The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2742 by Angharad Copyright© 2015 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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Graham had agreed that there was nothing about me that was frightening, unless it was my clothing bill. He consented that next time he came for a tutorial he’d be less nervous and try harder to give me the feedback I needed to continue his funding by validating his interim reports. His sponsors needed my feedback on his efforts to make the payments of his sponsorship. Fortunately, I was able to piece together enough of a report up to now to keep them happy, but I felt cross that Graham was taking too much of my time, made worse by his apparent casualness. Hopefully, that was all improving—I hoped.

I listened to Trish as she sat and wrote what she had experienced. It felt quite surreal listening to it from her point of view and I had to help her articulate some of her thoughts and feelings. On the whole she found the whole experience interesting and positive. She also said she’d do any tutorials for me where my students found me frightening. One of these days I’ll skelp her lug, the wee scunner.

“D’you really think Graham was frightened of me?”

She paused for a moment obviously thinking carefully before she answered, all the time wearing an uncertain expression. “I don’t think he was scared of you, Mummy; he was frightened of saying something stupid to you because he likes you a lot and wants you to like him back.”

That sounded like some sort of sexual subtext but if like is substituted with respect, the subtexts disappear. He was in awe of me because I was very successful at what I did. He seemed to think everything I did was just perfect. Naturally I knew differently, I was well aware of my own shortcomings. I was also well aware that he followed me round like a puppy dog and had to be very sure that I gave him no ambiguity of verbal or non-verbal interactions. It might be flattering to have a younger man desirous of you, but it’s also very wearing. I hoped that showing him one of my children, it would remind him that I’m a happily married woman.

Because I had this almost goddess like status in Graham’s eyes, which caused him to be tongue tied in my presence, he had a very strange perspective in his view of me. Even if I accept that I’m reasonably good looking, I think he shouldn’t feel sexually attracted to me because he knows I’m happily married and I give him no encouragement whatsoever.

The next morning I had a post mortem of our subterfuge with my co conspirator, Diane. On asking how she thought it had gone, she said, “I hadn’t appreciated that he had it as badly as he does, he practically worships the ground you walk on.”

“I did try to suggest this was the case, but didn’t think you’d believe me.”

“Why ever not?”

“I’m not sure, vanity perhaps.”

“I wouldn’t have said that vanity was one of your major weaknesses, unless it was intellectual—then having seen your daughter in action—I think you’re quite grounded.”

Trish certainly gives new meaning to the word clever, but as Julie has previously pointed out, being intellectually clever doesn’t necessarily mean one is superior because very clever people often overlook the basic stuff which can then trip them up. Clever people aren’t necessarily emotionally very clever or even mature and they’re frequently unpractical. They could tell you the force required to knock a nail into a piece of wood but might have difficulty working out which end of the hammer to hold.

Julie was very practically minded and also quite clever, but not in an academic sense so Trish sets her traps every time the poor kid tries to do anything for or with her, Julie then usually obliges by walking into them. However, just occasionally the boot is on the other foot and Trish is on the receiving end. The two of them have become better at taking the fall, it used to really annoy the older girl but providing Trish does it without malice they usually laugh.

“How can someone be in such thrall to another person?”

“I don’t know, presumably it’s a combination of admiration, respect and ambition coupled with an element of sexual attraction that he knows is beyond him. You’re out of his class but it doesn’t stop him wanting you.”

“Why does that always have to rear its ugly head?”

“One of the potential problems when working with mixed sex teams or groups. Men and women fancy each other.”

“But I don’t fancy him.”

“He’s quite good looking.”

“Diane, I am happily married and intend to stay that way. I don’t fancy him one bit and I don’t need any extra marital action, I can barely cope with Simon’s demands at times.”

“Perhaps you need to tell him straight.”

“But if I do that implies I’ve noticed his attentions, perhaps I should pass him over to Kieran.” This was one of my teaching team, recently promoted to reader in zoology but a specialist in entomology rather than dormeece and Graham was running a project in dormouse ecology—my subject. It was also something that I was needing to use his research in for my latest paper. It’s a year since I’ve published much other than the survey and my study on the importance of Sycamore trees to dormouse colonies had been several years in gestation—it was basically just needing his data to complete, to support my earlier discussions.

“I didn’t think Kieran was into furry things unless they’re eating his insects.”

“Dormice do to some extent.”

“I thought they ate nuts and acorns.”

“Berries, other fruits, flowers, insects and anything else small enough for them to catch. They can’t however eat anything that requires digesting cellulose, so leaves and things are out.”

“I remember that from your film, I forgot the bit about insects.”

“Mainly stuff like moth caterpillars, easy to catch and eat except the hairy ones with irritant hairs. Only cuckoos like them.”

“Cuckoos?”

“Yeah, you know iconic messenger of spring—disappearing from England but doing quite well in Scotland and Ireland.”

“Haven’t heard one for yonks.”

“They are becoming scarcer, something to do with different populations using different migratory routes, anyway, they can eat even large hairy caterpillars which they turn inside out to presumably prevent eating the irritating hairs. Some of the thrush family do the same with slugs to avoid all the slime, blackbirds if they’re into to slugs turn them inside out and not eat the tougher skin.”

“Ugh, fancy eating hairy caterpillars or slugs. I was going to suggest a cuppa but not sure I fancy one now.” Diane made a face and wiggled her fingers to emphasise her disgust at such fodder.

“No but I do,” I beamed at her and she scowled before vacating her desk to put the kettle on. While she was out I thought that I needed to take some action about Graham but not sure exactly what. Sometimes there are drawbacks to being attractive or seemingly so.