong way at first. I heard movement from Renee's room, so I tapped the door frame as I stuck my head in. "You okay?"
"I could use some help, please." Her voice sounded pretty shaky to me.
"What's up?"
"I-I don't know if I can do this." She was standing in the middle of the room, dressed in the outfit we'd picked out. I could see her shaking.
"Do I need to call Dan?"
"No-Not yet." Then, she closed the distance separating us, and grabbed me. "I'm scared I'll fall apart, out there."
I reminded her I'd be with her the whole day. It was a relief to see and feel her settle down. "You'd best wash up; you probably don't want the others seeing you looking like this at breakfast."
I'm not sure what I was expecting, but her giggle was not it.
"Wash up." She was laughing harder now.
"What'd I say? Don't you wash faces?"
"I guess you could, but we usually wash up dishes and wash our faces." She managed to say.
So much is the same, and different at the same time. I wonder if I'll ever get it all down.
The short laugh took care of most of her remaining jitters. She ran into her en-suite and took care of things. As we walked down the hall toward the stairs I saw what had to be Wayne, no, I checked, Alice, and called out, "Alice, wait."
She turned. "Hi, D-an and Re-ne'."
We walked on the rest of the way in silence. I offered Alice my arm, for balance, going down the main stairs. She probably didn't need it; her heels were maybe a half inch, but I figured I could pretend to be a gentleman.
"Tha-anks, D-an."
"Any time. I remember what walking in heels for the first time was like. Going down stairs was the hardest part." Well, going down the stairs was the hardest part for my sister. I can remember the time she told me I'd have troubles too if I were wearing heels; when I laughed at her one time. Okay, I'm the little brother. Little brothers are supposed to laugh when their sisters have a heel catch on the stairs! Anyway, I'd best not make a point of mentioning that I'd found it no more difficult than my socks on a wooden staircase. Hmmm. Maybe it's not that heels on the stairs are NOT not difficult. Maybe I'm just lucky on my balance. Something to think about...
We were just getting ready to turn to follow the hall toward the cafeteria when, "Hey, wait up mates," Mark called from the top of the stairs. He came running down, holding his shoes in one hand and PDA in the other. I stifled a laugh at how mismatched his outfit was.
"Quite the picture, Claire. I don't think you're supposed to wear those leather things on your hands."
"Yeah, but this was faster."
I was looking at him more carefully, thinking he'd decided to skip the forms. Then, when he turned to grab the rail while he slipped the shoes on, I saw it. I couldn't believe it. "What's with the hump, mate?"
He spun around, as if trying to look at his shoulders, "Hump? What hump?"
He did it so well; I immediately recognized who he was mimicking. "I thought Igor was a guy."
"'Course, I'm his sister, Claire."
"I hope you don't catch it for the gag, mate."
"Hey, they left them there to be used, and didn't leave rules on their use."
We all just shook our heads at his silliness, and hoped he wouldn't get into too much trouble. I do wonder how he managed to get it to stay there though.
When we arrived at our table, Keith and the other four were already there. "You doing okay, Dan?" queried Keith.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"And, Rene'?"
"She's okay, now, but was a bit shaky earlier." I realized she was doing better after seeing Mark's antics. "I think Claire's clowning actually helped." It's true, and maybe it'll help him stay out of trouble.
"Claire." He turned and looked at her more carefully. It was easy to see when he noticed the hump, as he sighed before asking, "What's with the hump?"
Hamming it up, Mark turned around in his seat, trying to see his shoulders. "Hump, what hump?"
"I see. Let's eat then." As he sat down, I saw him pull out his PDA and key something.
I kept glancing over at the year four table, trying to figure out which of the ladies was Brenda, but I couldn't tell. Danged, but, they must have rearranged themselves. He must be one of the two with backs to us. I can't even pick him out by his face. I may have to wait until rehearsal to find out. I'd thought I'd be able to spot him right away, but no way. I tried looking at the "guys" at the table, figuring that there was no way a cute girl like Stacy could pull off guy so well, but was stymied there, too.
At the end of breakfast, Claire's PDA chimed, and after he, No, SHE, I need to remember to use the right pronouns, even if SHE isn't being serious, looked up, "My fan club demands my presence, so you'll have to go to lessons on your own." She bowed, as he backed away from us.
The seven of us headed out, and I saw Tracy waiting for him... Hope SHE's okay.
About an hour into the morning, Claire rejoined us, still with the mismatched clothes, but the hump was gone. She was also a little quieter than normal. Just before Lunch, I stopped her, "You okay, mate?"
"Yeah, thanks. Just have a lot of things to think about."
The common room after lunch was quieter than normal. I could see Wayne, no Alice, talking with Harry and Roger. She also seemed to be talking, not just listening. Maybe she's been having some special lessons, like my girl lessons. Now that I think about it, her stutter wasn't so bad this morning in lessons.
Rene' seemed to be dealing with things, but I wasn't sure, so I suggested we head off to rehearsal a few minutes early.
As we made our way down the hall, she said quietly, "Thanks, some quiet time will help."
Upon our arrival, she went directly to her seat. I returned to my station at the glockenspiel and worked on a few bits. The rest of the kids came in over the next fifteen minutes.
I still wasn't sure who was who. In Spanish, the one class that spanned years; I came to realize that most of the older kids took this dress up bit really seriously. Maybe I'm not as unusual as they let me believe; in wanting to get it right. Some, mostly from year two didn't seem as serious. I don't mean they clowned much like Mark. More, they just wore the clothes like they'd wear any others. I guess that actually makes sense. After all, it really is just clothes. Nobody I could see, outside our year, looked the least bit uncomfortable or self conscious dressed like this. Most were recognizable, but a few were like different people and I only got the connection by where they sat. I knew Andy was supposed to be Brenda, but I'd not been able to figure out who he was at the year four table. Stacy was another that just didn't make sense. It was one of two pairs though. Well, they'd be here soon enough.
Then two older kids came in. Something about the guy looked familiar, but I had no clue about the girl on his arm. No, you're kidding. THAT's Andy? It's a good thing Kirk isn't here. I wouldn't call Brenda "pretty", but, Kirk might have. She looks like the kind of girl Kirk used to bring home when he had dates. That brought a smile to my lips, thinking about how surprised Kirk would be to find out Andy's "surprise".
Wiping the smile off my face, I greeted Andy.No, it's Brenda! "Hi, Brenda. You look good."
"Thanks, Dan. This morning, I wasn't sure who I'd be seeing at breakfast."
I nodded. "Apparently my dressing last week made me NOT mix-up for the first part of the day." Then, a thought hit me. We use male names in male mode, and girl's names in female mode. What are we supposed to use when trying to be androgynous? Before I had a chance to ask, the guy that Brenda had come in with waved his violin bow, and signaled that we should get to our places to warm up. That's obviously Marcus, which explained why he looked familiar. Danged but they both do this so well. They were both so natural presenting as the opposite sex. Sighing, I wondered if I'd ever get to where I could be that comfortable being a girl. I'll just have to do my best.
When rehearsal was over, with only a few sneezes, I took the opportunity to ask Andy, No, it's BRENDA when he's like this, about the name when in androgynous mode.
"Brenda, you got a minute?"
"For you, handsome, sure."
I'm sure I turned ten shades of red, but I bulled forward. "When we get changed for the remainder of the day, what name do we use?"
Brenda gave an expressive sigh. "And here I was thinking you wanted a date."
Trying to recover, "I figure Marcus would have something to say about that; though, my older brother would probably like to meet you." Seeing Brenda wince a little at that made me feel a little better. "But, seriously, what do we call folks when we're all being androgynous?"
"Okay, Dan, enough messing around on my part. That's actually a good question. Most folks go by one or the other of the names they normally use. If you have a preference, you can tell folks by either wearing something that would go with what you have on now, or something that doesn't. If you match, folks should call you Dan, otherwise you'll be Sophia." He paused a minute then, as if thinking. "If anyone is normally trying to live neither male nor female, they can indicate that in the system, and it'll provide them another option for naming on mix-up day, if they don't want to use their normal name when dressing as a male or female."
I thought about that. "That almost makes sense. Are you sure that's all there is to it?"
"Well, the other way is to just tell folks. Unless you tell folks, they'll call you whatever they normally call you. In my case, you'd probably call me Andy. Your study partner will be Renee. You, having spent more time as Sophia than Dan, had better tell your mates what you want them to call you, or they'll be confused."
"So, I can stay Dan for the rest of the day?"
"Yes, as long as you wear the androgynous clothing."
That gave me a bit to think about, as we went back to the dorm wing to change for dinner and the evening. I was telling Renee how Brenda looked like the kind of girl my brother had dated last year.
"He'd get a surprise if he did go out with Brenda, though."
"Yeah. You know, some of the kids do this mix-up transforming really well."
"I noticed. You and Fran, I mean Felix, were awesome."
"That's probably because we've both had a lot of practice at being boys. If I'd needed to be Sophia today, I'd have been just as awkward as any of the others in our year."
She laughed. "No, you do Sophia almost as well as Andy does Brenda."
I stopped short, "No, now you're joshing me. There's no way I do it that well."
She looked at me and shook her head, "Okay, maybe not that well, but, you're obviously doing okay."
I scrunched my brow and gave her a questioning look.
"You said you had an external guy here testing you on the piano. If the staff hadn't thought you were enough like a girl to pass, do you think they'd have let you test while being Sophia. I bet you have to do all your lessons, with him, as Sophia too."
I sighed, "Yeah. Guess this is more complicated than I'd thought at first. They postponed Mix-up Day the first time due to those outside visitors."
We were quiet as we went the rest of the way to our rooms. I wonder what I've gotten myself into. Perhaps it's a good thing I don't have that much time for introspection.
After we'd changed, we headed over to the main building for dinner. Renee'd selected some of the frilliest of the stuff from the back of the closet. I guessed she was trying to distance herself as much as possible from the guy stuff earlier in the day. She also looked more comfortable. Me, it was just clothing, and now that I thought about it, while my shirt buttoned on the guy side, it was just a tad silkier than what I'd been wearing earlier in the day. It made me think a bit about what made for androgynous clothing as opposed to male or female. Skirts were obviously out, but what else?
Dinner was uneventful, and everyone seemed to be more or less their normal self. Wayne did seem to be even quieter than normal, if that's possible, and Mark still seemed to be lost in thought much of the time.
Following the meal, Renee and I headed to our rooms to get through our assignments and do a little extra practicing.
Standing up to stretch, Renee said, "I think we're ready for lessons tomorrow. You know, I never studied so much at my old school. I mean, the lessons weren't all that hard, but still, if I ever spent more than a half hour at lessons, that was a lot. And, while the work seems harder with the teachers, there's so much more in a lesson. I don't know, but I seem to be picking it up so much faster."
"I think it's our working things out together. I used to do a lot of work to get ready for classes. From something my mom said, I think it's that by explaining things to each other, we learn it better. It's sorta like the Montessori school I went to in Italy. To listen to my parents, they don't actually teach the kids there, but let them learn from each other. Whatever it was, I guess it worked. I made it here." I was also standing now. "You know, I bet this is why they said we would likely pass our tests early."
"Tests?"
"Those tests we take after a few years. A somethings."
"Oh, A-Levels. You may have a point. If we're learning more material, faster, we should be able to sit for our GCSEs and A-Levels sooner."
We went to our practicing. I used my headphones, as she was in her room with her horn. Sometime after she finished, she came in to remind me I should get some sleep. Laughing, I got up. "That felt good. Thanks for interrupting me. I have to get up a little early in the morning." I scratched my itchy nose.
"Exercise?"
"No. I need to put the forms back on."
She smiled at that. "Why not do it tonight?"
"I'm supposed to leave the chest clear a day, so getting up a little early does the job. I don't want them loose, if a judo session gets added."
"No, I don't think he'd like you to be unprepared."
We said good-night and got ready for bed. After getting into bed, I lay there a while, thinking about the events of the past day and week.. There was something bugging me, but I couldn't quite think of it. I drifted in and out of sleep. Then, it hit me. Sitting straight up in bed, I cried "NO". It can't be. They SAID it was only until graduation. But, if I'm taking piano lessons as Sophia from now on, I'll not be able to go anywhere with my piano, except as Sophia. How can I go home, if I have to be Sophia from now on?
My mind continued rushing from point to point. It was some time before I realized someone was beside me and holding me.
"Dan, what is it? You yelled, and you've been sitting here rocking and crying."
I worked hard, and at least partially pulled myself together. "Sorry," I sniffed out. "I've not acted like this since Karen moved out."
"Who?"
Her question helped me remember where I was even more. I took some deep breaths and shook my head. "My sister. She moved out a few years ago; when I was a little kid. I missed her a lot." I gulped out.
"Okay, what's wrong?" she asked again.
"I think I had a horrible dream." I started, then felt myself tearing up again and fought to stop it. Guys don't CRY! I took another deep breath. It WAS a dream! Then, I realized she was still waiting for me. "I had a nightmare that the school was actually kidnapping us all and we'd never see our families again."
