I am killing myself. I didn't mistype that and I don't think I'm being melodramatic. I am slowly and certainly killing myself and the truth is, I'm not that far away from succeeding. I think I decided sometime that I really have nothing left to live for so why even bother going on. Thing is, life has changed for me, and this time for the better, but my mind and body hasn't gotten the message.
Last week wasn't a banner week for writing. It isn't that I didn't get anything done, just very little. The issue was that I had something crop up everyday that ate into my time. On Monday I had counseling and dealt with car issues. Tuesday I was able to get some writing in but also built a bed frame. Wed I had my group meeting. Thursday I was able to write. Friday I had electrolysis and van issues. So the week yielded little but I got a lot done when it came to counseling and fixing cars.
A few weeks ago I posted a blog about my pussycat Madeline. I was almost doing it daily and didn't have the heart to keep on disappointing people day after day. For a month it looked like there was nothing left to do but to put her down. The medicine I was given didn't work and all she did was stay on the bed, immobile for hours on end unless I brought her to her food, which she barely touched.
I was looking on Amazon and noticed a one star review for the transsexual and the cross. At first I thout the religious right had struck and was going to take it as a badge of honor. Instead, the reviewer said that no one from the lgbt community should read it and then accused me of being homophobic and transphobic. I am totally pissed off.
I would appreciate if a few people would come to my defense.
Once again I finished a short series and I've fallen off the edge of the earth, or so it would seem. But I am still around, reading blogs, sending random comments, writing the occasional tidbit to make sure people don't forget about me.
I figured now is as good a time as any to update people on my life and current work.
And so I do what I've been doing for quite some time. I am undergoing another project, another novel. I haven't posted anything since the last chapter of Just Friends, but I was busy editing and publishing a few stories on Amazon while I gathered my wits about me.
I try to produce good works. I really in truly think I tell a very good story. But something must be lacking and I am wondering what it is. As long as it isn't an attack, I am wondering where people think I come up short in my writing so that I can improve. I have vision of finding an agent and a publisher or at least being mildly successful on my own. My goal is to make $2000 a month so I can live off of (right now I make 400 and I wonder if that would last). I sell about 200 books a month (so by math i would need to sell 1000 a month) on amazon.
As has become my practice as of late, I am making certain works available on Kindle. Now, instead of loading up the different parts and wearing out precious mouse components, you can have it for your Kindle reader. I hope no one minds that I do this, but it is a great way to show support and it broadens my readership.
I am learning more and more about who I really am. It used to be that I used my writing to explore aspects of myself, but that is becoming less of the norm. I am no longer living as Katie vicariously through characters and words on a page and am living real life as the real me.
I'm trying to get the hang of bitly links and I figure I might as well promote something in the process. This will be my last one, I promise. But, people probably don't know the dress punishment is up for sale anyway and it has absolutely 0 reviews.
I don't know the inner working of Amazon and I don't begin to explain things. But right now The Transsexual and the Cross: Disproving the myth that transsexuality is a sin is on sale for only 3.86. That's less than breakfast at McDonald's. I would appreciate a show of support or a few reviews (it only has one). Don't miss out on this great resource.
I created a separate facebook account for "Katie Leone". This one is where I post all my updates solely about my books. I did this for several reasons. One is to keep my fans and friends separate (a lot of people here are both, but I've gotten some people out of the blue find me and it's been interesting. Evidently the APA has me on their listserv). The other, I'm sure some friends get tired of posts about my books left and right.
Very little change. Had a slight moment of hope this morning when cat tried to lift it's back leg to scratch ears but hasn't done it since. Still fights getting the medicine (liquid in a syringe so if anyone has any idea how to do this better PLEASE HELP). She did go to the bathroom... she pooped in my bed (I'm not mad) and she's peed on herself a few times. I am going to get baby wipes because I can't keep on giving her a bath. I don't think she has any feeling in her hind quarters, didn't even protest to getting wet.
Still haven't seen any improvement, but my cat has shown a lot of spunk. Last night when I opened the door to go for work, she dragged herself outside while I wasn't watching. It is horrendously sad to see. She hasn't went potty for 2 days now, but is at least eating and drinking. I guess the best thing is things haven't gotten worst but I am so scared. I cried over her for an hour. I just don't know what to do and I can't fix it and that makes me feel useless and worthless.
I took my cat Madeline to the vet today. She was such a good cat. I had her in a little pink basket that I put a pillow down in and she just laid there, occasionally rubbing her cheek against me. At first you could tell she was very scared, but she didn't put up any fuss and we waited for 2 hours to see the vet.
My poor cat Madeline. Over the past week she has gotten worse. It started with a reluctance to jump and moved to a limp. It is now where she can't move her rear legs. I'm at the vet and very worried. I love my cats but money is tight.i shelled out to fix the van so savings is down. If you pray, please pray for my kitty
I was reading an academic work the other day and they classified transgender as "Tomboys" and "Sissies". I was wondering what the community thinks about these labels? I will put in my 2 cents after others have chimed in. I do know that there are several who have sissy in their name here, I want their input too.
No matter how much I don't want it to be so, my van is gone. That has a few ramifications on my life and I'm not happy with them but I will have to make due.
Yesterday afternoon I was carted off by the paramedics to the hospital. I don't remember what happened, only what people have told me and it is quite upsetting/frustrating/sad.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
