Vivianne Errison

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 29 / 29

 

"Can you do that?" Melissa asked. "Can the medallion make you younger? Keep you young?"

Viv looked thoughtful. She didn't answer; she pretended not to hear.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 28 / 29

 

Kitty huffed, a little impatiently, and explained, "Claus has this silly joke about a clone factory..."

"—in Omaha," Claus threw in.

"Why Omaha?" Dad asked.
 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 26 / 29

 

I took a big step back, away from her, and tried to be ready.
If this was going to be a physical fight, I was going to give it everything I had.
I figured Amber and I were about on par. If she started something,
I sure as hell intended to give her as bad as I got.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 25 / 29

 

Delphine waved her hand dismissively. "He went to look for that idiot Amber."
After a quick glance around, she leaned in. "Listen to me, Max!
Do you want to know who Oswald is? Do you want to know why he's Amber's plus one?"

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 24 / 29

 

No map ever drawn, on earth, on sea, or in outer space,
has ever presented a cartographer as daunting a challenge
as the seating chart for a wedding reception.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 23 / 29

 

"Women!" he exclaimed. "You can't keep a secret! None of you!"

"Well, to be fair," I interjected, "I wasn't a woman at the time."

He gaped at me, incredulous. "Seriously? Seriously now? That's your excuse?
That's supposed to somehow make it better?"
 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 22 / 29

 

Which reminds me: I had a third reason for feeling nervous. My dad was coming up for a visit.
Vivianne had planned for it, though I didn't expect it to happen so quickly after Nessa's wedding.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 20 / 29

 

"The more you clean," Melissa told me, "the more you'll see that needs cleaning."

"It's a weird twist on Sisyphus," I commented.

"If you say so," she responded.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 18 / 29

 

"I can't put this together," Max laughed. "You're nearly naked, but it's not so you can surprise me.
Did you have to get undressed to spy on Amber?"

"No, look: I was trying to make a quick getaway—"

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 17 / 29

 

A thought came, unbidden. It popped into my head, all by itself. The thought said,
Max has kissed me twice — admittedly, only on the cheek —
but I've never kissed him once.

Right then, exactly then, before another thought could run in screaming DON'T DO IT, I kissed him.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 15 / 29

 

"Amber is a wonderful person. I've never seen her angry or mean or unkind.
I sometimes wonder whether she even has negative emotions."

On hearing that, my eyebrows went up as high as they could possibly go.

"I'm serious," Kitty said.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 14 / 29

 

"You know, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Is that true?" I asked. "I've heard people say that, but is it really true?"

"I don't know," Melissa confessed, "but I do know that men are happier after they eat. If we feed him every night, he's going to associate that happy feeling with you. And that's a good thing."

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 13 / 29

 

I thought to run the hairbrush quickly through my hair, but right away hit a tangle.
I tried a different spot, and hit another tangle. Oh well! Tangles later! Pool now!

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 12 / 29

 

Kitty gave a impatient little huff. "Look — it's not like I spy — that's not what it's like."

"So, what's it like, then?"

"Amber is concerned about Max. She really cares about him and wants to know what's going on in his life. She wants what's best for him."

I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 11 / 29

 

Absurdly, ironically, I wanted someone else to validate my choice;
to tell me whether my desires and feelings were enough,
when it came to making a decision for myself.

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 10 / 29

 

Soon I was back to the old me, clothes and all.

"How do you feel?" Viv asked.

"Prosaic," I replied.

"Awww," she cooed with an encouraging smile. "That feeling will fade. Don't worry. Come, let me give you a hug."

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 9 / 29

 

"Humor me," Viv said. "We're not leaving until you choose a teddy bear."

At that, I reached out and grabbed the nearest bear. "Done!"

"No," she said. "You need to choose one. You need to find a bear that's special to you."
 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 8 / 29

 

As we walked, Viv kept looking at my face. At last she asked, "You look anxious.
Are you? Are you worried about something?"

"Yes," I admitted. "I'm worried that I could get stuck like this."

 

Plus-One With A Vengeance : 7 / 29

 

"But would you do that, if you could? If you were a girl?"

"What kind of question is that?" I asked, taken aback, and more than a little offended.

"It's a yes/no question," she replied. "Would you?"
 

Plus-One With A Vengeance

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A story of two best friends, Max and Elliot.

When the machinations of a jealous, unstable ex-girlfriend
make it impossible for Max to get a date at all --
let alone for his cousin's high-profile destination wedding --
is Elliot the only hope for Max's plus-one?

Would Elliot be Max's plus-one, if he could?

Would Max accept a transformed Elliot as his plus-one?

 

The Graduate, Vamped and Revamped: 6 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.

By Iolanthe Portmanteaux
 

“The problem,” Viv explained, “is that you never grew up as a girl. You look at women -- even yourself as a woman -- through the eyes of a man. In other words, you have no idea what it means to be a woman.”

The Graduate, Vamped and Revamped: 5 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.

By Iolanthe Portmanteaux
 

“What are you doing, Jenny?” Ben asked.

In answer, Jenny took his glass and brought it to his lips, forcing him to take a generous sip.
“What do you think I’m doing? I’m getting you drunk, so you can take advantage of me.”

The Graduate, Vamped and Revamped: 4 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.

By Iolanthe Portmanteaux
 

The text was from Bagger, all caps: “UP 4 BATCH PARTY? NOW NOW NOW! WHAT I SAID IT IS REMEMBER.”

“What I said it is remember,” Ben read aloud, mentally inserting tentative commas. He touched his pocket and felt his car keys.

The Graduate, Vamped and Revamped: 3 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.

By Iolanthe Portmanteaux
 

“What if there’s nothing in the window?” Ben asked. “What does that mean?”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” she answered.

The Graduate, Vamped and Revamped: 2 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.

By Iolanthe Portmanteaux
 

“The back door was open,” Ben stammered, gesturing in that direction. “That’s not safe, you know.
I could have been anybody, coming through that door!”

“You could have been anybody?” she repeated. “Then I’m going to have to give some thought
to who I want you to be, next time you come over.”

The Graduate, Vamped and Revamped: 1 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.

 

“I have a word for you. Are you ready, Ben? The word is: plastics. Think about it.”

Ben’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I.. uh… I don’t understand.”

Mrs Crusoe came to his rescue. “Oh, Chad!” she exclaimed. “He’s too young to get that joke! I’m sure he’s never even heard of that film.”

How I Met Your Mother-In-Law

How I Met Your Mother-In-Law

An Altered Fates Story
By Iolanthe Portmanteaux

“Anyway, she needs your help with something… something to do with the wedding, and she’s going to pay your way. What do you think about that?”

What did I think about that? I thought it sounded like the beginning of a horror movie. I was scared out of my wits; that’s what I thought about that.

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