"Oh, I'm sorry. But, you know you'll see them again after we graduate."
"I guess I just miss them more than I thought," I said through a sniff.
Renee handed me a tissue. "Crying always makes my nose run."
It was then that I realized my nose was runny, and I'd been sniffing for a while.
"Thanks." I mumbled, as I blew my nose. She was holding the waste basket and the tissue box for me.
"I'm really sorry I woke you."
"It's okay. It's nice being able to help you for a change. You helped me get through the day." She was quiet then, for a minute.
She'll probably ask about the dream. I wondered about it. The details that must have been there, but they seemed to be out of reach. I was asleep, wasn't I? All I could remember was the conclusion that had awakened me.
"What was in the dream?"
There it was. "I don't remember it much, any more. I think I fell asleep thinking about maybe having to be Sophia for the rest of my piano lessons, and wondering if I could, and if I did, what that'd mean. All I remember of the dream was that we'd never get to see our families again."
When she didn't respond immediately, I realized what I'd said and how it might affect her. "Oh, I'm sorry, Renee."
"It's okay. Besides, you'll get to see them after we graduate. I bet the school has some fancy ceremony."
"You're probably right about the ceremony. But, what about Fran, and the other kids like her? How will they be able to go home?"
"I'm sure they will be. We can always ask Dan about it, if you're really still worried."
"No. Not yet, anyway. I want to think this through some more. Something's not adding up."
"All right. But, not now-"
"Yes, mother!" I responded, which got us both laughing a little.
She gave a big sigh. "Go, play me something. I'll not leave until you do."
"Okay, okay." I realized she was distracting me, but, that's probably a good idea. Whatever was bugging me wouldn't come now. Maybe some playing, and then sleeping on it would help it come clear.
I slipped out of the other side of the bed, and padded over to the keyboard. I just let my fingers start; to roam on the keys. It started out kinda sad, but, my mood lightened quickly, and I shifted to "Piano Man" by Billy Joel.
When I finished, I realized Renee'd come over. :"What was that?"
"Huh." She doesn't know "Piano Man"? How? "Umm. That was 'Piano Man'. Didn't you recognize it?"
"I don't think I've ever heard it before."
I was shocked. How could anyone NOT know Billy Joel's most famous piece? "Don't you know 'Billy Joel'?"
She shook her head. "I don't think so. What else did he do?"
"All sorts of things, here's 'The Entertainer'."
I played the first bit.
She shook her head. "I thought 'The Entertainer' was for that movie, oh yeah, 'The Sting'."
I thought a minute. Wait, wasn't that the movie about those crooks pulling a trick on another crook? I was about to say no, when I remembered there WAS a song called 'The Entertainer' that was in the movie.
"Different song, same title. That one's by Scott Joplin, and goes like this..." I played the first bit.
"Yeah, that's it. I don't know the other one though."
"Did you like it?"
"It was interesting. That's why I asked."
Puffing myself up, "I'll just have to fix this shortcoming in your education, young lady." I was fighting to keep a straight face as I said that, but a sneeze caused me to lose it and I found myself laughing.
"Not tonight, well this morning, though. Let's get some sleep."
I agreed, and she returned to her room as I climbed back into bed.
-- Tuesday, July 20, 2004
I must have fallen asleep, because then next thing I knew was my alarm ringing.
I had to put myself back together again, as Sophia, so my morning Katas were cut short. That'd not be a big problem, as skipping wasn't going to be a regular thing. As I was moving around, I heard Renee moving in her room, and smiled in memory of her help during the night. I called out, "Good morning."
Her reply was muffled, but that didn't matter. As I was holding the forms in place, I thought some more about my dream of the night before. Things still didn't add up, but otherwise things were going fine, so I decided to shelve the problem for a bit.
The morning classes - I do have to remember to call them lessons - were fairly typical. I'd noticed that there was no set daily schedule. Sometimes all eight of us would be together; sometimes we'd go to different rooms, and in the Spanish lessons we had kids from other years mixed in. With these small classes there no way anyone can get away with not preparing. That was mostly a relief. Perhaps I'd not be accused of being a "Hermione Granger" for always being the first to have my hand up to answer.
In many ways, the day was a blur; not that I didn't pay attention; I was just distracted thinking about what I was doing, what I'd dreamed the night before, and life. I was just having difficulty focusing for very long. Renee'd interrupted me several times as I was going in the wrong direction to a lesson. At least nobody else had noticed.
By the time dinner was over, I noticed that my head was hurting. Figuring it was due to my short nights recently, I told the others I'd be getting to bed early, as they'd scheduled Judo first thing tomorrow and I was very tired. Renee followed me back to our rooms and asked if I was okay.
"I think I'm just tired."
"You sure? You've been quieter than normal, today."
Grabbing a tissue, "I guess I'm allergic to something in the air."
"Are you sure?"
"No, how would I? I've only lived here in England a few months. But, what else could it be?" I tossed my tissue away. "Anyway, I'm really tired. Do you mind if we cut our studies short tonight? We're up a little early for Judo."
"That's okay. Not that much work for tomorrow."
We put a half hour in, and I found myself needing to stretch more than usual after working. "I really need to be more regular in my exercises. I'm getting stiff just sitting here."
Renee looked at me, a little concerned, but didn't say anything.
Getting ready for bed, I felt really stiff and tired, and wondered what was making my nose run. I've not been anywhere new this week...
-- Wednesday, July 21, 2004
It was another fitful night, what with my dreams and all. I woke up feeling stiffer than when I'd gone to bed the night before, and moving seemed harder than normal. My nose still seemed to be running. I can't remember the last time I got sick. I got up, and took care of my morning ablutions; at least I think I did. I found myself standing in the bathroom, and the wash cloth was hanging on the rail. Yes, it's wet. I checked it. Apparently I'd gotten there on auto pilot...
Best get a move on. We're seeing Sensei again this morning. I'd been both looking forward to it and dreading it since Monday night. Not sleeping well would slow my reactions and I figured Sensei'd notice. He'd had me talking to docs before, and I figured he would again if HE thought I needed it. I really didn't want Dan asking pointed questions, at least until I worked things out on my own. And, this head cold, yeah, I was admitting that was what it was now. Nothing to do but my best.
Moving a little stiffly, I got ready and started my morning exercises. I couldn't do some of the more difficult ones, as my balance seemed off and I was feeling a bit stiff. So, I ended up cutting things short. Wondering at this, but feeling less stiff, even though I was still a bit achy, I got my shower. The hot water felt good; though I'm not sure if the moist air was helping or hurting my breathing. With a start, I realized I'd been zoning out and was glad I had a few extra minutes from my shortened warm-up. I got out, and put myself together. At one point, I was thinking to my self that all the extra effort I had to put into putting Sophia together was probably a good thing, as it gave me less time to try to think about the future.
I was just finishing up when Renee popped her head through the door. "You're ready, good. Let's get to breckie."
Remembering Judo, "You remembered to arrange for a light meal, didn't you?" I wondered if I'd manage to get through even what I'd ordered.
"Of course. I wonder what we'll do this morning?"
I tried to think, but felt sluggish. "Probably review falling, to start with."
She nodded. "So, like any other subject, we recap a lot?"
"Pretty much. At least until the muscles can remember for you."
"Oh, like playing an instrument."
"Huh." I obviously wasn't tracking that well, because normally I'd have realized what she meant.
"You know, how my fingers remember how to play the notes when I see them, without thinking about."
"Uh, right. You played before."
"Are you alright, Sophia?" There was concern in her voice.
"I think so." Then I spoiled it by sniffing the mucus back in.
"You have a cold, don't you?"
"I don't know. Maybe, but, I'll be fine."
"You sure?" The concern was obvious even to me at this point.
"Yeah. I never really get sick, so this'll be gone in a day or so." I tried to minimize things. But, I really didn't ever get sick.
"If you're sure..." Her voice trailed off, and I nodded acknowledgement.
In a brief burst of clarity, I knew I wasn't ready to talk to anyone about my thoughts about life after graduation, though, come to think of it, they'd probably not bother her as much as most of us. Luckily we arrived at the dining hall then so we could go sit down. Pru and Sally delivered food, and Dan didn't say much to us. Perhaps he was easing off after his session with Renee yesterday. I managed to get most of my meal down, but my stomach wasn't feeling all that good. Pru, Renee and I headed off to Judo together, and I tried to look like I was totally with it, to avoid any questions.
We met Shelly, as we arrived, and all went and changed into our gis. Sensei was waiting for us, and we all bowed before taking kneeling positions when he indicated we should.
"We will start today by recapping falling from last session. Sophia and Shelly, you will swap partners for now. Any questions?" When there were none, he sent us to different areas on the mats to work.
I tried to be clear in talking with Renee, but I'm sure I wasn't up to normal. A few minutes after we started, Sensei came over, and had Renee join Shelly, and had me come with him.
"You are not feeling well."
"I'm okay, Sensei."
"I wasn't asking you a question, Sophia. You are not feeling well. Come, let us see where you are." He directed me to an area on the mat. I feared I'd had it now.
He started with some slow moves and I was able to counter where I should. But once he moved to a little faster speed, that I should have been able to handle with ease, I found myself reacting just a little slow.
"Stop." He indicated that I should kneel. He knelt opposite me. "Are you at your peak ability now?"
"No, Sensei."
"If Renee had fallen wrong, would you have been able to break her fall?"
I paused at this, suddenly focusing and realizing what he was saying. "No, Sensei."
"What should you have done when I directed you to work with Renee?"
I thought a moment, and "I should have indicated to you that I was not at my best."
"Why?"
"This would have allowed you to choose to either not have me do it, or to provide closer supervision."
"It is good you added the later, because that is what I did."
I must have reacted somehow, because he then continued, "To a trained observer, it was readily apparent that you were not moving normally when arrived. The obvious deduction was that you were fighting some cold or had been injured."
I nodded in response here. In my feeling of heightened awareness, this was obvious to me now.
"You will stop by the school hospital before going on to your next class."
Recognizing a direction, when I heard it, "Yes, Sensei." Why do I need to go to a hospital? Isn't Dr. Bill good enough?
Apparently he saw my confusion, which isn't surprising. "You'll see Dr. Bill, or his nurse if he's not there. Now, come, we will observe the others, and you will give me your observations on all three."
The next ten minutes, I described how stiff Renee seemed, and how much more comfortable Pru was getting, even when she worked with Renee instead of Shelly. I also commented that Renee appeared to be stiffer with Shelly than she was with Pru.
Sensei called a halt to their exercises, and we sat in a circle. He asked a few questions, and had each comment on their observations.
"Shelly, the last few minutes, you had Renee practicing with Pru, rather than with you as you had done when Pru was practicing the falls, you worked with her as much as having Renee work with her. Why was that?"
"I noticed that she seemed stiffer when working with me, and I felt it better that she learn to fall correctly before determining the cause and working through that. Since she was more relaxed with Pru, that seemed the right way to achieve this."
"Well reasoned. Why did you not comment on her stiffness last week?"
"She was learning, some level of stiffness was to be expected. As we discussed, I saw that Sophia's approach was more effective at getting that first trust, but we were beyond that point today. As a result, I felt working on technique was more important."
"Nicely reasoned."
Feeling myself beginning to get tired again, it felt like I was thinking through honey. It was all I could do to keep from sneezing.
"Good." Then, to all of us, "As Sophia and I discussed, it is always important to be aware of what you are doing, as well as your goals. Shelly has demonstrated that as well, with her work with Renee. You First Years will need to learn that you report ANY occurrence of your not feeling well or other issues as soon as you are aware of them. This is for your protection, as well as those around you. We have a partially closed community here, and an illness could easily spread. In addition, when you are not feeling well, you are not operating at your best. While it is true you need to learn to work through minor illnesses, there are also times where your instructors need to take this into account."
He then looked at Renee, "Study partners help in this, because they see you, usually, more clearly than you see yourself. While each of you is responsible for your own actions, study partners need to watch out for each other and make sure the other is taking care of him or herself. With time, this will become second nature to you. You'll likely extend this care to the rest of your year and even the other years." He then looked at each of us, "The school and all of the staff are here for YOU. Take advantage of us." He actually smiled at the last bit. "Next week, we will pick up where we left off. Pru, you can go change with Renee and Sophia, or stay and watch Shelly's workout."
"They'll not be watching?" Pru blurted out.
I know I winced internally, and I suspect Shelly did as well. Pru's questioning, without first being acknowledged by Sensei, broke through my fog again.
"No, Renee will be going with Sophia to the school hospital, because Sophia is ill."
"Oh." She looked over at me, and must have read something in my expression beyond not feeling good. "Did I do something wrong?"
Sensei responded. "Except in an emergency, when in the dojo, you always wait for your instructor's acknowledgement before speaking; unless he or she first gives you leave. Had you not been told this previously?"
At her sheepish expression it was obvious that she now recalled my comments on this.
"From your reaction, I believe the answer is yes. You will learn to not forget important things, and basic courtesy. I will forgive your transgression this time, but, you must learn when to interrupt and when it is important that you not. In this case, you should have either waited for me to ask if there were questions, or raised your hand to indicate to me that you had one. As I indicated before, never hesitate in an emergency." He set her some exercises to do and dismissed us.
