Orphan Petal

October 2023 - Part 2

Shirley has a chance to get a new family

Doctor Mary
Shirley was so happy. He accepted the fact that he was transgender. He was happy living as a girl. He loved looking like a girl and doing girly things. Shirley loves ballet and is very talented. Now he is living with these two people, who see him more as a status symbol than a child who needs love and attention. Shirley is trying to please them by being a boy. The problem here is, can he be someone he is not?

Shirley:
Today was a bad day. My new dad came in and saw me playing with the dollhouse. Then he looked at my bed and saw all the stuffed animals. Mr. Sterling was so mad and asked me what sort of child I was. He told me that I was too young to be gay or act gay. I tried answering in a polite way, asking if I could not keep them. Mr. Sterling sighed and once again asked what kind of boy would want things like that. They were taken away. It took everything in me not to cry. I had tears in my eyes, and Mr. Sterlig sighed once again when he saw me with watery eyes. I stayed in my room and still refused to cry. Let me explain why I did not cry or get mad. I had to prove to myself that I could be a good son and be loved by my new parents. I did not want to be an orphan. I wanted to be in a family and have parents who were proud of me.

Governess:
Shirley was not in a good mood. I had to ask him why the dollhouse and stuffed animals being removed made him so sad. Shirley made me promise that I would tell no one what he was about to tell me, especially his new parents. Then he told me about his real family and how his parents were in a car crash. Shirley still thought it was his fault. I heard that he was a bad boy who was a bully. When his parents died, he was in a foster home, where he broke his foster brother's hand. Since he went to the orphanage, he found out he liked dressing and acting like a girl. It was only when he came to live with the Sterlings that he would have to dress as a boy again. When he finished telling me all this, since Shirley came here, I knew he was special. He was now trying to please the world, and this can be a dangerous thing for him to do.

Mr Sterling
I had a long talk with my wife and the nanny. I told them that Shirley was a weird boy. He was a wimp, wet the bed, had long hair, and would rather do ballet than sports. I am a reasonable man and can respect that we are different in the way we look and what we are interested in. I am the first one to admit that I am also conservative. I believe that parents need to guide their children. This is very important for a child like Shirley. He had been in an orphanage and did not get the attention and discipline he needed. Now I feel that it is time that, as his new parents, we must do our responsibility and not let Shirley go astray. I decided that Shirley must be helped not to wet the bed. He will not wear diapers. This meant no drinks before bed, and the nanny was to help him wake up and go to the toilet. I am not an evil man. Shirley can still do ballet, but he was not to have girl toys. I wanted to have his hair cut so he looked like a boy, but Rome was not built in a day. One thing at a time. His haircut can wait.

Mr Dickens
I spoke with the Sterlings today. It seems as if Shirley is doing fine there. That is good because I do not miss him. Mr. Sterling told me they are trying to get Shirley out of diapers. This is a bumpy ride, as he is having many accidents. However, the Sterlings are persistent, and they are doing what they thought was best for Shirley. The Sterling couple has my support. Shirley is 11 years old, and he needs to get rid of his sissy and baby ways. It's about time that someone sets boundaries for him. Besides all this, they tell me that Shirley is a quiet and polite boy. This pleases me. There was no talk about Shirley being girly, so this assures me that his sissy days were just a phase. Shirley was now being helped to be on the right path that a boy his age should be on.

Mrs Sterling
I am so happy Shirley is here. He has now filled a void in my life. I always wanted a child but could never get pregnant. I think that Shirley is a blessing. He is not like other boys. When I see Shirley, he seems so fragile and quiet. It's good we have the nanny, as she can take care of him. My husband and I do not have a chance to take care of him. We have very busy lives. My job is important to me, and it takes a lot of time and effort. Even when I come home from the office, I often have to sit with my laptop and work on a project for work. I am not a bad mother. I do see Shirley every day before he goes to bed for an hour or so. I will be honest; this wears me down and makes me tired. I think this is something new for us all, and we have to establish structure and a routine. Structure and routine are very important. I am just so happy that we have the nanny living with us.

