Bikini Beach: If I should Die Before I Wake (ending)

Printer-friendly version
Synopsis:

Sorry. For some reason not everything that was shown in the preview ended up in what actually got posted. Here's the ending. Please comment at the end of this and not at the end of the bulk of the story.

Story:

... SHE came out! Inside his mind, all Hell broke loose as an emotionally overloaded Rose surged forward, forgetting all about Sanndee's advice to stay in the background, eclipsing the Russ personality. THOSE WERE HER KIDS! Frank and Francine stood by the fire place. She could see the little scar on Frank's left cheek from when he had fallen out of the backyard maple tree when he was six. She watched as Francine flipped her hair back in the unusual way she had seen only HER Francine ever do. Those were her kids - and the mother smiling fondly at them wasn't her! Her life was GONE! She couldn't take it! Oblivious to the shocked looks appearing on the three faces, Rose whirled Russ's body around and ran for the car. They were in Chicago before Rose's breathing slowed and Russ was able to pull himself from under Rose's emotional debris:

*OHMYGAWD!*

*I agree; OHMYGAWD! What the hell are you and I going to do.*

*My life! It was MY life! You stole it! You bastard; you stole it! ............... I know, it wasn't you're fault; but I can't hate Sanndee. She raised me. I don't KNOW you!*

*I can't hate her either. Jeez, she was only sixteen! If I'd only made more effort to understand her... never did understand women; didn't understand her mother either.*

*Wouldn't have worked. She was a teenager; no one understands them.*

*I think the guilt she feels is killing her though. I think we need to get back to her and take this whole thing up then. You be in charge; I've got some private thinking to do.

*OK, and I guess I need some time to mourn my husband and my children.*

Separate in their thoughts, united in their love for Sanndee, the two personalities inside the body of Russ Lawrence made there way back to Sanndee's apartment.

Sanndee was dead. Somehow they knew she was somewhere on a beach, forever now sixteen in an endless summer. The cousin deferred to the father and it was Russ/Rose who pulled the Afghan up over her lifeless body. Jez refused to move. The paramedics came but it was a formality. Heart attack was listed as the cause of death. Russ/Rose knew better. They found the letter an hour and a half later, after Sanndee's body had been taken to the mortuary:

Dear Daddy and/or Cousin Rose,
Do not cry for me. I love you both so much! I screwed up both
your lives, but maybe this can make up for it.
Love, Sanndee

The rest of the letter was directions. The card was a lifetime pass to Bikini Beach.

July 28, 2008: sunset (Pacific time): Russ/Rose stood on the deck of the small boat and, as per her wishes, scattered Sanndee's ashes out over the Pacific. The next day, they caught a flight to the East coast.

August 3, 2008, 9:30am: The old woman looked up from her account book, at the man framed by her ticket window. "Mr. Lawrence - or is it Mrs. Lawrence - I've been expecting you.

August 3, 2008; 10:00am: When Russ/Rose had presented the lifetime pass to the old woman, she had made it clear to Russ that while he would not disappear, he would become a set of what she called "pre-memories" in Rose's mind. Did he still agree to the use of the pass? Russ had explained to the old woman that neither of them wanted to remain in this body. Russell Lawrence's time had passed. All his friends were either senile or dead, and the world of 2008 was too different from that of 1968 for him to really want to adjust even if he could. His one anchor to this world, his daughter Sanndee, was dead. (While she didn't say so, the old woman had expected this. With the need for Rose/Russ to reach a decision, Sanndee's time was up. Had she lived, she would have been torn apart as realities changed once again. She simply offered her condolences.)

Rose Lawrence, on the other hand, had a life. They both hoped that by changing this body back to her body, reality would snap back to her reality. She wanted her husband, her kids, her home, and her life. The old woman had assured Russ that to the best of
her knowledge that was what would happen. Russ Lawrence looked in the mirror of the mens' locker room and said goodbye ... to himself. For the second time in his life, with a smile on his face, turning the knob, Russ Lawrence stepped under the shower at Bikini Beach.
------------------------------------------------------------------

EPILOGUE

August 3, 2008; 10:30am: The old woman watched the attractive middle aged woman get into the car (a Mercury) and drive away. With a sigh, she went into her office and opened the back closet. Reaching into the back, she pulled out a dusty leather bound Journal with "1968 - 1973" written on the cover. Taking the book to her desk, she opened it to the page for July 5, 1968. There was one blank space on the page, following the name "Lawrence" She stared at it for several minutes, letting 40+ years of memory roll. *I'll show this to Anya* she thought; *She needs to know.* Then she wrote "Completed successfully" in the blank and closed the book.