"Sorry, Renee."
"No, I'm sorry, Sophia. I knew you weren't feeling well. Let's change, and go find the school hospital."
"I assume it's near Dr. Bill's office." I sighed. "I've been there before."
We changed, and headed off to the clinic. Renee checked her PDA to confirm its location. Upon arrival, Renee had me sit and went to talk to the nurse. I must have been zoning out again, because the next thing I knew I was in an exam room with Dr. Bill, and he was asking questions.
"I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon, young lady."
I sneezed before responding, "Sorry, Dr. Bill. Sensei made me come. I think I must be developing allergies to something."
"Slow down. Diagnosis is MY job." He went on and asked me all sorts of questions, never saying why. Then, he had me up on the table, prodding and poking me all over, asking if it hurt. At least, by the end of the prodding, his fingers weren't so cold.
"Get dressed, I'll be right back."
I put myself back together, and was just sitting down, when he knocked and came in.
"I'm afraid your diagnosis was only half right. It's not allergies but it is something. It appears you have some sort of viral infection. So, we'll have to wait it out. I've asked your study partner to run and get you a pair of trainers, as I noticed your balance seems to be a little off. I expect her back shortly; then we'll continue. Why don't you rest in that chair until she gets back?"
I nodded, I think, and then I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew Renee was there taking my sandals off.
"I can..." I started to say.
"No, Sophia, just sit there and let her do it. She and I talked, and, based on her input, I've identified those with whom you've had more than passing contact in the past few days. I'll be keeping an eye on them for symptoms. In the meantime, you'll be stuck in your room for a few days, with your meals delivered. If it IS viral, we must minimize further exposure. Renee, based on what you've told me, I'm afraid this will also apply to you," He shook his head, before continuing. "It's unusual to suffer a viral infection in the summer. They tend to be much more common in winter. In any event, I, or one of the nurses, will be checking up on you daily."
Renee was done with my trainers by then, and had taken a seat on the stool, next to me.
"Renee, we'll also depend on you to tell us if you start to feel ill, or see a change in Sophia. If she gets worse, or develops a new symptom, let us know immediately."
She assured him that she'd do so, and then escorted me to our rooms. It was like mom was helping me when I was a little kid. Somehow, I ended up in bed, and was soon fast asleep.
Comments are greatly appreciated! Speculation welcome!
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
Someone was trying to get my attention. "Mom?"
"Wake up, Sophia. They delivered lunch. It's a nice soup and some bread."
That's not my mom's voice. Wait, who's Sophia? Could Karen be visiting?
"Mmuuuuhhh."
"Come on, Sophia you need to eat."
"Sophia?" At least that's what I think I said.
"Okay, Dan. Now wake up and eat something."
I groggily managed to get up. "Why'd you call me Sophia?" Then, coming more fully awake, I wondered why this girl was in my bedroom. "And, what're you doing in my bedroom?"
I guess something was funny, to her anyway. "Dan, do you remember visiting the doctor this morning?"
"Doctor? But, I'm never ..." My voice trailed off, as something seemed to squeeze its way into my mind. "Renee?"
"Yes. NOW will you sit up and eat?"
I did manage to sit up with her help. Then found myself too tired to feed myself, so she helped there too. Eventually she got enough into me to be satisfied, and let me fall back to sleep.
I drifted between sleep and wakefulness a while. Most of the times I roused, Renee was there to either feed me, or help me to the bathroom, or just be there when I was prodded. I was sure I could have gotten up and done something, if I'd needed to, it just wasn't necessary. There was also a nagging feeling that I'd forgotten something important, but couldn't get up the energy to figure it out. Then, suddenly, I was awake, feeling hungry and wondering why I was still in bed. Climbing out, I was surprised at how awkward I felt, but a need gave me a purpose, and I made a beeline for the loo.
Coming out, feeling much relieved, I noticed that Renee was asleep on my settee. She didn't look all that comfortable. Going over, I knelt beside her, and gently nudged her shoulder.
"Renee."
She moved suddenly, then seeing me, lunged and hugged me. "You're okay."
"Ummm, I think so. How long have I been out of it?"
"Since Wednesday morning."
"I take it that today's not Wednesday, huh?"
She giggled at my remark. "No, sorry, you're just well so suddenly. It's Thursday evening, now. I've just been so worried. You were so restless."
"Sorry about that. I guess I'm not a good patient, if you had to stay in here."
"No, you were good. I just wanted to make sure I heard you if you needed me. Guess I was tired. I didn't hear you get up."
"I'm doing better, now. But, do you think I could sit on the settee with you, my knee's starting to hurt."
"Oops. Of course." She let go her hold on me, and sat up.
Getting up, I then sat down beside her. She explained what I'd missed, and how I'd been visited twice by Dr. Bill, and once by a nurse.
"Oh, and that reminds me." She reached over, and grabbed her PDA from the table and hit a button.
I figured that she was calling someone when she put the PDA to her ear.
"Yes, Sophia's up now, and acting normally." She paused then, and answered a few questions before turning to me. "Are you hungry?"
At her question, I realized that I was. "Yes, VERY."
She laughed at my reaction, and apparently the person on the other end of the call took that for an affirmative, because her next comment was, "Something will be here in ten minutes. Do you want to get something clean on?"
I realized I was in my nightgown, and wondered how I'd gotten there. Last I recall, for sure, was going to the clinic. "How did I get into this?" I pointed at the nightgown.
"Dr. Bill helped me change you," she said, turning bright red as she did.
"Ohhh. Um, I think I can change back, myself."
I could see what appeared, to me anyway, to be relief on her face.
"I'll go clean up as well. Be right back."
I went, cleaned up, and put on a simple outfit of blouse and skirt. After all, I wasn't going anywhere. Why NOT bare feet? I was smiling to myself about that thought, when I heard a knock on the door frame of the door adjoining our room.
"Dinner is served, sorta. I guess it's more like ‘Tensies' as the Hobbits would have it."
I saw there was enough for both of us, so we sat down together.
Renee seemed to want to talk, a lot, as we ate. We talked about people we'd known before coming to Hayfield. She seemed fascinated by all the places I'd lived. I guess it is different, but when the other kids you run into are also moving around, it seems normal. Yeah, I hated moving away from friends I'd made, but that happened to all of us kids, and we always seemed to make friends with others at the new posting. Once in a while, we ran into folks we'd known before, but that was rare.
"Maybe that's why you get along with everyone, so well. I mean not just our year, but the others, too. You're used to hanging with older kids through your brother."
I thought about it, and nodded. "That makes sense, I guess. But, so far anyway, everyone's seemed to go out of their way to be friendly and helpful. That makes it easier too." I yawned then, and commented, "Guess I'm not all better."
"Just clean up, and go back to bed then." She laughed. "You don't need help, do you?"
She giggled at my start, and I realized the last had been a joke. "No, I think I can manage. Maybe you can get some more sleep now." I could see how tired she was, and I thanked her again for taking care of me.
She took the cart with her, and I got out clean sleep clothes. I wasn't sure how easy getting to sleep would be, as I'd spent the past few days mostly sleeping, so I grabbed my PDA to try and catch up on some of the time I'd missed. I was surprised at the number of ‘get well' notes I had: everyone in the year, Andy, Andrea, Mrs. Russell, Dan and even Mr. Smith. Mrs. Russell's note included an explanation of where my cold had come from. Apparently Sergei hadn't been suffering from allergies. He'd picked up a virus, and it was just hitting peak contagiousness when he'd been coughing on me.
Thinking about him, reminded me that I'd need to be Sophia whenever I saw him. I was surprised the school had let that happen. Did they expect me to be Sophia from now on? They're not going to MAKE me be Sophia, are they? I spiraled down, thinking direr and direr thoughts, until I remembered that they'd not let me see my parents again.
-- Friday, 23 July 2004
I'm not sure how long I was balled up like that, crying. But, eventually, I felt the hand on my shoulder, and the low comforting words he was speaking broke through my head. "Dad?"
"No, Son. It's just me, Dan," he quietly returned.
I saw he was dressed, but his hair wasn't brushed, nor was one of his shirt tails tucked in. The incongruity of that, more than anything else, pulled me further out of wherever I'd gone.
"What're you doing here?"
"Renee called, when she couldn't get a response from you."
"Oh, no. I disturbed her? After all she's done for me the past few days."
Dan put up his hand. "We can talk about that later. Wouldn't you like to clean up a bit?"
That made me realize how clammy I felt, So, I nodded in agreement.
"I'll wait over there then. Don't take too long." He got up, and moved to the easy chair, where he could keep an eye on me, I suspect.
I guess he's going to want to know what that was all about. I stopped in the closet and grabbed some clean clothes before heading for a quick clean up. It was just a cloth wash, as I didn't want to take time for a shower. Maybe I'll get some answers, too. Dan's seemed like a straight shooter, before. As I put my PDA on the counter, I realized I'd not even thought about it, but still picked it up from the table by my bed. Don't want to become over-dependent on it. They're so useful; I could see how someone might get so used to them that they didn't know how to get around without. Must practice getting around without this thing. That thought made me think of the Marine that had started me on martial arts. Yeah, never become over-dependent on one tool. Though, at that, I realized my ruminating was mostly my way of avoiding going out to see Dan. Am I afraid that he'll confirm things?
I took a deep breath, picked up my PDA, to put it away and saw the time. Whoa!
I went on out, and saw that Renee was dressed, and waiting on the sofa. I guess she should hear this. "I'm sorry you had to drive in at this hour."
Dan laughed, "Saw the time, did you? But, that's okay; I didn't have to. I was staying overnight, here at the school."
"Do all the shrinks do that?"
"No, not every night. But, it's not uncommon for one of us to be here. At the beginning of the year, at least one of us is here every night. Other times, it depends on the circumstances."
"So, it's a coincidence you were here?"
He sighed, "Yes, and no, which is something we're going to talk about and why Renee is here."
We talked, and we talked. Some of it wasn't too bad. Some was harder. Eventually, he got me to admit to the one of the hardest bits. That I was afraid they actually were going to force me to be a girl.
He sighed. "There is NO WAY this school will force ANY student to be other than they are. Our goal is to help each of you be all that you can be, but also to be happy with who you are. Your efforts to learn what life as Sophia is like, and our attempts to help you and also make sure what you're really trying to do here is both good for you and that what you're doing is healthy. Sadly, this lead to some confusion last week and you got a talk from Bill that you didn't need. If you want or need to stop learning what it means to present as a girl, it's done."
He was leaning forward and looking very intently at me as he said all this.
"I know this is a lot to take in, and we'll talk about it more over the coming weeks. One of the things that's also probably worrying you, still, is your outside piano teacher. We already talked about this some, and while you've been sick, I talked with Mrs. Russell. If you stop being Sophia, then she'll just find a new teacher for you. Sergei Romanov is NOT the only person that could teach you. To protect those students that need to ..." He paused then, and looked at me intently. "But, that's not your biggest fear, is it?"
"No," I choked out; then I blurted, "I'll not be able to see my family again, will I?"
"I was afraid you'd figure that out, though, I'd hoped it wouldn't happen for at least another month or two, once you trusted us more."
He sat there, for a little while, with, what I'd call, a thoughtful look on his face. "You already know that this school's very different from most and that there are many students here with special problems." At my nod, "Some, like Renee's, can be addressed with care and understanding." He looked at Renee, "Yes, we can help."
She gulped then, and nodded.
"Others, like Fran, we can help with as well. That's a big reason for the rule that says your family can't visit and you don't go home until you've finished here."
"That's not what I meant."
He nodded. "I know. You meant after graduation. And, that's what I'm getting to. Your conversation with Dr. Bill should have also given you some more hints on how far the school goes to help students like Fran."
I nodded my understanding; then added my guess, "You don't make the girls wait 'til eighteen for hormones, do you?"
Shaking his head, "That was another clue, wasn't it?"
"That was part of it. You let them live how they're happy. Based on what Dr. Bill said, I figured you had to also let them be themselves on the inside. But then, given what Fran's said about her dad, I wondered how you could let any of them go home. Just one family objecting would hit the school."
He never stopped his side to side nodding. "What made you think you couldn't go home?"
"It wouldn't be right, for some of us to go to our families and some not. Besides, it's not just their families that might complain. Some others might get upset about things like mix-up days or hear about kids like Fran and not be able to accept it."
He sighed then. "That's basically it. That's the rationale behind the rule as well."
With a bit of fear, "But, how can you keep some of us from going back?"
He stopped, and sat back. "If you really think about it, there's no way we can stop any of you from seeing your families. We're not packing you off to the moon, after all."
That startled a laugh out of me. "But, why the rule you can't enforce?"
He looked at both of us then. I was looking at him carefully, trying to see if he was doing anything. I'd have sworn he came to a conclusion in his looking at us.
