Yuletide Acceptance

Raising a young boy as a single parent is not easy. Raising a young boy who believes he’s really a girl is even more challenging. Being a young boy being raised by a single male parent (dad) also isn’t easy. Being in a single parent/single child family, especially during the holidays, is especially difficult. Dan and 11 year old Matt were in agreement on these matters.

Young Matt was under the impression that his mom had found a better family three years ago and had moved out on him and his dad. Soon to be age 12 Matt began to have social problems at home and school since his mom had abandoned them when he was 8.

In a weird way Matt blamed himself for his mom moving in with a new family. Her new family had a young daughter. Mom had always wanted a daughter. Matt felt bad that he wasn’t what mom wanted and he believed that is why mom had moved out. Matt’s earliest memories were of wanting to be the daughter that his mom wanted.

Matt had tried to tell his mother that he was really a girl on the inside; the girl that mom would have loved more than she loved him. It was his fault that mom had left home. This belief and feelings of guilt were extremely stressful for Matt.

Over the years Matt had repeatedly told his mom and dad that he was really a girl. He told them his name was Maddie (short for Madeline). At Christmas time Matt always told his parents that he wanted girly things. He had told them this many times. Matt told them that he wanted a Hello Kitty pajama set, nail polish, and a hummingbird necklace. Most importantly but left unspoken was Matt’s very real need for acceptance of being who he was.

Matt had also tried to show his parents that he could be the daughter that mom wanted. He refused haircuts and had let his hair grow shoulder length; Dan grudgingly allowed Matt to wear a ponytail at home. Mattie painted his nails on several occasions and proudly showed them to his mom to prove he was a girl inside. Boys don’t paint their nails, do they?

It was these circumstances that were at the root of Matt’s troubling scholastic and social problems; it also was the cause of Mattie’s inner sadness. It seemed that no one understood her or her needs.

With mom gone from their lives each holiday season was marked by Matt telling dad he wanted to be a girl. Dad always said the same thing, “You’re much too young to be having these thoughts. We’ll talk about this when you’re older.”

Dan had sought professional advice from several behavioral modification agencies over the years. Having heard many suggestions it was a support group for LGBTQ parents of children who had the same feelings and thoughts that Matt had, that made the biggest impression on Dan.

Christmas was fast approaching and Dan asked Matt, “Besides being a girl what else would you like for Christmas?” Matt had a short list written out and ready. Those damn Hello Kitty pajamas were at the top of the list. My Little Pony Jewelry Maker, nail polish, jelly sandals, a hummingbird necklace and a few other girly delights completed his list.

On Christmas Eve Dan and Matt made sure to hang their Christmas stocking on the mantle where Santa would be sure to see them. Their stockings were the traditional red felt with a fuzzy white border at the top opening. One stocking was labeled “Dad” and the other was marked “Matt”. Their Christmas tree looked and smelled beautiful.

Christmas morning

Matt arose early and sleepily wandered into the living room while rubbing his eyes. Dad was sitting in his favorite chair near their Christmas tree. The top of one stocking had a name in shiny silver glitter that proclaimed “Maddie”!

Maddie’s heart skipped a beat and her eyes widened. Maddie quickly looked to see dad’s reaction. “Maddie, go get your pretty stocking and bring it to me please.” There was no hesitation and in an instant the stocking was in dad’s hand.

Reaching into the stocking dad said, “Come closer Sweetie and let’s see what Santa left you.” Retrieving the hummingbird necklace from the bottom of Mattie’s stocking Dan dangled it so Mattie could see how pretty it was. Reaching around her neck he carefully hooked it place and gave her a hug. Mattie was very pleased.

Dan dipped back into the stocking and pulled out a silver tube of Peppermint flavored pink lipstick; he removed the top and twirled it out. Gently holding Maddie’s chin Dan carefully applied the pink color to Maddie’s lips, paused a moment, and then kissed them. “Merry Christmas, my little Maddie.” The aroma and taste of peppermint was pleasant. Maddie was in rapture!

Turning Maddie to face the Christmas tree Dan said, “See the blue package with the red bow? Those are the PJs you asked for; your necklace will compliment them. I bought the set that came with two panties and a play skirt. I think they’ll look cute on you. You also have a few more items waiting for you in your dresser.”

The PJs could wait. Maddie hugged her dad’s neck tightly and squealed, “Daddy, this is the best Christmas ever.” The two hugged each other and cried gentle tears of happiness. For Christmas Dad had received understanding and compassion; Maddie had received the best gift of all… acceptance.

Merry Acceptance to all!

(Edited and renamed December 20, 2021)