August 5, 2008: 4:30pm: Rose Lawrence put down her suitcase just inside the door of her home in Niles, Illinois, at the same moment that her husband, Jeff, came around the corner from the living room. She straightened up into his embrace, and without waiting for him to take the lead, gave him a more heartfelt kiss and hug than she had ever done before. After a minute or two, a happily surprised Jeff stood back. "Honey, go away more often; it's so great when you come home!" was his comment. "Come into the living room for your surprise." Given the last month or so, Rose didn't know if she could deal with many more surprises, but she followed him anyway. Entering the living room, she didn't see anything, but was suddenly attacked from behind as two pairs of arms wrapped her in a hug. "Welcome home, mom!" Frank and Francine back from Honduras early! Tears rolled down Rose's cheeks as Jeff joined in the hug. A few minutes later as the four broke apart, Jeff looked at his wife. "You look like you could use a drink, hon." he said. "Your usual chardoney?"

"No," she replied thoughtfully, "I believe I'll have a scotch: Johnny Walker Red."

THE END
c2000, Jezzi Belle Stewart

Notes:

Readers, Please Remember to Leave a Comment

up
67 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Sanndee's guilt over the

Sanndee's guilt over the events in If I should Die Before I Wake ad death is bittersweet as she paid for her actions that killed her father and gave Rose a chance to live. But glad that Russ went peacefully as he and Rose chose for Rose to live.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

ending too if i should die before i wake

nikkiparksy's picture

This was a very emotional story very well done you managed too bring a lump too my throat.Nicely written and executed in style i have stored it too my favourite's thank you.

Unique

It's rare that someone writes a story that has the master maniplulator of a universe experience repercussions from their actions.

A nicely done story, Jezzi.

Itinerant

Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)

--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Before I Wake

Nice story, Jezzi.

I have a feeling that visions of "Gidget" will be in my head for the rest of the day, as well as "B I NGO, B I NGO, and Bingo was his name-o," and "Beach Betty, Beach Betty, give me a hand..." :) It was convoluted; a LOT of things had to mysteriously work out just right, not the least of which was animating a stillborn baby of Russ's brother in a new reality with Russ's soul.

Wait a minute...that makes Rose, Russ. The returning Russ is therefor just a bunch of memories - a personality, but not a soul, his soul already being in Rose. Don't magic work in strange ways? And I make that 4 reality changes for this story. Whew!

Still, working within the Bikini Beach Universe rules, one of them being that no matter what the situation, a correct solution WILL be worked out, must be tough.

I liked the ending pretty much, in one sense, but why did Gidget, er, I mean Sandee, have to die? I don't see the justice in that. If I were Russ, even a collection of "old" memories buried deep within Rose, I would have been pretty upset that my daughter had to die as a result of my return to the world - and find out that his death had caused a 40 year guilt trip from a "clever" but understandable 16 year-old girl mistake.

To my mind, all the necessary symmetry was established when Russ was reborn as Rose. Maybe Russ could come back, share in the forty years of Rose's memories, "catching up," so to speak, tell Sandee that there is nothing to forgive and that all was well, then fade into Rose's memories.

I don't entirely give a pass to Russ for hitting the semi. Angry or not, he should have been looking where (s)he was going. I also don't give a pass to the old lady. She was the adult there; should have made sure that Russ knew what the place was all about before she let him in the showers.

If I were Russ, I'd demand a refund.

As for the technical ability: the story was well written and I was lost inside it from beginning to end - the best way to judge a story, IMHO. Despite my personal preferences, the ending worked for me to a fair degree.

It's nothing personal, just the way my mind works. Sometimes I see a comedy show on TV and turn it to something else because I get ticked-off at a "harmless" prank or manipulation that the Hollywood writers apparently thought of as "funny," but that I regarded as underhanded or mean. :(

Overall, nice story.

Aardvark

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

Sanndee ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

...was Gidget in my original version which was sort of a sequel to Caleb Jones' story. Bingo was caleb's character Biff. My original version is at Fictionmania and Crystal's site, as is Caleb's "Gidget Surfs Up at Bikini Beach.".
Jezzi

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show

BE a lady!

I loved it.

Dear Jezzi,

It's beautifully written, very well constructed and ingenious. That sounds rather a cold blooded, distant praise, and so it might be if you had not also the gift of involving the reader in the characters, their dilemmas and their pain. Three dimensional and rounded, the father-daughter relationship is finely drawn and one is sympathetically involved.

I am indebted to you for a great deal of pleasure. It has quite made my morning.

Yours,

Fleurie

Fleurie