"Okay, you got there, too. No, the school doesn't enforce it. And, before you ask about it, we don't condition you to not go back. But, by the time you've been here a few years, all of the students have seen all the evidence you have. They get to know their year-mates who are transsexuals. And, so far anyway, they all come to agree that the ‘rule' is for the best. The school helps them find further schooling and employment so that their families can accept that it's difficult to get back. So, the school doesn't really enforce the rule. It's the students."
I started slowly, but got faster as I thought things through. "So, you're saying we keep each other from... No. No, you're saying we decide to not go back. Is it just that since some can't, the rest of us don't?"
"There are probably as many reasons why as there have been students. But, so far anyway, by the time they are finished here, all of the students have come to the conclusion that the best thing is to follow the rule. As far as we can tell, none of the students have had direct, face-to-face contact with their families since becoming aware of the rule."
"It seems so mean."
He sat back, held his hand up with a finger — as if asking us to wait a minute... Then he sat there. "You've deduced quite a lot already. There's a lot of information that's normally presented to the students BEFORE they're told the rule, and due to circumstances you've not gotten it. I'm going to ask you to trust us, me, a few more hours and withhold any decisions you may feel you need to make. I will answer your questions. But, before I give you all the background, I want to talk to the rest of the support staff. I'd like to be able to give the information to you in an organized way — rather than have it come out in a mishmash like it has so far."
"There's a lot more, isn't there?"
"There is. I will say that MOST of it is to protect the kids."
"So, you're saying I really won't be seeing my family again?"
"Probably. But, only you can decide that — once you finish."
"You've seemed straight with me, so far, even if you didn't tell us this before we started." Do I say I'll trust him? Do I try to get out? What's REALLY going on? How much more can there really be. "When can you tell me more?"
He looked at his PDA. "It's half four now. What say we all try and get some rest? I'll set up an appointment to talk to the people I need right after breakfast, and I'll let you know when you can get more information after that. How does that sound?"
I suddenly realized how tired I really was, now that I wasn't running high. Yawning, "I think I'd best take it."
"Are you going to be okay, alone, the rest of the night?"
"She'll not be alone! I'm here," Renee jumped in.
The worried look on his face lessened a little. "Perhaps I should have asked if the two of you would be okay. I can stay, if it will help."
"I, um, I think we'll be okay, now. I know some of it now, rather than just think it's true. And, you've said that SOME of my fears are wrong. I guess I can wait a bit more, now."
He talked with us a few more minutes, I figure to make sure I wasn't going to go and do anything crazy. Well, I wasn't going to, at least not yet. Where could I go, anyway; a kid with no money?
After Dan left, I thanked Renee for being there, and suggested that we get SOME sleep.
"Are you sure you'll be able to? Sleep, I mean. You've mostly slept around the clock and then some."
Trying to stifle a yawn, and not succeeding, "I think I'll sleep."
She laughed then, and headed off to her room.
I quickly showered and went to bed, setting my PDA to ring in a few hours. Got a lot of work to catch up on, I'm sure. A few hours should be enough for now. Gotta get my schedule back to normal.
Waking up, feeling very refreshed, Did I sleep through the alarm? I looked at the alarm I'd set and saw that it was still set for ten o'clock. Strange. Wonder what happened. Then I noticed the message waiting indicator. Did I already miss something?
It was a note from Dan saying he'd overridden my alarm after talking to Dr. Bill. Apparently I was supposed to sleep myself out, now. That a meal would be delivered a half hour after I got up and requested it. And, since I'd not heard anything from the adjoining room, I guessed the same applied to Renee. I wonder how much sleep she got, watching me?
"I'm awake, may as well get up." Probably shouldn't talk to myself. They'll think I'm loony. Smiling to myself at the thought, considering how I looked, I wondered if I was a bit loony. I don't THINK so, but, they say crazy folks THINK they're sane. Shrugging, May as well assume I'm sane, since assuming I'm crazy doesn't change anything.
I changed into something I could move in, and slowly stretched out. It felt good to be moving, and slowly I was able to move into more advanced positions. Deciding not to push things, I stopped and cleaned up for the morning. No, it'd be afternoon by now, I realized, or at least it would be after my shower.
Feeling quite refreshed, I dressed and called for the meal. I'd best check on Renee... Wouldn't want to wake her with the lunch cart. I tapped lightly on the door frame. Getting no response, I stuck my head in. With the lights out and the curtain drawn it was quite dark in the room, but I could see to move around. I could see she was still sleeping, or at least in bed.
"Renee," I said quietly. Hearing a moan, I reached out to her. As I touched her shoulder, I realized how warm she was. I gave her a little shake. Probably does need to get up, even if she's tired.
A bleary "Whaa" sounded. "Oh, Sophia, how come you're up so early?"
"Early?"
"Uhuh. I set my alarm for ten when I saw the note to lie in."
Smiling, "Dan overrode our alarms. Guess he wanted time to sleep, too. He also said he'd check into a few things before getting back to us. It's half past twelve, and lunch will be here in about twenty-five minutes if you're interested."
She yawned. "Oh, my, that late? Wow. I knew I was tired." She started to toss off her covers, then I guess she remembered I was there, because she hesitated.
"I'll see you in a few." I smiled and returned to my room. I could hear her starting to move around, so I checked my computer schedule to see what was up. Looks like company I laughed to myself when I saw that Dr. Bill and Dan had both indicated they'd be stopping by. "Hmmm. What's this? It wasn't there when I first fired things up." It was a flashing exclamation mark icon.
"Well, it got my attention. May as well see what it is." It was an icon I'd not seen previously. On opening, I realized there was a message from Dan.
|
Wow. He SOUNDS like he's trying to be open with me. That bit that they might not share it all ... No. I can think of something already — information relating to other students and their medical situations. That may relate, but it's not something I should see.
I was sitting back, staring into space, thinking when Renee came up, and tapped me on my shoulder.
"Sophia, lunch is here."
"What? Oh, sorry. I was thinking." Glancing over at the screen, I saw it'd gone blank. I got up, "Let's go eat it. I've got Dr. Bill coming over for a visit in a little while, and then Dan will be by before dinner."
"I hope he gives you an all clear," she said, as she rubbed an eye.
"Still tired? Maybe I shouldn't have woken you?"
"Maybe. But, no. I need to get up, so I can get to sleep tonight and we can get back on schedule for tomorrow. I hope we can go back to eating with the year and to lessons on Monday."
"You've been stuck in here with me?"
She smiled at that. "Guess you forgot that. Yes. The two of us, stuck in here alone, except for a few visits. They don't want the entire school infected or something."
I tucked in quite well, at lunch, but realized that she'd only picked at her meal. She said she wasn't really hungry when I asked.
"It's like we were in a hotel, putting the cart outside the door like this."
"Huh?"
"Oh, when we traveled in the States, sometimes my folks'd order room service. That's when they serve you food in your room. But, when we finished, they didn't come right away to collect. We just put it out in the hall, and it would go away when it was convenient for the staff."
"Uhh. Guess that makes sense. We never traveled much as a family."
"Really? That's one thing I'm wondering about the school. Mom and dad had planned on going all over doing the tourist things this year and now I'll miss out." No, I'll not cry! I swallowed. "Didn't you ever go see any of the neat stuff like castles?"
"A few times, but they were all day trips. We would always end up at home at the end of the day. Dad traveled sometimes to play and compete. But the rest of us usually stayed home."
She was talking about her family! But, it sounded sorta strange, as if she's describing someone else or only half-thinking. We talked a bit more, and she still sounded kinda remote. That's not like her. Wonder if it's talking about her family or something else...
A knock at the door interrupted us and my musing. It was Dr. Bill.
"Come to make sure I'm not dead?"
"Oh, I was pretty sure you'd not be dead this time, or any of the other times I've been by but you were fairly sick, young lady." He put a bag down, and indicated I should sit on the end of the bed. "Not quite optimal, but it'll do the job for the exam." Turning to Renee, "I'll join you in your room when I'm finished with Sophia."
Renee, apparently familiar with the drill from previous visits, took the hint and went over to her room.
He poked and prodded me a bit. The stethoscope was cold. The rest wasn't so bad.
"You appear to have made a fairly speedy recovery, Sophia. I don't expect a relapse. And, luckily, the virus doesn't appear to be that contagious and, now that we've found out more about where it came from, doesn't seem to affect most people as hard or long as it did you." He walked toward the open door between our rooms. "Now to check on your study partner. Wouldn't do for her to catch this without our recognizing it." He walked over to the open door and called her name as he knocked on the frame.
While he was in with Renee, I decided to look at what kind of info Dan had provided in the links. The first bit was the school's official charter. Wow, they actually have such a thing in a document. Then, the next document had links to more. Going to take a LONG time to get through all this!
"Sophia," a voice pulled me out of my reading.
Turning around, I realized Dr. Bill was back.
"Sorry, I was reading."
"So I saw. I'm not sure if Renee's come down with it or not. Though, she does seem to have something. Just in case, I'll be extending your restriction through tomorrow, to make sure."
"She's sick?"
"Maybe. Maybe coming down with it. Maybe just fighting it off. If she gets bad notify us, but otherwise I'll see you in the morning. Do you have any questions?"
"What do I do?"
"Mostly just be aware of what's going on and how she's doing. As I said before, most folks that have come down with this virus didn't end up with more than a little sniffle and low-grade fever. I could PROBABLY let you out and not worry, but I prefer to play things safe. If it were really serious, I'd have her at the hospital hooked up to monitors. At this point, she's mostly just tired which could be from not enough sleep as much as this virus."
I nodded understanding. "I can do that."
"You're not fully recovered, yet ... despite what you may think."
"I know. Figured that out when going through my kata earlier."
He nodded, "You can keep doing that, just don't overdo it. Get plenty of rest, too." Then, he got a stern expression, "I don't want to be seeing you back in my office soon, young lady."
But, before I could get worried, I saw what folks must have meant by a twinkle in his eye. It wasn't any one thing, and, no, his eyes didn't shine light. But, whatever it was, I could tell he was joshing me. Trying to stay with the program, I schooled my expression and quietly returned, "No, sir. I think I've seen too much of it already. Who knows what you might be telling me next time? No, I think I'd best stay healthy and avoid visits for a while."
He chuckled, "You do that, young lady. I don't think we have to worry about misunderstandings like that again." His face really lit up as he started, making me realize how somber he'd been at the beginning of his visit and when he came back from Renee's room.
He left then, and I went over to see how Renee was doing. His comments had given me a little worry. I shouldn't have. Oh, she was really tired, but otherwise seemed to be doing better. She even suggested we study something. I told her about the links Dan had provided and described what I'd seen in the charter. When I showed it to her, she said the fancy gold blob on the corner indicated that it was a Royal Charter, and she'd not heard about those being given out in a long time.
"Some of the stuff in the charter doesn't seem to make much sense to me, but it is pretty clear about providing the students with the best possible environment for learning, encouraging classical music and serving as an ambassador for the kingdom to the world."
"I saw that… But, did you see the date?"
She looked where I indicated. "So?"
"How many people have you seen here that were old enough to have been here from back then? I mean, my folks were kids back then!"
"Umm. Dr. Bill, maybe?" I could hear the questions in her voice.
"Yeah, him and maybe Fran and Ingrid's shrink. I know ..." My voice trailed off. "Maybe I can find something on Google."
I made sure I had their names right, and did some searches. "Well, looka here. There's a wedding announcement describing William Mayhew marrying a Katherine Grayson who'd recently completed her education. Ohhh. He was her mentor. Bet that raised some eyes! Wonder when ... Wait. That's interesting." I kept following links, and discovered that Kate had gone on to specialize in adolescent psychiatry and development and had published a number of papers before the date on the charter. It seemed she and two colleagues started the school on a shoestring. The school was small, but seemed successful even if it struggled financially. Then, the grateful parent of a student who'd benefitted from the school helped arrange the charter. The school seemed to do better after that. Sometime in the late '80s or early '90s, there was a sudden infusion of capital, and this location became available. The papers seemed to trickle off after the school moved here.
"I wonder why she quit publishing?" The question in Renee's voice was apparent, even through my concentration.
"Dunno, and I'm not sure I want to ask, yet. Maybe it's 'cause she doesn't want to tell others what they're doing here. I mean, imagine the outcry at FORCING the mix-up day."
"Yeah, there is that. Wonder where all the money came from?"
"Some of it's probably the government. Some's probably from rich folks. You know that Bill Gates gives lots of money to education stuff these days. Maybe there was some rich guy back then that did it."
"Okay. I can see that. But it's been a long time, could the rich guy STILL be paying for it?"
I thought. "Something my folks said one night. What was it?" I thought, then suddenly recalled. "Oh, yeah. My dad was commenting about his school writing him to pledge to give them money every year, along with the rest of his class. Like that was going to happen while he had my brother and sister in college. But, maybe some of the graduates of the school give it money."
"Graduates? This isn't Uni. Oh, you just mean finished. I guess that makes sense too, and it'd keep getting money coming in."
"Yeah, and some of the graduates might be important folks in companies by now ... My voice trailed off. "Sounds like something to ask Dan, I guess."