Shirley
Am I happy? I should be. I now have a family, or at least I am on a trial period. I also understand some of the things they want me to do. They want me to stop wearing diapers and act like any normal boy would. This is hard, as I have been having a lot of accidents where I wet my pants. This is embarrassing. I blame myself for this, which confused me. I did not mind wearing a diaper, and it never embarrassed me. At my age, this should not be the case. I think my new parents thought I was strange and wanted me to be normal and not a mental case. I want to believe that the Sterlings love me. The problem is that I hardly see them. Sometimes I feel like something like their doll, that they can show off once in a while. I am not depressed or sad. I mean, an 11-year-old is too young to get depressed, isn't he? I just had to get used to being in a family again... and normal

Susan:
Shirley is trying to get out of diapers. This has caused many accidents at school, which also means that poor Shirley has been teased a lot. One thing is that others do not like that he is now a rich boy, but they have something extra to bully him about. Things are getting better. Shirley hardly has any wetting accidents anymore. This does not mean Shirley is not being teased. No one will ever forget him standing in the middle of a classroom with wet trousers. I am Shirley's only friend at school, and, to be honest, I am grateful for this. I will also admit that I am worried about him. Shirley does not seem happy. He is becoming quieter, and the sparkle in his eyes is becoming blank as every day goes on. Even though I see Shirley at school every day, I miss him more and more every day. I miss the Shirley that I knew. What I mean is that he is changing. Or maybe it is me who is changing.
Shirley:
Mr. and Mrs. Sterling are proud that I do not need diapers anymore during the day. I wear pull-ups at night. They leak, as they are not as good as the baby-style ones I usually wear. However, I am told the children my age wear pullups. I am also proud of myself in a way. I did not cause drama when they took the toys I liked away from me or told me how I should be. I am trying my best to be the son that they want. The thing I notice is that my new parents do not spend any more time with me. They always seem too busy. I wonder if they know me or want to get to know me. Maybe they just want to mould me into their idea of a perfect son. The nanny is more like a parent than the Sterlings are. The nanny is interested in how I feel and think. She reminds me of Aunty.

Aunty
Things are not the same as when Shirley left. It could also be Austin that I miss. Sometimes I wonder what my purpose in life is. I help provide for orphans when they need a home and provide as much attention and love as I can. Then they get adopted, a new orphan moves in, and I start over again. It is my own fault. I should never get emotionally attached to children. It's strange that the rumour is that I do not like boys. Yet I miss these two boys so much. Mr. Dickens is happy that they are gone. It's not because he does not like them. Mr. Dickens is an administrator, and finding orphans a home is his goal. He was nice to me and suggested I take some time off. It would not help anything. What I needed now was to keep busy doing my work. I just would not let any child get too close to my heartstrings.

Shirley
My bladder is getting stronger and stronger, and I suppose I should be happy about this. Something strange has happened. I have started one again, dreaming about the diaper in a girl. I started dreaming about her when I started at the orphanage. I stopped dreaming about the diaper girl when I started dressing and acting like a girl. That was when I found out that the girl in my dreams was me. Now I think it's strange that I started dreaming about her once again. Maybe this is because I am no longer the girl in my dreams. I was now told I should be a boy. I did not know what to think of the diaper girl in my dreams. In a way, I am happy she is back in my dreams. I missed her.

Jason:
I visited Austin today. It's hard to believe that once I gave him such a hard time and bullied him, and now here I am visiting him and his new foster home. Today Austin and I put our past behind us, and Austin forgave me. I explained to Austin that I was finding out my own sexual identity. I admitted that I did not know if I was gay or not, and this was why I most likely bullied him. Austin tried to understand the turmoil and confusion in my head. Austin did tell me, in a way, that it was a relief that he now knew someone who had the same confusion as he did.

Shirley:
I told Susan at school that I started dreaming about the diaper girl once again. The next day, Susan gave me a pink pacifier. She told me that the diaper girl was me, and because I was not allowed to show that side of me, she was now locked in me. She gave me the pacifier and told me that only I knew who I was. If I became someone I was not meant to be, then I would just be unhappy. When I came home, I hid the pacifier. I do not want Sarah to be right. I want to be the son that the Sterlings are proud of. I do not want them to think I am some freak.

Anastasia
Remember me? I am a ballet teacher. Shirley has a new family, and they still allow him to do ballet. This is very wise, as Shirley is very talented. I noticed that Shirley was not as happy when he came to dance class. He seemed distant, and he no longer smiled. Today was not the best day for Shirley. He wet himself during class. I knew that he had a bladder problem and was working on getting more control. The other children of course teased him, but I told Shirley not to worry, as it takes time. A bladder cannot become strong in a week or so. Shirley needed patience. Shirley was worried. He was more worried about what his new parents would think.

Mr Sterling
I am so ashamed. When I was told that Shirley wet himself at ballet class, I was disappointed. Then I heard that he had accidents at school. I am ashamed. I am also mad that he did not tell me. The boy is 11 years old. He needs to stop acting like a baby and act his age. As Shirley stood before me, I told him that it was time he got boundaries and structures. I had no problem being strict. What I decide is for Shirley's good. Shirley was told that he would no longer be doing ballet.