"Yeah, we CAN ask. Maybe there's more in the school files he pointed out to you."
We spent some time browsing through the files just to see what kinda stuff was there. Some of the documents had links to other documents. In other cases, it was just directory locations with files. Since some of the directories seemed empty, and a few of the links didn't go anywhere, "I wonder what kinda information they don't want us to have."
"Something else we can ask, I guess," she put in.
"No, I don't think so, at least not yet. I'd like to see if we can guess some of it, before they tell us."
"How would we do that?"
"Here, see this link." I pointed to where we were in the document. "Well, most of the links took us to places that had more information on whatever we clicked on. This one is talking about the school grounds. That first link showed us a map, but when we clicked it, we could click on some places in the map, that told us what the spots were. Other places said the file wasn't found. So, there's gotta be some places they don't want us to know about, yet."
"Ahhh, I see what you mean. Sorta like multiple choice tests, where if you know one or two answers are wrong, it's easier to guess the right one."
Both of our PDAs took that minute to chime. We both jumped a little, and looked at each other, before pulling them out.
From Renee's expression she had the same message I did.
|
Renee let Dan in, as I closed down the computer. As he came in, I saw he was pushing a cart with what looked like food for all three of us.
"Did you find anything interesting?" he queried, after the door closed behind him.
We looked at each other. "Huh?" I replied, as we took the seats that were becoming normal — him in the chair and the two of us on the sofa.
"You were apparently very engrossed in something, as neither of you heard my knocks."
Renee asked, "What's this Royal Charter business?"
"You saw that, did you?" Not pausing, he went on. "It's basically what established the school as a functioning organization. If you saw the charter, you probably noticed that it was granted a few years after the school was started." At our nods, he went on to describe a little history of the school. After a few questions, we got to the funding area we'd noticed. He acknowledged that the school did have an endowment and that many alumni contributed to it. But, it seems that some of the money did come from patrons as well as corporations. He did interrupt questions then, though, suggesting that we eat dinner before it got cold. We began eating and continued talking.
"I can sorta see folks that graduated donating. My folks get letters from their college asking for money every year." Then I paused, as an idea came to me. "School's been around long enough. Some of the kids must be pretty senior wherever they're working now. Right?"
At Dan's acknowledgement, I nodded, "That explains recent corporate sponsorship. But, what about back in the '60s? Why would any of them have contributed back then?"
"That was one of the benefits of the charter, to be honest. If you look around, there are very few schools with charters, and almost all of them are universities. But, just having the charter was sufficient inducement for several groups to start providing funding. Of course, I wasn't here when that happened."
"Really? I tried to keep an innocent sound in my voice.
"Yes, really. I'll have you know ..." He must have seen something because he stopped then. "Winding me up, are you? So, how did you figure out I wasn't here then?"
I swallowed, "Your bio was on one of the spots I looked at, and as you said that, it hit me that you'd not graduated yet." I was surprised at his smile. It was almost as if he were expecting some such answer.
"Back to where we were; the Charter gave the school more credibility in some eyes and even led to the donation of this site. The rest, as is said, is history."
"Right, what about mix-up days and even this?" I said, pointing at what I was wearing.
"You're right. Mix-up days were not there at the beginning. The no-contact rule wasn't there either. Those developed over time." He paused, holding his left hand to his chin, then nodded. "You're aware that not all students come from good family situations?"
I looked at Renee, and then looked back with a questioning expression. Like DUH. How could I not be aware of it? She doesn't even HAVE a family!
"That was a rhetorical question, Sophia. I know you're aware. But, where I was going with that was that there always have been people here that come from very bad situations at home. There have also been a few that came from really good ones. One of the early decisions was to make some aspects of the school minimize those differences. It wasn't long before we had to institute the no contact until graduation rule. We also had to take steps to not make the school so attractive that the privileged would try to take it over. The charter helped there, as well."
Huh, how's that?
He smiled, "Most of the old money and titles have traditions on which schools they attend. The new money generally tries to rub up against them so it wasn't too hard. The no-contact rule and the absence of obvious folks to make contact with — at least in the early years — helped. Then, once we were able to establish the selection process, which the charter protected, we were able to go further."
"So you'd not let someone in — from some rich family?"
"That's not it. There have been, or might even still be — I'll not tell you — such students. BUT, they have to go through the same screening process you two did. We don't use ‘social status' or ‘money' as criteria, either to include or exclude. We have to make sure any of you have a good chance of doing well in our environment and also that each of you has something to contribute to the school." He looked at each of us. "We honestly believe you both will do better here than you would have had you stayed where you were, in the long term. Yes, there will be some bumps, such as the rules we've talked about. There will be others you'll run into over time."
We continued talking, and at this point I can't recall all of the topics. I know I was feeling, mostly, better at the end. As he was standing at the door, "I know you've both got more questions. But, I can also see that glazed expression that tells me you've absorbed about as much as you can. We can have as many sessions as you need to talk about this or other topics. Just do me a favor, please?"
I looked at him. "Huh?" I know, at times I'm a brilliant conversationalist.
"Please, from now on, don't sit and stew on things that bug you, ask questions. The whole staff is here to help you." Then he paused, "And before you start thinking about this and wondering, no, we may not directly answer all of your questions. Sometimes, we'll guide you to finding the answers yourself and/or provide you with the tools you need to find the answers."
Renee giggled a little.
"I'm not THAT bad, am I?"
"No, not really, but you do have an analytical mind that might have seen the sloppiness in phrase which might have lead you to question us. And, I'm not saying you shouldn't question — just that you should consider withholding any judgment until questions are addressed. And, talk to someone. You're a smart kid, but you don't know everything, YET." The smile on his face at the last, took the sting out of his statement. Yeah, I guess I do need to talk more. But who?
After Dan left with the cart, Renee was doing all she could to keep from yawning. I realized I was tired too, so we decided to call it an early evening.
Comments are greatly appreciated!
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
I woke up the next morning, feeling pretty good. I tried a few stretches, and as things seemed to be going well, I moved the furniture a bit, got ready and went through a workout, starting slowly and gradually building speed. That felt GOOD. I do need to be doing it more regularly. Maybe I can help the others do some exercising too.
After cleaning up, I decided to check on Renee, not having heard anyone moving around in the other room. Knocking on the door frame, and still not hearing anything, I called out before going in. I could see Renee was still in her bed. She'd burrowed under her covers, as if she were cold. But, it's comfortable?
Calling her again, I reached over to give her shoulder a shake. She moaned a little.
"Renee."
"I didn't do it! Please don't make me go back..."
Raising my voice, "RENEE!"
She was so hot! All she did was moan a bit more. Must have come down with what I'd had, or something. I pulled out my PDA and hit the app Dr. Bill'd said I should.
A voice I didn't recognize came back. "What seems to be the problem?"
I told them about how I'd found Renee, and that she didn't seem to wake. I was told to stay with her, and someone was already on the way.
I stood there – beside her bed, holding her hand, wondering what had happened. Yeah, she'd been tired yesterday, but why was she so bad... I don't know how long it was, but probably not long, but I was still surprised by the sound of her door opening. Two adults I didn't recognize came in.
"Who are you?"
"We're the emergency response team," said the taller. He then directed me to move toward the head of the bed as he checked her over. "How long were you here, before you called in?"
I thought back, "Less than a minute or two."
"Okay, then you didn't see anything that could have triggered the spike. Do me a favor, and go and get a cold, wet, wash cloth."
I let go of her hand, and took off for her bathroom. I couldn't have been gone long, but by the time I was back, they'd pulled her out from under her covers, and were rapidly checking various things. There was something clipped to a finger on one hand, a blood pressure cuff on one arm, and a few other things I didn't recognize.
"Wipe down her face and forehead, then lay the cloth across her forehead."
His matter of fact approach and the obvious competence of the team helped calm me down. The three were announcing numbers and other things rapid fire. I didn't get most of them, but I did hear her temperature twice, 39.5 first, then 40.5 not much later. That's getting HIGH.
"It's still climbing." Turning his head toward me, "Sophia, leave the cloth and go draw a bath with cold water only. We'll be right there with her."
I realized they were trying to cool her off, with this, and took off to start filling the tub. This told me my worries were not unwarranted.
"Stand aside, to the left." I heard. So I moved to the wall.
They had her by her shoulders and knees.
"Okay, in she goes."
I only realized they'd stripped her nightgown as they were putting her in the water. I started turning my back. "You'll need to stay here, Sophia. Sorry, but there's not room for both of us beside the tub, so you'll have to take care of the water while I monitor her."
Looking at the other man, I wondered a little. Yeah, he might have difficulty kneeling between the tub and toilet, but surely he could have sat on it.
"You'll need to keep the water about this level. Open the drain, and put more water in as it runs off."
He then put a strip of plastic, with what reminded me of a mood ring like material. A bit later, he sighed. "Okay, that seems to have stabilized her... Jim, give Bill a call and describe where we are." He said to the man behind us. Turning to me. "Thanks for your help, Sophia. Your quick call was the right thing to do."
I wasn't paying that much attention, I'm afraid. Renee's body distracted me, and I kept myself closely focused on the faucet and drain.
"We're sorry to have to put you through this, but we needed to get her temperature down quickly and this was the best way."
"Tom, what's her current temperature?" his partner asked.
He looked down. "39, now, Jim."
I then saw that Jim was talking to someone on his PDA.
"Jim's on the phone with Dr. Bill."
Right, he said call Bill. That makes sense.
Jim put his PDA away, and after they talked a minute, the one that seemed to be in charge, Sam, said. Okay. You can stop with the water now. Please go get her a clean nightgown while we get her dried off.
Recalling that the closets I'd seen were all laid out the same, I went straight to the drawer that held them, and grabbed one. I grabbed a pair of panties as well. They were coming out, carrying her like they had earlier.
"Sophia, we're going to have to ask you to help here – so you know what you're doing if you have to help her again."
"How sick is she?"
"About like you were, though her fever spiked higher than yours did."
At which point Renee groaned. "Let's get her dressed." I saw then that the bed had been re-made with clean sheets and wondered when someone had had time to do it. Jim pulled up the panties, then Sam held her upright with one hand, while he popped the gown over her head. It was obvious they'd done this a few times before.
"Think you could handle that if she's not up to it?"
"Ummm. If I had to, I guess. But, she'll not keep needing help, will she?""
"You did." He replied with a smile. "But, not for long if it runs its course as fast as yours did." Renee moaned again. "Let's get her back into bed."
They gave me some instructions, and said someone would be by in an hour or so to see if she were really coming to and able to be productive
Okay, I was worried. I'd not seen someone so sick before. Not wanting to be too far away if she needed something, I sat on the edge of the bed and thought. Having to watch out for my partner seemed like a lot of responsibility. I worried I'd do something wrong.
I was still sitting there when I heard the knock at the door. Hopping up, I trotted over and opened it to discover Dr. Bill standing there.
"Hello, Sophia. How's our patient?"
"I don't know. She just lays there and moans every now and again."
"Why don't we take a look? From what Tom said earlier, she had a crisis, but you were here to help and it never got to a point where it was truly dangerous." He said the last while we walked over to the bed.
He gave her a thorough check over, having me move her around under his direction.
"For now, I'm assuming she has what you did, as the symptoms seem similar though it seems to be hitting her faster than it did you. I'm going to draw some blood for tests, just to make sure. But, based on your recovery and Mr. Raminov's, I don't think there's anything to worry really about." He proceeded to pull out some things which he laid on the table by the bed. "I want you to hold her arm still. She shouldn't feel much when I set up to draw the blood, but we don't want her jerking and hurting herself."
I moved to the head of the bed, and sitting beside her head, held her upper arm. Having had blood drawn for my physical, I wasn't surprised to see him cleaning her arm with something that turned it yellowish. Then, he pulled out a vial and a cotton swab which he dipped into the veil.
"A bit of this should reduce the chance of her reacting to the prick." He paused, and rubbed it over one of her veins. "It's a topical anesthetic that will eliminate the sensation of the prick through the skin. She may still react. Here's how you can hold her arm still. You'll need to lean over the shoulder, and hold the forearm." He proceeded to position me the way he wanted. "Now, as I hold the elbow and prepare to jab, you need to be ready to react."
He needn't have to the trouble. She didn't move. Then I got suspicious. "You knew she'd not be moving, didn't you?"
"Knew is a strong word. But, yes. I really didn't expect her to react much at all and as weak as she seems to be, even if she had, I'd probably been able to deal with it."
"They why?"
He chuckled, "You were looming, obviously very concerned, and this gave you something to do." He paused, to let that sink in and surprisingly continued, "But, more important is how you felt when you helped her earlier. This was to help you get over that squeamishness a bit, as you'll need to help her the next day or two." He went on to say that, if I couldn't, one of the support staff would help, but they felt she'd take it better from me after having helped me. It was apparent, though he didn't say it, that it also had the benefit of minimizing the exposure to the staff. But, it seemed his primary reason really was that someone be HERE WHEN she need it, rather than a call away, without intruding on her and not moving her into the clinic. He really didn't think another crisis would happen, but, just in case.
It became more understandable when he explained it that way, especially when I remembered how far away the clinic was – clear on the other side of the school.
After he left, I thought about all this. I wondered how it would affect our relationship. I didn't see how it could help but have some affect. I just hoped she'd not turn away from me for some reason. I came to realize how much I valued, yeah it is friendship, our time together. It was nothing like my brother.
Then, I had a thought. Where did that response team come from? I went over to Renee's computer, logged in and started looking around. No, not the clinic. I didn't see anywhere they could have stayed when I was there. Are there basements that aren't listed on the maps? Out buildings? Then, another thought came to me, as I looked at the maps. Unless they were already on the way when I called, they'd have had to be stationed right here in the dorm wing. But, there's nowhere... I kept looking and digging, even for unlabeled rooms/buildings. Maybe? No, they couldn't have already been on the way, could they? How could they... My voice trailed off, as I realized what that meant. Either they monitor us some way, or there's a LOT more going on here than they've told us... Shaking my head, I realized that it could even be both. I wonder, what's REALLY going on?
My thoughts were interrupted by some moaning from the bed. Hitting the lock button, without thinking about it, I was over to her side in moments.
Her forehead was hot, but not as bad as before. I was ready to step back, when I realized it wasn't really moaning, like before, it was words. Not clear thoughts or sentences, but fragments. Something like not wanting to be sent back, and also that she'd not done it – whatever it was. It seemed to go back and forth between them. I knew they'd said let her sleep and she wasn't as hot as before. I wondered if I should wake her. Finally, deciding that she couldn't be resting well, with what she was saying, I reached down, put my hand on her shoulder and quietly called her name.
She didn't waken, but she did seem to quiet down.
As she settled down, I went back over to her computer thinking to look around again. As I sat down, I didn't unlock her computer. I just sat and thought about all that had just happened, Dan's revelations and what I was doing. "This is one very strange school." Then, I laughed a little, thinking about how obvious what I'd just said was such an understatement. This place was far more than strange.
I thought about how normal it had appeared, well normal for a fancy school anyway. It matched what I expected about a fancy English private school, at first look. Heck, in some ways it was fancier than Hogwarts. It wasn't a castle, after all. But, it was as far from what the outside world thought, once you got to know the place. I wondered how many more secrets it had. Maybe they have secret passages! That'd be a blast to find. Settling down, it occurred to me that there probably were more ways to get around the school than the halls. The clothing went down the chutes. Obviously someone brought it back else we'd run out. Thinking about running out make me smile again. We'd obviously not run out. But, that meant there was staff that came in while we were out. Chuckling again, I realized that it was obvious they came in while we were out. Okay, I made my own bed. But, now that I thought about that was kinda obvious, too. It'd been a few weeks – and I'd not seen dust on the tables. I could remember how many times my mom had said that she was thankful for the help that kept things cleaned up the past few years.
I chalked that up to yet one more thing to figure out, where the maintenance halls were. Okay, they could just use the main halls and all. And, they COULD do it all while we were in classes. But, still, it'd be much more interesting to find secret passages.
"Well, I won't find any secret passages..." I started to say I couldn't find anything like that while sitting around the room, and then I realized that perhaps I could. I realized that I might be able to find some indications in the online floor plans. So, I spent a while looking over the main building as well as the dorm wings. I figured that even if I didn't find anything I'd do the next best thing to actually walking around to find where things were. At least I'd get a feeling for where things were.
Periodically, Renee would seem to rise a little and say some stuff, but each time it didn't make much sense, and she'd settle down when I went over to check on her. I was heading back to her computer when I heard a knock from the door. Opening it, there was Sally with a food cart.
Before I had a chance to say anything, "Is Renee okay?" she blurted.
"I think so. I don't remember what it was like for me, but Dr. Bill says she should be fine once she sleeps it off. How's everyone else doing?"
"Oh, we're okay. You had us all worried, though. This is the first time they let one of us bring you your meal."
"I'd wondered." We talked a few more minutes – across the cart. She said she'd been told to keep it between us, but that it didn't seem to be contagious once you'd recovered. She also said that others would be bringing the cart for each meal until we were let out. From some of the things she said, I realized that they'd all apparently been worrying about us and pestering the staff. I assured her that I'd be sure to let them know if anything changed. Then, I realized she had a food cart and we were not on the same floor as the dining hall.
"How'd you get the cart up here?"
"Oh – there's a lift behind the main staircase. Tracy said there's at least one in each building; that they'd had to put them in when it was turned into a school."
"Ahhh. Did you know they don't show up on the online school floor plans?"
"Really? Wow."
"It's probably 'cause they don't want us using them most of the time."
"Could be. It's not as if a few flights of stairs will hurt us."
Her PDA pinged then, and after she read the note, she looked a bit sheepish, and waving her PDA at me, "Tracy says I've been chatting long enough. Take care, Sophia. Let Renee know we want her to get well, too."
I thanked her, and took the cart in. There was a single plate covered in one of those warming things you got in hotel room service, and a few other things. On top of the tray was a piece of paper. As I read it, I saw it was instructions for getting more food down Renee, and an admonition to feed myself first. I wondered a bit, then realized it would probably take a while with Renee and they wanted me to get my food while it was warm. I guess they don't want me getting sick, again. I chuckled to myself.
The food was pretty good. Okay, it was really good. I shouldn't have been surprised, given the quality of the food we'd been eating before I got sick. But, I was surprised anyway. After eating my fill, I covered what was left of my meal, and went to try and help Renee get something down. I did get her up, sorta. She seemed to recognize me and sat up a little. She got a little of the broth down, and was falling asleep but I woke her again to get her to get more down. After the second or third time she stopped, I gave up, cleaned her face – and the bit of dribble (good thing they'd suggested I put a towel across her first.) – and helped her lay back down. When I was back at the cart, I decided to look at how much she'd eaten – and realized it was more than I'd thought. I saw I'd gotten a little more than they'd suggested down, so that was good. I yawned then, and realized I was tired. So, I put the cart outside her room and curled up on her settee. Just a bit of a nap should help. I recall thinking.
I woke up with a start, and couldn't figure out where I was for a second. Then, hearing Renee yell "No, please." I remembered it all.
I was up and over to her bed in a flash.
"No, please, don't hurt me."
"I wouldn't, Renee."
"I didn't do that. Please believe me."
I realized she wasn't talking to me at all; it was someone in her dream. The stuff she was saying made me afraid to actually touch her. I called her name loudly a few times, and when that didn't do anything, I pulled out my PDA and hit the emergency button. I was surprised, but maybe shouldn't have been, when Dan answered. He asked a few questions, and then said "Sophia. Trust me in this. Go ahead and grab her shoulder and shake her to wake her up. YOU can do it." Then, after a brief pause, "I'll be there in a few minutes. Just get her to drink a bit. If she wants to go back to sleep, let her."
Putting the PDA away, I took a deep breath, and did as he'd directed.
She woke, starting to pull away, then she relaxed. "Sophia, it's you."
"Yes, I'm here."
"I must have been dreaming."
"Yeah, and you were saying stuff."
"I'm sorry." She yawned again. "I'm really sorry."
I hushed her before she could go on more. "You should have something to drink. There's some tea in a thermos from lunch."
"Okay," she yawned.
I got her some tea, and sat beside her as I helped her drink some. She was starting to say no more, when there was a knock at the door.
"You going to be okay while I get it?"
She nodded. I slipped off the bed, and went over to open the door. As expected, it was Dr. Dan.
As he came into the room, "I see your study partner's okay."
"She seems to be, but she was saying crazy stuff."
"Since she's already asleep, why don't we sit down, and you tell me about it?" he pointed at the settee.
At his prompting, I told him about all the things I'd heard her say, this time and before.
"I can't tell you what it's all about, that's for her to do, but I will tell you that she didn't have a good experience at one of her foster homes and the last while in the orphanage was not good either."
"She was raped, wasn't she?"
"I don't think so, but beyond that, I don't want to speculate until she joins us. And, I wish you'd keep whatever she shares, either voluntarily or when she's asleep, to yourself."
"Of course. I'd not have told anyone else, but you're our shrink after all."
"Yes, I would like to believe you can share anything with me."
I worried more, and asked him what I could do. He said that for now, all I could do was be there when she needed. He did suggest I sleep in my bed tonight as well. "While the Settee's okay for a nap, you need your sleep, too."
"Um, okay. But, how'll I hear if she needs me?"
"Your heard this call, didn't you?"
"Um, yeah. She was pretty loud."
"I'm sure you would hear her from your room, if you left the door open."
I nodded, thinking about how rarely the door had been closed since that first week; pretty much only when she was practicing. "I'll leave it open."
"Good then, is there anything you want to talk about?"
I was about to say no, when I remembered about the elevators Sally had mentioned. "Why aren't the elevators on the school maps?"
He laughed. "Sally told you, right?"
I nodded. "For several reasons actually. But before I go into that a quick reminder; they're lifts not elevators, and no, they're not listed as lifts either, at least where you could quickly look them up. But, back to the reasons they're not on the map: First, because a few flights of stairs won't hurt any of us, okay, Dr. Bill and Kate use them, but not many others. Secondly, they're not designed to carry you all up and down all day. Oh, they're safe enough, but most of them are designed to hold only a few people."
"But, that doesn't say why they're not marked."
"No, just why we don't encourage their use, except when needed, you're right. They're not on the maps you can get to, because you don't need them, so they don't show up. If you were to sprain your ankle, or break a leg, the elevators would be marked for you, as you'd need them."
"Are there other things like that? Stuff that's not marked, but later becomes marked when we need it?"
"You tell me."
"Probably."
He just smiled at that.
"Okay, I get the hint. 'Need to know'. My dad said that a buncha times as we were growing up."
"Yes, and to carry that metaphor further, 'I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of other unmarked things in the online maps.' Now, is there anything else?"
"Um, no. I guess not."
He said goodbye and reminded me to get some sleep after dinner.
With that, I was back on duty with Renee. As she was sleeping quietly, I sat down and did some thinking about all the things I'd learned recently.
There was a knock at the door, and I realized I'd fallen asleep in the chair. Getting up, I discovered Mark there, this time.
"My turn mate. You're going to enjoy tea tonight. Though Renee's soup's not so exciting."
"Sorry to put you all to so much trouble."
"Hey, no problem mate. " He looked over his shoulder, then, in a quieter voice. She's okay, isn't she?"
Hearing real concern in his voice, I realized he wasn't just the cut-up he appeared most of the time. "Yeah, I think so. Dr. Bill and the staff seem to think so, anyway."
He thanked me for the information, and then made a crack about guys in dresses; which spoiled the mood. As I didn't rise to his bate, he apparently decided he was done, and headed off saying that Pru'd be around with breakies.
Taking the meal inside – I again followed the directions and enjoyed the meal before helping Renee. She stayed awake a little longer after eating, but was soon asleep. Figuring I should do some studying before going to sleep myself, I looked up the assignments and spent an hour or two on things, then realized it'd been quite a while since Renee'd been out of bed. And, as she'd seemed mostly with it when I'd given her the soup earlier, I decided to wake her, and offer to help her to the bath, No the Loo!
Putting thought to action, I went over and gave her a shake. She said she didn't need to, but at my urging, she agreed to try. She was very wobbly, but with my help, she made it. Then, I had to hold her hand so she didn't' fall off. It was worse, with her awake, than it had been earlier when she was asleep. I was just thankful she was able to clean herself. As we got her back to her bed, she said, "I wish I'd thought to convince you to go, when you were sick."
That was it, but, it was enough for me to realize what had happened. To say I was embarrassed was putting it mildly.
She was quickly asleep. And, as I was starting to get tired, I headed for my bed, making sure to open the door all the way. I was still worried I'd not hear her, so was fairly restless.
-- Sunday, 25 July 2004
I don't know what time it was, but I woke bolt upright, not knowing what had woken me. I was breathing rapidly as well, as if I'd been working out really hard.
Then, I heard yell from Renee's room. I was out of my bed and in there before I even thought about it.
She was thrashing and moaning. "No, no".
Since Dan had made me wake her up the previous time I grabbed her shoulder and shook her again. As before, she woke quickly. "Oh, Sophia, it's you!" she said, as she lurched up and grabbed me."
"I'm here. You're alright." I repeated over and over again.
Eventually her grip loosened and she settled down. She didn't let go of my hand though.
"You need to get back to sleep, Renee."
"I know, but I'm scared."
"Your dream was that bad?"
She nodded,
"It's something that really happened, isn't it?"
When she nodded again, I didn't really know what to say. It was obvious that she'd been through something really bad.
"How about I sit here, and hold your hand, until you fall back asleep?"
She thanked me and scooched over so I could sit on the bed while she went to sleep.
I must have drifted off to sleep, myself, as the next thing I knew, it was morning and I was in bed with Renee. I did manage to get out of bed without waking her up. As I was reaching for my PDA, to check the time, I realized I'd left it in my room. Renee seemed to be sleeping okay so I headed back to my room and got ready for the day.
Once I was dressed for the day, I figured I should check on Renee.
She woke up fairly easily, but was still wobbly, so I helped her to the loo. It was with great relief that I waited outside, while she took care of things. Okay, I knew I would help her again, if needed, but still. I'm a guy. I shouldn't be in the bathroom. Then, it hit me that we'd spent the night in bed together – again, only this time we were both under the covers. I could just imagine the kind of trouble we might get into.
I got her a new night gown and unders while she was in – and handed them through the partially opened door when she said she was ready. "Thank you for all your help." She said, as I was helping her back to the bed.
"I'm sure you helped as much." I started, before noticing how red she turned. What did she have to do?
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Dr. Bill and our breakfast cart.
Seeing Renee awake, "I see our patient is doing better this morning. Why don't you tuck in and take care of your food while I check her over." He directed me.
As I was eating, I heard him talking, but her responses were quiet. I kept an ear out, in case he'd say something important. The gist seemed to be that he felt she was over the worst of the bug, which was a relief.
Coming back over where I was just finishing eating, he said.
"You both seem to be doing fairly well. If she continues to improve through the day, I think we'll be able to say it's licked. You've been a big help to your study partner. Let's take her food over and get her started on the broth." Raising his voice a bit. "Renee, we're keeping you on a liquid diet for now."
"Why? You didn't keep Sophia on a liquid diet." came her complaint, which really told me she was doing better.
"That's right, you didn't." I chimed in, supporting her.
He paused, "She reacted differently to the disease and while you were ill, she wasn't drinking enough. I think that's what caused her high fever yesterday. In this case, you ate better while caring for your partner. Renee, let's take things one meal at a time. Dan will be stopping by this afternoon, if you're continuing to improve, we'll have you back on solids for tea."
Knowing there was nothing to be done for it, we accepted his orders. I think he was pleased by the fact she was able to help herself when eating, I held the bowl for her, but she was able to use a spoon. You know, It's a bit of a miracle I didn't slop it all over her, when I was trying to feed her yesterday!
She fell back asleep after eating, so I hit the books, figuring I'd best start catching up on my studies. I used her computer so I could hear her if she needed me.
I'm not sure what it was, but something made me turn and look at her. I saw Renee looking at me, with an expression I'd only seen once before – when she was puzzling through something as we studied.
"What's up?" I asked, as I got up and walked over.
"Sophia, did you sleep with me last night?"
"Ummm." I started. I wasn't sure how to answer it. "Sorta."
"What do you mean sorta? It's a fairly simple question."
"I started out in my bed, but you had a nightmare. I held your hand, as you went back to sleep, and I guess I fell asleep too."
"Just sitting there?"
"Ummm, no. I woke up, this morning under the covers." I hope she doesn't ask more. I don't want to say we were cuddled up when I woke up. It's embarrassing as it is.
"You helped me go to the loo as well, yesterday, didn't you?"
Given that I'd helped her again this morning, I figured why not. "Yes. I'm sure you helped me, too."
Given her blush then, I realized she'd probably had to help me at least as much as I'd helped her.
"If you don't tell anyone, neither will I?" I suggested, giving her an out that I really wanted her to take. I mean, what would the other say, about most of this.
"Okay. But, it's okay, Sophia. I'm glad you helped."
We were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Must be lunch." I said, as I hopped off the foot of her bed, and headed to check.
"Hello, Sophia." It was Wayne, no... It was Alice, there with Dan. What's been going on while we've been out of things?
"Hi Alice. And, before you ask, Renee's doing fine."
"Th-thanks, Sophia. I'll t-tell the others."
I smiled at Wayne, "I didn't expect to see Alice bringing a meal."
He ducked his head, "Keith and I talked. I-I'm trying it out for a bit."
"Welcome to the club then, mate."
"Thanks."
"That's enough, Alice; you can head down and join the others in your common room."
Wayne – No Alice waved as she headed down the hall. "Laters."
After the door had closed, Dan said. "Now, Sophia, that was nice of you to reassure your year mate, but, I'll be the judge on how well she's doing."
"Yes, sir."
"I AM a doctor, you know."
"Oh, yeah. Sorry."
He smiled, "All right then, nurse Sophia, shall we check over our patient, before your food gets cold?"
We went over and Dan did give Renee a complete checkup. "Bill was right, you are recovering quite nicely."
"Can I have something to eat?"
"I think for dinner will be okay, but you'll continue with fluids now."
"Dan?" I wondered why I'd not had to start with a liquid diet.
"Yes?"
"Why was I able to start with solids? I was sick longer; shouldn't I have had more problems?"
"Yes and no." He reached for my arm. "Let me show you something. He turned my arm over, and pointed to a red prick point."
"What's that?"
"You were not getting anything down the first day and we didn't know how long it would run, so we had you on a drip almost from the beginning."
"I don't remember it when I woke up?"
He chuckled. "It was there, you were just not really with it yet. But, as it was apparent you'd turned the corner it was removed. As a result, you were not the least bit dehydrated when you came out. Renee, on the other hand, despite being warned, wasn't drinking enough when she took care of you. And, given the duration and her disturbed sleeping, a decision was made to not give her an IV at the time."
That sorta makes sense, but something doesn't add up. "Oh, okay."
He had me go ahead and eat, while he had a chat with Renee. So as to not intrude, I took my meal. Yea, right, it'll get cold. I had a bloody ham and cheese sandwich. The sandwich was good, but it was obvious that it hadn't been getting cold before.
Before long Dan came in. "Renee's eating her broth on her own, so I wanted to chat with you a few minutes."
He took a seat opposite me, "How did she really sleep last night?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did she have nightmares like the other night again? Or did she sleep quietly?"
"A bit of both. She had one, but, I woke her, like you had me do last time, and she slept fine after that." Please let him stop there!
"That easy, was it?"
"Well, I did have to hold her hand until she fell asleep."
"I see. Then when you came back here, she slept the rest of the night?"
I must have squirmed or something because he came right back. "I thought you said she slept the rest of the night. You didn't have to hold her hand all night, did you?"
"Oh, no, I got to sle..." Shoot, I'm in for it now.
I could see the light dawn on him. "You fell asleep in the room with her, didn't you?"
I nodded. "Let me guess, you sat on the other side of the bed, to hold her hand, and woke up this morning. Right?"
I nodded. Please let him stop there.
"Okay. I can see how it happened. I'm just surprised you didn't wake up cold." His voice trailed off. Then, looking straight at me. You woke up under the covers didn't you?"
"I'm sorry. I don't know how it happened."
"Did Renee, notice?"
"I don't think so. I snuck out when I woke, and she was still asleep."
We talked a few more minutes, but he eventually seemed satisfied and assured me that it was okay. But, he also admonished me that students were not to do more than share beds. As if... After he left, the thought did come to me to wonder why he said that.
We then went in to check if Renee'd finished. She had and was sitting up in her bed, her thermos sitting on the bedside table.
Seeing this, I ran and grabbed my plate, and put it with Renee's stuff on the cart. As I was getting ready to put it in the hall, Dan said.
"I'll take it from here. You two should talk." And with a nod of his head toward my room, I realized what he was talking about. I'm dead. She'll kill me. Then, I remembered how she was at the time and giggled, maybe when she gets better.
"What's up, Sophia? What do we need to talk about?"
"Last night."
She had a quizzical expression on her face. "What about it? Best night I've had in a long time."
"Ummm. You had a nightmare again last night.
She scrunched her nose a bit, as she thought. "I did... I DID. Thank you for holding my hand until I fell asleep."
"Ummm..."
She shook her head. "What's wrong, Sophia? Something's bothering you."
"Ummm... I, ummm. I fell asleep, and, ummm, slept the night with you."
She giggled at that. "That happened before... " She paused, "You didn't have much on but your night gown. Didn't you get cold?"
I just shook my head. She's going to be pissed at me now. Taking advantage. And as with Dan (which was a good indicator of how much better she was feeling), I could see the light dawn.
"You got under the covers with me?" She shivered a little.
"I must have." It started rushing out. "I woke up under them anyway. I don't recall falling asleep."
"C'mere. " She indicated I should come over to the bed. As I got there, she reached out and grabbed my hand. "Sophia, I don't know why, but I don't believe you'd ever hurt me, so it's okay." Then, still holding my hand. "Dan figured it out, didn't he? That's why you were in trouble."
I nodded. "He made a point of saying that students shouldn't be in bed together."
We talked some more. I appreciated her trust, but didn't understand why. I also wondered what could have happened to her
Eventually, we decided to see where we'd each gotten in our homework and were hard at work on it when we were surprised by a knock at the door. I hopped up, and found Dr. Bill there.
"Hello, Sophia. Your dinner'll be along in a few minutes; meanwhile, I need to give your study partner a quick check."
"Okay, doc. I'll run next door while you're at it."
About 15 minutes later, knocked at the adjoining doorframe. "Your turn. We want to make sure you're not going to have a relapse."
"Anyone else in the school catch it?"
"So far, it looks like the answer is no. Perhaps it's not quite as virulent as it first appeared. But, better safe than sorry, so we've minimized individual exposure by sharing the checkups."
"That's why Dan did Renee's check this morning." I commented.
"That's right. We've been keeping a watch on you without greatly risking others."
All through this, he was also asking questions, and poking and prodding me. "One last blood check and I expect to be clearing you both to rejoin your classes after lunch tomorrow. You both need a sleep in." He slapped an elastic around my arm and had me squeeze a wooden stick. Then, he slipped this needle into a vein and pulled a tube of blood, almost before I noticed he was doing it.
"Wow, that's smooth! I've never had it not pinch before."
"Practice, my boy, or lady." He smiled. "I've been doing this a LONG time, you'd hope by now that I could do it well." He stood up then. "Let's head over to Renee's room, and I'll let you know what to expect.
"I'll run the blood when I get back to the clinic. Assuming there are no surprises, I'll clear you to return to your normal schedule after lunch tomorrow. I'll send you an e-mail either way, but if you have questions, don't hesitate to call. To insure you both relax tonight, your computer access will be blocked early tonight, and you'll not be able to set an alarm before 9:00am."
We assured him we'd be good. He waved, and said to watch for the e-mail.
Renee and I went back to our studies, and got so engrossed we both jumped when our PDAs went off with the notification of incoming mail. It was from Dr. Bill, and he cleared us like he'd said he would. He also reminded us to set our meal preferences for tomorrow, noting that a few items might be blocked for breakfast and lunch, but he expected the full menu to be available after that, depending on what the school nutritionist had to say.
We had just finished setting our preferences for the next day, when there was a knock at the door. It was Fran. "Time for dinner, you two. " She brought it in, and chatted with us while we ate. This is when we found out that Alice had started being around full time on Friday, and expected to be there for at least a month, depending on how things went. "Her support staff suggested she try this, because she seemed to talk more on Mix-up Monday than she had the previous weeks." She also let us know what else we'd missed and how much the rest of the year had worried. We finished up, and she took the cart away.
We had a few more hours studying before we got a shut down warning. So we finished the bit we were working on and closed out of our assignments.
Before I left for my room, Renee interrupted me. "Sophia, if I wake you up with a nightmare again, please help again?"
"Of course."
"No, I mean if I need help getting to sleep, it's okay If you stay."
I blushed at that. What do I do? Dan said we weren't supposed to sleep together, or that has to be what he meant. I thought to myself. Then, But, he also said we're supposed to be there and help each other. If I don't help her, I'm breaking another rule. I nodded. "Okay." If I'm going to have to break a rule, I'm going to break one helping someone rather than hurting someone!
Comments are greatly appreciated!
An authorized story, based on the characters and environment of A New Style of Education by Karen Page.
I woke up refreshed, in my own bed. Realizing I was thinking that, I laughed. Kirk would have told me I had it all backward being relieved to NOT being in bed with a girl. Laughing to myself, I grabbed my PDA and saw it was well short of the nine o'clock alarm. So, as the sun was up and I wasn't tired any more I figured I might as well get a start on the day with my exercises and other things they didn't control through the computers.
A quick change to my Gi and I spent twenty minutes warming up and going through my exercises. I stopped when I started feeling winded as I was speeding things up. "Not back to a hundred percent." I laughed to myself. That I wasn't already able to go full speed told me more than anything else, including how sick I'd seen Renee, how sick I'd really been. I did a quick cool down.
I showered, letting the heat soak into my muscles and changed into my clothing for the day, remembering we'd be let out of jail after lunch. I picked up my PDA, and saw it still wouldn't let me access my schedule, though it did show me I had a LOT of time before the nine o'clock alarm. Shrugging, I went over to the keyboard and appreciated again the quality of instrument the school had provided.
Something got my attention, and I faltered in my playing. Looking around, I saw Renee standing in the door.
"Would you mind playing without the headphones, while I get ready?"
"Oh, sure. I didn't want to wake you."
She laughed. It would have been fine, but I'm up now. It'll be nice hearing some music while I get ready to face the day. Don't know if you noticed, but I couldn't even access the music programs.
I smiled ruefully. "I couldn't get anything out of mine but the time of day. Dan wasn't kidding when he said they were locking things down until nine!"
"Guess not, but I'll not be surprised to find breakies waiting at nine on the spot. So, I'd best get a move on."
I waved to her, and was about ready to go back to the piece I'd been working on in my head when it occurred to me it would probably be a good idea to have pencil and paper available any time. These PDAs have gotten me out of the habit of writing things out. I was thinking a while back that I could see how I could get too dependent on them and here I am working on a piece with nowhere to transcribe my thoughts. The MIDI recorder built in would save a run through until I could link to the computer, but… I sighed, and worked on it anyway. If I lose it, I lose it.
I worked on the piece some more, and then realized I couldn't take it much further all in my head. I'll have to ask Mrs. Russell about this issue. Shrugging, I went back to some other pieces I'd memorized over the years. Some Gershwin, some Berlin, some Kern, some Rogers, and a bit of Copland, then I figured I should play something by a European, and was starting with the three Bs* when my PDAs alarm went off. I stopped playing suddenly, and looked around before realizing it was my PDA. I reached behind and grabbed it so I could shut off the alarm. Only then did I realize Renee was leaning in the doorway, doing the same thing.
"Shall we check for breakies?" At her nod, we headed for her door. After all, her door was closer to the lift, which was probably why they'd been knocking at her door each time before.
Opening the door, sure enough, there it was. Pulling it in, we both were about to pounce on our respective plates, when we saw a note. "Tuck in, and don't go looking at the computers until you've had enough. Once you finish, you will each have a message. Dan".
I laughed and handed her the note. "We've our orders."
She glanced over it and shrugged. It didn't take either of us long to eat, but while we were, Renee asked me about all of the pieces I'd been playing. I think I recognized some Gershwin, and then, that was Beethoven there at the end, wasn't it. At my nod, she continued, "Who wrote all those other pieces?"
Not recalling exactly what I'd been playing, "Just some songs mostly from musicals. I know you have them over here, ‘cause we saw Oklahoma with this awesome guy playing Curly. I remember him specially cause he was an Australian dude, and he talked and sang like an American Cowboy. Let's see, his name was Hugh… Oh, I don't remember."**
"My ‘rents didn't play that kinda music. When they played music at all, it was generally classical."
"Wow, there was almost always some kinda music going around any house we lived in."
"Oh, there was music. My mom or dad might be singing at any time, and my dad piped and they both played the guitar in the evenings. We just didn't have things playing much. I guess it was radio that I heard and got to know some classical. That's all they played in the home. Most of the kids complained about that all the time."
"'kay. Seems so different. You said you played the trumpet ‘cause they wouldn't let you play the pipes?"
"Yeah, I was able to do that at school, using a loaner instrument."
"You got pretty good then, since they're considering you for first chair."
She shrugged, "I practiced after school, a LOT, and the teacher helped and encouraged me." She stopped then, and, glancing at my computer, we'd best get cracking. I bet there's a pile of work to get done there."
She was right. And we were working diligently when we were surprised at our PDA's chime. It was almost noon, and it was Dr. Bill's e-mail clearing us to re-join our classes following a final cart based lunch, which should be waiting for us in the hall.
Shaking my head. "I don't see why he didn't let us go eat with everyone else."
"Probably still an off diet, I guess. That or they wanted us and our classmates to eat and not talk about what we've missed and been through."
"Yeah. Let's close up here and grab that cart he says is out there." As we stood up, it occurred to me that the amount of food on the cart was probably different too, since we'd had such a late breakfast.
Pulling the cart into Renee's room, I saw I was right, it was a light meal. Much smaller portions than we were used to seeing in the cafeteria. There was also a note telling us that our PDAs would have our updated class schedule, but that there was plenty of time so enjoy.
"Well, on this our last romantic meal together…" Renee started, but she lost it part way through, laughing.
"Yeah, it'll be nice getting back with the others.
The afternoon was a mixture of class work and chatting with our mates as we went from room to room. Orchestra practice was a relief. I felt a bit out, as I'd not practiced in forever, but I managed. Arriving at the dining room for dinner was an experience. Most folks acted as if nothing unusual had happened; there were some glances from some of the tables. We took our seats; Dan joined our table and made a remark to everyone that it was nice to see us all back together.
Mr. Hobson stood up, "As some of you may have noticed two students from Year One have been absent from meals for much of the last week. Let's all welcome them back, and hope nobody else gets sick enough to be quarantined while you're all here. Now, without further ado, our servers can get to work."
After dinner, Ingrid indicated that we should all head to the year room. "We've all got lots of catching up to do." was all she said. With a bit of trepidation, I went with the others.
It turned out to be less ominous than I'd expected, and the reason we didn't have desert with dinner was apparent. "Dan suggested that we should all get together and chat about what's been going on, and that some ice cream and sauce might make that easier." Ingred started. "So, dig in everyone."
The discussion wasn't all that extensive. Mostly they wanted to know where the cold came from and how sick we'd been. The embarrassing parts never came up. Alice explained a bit more about what she was trying, and how she had been seeing Keith every day. The others talked about classes, and Pru mentioned that Judo wasn't as nice without Renee and me there. I assured her I'd be there the next time.
The next few weeks settled into a routine. We had our classes, orchestra rehearsals, sectional practices, martial arts and everything else. My "Girl" classes also continued. After my voice broke during one session, Kelly brought in a voice specialist and we talked about the eventual differences between male and female voices. Mostly it was an inflection thing, and a word choice thing… Though, she said that once my voice started to break more, we might have to work harder to maintain a more feminine pitch and resonance as well as to develop a natural male voice. If anything, those sessions were harder than anything else I was doing at the school. And, the week later, she decided to go ahead and work on the exercises that would let me keep my Sophia voice. One thing that stuck with me was when she said: "Keeping this voice will be a bit of a job, but far easier to keep this one and develop a man's voice later than doing the other." Apparently, she'd heard this from a colleague from the colonies. I still think it's funny some call the States that. I wonder if it's just to be funny or if some actually sorta believe it. Nah. Anyway, what she heard was that this child performer "Wayne Newton" was told if he worked at it, he should be able to keep his high singing voice as an adult, but if he didn't work at it he'd likely lose the high end of his range like most men did. And, he was known as an adult for being able to sing fairly high pitched bits. The teacher did say that some men are blessed with very large ranges – that counter tenors were able to sing quite high in the soprano range which really surprised me. I later did some research, and found that this guy named David Sabella-Mills*** had won a Tony award playing a woman's part in this racy show called "Chicago"… And looking around on YouTube, I found some. Wow. He could sing!
Even the classes in my specialty; some were really interesting, but others I really didn't get. They said more would make sense later, but they wanted to develop some intuitive skills on my part, before we delved into the theory behind it.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Today was the end of the week; several of us had been working quietly, to make tomorrow a surprise for Renee. I'd gotten the word that it was her birthday from Dan and after talking to Ingrid we'd agreed to have a party as she was the first of the year to become a teen. We were going to do it after breakies in the year room. To complicate things further, Mr. Hobson announced Monday would be a Mix-up day.
That evening was doubly difficult, as Renee wanted to just hang around and have fun, "as we've all weekend to get that assignment done."
"Who knows. Something might come up. Let's at least get the basic stuff done so we don't have it hanging over our heads this weekend."
She shook her head, but in the end agreed. We were working on a shared project; a group trip from London to Madrid, Spain for 15 people. I had to plan itinerary, identify what folks needed to carry, etc. while Renee had to make all the reservations and we needed it all to come out under a certain budget. Our instructors were acting as whoever we needed to contact either for information or reservations and the like. The more we got into it, the more challenging it seemed. It was approaching the time when we were all supposed to return to our rooms, when Ingrid popped over. Hey, you two. Team meeting after breakies in the common room. ‘k?
"What's up?" I asked, quite forgetting about the party.
Some info I need to share that we don't have time to go into this evening. Nothing too difficult. Just thought I'd catch everyone first thing before we went our ways.
I looked over at Renee and she said "We'll be there."
After Ingrid left, we couldn't get back to our project, speculating on what kind of info would be coming out on a Friday that needed to be done in person.
"We'll find out after breakfast. So, may as well get some sleep."
I laughed. "Yeah. See you in the morning."
It was while I was in the shower that I recalled the planning we'd done, and the work the others must have done to get ready for tomorrow. I was surprised that it had slipped my mind.
Saturday, August 14, 2004
The next day, the sun was shining. I popped over to my computer and found a video on YouTube that was a wish for a happy birthday… And sent it to Renee in an e-mail. When I heard her laughing, next door, I knew she'd gotten it so I went over. There were tears coming down her face, as she laughed. Needless to say, I was a little confused.
"Anything wrong?"
"No, silly. It's just nobody's done much anything for my birthday for a while and this is just so silly. How'd you ever find out?"
"What, that it was your birthday? Dan let it slip the last time we chatted. I put together a bit of music as a prezzy for you later, but we'd best get cracking. Don't want to miss breakies."
"You wrote something for me?"
"You'll see… But, let's get moving. I'm hungry."
That was enough. We both were up and made it to breakfast in time.
The meal seemed to crawl as everyone chattered about unimportant stuff and nobody paid any special attention to Renee. It turned out Renee and I had bussing duty (I still thought that term my folks used for what a person cleaning up the table was said to be doing was fun.) And, just before the rest left, Ingred reminded all that there was a class meeting in the lounge as soon as we all got there. The others all went off that way and we quickly finished.
To say Renee was surprised, when we got to the party in the lounge, would have been the understatement of the century. The way she burst into tears was almost too much for everyone… Yet, it turned out to be a wonderful event for all of us as the rest of the crew came to get a hint about how limited her opportunities for happiness seemed to have been.
Friday, September 3, 2004
Things had been going quite well. I'd not say uninteresting as everything seemed to be quite interesting here at the school but it felt like something was up this evening. I wasn't sure what, but when I saw Brenda over at the year four table I began wondering. Then I saw that a few other upperclassmen were also there as their alter-egos… But, not all… And, it wasn't a mix-up day. The high point of the evening though was when Mr. Hobson stood up at the end of the meal to announce the Fall trip would be to Barcelona in a month, and that the Spanish classes we'd all started earlier would become a daily event so that we would have a passing familiarity. Kate said that the school generally tried for trips later in the term to allow for better language training but it just wouldn't happen this year so things would be a little more constrained than sometimes in the past.
On Monday, Renee and I got a new joint project – planning travel for the entire school to Barcelona. Our teachers explained that periodically over the next two weeks, we'd meet with different people who were doing the actual planning to ask questions and compare what we had been doing with the actual plans. It sounded like a neat way to do something like this, though the increase in scope over our last project was a bit daunting.
Friday, September 10, 2004
I was still deep in thought over the hotel rooming situation for the trip exercise when we arrived at dinner, and I was a bit distracted. It was only when I saw there were ten (10) meals to bring to the table that I realized we had a guest and it was Mr. Hobson. I wonder if there's anything new he'll be telling us. It was only last week that he'd stood up after the meal to announce that we would be going to Barcelona for the Fall trip from our table. I didn't think there was any way he could top that, but it was still interesting to think about.
The meal was up to the usual standards for the school. Renee and I were about to go and get the pudding, when Mr. Hobson indicated we should wait. So, we resumed our seats.
"As you all probably know, today makes a milestone for Sophia." I looked around, and saw blank expressions on everyone else's faces, except Tracy's. Mr. Hobson chuckled at our expressions, and continued. "Congratulations on two months living as Sophia. You, and Alice, have done so well that the School has decided to move up your year field trip. In two weeks, you'll be visiting the Tower of London and then have dinner and see a concert in the evening."
I barely contained myself from jumping up to cheer. A trip to the tower was one thing I'd regretted about when the school started. I'd missed the planned family visit. I was sure mom and dad had gone ahead and toured the old castle. And as much as I'd have liked to have done it with them, at least this way I'd still get to see it. "How many leaders will be with us?" No, I couldn't see them letting us go out on our own.
"One of the support staff will be with you as well as two other staff, and to help out several upper classmen will be along. There'll be an organizational meeting before dinner on Sunday, where you'll meet the upper classmen and get the rest of the details of the trip. Before you ask, there'll be one upper classman for each pair of first years and to do the math, that means a dozen students and three or four staff." He paused, and pulled out his PDA. Apparently seeing a lot of questions coming to our minds. "No, I'll not provide more details now. Some will be available to you when you get back to your rooms this evening. For the rest, you'll need to wait until Sunday. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm afraid I'll have to abandon you to eat desert on your own while I take a call in my office. Renee and Sophia, go ahead now." He got up, and headed for the door.
When we got back, the rest of the year was abuzz talking about the upcoming trip, and peppering Tracy with questions.
__________________________
* Three Bs – Beethoven, Bach & Brahams
** The Actor in question was Hugh Jackman. He was playing the role of Curly in "Oklahoma" on London's West End when – between shows one day - he auditioned for the role of Wolverine. This actually happened in 1999, but I liked the story so much, I twisted things a little bit.
*** This individual actually exists. And, you can find some of his singing on YouTube.
Comments are greatly appreciated!